Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,003 --> 00:00:04,903
♪ It seems today
that all you see
2
00:00:04,972 --> 00:00:08,273
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV
3
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:11,877
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:14,880
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:18,250
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:21,503
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
7
00:00:21,571 --> 00:00:23,154
♪ All the things that make us
8
00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:24,923
♪ Laugh and cry
9
00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:29,928
♪ He's a family guy ♪
10
00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:38,047
Well, Chris, looks
like another day
11
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:40,105
of nobody joining us for lunch.
12
00:00:40,173 --> 00:00:43,875
Yeah, we never should
have let that blind girl
touch our faces.
13
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,812
Attention, students
this is Principal Shepherd
14
00:00:47,882 --> 00:00:49,592
with the lunchtime
announcements.
15
00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:51,862
And, as a special treat,
I thought I'd deliver them
16
00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:55,220
in the rapping styleyou kids are soenthused about.
17
00:00:55,288 --> 00:00:57,723
♪ Later today, you're
gonna have a big thrill
18
00:00:57,791 --> 00:01:00,458
♪ 'Cause shortly after lunch
there'll be a fire drill
19
00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:03,028
♪ And when you go out
to wait for the bus, mmm
20
00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:05,463
♪ Go in orderly fashion
or your hair will get mussed ♪
21
00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:06,631
You suck!
22
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,433
No, you suck.
23
00:01:08,501 --> 00:01:10,213
I can't hear you.
I just presumed
24
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:11,915
somebody must have yelled,
"You suck!"
25
00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:13,504
Anyway, last announcement.
26
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:16,608
Don't forget, it's timeto vote for HomecomingKing and Queen.
27
00:01:16,676 --> 00:01:18,844
Nominations are due
by 3:00 p.m. today.
28
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:19,912
Peace out.
29
00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:23,164
No, you're a douchebag!
30
00:01:23,233 --> 00:01:26,768
Wow. Can you imagine
if one of us was
Homecoming King?
31
00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,917
Then people would wanna
sit with us at lunch.
32
00:01:28,973 --> 00:01:31,940
Yeah, you should run.
I'll nominate you.
33
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,109
You know what?
I'll do it.
34
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:36,011
Maybe I'll surprise everyone.
35
00:01:36,079 --> 00:01:38,113
Like when you find out
a buttoned-up librarian
36
00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:40,449
is actually super-sexy.
37
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:41,717
Excuse me, ma'am?
38
00:01:46,724 --> 00:01:48,122
♪ Hot blooded ♪
39
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:49,791
Yes?
40
00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:52,811
There's a dead
homeless man blocking
the card catalog.
41
00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:59,713
Well, last night's
episode of Suits
was bonkers, right?
42
00:01:59,737 --> 00:02:01,503
Joe, none of us
know what that show is.
43
00:02:01,572 --> 00:02:03,115
It was pretty crazy.
44
00:02:03,139 --> 00:02:04,617
There was this
one part where Suits
45
00:02:04,641 --> 00:02:06,720
was getting yelled
at by his lady boss.
46
00:02:06,744 --> 00:02:08,221
And then, she kissed him.
47
00:02:08,245 --> 00:02:11,346
Well, there goes
Jerome loading
the urinal up with ice.
48
00:02:11,415 --> 00:02:14,315
Gonna go play me
my melting game.
49
00:02:14,385 --> 00:02:15,995
Man, I'm starting to get drunk.
50
00:02:16,019 --> 00:02:17,019
Is it even noon yet?
51
00:02:17,087 --> 00:02:18,231
No, it's only 10:40.
52
00:02:18,255 --> 00:02:20,555
10:40? Oh, crap,
we gotta get out of here.
53
00:02:20,624 --> 00:02:21,890
That's when Taco Bell
54
00:02:21,959 --> 00:02:23,703
throws all
the breakfast food
in the dumpster.
55
00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:25,438
Can't let that
raccoon get all of it.
56
00:02:25,462 --> 00:02:26,673
Ooh, man, you're right.
57
00:02:26,697 --> 00:02:27,807
You know, this is great, guys.
58
00:02:27,831 --> 00:02:29,531
Drinking and eating garbage.
59
00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:31,700
I'm glad we all took
a mental health day.
