All language subtitles for The.Mysteries.of.Laura.S01E15.WEBRip.x264-ION10

(LAUGHING)

Whoo!

Whoa.

Oh, man.

(APPLAUDING)

Whoo!

Wasn't much of a chase,

the guy's wearing clown shoes.

Hal, take this bozo
to holding.

Guess who's paying
a little visit to the
2nd Precinct today.

Is his last name Hemsworth?

No.

I'm not interested.

Huh, you should be.

The CDIU is sending someone to
do an internal investigation.

Apparently, somebody
complained about an
inappropriate relationship

in our squad.

What? You mean us?

The almost...
Which didn't!

Oh!

Nothing happened.

Nothingish.

At any rate, how did the
Chief of Detectives find out?

No idea, but I do
have my suspicions.

-'Morning.
-Okay.

He'd never...

She might.

Listen up everyone.

A Frank Pulaski of the
Chief of Detective's unit
will be stopping by.

Apparently, somebody is under
the mistaken impression that
something happened

between two people of
differing ranks.

Which it didn't.
Nothing happened.

Now, we don't know
the specifics...

Because there are none.
Nothing happened.

So, just give them the facts.

And when Detective Pulaski
arrives,

he will be interviewing each
and every one of you.

WOMAN: Uh, he's here.

Except he is a she.
(CHUCKLES)

Hi, I'm Detective Pulaski.

You're Frank Pulaski?

It's Francesca but everyone
calls me Frankie.

No matter how many times
I ask them not to.

People...

Wassup, 2nd Precinct?

Okay, nice to meet you.

Would you like to get
comfortable?
Get a coffee or anything?

Oh, that is so sweet,

but I probably should
just jump right into
my investigation.

I love the focus, but,
FYI, there's nothing
to investigate.

Detective Diamond, I presume?

You know, you would be
the best person for me to just
kick off my interviews with.

Sure, ready?

-Mmm-hmm.
-Nothing happened.

Actually,
something did happen.

No, it didn't.

Oh, not that thing
that didn't happen.

I was referring to the dead
body that they found in
Central Park.

-I'll do it!
-Aren't you and Billy
finishing up the bodega heist?

Laura, go.

She gets a clown and a murder?

Feels like my birthday.

So we'll just jump
in later then.

Much later.

Sounds good.

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

All right...

Reynaldo, are you wearing
a tuxedo?

Don't have time to change
before my Arthur Murray class.

You're taking a dance class?

I am teaching one.

Of course you are.

Care to introduce us?

Young woman, early twenties.
Single bullet to the head.
Shot at a downward angle.

No drugs, no alcohol detected.

But she's got this bite mark
near her left clavicle.

Couple of weeks old.

-Good eye, Diamond.
-Time of death?

Body was found at 10:00,
still warm.

I'd put your TOD
between 9:00, 9:30.

-Anything else?
-I got you

one

muddy purse.

Why does this bag
look familiar?

Keys.

Brush.

Lip gloss.

No phone, ID, or credit card.

-Robbery.
-I don't think so.

Robbers usually don't kill
someone execution style.

I remember!

This is the best bag!

Agreed. It's roomy.

No, no, no, no, I saw it on
an infomercial the night
I got my Egg Genie.

And it's got a
secret compartment

to hide your valuables.

Oh...

Hello, Viviana Costa.

Here on a work visa.

I'm off to Brazil.

This is not what
I was thinking

when you said
we were going to Brazil.

(CHUCKLES) Land inside
a consulate

is legally foreign territory.

Doesn't matter what time
your flight leaves,

you must fill out the
correct form, your visa will
be processed in...

Authentic South American
bureaucratic hell.

This guy's going to be
super helpful.

(CLEARS THROAT)

NYPD.

A Brazilian national was
shot to death in Central Park.

We need anything
you might have on her.

Local law enforcement requests
must be submitted through
higher channels.

I can't promise you
we're gonna...

Has anyone ever told you
that you look just like
David Hasselhoff?

I know it sounds crazy,

but there was this TV show
on here when I was a kid,

called Knight Rider.

Of course,
we had it in Brazil.

In fact, I have a model
of the Kitt Car.

Would you look at that?
Oh, my gosh.

