All language subtitles for The Other Two S03E06 Brooke and We Are Not Joking Goes to Space 1080p HMAX WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-NTb_track4_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,754 --> 00:00:08,216 [grunts] Help! 2 00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:10,719 My nachos! [door opens] 3 00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:14,723 Hey, baby girl. How you feeling? 4 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,891 Maybe ready to go back to work? 5 00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:18,643 Not that I want you out of the house. 6 00:00:18,643 --> 00:00:20,061 I mean, at this point, 7 00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:21,730 I don't think I could fall asleep 8 00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:23,314 without the sound of you sobbing. 9 00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:25,358 [crying] He just broke my heart, 10 00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:28,903 and now I'm the most sad anyone's ever been. 11 00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:30,989 Well, maybe going back to work 12 00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,615 will take your mind off it... - [blows nose] 13 00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:34,284 Or even doing something simple, 14 00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:36,745 like changing your underwear. - [blows nose] 15 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:39,748 Hey, let's at least do the underwear one. 16 00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:42,250 I can't. I just want to watch TV. 17 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:43,918 You've watched everything on TV. 18 00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:47,297 HBO, Hulu, Apple-- it's all been watched. 19 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,632 Well, I was thinking about checking out Peacock. 20 00:00:49,632 --> 00:00:51,301 I like the font on their main page. 21 00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:52,761 Okay, no! 22 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:54,804 You need to get out of this house now. 23 00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:58,850 Maybe find Shuli. Go hang with Shuli. 24 00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,143 [muffled] It's just 25 00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:02,145 the things he said to me were not okay. 26 00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:03,938 He was like, "If you got a problem, 27 00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:06,024 you're supposed to sit down and talk to me." 28 00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:08,610 [scoffs] Can you believe that? He's a bad man. 29 00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:11,571 - So you're not here to work? - I'm not ready. 30 00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,239 Oh, and then he was like, 31 00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,200 "I want a partner who's honest." 32 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,743 [scoffs] Okay, Ted Bundy. 33 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,495 Listen, Brooke, I need you to leave, 34 00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:20,663 'cause I'm busy and you smell violent. 35 00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:22,457 - It's the nachos - It's not. 36 00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,459 Why don't you go see what Cary's up to? 37 00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:25,919 Go hang with Cary. 38 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,505 Like, seriously, the narrative is that Lance 39 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:31,800 is this lovable goofball, but behind closed doors, 40 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,385 he calls you the F word all the time. 41 00:01:34,385 --> 00:01:37,222 That does sound like him, but, uh, maybe you should, 42 00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:40,558 uh, go find Mom, 'cause I'm at Disney right now. 43 00:01:40,558 --> 00:01:42,393 Ah, Cary, we're ready for you. 44 00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:44,854 - Oh. - And sorry about that smell. 45 00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:47,065 {\an8}Jeez, I don't know what that is. 46 00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:49,734 {\an8}- It's the nachos. - No, it's not. 47 00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:51,736 {\an8}- ♪ I-I-I'm a winner ♪ 48 00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:54,239 {\an8}Cary, we are thrilled you came in, 49 00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:57,158 {\an8}because we want to talk to you about the offer of a lifetime-- 50 00:01:57,158 --> 00:02:01,579 {\an8}a powerful gay role in Disney's next film. 51 00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:04,165 - Whoa. Really? - Yeah. 52 00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:06,125 'Cause my boyfriend just got nominated for a Tony 53 00:02:06,125 --> 00:02:08,002 for an important gay role he's doing, 54 00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:10,171 so it would be nice to also tackle 55 00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:12,090 something meaningful for the community. 56 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:14,843 My last few roles have been whatever. 57 00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:18,137 Um, so I'd love to not just act but make a difference. 58 00:02:18,137 --> 00:02:19,889 I-I think that's been the problem. 59 00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:21,683 Well, then this should be perfect for everyone involved. 60 00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:23,852 - Yeah. - So, as you're probably aware, 61 00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:26,771 our wildly successful "Haunted Buddies" franchise 62 00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:29,524 has gotten some flak for not having any queer characters. 63 00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:31,192 - [exhales sharply] - But we at Disney 64 00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:34,571 are committed to fixing that grave mistake... now. 65 00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:37,907 Yes, so, in addition to our beloved core characters 66 00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:40,368 of Wolfy, Vampira, and Dr. Baggo Bones... 67 00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:42,495 - [chuckles] Yeah. - For "Haunted Buddies 4," 68 00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:46,207 we are adding... 69 00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:48,001 Globby. - That's right. 70 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,377 Globby will be the "Haunted Buddies" 71 00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:52,881 first-ever openly queer character. 72 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:57,010 Sorry, so this-- this goo i-is homosexual? 73 00:02:57,010 --> 00:03:00,054 - The goo is homosexual. - Isn't that incredible? 