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1
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[KNOCKING]
2
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Oh, Alan. Alan Arkin.
3
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Twenty-eight seconds to curtain,
Mr. Arkin.
4
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Thank you, Scooter.
5
00:00:08,466 --> 00:00:12,637
-Did you get that milkshake you ordered?
-Not yet, but the chef is working on it.
6
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[SINGING GIBBERISH]
7
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[COW MOOING]
8
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It's The Muppet Show, with our
very special guest star, Alan Arkin!
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Yeah!
10
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,946
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
11
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♪ It's time to play the music ♪
12
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♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
13
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♪ It's time to get things started ♪
14
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♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪
15
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Hey, Beauregard, come on.
16
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♪ It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
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♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
18
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♪ This is what we call ♪
19
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♪ The Muppet Show ♪
20
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[TYPEWRITER KEYS CLICKING]
21
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[BELL DINGS]
22
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
23
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Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
24
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Hi-ho, and welcome again
to The Muppet Show.
25
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And have we got a show for you!
26
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Well, yes, as a matter of fact we have.
27
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Yes, it's going to be a terrific show
28
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because our very special guest star
is that fantastic
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actor, singer, and director,
Mr. Alan Arkin.
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Yes, but before we meet Alan,
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let us take a trip down South,
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where we shall meet
some very strange tourists.
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Yeah!
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[PLAYING "THE DEVIL WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA"]
35
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♪ Now the devil went down to Georgia ♪
36
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♪ He was looking for a soul to steal ♪
37
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♪ He was in a bind
'Cause he was way behind ♪
38
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♪ And willin' to make a deal ♪
39
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:08,128
♪ When he came across this young man
Sawin' on a fiddle and playin' it hot ♪
40
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♪ The devil jumped up
On a hickory stump, said ♪
41
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♪ Boy, let me tell you what
I guess you didn't know it ♪
42
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♪ But I'm a fiddle player, too ♪
43
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♪ And if you'd care to take a dare
I'll make a bet with you ♪
44
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♪ Now, you play
A pretty good fiddle, boy ♪
45
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♪ But give the devil his due ♪
46
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♪ I'll bet a fiddle of gold
Against your soul ♪
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♪ 'Cause I think I'm better than you ♪
48
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♪ I'll tell you my name's Johnny ♪
49
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♪ And it might be a sin ♪
50
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♪ But I'll take your bet
You're gonna regret ♪
51
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♪ 'Cause I'm the best that's ever been ♪
52
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♪ Johnny rosin up your bow
And play your fiddle hard ♪
53
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♪ 'Cause hell broke loose in Georgia
And the devil deals the cards ♪
54
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♪ And if you win you get
This shiny fiddle made of gold ♪
55
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♪ But if you lose
The devil gets your soul ♪
56
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♪ The devil opened up his case
And he said ♪
57
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♪ I'll start this show ♪
58
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♪ And fire flew from his fingertips
As he rosined up his bow ♪
59
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♪ And he pulled the bow
Across the strings ♪
60
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♪ And it made an evil hiss ♪
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♪ Then a band of demons joined in
And it sounded somethin' like this ♪
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♪ When the devil finished, Johnny said ♪
63
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♪ Well, you're pretty good, old son ♪
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♪ But sit down in that chair right there
And let me show you how it's done ♪
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♪ Fire on the mountain, run, boys, run ♪
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♪ Devil's in the house
Of the rising sun ♪
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♪ Chicken in the bread pan
Pickin' out dough ♪
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♪ Granny, does your dog bite?
No, child, no ♪
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You wanna see some fiddle playing?
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Whoo!
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♪ The devil bowed his head
Because he knew that he'd been beat ♪
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♪ And he laid that golden fiddle
On the ground at Johnny's feet ♪
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-♪ And Johnny said ♪
-♪ Devil, just come on back ♪
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♪ If you ever want to try again
'Cause I told you once, you son of a gun ♪
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♪ I'm the best that's ever been ♪
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♪ Fire on the mountain, run, boys, run ♪
77
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♪ The devil's in the house
Of the rising sun ♪
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♪ Chicken in the bread pan
Pickin' out dough ♪
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♪ Granny, does your dog bite?