Oh, I was obsessed.

I had no idea
that Knight Rider was
so popular in Brazil.

The first thing I did when
I arrived in the US

was to save up
enough money to buy
a Trans Am just like it.

-(EXCLAIMS)
-The car is most awesome.

No doubt.

So, you have the correct forms

and you can start
filling them out.

Or you could just push print
on your little computer.

All we need is
a local address.

Or since you have a talking
car, I could just ask Kitt.

You're going to get me
into trouble, but...

Okay.

Cap'o, wanted to see me?

-Come on in.
-Yup.

What's up?

I was just wondering
if you had any

perceptions about Laura
and me that you would
like to discuss

before you talk to the CDIU.

I have plenty of perceptions,

but none that
I'd discuss with CDIU.

Good!

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Oh, I hope
I'm not interrupting.

No, not at all.

Detective Soto and I
were just discussing a

police matter.

That's all we do here
is work, work, work.

Work, work, work.

So, getting started?

Just need your John Hancock
right here.

Here.

And initials here.

Which gives me permission
to discuss interpersonal
matters with all staff

under your supervision.

So any necessary personnel
changes would be submitted
before the end of the week.

Personnel changes?

If a certain level of
impropriety exists here,

NYPD protocol mandates
that we transfer one or more
of the offending parties

to another precinct.

Transfer, that's a little
extreme, isn't it?

Yeah, the downtown brass
are serious sticklers.

When I moved into my cubicle,
I brought in the cutest
puppy dog trash can.

You click the remote,
little guy opens his mouth,

just toss the trash right in
there, it'd let out the
sweetest little woof.

Woof! Just like that.

Turns out, not a regulation
trash receptacle.

Okay.

Anyway, I wouldn't worry.

There will only be a transfer
if I find anything improper.

I'm sure it'll be fine.

Yeah, me too.

Let me know if you need
any help from me.

(DOOR BELL RINGING)

A 20-year-old with a work visa
lives in the penthouse
of this apartment building?

I smell trust fund.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Go ahead, take it,
there's no one home.

LAURA: Hey, what's up?

Hey, I'm just calling to let
your mouth know
I made a creme brulee.

That's exciting.

But unfortunately
my mouth and I have
to work late tonight.

Ooh!

That sounded dirtier
than I intended.

Yes, it did.
Well, I could be persuaded
to drop by the precinct.

Make a special delivery.

Oh, you're sweet.

I think I'd rather just
keep us a bit on the DL.

Is that completely rude?

No, we're good.

-Rain check?
-Check.

-Excuse me.
-Gotta go.

Excuse me.

Uh, NYPD.

We're looking for someone
who lives in this apartment.

I live here, can I help you?

Do you know this woman?

Yes, that's, uh, Viviana.

What is this about?

She was found dead
this morning.

(STAMMERS) She's my nanny.

Where is my son?

It has to be my ex-husband,
I'm telling you.

When was the last time
you saw him?

When I kicked him out
of the house six months ago.

I caught my son, Tucker,

tying a jump rope
around his arm.

Trying to be like Daddy.

Your ex is a heroin addict?

Forgive me.

You just don't seem like...

Like a woman who'd
marry a junkie?

Agreed.

In college,
Roger was charismatic,

he was the life of the party,
he just

never grew up.

Before the divorce, I would
never have even considered him
capable of murder, but...

He hates me so much.

Tucker's autistic.

He's utterly vulnerable,
you have got to find him.

We checked the address that
you had for Roger, he hasn't
been there in weeks.

-Oh, my God.
-Is there somewhere else
he'd go?

A friend, a co-worker?

Yes, uh...

Beno, total loser.

He has a photography studio.

Sometimes Roger crashes there.

So when Captain Broderick
came to the 2nd Precinct...

Did I already say
nothing happened?

I just want to make sure you
have that written down.

Yeah, totally,
a couple of times.

So, now we can just chat
about other stuff.

Uh, I'm curious
what it's like working
with Captain Broderick.

Oh, it's super-supes.

When he took over,
it felt like a family here.

But not like with
a mom and dad who sleep
in the same house.

More like a family with a boss
and a bunch of co-workers.

You know, it's funny,
it says here...

You only started working
six weeks ago?

