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1
00:00:04,754 --> 00:00:08,216
[grunts]
Help!
2
00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:10,719
My nachos!
[door opens]
3
00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:14,723
Hey, baby girl.
How you feeling?
4
00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,891
Maybe ready to go back to work?
5
00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:18,643
Not that I want you
out of the house.
6
00:00:18,643 --> 00:00:20,061
I mean, at this point,
7
00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:21,730
I don't think
I could fall asleep
8
00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:23,314
without the sound
of you sobbing.
9
00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:25,358
[crying]
He just broke my heart,
10
00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:28,903
and now I'm the most sad
anyone's ever been.
11
00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:30,989
Well, maybe going back
to work
12
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,615
will take your mind off it...
- [blows nose]
13
00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:34,284
Or even doing
something simple,
14
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:36,745
like changing your underwear.
- [blows nose]
15
00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:39,748
Hey, let's at least
do the underwear one.
16
00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:42,250
I can't.
I just want to watch TV.
17
00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:43,918
You've watched everything
on TV.
18
00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:47,297
HBO, Hulu, Apple--
it's all been watched.
19
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,632
Well, I was thinking
about checking out Peacock.
20
00:00:49,632 --> 00:00:51,301
I like the font
on their main page.
21
00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:52,761
Okay, no!
22
00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:54,804
You need to get
out of this house now.
23
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:58,850
Maybe find Shuli.
Go hang with Shuli.
24
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,143
[muffled] It's just
25
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:02,145
the things he said to me
were not okay.
26
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:03,938
He was like,
"If you got a problem,
27
00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:06,024
you're supposed to sit down
and talk to me."
28
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:08,610
[scoffs] Can you believe that?
He's a bad man.
29
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:11,571
- So you're not here to work?
- I'm not ready.
30
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,239
Oh, and then he was like,
31
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,200
"I want a partner
who's honest."
32
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,743
[scoffs]
Okay, Ted Bundy.
33
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,495
Listen, Brooke,
I need you to leave,
34
00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:20,663
'cause I'm busy
and you smell violent.
35
00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:22,457
- It's the nachos
- It's not.
36
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,459
Why don't you go see
what Cary's up to?
37
00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:25,919
Go hang with Cary.
38
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,505
Like, seriously,
the narrative is that Lance
39
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:31,800
is this lovable goofball,
but behind closed doors,
40
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,385
he calls you the F word
all the time.
41
00:01:34,385 --> 00:01:37,222
That does sound like him,
but, uh, maybe you should,
42
00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:40,558
uh, go find Mom, 'cause
I'm at Disney right now.
43
00:01:40,558 --> 00:01:42,393
Ah, Cary,
we're ready for you.
44
00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:44,854
- Oh.
- And sorry about that smell.
45
00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:47,065
{\an8}Jeez, I don't know
what that is.
46
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:49,734
{\an8}- It's the nachos.
- No, it's not.
47
00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:51,736
{\an8}- ♪ I-I-I'm a winner ♪
48
00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:54,239
{\an8}Cary, we are thrilled
you came in,
49
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:57,158
{\an8}because we want to talk to you
about the offer of a lifetime--
50
00:01:57,158 --> 00:02:01,579
{\an8}a powerful gay role
in Disney's next film.
51
00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:04,165
- Whoa. Really?
- Yeah.
52
00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:06,125
'Cause my boyfriend
just got nominated for a Tony
53
00:02:06,125 --> 00:02:08,002
for an important gay role
he's doing,
54
00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:10,171
so it would be nice
to also tackle
55
00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:12,090
something meaningful
for the community.
56
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:14,843
My last few roles
have been whatever.
57
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:18,137
Um, so I'd love to not just act
but make a difference.
58
00:02:18,137 --> 00:02:19,889
I-I think
that's been the problem.
59
00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:21,683
Well, then this should be
perfect for everyone involved.
60
00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:23,852
- Yeah.
- So, as you're probably aware,
61
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:26,771
our wildly successful
"Haunted Buddies" franchise
62
00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:29,524
has gotten some flak for not
having any queer characters.
63
00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:31,192
- [exhales sharply]
- But we at Disney
64
00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:34,571
are committed to fixing
that grave mistake... now.
65
00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:37,907
Yes, so, in addition
to our beloved core characters
66
00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:40,368
of Wolfy, Vampira,
and Dr. Baggo Bones...
67
00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:42,495
- [chuckles] Yeah.
- For "Haunted Buddies 4,"
68
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:46,207
we are adding...
69
00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:48,001
Globby.
- That's right.
70
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,377
Globby will be
the "Haunted Buddies"
71
00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:52,881
first-ever
openly queer character.
72
00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:57,010
Sorry, so this--
this goo i-is homosexual?
73
00:02:57,010 --> 00:03:00,054
- The goo is homosexual.
- Isn't that incredible?
74
00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:02,307
Yes. No, very cool.
75
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:06,686
Um, and how exactly is he gay?
76
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:09,898
Because he--he sort of
just looks like, uh...
77
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,691
sexless green snot.
78
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,818
Great question--
because we've also gotten
79
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:16,195
some flak for saying
a character is gay
80
00:03:16,195 --> 00:03:17,614
and then not really showing it,
81
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,741
which is why
in "Haunted Buddies 4,"
82
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:22,076
we're including
a groundbreaking scene
83
00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:25,163
where Vampira opens the door
to Globby's bedroom,
84
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:29,626
and we see Globby in bed
with another glob.
85
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:32,086
Which is huge--I mean,
for Disney to include a scene
86
00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:33,922
as unapologetically gay
as this?
87
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,965
Right?
I mean, two globs in bed--
88
00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:38,301
it doesn't get
more gayer than that.
89
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,887
[laughter]
- No. Yes, uh...
90
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:44,098
it's just,
how is that visual gay--
91
00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:45,850
the two globs in bed?
92
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:47,894
Like, does the other glob talk
93
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:50,355
and have, like,
a male voice or--
94
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:53,107
No, but if Globby
was straight,
95
00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:54,943
when Vampira opened the door,
96
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,569
then he'd be in bed
with a human woman,
97
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:59,238
But he's not.
He's in bed with another glob.
98
00:03:59,238 --> 00:04:00,657
Yeah.
