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1
00:00:02,129 --> 00:00:05,093
- [recorder beeps]
- Blue lid, thick milk.
2
00:00:05,177 --> 00:00:07,473
Green lid, runny milk.
3
00:00:07,557 --> 00:00:10,730
Red lid, devil's water.
4
00:00:13,026 --> 00:00:14,738
Are you going to keep doing that?
5
00:00:15,447 --> 00:00:16,449
It helps me learn.
6
00:00:18,203 --> 00:00:19,205
[laptop dings]
7
00:00:19,288 --> 00:00:22,378
Fuckers! They don't want my eggs.
Why don't they want my eggs?
8
00:00:22,461 --> 00:00:25,217
- Are they in date?
- Yeah, by about 20 years, yeah.
9
00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:27,597
- Lady eggs.
- [Jen] I need that money for the clinic.
10
00:00:27,681 --> 00:00:30,352
How dare they?
Now, these are prime-time eggs.
11
00:00:30,895 --> 00:00:33,275
I'll have to find something else
to monetise now.
12
00:00:33,358 --> 00:00:35,279
- [recorder beeps]
- What's monetise?
13
00:00:35,822 --> 00:00:38,619
It's when you take something
you're good at, like a skill or a talent,
14
00:00:38,703 --> 00:00:40,832
and you make people give you money for it.
15
00:00:44,715 --> 00:00:46,092
Do you have any skills?
16
00:00:47,596 --> 00:00:49,140
- No.
- Do you have any talents?
17
00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:51,520
- No.
- So what's the point of you?
18
00:00:51,603 --> 00:00:53,273
- Jesus Christ!
- [Jizzlord] It's okay.
19
00:00:53,356 --> 00:00:54,776
I don't have any skills either.
20
00:00:55,444 --> 00:00:56,864
At least, not as a man.
21
00:01:17,488 --> 00:01:20,536
Okay, take two.
22
00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:22,122
Time for our next mission.
23
00:01:22,206 --> 00:01:24,251
I mean, sequels are always
better anyway, right?
24
00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:26,965
There's Terminator 2…
25
00:01:27,676 --> 00:01:29,470
Uh…
26
00:01:29,554 --> 00:01:30,973
So what's the plan?
27
00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:34,105
- Um…
- You do have a plan, don't you?
28
00:01:34,188 --> 00:01:36,860
Y-You've had so much time
to think about this exact situation.
29
00:01:36,944 --> 00:01:39,825
Gregor was full of plans.
Fucking do this, do that.
30
00:01:39,908 --> 00:01:42,413
He was planning to foil
some big drug deal.
31
00:01:42,496 --> 00:01:44,125
Organised crime kind of shit.
32
00:01:44,208 --> 00:01:46,462
- Well, how'd he get that kind of intel?
- I told him.
33
00:01:47,256 --> 00:01:49,803
- I-I do a bit of crime on the side.
- Then why are you doing this?
34
00:01:49,886 --> 00:01:51,932
I don't know.
They cancel each other out, don't they?
35
00:01:52,015 --> 00:01:55,397
Shit! We should be the ones
foiling drug gangs.
36
00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:58,278
It sounds so cool.
And, like, good for the community.
37
00:02:00,449 --> 00:02:03,288
I'm just looking for my hairdryer.
38
00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,877
Don't let me interrupt your heroing.
39
00:02:06,879 --> 00:02:09,341
All right, Seb.
I want you to case the joint, okay?
40
00:02:09,425 --> 00:02:12,431
- Entrances, exits.
- [Carrie] Actually, I think it's in the--
41
00:02:12,515 --> 00:02:15,772
- Oh.
- Randall, what weaponry are we facing?
42
00:02:16,314 --> 00:02:19,111
- Uh…
- [Carrie] Where are you, little hairdryer?
43
00:02:19,195 --> 00:02:22,493
Guns, knives, knuckle-dusters, shivs.
44
00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:24,288
This isn't a knockabout in the park, lads.
45
00:02:24,371 --> 00:02:26,960
Found it! Where is the diffuser?
46
00:02:30,258 --> 00:02:33,306
Right.
This is our moment, our destiny manifest.
47
00:02:33,389 --> 00:02:34,810
Okay, we may not all make it.
48
00:02:34,893 --> 00:02:36,730
Especially Seb.
49
00:02:36,814 --> 00:02:39,528
Okay, but if we perish,
we perish for a noble--
50
00:02:39,611 --> 00:02:41,907
[hairdryer blowing]
51
00:02:43,326 --> 00:02:45,665
Babe! Babe!
52
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,294
Sorry, could you do that in the kitchen?
53
00:02:50,340 --> 00:02:52,010
- It's my bedroom too.
- Well, I know.
54
00:02:52,094 --> 00:02:53,806
You're just as important to me
as they are.
55
00:02:53,889 --> 00:02:56,435
You don't act like it. Last time,
it was like you forgot I existed.
56
00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,275
That won't happen this time.
I can do both, I swear.
57
00:03:00,820 --> 00:03:03,324
Now let's have a date night. Yeah?
Just you and me.
58
00:03:05,913 --> 00:03:07,584
- That sounds nice.
