Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,208 --> 00:00:01,334
[KNOCKING]
2
00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:06,464
Andy Williams. Andy Williams.
Fifteen seconds to curtain, Andy.
3
00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:08,675
Terrific, Scooter. I'm all set.
4
00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:10,218
Oh, by the way, Andy,
5
00:00:10,301 --> 00:00:12,721
thanks for sharing the dressing room
with the Limburger.
6
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,305
Oh, that's all right.
7
00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:17,142
I was warned this was a cheesy show.
8
00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:19,310
[ANDY & CHEESES LAUGHING]
9
00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:23,815
It's The Muppet Show,
10
00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:26,735
with our very special guest star,
Andy Williams.
11
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,737
[CHEERS]
12
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,989
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
13
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:44,711
♪ It's time to play the music ♪
14
00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:46,838
♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
15
00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:48,715
♪ It's time to get things started ♪
16
00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:51,843
♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪
17
00:00:51,926 --> 00:00:53,928
How much do you want not to start?
18
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:55,555
[BOTH LAUGH]
19
00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:59,851
♪ It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
20
00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:02,312
♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
21
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:05,148
♪ This is what we call ♪
22
00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:09,486
♪ The Muppet Show ♪
23
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,654
[DOGS HOWLING]
24
00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:16,368
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
25
00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:17,494
Thank you, thank you.
26
00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:20,163
Hi-ho, and welcome again
to The Muppet Show.
27
00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:23,249
We're gonna have a wonderful show
because tonight's special guest
28
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:27,629
is one of my all-time favorite people,
Mr. Andy Williams.
29
00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:32,759
But first, here is an opening number,
"My Kind of Door."
30
00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:34,928
[BAND PLAYING MELANCHOLY JAZZ MUSIC]
31
00:01:39,557 --> 00:01:41,142
♪ Midnight ♪
32
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:45,105
♪ One more night without sleeping ♪
33
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,233
♪ Watching ♪
34
00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:52,112
♪ 'Til the morning comes creeping ♪
35
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:55,323
♪ Green door ♪
36
00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:59,160
♪ What's that secret you're keeping? ♪
37
00:02:00,328 --> 00:02:03,456
♪ There's an old piano
And they play it hot ♪
38
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:07,419
♪ Behind the green door, oh, yeah ♪
39
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:10,547
♪ I don't know what they're doing
But they laugh a lot ♪
40
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,966
♪ Behind the green door ♪
41
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:15,760
♪ Oh, wish they'd let me in ♪
42
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:20,056
♪ So I could find out
What's behind the green door ♪
43
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,391
Here I go. Ahem.
44
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:24,102
♪ Knocked once ♪
45
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:26,563
♪ I tried to tell them I'd been here ♪
46
00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:27,772
Oh.
47
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,066
♪ The door slammed ♪
48
00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:34,487
♪ Hospitality is thin there ♪
49
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:40,994
♪ Ugh, wonder what's going on in there ♪
50
00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:42,162
[SIGHS]
51
00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:45,290
[PLAYING UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC]
52
00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:47,459
[CROWD WHOOPING]
53
00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:05,477
A-ha!
54
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,645
[BAND PLAYING MELANCHOLY JAZZ MUSIC]
55
00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:12,108
[ECHOING]
What?
56
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:15,153
Hello? Anybody home?
57
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,531
Yuck.
58
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:20,033
-Eh.
-Huh.
59
00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,333
♪ Midnight ♪
60
00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:31,878
♪ One more night without sleeping ♪
61
00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:34,172
A-ha! Oh.
62
00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:35,715
♪ Watching ♪
63
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:39,052
♪ 'Til the morning comes creeping ♪
64
00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:46,101
♪ Oh, green door
What's that secret you're keeping? ♪
65
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:47,644
[SIGHS]
66
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:54,067
♪ Green door
What's that secret you're keeping, huh? ♪
67
00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:55,568
♪ Green door ♪
68
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,737
[CROWD WHOOPING]
69
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:04,661
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
70
00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:10,250
At first, I thought that number
was gonna be good, but then...
71
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:13,503
-Then what?
-Then they raised the curtain.
72
00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:17,716
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
73
00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:19,592
Come in.