99
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:03,284
So he's gay.
100
00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:06,287
No, right, right.
101
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:08,456
And, like,
he's not even a doctor, Mom.
102
00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:10,792
He's a nurse,
which, not to be whatever,
103
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,335
but gay much?
104
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:14,504
Which has to be
the root of this.
105
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,923
It's not that I'm wrong.
It's he's gay.
106
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,133
Yes, Brooke,
but I can't talk right now
107
00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:22,053
because I'm taping an interview
for "CBS Saturday Morning."
108
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,514
Sorry, yeah, I-I'm gonna
need you to get up.
109
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,766
You are very much in the shot.
- Oh, don't be sorry.
110
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:29,310
[grunts]
It's Lance who should be sorry.
111
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,312
It's just...
112
00:04:31,312 --> 00:04:33,314
he really hurt me, you know?
113
00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:34,691
Push in.
- What?
114
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:38,069
But I am finally ready
to break my silence--
115
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:39,779
and the music would be
in here--
116
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:42,532
because if I can help
even one woman--
117
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:44,033
now pan down to my hands.
- No.
118
00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:46,995
Do not pan down to her hands.
Steven, can you--
119
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,663
both: Okay.
- Oh, God, you stink.
120
00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:49,914
I'm so sorry.
121
00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:51,541
She's just having
a really hard time.
122
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:54,210
But I promise, if you'd met her
30, 31 years ago,
123
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:55,586
you'd have really loved her.
124
00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:57,296
All right,
let's just pick it up
125
00:04:57,296 --> 00:04:58,506
from the next question.
126
00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:01,801
- Yeah.
- Okay, so tell me, Pat--
127
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:04,387
what is it like
being a single woman again?
128
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,180
Oh...
[both chuckle]
129
00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:08,057
Well, I-I am trying
to get back out there,
130
00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:10,435
but I have to say,
it's been a little hard for me.
131
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:12,395
I mean, I have
a security detail
132
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:13,813
that follows me everywhere.
133
00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,440
I can't eat in restaurants
like normal,
134
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,276
so it just makes dating
a regular person tough.
135
00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:21,696
They don't all like that.
- Mm.
136
00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:23,531
So I just need
to find a person
137
00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:26,242
who isn't bothered by fame,
someone more like me.
138
00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:30,913
Wait, someone more like me--
139
00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:33,291
this is what I've been saying.
140
00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:35,376
Lance was the problem.
141
00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:37,253
A strong,
powerful businesswoman
142
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:38,796
can't be with a simple nurse
143
00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:39,714
[scoffs]
144
00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:42,008
[indistinct chatter]
145
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,843
[line trilling]
146
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,720
- Hello.
- Shuli, I'm ready.
147
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,764
- To come back to work?
- No, to date.
148
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:51,142
Who is the most powerful
businessman you know?
149
00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:52,894
Set me up...
150
00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:55,688
[sighs]
With his boss.
151
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:58,983
So gay globs
are attracted to other globs,
152
00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:02,570
and straight globs
are attracted to human women?
153
00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:05,114
So Globby just being in bed
154
00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:06,991
with another glob
is inherently gay?
155
00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:08,618
- Now you get it.
- That's exactly right.
156
00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:10,203
But, l-look, I-I think
we're getting a little
157
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,662
in the weeds here.
158
00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:14,916
Globby the Glob is
a proud queer sack of mucus,
159
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,918
and in this movie,
we see him in bed
160
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:19,295
with another
proud queer sack of mucus.
161
00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:21,089
And since this is
our first film
162
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:23,424
with such an unapologetically
gay scene,
163
00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:25,551
we're doing
a massive press push
164
00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:27,762
to let the whole world know.
165
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:30,264
- Oh, you are?
- Yes.
166
00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:32,767
So, if you're in, it will be
a bit of a whirlwind.
167
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:35,353
I-I mean, the media is gonna
have a field day with this.
168
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:36,854
And you and Globby
169
00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:38,981
will basically be the face
of the whole movie.
170
00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:41,776
So the question is,
do you want to be the face
171
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,611
of a whole Disney movie?
172
00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:49,534
The face?
Whoa.
173
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:51,911
For all of the press?
- Mm-hmm.
174
00:06:53,871 --> 00:06:57,834
You know, I can sort of see
how that logic makes sense.
175
00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,377
Yeah, yeah.
176
00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:03,089
Like, Globby's gay 'cause
he's in bed with another glob.
177
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,632
If he was straight,
he'd be in bed
178
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:06,843
with a human woman and--
179
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,553
Sorry, yeah,
I'm just remembering
180
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,930
the human woman of it all,
and--and it does make sense.
181
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:14,725
Okay, wow, this is
actually beautiful.
182
00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:17,854
Vampira opens the door, and--
and they're in bed together.
183
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:21,482
That--that is important
and--and unapologetically gay.
184
00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:24,610
And I'd be the voice of it?
Oh, my God.
185
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,195
I'm the voice of Disney's
186
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:30,616
first-ever
unapologetically gay character?
187
00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:33,995
Okay.
Yes, I am in.
188
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,455
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
189
00:07:36,455 --> 00:07:37,999
And I am actually free,
190
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:41,419
if we wanted
to start press now?
191
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:43,963
I mean, sure, Globby haunts
with the rest of the Buddies,
192
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:45,673
but then there
is this scene that--
193
00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:47,675
and I was actually skeptical
of it at first,
194
00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:51,012
but it's just
unapologetically gay,
195
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:54,182
and it is an honor
to be the face of it.
196
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,850
[cell phone chiming]
197
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:59,812
♪ Some folks are born
made to wave the flag ♪
198
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,272
♪ Ooh,
they're red, white and blue ♪
199
00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:02,857
And I think
once the movie comes out,
200
00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:05,985
audiences are gonna see
this incredibly relatable
201
00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:07,403
queer character in Globby.
202
00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:09,030
You know, he's out, he's proud,
203
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,324
he's a collection of
dust particles and snot and--
204
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:14,035
- Oh, Cary Dubek.
- Cary Dubek?
205
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,494
[cell phone chiming]
206
00:08:15,494 --> 00:08:17,455
♪ I ain't
no senator's son, son ♪
207
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:20,750
I basically demanded Disney
give me this role.