74 00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:02,307 Yes. No, very cool. 75 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:06,686 Um, and how exactly is he gay? 76 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:09,898 Because he--he sort of just looks like, uh... 77 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,691 sexless green snot. 78 00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,818 Great question-- because we've also gotten 79 00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:16,195 some flak for saying a character is gay 80 00:03:16,195 --> 00:03:17,614 and then not really showing it, 81 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,741 which is why in "Haunted Buddies 4," 82 00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:22,076 we're including a groundbreaking scene 83 00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:25,163 where Vampira opens the door to Globby's bedroom, 84 00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:29,626 and we see Globby in bed with another glob. 85 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:32,086 Which is huge--I mean, for Disney to include a scene 86 00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:33,922 as unapologetically gay as this? 87 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,965 Right? I mean, two globs in bed-- 88 00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:38,301 it doesn't get more gayer than that. 89 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,887 [laughter] - No. Yes, uh... 90 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:44,098 it's just, how is that visual gay-- 91 00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:45,850 the two globs in bed? 92 00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:47,894 Like, does the other glob talk 93 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:50,355 and have, like, a male voice or-- 94 00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:53,107 No, but if Globby was straight, 95 00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:54,943 when Vampira opened the door, 96 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,569 then he'd be in bed with a human woman, 97 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:59,238 But he's not. He's in bed with another glob. 98 00:03:59,238 --> 00:04:00,657 Yeah. 99 00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:03,284 So he's gay. 100 00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:06,287 No, right, right. 101 00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:08,456 And, like, he's not even a doctor, Mom. 102 00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:10,792 He's a nurse, which, not to be whatever, 103 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,335 but gay much? 104 00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:14,504 Which has to be the root of this. 105 00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,923 It's not that I'm wrong. It's he's gay. 106 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,133 Yes, Brooke, but I can't talk right now 107 00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:22,053 because I'm taping an interview for "CBS Saturday Morning." 108 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,514 Sorry, yeah, I-I'm gonna need you to get up. 109 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,766 You are very much in the shot. - Oh, don't be sorry. 110 00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:29,310 [grunts] It's Lance who should be sorry. 111 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,312 It's just... 112 00:04:31,312 --> 00:04:33,314 he really hurt me, you know? 113 00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:34,691 Push in. - What? 114 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:38,069 But I am finally ready to break my silence-- 115 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:39,779 and the music would be in here-- 116 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:42,532 because if I can help even one woman-- 117 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:44,033 now pan down to my hands. - No. 118 00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:46,995 Do not pan down to her hands. Steven, can you-- 119 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,663 both: Okay. - Oh, God, you stink. 120 00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:49,914 I'm so sorry. 121 00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:51,541 She's just having a really hard time. 122 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:54,210 But I promise, if you'd met her 30, 31 years ago, 123 00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:55,586 you'd have really loved her. 124 00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:57,296 All right, let's just pick it up 125 00:04:57,296 --> 00:04:58,506 from the next question. 126 00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:01,801 - Yeah. - Okay, so tell me, Pat-- 127 00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:04,387 what is it like being a single woman again? 128 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,180 Oh... [both chuckle] 129 00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:08,057 Well, I-I am trying to get back out there, 130 00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:10,435 but I have to say, it's been a little hard for me. 131 00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:12,395 I mean, I have a security detail 132 00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:13,813 that follows me everywhere. 133 00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,440 I can't eat in restaurants like normal, 134 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,276 so it just makes dating a regular person tough. 135 00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:21,696 They don't all like that. - Mm. 136 00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:23,531 So I just need to find a person 137 00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:26,242 who isn't bothered by fame, someone more like me. 138 00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:30,913 Wait, someone more like me-- 139 00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:33,291 this is what I've been saying. 140 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:35,376 Lance was the problem. 141 00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:37,253 A strong, powerful businesswoman 142 00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:38,796 can't be with a simple nurse 143 00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:39,714 [scoffs] 144 00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:42,008 [indistinct chatter] 145 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,843 [line trilling] 146 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,720 - Hello. - Shuli, I'm ready. 147 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,764 - To come back to work? - No, to date. 148 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:51,142 Who is the most powerful businessman you know? 149 00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:52,894 Set me up... 150 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:55,688 [sighs] With his boss. 151 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:58,983 So gay globs are attracted to other globs, 152 00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:02,570 and straight globs are attracted to human women? 153 00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:05,114 So Globby just being in bed 154 00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:06,991 with another glob is inherently gay? 155 00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:08,618 - Now you get it. - That's exactly right. 156 00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:10,203 But, l-look, I-I think we're getting a little 157 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,662 in the weeds here. 158 00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:14,916 Globby the Glob is a proud queer sack of mucus, 159 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,918 and in this movie, we see him in bed 160 00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:19,295 with another proud queer sack of mucus. 161 00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:21,089 And since this is our first film 162 00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:23,424 with such an unapologetically gay scene, 163 00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:25,551 we're doing a massive press push 164 00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:27,762 to let the whole world know. 165 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:30,264 - Oh, you are? - Yes. 166 00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:32,767 So, if you're in, it will be a bit of a whirlwind. 167 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:35,353 I-I mean, the media is gonna have a field day with this. 168 00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:36,854 And you and Globby 169 00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:38,981 will basically be the face of the whole movie. 170 00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:41,776 So the question is, do you want to be the face 171 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,611 of a whole Disney movie? 172 00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:49,534 The face? Whoa. 173 00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:51,911 For all of the press? - Mm-hmm. 174 00:06:53,871 --> 00:06:57,834 You know, I can sort of see how that logic makes sense. 