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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,400 TV: And so an object, moving faster than the speed of light... 2 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:06,440 SHE SNORTS 3 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:09,040 ..could theoretically go back in time. 4 00:00:09,040 --> 00:00:13,880 Imagine running so fast, you go back in time. 5 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,120 Brian's Cox. 6 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:16,920 Where would you go? 7 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:19,080 Where would you stop? 8 00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:20,400 And why? 9 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,120 Chi. 10 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:29,200 Chi! 11 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,200 Chi, why are you eating cat food? 12 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,360 Oh, hey, guys. Hey. 13 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:35,360 Why cat food? 14 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,760 You've gone out and bought that. Is that cat food? 15 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:41,040 Cos it says it support vital...vital health. 16 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,920 It also says you get a shiny coat. 17 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,440 Oh, no. Oh. 18 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,600 What the fuck is this? Eclipse. 19 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,360 Oh, no, we need to get this sorted. 20 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:54,480 Can you sort it, Chi? Come on. 21 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:56,760 TAPPING 22 00:00:56,760 --> 00:01:00,640 It's not working. Well... Whack it! ..or twist it. It's not working. 23 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:02,960 Twist it and push it. Bop it? 24 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:09,480 MUSIC: L'Amour Est Un Oiseau Rebelle from Carmen by Georges Bizet 25 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:19,200 GHOSTLY VOICE: Pay your bi-i-ills... 26 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:31,640 Ah. All right, Chi? No. Not really 27 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:32,840 Yeah, OK. 28 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,640 So, what's happened? Oh. 29 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:41,760 It's a long story, but basically my house has stopped working. 30 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:44,000 You know, the fridge, the kettle... Yeah. 31 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,880 ..microwave and the bath. 32 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:47,640 The bath? Yeah. Chi, that's terrible. 33 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:49,440 You should speak to your lawyer about that. 34 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:51,440 Yeah, that's a good point, actually, yeah. 35 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,800 But, in the meantime, I am going to have to stay here now. 36 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:55,960 Oh. Nice idea. I'm sure Karen won't mind. 37 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:58,520 Oh, no, she'll love that, cos we're just like this, aren't we? 38 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,160 You're like that. I've always said it, you're like that. Yeah. 39 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:04,000 Like...like two AirPods in a case. In a case, yeah. Yeah, exactly. 40 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,600 No, that's what I was thinking. 41 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,000 RHYTHMIC CREAKING 42 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,960 Apparently, Joe Biden is a character played by Jim Carrey. 43 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,960 What are you talking about? 44 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:13,360 Hollywood scams. 45 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,480 But I don't really want to talk about that right now 46 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,520 cos I'm trying to get pregnant, not brainwashed, 47 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,520 so can we just get a move on, please? 48 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:22,400 Sorry, it's just that you kind of reminded me of him 49 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,760 when you screwed your face up like that. I reminded you of him? 50 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:28,560 Yeah. Well, which one? 51 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:30,800 Well, who do you prefer? 52 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,440 Well, Jim Carrey probably. 53 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,320 Well, do you know how long we have to wait till they go yellow? 54 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:49,520 It's mad how they do it when no-one's looking. 55 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:51,680 Maybe if we turn around... Really? 56 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:53,360 ..face the other way. Yeah. Do that. 57 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,000 Oh! 58 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,000 DOORBELL RINGS 59 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,880 This is really what... I'll answer the door, 60 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,800 but you keep an eye on the bananas. All right. 61 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,520 Chi, I've got it. 62 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:13,680 Finally! Oh, who are you? 63 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:17,160 I need to take my tampon out. It's been up there for four days. 64 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:18,600 You smell amazing, by the way. 65 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,040 Oh, my God, thanks, babes. 66 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,520 Chanel Number Two. 67 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:26,120 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 68 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,080 Oh, still no en-suite, Dave? 69 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:31,120 Um, no. It's second door on the right. 