208
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:24,712
I mean, I really do think
that Globby could do for movies
209
00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:27,048
what "Pose" did for TV, hopefully.
210
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,967
[voice shakes] Sorry, it makes
me emotional talking about it.
211
00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:33,721
♪ But when the taxman
come to the door ♪
212
00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:37,808
♪ Lord, the house lookin' like
a rummage sale, yeah ♪
213
00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:39,352
♪ It ain't me ♪
214
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:43,022
{\an8}♪ I ain't
no fortunate one, no ♪
215
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:48,486
♪ ♪
216
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:50,571
[crying] I just--
if I could have seen
217
00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:52,907
a character like Globby
when I was younger,
218
00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:55,785
it--it really
could have changed my life.
219
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,370
[elevator bell dinging]
220
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,623
I wish my dad
were alive to see Globby.
221
00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:03,417
- Jesus.
- Penthouse floor.
222
00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:04,543
[exhales sharply]
223
00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:07,088
Brooke.
Hey, come on in.
224
00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:09,757
Wow.
Don't mind if I do.
225
00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:12,176
- [chuckles]
- I'm a genius.
226
00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:14,095
- So...
- [scoffs]
227
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,430
- This is the place.
- I see.
228
00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:19,600
[chuckles]
God, it is so nice
229
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,979
to be dating a powerful
businessperson like me.
230
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:25,106
Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.
231
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:27,316
My ex is a nurse,
so I think that just led
232
00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:29,151
to this huge disconnect.
233
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:32,780
Anyway, what's it like
being a tech billionaire?
234
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:35,449
Oh, he'll tell you
all about it.
235
00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:38,869
Uh, uh, sorry.
You're not my date?
236
00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:41,289
Oh, no.
He's your date.
237
00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:44,500
[grunting]
Look how high I am!
238
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,460
- Uh...
- Oh, yeah.
239
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:48,629
- Oh, um...
- So fucking high.
240
00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:51,048
- Hello up there!
- Oh, shit.
241
00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:53,175
Uh, I'm Brooke.
242
00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:54,969
Aren't I so, so high?
243
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,763
No, yes,
you are very high.
244
00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:58,973
Fuck, yes, I am.
245
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,642
Sorry,
the date's us rock climbing?
246
00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:03,519
Just him.
You're here to watch.
247
00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:05,229
Don't let her come up!
Stop her!
248
00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:07,440
It--it's okay. It's okay.
I'm not coming up.
249
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,900
I am not coming up.
[chuckles]
250
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,193
Jesus.
251
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:14,488
Yes!
[alarm rings]
252
00:10:14,488 --> 00:10:15,948
- Time!
- Time!
253
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,575
And that's how you play
Celebrity, bitch.
254
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,702
Oh, my God, okay.
All right, sit down.
255
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,620
Sit down.
[indistinct chatter]
256
00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:23,205
I'm so glad
you could come tonight.
257
00:10:23,205 --> 00:10:25,166
I haven't seen you in forever.
How are things?
258
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,417
Oh, so crazy.
259
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:28,878
All this Globby press
has been insane.
260
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,463
I haven't had a chance
to come up for air,
261
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:33,549
like, all week.
- Oh--oh, wow.
262
00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:36,177
And then today
Ted Cruz tweeted about Globby
263
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,304
and said "Haunted Buddies"
was disgusting,
264
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:41,515
so now I'm in the center
of this Twitter firestorm,
265
00:10:41,515 --> 00:10:43,976
which is so stupid.
[chuckles]
266
00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:45,561
Oh, I hadn't seen that.
267
00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:47,021
Yeah, I guess it's what comes
268
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:48,731
with being a leader
in the community now.
269
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:50,775
[chuckles]
- Okay, Cary's turn.
270
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:53,069
Ooh!
- All right, let's go, Cary.
271
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,195
60 seconds.
272
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:55,863
- Okay.
- Okay. Ready?
273
00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:57,239
And... go.
274
00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:58,949
- All right, come on, Cary.
- Come on, Cary.
275
00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:01,744
Um, pass.
276
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:03,996
Okay, all right.
277
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:06,665
Um, pass.
278
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:10,711
Oh, oh, um...
- Oh, okay.
279
00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:12,254
Uh, James Franco, uh,
was in a movie about him.
280
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:14,048
Uh, I don't know.
Give me more.
281
00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:15,716
Uh...
282
00:11:15,716 --> 00:11:16,884
pass.
283
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:18,719
[alarm rings]
Phew. Okay.
284
00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:19,720
How many did we get?
285
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,305
Well, out of 30 names,
286
00:11:21,305 --> 00:11:25,184
you could only describe
Sandra Bullock, so one.
287
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:27,728
Oh, sorry.
I'm a--I'm a better guesser.
288
00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:29,772
[sparse laughter]
289
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:32,066
[grunting]
290
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:34,276
So...
291
00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:35,820
where are you from?
292
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,738
Stop talking!
I need to focus!
293
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:40,908
[phone vibrating]
294
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:44,412
Oh.
295
00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:45,996
Hey, Mom. What's up?
296
00:11:45,996 --> 00:11:48,457
I know we were both trying
to date people more like us,
297
00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:50,167
so what hell are you in?
298
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:54,130
No, I'm on a private plane
with Simu Liu.
299
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:58,008
Sorry, like, Simu Liu
from the full Marvel Universe?
300
00:11:58,008 --> 00:12:00,428
Yep, he reached out
after my big interview.
301
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:01,762
We actually have
a lot in common.
302
00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,139
[clatter]
- Ah, oh!
303
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,932
I mean, he has
even more security than me,
304
00:12:04,932 --> 00:12:07,351
so he just really gets
what it's like to be famous,
305
00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:09,854
which is what I need in a man.
306
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:12,314
Anyway, I'm on the Marvel plane
right now,
307
00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:14,859
headed to a huge fan convention
in Malaysia,
308
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:17,653
and then we go to Japan
and then I think Stockholm?
309
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,572
- [scoffs]
- I don't know. I'm not sure.
310
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,366
I'm basically just traveling
the world with Simu Liu.
311
00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:26,245
Wait, have you two... had sex?