175 00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,377 Yeah, yeah. 176 00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:03,089 Like, Globby's gay 'cause he's in bed with another glob. 177 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,632 If he was straight, he'd be in bed 178 00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:06,843 with a human woman and-- 179 00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,553 Sorry, yeah, I'm just remembering 180 00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,930 the human woman of it all, and--and it does make sense. 181 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:14,725 Okay, wow, this is actually beautiful. 182 00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:17,854 Vampira opens the door, and-- and they're in bed together. 183 00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:21,482 That--that is important and--and unapologetically gay. 184 00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:24,610 And I'd be the voice of it? Oh, my God. 185 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,195 I'm the voice of Disney's 186 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:30,616 first-ever unapologetically gay character? 187 00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:33,995 Okay. Yes, I am in. 188 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,455 Thank you so much. Thank you so much. 189 00:07:36,455 --> 00:07:37,999 And I am actually free, 190 00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:41,419 if we wanted to start press now? 191 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:43,963 I mean, sure, Globby haunts with the rest of the Buddies, 192 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:45,673 but then there is this scene that-- 193 00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:47,675 and I was actually skeptical of it at first, 194 00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:51,012 but it's just unapologetically gay, 195 00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:54,182 and it is an honor to be the face of it. 196 00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,850 [cell phone chiming] 197 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:59,812 ♪ Some folks are born made to wave the flag ♪ 198 00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,272 ♪ Ooh, they're red, white and blue ♪ 199 00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:02,857 And I think once the movie comes out, 200 00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:05,985 audiences are gonna see this incredibly relatable 201 00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:07,403 queer character in Globby. 202 00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:09,030 You know, he's out, he's proud, 203 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,324 he's a collection of dust particles and snot and-- 204 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:14,035 - Oh, Cary Dubek. - Cary Dubek? 205 00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,494 [cell phone chiming] 206 00:08:15,494 --> 00:08:17,455 ♪ I ain't no senator's son, son ♪ 207 00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:20,750 I basically demanded Disney give me this role. 208 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:24,712 I mean, I really do think that Globby could do for movies 209 00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:27,048 what "Pose" did for TV, hopefully. 210 00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,967 [voice shakes] Sorry, it makes me emotional talking about it. 211 00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:33,721 ♪ But when the taxman come to the door ♪ 212 00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:37,808 ♪ Lord, the house lookin' like a rummage sale, yeah ♪ 213 00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:39,352 ♪ It ain't me ♪ 214 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:43,022 {\an8}♪ I ain't no fortunate one, no ♪ 215 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:48,486 ♪ ♪ 216 00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:50,571 [crying] I just-- if I could have seen 217 00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:52,907 a character like Globby when I was younger, 218 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:55,785 it--it really could have changed my life. 219 00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,370 [elevator bell dinging] 220 00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,623 I wish my dad were alive to see Globby. 221 00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:03,417 - Jesus. - Penthouse floor. 222 00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:04,543 [exhales sharply] 223 00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:07,088 Brooke. Hey, come on in. 224 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:09,757 Wow. Don't mind if I do. 225 00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:12,176 - [chuckles] - I'm a genius. 226 00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:14,095 - So... - [scoffs] 227 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,430 - This is the place. - I see. 228 00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:19,600 [chuckles] God, it is so nice 229 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,979 to be dating a powerful businessperson like me. 230 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:25,106 Oh, thank you. - Thank you. 231 00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:27,316 My ex is a nurse, so I think that just led 232 00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:29,151 to this huge disconnect. 233 00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:32,780 Anyway, what's it like being a tech billionaire? 234 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:35,449 Oh, he'll tell you all about it. 235 00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:38,869 Uh, uh, sorry. You're not my date? 236 00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:41,289 Oh, no. He's your date. 237 00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:44,500 [grunting] Look how high I am! 238 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,460 - Uh... - Oh, yeah. 239 00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:48,629 - Oh, um... - So fucking high. 240 00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:51,048 - Hello up there! - Oh, shit. 241 00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:53,175 Uh, I'm Brooke. 242 00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:54,969 Aren't I so, so high? 243 00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,763 No, yes, you are very high. 244 00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:58,973 Fuck, yes, I am. 245 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,642 Sorry, the date's us rock climbing? 246 00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:03,519 Just him. You're here to watch. 247 00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:05,229 Don't let her come up! Stop her! 248 00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:07,440 It--it's okay. It's okay. I'm not coming up. 249 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,900 I am not coming up. [chuckles] 250 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,193 Jesus. 251 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:14,488 Yes! [alarm rings] 252 00:10:14,488 --> 00:10:15,948 - Time! - Time! 253 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,575 And that's how you play Celebrity, bitch. 254 00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,702 Oh, my God, okay. All right, sit down. 255 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,620 Sit down. [indistinct chatter] 256 00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:23,205 I'm so glad you could come tonight. 257 00:10:23,205 --> 00:10:25,166 I haven't seen you in forever. How are things? 258 00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,417 Oh, so crazy. 259 00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:28,878 All this Globby press has been insane. 