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1
00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:13,430
Let's ride! Y'all
hear that beat?
2
00:00:14,550 --> 00:00:19,116
♪ Got my best boots on, smile on my
face can't believe we're from this place ♪
3
00:00:19,140 --> 00:00:23,246
♪ thirteenth biggest in the state
can a town be a soulmate? ♪
4
00:00:23,270 --> 00:00:27,376
♪ East exchange Avenue
steers in my rear-view ♪
5
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:31,586
♪ gonna hit what usa today
calls the second-best zoo ♪
6
00:00:31,610 --> 00:00:36,046
♪ 'cause cowtown is a wow
town with a walkable downtown ♪
7
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:39,830
♪ it's time to tap
into your fort worth ♪
8
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,200
♪ worth! Worth! Worth! ♪
9
00:00:44,620 --> 00:00:48,476
Move over,
margaritaville and Africa.
10
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:51,590
There's a new place
with a song about it.
11
00:00:52,340 --> 00:00:53,486
Here!
12
00:00:53,510 --> 00:00:55,446
Fort worth, baby!
13
00:00:55,470 --> 00:00:56,526
Yes!
14
00:00:56,550 --> 00:01:00,286
So, what's your connection to
fort worth? Are y'all from Texas?
15
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,196
What's Mariah Carey's
connection to Christmas?
16
00:01:02,220 --> 00:01:04,206
She's not from Christmas.
17
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:08,666
But of course, this is just the first
stop on girls5eva's returnity world tour.
18
00:01:08,690 --> 00:01:10,876
We'll be adding more
cities as we book them.
19
00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:12,086
No more questions.
20
00:01:12,110 --> 00:01:14,546
- ♪ It's got no hipsters ♪
- ♪ like Austin ♪
21
00:01:14,570 --> 00:01:16,836
- ♪ or wahlbergs ♪
- ♪ like Boston ♪
22
00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:18,846
- ♪ or tech bros ♪
- ♪ like Austin ♪
23
00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:21,136
- ♪ or afflecks ♪
- ♪ like Boston ♪
24
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:25,476
So, dawn, you're a mom
and a singer and Italian,
25
00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:27,500
so lots of emotions there.
26
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:31,566
How's it been being back on
the road after all these years?
27
00:01:31,590 --> 00:01:34,260
- Well, obviously, I miss my family.
- Mm.
28
00:01:35,010 --> 00:01:38,316
Uh, actually, this is the first
time I've been away from them
29
00:01:38,340 --> 00:01:41,446
since I got trapped for a weekend
in a marshalls bathroom stall.
30
00:01:41,470 --> 00:01:45,206
Thank you for asking. I'm
gay and looking, fort worth.
31
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,956
Hello. On our last tour, I
was so deep in the closet,
32
00:01:47,980 --> 00:01:51,746
I was behind the fireproof box
where you put birth certificates.
33
00:01:51,770 --> 00:01:53,126
Not anymore.
34
00:01:53,150 --> 00:01:54,876
♪ Some say Omaha
zoo is second best ♪
35
00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:59,676
♪ but that's a lie because their
red panda is always inside ♪
36
00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:02,846
♪ it's never out on the tree ♪
37
00:02:02,870 --> 00:02:06,806
This tour is gonna be amazing,
and no one's gonna ruin it.
38
00:02:06,830 --> 00:02:09,500
Definitely not me.
39
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:11,630
Yes.
40
00:02:13,710 --> 00:02:15,510
What...? What's that about?
41
00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:17,880
Jesus, summer, it's 6 A.M.
42
00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:23,826
♪ Gonna be famous 5eva
'cause 4eva's too short ♪
43
00:02:23,850 --> 00:02:25,246
♪ it's too short ♪
44
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:31,480
♪ gonna be famous 3-gether
'cause that's one more than 2-gether ♪
45
00:02:32,230 --> 00:02:38,216
♪ gonna be famous 5eva
'cause 4eva's too short ♪
46
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:40,796
♪ so, what are
you waiting five? ♪
47
00:02:40,820 --> 00:02:45,200
♪ Girls5eva ♪
48
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,936
- Yo! What's up, virgins?
- Ooh, hi!
49
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,726
First walk of shame
on the books. Ha, ha!
50
00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:58,186
- Good for you, rock star!
- Yeah.
51
00:02:58,210 --> 00:03:02,366
I'm just gonna check off
"pre-friends courteney Cox type"
52
00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:03,930
off the old spreadsheet.
53
00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:08,116
"The 178 types of women."
54
00:03:08,140 --> 00:03:10,706
That's the spreadsheet you
were working on in the Van?
55
00:03:10,730 --> 00:03:12,536
- Yeah.