312
00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:28,747
Yes, we have.
He's an excellent lover.
313
00:12:28,747 --> 00:12:30,458
Plus, he's
in really good shape,
314
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,460
I think because he has
to work out every 45 minutes,
315
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:35,421
or Marvel is legally allowed
to put him down and recast him.
316
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,298
I can't believe this.
317
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:40,342
But he does spend a lot of
time on the jet for his safety.
318
00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:42,845
We haven't really
been outside in days.
319
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:44,638
Cool.
Anyway, yeah.
320
00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:46,390
My date's really great, too.
321
00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:49,643
Yeah, he's a really sweet,
salt-of-the-earth kind of dude.
322
00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:53,022
I should actually get back
to him, so, um, bye-bye now.
323
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,024
- Bye.
- Who was that?
324
00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:58,152
Did you tell 'em how high I am?
- Yeah, sorry.
325
00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:00,321
I really need this to work.
326
00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:03,741
So do you think that we could
maybe do something together?
327
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:07,077
Like, maybe where I can
actually see your face?
328
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:08,913
- Is this better?
- Fuck.
329
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:11,040
I mean, yes.
330
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,833
I told my doctor to give me
the biggest lips
331
00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:15,878
of any man
and the highest eyebrows.
332
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:18,172
And he sure did.
333
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:20,257
Okay, okay.
Uh, this person is gay.
334
00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:21,675
Ellen!
Uh, NPH!
335
00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:23,344
Uh, Ben Platt!
- No.
336
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:24,929
He's a writer.
He's an activist.
337
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,222
He wrote--he wrote
"Go Tell It on the Mountain."
338
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,389
- Oh, James Baldwin.
- Yes.
339
00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:28,849
Oh, yes, that's right.
340
00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:30,267
Oh, my God. Okay.
341
00:13:30,267 --> 00:13:32,311
Uh, this queen
is a full star--
342
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,939
- Ben Platt! NPH! Uh, Ellen!
- No.
343
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:37,191
And for the last time,
not one of us put
344
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,610
Ben Platt, Ellen, or NPH
in the bowl.
345
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:41,987
Okay, okay, um,
she's got great skin,
346
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:44,949
and she's on
a bomb new Paramount+ show.
347
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,992
all:
Oh, Curtis Paltrow!
348
00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:49,828
Oh, my God.
Who put me in?
349
00:13:49,828 --> 00:13:51,539
I'm blushing.
350
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,082
[alarm rings]
- Time.
351
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:55,084
Oh, yeah,
how is your show going?
352
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:58,420
Well, um, we're shooting
episode five right now,
353
00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:00,130
and it's good, it's good.
354
00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:02,091
Working with Ashley Tisdale
is a little tough, though,
355
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,676
'cause she's not so much
a scene partner
356
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,178
as she is as a scene adversary.
- Oh, my God.
357
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:08,514
They want me on the news
right now.
358
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,140
- What?
- What?
359
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:11,976
Yeah, yeah, to talk about
360
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:15,604
all this
anti-gay Globby backlash.
361
00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:17,106
So dumb.
362
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,691
Anyway, I should do it,
363
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,859
just 'cause I don't want
to let the community down,
364
00:14:20,859 --> 00:14:24,405
since Globby has weirdly become
this queer icon or whatever.
365
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:27,741
Yeah, I'm surprised
Globby wasn't in the bowl.
366
00:14:27,741 --> 00:14:29,368
[laughs]
- Oh, no. God, no.
367
00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:31,161
That would have been embarrassing.
368
00:14:31,161 --> 00:14:32,371
Yeah, no.
369
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:33,872
All right, well,
you guys keep playing.
370
00:14:33,872 --> 00:14:35,791
Um, I'm just gonna go Zoom
into the news
371
00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:37,543
in the other room.
[chuckles]
372
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:40,212
Oh, and if you guys
could keep it down
373
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:42,089
to a whisper,
that'd be great.
374
00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:43,841
- Okay.
- Thanks.
375
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,093
[door opens, closes]
376
00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:48,637
He's--he's really
a sweet guy.
377
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:50,556
Anderson. Hello.
378
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:53,601
[chewing loudly]
379
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,227
So you like the restaurant?
380
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:58,981
I rented out the entire place
just for the two of us.
381
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,274
Done.
Ha, I beat you.
382
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,567
[scoffs loudly]
383
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:03,777
Uh, yeah.
Very cool.
384
00:15:03,777 --> 00:15:06,947
A true perk of dating
a successful businessperson
385
00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:08,449
like me.
386
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:11,493
Um, actually,
my ex was a nurse, so he--
387
00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:14,079
[blows raspberry]
A nurse is nothing.
388
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:15,956
How much good
can one stinking nurse do?
389
00:15:15,956 --> 00:15:18,459
I'm building
hundreds of hospitals.
390
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:21,962
Oh, you are?
That's impressive.
391
00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:24,048
Good for you.
- Yeah, in the metaverse.
392
00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:25,633
So you're not
building hospitals?
393
00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:27,468
Ooh, there's a playground
out there.
394
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:30,471
Quick, time me on the slide.
- What? Time you on what, now?
395
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:31,805
I bet you I can go down it
396
00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:34,016
faster than
that stupid fucking baby!
397
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:35,851
Yeah, I bet you can?
398
00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:37,978
Sorry, are we still on a date?
399
00:15:37,978 --> 00:15:40,022
I just--I would really love it
if you could help me
400
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:42,066
make this even
a little more successful,
401
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:46,236
just 'cause my mom is on a full
private jet with Simu--
402
00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:49,365
Private jet?
[scoffs] I can top that.
403
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:52,618
What?
How can you top that?
404
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:57,247
Oh, my God, we're in space.
- I'm the highest man alive!
405
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:01,001
Curtis, hi.
406
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,503
Hey, it was so good
seeing you the other week,
407
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:04,338
even though you were
mostly on the news.
408
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:07,299
Yeah, sorry, this whole thing
has been so crazy.
409
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:08,509
I've barely been able to...
410
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,302
both:
Come up for air. Yeah.
411
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,012
Hey, listen, do you want
to get dinner
412
00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:13,722
with me
and my friends tonight?
413
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,516
You know, spend some actual
time together? I miss you.