Uh, the Captain's been here
almost six months.

That is funny, may I see?
(LAUGHS)

Oh, okay, carry the three,
divided by seven...

Yes, that is correct.

I began being employed
by the city of New York
nigh on six weeks ago.

So, how did you know
things changed when
Captain Broderick arrived?

(CHUCKLING)

'Cause I had been...
I already...

'Cause when I was walking
over here,

I was in the zeitgeist, like,
the unofficial mascot.

But without the costume and
accompanying low self-esteem.

(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)

But then the Captain bought me
and made me official.

I'm sorry, he bought you?

No, "bought" sounds weird.

Actually, he traded me
for a fancy espresso machine.

So now we just have
a regular old coffee pot.

Can I go get you a cup?

(IN BRITISH ACCENT)
Cup of Joe for the lady?

No thanks,
I don't drink coffee.

And how is the Captain's
conduct around his ex-wife?

And who's that?

He was married to
Detective Diamond,

as you mentioned at the
beginning of this interview?

Did I... Them?

It was you.

Can I get you a cup of coffee?

Hello, Officers.

To what do I owe the pleasure?

We're looking for
Roger Wexler, is he here?

He is not. I believe he's
residing at a rehab facility
in New Jersey.

(THUDDING)

Who else is here?

It's just me.

Stay right there.

MEREDITH: Watch it, Billy.

Oh...

What the hell are you doing
with a goat in the middle
of Manhattan?

I photograph him.

Used to make calendars,
but now Shackleton
is starting a blog.

Shackleton is the goat?

Does this belong
to Shackleton?

'Cause it says Tucker.
Where's Roger?

I have no idea.

Think harder.

Or we're charging you with
accessory after the fact.

After what fact?
What did Roger do?

We need to speak to him in
connection to a homicide
investigation.

His son's nanny was found
dead this morning.

And the boy is missing, too.

You mean her?

This is Roger's stuff,
he printed out those pics
the other day.

What's this?

No idea.

He was looking up something
on his phone before he left.

Does 117 mean anything to you?

That better not be
a flight number.

We've already put tracers at
all the airports, railroads,
port authority...

I love the transpo theme.

Aw.

My boys were obsessed with
the train, we used to ride
the subways in circles.

Oh, Tucker's the same way.

Oh, he loves buses,
taxis, cars...

He just sits there and watches
them pass by.

Doesn't the M117 stop right
outside Beno's place?

Make a scene and I'll cuff you
in front of your kid.

Come on.

Losing custody of Tucker must
have been horrible for you.

It's the worst thing that's
ever happened to me.

You'd do anything to get him
back, wouldn't you?

Maybe even killing Viviana?

What? Of course not.

You've been planning
so carefully.

Stalking...

I wasn't stalking!
Those are the only photos
I have of my son.

I don't have
visitation rights.

The only time I get to see
Tucker is when his nanny
picks him up at school.

I watch him from
across the street.

Must've made you crazy.

That she gets to spend time
with your son and you didn't.

So, you snapped.

You shot Viviana,
you kidnapped your kid...

Look.

I saw Tucker just
standing there.

Nobody came for him.
What was I supposed to do?

I picked my kid up from
school, but I swear
I didn't kill Viviana.

Roger's alibi checked out.

This wasn't about custody.

Any thoughts?

No idea.

We didn't know much
about her personal life.

Who's this?

Boyfriend, maybe?

It's her younger brother.

He's autistic.

That can't be a coincidence.

Not at all.

Every autistic kid is
different, obviously, but

growing up around it just
gave Viviana special insight.

Hiring Viv was the best thing
I ever did for him.

-See Viv, see Viv!
-(LAUGHING) Shh...

What about hobbies?

Any place she'd like to go?

Well, Tucker wouldn't know
about that.

It's hard to know
what he's thinking.

See Viv? Viv, Jim, go, Jim.

What?

Who's Jim, Tucker?

Is he Viv's friend?

Could he mean "gym,"
as in the health club?

The gym was right.

New York Fitness.

Broadway and 10th,
to be exact.

Viviana's locker had
all of this.

Viviana, what were you up to?

Detective Soto, please sit.

I hope this can be real quick.

How can I help?