- Thought you were doing your taxes.
56
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,666
I'm trying to make
up for lost time here.
57
00:03:14,690 --> 00:03:17,046
Before last night, I had
only been with one woman.
58
00:03:17,070 --> 00:03:21,376
- Well, my night was pretty great too.
- Ooh.
59
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,046
I slept like a baby, and
my dreams had zero bees.
60
00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:27,266
Wow. Look at us, just all
hanging out, best friends.
61
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:29,516
No one's saying anything wrong.
62
00:03:29,540 --> 00:03:31,306
It'd be great at tcu.
63
00:03:31,330 --> 00:03:33,896
Girls5eva's been invited to lead
the steer walk to the stockyards.
64
00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:34,807
Yes.
65
00:03:34,831 --> 00:03:37,186
Texas motor speedway wants
y'all to wave the checkered flag.
66
00:03:37,210 --> 00:03:38,606
It's checkered
due to its history.
67
00:03:38,630 --> 00:03:39,986
- It's the confederate flag.
- Pass.
68
00:03:40,010 --> 00:03:42,696
And the fort worth hard rock has
requested some g5e memorabilia.
69
00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:43,720
Here.
70
00:03:46,930 --> 00:03:47,907
Yeah.
71
00:03:47,931 --> 00:03:50,956
It's "ew, gross" by Isaac
Mizrahi. For the plaque.
72
00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:53,456
And next week the fort worth
mayor would love for you guys
73
00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:56,036
to cut the ribbon on a
new on-ramp on i-35.
74
00:03:56,060 --> 00:03:56,957
- Ooh!
- Aw.
75
00:03:56,981 --> 00:03:59,416
An Honor, but we won't
be in fowo next week.
76
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,836
We have juiced this pig.
New saying. Where to next?
77
00:04:02,860 --> 00:04:05,086
Dawn, did you follow
up on those leads I sent?
78
00:04:05,110 --> 00:04:07,176
You mean the
website for red rocks
79
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,306
and the Wikipedia page
for radio city music hall?
80
00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:12,766
And that article about how Moby
has finally done enough yoga
81
00:04:12,790 --> 00:04:14,976
to reach his own
dick, so he quit music.
82
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,396
Maybe we could swoop in
and take some of his dates.
83
00:04:17,420 --> 00:04:21,186
- Right. Well, I've been busy.
- With what? This?
84
00:04:21,210 --> 00:04:22,606
No, hey, I'm not done!
85
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:25,366
Time on the clock, slats on
the chair, bird has one wing,
86
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:28,616
house has no chimney, double
green in the rainbow, come on!
87
00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:32,156
I need you to be the dawn.
Details, legwork, booking.
88
00:04:32,180 --> 00:04:34,956
- I found her.
- Found who? What are you doing?
89
00:04:34,980 --> 00:04:36,916
I was just looking up
last night's bang on insta.
90
00:04:36,940 --> 00:04:39,126
- Why are you looking up a one-night stand?
- Oh!
91
00:04:39,150 --> 00:04:42,376
Did she steal your wigs and
medication? Kev did that our first night.
92
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:44,296
Nah! She had just
an early meeting,
93
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,716
and I was just seeing if
that ho-bag made it on time.
94
00:04:46,740 --> 00:04:49,886
The only ho-bags you
should be focusing on are us!
95
00:04:49,910 --> 00:04:53,686
Let's go! Tour mode!
Vroom-vroom, beep-beep!
96
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,330
Ah!
97
00:04:55,920 --> 00:05:00,526
I don't know if we need to
rush out of fort worth so soon.
98
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,396
I mean, we could sell
out for weeks if we wanted.
99
00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:06,906
But all crowds want to hear
is "tap into your fort worth,"
100
00:05:06,930 --> 00:05:10,696
and we're staying in a
marriott divorced dad suitelets.
101
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:13,446
That one's luggage
is a garbage bag.
102
00:05:13,470 --> 00:05:18,206
Yeah, well, you're staying here for free,
thanks to my credit-card reward points.
103
00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:21,836
The vending machine is filled
with wrapped kids' birthday presents.
104
00:05:21,860 --> 00:05:24,626
Oh, shit. Thank you for
reminding me. Is today the 28th?
105
00:05:24,650 --> 00:05:26,716
It's the fifth!
106
00:05:26,740 --> 00:05:28,886
All I'm saying is that we
came here with no plan
107
00:05:28,910 --> 00:05:31,596
and maybe this is the
perfect place to make one.
108
00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:34,636
You know, get our act
together, incubate the show.
109
00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:38,856
Didn't you feel like yesternights
got pushed out before it was ready?
110
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:42,476
Mm, my solo album.