260 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,463 I haven't had a chance to come up for air, 261 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:33,549 like, all week. - Oh--oh, wow. 262 00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:36,177 And then today Ted Cruz tweeted about Globby 263 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,304 and said "Haunted Buddies" was disgusting, 264 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:41,515 so now I'm in the center of this Twitter firestorm, 265 00:10:41,515 --> 00:10:43,976 which is so stupid. [chuckles] 266 00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:45,561 Oh, I hadn't seen that. 267 00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:47,021 Yeah, I guess it's what comes 268 00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:48,731 with being a leader in the community now. 269 00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:50,775 [chuckles] - Okay, Cary's turn. 270 00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:53,069 Ooh! - All right, let's go, Cary. 271 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,195 60 seconds. 272 00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:55,863 - Okay. - Okay. Ready? 273 00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:57,239 And... go. 274 00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:58,949 - All right, come on, Cary. - Come on, Cary. 275 00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:01,744 Um, pass. 276 00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:03,996 Okay, all right. 277 00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:06,665 Um, pass. 278 00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:10,711 Oh, oh, um... - Oh, okay. 279 00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:12,254 Uh, James Franco, uh, was in a movie about him. 280 00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:14,048 Uh, I don't know. Give me more. 281 00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:15,716 Uh... 282 00:11:15,716 --> 00:11:16,884 pass. 283 00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:18,719 [alarm rings] Phew. Okay. 284 00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:19,720 How many did we get? 285 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,305 Well, out of 30 names, 286 00:11:21,305 --> 00:11:25,184 you could only describe Sandra Bullock, so one. 287 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:27,728 Oh, sorry. I'm a--I'm a better guesser. 288 00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:29,772 [sparse laughter] 289 00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:32,066 [grunting] 290 00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:34,276 So... 291 00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:35,820 where are you from? 292 00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,738 Stop talking! I need to focus! 293 00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:40,908 [phone vibrating] 294 00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:44,412 Oh. 295 00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:45,996 Hey, Mom. What's up? 296 00:11:45,996 --> 00:11:48,457 I know we were both trying to date people more like us, 297 00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:50,167 so what hell are you in? 298 00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:54,130 No, I'm on a private plane with Simu Liu. 299 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:58,008 Sorry, like, Simu Liu from the full Marvel Universe? 300 00:11:58,008 --> 00:12:00,428 Yep, he reached out after my big interview. 301 00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:01,762 We actually have a lot in common. 302 00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,139 [clatter] - Ah, oh! 303 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,932 I mean, he has even more security than me, 304 00:12:04,932 --> 00:12:07,351 so he just really gets what it's like to be famous, 305 00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:09,854 which is what I need in a man. 306 00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:12,314 Anyway, I'm on the Marvel plane right now, 307 00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:14,859 headed to a huge fan convention in Malaysia, 308 00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:17,653 and then we go to Japan and then I think Stockholm? 309 00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,572 - [scoffs] - I don't know. I'm not sure. 310 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,366 I'm basically just traveling the world with Simu Liu. 311 00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:26,245 Wait, have you two... had sex? 312 00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:28,747 Yes, we have. He's an excellent lover. 313 00:12:28,747 --> 00:12:30,458 Plus, he's in really good shape, 314 00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,460 I think because he has to work out every 45 minutes, 315 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:35,421 or Marvel is legally allowed to put him down and recast him. 316 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,298 I can't believe this. 317 00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:40,342 But he does spend a lot of time on the jet for his safety. 318 00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:42,845 We haven't really been outside in days. 319 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:44,638 Cool. Anyway, yeah. 320 00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:46,390 My date's really great, too. 321 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:49,643 Yeah, he's a really sweet, salt-of-the-earth kind of dude. 322 00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:53,022 I should actually get back to him, so, um, bye-bye now. 323 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,024 - Bye. - Who was that? 324 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:58,152 Did you tell 'em how high I am? - Yeah, sorry. 325 00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:00,321 I really need this to work. 326 00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:03,741 So do you think that we could maybe do something together? 327 00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:07,077 Like, maybe where I can actually see your face? 328 00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:08,913 - Is this better? - Fuck. 329 00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:11,040 I mean, yes. 330 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,833 I told my doctor to give me the biggest lips 331 00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:15,878 of any man and the highest eyebrows. 332 00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:18,172 And he sure did. 333 00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:20,257 Okay, okay. Uh, this person is gay. 334 00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:21,675 Ellen! Uh, NPH! 335 00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:23,344 Uh, Ben Platt! - No. 336 00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:24,929 He's a writer. He's an activist. 337 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,222 He wrote--he wrote "Go Tell It on the Mountain." 338 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,389 - Oh, James Baldwin. - Yes. 339 00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:28,849 Oh, yes, that's right. 340 00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:30,267 Oh, my God. Okay. 341 00:13:30,267 --> 00:13:32,311 Uh, this queen is a full star-- 342 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,939 - Ben Platt! NPH! Uh, Ellen! - No. 343 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:37,191 And for the last time, not one of us put 344 00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,610 Ben Platt, Ellen, or NPH in the bowl. 345 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:41,987 Okay, okay, um, she's got great skin, 346 00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:44,949 and she's on a bomb new Paramount+ show. 347 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,992 all: Oh, Curtis Paltrow! 348 00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:49,828 Oh, my God. Who put me in? 349 00:13:49,828 --> 00:13:51,539 I'm blushing. 350 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,082 [alarm rings] - Time. 351 00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:55,084 Oh, yeah, how is your show going? 