All language subtitles for The.Mysteries.of.Laura.S01E16.WEBRip.x264-ION10

(INSECT BUZZING)

(BUZZING STOPS)

(SCREAMING)

Detectives, meet Emma Baker,
37, deceased.

Let me guess. Cause of death,
stab wound to the throat.

Exsanguination, to be precise.

Victim bled out
after the carotid artery
was severed cleanly.

Lividity and rigor
puts the time of death
between midnight and 2:00 a.m.

Arterial spray.

Victim was standing
about here?

Yeah, and your attacker,
right here.

Based on the angle
of that wound,

I'd say you're looking
for a perp who's
at least 5'10".

And wearing the victim's DNA.

Yeah, it's not washing
out of that couture
Carine Gilson negligee.

Chantilly lace.
It cost over 5k.

Why do you know that?
I take that back.

I don't wanna know, please.

Patrol get anything
on the canvass?

No. Neighbors are out of town,
and no security cameras.

-So nada.
-Fingerprints?

-Place was wiped clean.
-No forced entry.

So the killer
probably knew her.

Who found the body?

-Ex-husband.
-Bingo!

He's a doctor,

but he didn't check
for a pulse or call 911
when he found the body.

-So who did he call?
-Coroner's office.

Someone's anxious to have
our victim pronounced dead.

Sorry, sir,
but you have to stay.

I found her, Officer Genius.
I didn't kill her.

So use your big boy words
and tell me why I can't leave.

If you'd step off that
train of condescension
I'll explain.

Detective Laura Diamond,
2nd Precinct.

Detective, huh?

Pretty girl makes good.

Do you know this jackass?

I almost married this jackass.

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

So, Laura and that guy.
Really?

Yup. Andrew Devlin, MD.

Fancy. Did she
say anything else?

Nothing. Whole way back,
total silence.

First time that's
ever happened.

Hey, coffee run.

Tea for me, actually,
but no one says "tea run."

(CHUCKLES)

Who needs a cup?

Good with the cup
in my hand, thanks.

Roger that.

And the precinct
sunshine quotient just entered
the realm of unbearable.

Miss you already, Bose.

You do?

Well, yeah. I mean, I figure

we're not gonna
get teamed up as much

now that we got
the Wisconsin import.

Mmm.

Too bad. We're good together.

We are.

And I'll miss you, too.

I mean, working together.
I will.

-So, Laura's ex...
-Go figure.

-Does the captain know?
-Know what?

BOTH: Nothing.

I always knew we'd
cross paths again someday.

Maybe not like this, but...

Tell me about your
relationship with
your ex-wife.

God, you look good.

-Answer the question.
-Now you tell me I look good.

I see the ego's still intact.

When did you first
meet the victim?

Ten years ago.

I'd just won the
Cuttriss award for excellence
in cardiothoracic surgery.

Emma had just won Miss Nevada.
Seemed like a match.

The money hers or yours?

Please. I invented
a self-eluting stent

that's the gold standard
in complex coronary
procedures.

Kinda made me rich.

Remember how we used to eat
rice and beans all week

just to afford Sunday brunch?

In that apartment? Oh, God.

Hard to believe we lived
together in that shoebox.

Hard to believe we
lived together period.

-Have I really
changed that much?
-Apparently.

You were always handsome,
charming, confident,

but the man I knew

wouldn't flirt with me
over his dead wife's body.

Ex-wife. But you're
right, Detective.

I am flirting with you.

And I'm interrogating you.

ANDREW: Come on, Laura.

Are you telling me you're
not the least bit curious

about where I've been
the last 15 years?

More curious about
the last 15 hours.

Where were you between
midnight and 2:00 a.m.?

At my office, working late.

-Sleeping on the couch.
-Anyone see you?

-Maybe the cleaning lady.
-Where's your practice?

My office is in Battery Park,

but I just run
the company now.

How noble.

Why waste my time
and my talent

on chain-smoking,
overeating slobs

whose hearts are
ticking time bombs?

Are you sure you don't
want a lawyer in here?

They could reduce
the obnoxious things
coming out of your mouth.

I've got nothing to hide.

Then tell me about
your divorce.

Emma took me to the cleaners,
as they say,

left me with
a hefty alimony payment.

-Why were you at her house?
-She called.

Asked me to come over.
I don't know why.

When she didn't answer,
I let myself in.

Ex-husbands really need
to learn to give back
their keys when they leave.

Why, did your ex-husband
keep his?

Who told you about my divorce?

You did. Just now.

I married another cop.

-Kids?
-Twin boys.

ANDREW: Got to admit,
I'm a little jealous.

LAURA:
Who's Emma's next of kin?

Her sister Connie,
who lives in Vegas.

I called her already.
She'll be on the
next flight out.

