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1
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:10,677
Pay attention to the film.
You'll miss the scary bits.
2
00:00:11,469 --> 00:00:14,848
I have to remember to take Alfie to flute
on Tuesdays and Mandarin on Wednesdays.
3
00:00:14,931 --> 00:00:16,725
I have to figure out
what capital gains tax is
4
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:19,352
and why this man
is so mad at me for not paying it.
5
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:23,023
And then, I have to wash my clothes,
and dry my clothes, and wear my clothes,
6
00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:24,941
and then wash them again,
and it never ends.
7
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:28,445
So frankly, Jen, the dry Egyptian man
is the least of my worries.
8
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:29,904
Look!
9
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:32,824
Yeah, this one's a bit naff anyway.
I want a proper scare.
10
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:51,509
Do you know what
it feels like to be dead?
11
00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:54,637
Oh! Hi, Dad. Forgot it was Wednesday.
We're having a scary movie marathon.
12
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,307
-Can I call you back?
- Wait for me. I'm almost home.
13
00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:58,767
Okay. Happy Halloween.
14
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,810
Mmm. Happy Halloween, pet.
15
00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:05,565
Can't you do that in private?
It's so morbid.
16
00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:07,734
It's not my fault you're a massive pussy.
No offence.
17
00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:08,860
I am not a pussy.
18
00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:10,862
Okay.
19
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,078
Put your hand in this box.
20
00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:19,829
Why? What's in it?
21
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,247
Oh, are you afraid?
22
00:01:48,566 --> 00:01:50,694
You know what?
I don't need to prove anything to you.
23
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,237
-Oh, okay.
-So, yeah.
24
00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:54,572
Oh, there's a rat in here.
25
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:55,657
-What?
-What?
26
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:58,785
- Oh, no!
27
00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:00,078
Why would you do that?
28
00:02:00,161 --> 00:02:03,039
- I thought it was empty!
-I fucking hate Halloween!
29
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:11,381
No, I wasn't evading tax.
Yeah, Hercule. Four years.
30
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,675
No, sir, I would never take your mick.
31
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:17,178
Well, I didn't have thumbs,
32
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,681
and you have to consider
I was very, very small.
33
00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:20,765
Hello?
34
00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:25,478
-When's it get scary?
- Soon.
35
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,605
They haven't introduced the creature yet.
36
00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:42,120
- A crone!
37
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,583
Oh. It's just me.
38
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,127
Did you just call me a crone?
39
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:50,670
Is that the word I used?
40
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:54,841
I'm not that frumpy, am I?
41
00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:58,595
Look, Carrie, you have been given a gift.
You're single on Halloween.
42
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:00,513
It's the perfect time
to step out of your comfort zone.
43
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,098
There's so many options.
44
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:05,560
Classic slut, topical slut,
scary slut, slut slut.
45
00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,562
Can I be a slut on Halloween?
46
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:09,105
Sluts don't have to pay
capital gains tax, do they?
47
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,107
Unfortunately, sluts do have to pay tax.
48
00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:17,155
-What if I've forgotten how to do it?
-Do what?
49
00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:19,491
Interact with men
with a view to sex in the future?
50
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:20,867
Don't phrase it like that to begin with.
51
00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:23,203
I've got so comfortable with Kash,
52
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:27,165
I've forgotten how to be sexy.
53
00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:30,418
Well, it's like riding a seductive bike.
It'll come back to you.
54
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:35,465
And if it doesn't, you know,
just be yourself.
55
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:40,345
And you fell in love with me,
but I can hardly blame you.
56
00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:44,015
All men do. I'm irresistible.
57
00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,572
I'm sorry for what I did.
58
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,369
And I'd do it all over again if I had to.
59
00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:06,830
And you want me to what again, darling?
60
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,582
Uh, teach me how to be sexy?
61
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:13,712
Or just, I guess, um, sex adjacent.
Semi-skimmed. That's fine.