70 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:34,240 OK. See you. See you. 71 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:37,160 Dave, was that your ex-wife? 72 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:38,640 Yeah, looked like her, didn't it? 73 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,440 Yeah, it did look like her, actually. Did you invite her? 74 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,880 No! What is she doing here? 75 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,120 Oh, that was such a relief to take that out. 76 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:49,320 I could actually feel the toxic shock syndrome kicking in. 77 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:51,480 Yeah, you don't want that again, no. 78 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,600 This is my new boyfriend, Chank. 79 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,720 Chank, this is my ex, David. 80 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:58,880 You know, the one that got away. Well... 81 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:00,960 The love of my life, 82 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:03,640 the sexiest man to ever live. 83 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,360 Who are you? I... 84 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:06,760 ..I'm just Chi. 85 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:09,160 Karen's...or Karen's niece to Karen. 86 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:10,520 I love your energy. I love you. 87 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:11,800 Oh, my God, hi. 88 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:14,800 And this is Kaz. 89 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,760 It's Karen. "It's Karen." 90 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:18,080 THEY LAUGH 91 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:19,480 I don't sound like that. 92 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:22,680 I just love how stiff you are, you're so funny! 93 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:26,000 God, it's like she's in the room with us. It is. 94 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,120 I am in the room with you. I'm right here. 95 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,280 So that's cool. Can you say something? 96 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,600 Mice to neet... 97 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:34,960 Nice to see... 98 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,000 Sorry. It's OK. Sh! 99 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,000 Do you want a cup of tea? 100 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,360 Yeah. You know me, I've always loved a boy toy. Yeah. 101 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:46,480 We met at a swingers party. Yeah. 102 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,520 Didn't actually realise what it was till I got there. 103 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,760 Yeah, that can happen. 104 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,000 Is it bringing back memories? 105 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,920 Lucas, Lucas. 106 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,840 Mum! Oh, my God. 107 00:04:56,840 --> 00:05:00,480 I haven't seen you in ages, how have you been? OK! 108 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,520 Why do I recognise him? 109 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,240 Well, cos he's your son, isn't he? 110 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:08,120 Lewis? Oh, my... 111 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:10,320 What are you, like, ten now? 112 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:13,520 Yeah. Sort of. Aw! 113 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:15,760 Completely forgot I had him. 114 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,040 Yeah. 115 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:20,120 Right, well, just skating over how completely awful that is, 116 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,200 what is it that you're actually doing here? 117 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,560 Cos I thought you'd moved to Spain? Space? 118 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:28,440 No, no, no. No, Margate, babes. Yeah, I moved about three years ago. 119 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,440 It's probably why you haven't seen me. 120 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:33,160 Yeah, well, that makes sense. Margate is five minutes up the road. 121 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,080 Why...why have you just turned up here now? 122 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,400 Cos she had to change her tampon. I know! I know! 123 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,200 I completely forgot about it. 124 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,760 That is so you, Mum. 125 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:47,400 This is great. It looks like we can just be a big huge family again. 126 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:48,720 You've only just met her. 127 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:51,040 Well, I wish she was my mother. 128 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:52,480 I can be your mother. 129 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,840 What, really? Yeah! Oh, my God. 130 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:58,640 Of course! Shall we go and get pissed later? 131 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:00,480 Oh, please, yeah. 132 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,880 Yeah, wow, such a good role model, isn't she? Role model. 133 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:04,840 That's on my list as well. Can you do that too? No! 134 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:08,400 If anyone's a role model here, a good role model, it's obviously me. 135 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:11,080 I'm the one that stepped up for your... 136 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,960 ..spangle son when you were, I don't know, 137 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,880 probably out in a skip doing meths somewhere. 138 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:21,360 You've already been such a good role model to me so far. 139 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,320 Yeah, and me. You've been incredible. 140 00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:25,440 Well, it's not all diamonds and rose. 141 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,440 I am in the middle of an ongoing lawsuit 142 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:28,760 with Thanet District Council. 143 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:30,760 But we are going celebrating later, aren't we? 144 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,560 We're going to go bowling! 145 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,400 You're celebrating a lawsuit? 