60
00:02:32,936 --> 00:02:34,653
Hey, where'd everybody go?
61
00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:38,001
I don't know where they
went but someone's
gotta pay this check.
62
00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:40,992
Damn it. They left without
me and now I'm
stuck with the bill?
63
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:43,962
Man, who do those
guys think I am?
Mark Zuckerbrothers?
64
00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:45,875
Seems like they do that a lot.
65
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:48,044
Tell you what, this one's on me.
66
00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:49,535
Thanks, Jerome.
67
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,848
Since there's no one here,
do you mind turning
the TV up?
68
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:54,640
That little Lamisil guy
always makes me laugh.
69
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,142
Yeah.
70
00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:02,581
What do you think he is,
like, a Martian?
71
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:04,149
Like, a little shoe-Martian?
72
00:03:04,217 --> 00:03:07,318
I don't know.
I just hope he ain't
down there in my shoes.
73
00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:10,923
No, he's loud.
If he were down there,
we'd know it.
74
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:13,158
I ain't got no toenails nohow.
75
00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:20,065
Hey, everybody, guess what?
76
00:03:20,134 --> 00:03:22,534
I'm running for Homecoming King.
77
00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:23,946
You're what?
Yeah.
78
00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:25,270
Neil nominated me.
79
00:03:25,322 --> 00:03:27,389
Why are you home
from school
and Meg's not?
80
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,241
Has she taken a lover?
81
00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:32,344
Well, the voting is tomorrow.
So I've gotta write my speech.
82
00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:35,280
Luckily, Chris Griffin
rhymes with Homecoming King.
83
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:37,332
So, I've got my opening line.
84
00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:41,598
Oh, my God.
Did you see
how excited he is?
85
00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:42,732
Yeah, isn't that great?
86
00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,389
No, it's not great.
87
00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:46,769
Chris is not
Homecoming King
material.
88
00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:48,705
He doesn't have
a chance of winning.
89
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,139
We gotta be at
that school tomorrow
90
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:52,242
to help pick up
the pieces
when he loses.
91
00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:54,066
Oh! My Hot Pocket!
92
00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:56,335
Ow! It's hot!
93
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:03,825
Oh, that must be Jerome.
94
00:04:03,894 --> 00:04:05,205
What the hell is
Jerome doing here?
95
00:04:05,229 --> 00:04:06,605
We didn't order any drinks.
96
00:04:06,629 --> 00:04:08,296
No, he and I got plans.
97
00:04:08,365 --> 00:04:10,282
We're gonna go down
to Carver High School
98
00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:13,318
and look at that mural
of black achievement.
99
00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:16,988
They got a manila
folder taped over
Dr. Cosby's face.
100
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,667
What? Cleveland,
you didn't tell us
101
00:04:18,691 --> 00:04:19,936
you had plans with Jerome.
102
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,726
Some things are my business.
103
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:24,195
You don't tell me
when you play
with yourself.
104
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:27,184
Well, if you
checked my Twitter feed,
I wouldn't have to.
105
00:04:36,660 --> 00:04:38,260
And if you elect me,
106
00:04:38,328 --> 00:04:40,907
I will be as gooda Homecoming Kingas a touchdown.
107
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:45,317
And our final nominee
for Homecoming King
108
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:46,685
is Chris Griffin.
109
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:52,457
Thank you.
I'm Chris Griffin.
110
00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:54,926
Webster's Dictionary
defines smegma
111
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:59,364
as a sebaceous,cheese-like substancearound the head of the penis.
112
00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:02,017
But what is a king?
113
00:05:02,086 --> 00:05:04,386
Oh, God, this is
already hard to watch.
114
00:05:04,455 --> 00:05:07,266
Like that Bourne movie
where they couldn't
get Matt Damon.
115
00:05:07,290 --> 00:05:10,186
We're facing
a bio-chemical attack
of untold proportions.
116
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:12,154
Unfortunately,
Jason Bourne is
not available.
117
00:05:12,178 --> 00:05:13,445
Who have we got?
118
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:16,047
We have the sixth-billed
guy from The Avengers.
119
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,594
The arrow guy who frowns a lot.
120
00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:19,017
Uh, okay.