Can you think of anyone
who might want to hurt Emma?

Emma was involved with
this ex-con rehab charity,
Heart of the Hood.

Spent a lot of time
and money on those thugs.
I'd start there.

-Oh, thanks for the advice.
-(DOOR OPENS)

How's it going in here?

Uh, do you mind, Jake?

Dr. Andrew Devlin,
Laura's suspect.
And ex-fiance.

Captain Jake Broderick,
Laura's boss and ex-husband.

I'm glad we got that
straightened out.

Don't leave town.

Oh, my goodness. When? Oh!

Oh, Mother, I should go.

Of course, yes.
Okay, yes. Uh-huh.

-Smooch.
-(BEEPS)

Hey, is everything okay?

Hardly. My great-aunt Mamie
just dropped dead.

Oh, God. Max, I am so sorry.

Don't be. The woman was
pure evil. Even in death
she's ruining my life.

-How so?
-Okay, so my family is
super traditional.

We're supposed to get married,
pop out kids, carry on
the Carnegie name.

Flash forward to me,
the only one who's
still single.

Even my fat cousin Esme
found someone.

You must be under
so much pressure.

Which is why over the holidays

it's possible that after
nine spiked eggnogs

I accidentally told
everyone I'm engaged.

-Uh-oh.
-To say the least.

The funeral's Friday,
I can't show up alone.

Then don't.

Uh, take me. I'll be
your fiance for the day.

(LAUGHING)
You do know I'm gay, right?

I mean, you never said,
but the sweater vest and the
bedazzling thing...

Not to stereotype, but... Duh.

So why would you think you
would pass as my fiance?

I just thought that if your
family's super traditional,

they don't know you're gay.

Please, that closet door
blew wide open

back when I demanded
to be Mariah for Halloween
three years running.

No, no, no.
My mom's dying to throw me
a big fat gay wedding.

That's so sweet.
I love weddings.

You know, a fake fiance
isn't the worst idea
in the world.

So, that's the guy from
the photo albums you used
to hide in the closet?

I was hiding
the bad '90s wardrobe,
not the relationship.

That was five years
before we met.

You knew that I was
engaged to Andrew.

-Why?
-What do you mean, why?

Obviously he's
a pretentious ass,

not to mention
a murder suspect.

Well, he's not
acting like one.

A suspect, that is.

He signed a consent
for us to search his home
and his office.

Even gave his keys.

So knock yourself out.
Go search.

We will. It just means
that he knows we won't
find anything.

-He's tall enough.
He's a surgeon...
-(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

So he's skilled with a knife.
He's got motive.

And he's got an alibi.

Billy just interviewed
a cleaning woman
at Devlin's office

who saw him last night,
asleep on the couch.

So now I will check
on some real suspects.

No, you're too close to this.

You used to sleep
with the victim's ex.

I used to sleep with a blankie
named Lala. So what?

So, I will have Meredith
and Frankie follow-up.

I'll also have them check on
Emma's ex-con charity,
Heart of the Hood.

Typical! Round up
the usual suspects,
and then railroad them.

Father, we don't want
to railroad anyone,
just to talk.

Truly, as the Lord above
is our witness.

You wanna talk?
Come back with a warrant.

(SIGHS)

I'm really excited to be
working with you.

I think we're gonna
make a great team.

-Dial it down, Pulaski.
-Okay.

Yo, you remember me?

Big Nasty.

I put you away
for manslaughter.

(GASPS) Oh!

Call me Big Happy now.

I was on a bad path before
I went to prison. But now
things are going really well.

I kinda have you
to thank for it.

That is so sweet.

Um, Mr. Happy, you know,
you could repay the favor

by telling us anything
you know about Emma Baker.

Nice lady.

Did anyone around here
feel differently?

Last week I heard
Tank threatening her.

What did he say exactly?

"Give me the money
or you'll be sorry."

Can you tell us where we
might be able to find
this Tank?

-Pastry shop.
-Thanks.

Okay. Reynaldo said
we're looking for a perp
5'10" or taller.

Looks like Tank here
qualifies.

May I?

Go crazy.

(CLEARS THROAT)

NYPD. We'd like
to just ask you a few
questions if we may.

-(GRUNTS)
-Hey!

Stop!

-You okay?
-Couldn't be better.

You're under arrest
on suspicion of murder.

I didn't do anything.

Then why'd you run, Tank?

Habit, I guess.

A witness heard you
threaten Emma.

"Give me the money,
or you'll be sorry."

I didn't mean it.
I was just pissed 'cause
she broke a promise.

That's always disappointing.

What exactly did Emma promise?

To pay for new ovens.

Then all of a sudden
she says she's broke.

Or she was just sick and tired
of wasting her money
on no-hopers like you.