Hmm. Maybe a little.
111
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:47,276
♪ Wishing you
could be my knight ♪
112
00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:50,366
♪ but you're only in my ♪
113
00:05:50,390 --> 00:05:54,536
♪ yesternights ♪
114
00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:58,036
♪ of night ♪
115
00:05:58,060 --> 00:06:00,746
♪ oh, yeah ♪
116
00:06:00,770 --> 00:06:05,376
♪ third verse, mm, in progress ♪
117
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:10,780
♪ mm, vamping, ooh, vamping ♪
118
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:12,950
♪ lonely nights ♪
119
00:06:13,530 --> 00:06:15,096
The label wanted it out in time
120
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,750
to be playing in the background
of a breckin meyer sex tape.
121
00:06:21,540 --> 00:06:22,670
Fine.
122
00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:25,920
We'll stay in fort worth
until we get our act together.
123
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,906
Does b3 seem like something a
13- or 14-year-old would want?
124
00:06:30,930 --> 00:06:31,930
No!
125
00:06:32,470 --> 00:06:33,470
Try e9.
126
00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:39,350
- Aw, her mom is cute.
- You see this?
127
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:43,610
I've read eight pages of
a book. I have downtime.
128
00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:47,086
What else should I do? I can't
drink 'cause I'm pregnant, so...
129
00:06:47,110 --> 00:06:49,030
Ooh! I'm gonna take a...
130
00:06:50,030 --> 00:06:52,886
It's like a toilet. Long, it's
hot. You get in it, you like it.
131
00:06:52,910 --> 00:06:56,490
- Are you trying to say "bath"?
- Yes! Thank you.
132
00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:00,186
Hey, it's Irene. You
know what to do.
133
00:07:00,210 --> 00:07:01,726
Irene.
134
00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:05,186
Yeah, this is Gloria from sex.
I'm leaving a message again.
135
00:07:05,210 --> 00:07:07,316
Yeah, I was just checking
in on your big meeting,
136
00:07:07,340 --> 00:07:09,470
how it went, etcetera, etcetera.
137
00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:14,140
Yeah, just call me back if you
want. Whatevs, dot caszh. Okay.
138
00:07:15,470 --> 00:07:16,970
Now you're calling this woman?
139
00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:19,326
Are you sure this was
just a one-night stand?
140
00:07:19,350 --> 00:07:20,576
Of course!
141
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:23,376
It's just your standard
"wham, bam, thank you, ma'am,
142
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,586
did you get to your
early meeting, ma'am?"
143
00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:27,666
Gloria, it's okay
if you want more.
144
00:07:27,690 --> 00:07:30,650
I don't. I just want to
know about the meeting.
145
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:36,306
Okay, that night I was with
John Mayer... Garbage dick.
146
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:39,330
...he told me that he had
a 2 A.M. guitar meeting.
147
00:07:41,290 --> 00:07:44,686
So I think maybe the
meeting is... is still going on.
148
00:07:44,710 --> 00:07:47,526
And long meetings are
where the deals are made,
149
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,436
so I should send her something.
150
00:07:49,460 --> 00:07:52,196
Wonder if they make balloons that
say "congrats on your long meeting"?
151
00:07:52,220 --> 00:07:53,380
You know what?
152
00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:56,156
Gloria, you do you.
153
00:07:56,180 --> 00:07:59,640
I'm gonna go take a bath.
154
00:08:02,390 --> 00:08:04,060
In a stand-up shower.
155
00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:10,530
Everyone fucked John Mayer.
156
00:08:15,570 --> 00:08:18,256
Sorry, guys, I got stuck at
the steer walk, signing cows.
157
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,740
Now, ladies.
158
00:08:20,450 --> 00:08:25,096
It's just me. Hi. I thought we were
all meeting early to work on our set.
159
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:27,816
I was all ready to go
and no one ever came.
160
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,590
Five, six, seven, eight...
161
00:08:31,590 --> 00:08:36,656
Nine, 10, 11, 12... 13...
162
00:08:36,680 --> 00:08:40,260
I stopped when I ran out of
numbers. Did the plan change?
163
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,020
Oh, usually someone
else responds to you.
164
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,996
Is this the first time you and I
have ever been alone together?
165
00:08:50,020 --> 00:08:50,957
Feels like it, but no.
166
00:08:50,981 --> 00:08:53,400
There was one other
time. October 28th, 2001.
167
00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:55,820
Okay, stalker.
168
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,080
So sorry. Little problem.
169
00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:03,386
I snuck in a bath after the steer
walk and I used too much moisturizer,
170
00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:06,346
so I couldn't open the door, so
I put eyelash glue on my hands.