352 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:58,420 Well, um, we're shooting episode five right now, 353 00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:00,130 and it's good, it's good. 354 00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:02,091 Working with Ashley Tisdale is a little tough, though, 355 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,676 'cause she's not so much a scene partner 356 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,178 as she is as a scene adversary. - Oh, my God. 357 00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:08,514 They want me on the news right now. 358 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,140 - What? - What? 359 00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:11,976 Yeah, yeah, to talk about 360 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:15,604 all this anti-gay Globby backlash. 361 00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:17,106 So dumb. 362 00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,691 Anyway, I should do it, 363 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,859 just 'cause I don't want to let the community down, 364 00:14:20,859 --> 00:14:24,405 since Globby has weirdly become this queer icon or whatever. 365 00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:27,741 Yeah, I'm surprised Globby wasn't in the bowl. 366 00:14:27,741 --> 00:14:29,368 [laughs] - Oh, no. God, no. 367 00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:31,161 That would have been embarrassing. 368 00:14:31,161 --> 00:14:32,371 Yeah, no. 369 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:33,872 All right, well, you guys keep playing. 370 00:14:33,872 --> 00:14:35,791 Um, I'm just gonna go Zoom into the news 371 00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:37,543 in the other room. [chuckles] 372 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:40,212 Oh, and if you guys could keep it down 373 00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:42,089 to a whisper, that'd be great. 374 00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:43,841 - Okay. - Thanks. 375 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,093 [door opens, closes] 376 00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:48,637 He's--he's really a sweet guy. 377 00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:50,556 Anderson. Hello. 378 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:53,601 [chewing loudly] 379 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,227 So you like the restaurant? 380 00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:58,981 I rented out the entire place just for the two of us. 381 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,274 Done. Ha, I beat you. 382 00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,567 [scoffs loudly] 383 00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:03,777 Uh, yeah. Very cool. 384 00:15:03,777 --> 00:15:06,947 A true perk of dating a successful businessperson 385 00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:08,449 like me. 386 00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:11,493 Um, actually, my ex was a nurse, so he-- 387 00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:14,079 [blows raspberry] A nurse is nothing. 388 00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:15,956 How much good can one stinking nurse do? 389 00:15:15,956 --> 00:15:18,459 I'm building hundreds of hospitals. 390 00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:21,962 Oh, you are? That's impressive. 391 00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:24,048 Good for you. - Yeah, in the metaverse. 392 00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:25,633 So you're not building hospitals? 393 00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:27,468 Ooh, there's a playground out there. 394 00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:30,471 Quick, time me on the slide. - What? Time you on what, now? 395 00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:31,805 I bet you I can go down it 396 00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:34,016 faster than that stupid fucking baby! 397 00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:35,851 Yeah, I bet you can? 398 00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:37,978 Sorry, are we still on a date? 399 00:15:37,978 --> 00:15:40,022 I just--I would really love it if you could help me 400 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:42,066 make this even a little more successful, 401 00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:46,236 just 'cause my mom is on a full private jet with Simu-- 402 00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:49,365 Private jet? [scoffs] I can top that. 403 00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:52,618 What? How can you top that? 404 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:57,247 Oh, my God, we're in space. - I'm the highest man alive! 405 00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:01,001 Curtis, hi. 406 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,503 Hey, it was so good seeing you the other week, 407 00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:04,338 even though you were mostly on the news. 408 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:07,299 Yeah, sorry, this whole thing has been so crazy. 409 00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:08,509 I've barely been able to... 410 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,302 both: Come up for air. Yeah. 411 00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,012 Hey, listen, do you want to get dinner 412 00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:13,722 with me and my friends tonight? 413 00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,516 You know, spend some actual time together? I miss you. 414 00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:17,017 Um, sure, yeah. 415 00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:19,228 Uh, and then my premiere is actually tonight. 416 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:21,855 So, afterwards, you should just all come to that. 417 00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:24,692 Oh, um, yeah. Okay, sure, yeah. 418 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,235 Or wait, hold on. 419 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:28,987 Patty, how much longer do you think this will take? 420 00:16:28,987 --> 00:16:30,531 Uh, a few hours. 421 00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:33,534 I still have to add "Globby" to the bottom. 422 00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:35,202 Damn, okay. 423 00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:37,204 Uh, Curtis, I'm actually not gonna be able to make dinner, 424 00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:39,123 so I'll just meet you guys at the premiere. 425 00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,416 - Wait, what? - And heads up-- 426 00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,626 Westboro is now gonna be protesting there 427 00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:44,670 because they saw me on the news. 428 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:47,923 So stupid. Anyway, I will see you guys there tonight. 429 00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:50,092 Uh, yeah, okay. Uh, bye. 430 00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:51,885 Bye. [line beeps] 431 00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:53,887 Sorry, I think we now have 432 00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:57,099 to go to the premiere of "Haunted Buddies 4." 433 00:16:57,099 --> 00:17:00,310 [cell phone ringing] 434 00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,814 - Hey, Mom! - Oh, hi, honey. 435 00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:06,984 I was just calling you to see how all the dating is going. 436 00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:09,737 I mean, absolutely not as good as you. 437 00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:11,071 Aw. 438 00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:12,906 But hopefully tonight's guy is better. 