That's what I thought.

But she said someone
messed with her money.

Did she say who?

I said if she told me
who was harassing her,
I'd kill them.

I mean, not kill-kill.
A figure of speech.

Where were you last night?

-Bakin'.
-A figure of speech again?

No, baking for real.

This crazy Bridezilla made
us put an all-nighter.

Remake her lemon parfait
wedding cake.

Call her if you want.

I couldn't agree more.

Vanilla custard would have
been a travesty.

Thank you so much
for coming down.

Bridezilla's an
understatement.
But Tank's story checked out.

What about his other story?

Emma stiffing them
on the donation?

Rich people change
pet charities like my kids
change underwear.

Not exactly every day,
but pretty close.

Speaking of pet charities,
last canceled checks
from Emma's account.

Three in a row
made out to cash
at $10,000 apiece,

but then one for
$250,000 made out
to Aura Therapy Institute.

Aura therapy? (SCOFFS)

I'm not fluent in
New Age-speak, but

I think that
translates to total crock.

This boho girl I'm dating
won't get down with me

whenever Mercury's
in retrograde.

(LAUGHING)

I used to tell Jake that
my nose was stuffed when
I wasn't in the mood.

-And Andrew.
-Mmm.

Can't see you ever
getting in the mood with
a guy like Andrew.

Back then he was different.

How'd you two meet, anyway?

I fractured my ankle
playing beer dodgeball,

and stumbled into the ER,
and the on-call resident...

So funny, irresistible smile,
set my cast and asked
me on a date.

Completely wrong
for each other.

The way
Devlin was clocking you,
he doesn't think so.

Please tell me you're
not a little bit curious.

Nope. Now if you will
excuse me, I need to
continue interviewing him.

Uh, Cap told you he
wanted Meredith and Frankie
to handle it.

They can look into
the Aura Therapy lead,
but this is still my case.

I gotta find out where
the rest of Emma's money
was going.

Okay, fine, listen.
I'll be your date.

That's very kind,
but excellent gaydar
runs in my family.

They'd sniff you out
the second you
lumbered into the room.

Why is this so hard?
I thought there'd be
plenty of gay dudes online.

There's nothing but
gay dudes online.

But this is my fake fiance
we're talking about.

I can't lower my standards.

-Damn this marriage equality.
-All right, relax.

I got a crazy idea.

What if you go
to the funeral alone

and admit to your family
that this whole fiance thing
was just one big lie?

Oh, that's cute, real cute.

Cut to my snarky Aunt Ellen,

smiling at me from
across the coffin

with that horse face.

Then stop being so picky.

All right? Look,
boom, boom, boom.

One of those guys
is Prince Charming. Choose.

It's like Bollywood
threw up on the Armani store.

Oh, we had a gong just like
this back at the Bombay Palace
buffet back in Eau Clair.

-And I always
wanted to just...
-Whoa...

-(GONG RINGS)
-(BELLS TINKLING)

Namaste.

And a good namaste to you too.

Swami Sanjay
at your service, ladies.

We're here about Emma Baker.

Love Emma.
Dear client and friend.

-Oh, dear.
-What?

Your aura's critically low.

Oh. Well, is that bad?
'Cause that sounds bad.

-Hold this.
-Okay.

-(BEEPS)
-(CHIMES)

Exactly as I thought.
Streaks of orange
invading the yellow, very bad.

-Oh.
-You need an immediate
aura massage.

-Okay.
-Oh, you know what?

I have never had one before.

-Will it hurt?
-No, you won't feel a thing.

There's a reason for that.

Yeah, wow.
No, I feel it working.

Um, did you do this
a lot for Emma?

I cannot discuss
her treatment,

but I can tell you that
I am at her service 24/7,

which I can provide to you
for a very reasonable
monthly fee.

FRANKIE: Did you make a lot
of house calls to her?

Oh, yes.
I even had my own key.

I'm quite the
worthwhile investment.

I studied with a very
wise yogi in Uttar Pradesh.

Hmm. Well, as my grandmother
used to say...

(SPEAKING HINDI)

So true. Grandmother
must have been
a very wise woman.

So sorry, don't know Hindi.

Oh, he doesn't either.
I just called him a liar,

which he is, and a fraud,
ditto. And a possible killer.

You're under arrest, Swami.

Mr. Devlin will be right
with you. He's just
finishing his workout.

Thank you.

(SNIFFS) Ugh.

Paco Rabanne, still.

(SHRIEKS)

Not the reaction
I used to get.

Sorry, I was just
looking for the closet...

I mean, the, um, trash can.

Behind the desk,
where trash cans are kept.

Put some clothes on.

ANDREW: Nothing you
haven't seen before.

Hey, I'm glad you came by.

I just have a few
questions about
Emma's financials.