414
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:17,017
Um, sure, yeah.
415
00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:19,228
Uh, and then my premiere
is actually tonight.
416
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:21,855
So, afterwards, you should
just all come to that.
417
00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:24,692
Oh, um, yeah.
Okay, sure, yeah.
418
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,235
Or wait, hold on.
419
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:28,987
Patty, how much longer
do you think this will take?
420
00:16:28,987 --> 00:16:30,531
Uh, a few hours.
421
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:33,534
I still have to add "Globby"
to the bottom.
422
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:35,202
Damn, okay.
423
00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:37,204
Uh, Curtis, I'm actually not
gonna be able to make dinner,
424
00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:39,123
so I'll just meet you guys
at the premiere.
425
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,416
- Wait, what?
- And heads up--
426
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,626
Westboro is now gonna be
protesting there
427
00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:44,670
because they saw me
on the news.
428
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:47,923
So stupid. Anyway, I will see
you guys there tonight.
429
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:50,092
Uh, yeah, okay.
Uh, bye.
430
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:51,885
Bye.
[line beeps]
431
00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:53,887
Sorry, I think we now have
432
00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:57,099
to go to the premiere
of "Haunted Buddies 4."
433
00:16:57,099 --> 00:17:00,310
[cell phone ringing]
434
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,814
- Hey, Mom!
- Oh, hi, honey.
435
00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:06,984
I was just calling you to see
how all the dating is going.
436
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:09,737
I mean,
absolutely not as good as you.
437
00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:11,071
Aw.
438
00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:12,906
But hopefully tonight's guy
is better.
439
00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:15,784
How's jetting around the world
with Simu?
440
00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:17,411
Oh, I don't know.
441
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:18,829
It was pretty fun at first,
442
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:20,664
but now I'm kind of having
a hard time.
443
00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:22,624
I just--I don't really
know where I am
444
00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:24,168
or when I am anymore?
445
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,754
The sun just keeps rising
and setting.
446
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:29,381
Like, I think it's tomorrow
and yesterday.
447
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:30,799
- Ma'am.
- And I told Simu
448
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:32,509
we could maybe eat a meal
together off the jet
449
00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:34,219
if we both wore
the prosthetics,
450
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:36,430
but Simu said he tried that
after "Shang-Chi" came out,
451
00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:37,598
but some Marvel fans
452
00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:39,099
still knew it was him.
- How?
453
00:17:39,099 --> 00:17:40,517
I guess one of them
had started living
454
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,311
in his walls,
so she heard the plan.
455
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:44,605
Marvel fans
are not well, Brookie.
456
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:46,315
Well, other than that,
it sounds great.
457
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:48,609
So just relax
and enjoy yourself.
458
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:51,570
You are insanely lucky.
459
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,781
No, you're right.
You're absolutely right.
460
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:57,034
I am lucky. I'm lucky.
Oh, I got to go, hon.
461
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:59,870
Simu's doing a panel in Tokyo,
and our security team
462
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:01,622
said I can go as long
as I'm completely hidden,
463
00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:04,124
so they're gonna zip me up
into a suitcase
464
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:06,585
so I can watch,
or at least listen.
465
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:10,130
- Okay, well, have fun. Bye.
- Bye!
466
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:13,842
And say hi to Streeter for me--
[line beeping]
467
00:18:13,842 --> 00:18:15,219
- [sighs]
- Ready?
468
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,221
[zipper opens]
[laughter]
469
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:19,681
[sighs]
470
00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:22,476
- Brooke?
- Okay, damn.
471
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,645
[chuckles]
I'm liking the look of this.
472
00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:26,230
[chuckles]
473
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,190
Although, um, I know that
you're an app developer
474
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:30,901
or whatever, but you're not
a billionaire, right?
475
00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:33,028
Just stay a humble millionaire?
476
00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:36,782
[chuckles]
Yes, I'm just a millionaire.
477
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:39,660
Okay. Whew!
[both laugh]
478
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:42,371
But not
just one million, right?
479
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:44,456
No, I have
more than one million.
480
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:46,416
Okay, cool.
[chuckles]
481
00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:47,835
Not to be rude, it's just...
482
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:49,211
both:
Having only a million dollars
483
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:51,547
is actually kind of poor.
484
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,841
- What?
- Okay, jinx.
485
00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:56,176
[both chuckle]
Now you have to buy me a Coke.
486
00:18:56,176 --> 00:18:57,845
[camera shutter clicks]
- Over here. Over here.
487
00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:00,639
You know, I have to say,
this is a historic night.
488
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,349
We at GLAAD are just so excited
489
00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:06,311
to see Disney's first-ever
unapologetically gay scene.
490
00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:09,356
And we are here
to demand that scene
491
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,525
be taken out of the movie!
- Yeah!
492
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:12,860
[together, chanting]
Take it out!
493
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:14,486
[together, chanting]
Leave it in!
494
00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:16,822
- Take it out!
- Leave it in!
495
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:19,533
Oh, God.
Where are they?
496
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,410
[exhales sharply]
- Hey.
497
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:22,703
Oh, great.
There you are!
498
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,204
- Yeah.
- You're late.
499
00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:25,706
Yeah, that's because
you just added this
500
00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:27,207
to our
already-scheduled dinner.
501
00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:30,210
Uh, sorry, we know,
but we're here now.
502
00:19:30,210 --> 00:19:31,837
Okay, are you guys ready
to step
503
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,881
into an absolute inferno?
Let's hold hands.
504
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:37,050
Wait, I'm--I'm sorry.
Are we walking the red carpet?
505
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:39,720
Yes! Hello, Globby Nation!
506
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,639
Uh, me and my friends
are here to say
507
00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:46,059
that we are not afraid
of today's protests
508
00:19:46,059 --> 00:19:49,605
because we are
all strong, gay men.
509
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:52,065
- I'm actually bi.
- Uh, I don't use gay.
510
00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:53,442
Shh, I got this.
511
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:55,611
Okay, let's all get in
for a pic and say,
512
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:59,239
"We're here, we're queer,
we're Globby!"
513
00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:01,241
[chuckles]
Great.
514
00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:02,784
Okay, please head inside.
515
00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:04,411
The premiere
will begin shortly.