No, child, no ♪
80
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
81
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:07,098
Well, I've seen many an egg
laid on this show, but this is a first.
82
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-Why?
-They laid a deviled egg.
83
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:15,482
Okay. Terrific, guys.
Devil, you were good.
84
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Good? I'm not supposed to be good.
85
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[GRUMBLES]
86
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Yeah. Uh, wait a second.
Who are you, guys?
87
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We're the Bunbun Brothers.
88
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-Can we do a number?
-Uh, no.
89
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Why?
90
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:31,790
Well, you see it's politics.
91
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If I allowed for, uh, singing rabbits,
then the dancing carrots would cancel.
92
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ALL:
Aw!
93
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,173
Excuse me, I gotta check the set
for Alan's first number.
94
00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:43,802
-Oh, no, wait, please.
-Please.
95
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:46,179
I'll just take this
glass of bicarbonate of soda
96
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up to Alan Arkin's dressing room.
97
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[BEAKER MUMBLING]
98
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Beaker, why are you carrying that glass
99
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of Ultra Powerful Jekyll-Hyde Potion?
100
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:58,525
"Ultra-Powerful Jekyll-Hyde Potion"?
101
00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:05,657
Beaker, are you trying to tell me
that we have accidently
102
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:07,575
switched these glasses?
103
00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:11,621
Well, we must simply unswitch them.
104
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:20,005
No, no, no, Beaker.
I said we must unswitch them.
105
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:22,465
After all, we wouldn't want Alan Arkin
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to accidently drink the glass
of Ultra-Powerful Jekyll-Hyde potion.
107
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This could be a very different
kind of show tonight.
108
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[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
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Come in.
110
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Hello, Mr. Arkin.
I understand you're not feeling too well.
111
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I'm Dr. Bunsen Honeydew,
and this is Beaker--
112
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:46,072
It's nothing serious,
it's just a little heartburn.
113
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-I appreciate you and your nurse--
-[BEAKER GASPS THEN BABBLES]
114
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What's the matter with her?
115
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Oh, nothing.
116
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,958
Oh, stop it, Beaker. I think it's cute.
117
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Anyway, that's why we're here.
118
00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:02,505
Drink this and you can say
toodly binky-boos
119
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,257
to that nasty old tummy upset.
120
00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:07,260
"Toodly binky-boos," eh? All right.
121
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[GRUNTING]
122
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:22,942
[YELLING AND GROWLING]
123
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,617
[HONEYDEW & BEAKER SHRIEK]
124
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Oh, golly, Beaker,
I don't think we got it right after all.
125
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,583
[BEAKER SCREAMING]
126
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Relax, Beaker.
127
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:45,256
Stop it. He'd never harm a nurse.
128
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,057
[NOSE HONKS]
129
00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:10,949
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
it's guest star time,
130
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and here he is to sing "Zip-A-Dee-Do-Dah,"
Mr. Alan--
131
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Kermit. Kermit. I don't think you better
introduce Alan Arkin right now.
132
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:20,834
-Why not?
-Well, uh... Well, he's changed.
133
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:24,045
Of course he's changed. He had to put on
his costume for this number.
134
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:27,507
-I mean, he's changed in another way.
-I don't know what you're talking about.
135
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,926
Let me finish the introduction.
Ladies and gentlemen--
136
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[ALAN YELLING]
137
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What was that?
138
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Alan Arkin.
139
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Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
140
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the fabulously talented
The Bunbun Brothers.
