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1
00:00:00,125 --> 00:00:01,167
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
2
00:00:01,251 --> 00:00:02,794
DYAN:
Come in.
3
00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:06,131
Dyan Cannon.
Fifteen seconds to curtain, Dyan.
4
00:00:06,214 --> 00:00:07,507
Oh, hi, Scooter.
5
00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:10,468
Thank you. Warn me
when it's time to go on-stage, will you?
6
00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:12,512
Oh, well, that's not for a long time.
7
00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:14,347
First you gotta worry about the curtain.
8
00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:16,349
Oh, no, I don't.
9
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:17,976
[SCREAMS]
10
00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:20,562
Yes, you do.
11
00:00:22,313 --> 00:00:25,150
It's The Muppet Show,
with our very special guest star,
12
00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:27,444
Dyan Cannon. Whoo!
13
00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:30,405
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
14
00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:44,502
♪ It's time to play the music ♪
15
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,671
♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
16
00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,548
♪ It's time to get things started ♪
17
00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:50,800
♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪
18
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,385
[DOG BARKS]
19
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:55,263
Who let that dog loose in here?
20
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:59,684
♪ It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
21
00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:02,062
♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
22
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:04,731
♪ This is what we call ♪
23
00:01:04,814 --> 00:01:08,360
♪ The Muppet Show ♪
24
00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,488
[PHONE RINGING]
25
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,741
Hello?
26
00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:16,242
He's not home.
27
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:19,371
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
28
00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:23,124
Thank you, thank you, thank you,
and welcome again to The Muppet Show.
29
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,418
We've got a wonderful show for you tonight
30
00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:28,838
because our very special guest star
is Miss Dyan Cannon.
31
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But first, to get things started--
32
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[BARKING]
33
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:33,551
What is this?
34
00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:38,264
A dog? Uh, Piggy! Piggy!
Will you come take your dog off the stage?
35
00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:39,391
Get down.
36
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,184
Isn't that adorable?
37
00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:44,396
It is not adorable.
The dog is on the stage.
38
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:48,858
Is the funny, furry Foo-Foo
on Dada's stage?
39
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,778
I am not this dog's dada, Piggy!
40
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:54,823
Oh, pardonez us, everyone.
41
00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:57,409
"Pardonez us, everyone"? What's that?
42
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,619
That is French.
43
00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:01,913
Pardonez us, everyone.
44
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,959
All vous knows is swamp talk.
45
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,671
Will you just get this dog off the stage?
46
00:02:09,754 --> 00:02:13,216
Kermie, Kermie, Foo-Foo only wants
to say hello to Dada.
47
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:15,093
He wants to rip off my flipper.
48
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:17,012
Oh, make friends, make friends.
49
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:19,472
Say "ooh-dee-boo."
Say "ooh-dee-boo-boo-boo."
50
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:21,016
Say what?
51
00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,143
Say "ooh-dee-boo-boo-boo-boo"?
52
00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:25,812
Ooh-dee-boo-boo-boo.
Now will you get off the stage?
53
00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:27,939
-Oh, come here, Foo-Foo.
-Off, off!
54
00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:31,401
Oh, let's leave old, bad-tempered froggy
alone now.
55
00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:33,528
-Ooh-dee-boo-boo-boo.
-Ooh-dee--
56
00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:36,489
Dumb dog.
57
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:40,785
Anyhow, as an opening number, you know,
there are a lot of complaints today
58
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:44,205
about wild-eyed youths
playing mindless rock.
59
00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:45,582
Well, to counteract that
60
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:48,668
here are some wild-eyed old people
playing mindless rock.
61
00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:52,047
Ladies and gentlemen,
Geri and the Atrics! Yay!