74
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:23,013
Uh... Oh, Andrew, dear, hello.
75
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,180
Hi, Miss Piggy.
76
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:28,226
There has been an itsy-bitsy change
in your opening number.
77
00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:29,352
-Oh?
-Yes.
78
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:33,440
I think Kermie would like you
to sing "Love Story."
79
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:36,276
-"Love Story"?
-Mm-hm. You know, it goes:
80
00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,278
♪ La, la-la, la, la... ♪
81
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:40,780
-I know the song. I know the song.
-Oh.
82
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,240
Uh, but why?
83
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:44,075
Well, you sing it so beautifully.
84
00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:47,787
Well, thank you.
But we rehearsed "Moon River."
85
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:50,248
Well, um, uh...
86
00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:51,916
Andrew...
87
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:56,046
I have a little secret
between vous et moi.
88
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,589
What?
89
00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:59,424
You and me.
90
00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:02,385
I know what it means. But, uh, why?
91
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:06,723
Oh, Andrew, Kermie and I,
92
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:09,517
we are engaged.
93
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:12,103
-No!
-Yes!
94
00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:15,273
-That's wonderful.
-Yes, and it just happened.
95
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:17,901
-Can I make the announcement?
-No! No.
96
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:20,362
Um, only you and I know.
97
00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:21,488
And Kermit.
98
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:22,947
Who?
99
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:25,408
Oh, yes, yes, uh, Kermit. Yes, yes.
100
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,453
But you will sing "Love Story" for us,
won't you?
101
00:05:28,536 --> 00:05:30,997
-Well, of course I will.
-Ahh.
102
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:34,417
-The frog and the pig getting married.
-Yes.
103
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,879
Soon there'll be the patter of tiny figs.
104
00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:40,048
[CHORTLING]
105
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:47,013
When you finish breaking yourself up,
you will sing, won't you?
106
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:53,436
Uh, listen, Rizzo, one of these
dancing cheeses seems to be missing.
107
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,523
Now, do you know anything
about this dancing cheese?
108
00:05:57,649 --> 00:06:00,944
-Rats.
-Kermie, Kermie, Kermie!
109
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:05,073
I wonder if I may make an itsy-bitsy
suggestion for tonight's show.
110
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:06,658
I guess so. What is it?
111
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:10,078
Cancel "Moon River"
and have Andy Williams sing "Love Story."
112
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,455
Miss Piggy,
I can't change the running order now.
113
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,708
Besides, Andy's associated
with "Moon River."
114
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:18,128
And you know who's associated
with "Love Story," don't you?
115
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:21,715
-Hm?
-Vous et moi.
116
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,341
What?!
117
00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:26,219
-You and me.
-I know what it means.
118
00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:30,056
The "Moon River" set is already
being moved on-stage, so forget it.
119
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:32,684
Kermie-- Hold it!
120
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:35,770
But Kermit told us to put this
on the stage.
121
00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,188
[BEAKER SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
122
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,274
I don't care.
123
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:42,485
Just take that back
and bring in the "Love Story" set.
124
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:46,781
But if we did that, Kermit would fire us.
125
00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:50,035
Would you rather be fired or dismembered?
126
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:51,369
[BEAKER SCREAMS]
127
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,455
Hm. Dismembered sounds like fun.
128
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:56,041
[GASPS THEN SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
129
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,167
[GASPS]
130
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,085
We'll take fired.
131
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,673
Uh, ladies and gentlemen, with us tonight
132
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,843
is one of the world's great entertainers
and recording artists.
133
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:09,763
-Here he is now, Mr. Andy Williams.
-Psst, psst, psst.
134
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:12,640
-What? What?
-Kermie. Psst.
135
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:14,184
KERMIT:
What?
136
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,644
[KERMIT SCREAMS THEN CRASHES]
137
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,774
[BAND PLAYING TENDER EASY-LISTENING MUSIC]
138
00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:27,197
♪ Where do I begin ♪
139
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:33,536
♪ To tell the story
Of how great a love can be? ♪
140
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:40,460
♪ The sweet love story
That is older than the sea ♪
141
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:47,133
♪ The simple truth
About the love she brings to me ♪
142
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:52,138
♪ Where do I start? ♪
143
00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:58,311
♪ With her first hello ♪
144
00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,437
Hello.