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
142
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♪ Zip-a-dee-doo-dah
Zip-a-dee-ay ♪
143
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:56,077
♪ My, oh, my, what a wonderful day ♪
144
00:08:56,161 --> 00:09:00,331
♪ Plenty of sunshine heading my way ♪
145
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:04,002
♪ Zip-a-dee-doo-dah
Zip-a-dee-ay ♪
146
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:08,298
♪ Mr. Bluebird on my shoulder ♪
147
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:13,053
♪ It's the truth, it's actual
Everything is satisfactual ♪
148
00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:17,390
♪ Zip-a-dee-doo-dah
Zip-a-dee-ay ♪
149
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:21,061
♪ Wonderful feelin', wonderful day ♪
150
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[GRUNTING]
151
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[RABBITS SCREAMING]
152
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♪ Mr. Bluebird on my shoulder ♪
153
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:45,502
♪ It's the truth, it's actual ♪
154
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,338
♪ Everything is satisfactual ♪
155
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♪ Zip-a-dee-doo-dah
Zip-a-dee-ay ♪
156
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:58,098
♪ My, oh, my, what a wonderful day ♪
157
00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:01,267
♪ Zip-a-dee-doo-dah
Zip-a-dee-ay ♪
158
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:02,894
RABBIT:
Hey!
159
00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:04,354
Wonderful feelin'.
160
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,691
Wonderful day?
161
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,864
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
162
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:22,664
You look like two kindly old gentlemen.
163
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:24,416
Can I hide here?
164
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,919
Hey, Alan, here's one you missed.
165
00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,337
[RABBIT SCREAMS]
166
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,175
Uh, he's coming off-stage, guys.
167
00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:36,302
When he gets here,
throw the ropes around him
168
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:38,680
and then we can get him
into the straitjacket, okay?
169
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,807
Here he comes! Aah!
170
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,517
[YELLING AND GROWLING]
171
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,144
[ALL SHOUTING]
172
00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:49,149
KERMIT:
Tie him up!
173
00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:50,608
That's it. Get him good.
174
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:54,195
Excuse me, guys, would you mind
taking this rope off me, please?
175
00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:58,074
Alan. You're back.
176
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:01,661
Yeah, I never left.
I just came down to do my number, Kermit.
177
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:05,498
Well, uh, pigs, get out of here.
Take those ropes off our guest star.
178
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:08,418
Get out of here. Out, out, out, out.
179
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:14,341
Sorry about that, Alan, but you, uh...
You don't remember any of that?
180
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:16,384
I remember it's time to do my number.
181
00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:21,931
Oh. Oh, well... Well, actually,
I had to cancel your number.
182
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,225
Why?
I thought you liked that number, Kermit.
183
00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:26,728
Oh, uh... it's not that, exactly.
184
00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:29,356
Don't explain. You're the boss.
185
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:32,108
[WHIMPERING]
I guess it just wasn't good enough.
186
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:36,905
[SOBBING]
187
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:48,541
Well, at least he's not a monster anymore.
188
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,669
Well, Mr. Kermit, that's the thing
189
00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:54,005
about my Ultra-Powerful
Jekyll-Hyde potion.
190
00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:55,340
[YELLING]
191
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,559
It comes and it goes.
192
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,647
[PLAYING UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC]
193
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:20,198
♪ I got rhythm ♪
194
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:23,660
♪ I got-- I got rhythm ♪
195
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,954
Uh, wait a second, Fozzie, hold on.
196
00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:29,541
You started wrong.
It goes like this, let me show you.
197
00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:31,459
♪ I got rhythm ♪
198
00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:33,753
Oh, gotcha, gotcha.
199
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:35,213
♪ I got... ♪
200
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,632
Not yet. Not yet. Now.
201
00:12:37,716 --> 00:12:41,219
♪ I got rhythm ♪
202
00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:43,013
♪ I got... ♪
203
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,098
No, no, no, Fozzie.
Fozzie, hold one second.
204
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:48,101
Let me make one little change here.
205
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:50,937
-Okay. Now sing that.
-Yes, sir.
206
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:57,152
-♪ I don't got rhythm ♪
-Mm-hm.
207
00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:59,821
-♪ I don't got rhythm ♪
-That's for sure.
208
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:01,531
♪ I don't got rhythm ♪
209
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,034
♪ Who could ask for anything more? ♪
210
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,536
STATLER: We could.
-Yeah. Earplugs.
211
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:14,377
♪ Who could ask for anything more? ♪
212
00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:17,797
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
213
00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:26,723
NARRATOR [ECHOING]:
And now, Pigs in Space.
214
00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:31,227
When last we left the spaceship Swinetrek,
215
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:34,022
it had developed a severe list.
216
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:36,316
-Do something!