Well, that's easy.
I was paying her 100 grand
a month till she remarried,

which she wouldn't,
not when she was making seven
figures a year to stay single.

So who gets the rest
of her estate?

It all goes to charity.

Not just the ex-con one,
either, I mean
a bunch of them,

whatever was
flavor of the week.

Any idea why Emma would
have a hard time coming up
with money for donations,

or what she was doing
with her regular cash
withdrawals of 10 grand a pop?

No clue.

We were divorced, remember?

If Jake went on a spending
spree, I know exactly
what he would buy.

Not all marriages are alike.
Emma and I never
really connected.

Oh, please,
you proposed to her.

I proposed to you.

Brooklyn Bridge, bended knee,
moonlight, ring a bell?

Yeah, I remember. Storybook.

Till you dropped the ring
on the taxi roadway.

I never even gave Emma a ring.

I just bought her
this tacky necklace
she wanted.

She thought it meant more,
told everybody
we were engaged,

and before I knew it, we were.

You fell into marriage
by accident?

The Andrew Devlin I knew
was always decisive.

You want decisive? Fine.

You and me, dinner tonight.
You will have the rib eye.

No.

I'm in the middle
of this case.

Or are you just afraid that
you're gonna enjoy yourself?

I'm not afraid of anything.

Just not interested.

Quite the sheet
you've got, Sanjay.
Or should I call you Brian?

Your fingerprints gave you up.

Brian Gill of the yoga capital
of the world, the Bronx.

Open warrant for
stealing the identity of
a Bangladeshi cab driver.

Not cool, Brian.

You know,
you should be ashamed
of yourself.

I mean, not that your heritage
is anything to be ashamed of.

Look, I may not be
from Pradesh, but,
my expertise is legit.

I know my chakras.

But nobody wants their
aura read by
Brian from the Bronx.

I wonder why.

Hey, I provide a real service.

Don't you feel better?

No, I mean, now that you
mention it, I kind of, like...
I had this headache, earlier.

You know who doesn't
feel better?

Dead Emma Baker.

Did you kill her?

That's crazy.
I would never hurt Emma.
She was super generous.

And she'd be super pissed if,
after giving you
a huge donation,

she found out that
you were full of it.

Yeah, maybe you killed her
to keep your cover
from being blown.

-I didn't.
-Where were you between
midnight and 2:00 a.m.?

-On a different astral plane.
-(SCOFFS)

-For real, I was meditating.
-Ooh.

-Can anyone vouch for that?
-Yeah, my spirit animal.

(CHUCKLES)

No alibi, and lots
of checks paid to you.

Okay, yeah,
I took a lot of money
from Emma, but I earned it.

Took me weeks
to cleanse her aura.

It was toxic
from all her fear.

-What was she afraid of?
-Someone was threatening her.

-She say who?
-I figured her ex.

Emma kept saying that
getting married during
a thunderstorm

was an omen she
would live to regret.

Show the swami
to a cell, please.

Yes, ma'am.

So you think he did it?

He had a key, no alibi,
and he's tall enough.

Yeah, but Emma was
making him rich.

Well, he's got open warrants,
so he's in the pokey until
we find a better suspect.

Oh, ouch, little man.

Purple estheric templates
crowding your celestial body.

Great fifth chakra
is gonna offer you relief.

Fantastic.
Love the mumbo jumbo.

I ran your rap sheet, Brian.
Methinks you're full of it.

Hey bro, auras don't lie.

You just remember.
Purple and green.

Looks like a handsome stranger
is gonna solve your problems.

-Um, handsome stranger?
-Excuse me.

I'm looking for Laura Diamond.

For a moment I thought
bizarre swami premonitions
really do come true.

-Straight?
-Yeah, I am.

Straight ahead.

Right. Thanks.

Hey, pretty.

You just can't get
enough of me.

I wanted to apologize
for being such a jerk earlier.

You can make it up to me.
Over dinner.

Great.

Let me get my coat.

Doctor.

-Back for more questioning?
-No, strictly social.

Looks like I'm taking
our girl out for a nibble.

Speaking of foreplay,
one ex to another,

does stroking the back
of her neck still make
her crazy?

(CHUCKLES)

You know, you are everything
that she said you were.

What the hell is going on?

Just grabbing dinner
with an old friend.

Yeah?
Well, that old friend happens
to be a material witness

in a murder investigation.

Exactly. We're at a dead end.
We need a new lead.

-No, absolutely not.
-Why?

-What, are you jealous?
-No, I'm protecting you.

Like I would
any of my detectives.

Well, good thing I'm off
the clock and it isn't
any of your business.

It is if you let your emotions
cloud your judgment.

The only thing clouding
my judgment is hunger.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Ready.