Do you feel you can be
completely honest

when discussing Detective
Diamond's relationship
with Captain Broderick?

Yes, I do.

Okay, great.
That's all I needed.

Thank you so much.

But I haven't given you
any information.

Look, everyone says
you're a great detective.

I can't outsmart you,
so I'm not even going to try.

What are you talking about?

Well, Glennyn Ruckards
told me your strum
your fingers on the desk

when you try
to sweet-talk her.

So I ask myself, why would you
want to sweet talk me when
I ask if you can

answer honestly
and we both know
there is only one reason.

I'm not going to put you in
the uncomfortable position

of revealing whatever
it is you're hiding,

but the fact that you're
hiding something is itself
the subject of this interview.

Thank you.

Oh, did you have anything
you'd like to add, or...

Nothing happened!

What else was in the gym bag?

A second phone,

with a very full calendar.

JF at the Waldorf Astoria,
AP at the Ritz, about three
dates a week.

Pretty popular with the guys,
huh?

At least one girl,
Viviana constantly texted
a Sofie,

including this morning.

"Meet me in the park at 9:30
at sculpture thingy.
Have something to show you."

Viviana was killed around 9:30
in close proximity to at least

a dozen sculptures,
and/or "thingies."

Only one app on the phone,
a game,

Sugar Slice which even
our resident gamer
can't make sense of.

Worst game ever.

Keeps crashing
on the first level.

Super buggy.

So Viviana had something
she wanted to show Sofie.

Maybe that something
got her killed.

(BABY CRYING)

This is a bad time for me,
my boss will be home
any minute.

BILLY: Listen, Sofie.

Worse time for Viviana.
She was killed this morning.

Oh, my God.

(CRYING CONTINUES)

May I... May I help?

That'll buy us 40 seconds. Go.

All right, Viviana texted you
this morning.

She wanted you to meet her
at the park?

Yes, I took the kids
and waited for an hour,
but she never showed.

How did you meet Viviana?

Through the agency.

The au pair agency
or the escort agency?

I don't understand.

You know who would understand?

Immigration.

A prostitution charge voids
your visa and sends you right
back to Belarus.

We're not prostitutes.

We get paid for going on dates
but what we do on those dates
is for us to decide.

I'm guessing you usually
have sex?

Do you not date?

A guy takes you for dinner,
and you have a nice time.

At end of night, sometimes
you have sex, no?

-Not yet.
-It's the same thing.

There's nothing shameful,
what we do empowers women.

News flash!

It's still illegal.

So why don't you give us
something useful?

How does this au pair/escort
agency work?

(SIGHS) I'll show you.

LAURA:
Sugar Slice is a fake game.

Enter the right code
and voila.

A shopping list of hookers
comes up.

The whole agency's
run through an app.

That's kind of genius.

Brainchild of
Charlotte Bernice,
London School of Economics.

Two years of
management consulting

and now the owner of a very
successful au pair agency.

Which doubles as a very
successful prostitution ring.

Bingo!

The men pay 15,000 bucks
for every 10 dates.

It gives a new meaning
to buying in bulk.

Oh, but wait.

There's more.

At the end of every month,
the app provides
an address to a party

and a code to get in.
The johns come and
check out the inventory.

And how does she
pay the women?

Charlotte deposits $1,000
into their account
for every date.

So it's like the Uber of sex.

Why would Charlotte
want to knock off
one of her employees?

Sofie said that Viviana
and Charlotte were fighting
at the last mixer.

Great,
let's pick up Charlotte.

She's smart.
If we want anything to stick,

we have to catch
her red-handed.

Do you have a plan?

It'll be fish in a barrel.

Two to three dozen beautiful
women roaming the room
waiting to be asked on a date.

You will slip in.

Peruse the inventory,
make your pick.

As soon as Charlotte swoops
in to seal the deal,

we swoop in.

Billy Soto looking fly.

Shame you don't get to see
me in action working my magic.

Oh, but we will.
Watching through your eyes.

So, keep that magic focused
on the case.

Okay, one print out of every
au pair on the sexy time app.

Great, they're all going to be
at the party tonight,

and any one of them could give
us a motive on Charlotte.

That's why we really need
someone in there getting close
to the women

while Billy deals
with Charlotte.