-Well, I can't correct it.
217
00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:39,652
There's something wrong
with the gyro-slopic...
218
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:41,446
What do you call it, Dr. Strangepork?
219
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,782
I don't know, but if it isn't fixed,
220
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:47,369
it'll sure louse up
our billiard game tonight.
221
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:48,536
Right.
222
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,622
Wait. Maybe I can fix it.
223
00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:52,999
-You? Um...
-Yes.
224
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,167
Ha.
225
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,836
[GRUNTING]
226
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,880
-Hey.
-Oh. Heh.
227
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,132
There, ahem, I fixed it.
228
00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:03,593
But all you did was sit in Link's seat.
229
00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:06,137
Maybe it took a woman's touch.
230
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:12,060
-It's working, isn't it, gentlemen?
-Yes, it is.
231
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:14,312
Okay, let me back in my own seat here.
232
00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:15,855
Excuse me.
233
00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:17,941
Whoa, whoa, wait! Wait!
234
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:20,276
-Oh, no.
-Oh! It's doing it again.
235
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,446
Wait. First Mate Piggy, come here, please.
236
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:26,574
-Why?
-Just come here.
237
00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:27,992
Huh. All right.
238
00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:29,119
[GRUNTING]
239
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,704
Watch it.
240
00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:36,376
What is it?
241
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:40,130
-Link, I think we've found the answer.
-Huh?
242
00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:43,341
It's a coincidence, Strangepork.
243
00:14:43,425 --> 00:14:47,554
Oh, yeah? Then why don't you go back
to your own seat?
244
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,931
Well, I think I will.
245
00:14:50,015 --> 00:14:52,017
[GRUNTING]
246
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:56,980
Uh-oh.
247
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:03,028
Hey, I get it now.
248
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:06,531
One word from you, lard lips,
and you're dead.
249
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:10,076
As you wish, First Mate Fatso.
250
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,454
Fatso? That does it!
251
00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:16,458
[ALL YELLING]
252
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,963
Help! Help! Get her away from me.
253
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:37,312
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
254
00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:47,864
♪ Feeling better now that we're through.
Feeling better 'cause I'm over you. ♪
255
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:56,873
♪ I learned my lesson, it left a scar.
But now I see how you really are, ♪
256
00:15:56,956 --> 00:16:03,713
ALL: ♪ You're no good, you're no good,
You're no good, baby, you're no good. ♪
257
00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:06,925
I'm gonna say it again.
258
00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:13,473
ALL: ♪ You're no good, you're no good,
You're no good, baby, you're no good. ♪
259
00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:19,521
Oh, it's you, you little devil.
260
00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:23,066
Yeah, it's me. I'm back, angel baby.
261
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,568
Hey, where've you been all this time?
262
00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:30,031
You know, hanging out with the guys.
Did you miss me?
263
00:16:30,115 --> 00:16:32,659
Miss you? I was lonely as heck.
264
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:38,164
Hmm, then all is forgiven, honey child,
honey lamb, honey baby, honey pie?
265
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:42,836
Are you kiddin'? You know how dull things
have been around here without you.
266
00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:46,631
Aw, then come on, baby, light my fire!
C'mon!
267
00:16:46,715 --> 00:16:52,512
♪ If you'll have me back again,
We'll start out anew. ♪
268
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:56,850
♪ It's not easy forgetting you. ♪
269
00:16:56,933 --> 00:17:03,606
ALL: ♪ We're no good, we're no good,
We're no good, baby, we're no good. ♪
270
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:08,695
BOTH: ♪ We're gonna say it again.
We're no good, we're no good, ♪
271
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:13,158
♪ We're no good, baby, we're no good. ♪
272
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:16,411
BOTH: ♪ Oh! Oh! Oh! ♪
273
00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:27,088
♪ We're no good, we're no good,
We're no good, baby, we're no good. ♪
274
00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:29,883
[LAUGHING]
275
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:36,765
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
it's comedy time.
276
00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:39,392
And here he is, our own furry funny man,
277
00:17:39,476 --> 00:17:42,145
Mr. Fozzie Bear!