145
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:05,819
♪ She gave new meaning
To this empty world of mine ♪
146
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:11,032
♪ There'd never be another love
Another time ♪
147
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,200
A-ha!
148
00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:18,832
♪ She came into my life
And made the living fine ♪
149
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:22,210
♪ She fills my heart ♪
150
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:23,420
A-ha!
151
00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:28,008
♪ She fills my heart ♪
152
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:29,676
Kermit!
153
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:33,346
♪ With very special things ♪
154
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:36,016
♪ With angels' songs ♪
155
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:37,809
♪ With wild imaginings ♪
156
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:38,935
Ah!
157
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:44,482
♪ She fills my soul with so much love ♪
158
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:48,445
♪ That anywhere I go ♪
159
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:49,696
-Ha!
-Excuse me.
160
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:52,115
♪ I'm never lonely ♪
161
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:58,038
♪ With her along, who could be lonely? ♪
162
00:08:58,121 --> 00:09:01,207
♪ I reach for her hand ♪
163
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:06,796
♪ It's always there ♪
164
00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:11,634
♪ How long does it last? ♪
165
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:17,932
♪ Can love be measured
By the hours in a day? ♪
166
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:22,771
♪ I have no answers now
But this much I can say ♪
167
00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:24,230
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
168
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:31,571
♪ I know I'll need her
'Til the stars all burn away ♪
169
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:36,409
♪ And she'll be ♪
170
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:43,583
♪ There ♪
171
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,168
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
172
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,545
Mwah, mwah, mwah!
173
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:54,552
I wonder if we'll be called up
as witnesses at the trial.
174
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:55,679
What trial?
175
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:58,807
Well, you don't think
Andy's gonna take this lying down?
176
00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:02,602
Good number. Nice number.
177
00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:05,438
Oh, Kermiekins, don't be angry.
178
00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:07,857
You know how I hate romantic junk
like that.
179
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:11,569
Oh, congratulations, chief.
I wish you all the happiness in the world.
180
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:13,071
-Hm?
-You'll need it.
181
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:14,572
-Ha-ha-ha!
-Um, uh...
182
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,700
What was that all about?
183
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,535
[LAUGHS]
184
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:22,414
Um... Oh, that Scooter
and his dumb little jokes.
185
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:26,167
Hey, Kermit, me and the band
gonna play at the wedding?
186
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:27,335
What wedding?
187
00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:28,753
Well, I just heard the news
188
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:31,089
that you and Miss Fatback
was gonna tie the knot
189
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:33,508
and raise chitlins. Ha-ha-ha.
190
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:36,594
-Piggy!
-Um... Heh, heh.
191
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:39,264
Kermie, it's just a joke.
192
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:42,767
A joke? People think we're really engaged!
193
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,019
[GRUNTING]
194
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:47,897
Oh. It's so sweet sounding
when you say it.
195
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,483
Well, the engagement is off! Hi-yah!
196
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:51,609
[CLANGS]
197
00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,987
Hey. Hm.
198
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:56,239
Kermie? Dear? Dear? Sweetheart?
199
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,241
It's not like that. It's like this:
200
00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,534
Hi-yah!
201
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:00,869
[SCREAMS]
202
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,205
Hoo. Ugh.
203
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:07,250
[IN WEAK VOICE]
On-stage for the next number.
204
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:11,463
And now for this Muppet News Flash.
205
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:15,050
Bands of roving cheeses
have been reported at the edge of town,
206
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,926
moving towards city center.
207
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:22,432
The cheeses are reported to be smelly
and often in the company of crackers.
208
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:25,268
Uh, most of them
seem to be moving about on foot,
209
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:28,855
but some cheeses, naturally,
are in wheels.
210
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,523
[YELLS]
211
00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:33,735
[RATS CHITTERING]
212
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:38,239
NARRATOR: Time once again
for Veterinarian's Hospital,
213
00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:44,329
the continuing story of a quack
who's gone to the dogs.
214
00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:48,083
Well, who's the first patient,
Nurse Janice?
215
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,751
Here he is, Dr. Bob.
216
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:54,214
Aw. Dr. Bob, what a cute little bunny.