Okay, where are we going?
Jean-Georges, Per Se,
Gramercy Tavern?

Actually, there's a great
little place just right
around the corner.

Great. I'll have my
assistant make reservations.

You know what?
I think we're okay.

This is not okay.
It's not even edible.

And the cholesterol. My God,
it's like suicide on a plate.

You used to love bar food.

Yeah, that's before
my palate and my
arteries knew better.

How did we wind up here?

It's around the corner
from the precinct.

I mean here.

You and me, total strangers.

It's not how I thought
it would be for us.

Well, you dumped me.

Wait, what? You dumped me.

Liar!

You would say that.
You never trusted me.

Remember what you said
the very first time
I told you I loved you?

-That you were full of crap.
-Mmm-hmm.

I had to convince you.

Grabbed you, kissed you,
and then you said...

That maybe you weren't
full of crap.

That was a hell of a kiss.

Would have been
a hell of a life,

if you hadn't walked
out on our engagement.

My father was indicted
for embezzlement.

He was disbarred. My whole
foundation just fell apart.

We could have gotten through
that together. But no, you had
to run off to California.

I needed air.

-For six months?
-I needed time.

I needed my fiance.

No, you needed a warm body,
like that aerobic instructor.

She was a flight attendant

who taught aerobics
on the side.

We were young and stupid.

Hey, hey, I found this.
Let me show you.

Oh. Oh, wow.

Burn it.

-Am I making you nervous?
-(SCOFFS)

-In your dreams.
-Slow down. Slow down.

Here, let me show you. Just...

You need a longer,
smoother stroke.

God, I've missed this.

Nobody ever knew me
like you did.

I have a boyfriend.
His name is Tony.
He's amazing.

He's more than amazing.

And yet you're here with me.

That's odd.

Yes!

Time to pay up.

Okay.

Emma had money problems
and someone was
threatening her.

You wanna talk about the case?

Could someone have been
blackmailing Emma?

Blackmailing?
The woman was a saint.

I mean her worst vice was...

-Pilates.
-What? What is it?

Emma's Pilates instructor
trained her at the house.

He had a key.

You had a key,
the swami had a key,
now this guy?

Why even have a lock?

Richard Preston,
Emma's Pilates teacher.

DMV says he's 6' tall.

Credit report shows
three bankruptcies.

And much like half
of the Upper East Side,

he had a key to her house.

Richard? Please,
he wouldn't hurt a fly.

Laura, this is Connie Baker,
Emma's sister. She just
flew in from Las Vegas.

How do you know that
Richard wasn't involved
in your sister's murder?

Because he's our cousin.

I mean, total loser,
terrible Pilates instructor,
but super sweet.

Emma was just helping him out.

Looking into him
is a waste of time.

That's for us to decide.

Is there anyone you think
we should be looking into?

Yeah, Andrew Devlin.

Emma told me that if anything
ever happened to her,

I needed to tell the police
that he killed her.

I never liked Andrew Devlin,
and the feeling was mutual.

Arrogant bastard thought I was
just another Las Vegas loser.

He was married to your sister.

That had to make
Thanksgiving dinner
kind of awkward.

And then some.

So I kept my mouth shut
until my sister got the
dollar signs out of her eyes

and realized what
an ass he was.

Can't say I disagree.

What gave her the wakeup call?

He always had a temper,
but on a leash.

Then he started losing it.

One time he smashed
a wine bottle

because Emma served
a chardonnay instead
of a sauvignon blanc.

That's when she filed
for divorce.

I'm guessing Andrew
took that hard.

Major understatement.

He went berserk.

Emma was terrified.

When was the last time
you saw her?

New Year's.

Yeah, she flew out to Vegas...

She couldn't relax.

She thought Devlin
was spying on her.

I called her paranoid.

It's okay, Connie.
Take your time.

Emma told me she wasn't nuts.

Andrew was furious that
he had to pay Emma 25%
of his earnings

for the rest of her life.

-But if she died...
-Bye-bye alimony.

That's why she made me promise
to tell the cops if anything
ever happened to her.

The problem is,
apparently Dr. Devlin
has an alibi.

I bet someone's
covering for him.

Devlin's a manipulative
control freak.

I was watching Iron Man 3
on the flight today,
and it hit me.

Andrew's like
Tony Stark's evil twin.

All that money and power,

and he uses
it to crush people.

I guess Devlin's
not Mr. Nice Guy.

Jake, the violent, abusive
control freak

that Connie described to you
is not the man I know.

He's arrogant, yes.
But a murderer?
I don't buy it.

He's probably a sociopath.

He's messing
with your emotions
to get what he wants.

Well, maybe to get into
my pants, but not to
get away with murder.

I'm not happy
about that, either.

I want you off this case.

This is just eating you up.