62
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,132
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
63
00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:55,675
[PLAYING "HOUND DOG"]
64
00:02:57,218 --> 00:03:00,263
♪ You ain't nothing but a hound dog ♪
65
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:03,099
♪ Crying all the time ♪
66
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:06,311
♪ You ain't nothing but a hound dog ♪
67
00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:09,022
♪ Crying all the time ♪
68
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:14,611
♪ Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit
And you ain't no friend of mine ♪
69
00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:18,198
♪ When they said you was high-classed ♪
70
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,617
♪ Well, that was just a lie ♪
71
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:24,037
♪ When they said you was high-classed ♪
72
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,664
♪ Well, that was just a lie ♪
73
00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:31,503
♪ Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit
And you ain't no friend of... ♪
74
00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:35,674
♪ You ain't nothing but a hound dog ♪
75
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,967
♪ Crying all the time ♪
76
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:41,262
♪ You ain't nothing but a hound dog ♪
77
00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:43,473
♪ Crying all the time ♪
78
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:46,476
♪ You have never caught a rabbit ♪
79
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,395
♪ And you're certainly
Not a friend of mine ♪
80
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,397
[BARKING]
81
00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:07,580
Come on, girls.
82
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:10,542
♪ You ain't nothing but a hound dog ♪
83
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:13,294
♪ Crying all the time ♪
84
00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:16,506
♪ You ain't nothing but a hound dog ♪
85
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,675
♪ Crying all the time ♪
86
00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:25,015
♪ Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit
And you ain't no friend of mine ♪
87
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:33,106
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
88
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:38,778
Bravo, bravo! Oh, they were terrific.
89
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:39,904
Well, they should be.
90
00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:42,198
They've been practicing since 1908.
91
00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:48,246
Okay. Good work, Geri.
Nicely wheezed, Atrics.
92
00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:52,083
Why, don't that song just break
your heart?
93
00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:55,795
No, but it slows down my pacemaker.
94
00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:58,048
-Kermie, Kermie, Kermie, Kermie.
-Hm?
95
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,550
I have to go rehearse
Veterinarian's Hospital.
96
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,844
Would you please watch Foo-Foo
for a while?
97
00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:04,220
Thank you. Stay.
98
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,347
[STAMMERING]
99
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:07,849
Yeah, but, Piggy, you can't just--
100
00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:09,100
[WHIMPERS]
101
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:10,226
Oh, good grief.
102
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,270
Hey, let's go see this jungle number.
103
00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:14,981
Wait a second.
I have to go introduce Dyan Cannon.
104
00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:17,150
Would you take care of Foo-Foo, Scooter?
105
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:20,779
I have to tell Dyan she's on.
Take care of Foo-Foo, Fozzie.
106
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:25,492
Uh, listen...
uh, I've got a date with a polar bear.
107
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:27,452
Take care of Foo-Foo, Gonzo.
108
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:32,248
Oh, I've got an anvil in the oven.
109
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,125
Take care of Foo-Foo, Floyd.
110
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:36,127
I think I got the whooping cough.
111
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:39,005
Take care of Foo-Foo, will you, uh...?
112
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:40,840
Oh, no.
113
00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,050
[BARKS]
114
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:45,053
[MIMICS FANFARE]
115
00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:47,847
[FANFARE PLAYS]
116
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:49,724
That's what I said.
117
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:53,853
Uh, ladies and gentlemen, with us tonight
is one of Hollywood's nicest ladies.
118
00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:56,356
She's a wonderful actress,
a terrific director,
119
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:58,858
and a doer of goofy stuff,
like the following.
120
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,902
Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Dyan Cannon!
121
00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:02,487
Yay!