I wonder what his name is.
217
00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:57,300
Well, he hasn't said,
"Ehh, tsk tsk tsk, what's up, doc?"
218
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:58,968
so it isn't you-know-who.
219
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,136
[LAUGHS]
220
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,304
Who, doctor?
221
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:05,225
It's not Who Doctor, it's Doctor Who,
and that's another show.
222
00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:07,310
Oh, is he related to Dr. Which?
223
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,604
No, it's not "Dr. Which,"
it's "Witch Doctor,"
224
00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:11,481
and that's another ball game.
225
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:14,484
Oh, then Doctor Who's on first.
226
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,945
-Oh!
-Oh!
227
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:20,073
All I ask is the bunny's name,
and I get Abbott and Costello.
228
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:24,285
Look, can we get on with this?
I'm late, I'm late.
229
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:27,163
-For a very important date?
-Oh!
230
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,623
No, that's another rabbit.
231
00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:30,375
Oh, you're not the White Rabbit?
232
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,919
-No, I'm the wrong rabbit. Oh!
BOB & JANICE: Oh!
233
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:36,548
JANICE: For sure.
-Good grief, now it's Rabbit and Costello.
234
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:40,677
Dr. Bob, may I remind you
this is a hospital?
235
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:41,928
Ooh, I'm glad you did.
236
00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:44,597
The way the jokes were dying,
I thought it was a morgue.
237
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,141
[NURSES GROAN]
238
00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:48,685
Hey, Hurry up, will you?
I gotta get back to the hutch.
239
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:51,479
-The what?
-Hutch. That's where rabbits live.
240
00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:54,190
I know that. I even know where it is.
241
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,317
It's behind a famous cathedral.
242
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:57,444
NURSES:
Oh?
243
00:12:57,527 --> 00:13:00,780
You must have heard of it.
The hutch back of Notre-Dame?
244
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:03,116
[NURSES & RABBIT GROAN]
245
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,242
That rings a bell.
246
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:06,619
[ALL GROAN]
247
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:10,415
NARRATOR: And so we come to the end
of another Veterinarian's Hospital.
248
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:11,541
Good.
249
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,753
Tune in next week,
when you'll hear Nurse Janice say:
250
00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:18,673
Oh, Dr. Bob, that was really a long way
to go for that last joke.
251
00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:21,051
You should have packed a lunch.
252
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,720
I did. I ate it behind the cathedral.
253
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:24,804
NURSES & RABBIT:
Oh?
254
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:27,849
Yes, I had the lunch back of Notre-Dame.
255
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:32,854
-Oh! For sure, for sure.
-Did you hear that? The lunch back...
256
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,648
-Hi, Sam.
-Oh! Oh, yes, hello.
257
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:39,235
-Uh, still censoring the show, Sam?
-Yes, I am.
258
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,446
Have you seen what's happening
in the canteen?
259
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:42,989
-No.
-I've noted this down.
260
00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:47,577
There are 17 penguins rehearsing
for a tap-dance number.
261
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,454
-Oh, good.
-Good?
262
00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:51,122
That's what they're supposed to do.
263
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:53,541
That is not decent family entertainment
for the show.
264
00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:57,337
Hey, Sam, why do you do this?
265
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:59,047
Someone has to do it.
266
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:02,258
Hmm. But don't you have a home
or something like that?
267
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,386
Oh, yes, I have a family.
I'm married. Mm-hm.
268
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:06,388
-Really? You have a home?
-Mm-hm.
269
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:10,016
Yes, well, uh,
my wife and I are separated.
270
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:12,560
-Oh?
-She, uh, flew the coop.
271
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:17,273
-You have any, uh, kids?
-We were very close, though, very close.
272
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,441
-Oh, yeah?
-Mm.
273
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,985
-Well, what's her name?
-I forgot.
274
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,572
Oh. Uh, but do you have any kids?
275
00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:26,950
-Yes, I have two wonderful kids.
-Oh, mm-hm.
276
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,827
Who never write to me.
277
00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:30,537
-Uh...
-They're in college now.
278
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,455
Uh-huh. Uh, boys or girls?
279
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,416
Mm-hm, yes.