439 00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:15,784 How's jetting around the world with Simu? 440 00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:17,411 Oh, I don't know. 441 00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:18,829 It was pretty fun at first, 442 00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:20,664 but now I'm kind of having a hard time. 443 00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:22,624 I just--I don't really know where I am 444 00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:24,168 or when I am anymore? 445 00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,754 The sun just keeps rising and setting. 446 00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:29,381 Like, I think it's tomorrow and yesterday. 447 00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:30,799 - Ma'am. - And I told Simu 448 00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:32,509 we could maybe eat a meal together off the jet 449 00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:34,219 if we both wore the prosthetics, 450 00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:36,430 but Simu said he tried that after "Shang-Chi" came out, 451 00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:37,598 but some Marvel fans 452 00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:39,099 still knew it was him. - How? 453 00:17:39,099 --> 00:17:40,517 I guess one of them had started living 454 00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,311 in his walls, so she heard the plan. 455 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:44,605 Marvel fans are not well, Brookie. 456 00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:46,315 Well, other than that, it sounds great. 457 00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:48,609 So just relax and enjoy yourself. 458 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:51,570 You are insanely lucky. 459 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,781 No, you're right. You're absolutely right. 460 00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:57,034 I am lucky. I'm lucky. Oh, I got to go, hon. 461 00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:59,870 Simu's doing a panel in Tokyo, and our security team 462 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:01,622 said I can go as long as I'm completely hidden, 463 00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:04,124 so they're gonna zip me up into a suitcase 464 00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:06,585 so I can watch, or at least listen. 465 00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:10,130 - Okay, well, have fun. Bye. - Bye! 466 00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:13,842 And say hi to Streeter for me-- [line beeping] 467 00:18:13,842 --> 00:18:15,219 - [sighs] - Ready? 468 00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,221 [zipper opens] [laughter] 469 00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:19,681 [sighs] 470 00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:22,476 - Brooke? - Okay, damn. 471 00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,645 [chuckles] I'm liking the look of this. 472 00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:26,230 [chuckles] 473 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,190 Although, um, I know that you're an app developer 474 00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:30,901 or whatever, but you're not a billionaire, right? 475 00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:33,028 Just stay a humble millionaire? 476 00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:36,782 [chuckles] Yes, I'm just a millionaire. 477 00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:39,660 Okay. Whew! [both laugh] 478 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:42,371 But not just one million, right? 479 00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:44,456 No, I have more than one million. 480 00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:46,416 Okay, cool. [chuckles] 481 00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:47,835 Not to be rude, it's just... 482 00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:49,211 both: Having only a million dollars 483 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:51,547 is actually kind of poor. 484 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,841 - What? - Okay, jinx. 485 00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:56,176 [both chuckle] Now you have to buy me a Coke. 486 00:18:56,176 --> 00:18:57,845 [camera shutter clicks] - Over here. Over here. 487 00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:00,639 You know, I have to say, this is a historic night. 488 00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,349 We at GLAAD are just so excited 489 00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:06,311 to see Disney's first-ever unapologetically gay scene. 490 00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:09,356 And we are here to demand that scene 491 00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,525 be taken out of the movie! - Yeah! 492 00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:12,860 [together, chanting] Take it out! 493 00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:14,486 [together, chanting] Leave it in! 494 00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:16,822 - Take it out! - Leave it in! 495 00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:19,533 Oh, God. Where are they? 496 00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,410 [exhales sharply] - Hey. 497 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:22,703 Oh, great. There you are! 498 00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,204 - Yeah. - You're late. 499 00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:25,706 Yeah, that's because you just added this 500 00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:27,207 to our already-scheduled dinner. 501 00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:30,210 Uh, sorry, we know, but we're here now. 502 00:19:30,210 --> 00:19:31,837 Okay, are you guys ready to step 503 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,881 into an absolute inferno? Let's hold hands. 504 00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:37,050 Wait, I'm--I'm sorry. Are we walking the red carpet? 505 00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:39,720 Yes! Hello, Globby Nation! 506 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,639 Uh, me and my friends are here to say 507 00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:46,059 that we are not afraid of today's protests 508 00:19:46,059 --> 00:19:49,605 because we are all strong, gay men. 509 00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:52,065 - I'm actually bi. - Uh, I don't use gay. 510 00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:53,442 Shh, I got this. 511 00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:55,611 Okay, let's all get in for a pic and say, 512 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:59,239 "We're here, we're queer, we're Globby!" 513 00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:01,241 [chuckles] Great. 514 00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:02,784 Okay, please head inside. 515 00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:04,411 The premiere will begin shortly. 516 00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:06,496 All right, time to watch history be made. 517 00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:09,041 [chuckles] - Jesus Christ. 518 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,834 - Take it out! - Hi. 519 00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:12,586 And, yeah, I mean, I did just get 520 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:15,672 out of a ten-year relationship that ravaged me emotionally. 521 00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:16,882 But... - Hmm. 522 00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:19,509 Now I am single and loving it. 523 00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:21,136 [chuckles] And I got to say-- 524 00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:23,305 I really love how both your lips touch when you chew. 525 00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,807 It has been very clutch, visually. 