122
00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:04,656
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
123
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:09,119
[DRUMS BEATING AND BIRDS SINGING]
124
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:18,878
[YELLING]
125
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:27,137
♪ Oh, bongo, bongo, bongo
I don't want to leave the Congo ♪
126
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,472
♪ Oh, no, no, no, no, no ♪
127
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,057
♪ Isn't that right, darling? ♪
128
00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:36,521
♪ Oh, bingle, bangle, bungle
We're so happy in this jungle ♪
129
00:06:36,604 --> 00:06:39,274
♪ We refuse to go ♪
130
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,280
[SCREAMS]
131
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,582
♪ Don't want no bright lights ♪
132
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:59,586
♪ False teeth, doorbells, landlords
We make it clear ♪
133
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:03,173
♪ That no matter how they coax us ♪
134
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:06,134
♪ We'll stay right here ♪
135
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:08,219
[MONKEYS GIBBERING]
136
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:14,768
♪ They hurry like savages
To get aboard a subway train ♪
137
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:21,232
♪ And though it's smoky and it's crowded
They are too civilized to complain ♪
138
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:27,572
♪ At the movies they have got
To pay many coconuts to see ♪
139
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:34,412
♪ Uncivilized pictures
That the camera takes of me ♪
140
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:42,879
♪ Oh, bongo, bongo, bongo
We don't want to leave the Congo ♪
141
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,006
♪ Oh, no, no, no, no, no ♪
142
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:49,386
♪ Oh, bingle, bangle, bungle
We're so happy in the jungle ♪
143
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,721
♪ We refuse to go ♪
144
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:56,393
♪ Don't want no penthouse
Bathtub, discos, taxis ♪
145
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,144
♪ Noise in our ear ♪
146
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:03,900
♪ So no matter how they coax us
We'll stay right here ♪
147
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,487
[ANIMALS VOCALIZING]
148
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:55,368
♪ Oh, bongo, bongo, bongo
We don't want to leave the Congo ♪
149
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,370
♪ Oh, no, no, no, no, no ♪
150
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,791
♪ Bingle, bangle, bungle
We're so happy in the jungle ♪
151
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:04,002
♪ We refuse to go ♪
152
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:07,047
♪ Don't want no shotgun, jailhouse ♪
153
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:08,715
-♪ Junk food ♪
-♪ Punk rock ♪
154
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:10,467
-♪ Sitcoms ♪
-♪ Liquor bottle ♪
155
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,260
-♪ Smokestacks ♪
-♪ White wine ♪
156
00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:14,012
-♪ Freeways ♪
-♪ Beer cans ♪
157
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,638
♪ Muppet shows ♪
158
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:18,308
♪ We'll make it clear ♪
159
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:21,102
♪ That no matter how they coax us ♪
160
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:24,856
♪ We'll stay right here ♪
161
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:27,650
♪ Civilization ♪
162
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:34,324
♪ We'll stay right here ♪
163
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,660
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
164
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,792
Was that Dyan?
165
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:46,086
Sure it was. Didn't you recognize her?
166
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,838
I thought she wore a black patch
over one eye.
167
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,841
No, that's her sister, Marsha Dyan.
168
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:57,889
Okay, Dyan is in good form tonight.
169
00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:01,309
-Ah, drum lady. Drum lady.
-Yes.
170
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:03,395
-Hubba-hubba!
-Mm.
171
00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,980
Drum lady, drum lady.
172
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:09,401
Floyd and Gonzo, on-stage
for the doggie in the window number.
173
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,236
[DOGS BARKING AND GONZO WHISTLES]
174
00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:13,196
-What?
-Hold it! Hold it!
175
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,824
Cancel the number. Floyd can't perform.
176
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:17,909
Okay, cancel the doggie number.
177
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:19,035
[DOGS HOWLING]
178
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:22,914
Out, out, out. Come on, back, dog.
Back, back, back to the kennels.
179
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,624
What's wrong with Floyd, Gonzo?
180
00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:27,961
Nothing. He's promised
to take care of Miss Piggy's puppy dog.
181
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,422
Oh, good grief. That dog is a pain.
182
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:35,093
Well, Kermit, can't you do something?
I mean, you're the dog's dada.
183
00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:36,636
[GROANS]
184
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,389
I am not that dog's dada!
185
00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:46,688
That's it, Foo-Foo, come to Momma.
All the way down.
186
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,690
[PIGGY BABY-TALKS]
187
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,692
Yes, here, I'll help you up.
188
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:51,818
[GRUNTS]
189
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:57,365
There. Now, Floyd, you only have
to watch over Foo-Foo for a little while.
190
00:10:57,449 --> 00:11:00,160
Just until I've done
Veterinarian's Hospital.
191
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:01,953
Well, make it fast, okay?
192
00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:03,955
Mm-hm. Okay, now just remember,
193
00:11:04,039 --> 00:11:06,624
all of Foo-Foo's things
are right here on the table.
194
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:11,171
There's her brush,
and there's her angora sweater.
195
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:12,630
[GROWLS THEN BARKS]
196
00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:17,344
-Ha! Isn't that cute?
-Heh. Yeah.
197
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:21,681
Oh, and there is her little bowl
and her little spoon.
198
00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:24,517
You want I should spoon feed her?
199
00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:31,941
Oh, oh, oh, Floyd,
don't forget her dental floss right there.
200
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,234
-What?
-Mm-hm.
201
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,570
Especially around her back teeth.
202
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:38,740
Little bits of lamb chops get stuck there.