280
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:36,668
One boy. One boy, one girl.
281
00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:39,546
-Uh-huh, yeah. The boy's in college?
-Yes.
282
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:41,381
And what does he study?
283
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:44,384
I'd rather not talk about it.
He's, uhm studying, uh...
284
00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,178
taxidermy.
285
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,848
I see. I, uh, uh...
286
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:52,017
That's good, though, huh?
287
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,644
-No, it's not.
-Oh. No, that's not very good, no.
288
00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:56,646
You don't know how bad.
289
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,398
Well, how about your daughter?
290
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:01,276
I'd rather not talk about her either.
She's, uh...
291
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:04,863
She's living a rather high life there
in college.
292
00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:07,490
She's, uh, dating, uh...
293
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:08,908
an owl.
294
00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:11,036
[SHUDDERS]
295
00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:12,579
Woo-woo.
296
00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:14,956
-Exactly. Get back to this.
-Hmm.
297
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,917
What about this,
all this indecent family entertainment?
298
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:19,044
-Oh.
-There's--
299
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:20,170
Besides the penguins,
300
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,963
-there's dogs singing, and pigs,
-Mm-hm.
301
00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:24,215
and there's a cheese singing "Malagueña."
302
00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:25,383
Oh, the cheese!
303
00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:28,553
I gotta see if the cheese is ready.
Oh, cheese!
304
00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:30,764
You need not worry.
305
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,640
As long as Sam the Eagle is here,
306
00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:37,395
I shall protect you in the name
of decent family entertainment.
307
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:41,399
Yeah, but how'd you get started
in show business?
308
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:45,195
Well, Scooter, I started singing
with my brothers, my three brothers,
309
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,780
in Wall Lake, Iowa.
310
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:50,325
And we called ourselves
the Williams Brothers.
311
00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:52,827
Yeah. Clever. Clever name.
312
00:15:52,911 --> 00:15:55,580
Yeah. And we used to sing in church,
313
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:58,375
and then, uh,
we started singing on the radio.
314
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:01,294
Oh, I guess you sang
that old-style music, huh?
315
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:03,922
-What, like acid rock?
-Yeah, like acid...
316
00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:06,466
Well, this was way before that.
Way, way back.
317
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:09,386
We used to sing barbershop harmony.
318
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:12,138
Gee, I wish I'd heard that.
319
00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:19,312
-♪ You've all heard of Virginia ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Virginia ♪
320
00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:25,485
ALL:
♪ That noble Southern state ♪
321
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:32,867
-♪ Well, very often in Virginia ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Virginia ♪
322
00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:39,082
ALL: ♪ All the Southern folks
Get all dressed up ♪
323
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:45,964
♪ And celebrate ♪
324
00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:48,133
[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC]
325
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:52,846
♪ Better get ready, get ready
For the jubilee time ♪
326
00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:54,347
ALL:
♪ It's the jubilee time ♪
327
00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:57,017
♪ Better get ready, get ready
For the jubilee time ♪
328
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,727
ALL:
♪ It's the jubilee, the jubilee ♪
329
00:16:58,810 --> 00:17:01,062
♪ Get out your Bible book
Better get ready to sing ♪
330
00:17:01,146 --> 00:17:02,772
ALL:
♪ It's the jubilee, the jubilee ♪
331
00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:05,483
♪ Get out your Bible book
Better get ready to sing ♪
332
00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:06,860
ALL:
♪ It's the jubilee time ♪
333
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:10,780
♪ Folks is gonna be talkin' tonight
Folks is gonna be gawkin' tonight ♪
334
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,907
♪ Folks will be cake-walkin' tonight ♪
335
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:15,035
ALL:
♪ Hola, hola, it's jubilee time ♪
336
00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:18,955
♪ Hola, hola, it's jubilee time
Hola, it's jubilee time ♪
337
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:22,917
♪ Hola, hola, it's jubilee time
Hola, it's jubilee time ♪
338
00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:27,213
♪ There's gonna be hoopin' it up tonight
Hoop-dee-doin' it up tonight ♪
339
00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:30,050
♪ We're gonna rejoice ♪
340
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:35,805
♪ Hola, hola, it's jubilee time
Hola, it's jubilee time ♪
341
00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:39,225
♪ Hola, hola, it's jubilee time
Hola, it's jubilee time ♪
342
00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:43,563
♪ There's gonna be a jubilee ♪
343
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:46,858
♪ There's gonna be a jubilee ♪
344
00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:51,071
♪ Hola, hola, it's jubilee time
Hola, hola, jubilee time ♪
345
00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:53,239
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
346
00:17:57,619 --> 00:18:00,663
Hey, uh, what are all you cheeses
doing backstage?