146 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:37,160 Well, what else am I meant to do, cry? 147 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,640 That sounds like a lot of fun, Mum. Yeah, Mum. 148 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,240 Yeah. Yeah, it does sound fun, actually. Yeah, let's... 149 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,040 ..let's all go bowling. Let's go bowling. 150 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,240 You hate bowling. No, I love bowling. 151 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,880 You said that bowling was for toothless simpletons 152 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,280 and the homeless. 153 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,320 I fucking love bowling, Dave, all right? 154 00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:59,120 OK. Wow. 155 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:00,840 That's great, it's sorted, then. 156 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:04,240 "Spangle"? Yes. 157 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:08,920 ..2,064, 2,078, 2,051... 158 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,480 ..8,048, 8,049, 8,051 people. That's a lot of steps. 159 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,600 People? What were you counting? 160 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:14,960 Shall we go in? Yeah. 161 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:17,880 Oh. Why's no-one here? 162 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:19,480 Where's she gone? Hello? 163 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,680 Hello! Hello? 164 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,320 Yeah. It's us! 165 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:28,280 Who's that? BOTH: Us! 166 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:31,760 Do you want the door shut or closed? I don't know who that is, though. 167 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,520 Where's your front lady gone? Oh. 168 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:37,120 You know, the one that tells me that you're not here when you are? 169 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,440 I had to let her go. 170 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:41,280 OK. Well, anyway, why have you turned my house off? 171 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:42,720 What are you talking about? 172 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,240 The house you manage, the one she lives in. 173 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:46,400 Yeah, it's not well. No. 174 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,280 I don't manage your house, it's your house. 175 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:51,080 Why is it all dark and small? Have you not been your paying bills? 176 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:52,520 What do you mean, "small"? 177 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:55,400 Hold on, you can't give me something and expect me to pay for it. 178 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,080 No, you have to pay for things. 179 00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:59,000 I can barely afford to keep the lights on here. 180 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,600 Business is terrible. You're joking. Don't sit down. 181 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:04,880 No, sorry, no, you've got that wrong. That can't be right. 182 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:07,040 Yeah, no, he's got that wrong. Yeah, sorry, mate. 183 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:09,840 Well, that's life. So you're saying if you go under, 184 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:12,080 my lights will never come back on again. 185 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,560 No. What? How have you come to that? 186 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,640 I wish I could help, cos my new mum, she, er... My old mum. 187 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,000 ..she's actually going through a lawsuit at the minute 188 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,360 and I would suggest you meet her 189 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,960 but her parents aren't dead so it'd be a waste of time. 190 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,600 And it's a shame because I think she's loaded, too. Well, hold on. 191 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:28,120 I don't just deal with inheritance. 192 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:29,880 She sounds like a good potential client. 193 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:31,840 Yeah, she's...she's actually my mum. 194 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:34,920 I mean, not bragging or anything, but... Yeah, you've told me that. 195 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:37,880 You came out of her, didn't you? Yeah, popped right out of there. 196 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,320 Er, well, do you have her number? 197 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,640 No. Why, do you? Why would...? 198 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,160 No, I don't have it... I thou... I mean, it's your mum. 199 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,640 I... All right. Er... 200 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:50,200 What's her name? Mum. 201 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,360 Michelle. Michelle. OK, great. 202 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:53,880 And her surname? 203 00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:00,480 Michelle. Yeah. 204 00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:04,120 Michelle Michelle? Michelle. 205 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,880 And where does your mum live. What's her address? 206 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,040 My mum's dead. Not yours... 207 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:14,080 What's the question? Ah, come on. 208 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,560 Do you have her address? 209 00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:21,040 I don't know her, do I? I'm asking you. 210 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:25,640 You know, if it means I don't have to have any more dry showers... 211 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:29,040 ..then, yeah, I suppose we could set something up. Great. Oh, er... 212 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:33,120 WHISPERING: You really have to shower. 213 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:34,640 Oh, and if I can shower here. 214 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:37,160 No. This is an office. Yeah. 215 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,120 No. Yes. She stinks. 