203
00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:41,868
I don't believe this.
204
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:43,703
-[BARKING]
-Hey!
205
00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:45,789
-Floyd?
-Yes, yes.
206
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:49,000
Now, you two have a wonderful time.
207
00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:51,378
Kissy kissy, Foo-Foo.
208
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:54,464
Don't worry your head, mama.
We're gonna have a swell time,
209
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,007
me and little puppy Foo-Foo here.
210
00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:59,386
Yeah, I got the brush to brush her,
the coat to keep her warm,
211
00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:04,057
the spoon to feed her, and a nice,
safe place to keep the little puppy dog.
212
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,392
[CHUCKLES]
213
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:06,476
Yes, indeed.
214
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,061
[GROWLING]
215
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:12,190
Breathe through the keyhole, turkey dog.
216
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:18,655
NARRATOR:
And now, Veterinarian's Hospital,
217
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:24,160
the continuing story of a quack
who's gone to the dogs.
218
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,161
Tickle, tickle, tickle.
219
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,789
Tickle, tickle, tickle.
220
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:30,500
You know, this patient looks
like my last patient.
221
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,168
I know she does, but it isn't.
222
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,920
This one's still breathing.
223
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:38,508
Does that mean I still have a chance?
224
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,385
Well, you did till you came in here.
225
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:45,181
-Dr. Bob, this is an elderly patient.
-Hm?
226
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,517
I hope you don't do any jokes
about her age.
227
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,770
If I can't do old jokes,
you're taking away my best shots.
228
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,773
Your only shots.
229
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:56,735
Lady, how old are you?
230
00:12:56,818 --> 00:13:00,530
Young man, I am an octogenarian.
231
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,323
I asked your age, not your religion.
232
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,911
-Dr. Bob.
-I just wanted to make a little joke.
233
00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:08,913
Did you want to make it that little?
234
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:15,462
Young man, young man,
do you know what an octogenarian is?
235
00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:18,506
Sure. You're like a vegetarian,
only you eat octopuses.
236
00:13:20,175 --> 00:13:23,094
Dr. Bob, please. This patient is dying.
237
00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:25,555
She's dying? We're all dying.
238
00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:29,100
We need a little help
from the man upstairs.
239
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:33,063
NARRATOR: And so we come to the end
of another Veterinarian's Hospital.
240
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,189
Thank you.
241
00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:37,317
Tune in next week
when you'll hear Nurse Piggy say:
242
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:41,321
Oh, Dr. Bob,
the patient is at death's door.
243
00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:43,782
Don't worry. I'll pull her through.
244
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:48,912
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
245
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:52,082
-Mm-hm. Come in.
-Hey, Dyan. Is everything okay?
246
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,000
Hi, Kermit. Sure, everything's fine.
247
00:13:54,084 --> 00:13:56,086
Uh, is the wig all right?
248
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:59,631
I was going to ask you about that.
I'm not wearing a wig in the show.
249
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:02,092
Oh, no, it's not to wear.
250
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,094
It's a, uh, pet wig.
251
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,553
[GROWLING]
252
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:12,477
Uh, it belongs to Smiling Jim Sepulveda
and his Tap-Dancing Toupees.
253
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,063
I've never seen a pet wig.
What do you feed them?
254
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:17,816
Oh, anything. Uh, table scraps mostly.
255
00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:19,442
-Really? Table scraps?
-Mm-hm.
256
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:20,568
You mean, uh...
257
00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:21,945
[DISHES BREAKING]
258
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,739
Like this?
259
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,459
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
260
00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:40,463
[PLAYING MELANCHOLY MELODY]
261
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:44,718
Now, here's a lovely song
262
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:48,430
that's about an old dog friend of mine
263
00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:50,473
who's no longer with us.
264
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:52,976
His name was...
265
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,311
Well, his name was Trey.
266
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:57,313
And it goes like this.
267
00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:01,526
♪ What gentler eye ♪
268
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:05,655
♪ What nobler heart ♪
269
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:10,952
♪ Doth warm the winter's day ♪
270
00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:16,374
♪ Than the true blue orb ♪
271
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:20,712
♪ And the oaken core ♪
272
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:27,093
♪ Of beloved Old Dog Trey ♪
273
00:15:27,177 --> 00:15:29,095
[DOGS HOWLING TO MELODY]
274
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:57,707
Modulate!