516
00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:06,496
All right,
time to watch history be made.
517
00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:09,041
[chuckles]
- Jesus Christ.
518
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,834
- Take it out!
- Hi.
519
00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:12,586
And, yeah, I mean,
I did just get
520
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:15,672
out of a ten-year relationship
that ravaged me emotionally.
521
00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:16,882
But...
- Hmm.
522
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:19,509
Now I am single
and loving it.
523
00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:21,136
[chuckles]
And I got to say--
524
00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:23,305
I really love how both
your lips touch when you chew.
525
00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,807
It has been very clutch, visually.
526
00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:27,184
[chuckles]
Thank you?
527
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,936
I was actually
at this same restaurant
528
00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:30,812
a week ago
with a full billionaire,
529
00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:32,856
and his lips looked like
two fat slugs
530
00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:34,316
had fallen asleep on his face.
531
00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:38,528
And he took me to outer space?
It was not good.
532
00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:40,113
Uh, what's
with these billionaires?
533
00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:42,449
It's like the split second
they get all that money,
534
00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:43,909
their brain just seeps
out of their skull?
535
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:46,453
I think that's
literally what happens.
536
00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:47,829
[both laugh]
537
00:20:47,829 --> 00:20:50,457
So, yes,
I am glad you are not one.
538
00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:52,209
[cell phone ringing]
539
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:55,128
Oh, that's work calling,
which is weird.
540
00:20:55,128 --> 00:20:56,380
I don't need to take it.
541
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:57,756
No, go ahead.
It's fine.
542
00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:59,007
Yeah?
543
00:20:59,007 --> 00:21:00,384
And I will head
to the little girls' room
544
00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:02,469
to freshen up,
so we can move this back
545
00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:06,431
to your place?
[both chuckle]
546
00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:07,599
Hello?
547
00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:11,812
[Muzak playing]
- [humming along]
548
00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:14,606
Wait, what's that? What are
you--what are you saying, Ted?
549
00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:18,068
Ah. Ma, ma, ma.
[lips popping]
550
00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:20,862
Oh, my God.
Our app sold?
551
00:21:20,862 --> 00:21:23,991
Our app just fully sold?
Right this sec--
552
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:27,953
Okay,
back to my millionaire I go.
553
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:28,954
Hmm.
554
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,163
Hi.
555
00:21:30,163 --> 00:21:32,666
[chuckles]
Hmm.
556
00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:36,378
Wait, where did--
- Yes! Look how high I am!
557
00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:38,463
Wait.
What the fuck is going on?
558
00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:39,840
I'm a billionaire, baby.
559
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,216
- What?
- Fuck, yes!
560
00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:42,467
Since when?
561
00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:44,553
And how do you already
have lip filler?
562
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:47,389
I'm so confused.
- No, I'm confused.
563
00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:49,307
Oh, my God,
we're not going back
564
00:21:49,307 --> 00:21:50,809
to your place anymore now,
are we?
565
00:21:50,809 --> 00:21:52,853
No, we're going somewhere
even better.
566
00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:53,812
We're going to--
567
00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:56,023
I'm in space!
568
00:21:56,023 --> 00:21:58,567
[sighs]
My fucking God.
569
00:21:58,567 --> 00:22:00,444
It's worse
than we feared, Vampira!
570
00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:02,821
We must hurry. His weapon
will soon be fully powered.
571
00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:05,532
We are running out of time.
- I'll round up the others.
572
00:22:05,532 --> 00:22:07,868
Okay, here it comes.
It's right after this.
573
00:22:07,868 --> 00:22:11,288
- [howls]
- [snores]
574
00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:13,874
Globby, let's go.
We're late for the mission.
575
00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:15,709
Okay.
576
00:22:17,669 --> 00:22:20,047
Oh, wow.
[chuckles]
577
00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:22,174
That's Professor Sinister's
castle there!
578
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:24,301
Okay, tell me when.
So excited to see!
579
00:22:24,301 --> 00:22:26,011
Yeah, tell me when! Eeeeh!
580
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:29,056
What do you mean?
That--that was it.
581
00:22:29,056 --> 00:22:30,724
Were you not watching?
582
00:22:30,724 --> 00:22:32,059
Wait.
What did he say?
583
00:22:32,059 --> 00:22:34,728
- He said that was it.
- What was it?
584
00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:38,482
He said it already happened.
But when? And, also, where?
585
00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:39,900
I think he said
it was before this
586
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:41,401
Yeah, he said
it already happened.
587
00:22:41,401 --> 00:22:43,028
- Cary said it happened.
- He said it happened.
588
00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:45,947
Wait, uh, Cary,
I'm hearing the scene happened?
589
00:22:45,947 --> 00:22:47,574
What was it?
Sorry.
590
00:22:47,574 --> 00:22:49,409
We just want to tell people
we support it!
591
00:22:49,409 --> 00:22:51,536
Wait, shit,
we missed the scene?
592
00:22:51,536 --> 00:22:53,205
We all wanted
to throw eggs at it!
593
00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:55,290
Shh, the movie's
still happening.
594
00:22:55,290 --> 00:22:57,459
- Yeah, be quiet.
- Yeah.
595
00:22:57,459 --> 00:22:59,419
- No, wait, can we pause it?
- What?
596
00:22:59,419 --> 00:23:00,921
I want to get
to the bottom of this!
597
00:23:00,921 --> 00:23:02,589
Yeah, maybe let's bring up
the lights?
598
00:23:02,589 --> 00:23:05,008
I-I'm just so confused.
- Yeah, bring up the lights.
599
00:23:05,008 --> 00:23:07,886
[lights thud]
- Sorry, uh, help me out, Car!
600
00:23:07,886 --> 00:23:10,388
Where was
the unapologetically gay scene
601
00:23:10,388 --> 00:23:12,099
you've been telling
press about?
602
00:23:12,099 --> 00:23:13,266
- Yes, where is the scene?
- Uh...
603
00:23:13,266 --> 00:23:14,601
Yeah, where is the scene?
604
00:23:14,601 --> 00:23:16,728
I mean, I-I don't know
what else to say.
605
00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:18,688
[scoffs]
It was right there--
606
00:23:18,688 --> 00:23:21,608
the two gay globs
in bed together.