62
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:16,798
Well, you came
to the right place, dollface.
63
00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:20,510
They used to say
if it was in Hollywood and breathed,
64
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:24,931
I'd be under it, over it…
…and inside it.
65
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:28,518
Fingering, darling.
66
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:33,189
Now, listen here, pretend to fall over.
67
00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:37,902
Oops. And grab on to his johnson
for support.
68
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:42,949
Oh, no.
I seem to have forgotten my brassiere.
69
00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:47,120
Hold these for me, would ya?
70
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:50,331
If you don't know
what to do with your hands,
71
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:53,376
just put them out like this
and shake your tushy.
72
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:56,504
Always look like you're listening,
even when you're not.
73
00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:57,422
Mm-hmm.
74
00:04:57,505 --> 00:05:00,133
Laugh at everything they say,
even if it ain't funny.
75
00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:05,221
Pretend you're illiterate
and get them to read the menu to you.
76
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,931
Men love a dum-dum.
77
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:11,144
Uh-- When did we make a martini?
78
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:16,107
Do keep up, darling,
or I'll leave you behind.
79
00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:17,317
Oh.
80
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,237
"Times your Nan called you fat."
Do you want that for the body image shelf,
81
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,781
or shall I keep it
for the family trauma wing?
82
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,157
Hit me.
83
00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:26,701
Old cow.
84
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:35,460
Hmm.
I think I found something interesting.
85
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,756
They're numbered
like part of a series.
86
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,925
-You more afraid of cancer or bears?
-Bears.
87
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,219
I have my reasons.
88
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:45,804
The numbers are a list.
89
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,014
If we find number one, we'll find
what you're most afraid of in life.
90
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:50,225
And that could be what's holding me back
from my power?
91
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,769
Try and find the rest.
Maybe there's a horror section.
92
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:55,021
Or would they be
in something scary-looking?
93
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:57,982
No offence, your subconscious
isn't subtle. There's usually a sign.
94
00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,067
Okay.
95
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:08,785
I think I found it.
96
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:14,582
And that is why you never go on
a river cruise without your diaphragm.
97
00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:38,690
Why, look I'm--
98
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:41,985
I'm young and beautiful.
99
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:44,029
Oh, uh, thank you. I--
100
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:46,740
So smooth and tight.
101
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,034
Uh, yeah.
102
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:52,746
Well, thank you for your tips.
I feel much better about it all.
103
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,164
Wait. No.
104
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,334
- I don't wanna go.
105
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:11,264
♪ Well, I'm feelin' kinda funny
'Cause life is like a game ♪
106
00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,682
♪ Facin' like an enemy ♪
107
00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:17,562
♪ That's just who I--
That's just who I am ♪
108
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,565
5,679.
109
00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:23,443
"What if there is a snake in the toilet,
and I don't notice, and I sit down,
110
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:26,237
and the snake goes up my bum
and then there's a snake up my bum?"
111
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:27,947
Yep.
112
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,616
Honestly, I thought that would be higher.
113
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,497
Is that number one? What is it?
114
00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:39,250
Intimacy. You're afraid of intimacy.
115
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:42,087
Okay, have we double-checked
"Snake in the bum"
116
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,631
-because that's not at all--
-I'm going to give you some homework.
117
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,049
Before you come in to see me next week,
118
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:49,219
I want you to tell one person in your life
you love them.
119
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:53,598
I want you to say it without
qualification, without minimising it,
120
00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:54,891
without turning it into a joke.
121
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:57,102
It could bring us closer to your power.
122
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,020
Can you do that for me?
123
00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,315
Course. Easy.
124
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:08,947
Okay.
125
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,908
Okay. Okay, just do it.
126
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,535
Hey. Hey.
127
00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:15,662
I need to tell you something
while maintaining eye contact,
128
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,205
so don't even think about blinking.
129
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,583
I--
130
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,336
What are you doing?
131
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:24,796
Oh, um.