526 00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:27,184 [chuckles] Thank you? 527 00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,936 I was actually at this same restaurant 528 00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:30,812 a week ago with a full billionaire, 529 00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:32,856 and his lips looked like two fat slugs 530 00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:34,316 had fallen asleep on his face. 531 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:38,528 And he took me to outer space? It was not good. 532 00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:40,113 Uh, what's with these billionaires? 533 00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:42,449 It's like the split second they get all that money, 534 00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:43,909 their brain just seeps out of their skull? 535 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:46,453 I think that's literally what happens. 536 00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:47,829 [both laugh] 537 00:20:47,829 --> 00:20:50,457 So, yes, I am glad you are not one. 538 00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:52,209 [cell phone ringing] 539 00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:55,128 Oh, that's work calling, which is weird. 540 00:20:55,128 --> 00:20:56,380 I don't need to take it. 541 00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:57,756 No, go ahead. It's fine. 542 00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:59,007 Yeah? 543 00:20:59,007 --> 00:21:00,384 And I will head to the little girls' room 544 00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:02,469 to freshen up, so we can move this back 545 00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:06,431 to your place? [both chuckle] 546 00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:07,599 Hello? 547 00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:11,812 [Muzak playing] - [humming along] 548 00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:14,606 Wait, what's that? What are you--what are you saying, Ted? 549 00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:18,068 Ah. Ma, ma, ma. [lips popping] 550 00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:20,862 Oh, my God. Our app sold? 551 00:21:20,862 --> 00:21:23,991 Our app just fully sold? Right this sec-- 552 00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:27,953 Okay, back to my millionaire I go. 553 00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:28,954 Hmm. 554 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,163 Hi. 555 00:21:30,163 --> 00:21:32,666 [chuckles] Hmm. 556 00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:36,378 Wait, where did-- - Yes! Look how high I am! 557 00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:38,463 Wait. What the fuck is going on? 558 00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:39,840 I'm a billionaire, baby. 559 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,216 - What? - Fuck, yes! 560 00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:42,467 Since when? 561 00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:44,553 And how do you already have lip filler? 562 00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:47,389 I'm so confused. - No, I'm confused. 563 00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:49,307 Oh, my God, we're not going back 564 00:21:49,307 --> 00:21:50,809 to your place anymore now, are we? 565 00:21:50,809 --> 00:21:52,853 No, we're going somewhere even better. 566 00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:53,812 We're going to-- 567 00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:56,023 I'm in space! 568 00:21:56,023 --> 00:21:58,567 [sighs] My fucking God. 569 00:21:58,567 --> 00:22:00,444 It's worse than we feared, Vampira! 570 00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:02,821 We must hurry. His weapon will soon be fully powered. 571 00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:05,532 We are running out of time. - I'll round up the others. 572 00:22:05,532 --> 00:22:07,868 Okay, here it comes. It's right after this. 573 00:22:07,868 --> 00:22:11,288 - [howls] - [snores] 574 00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:13,874 Globby, let's go. We're late for the mission. 575 00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:15,709 Okay. 576 00:22:17,669 --> 00:22:20,047 Oh, wow. [chuckles] 577 00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:22,174 That's Professor Sinister's castle there! 578 00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:24,301 Okay, tell me when. So excited to see! 579 00:22:24,301 --> 00:22:26,011 Yeah, tell me when! Eeeeh! 580 00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:29,056 What do you mean? That--that was it. 581 00:22:29,056 --> 00:22:30,724 Were you not watching? 582 00:22:30,724 --> 00:22:32,059 Wait. What did he say? 583 00:22:32,059 --> 00:22:34,728 - He said that was it. - What was it? 584 00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:38,482 He said it already happened. But when? And, also, where? 585 00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:39,900 I think he said it was before this 586 00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:41,401 Yeah, he said it already happened. 587 00:22:41,401 --> 00:22:43,028 - Cary said it happened. - He said it happened. 588 00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:45,947 Wait, uh, Cary, I'm hearing the scene happened? 589 00:22:45,947 --> 00:22:47,574 What was it? Sorry. 590 00:22:47,574 --> 00:22:49,409 We just want to tell people we support it! 591 00:22:49,409 --> 00:22:51,536 Wait, shit, we missed the scene? 592 00:22:51,536 --> 00:22:53,205 We all wanted to throw eggs at it! 593 00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:55,290 Shh, the movie's still happening. 594 00:22:55,290 --> 00:22:57,459 - Yeah, be quiet. - Yeah. 595 00:22:57,459 --> 00:22:59,419 - No, wait, can we pause it? - What? 596 00:22:59,419 --> 00:23:00,921 I want to get to the bottom of this! 597 00:23:00,921 --> 00:23:02,589 Yeah, maybe let's bring up the lights? 598 00:23:02,589 --> 00:23:05,008 I-I'm just so confused. - Yeah, bring up the lights. 599 00:23:05,008 --> 00:23:07,886 [lights thud] - Sorry, uh, help me out, Car! 600 00:23:07,886 --> 00:23:10,388 Where was the unapologetically gay scene 601 00:23:10,388 --> 00:23:12,099 you've been telling press about? 602 00:23:12,099 --> 00:23:13,266 - Yes, where is the scene? - Uh... 603 00:23:13,266 --> 00:23:14,601 Yeah, where is the scene? 604 00:23:14,601 --> 00:23:16,728 I mean, I-I don't know what else to say. 605 00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:18,688 [scoffs] It was right there-- 606 00:23:18,688 --> 00:23:21,608 the two gay globs in bed together. 607 00:23:21,608 --> 00:23:23,235 That was it? 608 00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:25,153 Uh, how are we supposed to know they were gay? 609 00:23:25,153 --> 00:23:26,822 Nothing about the scene was gay. 610 00:23:26,822 --> 00:23:27,906 Yeah-huh. 611 00:23:27,906 --> 00:23:29,407 I mean, if Globby was straight, 612 00:23:29,407 --> 00:23:31,201 he would have been in bed with a human woman. 613 00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:34,371 What? That--that's, like, glob logic 614 00:23:34,371 --> 00:23:36,248 that none of us could possibly know. 615 00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:39,167 Wait, so you're saying in this universe, 616 00:23:39,167 --> 00:23:41,628 straight globs are attracted to human women, 617 00:23:41,628 --> 00:23:45,632 and gay globs are attracted to other globs? 618 00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:49,594 Yes? [audience groans] 619 00:23:49,594 --> 00:23:51,054 So how are glob babies made? 620 00:23:51,054 --> 00:23:54,599 A straight glob has sex with a human woman, 621 00:23:54,599 --> 00:23:56,476 and that makes a baby glob? 622 00:23:56,476 --> 00:23:59,187 But wouldn't that be a half-human-half-glob? 623 00:23:59,187 --> 00:24:01,231 How are full globs made? - Oh, yeah, good call. 624 00:24:01,231 --> 00:24:02,691 - Well... - You know what? 625 00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:04,484 If you guys want to take the scene out, it's fine. 626 00:24:04,484 --> 00:24:06,444 No, dude, you can totally leave it in. 627 00:24:06,444 --> 00:24:09,156 Sorry we got so riled up. - It's not your fault. 628 00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:11,825 Uh, there--uh, there was actually more to the scene. 