278
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,813
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
279
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:47,025
Hiya, hiya, hiya.
Thank you, thank you, and thank you.
280
00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:51,571
Hey, uh, that's nice, but if you keep
applauding, you won't hear my monologue.
281
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,365
[APPLAUSE CONTINUES]
282
00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:54,866
Uh... Okay. Okay.
283
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:56,076
Oh, but of course,
284
00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:58,536
that doesn't mean I want you
to sit on your hands.
285
00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:00,789
-Don't worry. We won't.
-Good.
286
00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:04,209
Yeah, if we sit on our hands,
we can't throw things at you.
287
00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:07,754
Please, give me a chance, will you?
288
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:11,925
Okay. A very funny thing happened
to me on the way to the theater.
289
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:14,969
Too bad it didn't happen
after you got here.
290
00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,640
Oh, boy. You're making me so nervous.
291
00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:20,475
I-- I forgot what I was going to say.
292
00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:22,811
Oh, mission accomplished.
293
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:27,482
Oh, come on, please. I'm begging, please.
294
00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:30,735
Just-- Just one joke.
That's all I ask. Just one joke.
295
00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:32,612
I think he deserves that, don't you?
296
00:18:32,696 --> 00:18:34,906
No, but go ahead.
297
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:38,034
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
Okay. Ahem. Joke.
298
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:42,330
What do you get when you cross
the Atlantic with the Titanic?
299
00:18:42,414 --> 00:18:46,251
I don't know. What do you get when you
cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?
300
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:49,337
Halfway.
301
00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:53,550
-That's pretty funny.
-No, it isn't.
302
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:54,843
I was on that ship.
303
00:18:54,926 --> 00:18:58,013
It wasn't funny then,
and it isn't funny now.
304
00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:02,559
Oh. I gotta get a different line of work.
305
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:05,020
Maybe dry cleaning or something.
306
00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:08,398
Why did you do that to poor Fozzie?
307
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,817
Do what? I really was on the Titanic.
308
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:15,572
I know. You still have the dress you wore
so they'd let you in the life boat.
309
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:18,950
Okay, how was it, Fozzie?
310
00:19:19,034 --> 00:19:23,288
Oh, just my luck.
A Titanic survivor in the audience.
311
00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,165
[FOZZIE GROANS]
312
00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:27,792
Okay, now, let's see.
Where'd I leave my clipboard?
313
00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:29,794
Hey, would you guys stop following me?
314
00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:31,254
Oh, please, Mr. Kermit.
315
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:33,840
Protect us from your guest star,
Alan Arkin.
316
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:36,760
Uh, listen, guys,
I know that Alan accidently drank
317
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:39,679
the Ultra-Powerful Jekyll-Hyde potion,
318
00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:42,265
but he really is a sweet, sensitive,
gentle man.
319
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:43,600
[ALAN YELLING]
320
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,810
[BANGING]
321
00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:48,313
And I'll protect you from him.
322
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:51,024
But right now,
I have an introduction to make.
323
00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:53,443
Oh, this is just too dangerous.
324
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:57,614
I'm going to have to throw this Ultra-
Powerful Jekyll-Hyde potion away now.
325
00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:01,409
KERMIT: And here he is now,
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew in Muppet Labs.
326
00:20:01,493 --> 00:20:05,622
Oh, heavens to horse feathers,
I've just been introduced.
327
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,582
-Get out there, Bunsen.
-Yes, yes.
328
00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:11,002
Uh, will you rabbits stop hopping
when I make introductions?
329
00:20:11,086 --> 00:20:12,128
It's ridiculous.
330
00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:15,298
Oh, good. I'm kind of thirsty.
331
00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:31,439
Um, well, uh... Now, where'd I put that--?
332
00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:32,565
[GRUNTING]
333
00:20:32,649 --> 00:20:35,026
Where'd I put that prop list?
334
00:20:35,110 --> 00:20:39,531
Gee, thanks for letting us stay with you,
Mr. Kermit. We feel safe near you.
335
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:41,866
[GROWLING]
336
00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:43,535
[RABBITS SCREAMING]
337
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,330
Oh, uh, Kermit?