275
00:15:57,791 --> 00:16:01,878
♪ What gentler eye ♪
276
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:05,632
♪ What nobler heart ♪
277
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:10,595
♪ Doth warm the winter's day ♪
278
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:15,642
♪ Than the true blue orb ♪
279
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:20,814
♪ And the oaken core ♪
280
00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:23,942
♪ Of beloved ♪
281
00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:29,989
♪ Old Dog Trey ♪
282
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,994
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
283
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,462
[SINGING GIBBERISH]
284
00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:52,012
♪ Bork, bork, bork ♪
285
00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:55,306
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
286
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:59,394
...hotty doggy.
287
00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:08,445
...hotty potty. Woo-woo-woo.
288
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:15,160
Doggy into the potty.
289
00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:19,956
VOICE:
Psst. Psst. Psst.
290
00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:23,960
-Hello? Huh?
-Psst. Psst. Psst.
291
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,962
Chef, Chef, Chef.
292
00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:29,341
Have you seen Foo-Foo?
293
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:33,136
-Foo-Foo?
-Foo-Foo, my dog, you twit.
294
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,346
-Dog?
-Yes.
295
00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:37,223
Oh! The dog is in the potty.
296
00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:40,477
-What?
-Yeah. Eat doggy, yeah?
297
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,228
What--? Foo-Foo! Why...?!
298
00:17:42,312 --> 00:17:43,730
Hi-yah!
299
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:47,108
[CHEF CHUCKLES]
300
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,403
Piggy eatie hot doggy?
301
00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,156
I don't understand him.
302
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:56,451
Why doesn't he go back to what he
was doing before he became a chef?
303
00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:58,036
-What was that?
-Nothing.
304
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:03,500
-Foo-Foo!
DYAN: Piggy, Miss Piggy.
305
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:04,626
Foo-Foo.
306
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:08,046
Oh, Miss Piggy, did you see
the fantastic dance set Kermit did?
307
00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:11,257
-What's the matter, darling?
-Foo-Foo.
308
00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:14,302
Foo-Foo, yes, your dog.
I hear she's absolutely adorable.
309
00:18:14,386 --> 00:18:16,054
-Gone!
-What do you mean, gone?
310
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:17,681
I can't find Foo-Foo anywhere.
311
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,308
Wait a minute,
she's bound to show up, isn't she?
312
00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:22,435
No, you mustn't cry now.
Come on, calm down.
313
00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:23,770
Oh, help me.
314
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:26,439
-Where are your tissues?
-They're in the drawer.
315
00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:29,984
-Over here? Piggy, come on now, calm down.
-[WHIMPERING]
316
00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:31,486
Here, sweetheart.
317
00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:34,531
Let me dry your eyes. Give me a blow now.
318
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:39,411
Good, darling. You dry off.
You must contain yourself.
319
00:18:39,494 --> 00:18:43,206
Uh, Piggy, Dyan, on-stage
for your big production number, please.
320
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,208
-All right. Now, come on.
-Oh, I can't.
321
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,544
Oh, Dyan, I must find Foo-Foo first.
322
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,587
-Piggy, it's time to do the number.
-I can't.
323
00:18:49,671 --> 00:18:50,880
-No.
-Now, listen to me.
324
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:54,217
Do you know where you are?
I think you've forgotten where you are.
325
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:57,846
Piggy, this is the theater,
and you are a star.
326
00:18:57,929 --> 00:18:59,806
Now, you must go on, Piggy.
327
00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:02,809
I mean, the whole world expects it of you,
don't they?
328
00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:07,105
Your loyal fans expect it of you, Piggy.
Your frog expects it of you.
329
00:19:07,188 --> 00:19:09,024
[PIGGY HUMMING]
330
00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:14,154
Yes, yes, you must look away
from the tragedy.
331
00:19:14,237 --> 00:19:18,408
You must fight back the tears
and you must look to the footlights.
332
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:24,289
Yes, Piggy. Yes, this is your legend
and this is your life.
333
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:25,999
-Yes, Dyan.
-Yes.
334
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:28,251
-Hand me my wrap.
-Yes, your wrap.
335
00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:31,379
I shall go on as a superstar.