- Saturday night?
59
00:03:11,215 --> 00:03:12,426
[sighs]
60
00:03:12,510 --> 00:03:15,223
So, when's this drug deal happening?
61
00:03:15,307 --> 00:03:16,727
Saturday night.
62
00:03:22,989 --> 00:03:24,993
[sighs] Bloody ridiculous.
63
00:03:25,076 --> 00:03:28,124
I miss the days when you didn't have
to go through all this red tape.
64
00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:29,168
Oh, just get him.
65
00:03:34,303 --> 00:03:36,975
[groans, sighs]
66
00:03:37,894 --> 00:03:41,025
Your Majesty. I'm a, uh, biographer,
67
00:03:41,108 --> 00:03:44,783
and, uh, I'm trying to rehabilitate
your reputation as a statesman,
68
00:03:44,866 --> 00:03:49,208
and dispel the rumours that you wasted
your time partying and-- and womanising.
69
00:03:49,291 --> 00:03:51,713
[Charles] Well, of course,
that's utter nonsense.
70
00:03:51,797 --> 00:03:53,007
Thank you, Your Highness.
71
00:03:54,969 --> 00:03:56,890
I wouldn't call that time wasted.
72
00:03:58,267 --> 00:03:59,395
Right.
73
00:03:59,478 --> 00:04:01,357
- I just need your signature on the--
- Tell me,
74
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,152
who am I speaking through?
75
00:04:03,236 --> 00:04:05,448
[stammers] It doesn't matter.
Just, uh, pretend she's not here.
76
00:04:05,533 --> 00:04:08,204
I may be dead, but that's no excuse
not to be a gentleman.
77
00:04:08,872 --> 00:04:12,462
Tell me, what is your name, milady?
78
00:04:15,845 --> 00:04:19,393
Carrie. It's nice to meet you, sir.
Your Eminence.
79
00:04:20,855 --> 00:04:21,898
[sighs]
80
00:04:21,982 --> 00:04:24,529
That's not
how you address royalty. [laughs]
81
00:04:25,447 --> 00:04:29,121
[Charles] Now, Carrie,
what's a choice insult from your time?
82
00:04:29,204 --> 00:04:31,793
[Carrie] I like "twat," personally.
83
00:04:31,877 --> 00:04:32,962
[Charles] Excellent.
84
00:04:33,046 --> 00:04:38,431
Tell this twat I shan't sign his accord
until he gives you a grovelling apology.
85
00:04:38,515 --> 00:04:39,893
And please…
86
00:04:42,189 --> 00:04:43,525
call me Charles.
87
00:04:53,796 --> 00:04:55,549
[gasps]
88
00:05:10,704 --> 00:05:12,542
[sighs]
89
00:05:18,679 --> 00:05:19,889
[Charles] Yes?
90
00:05:25,108 --> 00:05:28,489
[Carrie] Um, very sorry to bother you
again. I-I just wanted to check in--
91
00:05:28,574 --> 00:05:32,790
Double-check that you were happy
with your experience with us yesterday.
92
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:35,295
[Charles] Ooh, I was.
93
00:05:35,378 --> 00:05:36,380
[Carrie] Good.
94
00:05:38,426 --> 00:05:40,514
[Charles] Is there anything else
you want to say?
95
00:05:41,683 --> 00:05:43,019
[Carrie chuckles]
96
00:05:43,102 --> 00:05:45,566
[Charles] And he storms into the court.
97
00:05:45,649 --> 00:05:47,820
All the high lords and ladies
of the land are there,
98
00:05:47,904 --> 00:05:54,124
and he says,
"Sir, you have sullied my virtuous wife."
99
00:05:54,208 --> 00:05:56,880
[Carrie gasps] What did you do?
100
00:05:56,963 --> 00:06:02,307
[Charles] I said, "Well, I look forward
to meeting your virtuous wife,"
101
00:06:02,390 --> 00:06:04,394
and arrested him for bigamy.
102
00:06:07,860 --> 00:06:09,572
Have you a looking glass?
103
00:06:09,656 --> 00:06:10,490
[Carrie] Yes.
104
00:06:10,574 --> 00:06:12,118
[Charles] Can I see you?
105
00:06:18,548 --> 00:06:21,470
[Carrie] Just to warn you,
I'm not wearing any make-up.
106
00:06:27,107 --> 00:06:28,860
You're not saying anything.
107
00:06:28,944 --> 00:06:34,037
[Charles speaking French]
108
00:06:36,125 --> 00:06:39,924
[Carrie] I don't know what that means,
but it sounds lovely.
109
00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:42,513
[Charles] It's Molière.
110
00:06:42,596 --> 00:06:44,224
[door opens]
111
00:06:44,308 --> 00:06:46,020
I'm not doing anything.
112
00:06:46,103 --> 00:06:48,357
Okay. Can I borrow you?
113
00:06:49,986 --> 00:06:50,988
[music playing on laptop]
114
00:06:51,071 --> 00:06:52,825
You used to be a cat.
115
00:06:52,908 --> 00:06:55,789
You used to win cat shows as a cat.
116
00:06:56,457 --> 00:06:58,335
Cat shows have prize money.