216 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,800 No, this is an office. So I.... 217 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:45,280 Come on. Chip-chop, come on. I thought you said she lived nearby? 218 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,520 Yeah, she does live nearby, but just different town. 219 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:51,640 Is that, er... Is that Gary? 220 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,480 No, it's not, Chi. No. 221 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,520 It looks like him. Gary? 222 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:58,840 It's not. I'm telling you, it's not. Gary! 223 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,640 Gary! Oh, it is! Oh. All right? 224 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,360 Hello. Oh, wow. 225 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:06,960 This is awkward, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, I suppose it is. Yeah. 226 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:09,720 Why's it awkward, Gary? 227 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:12,880 Er... 228 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,240 So how's...how's it going with Helen? 229 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,000 Yeah, yeah. No, she's...she's good, as far as I know. 230 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,760 I love her, she's amazing. Sweet. You haven't met Helen yet. Yeah. 231 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,280 We're getting divorced. 232 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:25,520 Just to be clear, we're not together. Yeah. 233 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:26,960 No, no, no, no. Of course not. 234 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,760 No, er, yeah, I know the drill. Yeah. 235 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:32,120 Yeah. We should probably just... Yeah. Come on, yeah. 236 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:34,280 Cos just... Cos he is a paedophile. Yeah. Yeah. 237 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:35,760 Come on. 238 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,040 Nice to see you, Gary. 239 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:42,160 A paedophile. OK. What do you mean he's a paedophile? Come on! 240 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:45,960 I'm the customer, right, I will not be mugged off. OK? 241 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,240 You've got clean shoes somewhere in this building. 242 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,920 And I'll be wearing them. I'm not wearing smelly ones. 243 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:54,280 I'm...sorry? You should be sorry. I mean, this is disgraceful. 244 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,920 They smell really nice, Kaz. Don't put a shoe in my face. 245 00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:59,280 They smell nice. Don't put a shoe in my face. Unreal. 246 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:01,520 I'd wear that as a cologne. 247 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,920 We're here. 248 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,000 This is a bowling alley. No, it's not. 249 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,640 It says bowling alley there. I thought we were going to her house? 250 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:10,280 No. Yeah. Oh, wait. Oh, yeah. No. 251 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,800 Just introduce me and leave it to me, OK? Yeah, fine. 252 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,520 You won't even know I'm there, OK? 253 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:17,960 Don't say anything. 254 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,040 Anything at all. Let me do the talking. 255 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:23,200 My lips are sealed. Both ends. What? 256 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:26,200 It's absolutely ridiculous. Nervous? No, I'm not nervous. 257 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,000 Take a deep breath. It'll be good. No, well, it's not good at all. 258 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,480 Right, ready? Yeah? OK. So you know Karen, you know Dave... 259 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,160 Yeah, all right. And this is probably the best person 260 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,000 you'll ever meet - well, in your life anyway - Michelle. 261 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,360 Hello, Michelle, very nice to meet you. 262 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:41,120 Oh, my God, have we...? 263 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:42,480 Did we sleep together? 264 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,920 No. No. What? No, we haven't. 265 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,360 I'm... No, I'm here with Chi. Yeah. He gave me a house. 266 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,240 Oh! No, he stole my house, actually. I did not. 267 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:51,400 I did not steal the house. I'm a solicitor. 268 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,120 Oh, OK. Nice one, Chi! 269 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,040 I won a frog! I won a frog! 270 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:58,840 Aw! Frog! Is he one of yours? 271 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:05,480 What size? Four. Frog. Can I have four shoes? No, she means... 272 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:07,960 It is very nice to meet you... Can I just try something? 273 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:15,840 Frog. 274 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,040 It's for you, Mama. 275 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,920 THEY LAUGH 276 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:21,240 Michelle, it'd be good to have a chat at some point. 