171
00:09:06,370 --> 00:09:08,016
Now I can't get my hands apart.
172
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:09,686
Dawn, no.
173
00:09:09,710 --> 00:09:11,146
Sorry I'm late.
174
00:09:11,170 --> 00:09:14,856
I had to put a little cheese
in the rat trap for hookup two.
175
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:19,076
Dawn, it's gonna be no strings. If
I was a tampon, I'd be lost forever.
176
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:22,496
You know what else is lost?
Us, 'cause we didn't rehearse.
177
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,246
- You're up, girls5eva.
- Okay, let me pee on your hands.
178
00:09:25,270 --> 00:09:27,326
- That's jellyfish.
- Jellyfish!
179
00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:29,996
Let's hear it for the best
thing to happen to fort worth.
180
00:09:30,020 --> 00:09:32,376
This hair is heavy. I
might not be able to dance.
181
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:35,006
Girls5eva!
182
00:09:35,030 --> 00:09:36,716
Here, take some of my face.
183
00:09:36,740 --> 00:09:39,216
- Is there choreography?
- Is there a set list?
184
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,556
I don't want to yesternights
us. It wasn't ready.
185
00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:44,806
♪ All night ♪
186
00:09:44,830 --> 00:09:46,186
I said don't turn around!
187
00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:49,266
We'll get our shit together and
work on the full act tomorrow,
188
00:09:49,290 --> 00:09:51,936
practice our other
songs, choreo, everything.
189
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:54,566
Okay, we'll get our
act together tomorrow.
190
00:09:54,590 --> 00:09:56,856
Right, but tonight
we'll just do...
191
00:09:56,880 --> 00:10:00,986
♪ The home of hagman and
meester capshaw and schieffer ♪
192
00:10:01,010 --> 00:10:02,446
♪ capshaw and schieffer ♪
193
00:10:02,470 --> 00:10:05,850
♪ tap into your fort worth ♪
194
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,360
They ate us up!
195
00:10:18,860 --> 00:10:22,676
I haven't gotten that level of applause
since I agreed to leave an airplane.
196
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:25,096
Did you see me crowd-surf
that pack of ladies?
197
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,636
- Yeah, you did it face-down?
- I did it face-down.
198
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:29,476
Girls5eva!
199
00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:30,606
Oh!
200
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,316
Bootsy's in the building.
201
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:35,276
- Hey, bootsy!
- What the hell's with the pillows?
202
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:37,446
My Jordans are too
expensive to touch the ground.
203
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,156
Kim jong-UN hit a
hole-in-one on the sun in these.
204
00:10:40,180 --> 00:10:43,300
- Oh.
- Uh, could y'all just, uh, come to me?
205
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:47,390
Somebody didn't bring enough
pillows. Jason, you're fired!
206
00:10:49,060 --> 00:10:50,496
Well, great show.
207
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:53,496
What was that, a 40-minute
version of your fort worth song?
208
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:54,996
It was mostly improv.
209
00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:57,336
At one point, it sounded like
you were just naming streets.
210
00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:00,586
- And reading sports hats.
- I just did Wikipedia.
211
00:11:00,610 --> 00:11:06,636
♪ Fort worth is the birthplace of
multiple serial killers, including... ♪
212
00:11:06,660 --> 00:11:07,870
Oh, he's bad.
213
00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:11,726
Fuck Dallas!
214
00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:13,806
- Fuck Dallas!
- Fuck Dallas!
215
00:11:13,830 --> 00:11:16,896
Y'all must be loving fort worth.
216
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:19,856
- Love it.
- They can't get enough of y'all down here.
217
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,906
That must feel damn good
after so many years of rejection.
218
00:11:22,930 --> 00:11:27,156
Y'all got mad
groupies down here,
219
00:11:27,180 --> 00:11:29,850
looking to clown
down in cowtown, right?
220
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:33,876
Yeah. And look at you all
happy and getting along.
221
00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:37,836
But if it's a different city every
night, it is a pressure cooker.
222
00:11:37,860 --> 00:11:42,660
And if one person says the
wrong thing, poof! Bye-bye, group.
223
00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:46,176
And touring is so hard.
224
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:48,016
Zero downtime.
225
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:51,136
It's like managing a
restaurant or raising a kid.
226
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:52,516
Or maybe both.
227
00:11:52,540 --> 00:11:57,266
Who knows? Yeah, these are weird
examples. Anyway, I'm pretty high.
228
00:11:57,290 --> 00:11:58,316
Uh...
229
00:11:58,340 --> 00:12:00,970
I think you'd be smart to stay
here just as long as you can.
230
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:08,156
Are you the purse I left on
the ground at the steer walk?