347
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:04,084
Oh, we wanna try out for your show.
We sing.
348
00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:06,711
-Yeah? What do you sing?
-One, two, three.
349
00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:11,841
CHEESES: ♪ So you met somebody
That knocked you back on your heels ♪
350
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,218
♪ Gouda, Gouda ♪
351
00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:14,427
[CHEESES LAUGH]
352
00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:15,553
Or...
353
00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:19,432
CHEESES:
♪ I got a girl crazy for me ♪
354
00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:21,726
♪ "Cheese" funny that way ♪
355
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:23,103
[CHEESES LAUGH]
356
00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:25,021
-Wait, wait, listen to this.
-Hm?
357
00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:27,899
CHEESES:
♪ Pardon me, boys, is this the ♪
358
00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:29,776
♪ "Cheddarnooga" Choo Choo? ♪
359
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:32,320
[CHEESES LAUGHING]
360
00:18:32,404 --> 00:18:34,197
And what do you sing?
361
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,825
Oh, I don't sing. I'm in a TV series.
362
00:18:36,908 --> 00:18:37,992
Uh, what?
363
00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:39,577
The Roquefort Files.
364
00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:40,745
[CHEESES LAUGHING]
365
00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:45,166
Will you guys get out of here?
Out, out, out!
366
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:49,629
HONEYDEW:
Spoody-doody. Oh, Mr. Booty-Booters.
367
00:18:49,713 --> 00:18:51,297
Booty, booty, booty.
368
00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:53,842
Well, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew
369
00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:58,013
here at Muppet Labs,
where the future is being made today.
370
00:18:58,096 --> 00:19:03,351
It's a well-known fact that some people
like doggies and some people like kitties.
371
00:19:03,435 --> 00:19:05,645
[MEOWING]
372
00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:07,939
Up to now,
if you were given the wrong pet,
373
00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:09,524
you had to put up with it.
374
00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:13,319
But our new electronic pet converter
solves that problem.
375
00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:17,574
My assistant, Beaker, is putting
an unwanted kitty into the converter.
376
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,367
-Ah?
-Yes, go.
377
00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:20,910
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
378
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:22,704
[CAT YOWLING]
379
00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:24,914
[CAT HISSING]
380
00:19:26,875 --> 00:19:28,335
Oh, that's wonderful, Beaker.
381
00:19:28,418 --> 00:19:31,588
And now I throw the switch...
382
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:36,843
and out of the other side
comes a cute little puppy dog.
383
00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:39,554
[BARKING]
384
00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:42,265
And if you happen to like kitties
instead of doggies,
385
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,434
the converter works the other way.
386
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,769
Show them, Beaker.
387
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:48,646
-Bye-bye.
-Bon voyage.
388
00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:51,441
Now you can go get your kitty
on the other side...
389
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:52,609
[ROARS]
390
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,027
[BEAKER SCREAMING]
391
00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:57,322
Oh, dear!
There seems to be some sort of problem.
392
00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:59,157
[BEAKER SCREAMING]
393
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,743
Whoa, whoa. Unh!
394
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:06,623
The important thing to remember is that
anything that passes through this door
395
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:09,000
is turned into a puppy dog.
396
00:20:09,084 --> 00:20:10,502
Whoa!
397
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:12,587
[GASPS]
398
00:20:12,671 --> 00:20:14,172
[BARKING]
399
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:15,632
[BEAKER SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
400
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,384
[TIGER ROARS THEN BEAKER SCREAMS]
401
00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:19,886
That's all for now from Muppet Labs.
402
00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:22,430
Um, sit. Sit.
403
00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:27,435
It's really neat to be sitting here
to do a medley with Andy Williams.
404
00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:30,814
-Just like you used to do on your show.