But it's not going to be easy.

These girls are from
12 different countries.

It's like Model UN,
except with real models.

Too bad we don't have
a translator.

Bonjour. Guten tag.

(GASPS)

How many languages
do you speak?

Six, still a little rusty
on my Mandarin,
but I could get by.

Saddle up.

Wow. The investigative
assistant gets an assignment
in the field?

-Score.
-The investigative assistant
requests that you don't speak

about him as if
he's not in the room.

Oh, of course.
Tell him I'm sorry.

It's just that I've never seen
an investigative assistant
assigned actual fieldwork.

Uniformed officers will be
standing by just in case
anything gets interesting.

Forstas .

"Understood."
I'm Swedish on my dad's side.

Maybe I should tag along
to work the ladies.

Um, Detective Diamond,
I would still love to get
a moment with you.

For sure,
be there in a jiffy.

A long jiffy.

This might not be saying much,
but she's smarter
than she looks.

Be careful with that one.

Don't worry about me,
got it covered.

Okay, team.

Ready to take down the newest
version of the world's oldest
profession?

(CHEERING)

The things I do for my job.

Isn't this just the best?

Maybe we should have a
secret handshake, you know?

Or like, a whistle,
like brrrrrr.

Oh, my God, I love fieldwork.
I just keep pinching myself.

Billy.

Whoa, okay.

Pretty sure we've established
that neither of those two
women is Charlotte,

so let's move along.

Sure, sure.

-Switching to Max.
-MAX: What a great place!

Max, are you okay?

(MAX SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(MAX SPEAKING ITALIAN)

-MAX: Nope. Ow.
-Billy, get over there,

and pull that Fraeulein
off Max.

Hey, hey, get up.

Any info on Charlotte?

Not yet, these women
aren't talky, they're handsy.

Knock, knock.

So, hope I'm not interrupting.

Nope, nothing's happening.

So, it's, uh, been an hour.
You free?

There's more where
that came from.

Any minute now.

Uh, what's he doing?

Infiltrating.

Okay.

Well, shall we?

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Oh, wow!

Excuse me.

(HIGH PITCHED) Hi!

Hi! I got your message,
but I thought you didn't
want me to stop by...

Why wouldn't I want

my boyfriend to stop by?

(CHUCKLES) Boyfriend?
I like the sound of that...

Yes, yes, this is Tony.

-My man. Mmm.
-I'm your man?

Nice to meet you.

Detective Pulaski
is here to see

if anything is going on
between me and Jake,

Captain Broderick,
which of course is ridiculous

because I mean, look at us.

Look at us.

Hey, guys.

-Tony.
-Jake.

I was just explaining
to Detective Pulaski

that my boyfriend likes
to stop by the workplace.

And we're all cool with it.

Aren't we?

Totally cool

with this guy and my ex-wife.

Okay, well, I don't want
to interrupt anything.

So, we'll chat tomorrow.

-Good night.
-Night.

Nice to meet you.

Good night.

Thank you.

You just totally used me.

Yes, I kinda did, yes.

For the record, I liked it.

You just called me your
boyfriend, does that mean I
get to call you my girlfriend?

I'd like that.

Yeah, me too.

Oh, we've got Charlotte.

See you later, girlfriend.

She's heading to Billy.

You're a new face.

I am Charlotte, your host.

Are we having fun?

Yes, we are.

I, uh...

I like the options.

Well, yes, I'm very choosy
about who I employ.

Now, how does this all
work exactly?

Fifteen grand a month
for the year,

and in return you get
the complete girlfriend
experience.

Ten dates a month with
a gorgeous young woman.

And no relationship demands,
no drama.

I wanna make sure
I get what I pay for.

All these women,
they're down to...

You pick the girl, she will
take care of you, and I will
take care of the payment.

Well, I did hear
about this one girl.

-Okay.
-Viviana?

Mmm, she didn't
come in tonight.

You wanna see something?

Take a look at this.

Viviana didn't come in tonight
because she was murdered.

And seeing as how
you just committed
ten acts of pandering,

I suggest you start talking.

Uh, I had no idea.

Really?

Because from what I've heard,
you and Viviana got into it
really bad a few weeks ago.