338
00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:49,958
Could you hold it down a little?
I'm trying to take a rest.
339
00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:52,502
[GROWLING]
340
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:55,547
Well, I don't understand
why you're annoyed with me.
341
00:20:57,215 --> 00:20:59,592
I-- I worked very hard
on that final number.
342
00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:02,804
I've been told it's the kind of number
that can really grab you.
343
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:07,892
Kermit, when-- When I used the word
"grab," I was speaking metaphorically.
344
00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:10,228
[KERMIT GROWLING AND YELLING]
345
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:19,654
[SNAKE RATTLING]
346
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,202
♪ Oh, let me go ♪
347
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,329
♪ Let me go ♪
348
00:21:28,413 --> 00:21:29,873
♪ Let me go ♪
349
00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:30,999
Oh! Oh.
350
00:21:31,082 --> 00:21:32,125
♪ Lover ♪
351
00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:33,543
[YELLING]
352
00:21:42,469 --> 00:21:44,554
[STAMMERING]
353
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:47,682
Uh, gee, I'm feeling
kind of weird tonight.
354
00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:51,478
Uh, but anyway, it's guest star time,
and here I am to introduce him.
355
00:21:51,561 --> 00:21:53,938
Unless, of course,
he's turned into a raging beast.
356
00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:55,231
Oh, good news, chief.
357
00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:57,984
He's been his normal lovable self
for a few minutes now.
358
00:21:58,068 --> 00:22:00,570
Oh, good.
Uh-- Oh, incidentally, do you know
359
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:02,322
-where Miss Piggy is right now?
-No.
360
00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:04,574
It might be best to keep her
in her dressing room.
361
00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:06,826
I don't think she should hear
this closing number.
362
00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:08,828
-Anything you say, boss.
-Mm-hm.
363
00:22:08,912 --> 00:22:13,166
Uh, ladies and gentlemen, the world
knows Alan Arkin as a great film actor.
364
00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:16,503
But wait, he's also a fantastic
singer and composer.
365
00:22:16,586 --> 00:22:19,589
Here he is singing one of his
most beloved ballads, Mr. Alan Arkin!
366
00:22:19,673 --> 00:22:21,257
Yay!
367
00:22:21,341 --> 00:22:23,426
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
368
00:22:26,221 --> 00:22:28,098
Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
369
00:22:28,181 --> 00:22:32,060
It's great to be back on The Muppet Show.
It's fantastic to be back.
370
00:22:32,143 --> 00:22:34,854
Even if it is the first time
I've been on The Muppet Show.
371
00:22:34,938 --> 00:22:38,274
But seriously, folks, we'd like to do
a little number for you now
372
00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:40,443
that's about one of my favorite animals.
373
00:22:40,527 --> 00:22:42,987
I certainly hope it's about
one of your favorite animals.
374
00:22:43,071 --> 00:22:45,156
A little number we call "Pig."
375
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:47,242
[PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC]
376
00:22:58,253 --> 00:23:02,674
♪ If you live in a barnyard
And your mother's a sow ♪
377
00:23:02,757 --> 00:23:06,928
♪ If you sleep on manure
Don't ask me how ♪
378
00:23:07,012 --> 00:23:11,516
♪ If your eyes are quite tiny
And your ears very big ♪
379
00:23:11,599 --> 00:23:15,770
♪ You can be fairly certain
What you are is a pig ♪
380
00:23:16,730 --> 00:23:20,150
♪ Pig, pig, pig, pig, pig, pig ♪
381
00:23:20,233 --> 00:23:24,863
♪ Pig, pig, pig, pig, pig, pig, pig, pig ♪
382
00:23:24,946 --> 00:23:29,075
♪ If you like to dig truffles
Out from under the ground ♪
383
00:23:29,159 --> 00:23:33,747
♪ If you like to make noises
Oink's your favorite sound ♪
384
00:23:33,830 --> 00:23:37,834
♪ If you sleep through the morning
Every chance you can rig ♪
385
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:43,214
♪ There's no need to question
What you are is pig, yeah! ♪
386
00:23:43,298 --> 00:23:47,052
♪ Pig, pig, pig, pig, pig, pig, pig, pig ♪
387
00:23:47,135 --> 00:23:50,972
-♪ Pig, pig, pig, pig, pig, pig ♪
-♪ Pig, pig, pig! ♪
388
00:23:51,056 --> 00:23:53,266
♪ If you like to push garbage ♪
389
00:23:53,350 --> 00:23:55,435
♪ All around with your nose ♪
390
00:23:55,518 --> 00:23:59,939
♪ If you like to feel mud
Ooze up between your two toes ♪
391
00:24:00,023 --> 00:24:04,361
♪ If your tail is all curly
But not all that big ♪
392
00:24:04,444 --> 00:24:06,488
♪ Then don't bother to wonder ♪
393
00:24:06,571 --> 00:24:08,031
♪ You can bet you're a pig ♪
394
00:24:08,114 --> 00:24:09,616
[PANTING]
395
00:24:09,699 --> 00:24:12,952
♪ Pig, pig, pig, pig, pig, pig ♪
396
00:24:13,036 --> 00:24:15,455
-Let me at him.