117
00:06:58,377 --> 00:07:02,469
We compete in a cat show.
We win. We get money.
118
00:07:03,054 --> 00:07:07,353
As you can see, the maths works out.
119
00:07:09,483 --> 00:07:12,698
Yeah, um, one-- one small issue.
120
00:07:13,324 --> 00:07:15,621
I'm not a cat.
121
00:07:15,704 --> 00:07:16,706
Ah, I've anticipated this.
122
00:07:18,250 --> 00:07:20,088
I've done some digging, and apparently,
123
00:07:20,171 --> 00:07:22,885
with shape-shifters,
if you want to turn into your animal,
124
00:07:22,968 --> 00:07:24,722
you bring back some
of their sense memories.
125
00:07:24,806 --> 00:07:29,816
So, smell, touch, taste.
People on the Internet swear by it.
126
00:07:29,899 --> 00:07:32,028
- Okay.
- I-It'll work. Don't worry.
127
00:07:32,112 --> 00:07:36,370
That's a bit what I'm afraid of.
I don't think I want to be a cat again.
128
00:07:36,453 --> 00:07:37,790
Well, it's just for one day.
129
00:07:37,873 --> 00:07:40,629
Yeah, but w-what if I can't change back?
What if I get stuck?
130
00:07:41,421 --> 00:07:42,967
We don't have to do it.
131
00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:44,595
Right?
132
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:48,812
[sighs]
133
00:07:49,354 --> 00:07:50,858
No, we don't.
134
00:07:51,901 --> 00:07:53,989
- Sorry.
- It's fine.
135
00:07:54,072 --> 00:07:56,285
It's not your fault.
It's way too much to ask.
136
00:07:56,368 --> 00:07:58,623
- Have you got a back-up plan?
- I…
137
00:07:59,959 --> 00:08:02,255
- No.
- You could always save up.
138
00:08:02,338 --> 00:08:03,508
That'll take years.
139
00:08:03,592 --> 00:08:07,933
No, I just feel like I can't start
until I have my power, you know?
140
00:08:08,017 --> 00:08:09,687
Have you tried selling your eggs?
141
00:08:09,770 --> 00:08:10,814
They don't want them!
142
00:08:10,898 --> 00:08:11,774
What?
143
00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:13,904
Those are prime-time eggs.
144
00:08:13,987 --> 00:08:15,031
[Jen] I know!
145
00:08:16,951 --> 00:08:18,663
[seagull squawking]
146
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:21,753
Hey.
147
00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:26,679
So, I thought we could
turn date night into date day.
148
00:08:26,763 --> 00:08:28,516
I think the galleries are open late today.
149
00:08:30,646 --> 00:08:31,648
So…
150
00:08:31,731 --> 00:08:33,108
I knew this would happen.
151
00:08:33,192 --> 00:08:35,363
No, I just have a tiny, little,
baby mission.
152
00:08:35,446 --> 00:08:37,283
But it won't affect our date, I promise.
153
00:08:37,367 --> 00:08:39,204
I'll be done by, like, 8.00 at the latest.
154
00:08:40,289 --> 00:08:41,584
Okay.
155
00:08:45,509 --> 00:08:47,178
Well, uh, don't let me ruin your plans.
156
00:08:47,262 --> 00:08:49,099
I'm sure you'll find someone
to go with you.
157
00:08:53,232 --> 00:08:54,819
[Jen screams]
158
00:08:57,533 --> 00:09:00,246
What the fuck?
I thought he didn't want to do it.
159
00:09:04,797 --> 00:09:06,593
[Jizzlord, on recorder]
If you're listening to this,
160
00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:08,513
I've taken the cat food.
161
00:09:08,597 --> 00:09:12,605
Don't try and argue with me.I want you to take me to the cat show.
162
00:09:12,688 --> 00:09:14,316
Oh, and scratch me behind the ears.
163
00:09:14,399 --> 00:09:15,611
I like that.
164
00:09:17,447 --> 00:09:18,617
[Jen] What do I do?
165
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:20,537
I think we should honour his wishes.
166
00:09:21,371 --> 00:09:23,835
["Money" playing]
167
00:09:29,179 --> 00:09:30,473
♪ Uh ♪
168
00:09:30,974 --> 00:09:35,859
♪ Chilling, laying in the cut, thoughEasy, trying to see what up, though ♪
169
00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:40,535
♪ Brooklyn, home of the cutthroatsNotorious, y'all know how the rest go ♪
170
00:09:40,619 --> 00:09:45,419
♪ Sleeping, one eye openToo smart 'cause I'm always scoping ♪
171
00:09:45,504 --> 00:09:48,510
♪ Watching, seeing how these lames look ♪
172
00:09:49,094 --> 00:09:50,889
[music ends]
173
00:09:51,516 --> 00:09:53,728
[clears throat]
I would like to register my cat.
174
00:09:55,064 --> 00:09:57,318
- Name?
- Jizzlor-- Uh, Hercule.
175
00:09:57,903 --> 00:09:59,280
Just Hercule.
176
00:10:00,032 --> 00:10:01,243
The Hercule?