Only because she had a,

a bandage on her chest
and she wouldn't tell me
what happened to her.

And I got mad because
she wouldn't let me help.

One of her dates
was getting rough?

I'm not sure, but yeah,
I think so.

All right, I'm going to need
a list of all of her clients.

I don't have the names,
but they're all in this room.

Listen up, no one goes
in or out. We may
have trapped our killer.

So, based on our intel,
the guy we're looking for
likes it rough.

Oh, well, I can totally help
because my new BFFs

gave me intel on almost every
Tom, Dick, and Harry
john in this place.

Okay, so big brawny guy
right there is completely
harmless, he's a crier.

Freakazoid next to him
likes to have his girls
covered in food.

Then we have Sir Scarf
right here...

Well, Reiko, what did
you say about him?

(SPEAKING JAPANESE)

Right, he's a biter.

And then man-bun just has
a lot of Mommy issues, so...

Billy,
Viviana had a bite mark.

That's our guy.

Okay, on it.

Scarf.

Can I talk to you
for a minute?

Hey!

(SCREAMS)

Put her down, let her go.

Let her go.

Looks like you bit off
more than you could chew.

Good job.

Look.

We met through the link,
but...

I really fell for Viviana.

I gave her my grandma's ring.

I wanted to marry her
until I found out
what she really was.

So you didn't know that she
was on the clock.

Of course I knew she was
a pro, I just didn't know
she was a skank.

And there's a difference?

Come on, Doug.

Huge. Check out
the Erotic Hubdown.

It's a website where people
post reviews about
sex workers.

So it's Yelp for hookers.

Basically. I found out
about the bad reviews
a few nights ago and

I was skeeved out.

I met her for coffee yesterday
and took my grandma's
ring back.

That's the last time
I saw her.

What time?

8:30 a.m.?

Soon as I left, I went
straight to my doctor
to get tested for STDs.

You can check with his office.

I'm going to need
those records.

In the meantime, I'm willing
to tread your client directly
to a holding cell.

MAX: The Erotic Hubdown.

Three Vivians,
but only one Viviana
in New York, okay.

Twenty-three reviews.

Wait, Charlotte said
Viviana only had a few clients

so there's no way she'd
have 23 different reviews.

Wow, and they're all bad.

"I hired her and
she overcharged me."

Then someone else says,
"I hired her and she stole
my wallet."

Wait, and look at this one.
"I hired her and she gave
me crabs."

Isn't it weird they all
start the exact same way,
"I hired her..."

Uh... Scoot.

Let's see if you can pull any
metadata on these reviews.

Should be able to see
some IP addresses...

MAX: They're all the same.

-Crystal Cox.
-Crystal Cox.

She did not put a lot
of effort into her porn name.

Mine's "Frisky Longwood."

Just text me the address.

Okay.

Crap, I gotta do my interview
with CDIU.

Watch yourself, rumor has it
she's looking to transfer
someone out.

During a hiring freeze?
We're understaffed as it is.

Ask Laura and Billy to
bring in Crystal Cox.

So, with respect to
Detective Diamond.

Fox example, you feel that, as
two women of the same rank,

you get equivalent
assignments?

Yes, absolutely.

Oh, okay, great, uh.

Detective Diamond thought
the Captain might be giving
you better cases.

What? She's the one that
gets the best cases.

I can't believe she said that.

Okay, I should tell you
I just lied about that.

Not that I'm a liar,
just...

I sensed you were holding back
so I used the standard
false evidence ploy,

sure you're aware.

Huh, well...

So, you were saying
Detective Diamond
gets the best cases?

And you know what else?
Everything she asks for
gets approved.

She just has to cite
her gut instinct.

Yeah, check her paperwork
under the question,

"Why is this resource
required?"

She writes the word "gut"
or she just draws a huge
smiley face.

No one else could get
away with that.

Anything else?

Yeah, she almost
always gets paired
with Billy in the field.

Why is that? Shouldn't
we like rotate or something?

And do you have any idea why
Captain Broderick seems to
favor Detective Diamond?

Can this stay between
you and me?

-Okay.
-Promise?

Swear.

(MURMURING) Laura Diamond
is by far the best
detective here.

I'm sorry, can you
just say that...