231
00:12:08,180 --> 00:12:10,406
Because you
are full of bullshit.
232
00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:13,076
Yeah, fort worth
is just our first stop.
233
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:17,916
Yeah, we are working on our
full act, starting tomorrow, so...
234
00:12:17,940 --> 00:12:21,336
- Yeah, so why don't you...
- No, no, no.
235
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:26,886
...get your wrong-ass
observations the fuck out of here?
236
00:12:26,910 --> 00:12:28,346
Well, that was dumb.
237
00:12:28,370 --> 00:12:30,386
You want me to leave, but
now I have nowhere to go!
238
00:12:30,410 --> 00:12:32,016
Where I'm gonna
go? There's no pillows.
239
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:34,516
Then stay there and
we'll go. Come on.
240
00:12:34,540 --> 00:12:36,856
Bye.
241
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:38,090
Jason?
242
00:12:40,630 --> 00:12:43,010
Decisions, decisions.
What am I getting? Ah!
243
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:48,486
- Hey.
- I forgot today was my birthday, so...
244
00:12:48,510 --> 00:12:51,536
- Percy, can I ask you something?
- Sure. I get this a lot.
245
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:53,576
Yes, my face is a
popular Halloween mask.
246
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,900
But unfortunately, I
don't see a dime from it.
247
00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:02,336
No, I mean... this tour
is going well so far, right?
248
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:05,506
I think so, but I'm not
great with social cues.
249
00:13:05,530 --> 00:13:08,636
In movies, I always think christoph
waltz is the good guy because he's smiling.
250
00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:10,910
I'm just nervous because...
251
00:13:11,990 --> 00:13:14,790
- The last time I was alone...
- With wickie,
252
00:13:15,370 --> 00:13:19,186
I accidentally convinced
her to leave the group.
253
00:13:19,210 --> 00:13:22,526
But I was alone with her
again tonight and I didn't,
254
00:13:22,550 --> 00:13:26,090
so that's good, right?
255
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:28,640
Yeah.
256
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,940
"Magic: The gathering"?
Mm-mm. Too scary!
257
00:13:39,940 --> 00:13:42,836
So it's Max's night with the
class hamster, but he lost it.
258
00:13:42,860 --> 00:13:43,956
Uh-huh.
259
00:13:43,980 --> 00:13:45,756
Ooh. Cow yoga.
260
00:13:45,780 --> 00:13:47,836
- What?
- Hamsters. I was listening.
261
00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:50,096
Oh, hey, can I watch the
new the crown without you?
262
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:53,306
Those dicks in the English department
don't know the meaning of "spoiler."
263
00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:55,306
There's a new the crown?
Love you. Miss you. Bye.
264
00:13:55,330 --> 00:13:56,436
Okay, bye...
265
00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:59,540
Dawn! Look who's on to
the next hunk-a-strange.
266
00:14:01,460 --> 00:14:04,276
I told you I wasn't
hung up on that last gal.
267
00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:05,896
I'm being super
caszh about this,
268
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:09,760
so don't bother getting to know this
one 'cause you'll never see her again.
269
00:14:10,470 --> 00:14:12,076
This is really easy for me.
270
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:15,270
- Cool cool. You two have fun.
- Don't memorize her face!
271
00:14:16,180 --> 00:14:17,576
There's a new the crown.
272
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,916
Oh, my god, we're
above the fold? Ha!
273
00:14:20,940 --> 00:14:24,416
Have fun below the fold,
"silo explosion kills field trip."
274
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:27,216
Please! You're never
gonna leave this place.
275
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:30,296
Yes, I am. I'm looking
at a house tomorrow.
276
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:33,056
Come on, Tyler. I just need a little
more time to get my act together.
277
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,926
Oh, my god, dad,
stop lying to yourself!
278
00:14:35,950 --> 00:14:38,936
Excuse me. He's gonna
get his act together.
279
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:43,686
Give your father time, Tyler.
He's looking at a house tomorrow.
280
00:14:43,710 --> 00:14:47,436
He's been here for six years,
lady. Unlike my mom's boyfriend.
281
00:14:47,460 --> 00:14:50,526
He just bought his second party
bus for his party-bus business.
282
00:14:50,550 --> 00:14:52,156
Greg is taking big swings.
283
00:14:52,180 --> 00:14:55,536
Lay off him. The divorce is
probably something you did, Tyler.
284
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:59,206
No, he's right. I'm just scared,
and this place is comfortable.
285
00:14:59,230 --> 00:15:02,860
I don't want to be dramatic,
but I'll probably die here.
286
00:15:06,110 --> 00:15:07,110
Oh, god.
287
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,836
Welcome to windsor
castle, admiral.