629 00:24:11,825 --> 00:24:13,201 - Oh. - Shh, shh, shh. 630 00:24:13,201 --> 00:24:16,329 But Disney, um... they cut it. 631 00:24:16,329 --> 00:24:18,165 - Oh. - Oh. Oh, okay, then. 632 00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:19,457 - Oh, my God. - That makes sense. 633 00:24:19,457 --> 00:24:21,543 Disney does suck. What was cut? 634 00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:24,171 - Yeah, what, what was cut? - Uh... 635 00:24:25,130 --> 00:24:30,635 My glob, um... sucked the other glob's dick? 636 00:24:30,635 --> 00:24:31,928 - What? - No. 637 00:24:31,928 --> 00:24:33,555 - What? - In a kids' movie? 638 00:24:33,555 --> 00:24:35,473 No, I'm joking. I'm joking. 639 00:24:35,473 --> 00:24:38,935 Uh, but, uh, what was cut was, um... 640 00:24:38,935 --> 00:24:40,729 So... - All right, you know what? 641 00:24:40,729 --> 00:24:43,857 Um, you guys must be famished from all that protesting, 642 00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:47,110 so what do you say you all go get dinner? 643 00:24:47,110 --> 00:24:48,945 I mean, I could eat. 644 00:24:48,945 --> 00:24:50,405 - You like pizza? - Yeah. 645 00:24:50,405 --> 00:24:52,365 Hey, I'm--I'm Mark, by the way. 646 00:24:52,365 --> 00:24:53,825 Hey, I'm Terry. 647 00:24:53,825 --> 00:24:55,619 Ladies and gentlemen, please be patient. 648 00:24:55,619 --> 00:24:56,912 We will have the-- 649 00:24:56,912 --> 00:24:58,872 Oh, my God. This is so embarrassing. 650 00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:00,248 That was so funny. 651 00:25:00,248 --> 00:25:03,960 Okay, great. That's 48 and 49-- 652 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:08,215 Ooh, we're right above Ohio, where I used to live. 653 00:25:08,215 --> 00:25:10,842 Yuck. So lucky you got out of there. 654 00:25:10,842 --> 00:25:12,719 [intercom chimes] - Okay, Simu. 655 00:25:12,719 --> 00:25:14,804 We'll be landing in Chicago for your next panel soon. 656 00:25:14,804 --> 00:25:16,556 Pat, if you want to watch, 657 00:25:16,556 --> 00:25:18,808 you should zip into your suitcase in the next ten. 658 00:25:18,808 --> 00:25:21,102 [intercom chimes] - Oh, okay. 659 00:25:25,815 --> 00:25:28,610 Ooh, look, a rocket heading back to Earth! 660 00:25:28,610 --> 00:25:30,570 I wonder who's on that. 661 00:25:30,570 --> 00:25:33,782 Yeah! I did it! I was so high! 662 00:25:33,782 --> 00:25:38,078 I am better than all other men! Me am the most man! 663 00:25:38,078 --> 00:25:40,705 Oh, my God, shut the fuck up! 664 00:25:40,705 --> 00:25:44,084 I cannot believe I have been to full space 665 00:25:44,084 --> 00:25:46,086 twice in one week! 666 00:25:46,086 --> 00:25:50,507 Like, what the actual fuck, dude? 667 00:25:50,507 --> 00:25:53,093 You stupid men just get a shit ton of money 668 00:25:53,093 --> 00:25:54,844 and pop on a little cowboy hat 669 00:25:54,844 --> 00:25:57,055 and ride a dentist's chair to space? 670 00:25:57,055 --> 00:25:59,266 Like, what is this for? 671 00:25:59,266 --> 00:26:01,351 Like, you don't have to do as much good as a nurse 672 00:26:01,351 --> 00:26:05,772 or whatever, but, uh, my God, y'all just do no good? 673 00:26:05,772 --> 00:26:07,399 I do good. 674 00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:09,651 I've already drawn up plans to build dozens of schools. 675 00:26:09,651 --> 00:26:11,903 - Oh, you have? - Yeah, in the metaverse. 676 00:26:11,903 --> 00:26:13,446 Jesus Christ! 677 00:26:13,446 --> 00:26:16,116 Ugh! You all just have all the money and the power, 678 00:26:16,116 --> 00:26:18,368 and you do nothing. 679 00:26:18,368 --> 00:26:20,954 You do nothing. 680 00:26:20,954 --> 00:26:23,873 - And aren't you like me? - God... 681 00:26:23,873 --> 00:26:26,793 I mean, I thought so, but clearly not! 682 00:26:26,793 --> 00:26:28,211 No, I mean, you're a manager. 683 00:26:28,211 --> 00:26:30,005 You represent Pat Dubek and ChaseDreams. 684 00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:32,465 Don't they have, like, a billion dollars together? 685 00:26:32,465 --> 00:26:35,302 Yeah, I mean, they probably do, but-- 686 00:26:35,302 --> 00:26:36,553 And you represent them, 687 00:26:36,553 --> 00:26:38,471 which means that you have power, 688 00:26:38,471 --> 00:26:40,640 and you have access to their money and power. 689 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,393 So what are you doing with all of it? 690 00:26:45,103 --> 00:26:46,730 Oh, my God. 691 00:26:46,730 --> 00:26:49,524 I didn't need to leave the industry to do good. 692 00:26:49,524 --> 00:26:54,029 I can do good using the industry. 693 00:26:54,029 --> 00:26:55,613 [gasps] 694 00:26:55,613 --> 00:26:58,033 [ship rattling] 695 00:26:58,033 --> 00:26:59,784 [line beeping, trilling] 696 00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:01,911 - Hello? - Shuli? It's Brooke. 697 00:27:01,911 --> 00:27:04,080 You are not gonna believe this, but a straight man 698 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:05,707 actually just taught me something, 699 00:27:05,707 --> 00:27:08,251 and I think I might be ready to come back to work. 700 00:27:08,251 --> 00:27:09,794 - Oh, good. - Yep. 701 00:27:09,794 --> 00:27:12,714 Starting tomorrow, I am going to revolutionize 702 00:27:12,714 --> 00:27:14,674 the entire industry. 703 00:27:14,674 --> 00:27:18,845 I am going to use my power... 704 00:27:18,845 --> 00:27:20,180 for good. 705 00:27:20,180 --> 00:27:22,682 I mean, if you need more time-- 706 00:27:22,682 --> 00:27:25,685 [upbeat music] 707 00:27:25,685 --> 00:27:27,312 ♪ ♪ 708 00:27:29,606 --> 00:27:31,316 [indistinct chatter] 709 00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:33,276 Fuck. 710 00:27:33,276 --> 00:27:35,487 Cary, hold--hold up. Wait. 711 00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:37,030 [scoffs] 712 00:27:37,030 --> 00:27:39,574 Are--are you okay? 713 00:27:39,574 --> 00:27:41,993 What? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 714 00:27:41,993 --> 00:27:44,996 You know, they really did cut more gay stuff from the movie. 715 00:27:44,996 --> 00:27:47,540 Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, I'm sure they did. 716 00:27:47,540 --> 00:27:50,627 Oh, my God, wait, did Westboro still egg you? 717 00:27:50,627 --> 00:27:52,962 - Oh, no, GLAAD did. - Oof. 718 00:27:52,962 --> 00:27:54,547 Yeah. [chuckles] 719 00:27:54,547 --> 00:27:57,717 Um, hey, would you want to get a drink? 720 00:27:57,717 --> 00:28:00,053 I feel like it would be good to talk. 721 00:28:00,053 --> 00:28:01,930 Oh, thanks, but I'm--I'm tired. 722 00:28:01,930 --> 00:28:04,849 I think I'm just gonna head home, pass out. 723 00:28:04,849 --> 00:28:07,435 Yeah. Uh, okay. 724 00:28:07,435 --> 00:28:09,854 Good night, Cary. - Night. 725 00:28:12,774 --> 00:28:16,194 Oh, my God, my jacket. 726 00:28:16,194 --> 00:28:17,987 You know, it's actually better 727 00:28:17,987 --> 00:28:20,115 that you can't tell that Globby's gay 728 00:28:20,115 --> 00:28:23,243 because his sexuality is beside the point on purpose. 729 00:28:23,243 --> 00:28:25,912 And, uh, if you just give me one more press cycle, 730 00:28:25,912 --> 00:28:27,414 I can explain how. 731 00:28:27,414 --> 00:28:29,207 - Yeah. - God. 732 00:28:29,207 --> 00:28:31,292 {\an8}[The MIDI Mafia's "I Hope You Hear Me"] 733 00:28:31,292 --> 00:28:33,878 {\an8}- I hope they hear me. 734 00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:35,713 {\an8}I hope they hear me. 735 00:28:35,713 --> 00:28:40,760 {\an8}♪ ♪ 736 00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:43,596 {\an8}Ugh, it's too late. - Too late. 737 00:28:43,596 --> 00:28:46,933 {\an8}- It's too late. - Yeah, yeah. 738 00:28:46,933 --> 00:28:49,269 {\an8}- ♪ Whoo, keepin' my freak, keep dreamin' ♪ 739 00:28:49,269 --> 00:28:52,272 {\an8}♪ They gonna keep thievin', they gonna keep schemin' ♪ 740 00:28:52,272 --> 00:28:55,483 {\an8}♪ But this don't never stop, it's a lifestyle, homey ♪ 741 00:28:55,483 --> 00:28:58,445 {\an8}♪ Lifestyle, homey, but for those who know me ♪ 742 00:28:58,445 --> 00:29:00,113 {\an8}♪ This don't never stop ♪ 743 00:29:00,113 --> 00:29:02,115 {\an8}♪ The time is now, it's about to go down ♪ 744 00:29:02,115 --> 00:29:03,950 {\an8}♪ You better duck when you hear that sound ♪ 745 00:29:03,950 --> 00:29:05,743 {\an8}♪ Boom, 'cause this don't never stop ♪ 746 00:29:05,743 --> 00:29:07,579 {\an8}♪ I hope you with me ♪ - ♪ Uh-huh ♪ 747 00:29:07,579 --> 00:29:09,747 {\an8}- ♪ I hope you with me ♪ - ♪ Uh-huh ♪ 748 00:29:09,747 --> 00:29:16,921 {\an8}♪ ♪ 55903

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