177
00:10:01,786 --> 00:10:02,955
Yes?
178
00:10:03,873 --> 00:10:06,629
Donna, Hercule's back.
179
00:10:07,338 --> 00:10:08,298
Donna!
180
00:10:08,382 --> 00:10:11,096
Oh, fucking yes!
181
00:10:12,473 --> 00:10:15,312
Sorry, sorry. This is just very exciting.
182
00:10:15,396 --> 00:10:17,901
We didn't know what happened to him
after David died.
183
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:20,574
So, uh, how were you related to him?
184
00:10:20,657 --> 00:10:22,786
He was very specific in his will
185
00:10:22,870 --> 00:10:26,084
that he wanted Hercule
to go to his next of kin.
186
00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:30,259
I am his next of kin.
Yeah. I-I am his aunt.
187
00:10:30,342 --> 00:10:31,721
[both] Oh.
188
00:10:32,221 --> 00:10:33,975
The aunt that collects Bigfoot erotica?
189
00:10:34,769 --> 00:10:37,482
- Um…
- Or the aunt that thinks Israel did 9/11?
190
00:10:39,235 --> 00:10:41,323
[sighs] It's gonna have to be
the first one, isn't it?
191
00:10:41,406 --> 00:10:42,951
Yeah, yeah, that's me.
192
00:10:44,747 --> 00:10:48,462
Oh, sorry, almost forgot.
Um, what talent am I putting you down for?
193
00:10:48,546 --> 00:10:51,384
- Talent?
- Yeah, for the talent segment.
194
00:10:51,468 --> 00:10:55,267
I mean, I know it's gonna be dance,
but I have to ask.
195
00:10:55,351 --> 00:10:56,729
Uh, I'm sorry. Did you say dance?
196
00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:58,650
Mm-hmm.
197
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,112
[Sean, on phone] That cat can dance!
198
00:11:01,196 --> 00:11:03,242
[Mike, on phone] Now, Sean,I'd hate to have to follow that!
199
00:11:03,325 --> 00:11:05,412
[Sean] Oh, Mike, I'd just kill myself.
200
00:11:05,496 --> 00:11:08,168
- [Mike] Oh, come on!
- Well, shit.
201
00:11:10,381 --> 00:11:12,051
[seagulls squawking]
202
00:11:12,134 --> 00:11:14,389
[rock music playing]
203
00:11:18,857 --> 00:11:21,444
♪ Well, the duck is on the windowThe cat is on the floor ♪
204
00:11:21,529 --> 00:11:23,490
♪ Everyone is having a partyOn the moor ♪
205
00:11:23,575 --> 00:11:26,037
♪ Up all nightUntil the creek get wet ♪
206
00:11:26,121 --> 00:11:28,835
♪ Wake up in the morningAnd their head is in a mess ♪
207
00:11:30,337 --> 00:11:32,008
[music ends]
208
00:11:32,091 --> 00:11:34,972
Do you think there will be press?
Like, local news and stuff?
209
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:38,688
Maybe. They might wanna take
a picture of us with the drugs,
210
00:11:38,771 --> 00:11:40,775
like when people catch a really big fish.
211
00:11:40,859 --> 00:11:42,696
I should have brought some dry shampoo.
212
00:11:42,779 --> 00:11:44,407
I get really sweaty in this suit.
213
00:11:44,490 --> 00:11:46,913
- I don't wanna look oily.
- [Gregor] All clear. No drugs in here.
214
00:11:59,354 --> 00:12:01,525
- What are you doing here?
- You're early!
215
00:12:01,609 --> 00:12:02,903
[Gregor] Oh, okay.
216
00:12:02,986 --> 00:12:04,990
You couldn't think of your own mission,
so you had to steal mine?
217
00:12:05,074 --> 00:12:07,286
- I don't see your name on it.
- "I don't see your name on it."
218
00:12:07,370 --> 00:12:10,417
- Grow up.
- No! It's my crime. I backsie it.
219
00:12:10,502 --> 00:12:12,506
You can't backsie it. I called it.
220
00:12:18,977 --> 00:12:20,312
Still want it?
221
00:12:20,396 --> 00:12:21,398
Yeah.
222
00:12:21,481 --> 00:12:23,443
[both grunting]
223
00:12:23,528 --> 00:12:26,449
Sorry, but can anyone else hear footsteps?
224
00:12:26,534 --> 00:12:28,245
[footsteps approaching]
225
00:12:28,328 --> 00:12:29,581
[gangster] Bloody hell.
226
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:30,667
Ha!
227
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,463
Someone's coming. Alpha team, hide.
228
00:12:34,675 --> 00:12:36,011
Shit!
229
00:12:43,233 --> 00:12:44,485
[grunts] Move!
230
00:12:45,780 --> 00:12:47,158
[sing-songy] Hello?
231
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,747
- Oh.
- [Donna] Hi.
232
00:12:49,830 --> 00:12:53,253
Um, so, do you usually compete in Ireland?
233
00:12:53,336 --> 00:12:56,844
'Cause I don't remember seeing you
at the southeast Fancy Lad regionals.
234
00:12:56,927 --> 00:12:59,140
- Oh, no, this is my first time.