336
00:19:31,463 --> 00:19:34,007
Yes, yes. Here you are.
337
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,760
Thank you, Dyan. Thank you, Foo-Foo.
338
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,053
Foo-Foo!
339
00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:40,847
-Oh, Foo-Foo. Foo-Foo, she's come back.
-Oh, Foo-Foo.
340
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:42,557
She's come back to you.
341
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:45,352
Uh, excuse me.
Uh, listen, you guys took so long,
342
00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:47,604
so we had to cancel the number.
343
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,190
BOTH:
Cancel the number?
344
00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:51,483
Why, you!
345
00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:54,110
Piggy, wait a second. I can explain-- Aah!
346
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:55,653
[CRASHING]
347
00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:59,157
Do you think this show constitutes
cruelty to animals?
348
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,034
Not unless they're watching it.
349
00:20:03,078 --> 00:20:05,872
Drums! My drums, my drums!
350
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:08,541
Uh, no, no, no, Animal.
Those are practice drums.
351
00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:10,502
They're Dyan Cannon's.
352
00:20:10,585 --> 00:20:12,337
-Cannons?
-Mm-hm.
353
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:15,006
My cannons! My cannons!
354
00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:17,509
No, no, no, they are drums.
355
00:20:17,592 --> 00:20:20,470
My drums! My drums!
356
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:21,721
I give up.
357
00:20:21,805 --> 00:20:23,473
Frog give up.
358
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,433
Will you get out of here?
359
00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:28,269
Floyd, aren't you in the band
for the closing number?
360
00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:33,525
Mm-mm. Can't, man. I promised I'd go
have a chat with the pork princess.
361
00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:38,029
Oh, boy. If I were Floyd,
I wouldn't do that,
362
00:20:38,113 --> 00:20:40,115
because maybe Miss Piggy has realized
363
00:20:40,198 --> 00:20:43,159
that he's the one that stuffed Foo-Foo
into the drawer.
364
00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:44,786
PIGGY:
Hi-yah!
365
00:20:48,832 --> 00:20:50,458
Uh, strike the "maybe."
366
00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:55,380
[FANFARE PLAYS]
367
00:20:55,463 --> 00:20:57,465
Uh, well, folks, I suppose you've noticed
368
00:20:57,549 --> 00:21:00,552
that there have been a lot of canines
on tonight's show.
369
00:21:00,635 --> 00:21:04,889
Uh, in fact, I suppose you could say
that the whole show has gone to the dogs.
370
00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:09,060
Uh, you could say that,
but I certainly wouldn't.
371
00:21:09,144 --> 00:21:10,770
Why not say it?
372
00:21:10,854 --> 00:21:15,483
Some folks think going to the dogs
is a very good thing.
373
00:21:16,818 --> 00:21:19,654
Indeed, indeed. Uh, my feelings exactly.
374
00:21:19,738 --> 00:21:21,573
-Uh, thank you. sir.
-Hm.
375
00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:26,494
Uh, that's why we've sent our guest star
down to the pet shop,
376
00:21:26,578 --> 00:21:30,623
and here she is, ladies and gentlemen,
Miss Dyan Cannon! Yay!
377
00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:32,667
[DOGS BARKING]
378
00:21:32,751 --> 00:21:34,753
[BAND PLAYING "BIG SPENDER"]
379
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:41,468
♪ The minute I walked in the joint ♪
380
00:21:42,552 --> 00:21:46,181
♪ We could see
You were a girl of distinction ♪
381
00:21:46,264 --> 00:21:48,308
♪ A real big spender ♪
382
00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:52,729
♪ Good looking, so refined ♪
383
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:57,400
♪ Say wouldn't you like to know
What's going on in my mind? ♪
384
00:21:57,484 --> 00:21:59,486
♪ So let me get right to the point ♪
385
00:22:00,737 --> 00:22:06,576
♪ I don't pop my cork
For every dog I see ♪
386
00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:08,953
♪ Hey, big spender ♪
387
00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:11,331
[HOWLING]
388
00:22:11,414 --> 00:22:17,003
♪ Spend a little time with me ♪
389
00:22:18,797 --> 00:22:23,259
♪ Wouldn't you like to have
Fun, fun, fun? ♪
390
00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:27,889
♪ How's about a few laughs, laughs? ♪
391
00:22:27,972 --> 00:22:32,352
♪ I can show you a good time ♪
392
00:22:32,435 --> 00:22:36,356
♪ Let us show you a good time ♪
393
00:22:41,736 --> 00:22:43,196
Yes, you, too.