Do not turn this around on me.

You are so threatened by
my ex from 15 years ago

that you are accusing him
of murder.

Because he did it.

Emma Baker just called him out
from beyond the grave.

Ghosts can't testify in court.

Alibi witnesses can.

The cleaning lady
could be lying.

That I can find out.

No, we got this.

-Go home.
-I'm on my way.

Where else would I go?

I already spoke to
Detective Soto,

and my employers would not
like the police being
in their home.

I just need to verify that
Dr. Devlin was in his office

at the time of the murder,
and I'll be out of here.

I arrived at 11:00,
he was asleep on the couch.

I cleaned outside,
came back at 1:00,
still snoring.

-Take that, Jake.
-Jake?

Oh, um, my ex, my boss.

Just a guy who thinks
that Dr. Devlin is full of it.

Please, he's the kindest
man I know.

That might be pushing it.

He's even going to do
my father's coronary
bypass for free.

He's a good man, Detective.

Thank you, Olga. That's, um...

That's refreshing to hear.

Your father's in great hands.

-My father, he is so scared.
-Oh.

I promised him my special
chocolate fudge when
he recovers.

He has a sweet tooth,
so it calms him down.

Olga, do you have
a picture of your dad?

Of course.

That's my papa.

-Can't be that bad.
-Worse than bad.

The new definition of abysmal.

Did I just see you blow
through three speed dates?

Not a single passable
boyfriend among them.

I'm gonna die alone.

Spare me the self-pity party.

I see you
in here all the time.
You're funny, you're cute.

You just gotta find
the right guy.

Well, how motivational
poster-ey of you.

You know, I don't
need advice from the
hetero peanut gallery.

All right? Just another
appletini in which
to drown my sorrows.

Grammatically correct
in the depths of despair,
I'm impressed.

Even though you have
me all wrong.

But I have excellent gaydar.

Your gaydar's
on the fritz, pal.

You just remember.
Purple and green.

Looks like a handsome stranger
is gonna solve your problems.

Hey pretty, glad you called.

I haven't stopped thinking
about you since dinner.

Of course, I haven't
digested it yet, either.

-Not here. Come with me.
-Okay.

I like where this is heading.

Or maybe not.

I'll be honest.
Leaves a little something
to be desired.

I'm confused. I thought
you wanted to see me.

Your alibi witness is lying.

So you need
to tell me right now.
Did you kill your ex-wife?

This is insane. I didn't
kill Emma, and there's
nothing wrong with my alibi.

Oh, right, Olga
the cleaning lady,

who oh, so conveniently
saw you sleeping on
the office sofa.

It's not convenient,
it's true.

I believed you,
until I met Olga.

Boy, she loves you,

since you offered
to perform surgery
on her father for free.

Which surprised the hell
out of me, considering you
don't waste your talent

on chain-smoking,
overeating slobs whose
hearts are ticking time bombs.

-I can explain.
-I'm all ears.

The moment I found
Emma's body, I knew
I was gonna be a suspect.

Ex-husband, bitter divorce,
financial motive,
yadda, yadda, yadda...

So I told Olga that I'd
do her dad's surgery

if she said she
saw me in the office.

-You bribed her to lie.
-She lied. I didn't.

I was in the office
and I wasn't alone.

Okay, wait. You have an alibi
witness and you bribed
someone else to lie for you?

That doesn't make any sense.

I was getting a massage

that ended happily.

Oh!

A rub and tug. Classy.

Please don't make me
feel worse than I already do.

But you see why I had to lie.
I couldn't face telling
you the truth.

Oh, so now we're blaming me?

Put yourself in my shoes.
I finally see you again
after all these years,

and I have to admit
that I paid for company?

It's embarrassing.

I can think of better
words than that.

Exploitative,
gross, illegal...

Yes, yes and yes.
I never should have done it.

But since the divorce
I just haven't met anyone
that interested me.

And then this guy
in my squash club,
he gives me a number,

swears it's exactly
what I need.

How many times
did you need it?

Twice, but the second
time I couldn't even...

Look, I told you,
my marriage was dead
for a long time.

And the truth was it never
was any good with Emma.

Not like it was with you.

I'll need that number.

What do you think
you're doing?

Uh, checking out
Devlin's real alibi.

How many times have
I told you? Leave this case
alone. You wanna...

Reminisce with an old flame,
I can't stop you.

But leave the field work
to the rest of us.

You're simply incapable
of separating being my ex
from being my boss.

This is me being your boss.

Meredith and Frankie
can handle it. Back off.

Sorry, but I don't do women,
or couples.

Oh, no, we're not together.

I mean, obviously we're
together, standing here,
the two of us...

Like, together,
but we're not here...

What she means is, we're cops.

Don't freak, we just
need some information.