607
00:23:21,608 --> 00:23:23,235
That was it?
608
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:25,153
Uh, how are we supposed
to know they were gay?
609
00:23:25,153 --> 00:23:26,822
Nothing about the scene
was gay.
610
00:23:26,822 --> 00:23:27,906
Yeah-huh.
611
00:23:27,906 --> 00:23:29,407
I mean, if Globby was straight,
612
00:23:29,407 --> 00:23:31,201
he would have been in bed
with a human woman.
613
00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:34,371
What? That--that's,
like, glob logic
614
00:23:34,371 --> 00:23:36,248
that none of us
could possibly know.
615
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:39,167
Wait, so you're saying
in this universe,
616
00:23:39,167 --> 00:23:41,628
straight globs are attracted
to human women,
617
00:23:41,628 --> 00:23:45,632
and gay globs
are attracted to other globs?
618
00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:49,594
Yes?
[audience groans]
619
00:23:49,594 --> 00:23:51,054
So how are glob babies made?
620
00:23:51,054 --> 00:23:54,599
A straight glob has sex
with a human woman,
621
00:23:54,599 --> 00:23:56,476
and that makes a baby glob?
622
00:23:56,476 --> 00:23:59,187
But wouldn't that be
a half-human-half-glob?
623
00:23:59,187 --> 00:24:01,231
How are full globs made?
- Oh, yeah, good call.
624
00:24:01,231 --> 00:24:02,691
- Well...
- You know what?
625
00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:04,484
If you guys want to take
the scene out, it's fine.
626
00:24:04,484 --> 00:24:06,444
No, dude,
you can totally leave it in.
627
00:24:06,444 --> 00:24:09,156
Sorry we got so riled up.
- It's not your fault.
628
00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:11,825
Uh, there--uh, there was
actually more to the scene.
629
00:24:11,825 --> 00:24:13,201
- Oh.
- Shh, shh, shh.
630
00:24:13,201 --> 00:24:16,329
But Disney, um...
they cut it.
631
00:24:16,329 --> 00:24:18,165
- Oh.
- Oh. Oh, okay, then.
632
00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:19,457
- Oh, my God.
- That makes sense.
633
00:24:19,457 --> 00:24:21,543
Disney does suck.
What was cut?
634
00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:24,171
- Yeah, what, what was cut?
- Uh...
635
00:24:25,130 --> 00:24:30,635
My glob, um...
sucked the other glob's dick?
636
00:24:30,635 --> 00:24:31,928
- What?
- No.
637
00:24:31,928 --> 00:24:33,555
- What?
- In a kids' movie?
638
00:24:33,555 --> 00:24:35,473
No, I'm joking.
I'm joking.
639
00:24:35,473 --> 00:24:38,935
Uh, but, uh,
what was cut was, um...
640
00:24:38,935 --> 00:24:40,729
So...
- All right, you know what?
641
00:24:40,729 --> 00:24:43,857
Um, you guys must be famished
from all that protesting,
642
00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:47,110
so what do you say
you all go get dinner?
643
00:24:47,110 --> 00:24:48,945
I mean, I could eat.
644
00:24:48,945 --> 00:24:50,405
- You like pizza?
- Yeah.
645
00:24:50,405 --> 00:24:52,365
Hey, I'm--I'm Mark,
by the way.
646
00:24:52,365 --> 00:24:53,825
Hey, I'm Terry.
647
00:24:53,825 --> 00:24:55,619
Ladies and gentlemen,
please be patient.
648
00:24:55,619 --> 00:24:56,912
We will have the--
649
00:24:56,912 --> 00:24:58,872
Oh, my God.
This is so embarrassing.
650
00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:00,248
That was so funny.
651
00:25:00,248 --> 00:25:03,960
Okay, great.
That's 48 and 49--
652
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:08,215
Ooh, we're right above Ohio,
where I used to live.
653
00:25:08,215 --> 00:25:10,842
Yuck.
So lucky you got out of there.
654
00:25:10,842 --> 00:25:12,719
[intercom chimes]
- Okay, Simu.
655
00:25:12,719 --> 00:25:14,804
We'll be landing in Chicago
for your next panel soon.
656
00:25:14,804 --> 00:25:16,556
Pat, if you want to watch,
657
00:25:16,556 --> 00:25:18,808
you should zip into
your suitcase in the next ten.
658
00:25:18,808 --> 00:25:21,102
[intercom chimes]
- Oh, okay.
659
00:25:25,815 --> 00:25:28,610
Ooh, look,
a rocket heading back to Earth!
660
00:25:28,610 --> 00:25:30,570
I wonder who's on that.
661
00:25:30,570 --> 00:25:33,782
Yeah! I did it!
I was so high!
662
00:25:33,782 --> 00:25:38,078
I am better than all other men!
Me am the most man!
663
00:25:38,078 --> 00:25:40,705
Oh, my God, shut the fuck up!
664
00:25:40,705 --> 00:25:44,084
I cannot believe
I have been to full space
665
00:25:44,084 --> 00:25:46,086
twice in one week!
666
00:25:46,086 --> 00:25:50,507
Like,
what the actual fuck, dude?
667
00:25:50,507 --> 00:25:53,093
You stupid men
just get a shit ton of money
668
00:25:53,093 --> 00:25:54,844
and pop on a little cowboy hat
669
00:25:54,844 --> 00:25:57,055
and ride a dentist's chair
to space?
670
00:25:57,055 --> 00:25:59,266
Like, what is this for?
671
00:25:59,266 --> 00:26:01,351
Like, you don't have to do
as much good as a nurse
672
00:26:01,351 --> 00:26:05,772
or whatever, but, uh, my God,
y'all just do no good?
673
00:26:05,772 --> 00:26:07,399
I do good.
674
00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:09,651
I've already drawn up plans
to build dozens of schools.
675
00:26:09,651 --> 00:26:11,903
- Oh, you have?
- Yeah, in the metaverse.
676
00:26:11,903 --> 00:26:13,446
Jesus Christ!
677
00:26:13,446 --> 00:26:16,116
Ugh! You all just have
all the money and the power,
678
00:26:16,116 --> 00:26:18,368
and you do nothing.