394
00:22:44,239 --> 00:22:46,282
Hi, sweetheart.
395
00:22:46,366 --> 00:22:51,246
You're so handsome here, aren't you?
Aren't you handsome?
396
00:23:10,432 --> 00:23:15,854
♪ Wouldn't you like to be mine? ♪
397
00:23:15,937 --> 00:23:17,063
♪ Yours? ♪
398
00:23:18,356 --> 00:23:20,233
♪ Mine ♪
399
00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:23,987
♪ We could have a good time ♪
400
00:23:25,030 --> 00:23:26,072
♪ Fine ♪
401
00:23:26,740 --> 00:23:27,824
♪ Time ♪
402
00:23:29,701 --> 00:23:34,664
♪ I could get you a big bone ♪
403
00:23:36,332 --> 00:23:42,589
♪ Would you take me to your home? ♪
404
00:23:42,672 --> 00:23:43,965
♪ Oh, yes ♪
405
00:23:45,383 --> 00:23:48,178
♪ The minute you walked in the shop ♪
406
00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:54,142
♪ I could see you were
A dog of distinction ♪
407
00:23:54,225 --> 00:23:56,061
♪ A real class spaniel ♪
408
00:23:57,103 --> 00:24:00,482
♪ Good looking, so refined ♪
409
00:24:01,107 --> 00:24:04,819
♪ I'm sure you know by now
What's going on in my mind ♪
410
00:24:04,903 --> 00:24:07,364
♪ So let me get right to the point ♪
411
00:24:08,531 --> 00:24:13,536
♪ I don't wag my tail
For every girl I see ♪
412
00:24:14,829 --> 00:24:16,831
♪ Hey, big spender ♪
413
00:24:19,250 --> 00:24:21,336
♪ Hey, big spender ♪
414
00:24:23,963 --> 00:24:25,840
♪ Hey, big spender ♪
415
00:24:28,551 --> 00:24:31,137
♪ Spend ♪
416
00:24:31,221 --> 00:24:33,765
♪ A little time with me ♪
417
00:24:35,809 --> 00:24:38,353
♪ I'll take you home with me ♪
418
00:24:40,313 --> 00:24:42,857
♪ We'll live so happily ♪
419
00:24:47,362 --> 00:24:49,489
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
420
00:24:55,704 --> 00:24:59,666
Okay, well, it has been quite a show
and I have certainly had a good time.
421
00:24:59,749 --> 00:25:04,337
Kermie, Kermie, Kermie.
Oh! Oh! Oh, I found Foo-Foo. Aw.
422
00:25:04,421 --> 00:25:06,297
Uh, so much for good times.
423
00:25:06,381 --> 00:25:09,342
Hey, guys, has anybody seen Floyd?
424
00:25:09,426 --> 00:25:12,262
Oh, don't worry about Floyd.
425
00:25:12,345 --> 00:25:15,140
He can breathe through the keyhole.
426
00:25:15,223 --> 00:25:16,641
What?
427
00:25:16,725 --> 00:25:19,144
It's time now
to thank our wonderful guest star.
428
00:25:19,227 --> 00:25:22,772
Ladies and gentlemen,
Miss Dyan Cannon! Yay!
429
00:25:22,856 --> 00:25:24,858
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
430
00:25:24,941 --> 00:25:26,776
Thank you very much.
431
00:25:27,819 --> 00:25:29,154
And thank you, Kermit.
432
00:25:29,237 --> 00:25:33,992
Oh, that's such a cute little dog.
You must be proud of him, Dada.
433
00:25:34,075 --> 00:25:35,910
I am not that dog's dada.
434
00:25:35,994 --> 00:25:37,495
JANICE:
You're his dada?
435
00:25:37,579 --> 00:25:39,956
We'll see you next time
on The Muppet Show.
436
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:41,791
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
437
00:26:18,286 --> 00:26:20,705
-Well, I think I'll go to the dentist.
-Now?
438
00:26:20,789 --> 00:26:23,124
Sure. After this show, nothing hurts.
32552
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