121
00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:20,196
Does he look like Bourne?
122
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,298
Yeah, yeah.
123
00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:23,366
He sort of looks
like a young Popeye.
124
00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:25,424
Well, sounds like he's
the right guy for this.
125
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,193
Yeah. Yeah.
126
00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:30,473
All right, students,the voteshave been tabulated,
127
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:33,710
so, if you could alllook up from yourphones for a minute,
128
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:34,861
I'll tell you who won.
129
00:05:36,486 --> 00:05:39,287
Children, a man is talking.
130
00:05:39,356 --> 00:05:40,866
All right,
I better head
down there.
131
00:05:40,890 --> 00:05:42,302
I brought a bag of marshmallows
132
00:05:42,326 --> 00:05:45,154
and a belt for
Chris to bite on
during his meltdown.
133
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:49,113
And this year'sJames Woods HighHomecoming King is
134
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,314
Chris Griffin.
135
00:05:50,383 --> 00:05:51,983
Yay!
136
00:05:55,138 --> 00:05:56,304
Holy crap!
137
00:05:56,373 --> 00:05:58,623
I don't believe it.
Chris won.
138
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:01,192
All right, now it's time
for these four poor kids
139
00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:03,606
to thank youfor subsidizingtheir lunches.
140
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:05,229
Thank you.
141
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:06,765
Mean it.
142
00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:08,399
Thank you.
143
00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:12,028
All right.Time formy car nap.
144
00:06:19,529 --> 00:06:22,030
Hey, there he is, the new king.
145
00:06:22,099 --> 00:06:23,765
I already called
and quit my job.
146
00:06:23,834 --> 00:06:26,579
Peter, he doesn't
get money for being
Homecoming King.
147
00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:28,804
Does he get land?
No, of course not.
148
00:06:28,872 --> 00:06:30,005
Does he get this joke?
149
00:06:30,073 --> 00:06:31,973
Shagadelic, baby!
150
00:06:32,042 --> 00:06:33,608
Ah, Austin Powers.
151
00:06:33,677 --> 00:06:36,344
Oh, very good.
Very good, my liege.
152
00:06:36,413 --> 00:06:38,458
Well, Chris,
since you're
royalty now,
153
00:06:38,482 --> 00:06:39,714
I made your favorites.
154
00:06:39,783 --> 00:06:41,049
Dinner for breakfast?
155
00:06:41,117 --> 00:06:43,929
That's right.
Pork chops and
French onion soup.
156
00:06:43,953 --> 00:06:45,153
Oh, boy!
157
00:06:45,222 --> 00:06:47,922
Well, as King,
I shall eat this
breakfast
158
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,692
on a tray in front
of Wheel of Fortune.
159
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,744
I'll get the TV tray,
Your Majesty.
160
00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:56,459
How does nobody see
what's going on
with this Chris thing?
161
00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:57,626
What are you talking about?
162
00:06:57,650 --> 00:06:58,883
Well, it's obvious.
163
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,796
The only reason
they elected him King
164
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:03,215
is because
they're gonna prank
him at Homecoming.
165
00:07:03,239 --> 00:07:04,651
Shut up, Hat.
That's my brother.
166
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:06,052
They're not gonna mess with him.
167
00:07:06,076 --> 00:07:09,144
He's the man.
He's got real Griffin
beef in those trousers.
168
00:07:09,212 --> 00:07:10,778
Meg, how can you be so sure?
169
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,458
Because this kind
of stuff happens
170
00:07:12,482 --> 00:07:14,093
all the time to unpopular kids.
171
00:07:14,117 --> 00:07:16,996
They're just
trying to embarrass him
and make him look stupid.
172
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:19,754
You don't really
think they're going to
pull a prank on Chris, do you?
173
00:07:19,822 --> 00:07:20,900
I don't know.
174
00:07:20,924 --> 00:07:22,235
But if they are,
we gotta get down
175
00:07:22,259 --> 00:07:23,602
to that school and
talk them out of it.
176
00:07:23,626 --> 00:07:25,326
Good idea.
And luckily, I'm great
177
00:07:25,395 --> 00:07:27,028
at connecting
with that generation.