- Ever?
235
00:12:59,223 --> 00:13:02,354
Yeah. I'm just here
for the prize money, really.
236
00:13:02,438 --> 00:13:05,737
But, I mean, come on.
It's not like you need experience.
237
00:13:05,820 --> 00:13:07,448
Just cats, isn't it?
238
00:13:07,532 --> 00:13:08,701
[scoffs]
239
00:13:10,079 --> 00:13:12,667
I bet you think you're hot shit,
don't you?
240
00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:13,586
What?
241
00:13:13,669 --> 00:13:17,761
I've seen thousands of girls like you
come and go.
242
00:13:18,386 --> 00:13:19,848
You're nothing special.
243
00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:22,521
Best go home now
before you embarrass your cat.
244
00:13:35,713 --> 00:13:37,049
[gasps]
245
00:13:44,313 --> 00:13:45,315
Oops.
246
00:13:56,922 --> 00:14:00,262
Oh, my God. What a psycho, right?
247
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,605
What is it about Bigfoot?
Is it just the big, hairy penis?
248
00:14:05,732 --> 00:14:07,151
[stammers] Yeah.
249
00:14:07,234 --> 00:14:08,278
Hmm.
250
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,328
Ugh.
251
00:14:14,373 --> 00:14:16,085
Well, w-we don't need to talk.
252
00:14:16,169 --> 00:14:20,010
Dance is the language of the body.
It's instinctual. It's all muscle memory.
253
00:14:21,262 --> 00:14:22,473
We've got this.
254
00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:25,312
It's on the eight count. Eight.
255
00:14:25,395 --> 00:14:28,360
Not seven, not six. The eight count.
256
00:14:28,443 --> 00:14:29,445
It's very simple.
257
00:14:29,529 --> 00:14:31,700
Okay, let's start
with the simplest possible thing.
258
00:14:32,326 --> 00:14:35,457
Just sit, okay? You can do that. Just sit.
259
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:37,796
Sit.
260
00:14:39,758 --> 00:14:42,054
Sit. Sit.
261
00:14:42,681 --> 00:14:45,143
Sit. Sit. Sit!
262
00:14:45,227 --> 00:14:49,110
Sit! Sit! Sit! [shouts, grunts]
263
00:14:58,963 --> 00:15:01,217
This foiling isn't big enough
for the both of us.
264
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:03,889
I completely agree. Fuck off then.
265
00:15:03,973 --> 00:15:06,185
- Oh, I'm not going anywhere.
- Neither am I.
266
00:15:06,269 --> 00:15:08,314
I guess we'll be staying here
until one of us gives in.
267
00:15:08,398 --> 00:15:09,483
Fine by me.
268
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:12,322
Oh, my God. Kiss.
269
00:15:15,203 --> 00:15:17,374
I'm sorry. I write a lot of fan fiction.
270
00:15:31,277 --> 00:15:32,488
Okay.
271
00:15:32,572 --> 00:15:35,578
It says it should be…
272
00:15:41,799 --> 00:15:42,884
Here.
273
00:15:43,803 --> 00:15:46,517
[Charles] Oh, no. This one is mortifying.
274
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,771
It's a bad angle.
I told them to destroy it.
275
00:15:48,854 --> 00:15:50,357
[Carrie] Oh, I like it.
276
00:15:52,069 --> 00:15:53,572
[Charles] Do you have a lover?
277
00:15:55,450 --> 00:15:57,956
[Carrie] I think so. I have a boyfriend.
278
00:15:58,039 --> 00:15:59,876
[Charles] What does he make
of the Dutch masters?
279
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,464
[Carrie] He's, uh,
not a gallery kind of guy.
280
00:16:02,549 --> 00:16:04,761
- [Charles] Where does he take you?
- Uh…
281
00:16:04,845 --> 00:16:08,059
[Carrie] Usually we just stay in
and order some food.
282
00:16:08,143 --> 00:16:09,145
[Charles] A crime.
283
00:16:09,228 --> 00:16:12,151
If I were him,
I would show you the continent.
284
00:16:12,735 --> 00:16:13,737
[Carrie sighs]
285
00:16:13,821 --> 00:16:16,827
[Charles] Have you ever been
to Tuscany in the springtime?
286
00:16:17,954 --> 00:16:18,956
[Carrie] N-No.
287
00:16:19,039 --> 00:16:21,670
[Charles] I would take you boating
along the Arno.
288
00:16:22,589 --> 00:16:24,133
[Carrie] Oh.
289
00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:27,682
[Charles] And we would discuss poetry
long into the evening.
290
00:16:27,765 --> 00:16:30,938
[Carrie sighs] And then?
291
00:16:33,234 --> 00:16:34,445
[Charles] And then to bed.
292
00:16:37,284 --> 00:16:38,328
[guard] Oi!
293
00:16:39,998 --> 00:16:41,167
The fuck are you doing?
294
00:16:44,591 --> 00:16:46,553
[Jen] Step, turn. Not turn, turn, step.
295
00:16:46,637 --> 00:16:49,601
- ["Alone" playing on radio]
- Let's go from the top, yeah? All right.