-Well, thank you, Kermit.
405
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:33,733
Uh, listen, by the way,
may I ask you a question?
406
00:20:33,817 --> 00:20:35,652
Why, sure, what?
407
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,696
How do you do it?
408
00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:39,864
Do what?
You mean sit on a stool like this?
409
00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:42,283
Why, uh, any frog can do that.
410
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:45,245
Well, I knew that toads could, but, uh...
411
00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:47,205
Toads? What do you mean, toads?
412
00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:51,418
Well, surely you've heard of toadstools.
413
00:20:51,501 --> 00:20:53,586
[CHORTLING]
414
00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:00,385
You're still mad at me, aren't you?
415
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:02,929
Well, you did do "Love Story"
instead of "Moon River."
416
00:21:03,013 --> 00:21:06,683
Well, that was Miss Piggy.
I mean, she told me you were engaged.
417
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,185
Yeah, well, it was very embarrassing.
418
00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:10,979
Well...
419
00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:14,232
would it make you feel any better
if you embarrassed me?
420
00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:17,610
-Oh, well... No, no...
-Well, go ahead. Go ahead.
421
00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:20,864
-Oh, no, I couldn't do that.
-I can take it.
422
00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:23,700
Okay. Uh, let's see. Uh...
423
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,744
Uh, I don't like your coat.
424
00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:29,414
Good. Does that make you feel better?
425
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:31,499
Yeah. Yeah, now let's do the medley, huh?
426
00:21:31,583 --> 00:21:32,959
-Okay.
-Mm-hm.
427
00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:37,047
What don't you like about my coat?
428
00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:39,507
[STAMMERS]
429
00:21:39,591 --> 00:21:41,760
-Nothing. I was just saying that.
-Tell me.
430
00:21:41,843 --> 00:21:44,971
Is it the sleeves or the lapels
or the shoulders or what?
431
00:21:45,055 --> 00:21:48,016
No, no, no. I-- Just forget that, huh?
432
00:21:49,059 --> 00:21:50,393
You're right.
433
00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:53,313
I mean, what would you know
about clothes anyway?
434
00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:55,398
All you wear is that stupid collar.
435
00:21:55,482 --> 00:21:57,901
[WHIMPERING]
436
00:21:57,984 --> 00:22:00,487
It's a wonder you haven't been arrested.
437
00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:02,697
Okay, that does it. Start the music.
438
00:22:02,781 --> 00:22:04,616
[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC]
439
00:22:04,699 --> 00:22:07,285
I'm only kidding, Kermit.
I love your collar.
440
00:22:07,369 --> 00:22:10,747
Oh. Well, actually, I like your coat too.
441
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:12,415
Well, thanks.
442
00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:14,626
Except for the buttons.
443
00:22:14,709 --> 00:22:19,714
The buttons. I knew it was the buttons.
I knew it.
444
00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:22,926
BOTH:
♪ Two of a kind ♪
445
00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:27,097
♪ For your information
We're two of a kind ♪
446
00:22:28,682 --> 00:22:30,308
♪ Two of a kind ♪
447
00:22:30,392 --> 00:22:34,479
♪ It's my observation
We're two of a kind ♪
448
00:22:36,231 --> 00:22:39,693
-♪ Frogs in a pond ♪
-♪ And birds of a feather ♪
449
00:22:39,776 --> 00:22:42,237
BOTH:
♪ Alone or together, you'll find ♪