Look, I got a client
coming in.

Great. Answer our questions
and I won't have Vice shutter
you before he gets you.

Tell us about this guy.

Dr. D. Good tipper.

When did you last see him?

Out call,
his office, midnight.

I was there a couple of hours.
Tried my best, but his
heart wasn't in it.

-Sounds like
it wasn't his heart.
-(CHUCKLES)

Do you have a receipt for
your session with the doc?

He paid cash. A grand a pop.

A thousand bucks
for your hand?

The dragon hand.

Not gonna go there.

So, just making sure
we have this right.

It was midnight when you
got to Dr. Devlin's house?

Office. Never been
to his house.

First time I went to his boat.

Hmm.

Thank you, Kelly.
You and your hand have
been very helpful.

-Reynaldo?
-Sciatica.

I'm here for my usual.

-How big?
-97-foot.
It's a Santa Margarita.

What? You know I've
always loved sailing.

-Why didn't you mention it?
-I didn't think
it was relevant.

Oh, come on. You gave
consent for us to search
your house, your office.

Is there a reason you
didn't mention your yacht?

Like maybe
there's evidence on there
you don't want us to find?

Don't be ridiculous.
If I killed Emma,

I wouldn't leave evidence
lying around anywhere,
including my boat.

Is this what being a cop has
done to you? Made you
suspicious of everyone?

No, just people who lie to me.

For the last time, Laura,

I wasn't lying, I was just
reluctant to discuss

the intimate details of my...

-Hooker habit?
-Dammit, Laura!

You know I didn't do this.

-I don't.
-But you know me.

-Fifteen years ago.
People change.
-No, no, no.

People get rich,
they get married,
they get divorced,

but who they are
doesn't change.

You are still
the same woman that
I fell in love with.

And I'm still arrogant and
condescending, judgmental,
but I'm not violent.

And I'm certainly
not a murderer.

This guy's
messing with her head.
I'm pulling her out.

Don't. Devlin's
gonna lawyer up

as soon as he can get his
iPhone out of his Prada pants.

The only reason the guy's
still talking is because
he wants to be with her.

Just trust Laura.

If anyone can break Devlin,
she can.

We just need to
give her some ammunition.

I don't believe for a second
this guy forgot to mention
he had a boat.

Get Meredith and Frankie over
there and search every inch.

Copy that.

You ain't the first ladies
to pay a call.

There's girls coming to see
the doc all the time.

-Like this one?
-Yup. Not my type.

But the other night,
there was this tall, blond
drink of water.

She had a serious pair
of U-boats in harbor,
if you catch my drift.

Thank you.

Whoa! Vodka, champagne,

gourmet canned goods
up the wazoo.

Either Dr. D is a
doomsday prepper,

or he's ready for more
than a three hour tour.

The course is set for Cuba,
which, last I checked,
is still non-extradition.

Devlin's looking more guilty
by the minute.

I feel so bad for Laura.

True that.
It's a real head-wrecker,
running into your ex

and seeing that he's
still hot, filthy rich,
and a murder suspect.

If Devlin's the killer,
Laura's involvement could
be a problem at trial.

Laura's a pro. She locked
up her old captain without
a second thought.

She'll collar Devlin
if it comes to that.

Looks like it just did.

Your knife is a match
for the murder weapon.

Emma Baker's blood and DNA.
No fingerprints, though.

Makes sense.
The doctor had easy access
to latex gloves.

It means motive
and opportunity.

We got him.
It's time to arrest Devlin.

-I can't believe it.
-Don't blame yourself.

He played you, Laura.
He's a bad guy.

Emma told Swami Sanjay
getting married in a
thunderstorm was a bad omen.

Guess she was right.

What? What's wrong?

The DNA on the knife
is Emma's.

Somebody's framing me.

I don't know. I don't know.
One of the ex-cons,
or the Pilates guy.

What about the phony swami?

You sure did point out
a lot of suspects
to distract me.

From the real killer.

You.

-My God, you really
think I did it?
-Yup.

Laura...

Listen to me. I was
a lousy husband, and
it was an ugly divorce,

but there's no reason
for me to have hurt Emma.

Except a lifetime of alimony.

You wanted off
the financial hamster wheel.

There is no one else, Andrew.

There has to be,
because I didn't do this!
I didn't kill Emma!

What... I can't...
What do I have to do
to convince you?

No! You can't convince me.

-This isn't about me.
-Yes, it is.

I wouldn't be in this mess
if I had married
the right woman.

That's not my problem.

The thunderstorm on your
wedding day should
have tipped you off.

What are you talking about?
I got married in South Beach.

It was 80 degrees and sunny.

What?

-Emma got married again.
-No.

If she had,
I'd have stopped paying
alimony right away.