277 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,000 I'd love to, Ads. Love to. 278 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,880 I love that shape you're doing with your hair. 279 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:26,040 I could do this on your hair. 280 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,160 Cos I'm a solicitor, so it'd be good to... On my hair? 281 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:30,960 I know you are, darlin', well done. ..it might be useful for you to... 282 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:33,320 Yeah, I can do it on your hair. What right now? Are you sure? 283 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:34,520 Yeah, it's easy. 284 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,080 I mean, my office is nearby if you... 285 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,760 Just give us a sec, Adam, yeah? 286 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,200 Oh! 287 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,200 HE GROANS 288 00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:46,760 Oh! 289 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:49,960 Yes! 290 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,320 NO! 291 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,320 KIDS LAUGH 292 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:55,120 Give me the frog. No. Give me the frog. No. 293 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:56,440 What you doing?! 294 00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,600 You need to calm down. 295 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:00,840 You think? Yes. 296 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:02,120 Do you want me to try? 297 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:03,480 No, I need to do it. 298 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,960 Let me try. No, I need to do it. 299 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:08,480 Another 20, please. 300 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,120 Are you sure you want to break into that? 301 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,200 There we go, nice little slutty French plait. 302 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:14,720 It's not even neat. 303 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:15,840 Ooh, could you do it on him? 304 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,520 I could, I could easily plait your beard. No, my hair's too short. 305 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:20,160 No, you don't need to do that. 306 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:22,520 I did it. I did it. 307 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,120 HE MOUTHS 308 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:31,880 HE SOBS 309 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,920 Aw, thanks, babes. Don't call me that. 310 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:39,200 Just realised you're Terry and Tanya's kid, Chi, aren't you? 311 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,280 Mm-hm. I am. How are they? 312 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,280 Oh, they're dead. Yeah. 313 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:46,760 Fuck off! Yeah. What do you mean? 314 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,120 Basically, yeah. 315 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,200 Earlier this year, they-they just got, like, 316 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,440 obliterated by a lorry. 317 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,440 SHE LAUGHS 318 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,640 Sorry, that's completely inappropriate. 319 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:58,480 That's fucking awful! 320 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:58,480 THEY LAUGH 321 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,680 Yeah. I actually really miss them, actually. 322 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,280 Oh, my God, that's not funny at all. 323 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:06,360 I'm sorry. It was completely tragic. Why's everyone laughing? 324 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,040 That's not funny at all. I know, it's not. No! 325 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:12,240 Oh, my God. Obviously, when Lucia's parents passed, 326 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:13,760 that's when we first met. 327 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:15,800 Aww! Yeah, he...he was really good to me, though, 328 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,400 to be honest with you. I love a man who steps up. 329 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,760 Yeah. Well, I'm just doing my... It's my job, so... 330 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,760 You're a good guy. Yeah? Yeah, a good one. Got a good one. 331 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:26,080 Doing my job. Adam's a lawyer. Ah. 332 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:29,600 Solicitor. Riddle me this, Mr Lawyer. 333 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,840 Did OJ O'do it? 334 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:34,160 That's got nothing to do with anything, has it? 335 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:35,840 Objection. Biased. 336 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,880 Objection overruled. Oh, that's it, overruled. 337 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:39,840 Do you say that? "Objection overruled"? 338 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,360 All right, Mum? Look what I have just won for you! 339 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:45,880 Well, it's a frog. Yeah. 340 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:48,280 From earlier, when you... From the comment, "Frog." 341 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:50,720 You're such a weird kid, Lorcan! 342 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,320 I...I don't want that. OK. Yeah, you don't... 343 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:58,320 Yeah, you don't like... Yeah, it's a stupid little frog, isn't it? 344 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:00,400 Stupid little frog feet, stupid little big eyes 345 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,520 and its beautiful face. Urgh! 346 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:05,360 Yeah, that was a silly idea. I'm so sorry about that, Mich... Mum. 347 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,360 Does anyone want a vape before we start? 348 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:08,720 Oh, I've always wanted a vape. 349 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:10,920 Michelle, would now be a good time to have a..? Come on. 350 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:13,200 Yeah, I'll come too. Yeah, wait for me. 351 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,240 That's... 352 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,520 Yeah, I think I'm more of a fag girl, actually. 353 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:20,840 I don't think you can say that any more, Kaz. 354 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:21,880 All right. 355 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,120 No, I don't think I like that. Well, why would you do...? 356 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:25,560 It tastes like Yorkshire pudding. 