-No. No, Miss Piggy.
397
00:24:15,538 --> 00:24:18,124
♪ Pig, pig, pig, pig ♪
398
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,003
Whoa!
399
00:24:22,087 --> 00:24:25,674
♪ If you walk in your breakfast
If you sit in your lunch ♪
400
00:24:26,591 --> 00:24:30,845
♪ If you roll in your dinner
Then I've got a strong hunch ♪
401
00:24:30,929 --> 00:24:34,766
♪ You're no muskrat or beaver
No tomato or fig ♪
402
00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:37,686
♪ There's no need to question ♪
403
00:24:37,769 --> 00:24:40,021
♪ I'm gonna tell you the truth
Of the situation ♪
404
00:24:40,105 --> 00:24:42,148
♪ What you are my friend ♪
405
00:24:42,232 --> 00:24:44,567
♪ You might as well find out now ♪
406
00:24:44,651 --> 00:24:47,904
♪ What you are ♪
407
00:24:47,987 --> 00:24:50,281
♪ What you are is a pig ♪
408
00:24:52,951 --> 00:24:55,537
♪ What you are is a pig ♪
409
00:24:55,620 --> 00:24:57,163
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
410
00:24:57,247 --> 00:24:58,748
Hi-yah!
411
00:25:02,752 --> 00:25:04,170
[SCREAMS]
412
00:25:04,254 --> 00:25:06,339
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
413
00:25:08,675 --> 00:25:09,884
Okay, thank you very much.
414
00:25:09,968 --> 00:25:11,845
It's been a great show,
ladies and gentlemen,
415
00:25:11,928 --> 00:25:14,597
marred only by the fact
that our guest star and I keep turning
416
00:25:14,681 --> 00:25:17,100
into rampaging monsters.
417
00:25:17,183 --> 00:25:19,769
But here he is anyway,
ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Alan Arkin!
418
00:25:19,853 --> 00:25:21,479
Yay!
419
00:25:21,563 --> 00:25:23,648
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
420
00:25:25,817 --> 00:25:27,777
I don't really remember
a lot of it, Kermit,
421
00:25:27,861 --> 00:25:30,113
but I'm fairly sure I had a terrific time.
422
00:25:30,196 --> 00:25:31,740
[HONEYDEW SCREAMS]
423
00:25:31,823 --> 00:25:32,866
Oh, excuse me.
424
00:25:32,949 --> 00:25:35,326
-I'd get off-stage if I were you.
-Why's that?
425
00:25:35,410 --> 00:25:38,788
Oh, the bunny rabbits
just drank the Jekyll-Hyde potion.
426
00:25:38,872 --> 00:25:40,832
[RABBITS GROWLING]
427
00:25:40,915 --> 00:25:44,836
Oh, no. Uh, we'll see you next time
on The Muppet Show!
428
00:25:44,919 --> 00:25:46,629
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
429
00:26:21,831 --> 00:26:24,584
You think that Jekyll-Hyde stuff
is expensive?
430
00:26:24,668 --> 00:26:28,004
No, my wife has a whole glass of it
every morning.
33481
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