Which is why she kept
it secret from you.

But someone knew.

Her killer.

This is incredible.
We'll be able to buy those
new ovens after all.

Just what Emma would
have wanted.

What the hell
is going on here?

LAURA: Hey,
it's Emma's sister Connie!

Tax sale, for charity.
Oh, that's a really
special one.

Um, $20.

That is a signed
Warhol silkscreen.

Okay, $40.

Uh, Big Happy,
can you help her carry
that out, please?

Thank you.

You can't do this.

I'm her sister.
Everything here is mine.

Actually, Emma's will
left everything
to Heart of the Hood.

No, everything is
supposed to go to me.

Um... Excuse me, everyone.
We need some more room
to bring in new inventory.

So, if you would just give
us a few minutes,

we'll have more bargains
for everyone.

I am so sorry you're upset,

but at least you have
your memories of Emma
to comfort you.

Like that weekend
that you spent together
over New Year's.

-Did you do anything special?
-Nothing comes to mind.

Really?

Because on New Year's Eve,
Emma married Clay Carruthers,

a hotel bartender that
she had met that night.

And you were the witness.

You signed the
marriage certificate.

There was a rare thunderstorm
in Vegas that very same night.
Ring a bell?

That was just
a drunken mistake.

She had it annulled
the next day.

I'm aware.

But it still would have voided
her divorce settlement
if Devlin had found out.

So you blackmailed her.
She gave you 10 grand a week,
until she ran out of money.

And then your ride
on the gravy train
came to an end.

So you killed her,
thinking that you would
inherit her estate.

I was in Vegas
when her body was found.

But not the night before.

You mentioned your taste
in movies to my colleagues.

I was watching Iron Man 3
on the flight...

The airline said that
Iron Man 3 only plays
on westbound flights.

JFK to Vegas. So you
saw it on your way home,

after the murder.

We have you on video from
the airport security cameras.

Oh, and we also have
a witness who saw you
enter the yacht

to plant the murder weapon.

The other night,
there was this tall, blond
drink of water.

She had a serious pair
of U-boats in harbor.

Gosh, it was
a pretty good plan.

Fly back to Vegas
before the body is discovered.

Devlin calls. Boom!
Instant alibi.

Then you come back
and you tell us about
Devlin, the violent ex.

Oh, great shoes, by the way.

What do they make you, 5'11"?

Killer heels.

Literally.

Well, Cap...

So, you gonna apologize
to Laura?

For what?

Devlin was our best suspect.

Laura didn't think so,
but you weren't trying to
hear it from the jump.

Question is, why?

Okay. So maybe I wanted
the guy to be guilty.

I can't believe that she
almost married that jerk.

I guess bad boys
are her kryptonite.

Yeah, so maybe I should
stop being such
a Mr. Nice Guy.

Thanks for the advice, buddy.

That wasn't advice.

Cue the angel choir.

-I found a date.
-You mean a fake date?

Not so fake.
Neither is Swami Sanjay.

He predicted I'd find
the perfect man.

Oh, I know it's going to end
in a horrible heart-crushing
scene, a la Miss Saigon,

but I'm taking a chance.

At least until
Aunt Mamie's in the ground,

and fat Esme's back
in Connecticut.

I'm happy for you.

Speaking of perfect man,
how is Laura's dreamy ex?

Please, tell me
they're back together.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Hope you don't mind
the house call.

No, not at all. Come in.

Nice place.

I got you off the hook
for murder. The least you
could do is lose the sarcasm.

No, I mean it.
Your home is full of life.

Kind of like the one
I thought we'd have together.

Me too.

(BOYS YELLING)

Boys! Boys, no!

No, get upstairs right,
right now.

-Oh, my gosh. Sorry.
-(GROANS)

Here, let me
get Kleenex. Sit down.
Put your head down back.

I know, I'm a doctor.

(SIGHS)

Things are not usually
this insane around here.

Who am I kidding?
It's always this insane.

Insanity suits you, 'cause
you've never looked better.

Andrew, you're off the hook.
You don't need to
smooth talk me anymore.

I'm not.

The last few days
made me realize what a mess
I've made of my life.

I need to make some changes.

Like what?

Getting back to
being a doctor, for one thing.

Treating people that
need my help.

Being accused of a crime
you didn't commit is
a pretty good wake up call.

Seeing you again
made me remember
the man I used to be,

before I became...

A complete jackass?

(CHUCKLES)

Sorry, I don't mean that.

Yeah. Yeah, you do.

That's why I love you, Laura.

You always knew how
to hit me where it counts.

Apparently my twins have
inherited that super power.

(LAUGHS) Yeah. They're good.
They're adorable.

(CHUCKLES)

So, what now?

Now you actually
let me kiss you.

(THEME SONG PLAYING)