357 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,320 Why would you do both at the same time? 358 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,080 Oh, no, don't leave me with her. Oh... 359 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:34,120 So Dave tells me you're trying for a baby. 360 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:35,240 SHE SCOFFS 361 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:37,040 No, not... I mean... I wouldn't... 362 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,360 I wouldn't say we're trying, we're just... 363 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:40,600 Just see what happens. 364 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,200 Sometimes I really regret not having kids. Oh! 365 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:50,120 We're...we're just going to head in but I'll, er, catch you in there. 366 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,600 I'm quite surprised you haven't had one already actually. 367 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:56,600 Yeah, well, what's that supposed to mean? 368 00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:59,400 Oh, you know Dave and his ridiculously fertile sperm. 369 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:00,680 No. Yeah! 370 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:03,920 No, he's got a very average sperm count, actually. 371 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,400 Oh, no, I'm just saying because, like, when we were together, 372 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,120 I was just always getting pregnant, like... What? ..just... 373 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:12,480 Oh, yeah, like knocking out pregnancies left right and centre. 374 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,200 Like, 20 a year. 375 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:18,120 Just, like, bosh! Pregnant. Bang, bang, bang. 376 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:20,160 So... Well, I mean... 377 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:31,440 I hear you need to de-stress in order to get pregnant. 378 00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:34,240 Fucking hell. What... What has Dave told you? 379 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,160 Look, if you want to lower your blood pressure, 380 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:37,920 just have a go on Chank. 381 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:40,600 Sorry... Honestly just jump on Chank. What? No. No. 382 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:44,040 He does wonders. Whenever I'm stressed, I get Chank in. 383 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:45,320 Honestly just jump on. 384 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:47,960 But why? I don't understand why you think that would work for me. 385 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,360 Because he will open you up, darling. He will open... Yeah. 386 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,240 See, I don't think Dave opens... No. ..you up. 387 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:54,560 Dave does open me up. Does... Dave does a very good job... 388 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:57,040 Does he open you up? ..of opening me up. No. 389 00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:58,360 He's got the good span, Dave... 390 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:01,360 Dave is very, very good at opening me up, thank you very much, OK? OK. 391 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:04,080 Oh, here comes the bowling champion, eh, Miche? 392 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:05,400 I'm coming! 393 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,680 I could be a champion. What the fuck, Dave?! 394 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,600 Wait, they've put my name on wrong. 395 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:12,040 It says "Chin". 396 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:14,160 Oh, sorry. Was it you? 397 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:15,680 Oh. 398 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:17,840 I'm...I'm not on... I better be Mum Number One. 399 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,360 My name's not on there. Where's Chank? 400 00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,640 Am I not playing or...? 401 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:26,360 MUSIC: Just Can't Get Enough by Depeche Mode 402 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,200 CHEERING 403 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,880 Oh! Yeah... Oh. 404 00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:41,560 Please don't finger me. 405 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,480 Sorry, I have to. 406 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:51,200 THEY CHEER 407 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,120 Yeah! 408 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,120 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 409 00:17:57,120 --> 00:18:00,840 Why are you clapping that? Don't clap that! 410 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:02,440 Spar! 411 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,560 THEY CHEER 412 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,360 I love you, Chi. I love you. 413 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:15,320 Adam's great, isn't he? Mm. You've done so well there, Chi. 414 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,160 A lawyer. 415 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:20,440 I mean, for me, I just wish Adam would let me see him more, you know? 416 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,960 What's that, babes? Well, I shouldn't say really, actually, 417 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:25,160 just cos he doesn't want me talking to you, so... 418 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,280 He doesn't...? That's a bit controlling. 419 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:31,520 Yeah. Well, no, he's... he's great, it's just...you know. 420 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:33,840 What did...? What? 421 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:37,040 He just won't turn my electricity or water back on. 422 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:39,000 Well, that is not OK. 423 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,640 Yeah. I mean, it would be fine, 424 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:43,880 but he, he won't let me shower at his either. He won't let...? 425 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,840 Michelle, I'd love to have a word with you. 426 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:49,760 Yeah, I'd love to have a word with you actually. 