132
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,425
People get to be other things
on Halloween, right?
133
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,511
-Yes.
-So, I'm gonna be a cat.
134
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:34,848
Cats don't have responsibilities.
Cats don't have to pay taxes,
135
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:37,308
or raise children,
or brush their teeth every week.
136
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,226
I'm sorry, week?
137
00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:41,896
-See you in the morning.
- Wait! Um, before you go, um--
138
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:48,862
Hey. So, I, uh,
just wanted to let you know…
139
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:54,951
You know…
…I really, like, appreciate you and…
140
00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:01,958
Pfft! I fucking love ya, bro!
141
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,628
Did you just say you love me?
142
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:08,340
Maybe, I don't know.
What are you, the love police?
143
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,175
Ever heard of ACAB, pig?
144
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,677
Ha! That's what you sound like, mate.
145
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,709
I'ma break it down for you
146
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,311
Mom, I love you.
147
00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:05,355
Mother, I have come to love you.
148
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,816
Mum, you gave me life. I love you.
149
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:09,984
-Okay.
150
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,612
Please leave a message for…
151
00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:13,863
-You fucking bitch!
- Hello.
152
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,407
You don't have anything better
to be doing.
153
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:17,075
-This is Mary Regan.
-I hope you get dementia!
154
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:19,327
Mum! Mother. Mama.
155
00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:23,081
I was just calling to say I love you.
Like children do. I love you so much.
156
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:25,500
I just want you to know that.
Love, love, love!
157
00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:32,173
One in, one out, you animals!
158
00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:39,097
Move, losers.
159
00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:46,312
Okay. Sexy.
160
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,090
I didn't invite you.
161
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,009
Aw, spoilsport.
162
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,887
Can't a girl have a little fun?
163
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:24,142
- You gonna be long?
164
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,936
Two minutes.
165
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,734
Is that a man I hear?
166
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,402
Don't you dare.
167
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:45,330
Why don't you come on in here
and help me wipe, big boy?
168
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,290
Uh, gee.
169
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,417
I feel like you can do that yourself.
170
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:52,212
Dammit. I'm out of practice.
171
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:53,463
Get out!
172
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:57,634
Never!
I wanna suckle from the teat of life!
173
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,679
-I want this body, darling.
174
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:03,473
And I always get what I want.
175
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,018
Carrie? Are you okay?
176
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:10,689
Did you stick on a wax strip
and get too scared to pull it off?
177
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:12,941
I'm Dahlia. I'm Dahlia.
178
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:18,029
I'm Carrie. I'm Carrie. I'm Carrie.
179
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,704
-Carrie?
180
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,171
Carrie?
181
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,727
Hello, handsome.
182
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,584
♪ Let's have a satanic orgy ♪
183
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:18,631
♪ Deep in the forest
In the dead of night ♪
184
00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:21,843
♪ The full moon is the only light ♪
185
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:25,472
♪ 'Round a magic circle
Our bodies start to sway ♪
186
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:29,601
♪ All the pretty witches
Have come out to play ♪
187
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:36,358
♪ Take a ride on my broom ♪
188
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:43,823
♪ We're naked under the moon ♪
189
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:50,330
♪ Maybe I'll make love to you ♪
190
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,136
-We're closed!
191
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:12,602
If you want to steal something,
just take it. I don't care.
192
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,535
No, no!
193
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,579
Please, just stay still.
194
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:35,125
-Hey, what are you doing?
195
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,334
No, no, no! Wait. Wait.
196
00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:38,837
-That's not Carrie.
197
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,046
-Oh, God.
198
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,550
Two of you. That's more like it.
199
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:46,302
The devil's triangle.
What is it the French say?
200
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,138
The fuck à trois?
201
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,681
-What? Then who is it?
202
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:52,726
-Some old actress.
-Old, he says? Look at me.
203
00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:55,353
I'm young and lithe.
204
00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:57,230
Carrie, stop fucking around!
Snap out of it!