178
00:07:27,097 --> 00:07:29,914
Like when I went on
that campout
with One Direction.
179
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:32,484
So they checked
into their hotel suite,
180
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:35,119
but the mini-bar
had no sparkling water,
181
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:36,298
only still!
182
00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:37,522
Ah, stop.
183
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:38,723
It's too scary.
184
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:39,824
Oh, but that's not all.
185
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:41,559
They looked in the wardrobe
186
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,260
and discovered that the stylist
187
00:07:43,329 --> 00:07:45,262
had only brought
non-skinny jeans!
188
00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:46,843
Do you mean, like,
189
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,811
a Levi's 513 skinny-straight?
190
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:51,903
No. Just regular
pants that fit normal!
191
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,172
That's not real, right?
Those aren't real.
192
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,285
Of course not,
Louis,
it's just a story.
193
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,442
Well, I guess that
means these aren't real!
194
00:07:58,512 --> 00:07:59,622
Ah!
195
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,023
Yeah, they're
gonna die in the woods.
196
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:03,681
Simon, are they tagged?
They're tagged, right?
197
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:05,461
Oh, they're tagged.
Good.
198
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,062
Simon, did I ever
tell you the one
199
00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:08,920
about the loose-fitting T-shirt?
200
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,139
No, no, no, no, no!
201
00:08:15,479 --> 00:08:16,623
All right, if we want Cleveland
202
00:08:16,647 --> 00:08:18,190
to stop spending all
his time with Jerome,
203
00:08:18,214 --> 00:08:20,114
we gotta remind him
how much fun we are.
204
00:08:20,183 --> 00:08:21,449
So, let's just have fun.
205
00:08:21,518 --> 00:08:23,285
How do we do that?
I don't know.
206
00:08:23,353 --> 00:08:25,320
Little bit of this?
207
00:08:25,389 --> 00:08:28,490
Okay, that seems like fun.
What about one of these?
208
00:08:28,558 --> 00:08:30,158
Yeah, sure,
there's no wrong moves.
209
00:08:30,226 --> 00:08:32,472
What if I brush
my shoulders off?
210
00:08:32,496 --> 00:08:34,896
Original ideas are
preferred, but sure.
211
00:08:34,964 --> 00:08:37,649
Three fun guys, room for four!
212
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:38,761
I don't know if
it's working, Peter.
213
00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:39,896
I don't know if it's fun.
214
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,886
It's more than fun, it's foon.
215
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:43,688
That's a fun way
to say "fun."
216
00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:46,524
Hey, how foon would it be
if we waved sticks around?
217
00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:48,137
I really don't know
what we're doing.
218
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,979
It's foon, from
the word before.
I don't see what's... Ah!
219
00:08:52,915 --> 00:08:54,660
All right, first,
let's take your
blood pressure.
220
00:08:54,684 --> 00:08:57,185
'Cause that's,
like, our favorite thing
to do around here.
221
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,886
Okay, we all know
how much Cleveland
loves Tecmo Bowl,
222
00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:04,954
so let's start playing.
223
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,355
I'm the Raiders.
I'm Bo Jackson.
224
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:07,623
And, hopefully, he'll show up.
225
00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:09,659
That's no fair.
Bo Jackson's too fast.
226
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:12,767
Guys, do we want
Cleveland back
or don't... Here we go.
227
00:09:14,371 --> 00:09:15,371
Bye-bye.
228
00:09:15,438 --> 00:09:16,882
See, Peter? He's too fast.
229
00:09:16,906 --> 00:09:18,984
You gotta tackle me.
It's "B." You gotta press "B."
230
00:09:19,008 --> 00:09:20,941
I'm pressing "B," he's too fast.
231
00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:25,946
Going over here.
Going over here now.
Never get tired.
232
00:09:26,015 --> 00:09:28,683
Change your guy,
Quagmire, change your guy.
233
00:09:28,751 --> 00:09:30,963
I'm trying.
Peter's cheating.
You're cheating, Peter.
234
00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,565
I'm not cheating.
I'm following the rules.
235
00:09:32,589 --> 00:09:33,688
I'm just really good.
236
00:09:33,756 --> 00:09:34,800
You're not really good,
237
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,591
you just got Bo Jackson.