450
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:48,618
♪ That we are two of a kind ♪
451
00:22:51,746 --> 00:22:54,916
♪ I like the swamp in June ♪
452
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,585
♪ How about you? ♪
453
00:22:59,212 --> 00:23:02,465
♪ I like a Gershwin tune ♪
454
00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:06,428
♪ How about you? ♪
455
00:23:06,511 --> 00:23:13,268
♪ I love a lily pad when a storm is due ♪
456
00:23:13,351 --> 00:23:17,647
-♪ I like potato chips ♪
-♪ Mudflats and skinny-dips ♪
457
00:23:17,731 --> 00:23:20,984
BOTH:
♪ How about you? ♪
458
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:24,487
♪ I don't believe in
Frettin' or grievin' ♪
459
00:23:24,571 --> 00:23:27,907
♪ Why mess around with strife? ♪
460
00:23:27,991 --> 00:23:31,911
♪ I never was cut out
To step and strut out ♪
461
00:23:31,995 --> 00:23:35,373
♪ Give me the simple life ♪
462
00:23:35,457 --> 00:23:39,336
♪ Some find it pleasant
Dining on pheasant ♪
463
00:23:39,419 --> 00:23:42,797
♪ Those things roll off my knife ♪
464
00:23:42,881 --> 00:23:46,468
♪ I dine on mosquito
Flies are a treat ♪
465
00:23:46,551 --> 00:23:49,846
♪ Oh, give me the simple life ♪
466
00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:51,848
♪ I love a piano ♪
467
00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:53,641
BOTH:
♪ I love a piano ♪
468
00:23:53,725 --> 00:23:57,270
♪ I love to hear somebody play ♪
469
00:23:57,354 --> 00:24:00,982
♪ Upon a piano, a grand piano ♪
470
00:24:01,066 --> 00:24:04,694
♪ It simply carries me away ♪
471
00:24:04,778 --> 00:24:08,323
♪ So you ca keep your fiddle
And your bow ♪
472
00:24:08,406 --> 00:24:12,035
-♪ Give me a P-I-A-N-O ♪
-♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
473
00:24:12,118 --> 00:24:15,830
♪ I love to stop right
Beside an upright ♪
474
00:24:15,914 --> 00:24:19,751
♪ Or a high-toned baby grand ♪
475
00:24:19,834 --> 00:24:21,753
BOTH:
♪ We're two of a kind ♪
476
00:24:21,836 --> 00:24:26,049
♪ There's just no denyin'
We're two of a kind ♪
477
00:24:27,592 --> 00:24:29,135
♪ Two of a kind ♪
478
00:24:29,219 --> 00:24:33,056
♪ Without even tryin'
We're two of a kind ♪
479
00:24:34,683 --> 00:24:38,186
-♪ Makin' it plain ♪
-♪ Explainin' it fully ♪
480
00:24:38,269 --> 00:24:40,855
BOTH:
♪ We're similar-lar-ly inclined ♪
481
00:24:40,939 --> 00:24:45,777
♪ Because we're two of a kind ♪
482
00:24:45,860 --> 00:24:48,279
Uh, except, of course, that I'm a frog.
483
00:24:49,698 --> 00:24:52,450
BOTH:
♪ Two ♪
484
00:24:52,534 --> 00:24:59,833
♪ Two of kind ♪
485
00:25:00,959 --> 00:25:03,044
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
486
00:25:07,966 --> 00:25:11,511
Okay, that is approximately sort of
what you might call the end of the show.
487
00:25:11,594 --> 00:25:15,015
But before we go, let us say thank you
to our wonderful guest star.
488
00:25:15,098 --> 00:25:16,933
Ladies and gentlemen, Andy Williams!
489
00:25:17,017 --> 00:25:18,351
[CHEERING]
490
00:25:18,435 --> 00:25:20,520
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
491
00:25:23,606 --> 00:25:25,942
-Kermit, I had a great time.
-Oh, good.
492
00:25:26,026 --> 00:25:28,153
And I loved the Muppet cheese.
493
00:25:28,236 --> 00:25:30,739
Uh, yeah.
Well, listen, if you liked the cheese,
494
00:25:30,822 --> 00:25:32,657
did you get to meet the rats?
495
00:25:32,741 --> 00:25:36,870
Well, rats can be fun,
but cheese can be "fundue."
496
00:25:36,953 --> 00:25:39,039
[CHEESES LAUGHING]
497
00:25:39,122 --> 00:25:41,583
That's our kind of humor, eh?
498
00:25:41,666 --> 00:25:44,794
We'll see you next time
on The Muppet Show!
499
00:25:44,878 --> 00:25:46,963
[ALL CHATTERING]
500
00:25:47,047 --> 00:25:49,132
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
501
00:26:21,915 --> 00:26:23,708
-I'm gonna see my lawyer.
-Why?
502
00:26:23,792 --> 00:26:27,545
I'm gonna find out if you can sue a show
for breach of taste.
37371
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