427 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:51,040 Oh, great. Yeah, so... 428 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,520 Chi can speak to whoever she wants to speak to. 429 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:56,720 All right. Yeah. Yeah, meet a girl half your age, 430 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,080 give her a house, control her electricity... 431 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:02,160 What?! ..I know a pimp when I see one. Wait, I'm not...I'm not a pimp! 432 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:03,480 She's not washed. She stinks! 433 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,400 Yeah, I don't know what she's been telling you, 434 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,960 but that's not what this is. She's actually told me quite a lot, 435 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,280 which I expect you wanted to keep a bit hush-hush, did ya? 436 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:11,360 No, I'm, I'm a solicitor! 437 00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,840 Trying to pull...trying to pull the wool over my eyes, are ya? 438 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,040 I'm not trying to do anything! You're not a solicitor. 439 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,720 You turn up in your snazzy little suit... 440 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,320 I promise you, I've got an office! I'll bet you've got an office. 441 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:22,760 I've got a briefcase! Um... Sorry my finger was inside... 442 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,440 You don't have to say fingers. It's fine. Yeah, yeah. 443 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,880 I've just pissed all over my shoes, 444 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,680 just in case anyone thinks it's water. 445 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:31,080 I haven't done anything wrong! 446 00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:40,080 Well, next time, just don't leave the house without a key. Yeah. 447 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:41,680 Why is it so dark in here? 448 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,920 You tell me! I've had a right time of it. 449 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:47,000 Ah, Chi, what are all these?! 450 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,920 Why haven't you even opened them? 451 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:50,800 I don't know what brown and white squares do - 452 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,040 Mum and Dad used to do that. 453 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,440 Yeah, well, they're not going to deal with it now, are they? 454 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:57,360 God, this one's an energy bill. Have you not paid anything? 455 00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:59,680 I only found out that was a thing today. 456 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,440 What do you want me to do? I've been having dry showers all week. 457 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:06,280 The soap gets stuck to my body hair, just like thick crust. 458 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:09,240 You're just... You're so disgusting. I can't... 459 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:13,880 Hi, yeah, I'd like to make a payment. 460 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:19,120 Yeah, it's for my idiot niece who thought everything was free in life. 461 00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:21,880 Whoever's idea it was to collect all the rain in cups 462 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:25,240 and sell it for profit was a fucking genius, to be fair. 463 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,360 Sh! 464 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,080 Yeah. No, I know. 465 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:32,440 I guess I'm just such a good role model, unlike other people, 466 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,560 who someone might have only just met today. 467 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,040 ON PHONE: Hello? Are you listening? 468 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:38,880 Yeah, no, sorry, I am listening, here's my bank details. 469 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:41,680 MUZAK PLAYS OVER PHONE 470 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,600 Still on hold. 471 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,400 Who? 472 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,720 Were you asleep? No. 473 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:52,120 Better not have been. 474 00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:53,760 Still on hold. 475 00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,040 It's back. 476 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,520 Yeah, yeah, it's on now. Thank you. 477 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:04,960 Oh, thank God for that. 478 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,920 No, don't thank God, thank me. I'm the one that just paid for it. 479 00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:12,080 Right. Night, then. Night, then. Don't overuse electricity. 480 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,960 No. Actually, before you go, could you just quickly check...? 481 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:17,280 Oh. 482 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:22,640 BOTH: Oh! Finally. Thank God for that! 483 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:26,360 Although I was quite enjoying the endless darkness of death. Oh. 484 00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:31,200 TV: I'd love to tell you what the grand total is, 485 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,640 but I cannot see anything. 486 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,320 Does anyone know where I live? 487 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:44,320 ELECTRICAL BUZZING 488 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:44,320 Oh, for... 489 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,840 How does it feel 490 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:58,600 To treat me like you do? 491 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:02,120 When you've laid your hands upon me 492 00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:05,440 And told me who you are. 493 00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:10,040 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 38013

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