296
00:16:51,270 --> 00:16:53,525
Five, six, seven, eight.
297
00:16:57,199 --> 00:16:58,201
Okay.
298
00:17:00,038 --> 00:17:01,290
- [music stops]
- Now you listen here.
299
00:17:02,417 --> 00:17:03,671
I need this money.
300
00:17:04,255 --> 00:17:06,467
I need you to understand me right now.
301
00:17:06,551 --> 00:17:08,889
I need you to give me a sign
that you're still in there.
302
00:17:08,973 --> 00:17:11,185
Jizzlord, please.
303
00:17:11,269 --> 00:17:13,816
[breathes heavily]
304
00:17:13,899 --> 00:17:15,903
Now you're just being
an obtuse little cunt!
305
00:17:15,987 --> 00:17:17,699
I can't believe I ever showed you my tits.
306
00:17:17,782 --> 00:17:19,076
[clears throat]
307
00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:24,461
I'll just mark you down as a one
for welfare.
308
00:17:27,802 --> 00:17:29,305
[Jizzlord purring]
309
00:17:44,001 --> 00:17:47,341
[gangster 1] It's close to 9.30.
I drop off to Brixton by 10.00.
310
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:50,723
[gangster 2]
Yeah, he just loaded up the last one.
311
00:17:54,021 --> 00:17:55,524
Why can't we just work with them?
312
00:17:56,400 --> 00:18:00,325
Surely, as long as we stop the crime,
i-it doesn't matter who gets the glory.
313
00:18:00,408 --> 00:18:03,791
Yes. Yes, it does. Me. I want the glory!
314
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,544
This might be my only chance.
315
00:18:05,628 --> 00:18:10,053
[scoffs] There will be other crimes.
This one doesn't even seem that serious.
316
00:18:10,136 --> 00:18:13,811
- Hey, look what I found.
- Oh, my God. Put them down.
317
00:18:16,023 --> 00:18:17,025
Oh, no.
318
00:18:17,985 --> 00:18:18,987
[clicks tongue]
319
00:18:21,743 --> 00:18:24,874
- You in a rush or something?
- No, it's nothing. It's just date night.
320
00:18:24,958 --> 00:18:27,630
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Time with your missus is not nothing.
321
00:18:27,714 --> 00:18:28,924
No, I know that.
322
00:18:29,759 --> 00:18:31,805
Why can't he just back down?
323
00:18:31,888 --> 00:18:34,309
Or you could back down.
324
00:18:34,393 --> 00:18:36,982
No! This is everything I've ever wanted.
325
00:18:37,065 --> 00:18:40,614
Taking down bad guys.
Being a hero. Saving the day.
326
00:18:40,698 --> 00:18:44,413
Yeah. If he has to ruin his relationship
with his girlfriend to do it,
327
00:18:45,081 --> 00:18:47,670
- then so be it.
- It's not what I meant.
328
00:18:47,754 --> 00:18:50,551
- Do you think your girlfriend will be mad?
- Not mad.
329
00:18:51,887 --> 00:18:53,640
Maybe just disappointed.
330
00:18:53,724 --> 00:18:55,561
- Oh, disappointed is way worse than mad.
- [grunts]
331
00:18:55,644 --> 00:18:57,230
Trust me, if a guy did that to me,
332
00:18:57,314 --> 00:18:59,151
- it would be game over.
- [Gregor] Jesus Christ.
333
00:18:59,234 --> 00:19:00,696
[Kash] I know. I don't want that.
334
00:19:00,780 --> 00:19:02,992
But I'm not leaving here
till I've saved something.
335
00:19:04,328 --> 00:19:06,290
It sounds like you do have something
to save, mate.
336
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:11,300
Hey, Kash. This is stupid.
337
00:19:11,383 --> 00:19:13,597
Somewhere in this building,
criminals are doing something criminal,
338
00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:15,518
and here we are, arguing in a cupboard.
339
00:19:16,352 --> 00:19:19,107
Who's stepping aside? You or me?
340
00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:30,255
[classical music playing on phone]
341
00:19:36,141 --> 00:19:39,649
[Charles] I'm getting black cherry.
Plum, perhaps.
342
00:19:39,732 --> 00:19:43,114
[Carrie] Should we be cheeky
and open the Merlot?
343
00:19:43,197 --> 00:19:48,040
[Charles] I thought you said you had
an engagement with your beau. Hmm?
344
00:19:49,794 --> 00:19:51,631
[Carrie] He was never gonna show up.
345
00:19:51,715 --> 00:19:53,342
[Charles] He's a fool.
346
00:20:00,315 --> 00:20:03,154
[Charles] Perhaps it's not meant to be.
347
00:20:03,237 --> 00:20:06,661
[Carrie] No, no, it is.
We've been together since university.
348
00:20:06,745 --> 00:20:09,626
[Charles] He seems as familiar to you
as an old coat.
349
00:20:11,045 --> 00:20:13,884
Just because something is well-worn
350
00:20:13,967 --> 00:20:18,476
doesn't necessarily mean
it is well-fitting. Hmm?
351
00:20:21,273 --> 00:20:24,446
[Jen] Come on. Please. I need you.