205
00:14:57,313 --> 00:15:00,817
Carrie's gone, red.
It's Dahlia from now on.
206
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,444
Practice that with your tongue.
207
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:05,572
Hey. Joan Crawford.
Fuck off out of that body. It's not yours.
208
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,032
Make me.
209
00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:12,370
- What should we do?
210
00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:15,165
We're doing an exorcism.
211
00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:23,548
♪ Got hair as black as night ♪
212
00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:28,803
♪ Got a skirt that's a-ooh so tight ♪
213
00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:34,142
♪ I'm tellin' you I've got an itch ♪
214
00:15:37,062 --> 00:15:39,189
♪ She's my witch ♪
215
00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:42,317
Once you have them restrained,
216
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,862
I like to go in and evoke Jesus Christ.
217
00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:47,572
They hate that.
218
00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:50,992
-Step one, first one is my favourite step.
219
00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:52,702
-You're gonna shout…
-Ugh, she keeps looking at me.
220
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:54,913
- …"The power of Christ"…
-Well, then don't look.
221
00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,915
-I can't. She keeps…
222
00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:59,209
- …doing that.
223
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,710
Stop giving her attention.
224
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,003
-It's what she wants.
-Okay.
225
00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:04,839
I just love this position
so much. This is my personal…
226
00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:06,216
Have you two ever fucked?
227
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,134
-Ew. No.
-No!
228
00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:09,678
What do you mean, "ew"?
I didn't say, "ew."
229
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:11,930
-I didn't mean "ew" like you disgust me.
230
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:13,890
I did, but I didn't say that,
'cause it would be rude.
231
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,642
It just came out! It was instinctual.
232
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:18,228
Also, I just processed that.
Wow, very mean.
233
00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:32,075
Ooh!
234
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:37,163
-Stop it! She's getting in our heads.
235
00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:39,416
Okay, I'm bored of this.
236
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:41,876
-No.
237
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,880
♪ I like to wear my human skin outside
In disguise ♪
238
00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:47,173
How did you, um--
239
00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:51,344
A veteran like me
has wrists of steel, darling.
240
00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:54,180
You know, from all the handjobs.
241
00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:55,557
Ugh, yeah, we got it.
242
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,976
♪ Okay, cool
It's a party with my ghouls ♪
243
00:16:58,059 --> 00:17:00,103
No. No.
244
00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:13,950
-Hello.
245
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,328
-Where'd she go?
246
00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:22,459
Come on. We need to find her.
247
00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:25,295
Mm-hmm.
248
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,047
Are you serious? It's Carrie.
249
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:28,840
She's built
like a strand of dry spaghetti.
250
00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:31,134
No, it's not Carrie I'm scared of.
251
00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:34,095
Dahlia was a psycho.
252
00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:35,597
She had six husbands,
253
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,475
and five of them died falling down
the stairs.
254
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,810
-Well, you know that's--
-And the sixth one shot himself
255
00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:43,855
-in the back with a crossbow.
256
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:04,125
I need your help here.
257
00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:06,086
-Carrie needs your help.
258
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:12,467
…maybe Carrie can just share
with this lady.
259
00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:16,680
Okay, we get Carrie Monday, Wednesday,
Friday, and she can take the rest.
260
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,015
-Absolute coward.
261
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:20,850
Fine.
262
00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:23,353
Stay here then. All by yourself.
263
00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:42,080
♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪
264
00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:24,748
You really shouldn't leave
sharp objects lying around.
265
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,541
Terribly unsafe.
266
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:28,293
Just get back!
267
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:39,679
Shame. I prefer them circumcised.
268
00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:41,848
Stop making her gross.
She wouldn't like it.
269
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:45,310
What about what I like, hmm?
I like this body.
270
00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:47,604
I like being alive.
271
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:51,733
So, we can't have you
spilling the beans on me, can we?
272
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,109
No.
273
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:57,280
Huh?