288
00:15:11,860 --> 00:15:15,386
Everyone, this is the admiral.
289
00:15:15,410 --> 00:15:17,846
Admiral, why, this is everyone.
290
00:15:17,870 --> 00:15:21,976
Tubby bear, ducks, plumpo
needs no introduction.
291
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,566
Hugsy rabbit,
Jeremy, lord froggy...
292
00:15:25,590 --> 00:15:28,396
Dawn, we're gonna
die in fort worth!
293
00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:31,156
Shh! I'm watching the new
crown. They're in the aughts now.
294
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:35,236
Not as much drama since Diana died,
but prince Andrew has 72 stuffed animals.
295
00:15:35,260 --> 00:15:37,326
It's the least upsetting
thing about him.
296
00:15:37,350 --> 00:15:39,406
Dr. and Mrs. Hippo.
297
00:15:39,430 --> 00:15:41,706
That pillow's name
is daddy, of course.
298
00:15:41,730 --> 00:15:43,706
Sebastian the hound...
299
00:15:43,730 --> 00:15:46,546
Stinker was right. We
are never gonna leave.
300
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:50,296
- We're figuring it out. We're leaving.
- When? Tomorrow?
301
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,296
We are lying to ourselves.
302
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:55,756
It'll always be tomorrow
because we love it here.
303
00:15:55,780 --> 00:15:57,370
But it's a trap, dawn!
304
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:01,936
You know what hagman and meester,
capshaw and schieffer all had in common?
305
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,146
- They were born here.
- And they left.
306
00:16:04,170 --> 00:16:06,936
That's the only reason
we all know their names.
307
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:10,316
Yet I can't stop zillow-surfing
houses in rivercrest.
308
00:16:10,340 --> 00:16:13,776
This one has five bedrooms for the
lunch lord and his son, or whatever.
309
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:14,816
This bathtub reminds me,
310
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,736
I bet I could watch the crown from
the tub with a system of mirrors.
311
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:18,760
Stop it.
312
00:16:19,350 --> 00:16:21,456
I need you to make us leave!
313
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,576
Wrangle, do e-mails,
calls! The dawn jobs!
314
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:27,666
Just stop acting like
you're on vacation.
315
00:16:27,690 --> 00:16:31,916
Leave me alone! I haven't
had a break in, like, 20 years!
316
00:16:31,940 --> 00:16:35,386
I just need a little
more time, baby.
317
00:16:35,410 --> 00:16:39,466
Just one more bath
and then I'll help.
318
00:16:39,490 --> 00:16:41,200
Oh, my god.
319
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:44,830
I don't know who you are.
320
00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:53,316
Angus, why is lieutenant
fussbottom next to Glen?
321
00:16:53,340 --> 00:16:54,566
They're in a fight.
322
00:16:54,590 --> 00:16:58,366
I suppose I update the stuffie
map for my own amusement, then?
323
00:16:58,390 --> 00:16:59,736
Summer!
324
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:02,406
- You're in charge.
- What? No!
325
00:17:02,430 --> 00:17:05,866
I need you to be the dawn. I can't
do it. It would wreck my posture.
326
00:17:05,890 --> 00:17:08,560
- What about Gloria?
- You think I didn't try that?
327
00:17:10,570 --> 00:17:12,690
- Gloria.
- Mm. Mm!
328
00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:14,966
Mm!
329
00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:19,030
We have to get out of fort worth,
and I have no one else to turn to.
330
00:17:19,740 --> 00:17:21,266
- Okay.
- Okay.
331
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:22,976
I can try and be dawn.
332
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,266
Chris Pratt played Mario.
There's no rules when it's Italians.
333
00:17:26,290 --> 00:17:30,516
It's just, being alone with
you makes me really nervous.
334
00:17:30,540 --> 00:17:33,816
- We've never been alone together.
- We have. Twice.
335
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,776
- Earlier tonight.
- I don't think so.
336
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,050
And October 28th, 2001.
337
00:17:40,970 --> 00:17:42,116
Wickie?
338
00:17:42,140 --> 00:17:45,706
Rob Schneider doesn't want to be in
our video, so that's a no from everyone.
339
00:17:45,730 --> 00:17:50,086
- We're over!
- Hey, no, it's not over.
340
00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:51,706
We're mid-tour! Mid!
341
00:17:51,730 --> 00:17:55,256
Ugh. Please, you can't deny
our front rows are getting uglier.
342
00:17:55,280 --> 00:18:01,176
Hey, hey, we are gonna be
okay because we have you.
343
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:02,926
I mean, you've got it all.
344
00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:07,790
You've got the looks and the voice,
and you're engaged to Phil spector.