352
00:20:24,530 --> 00:20:25,741
I need you you.
353
00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:29,164
If you were here,
you'd know the right things to say.
354
00:20:31,001 --> 00:20:32,880
What am I talking about? No, you wouldn't.
355
00:20:33,548 --> 00:20:36,470
You'd say something really weird,
and probably a little gross,
356
00:20:36,554 --> 00:20:39,602
but I think I'd quite like that right now.
357
00:20:41,397 --> 00:20:42,525
Let's just go home.
358
00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:44,862
Donna's right. We're never gonna win.
359
00:20:49,872 --> 00:20:52,377
I'm just gonna quickly
steal everything first.
360
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:02,022
[Jizzlord, on recorder]
If you're listening to this,
361
00:21:02,105 --> 00:21:03,900
I've taken the cat food.
362
00:21:03,984 --> 00:21:07,908
Don't try and argue with me.I want you to take me to the cat show.
363
00:21:07,992 --> 00:21:09,620
Oh, and scratch me behind the ears.
364
00:21:09,704 --> 00:21:10,873
I like that.
365
00:21:11,666 --> 00:21:15,883
Um, I didn't want to turnback into Hercule when you asked,
366
00:21:15,966 --> 00:21:20,141
because I really like my life now.
367
00:21:20,893 --> 00:21:22,855
I know I should be tryingto find out who I was,
368
00:21:22,938 --> 00:21:26,613
but I'd rather stay with you.
369
00:21:27,405 --> 00:21:31,497
I know what it's like to feel likesomething's missing from you.
370
00:21:31,581 --> 00:21:33,668
And I don't want you to feel that way.
371
00:21:33,752 --> 00:21:36,925
And you won't have tobecause we're gonna win.
372
00:21:37,008 --> 00:21:39,012
[sing-songy] Okay, bye.
373
00:21:39,096 --> 00:21:40,098
Uh, bye.
374
00:21:44,690 --> 00:21:49,534
♪ Hello, it's so good to see youWe met before, but nice to meet you ♪
375
00:21:49,617 --> 00:21:52,540
♪ Yeah, I don't really wanna be hereLike… ♪
376
00:21:52,623 --> 00:21:53,792
- [Ange, on phone] Jennifer?
- Ange.
377
00:21:53,875 --> 00:21:56,506
- [Ange] Do you know what time it is?
- Yeah, I know we're about to close.
378
00:21:56,589 --> 00:21:58,510
You know those costumes
that we were going to throw out
379
00:21:58,593 --> 00:22:00,179
because, legally, they were too flammable?
380
00:22:00,263 --> 00:22:01,933
[Ange] Yeah, the one with the sequins?
381
00:22:02,016 --> 00:22:03,310
Do we still have those?
382
00:22:04,479 --> 00:22:07,485
I think that's
probably enough wine. [hiccups]
383
00:22:08,989 --> 00:22:13,748
[Charles] I will not have
such treasonous language in my court.
384
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:19,510
[Carrie] I'm so sorry, Your Highness.
385
00:22:19,594 --> 00:22:24,812
[Charles] You ought to watch your tongue,
or I'll have you put over my knee.
386
00:22:45,938 --> 00:22:49,027
[Carrie] You wouldn't dare…
387
00:22:49,110 --> 00:22:50,404
- [Kash] Carrie!
- Kash?
388
00:22:53,035 --> 00:22:54,371
Kash?
389
00:22:55,666 --> 00:22:57,753
[panting] I'm here. And I'm done with it.
390
00:22:58,755 --> 00:23:00,132
All of it. I'm done with it.
391
00:23:00,216 --> 00:23:01,803
Oh.
392
00:23:12,616 --> 00:23:15,329
- What are you wearing?
- Uh…
393
00:23:17,292 --> 00:23:18,503
I like it.
394
00:23:20,882 --> 00:23:22,302
Shall we have this date?
395
00:23:22,385 --> 00:23:25,016
I should like that very much.
396
00:23:25,099 --> 00:23:26,018
Sick.
397
00:23:28,063 --> 00:23:29,274
What takeaway do you want?
398
00:23:30,902 --> 00:23:32,781
Now, I know we normally get pizza,
399
00:23:32,865 --> 00:23:35,912
but apparently, the Chinese
has started doing sweet potato wedges,
400
00:23:35,996 --> 00:23:38,918
which is like, I mean, game changer.
401
00:23:39,002 --> 00:23:40,087
That's insane.
402
00:23:42,509 --> 00:23:44,012
Oh, what TV do you wanna watch?
403
00:23:45,849 --> 00:23:46,851
No.
404
00:23:48,145 --> 00:23:50,066
Sorry, this is a really important night.
405
00:23:51,485 --> 00:23:52,821
Let's do a YouTube deep dive.
406
00:23:52,905 --> 00:23:55,159
I've been recommended
these skateboarding-accident compilations
407
00:23:55,242 --> 00:23:56,495
which are meant to be…
408
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:58,248
[kisses]
409
00:24:00,211 --> 00:24:01,380
Yeah?
410
00:24:01,463 --> 00:24:02,549
[Donna] Wonderful.