Laura Diamond is by far
the best detective here.

But if you repeat
a word of that

to anyone, I will
hunt you down.

Clear?

I've been a detective a long
time, I'm pretty good at it.

You really expect me to
believe that you're real name
is Crystal Cox?

My bad.

So you're not a prostitute?

I'm a podiatrist.

Can I go now?

Uh, not yet.

Viviana Costa, apparently
you know her.

Now she actually is
a prostitute.

And not a very good
one according to your reviews
on the Erotic Hubdown site.

(SIGHS) Viviana stole
my fiance.

Who is Doug Lowe.

Yeah, it was.

Until he left me for some
20-year-old hooker.

Uh, it sounds like he thought
of her as more of
a girlfriend.

He is paying her
to be with him.

Well, he was.

We discovered her
body yesterday.

Yesterday?

I saw her yesterday.

Where?

I've been following Doug.

Yesterday morning, he had
coffee with her and

I filmed them so I could
show him that she didn't
love him.

He was just another john.

Look, as soon as Doug's out of
sight, she hops into a car
with some other customer.

This was taken right
before she was shot.

JAKE: It doesn't show
the license plate.

Whoever's driving
is probably our killer.

I think you're right.

JAKE: It's too bad we can't
see who it is.

We don't need to.

I know exactly who's
behind the wheel.

(POLICE SIREN BLARING)

And how exactly do you regard
Captain Broderick
in the workplace?

Oh, with utmost respect.

Utmost respect.

(MAN SHOUTING)

Ooh, you certainly are
a creative driver.

Surprisingly hard
to take notes...

Well, I could always
drop you off.

No way, this is my first
actual field assignment in
New York, I'm good.

You're a full-blown CDIU
Detective and you've
never been in the field?

Oh, no, I have, just not
a New York field.

In Wisconsin, I was in
Robbery, Homicide forever.

Uh...

Enough about me, you and
the Captain were working
at different precincts

when you got divorced?

-When I filed, yeah.
-(CAR HORN BLARING)

So you got divorced
after you filed at some point,
is that a long time?

Or, how does that work?

LAURA: He took forever to sign
the papers, I took forever
to send them in.

Normal dysfunctional stuff.

-Phew...
-You suck.

Normal dysfunctional stuff.

You're married, yeah?

Not anymore.

Why did you think
I was married?

You said you were Swedish
on your father's side,

"Pulaski" sounds Polish,
so I figured it was
your married name.

Smart.

Wait, I thought we were going
in to get the bad guy?

Nope, bad guy's coming to us.

(ALARM BLARING)

What the hell do you
think you're doing?

Inside the consulate
you're on Brazilian soil.

Out here, we can legally
arrest you for murder.

You crazy...

Don't even think about it.

Come on, let's go.

Not bad for your first
New York field trip.

Do it.

I have a feeling
it'll be good for you.

Ballistics matched your gun
to the gun used to kill
Viviana Costa.

You don't understand.

What, you picked her up
after a coffee date,
took her into the woods,

shot her and you weren't
even late for work.

What more should I understand?

She was bribing me, okay?

When I processed her work visa
a few months ago,

she offered me 20 grand
to falsify a permanent visa.

But not for herself.

-For her brother.
-Yeah, she thought he'd be
better off in the US.

-So what, she didn't pay up?
-She did.

It was so easy for her to get
this money, so I figured,

why not up the price
to 50 grand?

And she freaked out.

She said she was going
to turn me in

for accepting bribes.

That would have been
a 10-year sentence in Brazil!

Well, now you don't have
to worry about that.

Because you're going to be
locked up right here in the US

for the rest of your life.

And by the way,

you look nothing like
David Hasselhoff.

BILLY: Now give it up,
y'all, come on!

(CHEERING)

-Seriously?
-BILLY: Okay.

Demolishing a Trans Am,
was that necessary?

Oh, um, yeah.

Thanks to the boys' baseball
bat, a killer's behind bars,

and we didn't have to
involved the State Department.

So, I've finished my report.

Captain, may I speak
with you please?

With all due respect, sir,

I have found several acts of
impropriety that absolutely
mandate a personnel change.

What impropriety?

Just in my executive
summary here...