679
00:26:18,368 --> 00:26:20,954
You do nothing.
680
00:26:20,954 --> 00:26:23,873
- And aren't you like me?
- God...
681
00:26:23,873 --> 00:26:26,793
I mean, I thought so,
but clearly not!
682
00:26:26,793 --> 00:26:28,211
No, I mean,
you're a manager.
683
00:26:28,211 --> 00:26:30,005
You represent Pat Dubek
and ChaseDreams.
684
00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:32,465
Don't they have, like,
a billion dollars together?
685
00:26:32,465 --> 00:26:35,302
Yeah, I mean,
they probably do, but--
686
00:26:35,302 --> 00:26:36,553
And you represent them,
687
00:26:36,553 --> 00:26:38,471
which means
that you have power,
688
00:26:38,471 --> 00:26:40,640
and you have access
to their money and power.
689
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,393
So what are you doing
with all of it?
690
00:26:45,103 --> 00:26:46,730
Oh, my God.
691
00:26:46,730 --> 00:26:49,524
I didn't need to leave
the industry to do good.
692
00:26:49,524 --> 00:26:54,029
I can do good
using the industry.
693
00:26:54,029 --> 00:26:55,613
[gasps]
694
00:26:55,613 --> 00:26:58,033
[ship rattling]
695
00:26:58,033 --> 00:26:59,784
[line beeping, trilling]
696
00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:01,911
- Hello?
- Shuli? It's Brooke.
697
00:27:01,911 --> 00:27:04,080
You are not gonna believe this,
but a straight man
698
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:05,707
actually just
taught me something,
699
00:27:05,707 --> 00:27:08,251
and I think I might be ready
to come back to work.
700
00:27:08,251 --> 00:27:09,794
- Oh, good.
- Yep.
701
00:27:09,794 --> 00:27:12,714
Starting tomorrow,
I am going to revolutionize
702
00:27:12,714 --> 00:27:14,674
the entire industry.
703
00:27:14,674 --> 00:27:18,845
I am going to use my power...
704
00:27:18,845 --> 00:27:20,180
for good.
705
00:27:20,180 --> 00:27:22,682
I mean,
if you need more time--
706
00:27:22,682 --> 00:27:25,685
[upbeat music]
707
00:27:25,685 --> 00:27:27,312
♪ ♪
708
00:27:29,606 --> 00:27:31,316
[indistinct chatter]
709
00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:33,276
Fuck.
710
00:27:33,276 --> 00:27:35,487
Cary, hold--hold up. Wait.
711
00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:37,030
[scoffs]
712
00:27:37,030 --> 00:27:39,574
Are--are you okay?
713
00:27:39,574 --> 00:27:41,993
What?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
714
00:27:41,993 --> 00:27:44,996
You know, they really did cut
more gay stuff from the movie.
715
00:27:44,996 --> 00:27:47,540
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no, I'm sure they did.
716
00:27:47,540 --> 00:27:50,627
Oh, my God, wait,
did Westboro still egg you?
717
00:27:50,627 --> 00:27:52,962
- Oh, no, GLAAD did.
- Oof.
718
00:27:52,962 --> 00:27:54,547
Yeah.
[chuckles]
719
00:27:54,547 --> 00:27:57,717
Um, hey, would you want
to get a drink?
720
00:27:57,717 --> 00:28:00,053
I feel like
it would be good to talk.
721
00:28:00,053 --> 00:28:01,930
Oh, thanks,
but I'm--I'm tired.
722
00:28:01,930 --> 00:28:04,849
I think I'm just gonna
head home, pass out.
723
00:28:04,849 --> 00:28:07,435
Yeah.
Uh, okay.
724
00:28:07,435 --> 00:28:09,854
Good night, Cary.
- Night.
725
00:28:12,774 --> 00:28:16,194
Oh, my God, my jacket.
726
00:28:16,194 --> 00:28:17,987
You know,
it's actually better
727
00:28:17,987 --> 00:28:20,115
that you can't tell
that Globby's gay
728
00:28:20,115 --> 00:28:23,243
because his sexuality
is beside the point on purpose.
729
00:28:23,243 --> 00:28:25,912
And, uh, if you just give me
one more press cycle,
730
00:28:25,912 --> 00:28:27,414
I can explain how.
731
00:28:27,414 --> 00:28:29,207
- Yeah.
- God.
732
00:28:29,207 --> 00:28:31,292
{\an8}[The MIDI Mafia's
"I Hope You Hear Me"]
733
00:28:31,292 --> 00:28:33,878
{\an8}- I hope they hear me.
734
00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:35,713
{\an8}I hope they hear me.
735
00:28:35,713 --> 00:28:40,760
{\an8}♪ ♪
736
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:43,596
{\an8}Ugh, it's too late.
- Too late.
737
00:28:43,596 --> 00:28:46,933
{\an8}- It's too late.
- Yeah, yeah.
738
00:28:46,933 --> 00:28:49,269
{\an8}- ♪ Whoo, keepin' my freak,
keep dreamin' ♪
739
00:28:49,269 --> 00:28:52,272
{\an8}♪ They gonna keep thievin',
they gonna keep schemin' ♪
740
00:28:52,272 --> 00:28:55,483
{\an8}♪ But this don't never stop,
it's a lifestyle, homey ♪
741
00:28:55,483 --> 00:28:58,445
{\an8}♪ Lifestyle, homey,
but for those who know me ♪
742
00:28:58,445 --> 00:29:00,113
{\an8}♪ This don't never stop ♪
743
00:29:00,113 --> 00:29:02,115
{\an8}♪ The time is now,
it's about to go down ♪
744
00:29:02,115 --> 00:29:03,950
{\an8}♪ You better duck
when you hear that sound ♪
745
00:29:03,950 --> 00:29:05,743
{\an8}♪ Boom, 'cause this
don't never stop ♪
746
00:29:05,743 --> 00:29:07,579
{\an8}♪ I hope you with me ♪
- ♪ Uh-huh ♪
747
00:29:07,579 --> 00:29:09,747
{\an8}- ♪ I hope you with me ♪
- ♪ Uh-huh ♪
748
00:29:09,747 --> 00:29:16,921
{\an8}♪ ♪
55903
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