411
00:24:02,633 --> 00:24:05,137
Let's hear it for Frida Cat-lo.
412
00:24:05,221 --> 00:24:07,266
[clapping, cheering]
413
00:24:09,688 --> 00:24:11,108
You're up.
414
00:24:11,191 --> 00:24:13,530
Don't fuck it up.
415
00:24:18,247 --> 00:24:20,418
That prize money is ours.
416
00:24:21,629 --> 00:24:24,635
It's you and me. Ride or die.
417
00:24:25,302 --> 00:24:28,142
[Donna] Jennifer and Hercule!
418
00:24:31,314 --> 00:24:32,734
["Alone" playing on speakers]
419
00:24:36,074 --> 00:24:37,619
[audience member 1 laughs]
420
00:24:38,328 --> 00:24:39,582
[audience member 2 clears throat]
421
00:24:42,462 --> 00:24:46,094
♪ I hear the ticking of the clock ♪
422
00:24:46,178 --> 00:24:50,144
♪ I'm lying hereThe room's pitch dark ♪
423
00:24:50,770 --> 00:24:53,192
[laughing continues]
424
00:24:53,275 --> 00:24:56,574
[audience member 3]
Boo! What are you doing? Boo!
425
00:24:56,657 --> 00:25:00,749
♪ No answer on the telephone ♪
426
00:25:03,922 --> 00:25:08,222
♪ And the night goes bySo very slow ♪
427
00:25:09,015 --> 00:25:13,775
♪ And my love for youIs still unknown ♪
428
00:25:14,527 --> 00:25:17,365
♪ Alone ♪
429
00:25:21,456 --> 00:25:26,801
♪ Till nowI always got by on my own ♪
430
00:25:26,884 --> 00:25:32,186
♪ I never really caredUntil I met you ♪
431
00:25:33,146 --> 00:25:37,029
♪ And now it chills me to the bone ♪
432
00:25:37,113 --> 00:25:42,498
♪ How do I get you alone? ♪
433
00:25:42,583 --> 00:25:47,801
♪ How do I get you alone? ♪
434
00:25:54,523 --> 00:26:01,286
♪ Oh ♪
435
00:26:09,928 --> 00:26:14,437
♪ How do I get you alone? ♪
436
00:26:15,481 --> 00:26:20,074
♪ How do I get you alone? ♪
437
00:26:20,157 --> 00:26:27,046
♪ Alone ♪
438
00:26:28,633 --> 00:26:29,802
[crying]
439
00:26:29,885 --> 00:26:31,137
[audience member] My eyes!
440
00:26:33,308 --> 00:26:36,565
[crying continues]
441
00:26:38,945 --> 00:26:40,990
[music ends]
442
00:26:43,705 --> 00:26:44,707
No.
443
00:26:44,790 --> 00:26:45,792
Yeah, fair enough.
444
00:26:50,677 --> 00:26:51,846
- [YouTubers groan on laptop]
- [laughs]
445
00:26:51,929 --> 00:26:53,014
[crashes on laptop]
446
00:26:55,854 --> 00:26:57,273
[YouTuber 1] Yo, watch out. Watch out!
447
00:26:57,356 --> 00:26:58,609
- [crashes]
- [YouTuber 2 groans]
448
00:27:00,446 --> 00:27:01,448
You want some?
449
00:27:01,532 --> 00:27:02,993
["Always Forever" playing]
450
00:27:03,076 --> 00:27:04,287
[laughing] Oh, no.
451
00:27:04,997 --> 00:27:06,792
- [sighs] I've missed this.
- [YouTuber 1 shouting]
452
00:27:07,586 --> 00:27:09,088
It's nice getting back
to normal, isn't it?
453
00:27:12,637 --> 00:27:13,639
Isn't it?
454
00:27:15,602 --> 00:27:16,729
You're not saying anything.
455
00:27:16,812 --> 00:27:19,943
Oh, no. No!
456
00:27:23,241 --> 00:27:25,872
I'm sorry. I really messed it up.
You must be so mad at me.
457
00:27:25,955 --> 00:27:28,168
And now you don't have the money,
and so you're not going to--
458
00:27:28,251 --> 00:27:33,554
♪ You knowYou've got me in your pocket ♪
459
00:27:34,055 --> 00:27:39,065
♪ You don'tJust have to wait around ♪
460
00:27:39,983 --> 00:27:44,868
♪ You knowI keep you in my locket ♪
461
00:27:45,494 --> 00:27:49,210
♪ Just come hereAnd we can settle down ♪
462
00:27:49,293 --> 00:27:51,256
[siren wailing]
463
00:27:55,974 --> 00:27:58,436
["Alone" playing]
464
00:27:58,521 --> 00:28:04,448
♪ Till nowI always got by on my own ♪
465
00:28:04,533 --> 00:28:09,710
♪ I never really caredUntil I met you ♪
466
00:28:11,045 --> 00:28:14,468
♪ And now it chills me to the bone ♪
467
00:28:14,553 --> 00:28:19,730
♪ How do I get you alone? ♪
468
00:28:19,813 --> 00:28:26,785
♪ How do I get you alone? ♪
469
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:42,358
♪ Alone ♪
35809
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