274
00:20:02,786 --> 00:20:05,205
- Look at you, Braveheart!
275
00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:07,123
-Are you crying?
276
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,333
- No.
277
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:11,169
♪ I took my baby to a horror show ♪
278
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,881
♪ That's the only place she wants to go ♪
279
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:19,344
♪ She thinks that Dracula is so divine ♪
280
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:23,056
♪ And she wants to go steady
With the Frankenstein ♪
281
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:49,457
He's in! Third one today.
282
00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:51,584
Think of all the unwanted kittens
we're preventing.
283
00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:15,567
Hello, little man!
284
00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:18,611
You can plead for your testicles
all you want.
285
00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:19,946
I can't hear you.
286
00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:22,907
You won't feel a thing.
287
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,744
And you're really better off
not being a father.
288
00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:27,328
Too much responsibility.
289
00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:29,873
I dropped my nephew
on his head the other day,
290
00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:32,417
no one saw,
and I just didn't tell anybody.
291
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:33,960
Not my problem.
292
00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:35,045
Right.
293
00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:39,174
Reginald's escaped from his cage again.
294
00:21:39,257 --> 00:21:41,009
How does he keep doing that?
295
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,349
Reginald?
296
00:21:48,892 --> 00:21:50,393
Reginald?
297
00:21:53,730 --> 00:21:57,317
You can't walk back to Nicaragua, Reggie.
We've been through this.
298
00:22:06,493 --> 00:22:09,287
Ow! Shit it anyway!
299
00:22:09,371 --> 00:22:11,706
Oh.
300
00:22:12,415 --> 00:22:16,544
Well, that's still okay because
that dosage is only enough for a ca…
301
00:22:26,805 --> 00:22:29,641
Libertade.
302
00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:31,351
Libertade!
303
00:22:32,143 --> 00:22:35,105
-Not so scary now, are you?
304
00:22:36,231 --> 00:22:39,526
Ha! Oh, I bet you'd love to stab me,
wouldn't you?
305
00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:44,823
-Go on, then. Too scared? Come on.
306
00:22:44,906 --> 00:22:45,949
-Oh, Jesus!
307
00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:48,576
-Kash! Stop it.
-Sorry.
308
00:22:48,660 --> 00:22:50,662
God, I've no idea how to do an exorcism.
309
00:23:00,338 --> 00:23:03,925
-Mum?
-Jen! Are you okay?
310
00:23:04,009 --> 00:23:07,345
-Wha--
-Whatever it is, you can tell me.
311
00:23:07,429 --> 00:23:11,182
Cancer? AIDS?
That thing that makes your bones go soft?
312
00:23:11,266 --> 00:23:14,561
Oh, God! You're not thinking
of ending it all, are you?
313
00:23:14,644 --> 00:23:18,857
Life is worth living, Jen!
Even for you!
314
00:23:18,940 --> 00:23:20,191
What are you talking about?
315
00:23:20,275 --> 00:23:22,944
That was a very worrying
voicemail you left.
316
00:23:23,028 --> 00:23:24,821
Using the L word like that.
317
00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:26,865
-So, you thought I was dying?
-Well, aren't you?
318
00:23:26,948 --> 00:23:31,036
No, I'm not dying! I was just--
I was trying to be nice.
319
00:23:33,830 --> 00:23:37,208
Well, don't ever do that again!
I had to take three buses to get here.
320
00:23:37,292 --> 00:23:40,003
I didn't even have a chance
to get out of my costume.
321
00:23:42,297 --> 00:23:43,715
Oh, Jesus, Mum.
322
00:23:43,798 --> 00:23:45,425
Looking good, Mary.
323
00:23:46,343 --> 00:23:49,012
-Whore!
- Uh, yeah, she's possessed.
324
00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:50,722
We've kind of run out of ideas.
325
00:23:50,805 --> 00:23:52,140
-Don--
-So--
326
00:23:52,223 --> 00:23:53,850
Possessed?