345
00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:11,816
All you have to do
is just be wickie Roy.
346
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,106
Huh.
347
00:18:13,130 --> 00:18:14,186
I do have it all.
348
00:18:14,210 --> 00:18:19,406
You're our Beyoncé,
our Gwen Stefani.
349
00:18:19,430 --> 00:18:21,486
Uh, you're our Timberlake.
350
00:18:21,510 --> 00:18:25,116
All people who are being held back
by the groups they're currently in.
351
00:18:25,140 --> 00:18:27,076
- Yeah.
- If only they had the courage
352
00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:29,206
to do what I'm about to do.
353
00:18:29,230 --> 00:18:31,166
- Ooh, what's that?
- I'm wickie Roy.
354
00:18:31,190 --> 00:18:32,956
- Yeah.
- I take big swings.
355
00:18:32,980 --> 00:18:35,126
- Sure.
- I'm going solo!
356
00:18:35,150 --> 00:18:37,546
What? No, wickie!
357
00:18:37,570 --> 00:18:41,716
- No, that's not what I... this isn't...
- Holy... bye!
358
00:18:41,740 --> 00:18:45,120
- You understand that this time I don't...
- Say no more.
359
00:18:45,870 --> 00:18:49,460
You were right then
and you are right now.
360
00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:52,920
I just need to be wickie Roy!
361
00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:56,250
No!
362
00:18:58,590 --> 00:19:01,486
- Well, that was fun.
- It sure was.
363
00:19:01,510 --> 00:19:04,986
And now it's over. Cool. Good.
364
00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:07,696
- Bye forever. Real quick.
- Glad we're on the same page.
365
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:11,326
While you slept, I wrote a song
and it's called "no strings attached."
366
00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:16,296
♪ One night they said
no strings attached ♪
367
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:21,136
♪ but in that night two
souls were matched ♪
368
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:25,926
♪ goodbye was more
than they could bear ♪
369
00:19:25,950 --> 00:19:30,226
♪ then a wizard told them
it's always night somewhere ♪
370
00:19:30,250 --> 00:19:34,686
♪ so they chase the
moon on an airplane ♪
371
00:19:34,710 --> 00:19:40,526
♪ powered by love ♪
372
00:19:40,550 --> 00:19:42,906
♪ around the world
a million times ♪
373
00:19:42,930 --> 00:19:47,656
♪ a morning that never came
until the coroner said to the wizard ♪
374
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:51,166
♪ time of death,
the same, no... ♪
375
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,536
Okay. Uh, Linda, right?
376
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:54,746
It's Gloria.
377
00:19:54,770 --> 00:19:58,006
You're awesome, but I think
we might want different things.
378
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:02,376
Nah, bish, you heard
the song. No strings!
379
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,926
And when did the
coroner board the plane?
380
00:20:04,950 --> 00:20:06,886
- Let me catch up.
- No, I don't care.
381
00:20:06,910 --> 00:20:10,700
- Uh, I have an early meeting.
- Cool. No probs.
382
00:20:11,370 --> 00:20:13,556
I love you! Nah.
383
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:14,806
Prank.
384
00:20:14,830 --> 00:20:17,170
Let me draw you! Not.
385
00:20:25,340 --> 00:20:27,260
Mm. That's nice.
386
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,456
You were right.
387
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,706
I'm incapable of the
string-less lifestyle.
388
00:20:34,730 --> 00:20:37,666
- I'm all string.
- Yeah, you're kind of an attacher.
389
00:20:37,690 --> 00:20:39,610
Didn't you marry Caroline
after the second date?
390
00:20:40,650 --> 00:20:45,176
We went straight from paintball.
I imprint like an emperor penguin.
391
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,546
So how am I gonna sow my oats?
392
00:20:47,570 --> 00:20:50,346
Okay, on the new the
crown, prince Andrew...
393
00:20:50,370 --> 00:20:51,267
- Ew.
- Hear me out.
394
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:53,936
- Has 72 stuffed animals.
- Gross.
395
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:57,686
And every night, he chooses
one to be lord cuddles.
396
00:20:57,710 --> 00:21:00,776
And then every morning, he
really struggles to say goodbye.
397
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:02,566
I love you. Prank!
398
00:21:02,590 --> 00:21:04,696
Let me draw you. Not!
399
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:08,116
But he does it. It's
weird, but he does it.
400
00:21:08,140 --> 00:21:11,156
And then he moves
on to the next cuddle.
401
00:21:11,180 --> 00:21:15,036
Okay, maybe I could
still make up for lost time
402
00:21:15,060 --> 00:21:19,336
if I just treated every hookup
like an intense mini-relationship.