"The Captain's relationship
with Detective Diamond is
far from resolved,

"and inserts itself
into the workplace
on a daily basis.

"As does the flirtation
between Detectives
Soto and Bose."

Oh, but don't say
anything to them because
they're not aware of it yet.

How do you know about that?

Please, do I look like
I was born yesterday?

Sort of.

You also have the
administrative assistant
working in the field.

The same one who worked here
for months off the books.

All in, this precinct violates
pretty much every personnel
code in the book.

Unfortunately, the form I'm
required to fill out doesn't
allow for me to indicate

some of the other things
I have witnessed.

-I get it, Detective.
-Unparalleled teamwork.

Whip-smart sleuthing, and a
record number of closed cases.

Sir.

The past few days have been
a revelation.

You all have managed to excel
even when wildly understaffed.

But the rules are the rules,
so...

Please excuse my hesitation...

Oh, and my tendency
to twist my fingers
when I'm nervous.

...while I tell you
my proposed
personnel change.

Detective Pulaski, let me
stop you there.

If anyone is going
to be transferred,

-it's me.
-Sir.

That's not exactly
what I had in mind.

L-bizzle.

Anyone know why Jake sent up
the Bat signal?

We assume it's about
who's getting transferred.

Can we please not use
the "T" word?

I usually listen to Jake
better after a few drinks.

Bar Keep, beer with
a beer chaser please.

-(GLASS TINKERING)
-Shh...

Well, thank you all
for joining me.

It seemed like we needed
a drink after the stress of
the past few days.

But the CDIU's investigation
has ended.

And it has revealed what
we all knew to be true,

that things could not continue
as they had been.

Because we have been
understaffed for far too long.

And due to a hiring freeze,
we couldn't bring anyone in,

unless, that is, the CDIU
suggested that we transfer in
someone, so...

Ladies and gentleman.

And Hal.

I'd like to introduce you
to the newest member
of the 2nd Precinct,

Detective Frankie Pulaski.

Hey...

Thanks, guys.

Whoo!

-Congrats.
-Thanks, thanks...

Welcome aboard, Detective.

Thank you, Detective.

So you turned in your report?

Basically wrote itself,
once I realized who the
anonymous complaint was from.

You know who it was?

Went back and did
a little digging.

We've been seriously
backlogged in CDIU,

so once I realized
the complaint was submitted
only two days

after Captain Broderick
was transferred
to the 2nd Precinct...

Me?

Mmm...

Oh, my God.

This was a five-month-old
complaint?

Sent in by someone
who referred to your ex
as "Captain Man-Child."

(CHUCKLES) Don't worry.

Your secret is safe with me.

And your secret is
safe with me.

I'm not sure
what you're referring to.

Your husband.

I'm so sorry.

Um...

Wow, how did you know?

Well, you obviously don't
know jack about how
divorce works.

So I did a little
digging myself...

Is that why you moved
to New York?

(SIGHS)

I'm, uh,
guessing you can relate.

Being a cop who was
married to a cop...

After it happened,

I became

that woman whose husband
died on the job.

I miss him every day.

But...

I am really ready
to start over.

Well, welcome to the
2nd Precinct, Wisconsin.

Starting over is
our specialty.

-Oh, hey!
-Oh, hey!

-Whoo.
-Whoo!

-So fun!
-Yeah.

Detective Pulaski,
somebody over there
wants to say hi.

Oh!

Fantastic, yeah.

And then there was one person
in the precinct too many.

Am I right, or am I right?

So, it looks like we are safe.

Till the next time
nothing happens.

There will be no next time
nothing happens.

Understood?

Understood, Detective.

MAX: Oh, careful!
BILLY: Whoa!

FRANKIE: Sorry!
BILLY: You're just
hurling them.

-Oh! Go Frankie!
-Got the board!

Do you think there's any
chance she weaseled
her way in here,

so that she could
keep an eye on us?

No.

Go, Frankie, get busy.
Go. Go. Go.

I kind of like her.

Go. Go. Go. Go. Go.

And I, for one,
have nothing to hide.

Me neither.

BILLY: Go. Go.
It's your birthday,
it's your birthday.

It's your birthday,
it's your birthday.

Go. Go. Go. Go.
(LAUGHING)