327
00:23:55,477 --> 00:23:57,312
I've seen this before.
328
00:23:57,395 --> 00:23:59,272
A man in my village when I was small.
329
00:23:59,356 --> 00:24:00,648
How did you drive it out?
330
00:24:00,732 --> 00:24:02,525
Well, we beat him with sticks.
331
00:24:03,568 --> 00:24:06,279
And it turned out
he-he wasn't possessed in the end.
332
00:24:06,821 --> 00:24:08,490
He was just Portuguese. Lovely man.
333
00:24:08,573 --> 00:24:11,034
But I did learn a lot
from the priest that day.
334
00:24:13,703 --> 00:24:17,665
You have to meet evil with evil.
335
00:24:19,334 --> 00:24:21,836
You are not welcome here.
336
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:25,590
And we will drive you out
of this innocent lamb,
337
00:24:25,674 --> 00:24:30,053
you harridan of Satan's own hole!
338
00:24:31,930 --> 00:24:34,683
Be gone! I command--
339
00:24:34,766 --> 00:24:36,226
What's her name?
340
00:24:36,851 --> 00:24:39,145
Uh-- I don't remember.
341
00:24:39,229 --> 00:24:40,480
I don't think anyone does anymore.
342
00:24:40,563 --> 00:24:42,399
-Mmm.
- Delia?
343
00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:43,525
-Delilah?
- Delilah?
344
00:24:43,608 --> 00:24:44,609
Dahlia!
345
00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:46,569
It's not difficult.
346
00:24:55,078 --> 00:24:57,664
- Come on, Tito!
347
00:24:58,623 --> 00:25:00,875
- Tito, no!
348
00:25:00,959 --> 00:25:03,044
Leave the cat alone! Tito!
349
00:25:07,549 --> 00:25:10,802
♪ I was a teenage Frankenstein
I was a teenage Frankenstein, oh, yeah ♪
350
00:25:12,971 --> 00:25:15,306
♪ I was a teenage Frankenstein ♪
351
00:25:15,390 --> 00:25:20,812
♪ I was a teenage Frankenstein
I was a teenage Frankenstein, oh, yeah ♪
352
00:25:30,405 --> 00:25:32,157
People still know my name.
353
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,076
-I'm still a star.
-Can you guys name a single film
354
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:36,327
-she's been in?
-No.
355
00:25:36,411 --> 00:25:37,579
Not one. Not a clue.
356
00:25:37,662 --> 00:25:40,373
Oh, come on. In the Port Rightly?
357
00:25:40,457 --> 00:25:41,541
-Mm-mmm.
- No.
358
00:25:41,624 --> 00:25:43,043
The Angel of Cleveland?
359
00:25:43,126 --> 00:25:44,586
-Of where?
-Never heard of it.
360
00:25:44,669 --> 00:25:47,088
-The Gun Goes Bang?
-Never heard of them.
361
00:25:47,172 --> 00:25:49,007
Of course it goes bang.
What else would it do?
362
00:25:49,090 --> 00:25:50,300
Now, Vivien Leigh.
363
00:25:50,383 --> 00:25:51,509
- Oh.
364
00:25:51,593 --> 00:25:53,261
-Incredible. Mmm. Yep.
-Timeless.
365
00:25:53,345 --> 00:25:54,554
Talentless prude.
366
00:25:54,637 --> 00:25:56,389
-Grace Kelly.
- Love her. Oh.
367
00:25:56,473 --> 00:25:57,766
-Lauren Bacall.
- Oh!
368
00:25:57,849 --> 00:25:59,184
-Elizabeth Taylor.
369
00:25:59,267 --> 00:26:01,186
-We remember them.
-You think you're being clever?
370
00:26:01,269 --> 00:26:03,855
I know what you're doing.
And it's not gonna work.
371
00:26:03,938 --> 00:26:08,318
See, I have to stay to rebuild my legacy.