403
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:23,990
Like every one-night stand, I'd
be living the first two minutes of up.
404
00:21:24,570 --> 00:21:28,200
So Meg and I are over,
405
00:21:29,570 --> 00:21:31,540
and I miss her so much.
406
00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:36,210
And I'm moving ahead.
407
00:21:37,210 --> 00:21:40,356
Hey, what's up? Who's
gonna ride the pony tonight?
408
00:21:40,380 --> 00:21:41,816
Yes.
409
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:47,106
- You guys, I did something so bad.
- Oh, what'd you tweet?
410
00:21:47,130 --> 00:21:50,276
- I made wickie quit the group again.
- Wait, what?
411
00:21:50,300 --> 00:21:56,310
- Again?
- Well, this is goodbye... What?
412
00:21:56,980 --> 00:21:58,126
To fort worth.
413
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,246
- We are out of here.
- We?
414
00:22:00,270 --> 00:22:01,336
Like, us?
415
00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:03,030
All of us? Summer too?
416
00:22:03,690 --> 00:22:06,876
I packed everyone's stuff,
but I was super respectful.
417
00:22:06,900 --> 00:22:08,926
I did zero sniffs.
418
00:22:08,950 --> 00:22:11,256
- Where are we going?
- The top, Gloria. Ever heard of it?
419
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,886
You see, summer helped
me realize something.
420
00:22:13,910 --> 00:22:16,266
- She did?
- I am wickie Roy.
421
00:22:16,290 --> 00:22:19,646
- I take big swings.
- Wickie, what did you do?
422
00:22:19,670 --> 00:22:22,066
What needed to be done
to make us leave fort worth.
423
00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:23,726
I took all the money
we made here
424
00:22:23,750 --> 00:22:26,896
and put a down payment on
a venue befitting a real tour.
425
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:30,906
Save the date, six months
from today, November 23rd,
426
00:22:30,930 --> 00:22:34,536
girls5eva is playing
radio city music hall.
427
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,076
- What?
- She's not quitting.
428
00:22:36,100 --> 00:22:38,576
- All of our money?
- Wait, what?
429
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,456
Isn't November
23rd Thanksgiving?
430
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:45,256
- That would explain why it was available.
- Radio city is huge.
431
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:46,466
What if we can't fill it?
432
00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:49,716
We owe tishman speyer
properties $570,000.
433
00:22:49,740 --> 00:22:51,596
Or they sue us to death.
434
00:22:51,620 --> 00:22:54,700
Consider our fire
lit. You're welcome.
435
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:59,160
Wow, y'all. Wow.
436
00:23:00,830 --> 00:23:02,170
Door open.
437
00:23:03,540 --> 00:23:04,540
Door open.
438
00:23:07,550 --> 00:23:10,776
And, admiral, this is
flopsy of warwickshire,
439
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:15,736
Bradford, Kingsley, Prescott,
brigadier general badger,
440
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:20,536
Remington, heathcliff, Orville
and his wife Helen of brae,
441
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:24,036
Evelyn, snuggly
bear, duchess frog.
442
00:23:24,060 --> 00:23:27,836
Hiding in the back, there's the
shy one, Sebastian the hound,
443
00:23:27,860 --> 00:23:32,836
foxy, Mr. Monster face,
Wendell, tinsley, tinsley, sr.,
444
00:23:32,860 --> 00:23:37,766
little tinsley, kanga Rodney,
owly, who's a vicar of course,
445
00:23:37,790 --> 00:23:42,396
beatrix otter, Alfie the possum
who was stripped of his rank,
446
00:23:42,420 --> 00:23:46,816
cheeky ol stout, esmerelda
the 12th, Godfrey, Jonathan,
447
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:52,406
major fluffy, captain patches, field
marshal bubbles, Duke cuddlebums,
448
00:23:52,430 --> 00:23:57,826
Anastasia, Samantha, whom I
loathe, Benjamin, hoppy, skippy,
449
00:23:57,850 --> 00:24:03,996
jumpy, jammies, Reginald,
dusty, tuft, Thomas pudding,
450
00:24:04,020 --> 00:24:06,336
buster bat, baron squishy,
451
00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:09,666
prime minister buttercup,
viscount quackers,
452
00:24:09,690 --> 00:24:14,426
reverend mobsy, spiky,
yellow bear, she's a goat,
453
00:24:14,450 --> 00:24:20,476
pudsey, sploosh the dolphin,
Gwendolyn of Hastings, plantain conchita,
454
00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:23,806
sister waddles, Ripley,
Alexandria of stroud,
455
00:24:23,830 --> 00:24:28,630
Daphne, Todd, lieutenant
fussbottom, and Glen.
36948
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