372
00:26:09,069 --> 00:26:10,737
You will never make it as an actress.
373
00:26:10,820 --> 00:26:13,031
And Carrie's already too old
to play ingénues.
374
00:26:13,114 --> 00:26:14,532
-No! No!
- Uh-huh, uh-huh.
375
00:26:14,616 --> 00:26:16,743
You've got two more years of playing 25.
And after that,
376
00:26:16,826 --> 00:26:18,703
-you might as well be dead again!
-No, no, no, no--
377
00:26:18,787 --> 00:26:20,330
Don't listen to them!
Don't listen to them!
378
00:26:20,413 --> 00:26:22,499
-She's already got crow's feet!
379
00:26:22,582 --> 00:26:24,834
-Look!
- No! No! No, don't!
380
00:26:24,918 --> 00:26:26,378
It isn't true!
381
00:26:26,461 --> 00:26:29,089
Look, goddamn you! Look!
382
00:26:36,596 --> 00:26:38,556
I think I've bitten her tongue.
383
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:41,142
Get out of my friend, you bitch!
384
00:26:41,226 --> 00:26:42,394
Whoops.
385
00:26:46,731 --> 00:26:49,192
-We have been too soft with her.
386
00:26:50,110 --> 00:26:52,112
Kash, get the sticks.
387
00:26:52,195 --> 00:26:54,906
Prepare for war, you she-devil!
388
00:26:54,989 --> 00:26:56,950
I'll never leave!
389
00:26:57,033 --> 00:26:58,660
- Waterboard her!
-Carrie.
390
00:26:58,743 --> 00:27:00,704
-No, stop, stop, stop!
391
00:27:00,787 --> 00:27:02,288
What are you doing?
392
00:27:02,372 --> 00:27:04,541
I think we've been talking
to the wrong person.
393
00:27:04,624 --> 00:27:07,961
Hey, bud. I know you're in there,
and I know you're stronger than her.
394
00:27:08,044 --> 00:27:09,087
Be quiet!
395
00:27:09,170 --> 00:27:10,630
Because you're Carrie Jackson.
396
00:27:10,714 --> 00:27:12,882
Y-You think ordering negronis
makes you seem grown-up.
397
00:27:12,966 --> 00:27:15,051
You've never
been able to cook aubergines right.
398
00:27:15,927 --> 00:27:19,055
You finish books you don't even like
because you think they'll feel bad.
399
00:27:19,139 --> 00:27:20,765
You're a total fucking nerd!
400
00:27:20,849 --> 00:27:23,643
You're my best friend. I love you.
401
00:27:58,136 --> 00:28:00,013
I'm sorry for causing a fuss.
402
00:28:02,223 --> 00:28:03,975
Hey.
403
00:28:04,059 --> 00:28:06,728
-Are you okay?
-Yeah. She's gone.
404
00:28:08,146 --> 00:28:10,398
Well, my work here is done.
405
00:28:11,191 --> 00:28:12,317
You didn't do anything.
406
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:13,735
You're welcome.
407
00:28:17,572 --> 00:28:18,948
Are you okay?
408
00:28:20,283 --> 00:28:21,493
I'm so glad you're back.
409
00:28:21,576 --> 00:28:23,286
Yeah. Me too.
410
00:28:23,370 --> 00:28:25,872
-Did you say I had crow's feet?
411
00:28:25,955 --> 00:28:29,042
You're confused.
412
00:28:29,125 --> 00:28:30,835
-Oh.
413
00:28:33,171 --> 00:28:35,757
♪ Hold on, you don't want no problems
I'm a monster ♪
414
00:28:36,257 --> 00:28:38,593
♪ Oh, you scared
I make you shake, I make you shudder ♪
415
00:28:59,531 --> 00:29:01,074
We brought you a dressing gown.
416
00:29:01,157 --> 00:29:02,617
I-I don't want to be a cat!
417
00:29:05,537 --> 00:29:07,122
Is it too late to be a slut?30486
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