238
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:39,180
Bo Jackson
also played
professional baseball.
239
00:09:39,229 --> 00:09:41,262
Shut up,
Joe, everybody knows that.
240
00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:43,331
Kansas City. Royals.
241
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,433
Can't stop. Won't stop.
242
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:48,403
Bo... Might... Go...
243
00:09:48,471 --> 00:09:50,505
All... The...
244
00:09:50,574 --> 00:09:52,014
Nope, going back the other way.
245
00:09:52,075 --> 00:09:54,119
What?
Are you going backwards?
Just score!
246
00:09:54,143 --> 00:09:55,555
Nah, I'm gonna
run out the quarter.
247
00:09:55,579 --> 00:09:57,456
I'm not playing now.
My controller's down.
248
00:09:57,480 --> 00:10:00,281
Seems like your
controller's been down
the whole time.
249
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:04,652
Who's Veris?
You gotta switch out Veris.
Get it to Ronnie Lott.
250
00:10:04,721 --> 00:10:07,822
Pretty much anyone but Veris.
251
00:10:07,890 --> 00:10:10,258
Oh, no, I'm all
the way back here now.
252
00:10:10,327 --> 00:10:12,660
I'm in my own end zone.
What am I doing?
253
00:10:12,729 --> 00:10:15,463
Too bad I'm not Bo Jackson.
Wait, I am!
254
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:16,732
Ridiculous.
255
00:10:17,166 --> 00:10:18,833
Oh, yeah.
256
00:10:18,901 --> 00:10:21,336
There you go, Quagmire.
You're about to tackle me.
257
00:10:21,404 --> 00:10:23,444
- But then...
- Damn it!
258
00:10:24,407 --> 00:10:25,607
Less than a minute.
259
00:10:25,642 --> 00:10:27,642
Shut up, Joe!
260
00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:29,831
He's gonna do it.
He might do this.
261
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:32,057
I don't know.
Lot of football
still to be played here.
262
00:10:32,081 --> 00:10:34,059
I'm hitting reset.
Don't you
dare hit reset.
263
00:10:34,083 --> 00:10:36,016
You hit reset,
you're banned for life.
264
00:10:36,085 --> 00:10:37,485
I hate this.
265
00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:39,432
Joe, do you wanna play?
Nah,
I like being this guy.
266
00:10:39,456 --> 00:10:43,891
A zig, a zag...
A touchdown! Yeah!
267
00:10:45,262 --> 00:10:48,029
I won the game.
And now I'm gonna jump.
268
00:10:48,097 --> 00:10:49,097
Bo Jackson!
269
00:10:51,334 --> 00:10:53,145
All right, if we want
to get Cleveland back,
270
00:10:53,169 --> 00:10:54,913
we should just put
out his favorite snack.
271
00:10:54,937 --> 00:10:56,404
An open can of tuna.
272
00:10:56,473 --> 00:10:59,633
Often, he'll come
running when he hears
a can opening.
273
00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:01,309
Peter, stop.
274
00:11:01,378 --> 00:11:04,145
Yeah, I think it's
time we addressed
the elephant in the room.
275
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,830
There's a simple
reason Cleveland
276
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:08,066
is hanging out with
Jerome and not us.
277
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:10,434
Jerome is black.
And we're not.
278
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:11,580
Yeah, I mean,
you can't blame him.
279
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:13,315
It's just a thing
they have in common.
280
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,650
Something they can bond over.
281
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,318
Well, I guess that makes sense.
282
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,754
I suppose people do
wanna be with their
own kind.
283
00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:21,273
Like the audience
at a Decemberists
concert.
284
00:11:21,297 --> 00:11:24,632
Good evening, white guyswho weigh less thantheir girlfriends!
285
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:36,311
God, lot of gym
teacher suicide memorials
in this place.
286
00:11:36,379 --> 00:11:37,823
All right, let's find
the coolest kids here
287
00:11:37,847 --> 00:11:40,093
and see if they know
anything about
a prank on Chris.
288
00:11:40,117 --> 00:11:43,067
Those chicks in
the skirts
look pretty cool.
289
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:46,570
Hey, there. Brian Rockwell.
This is my friend,
Stewie Goldberg.
290
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:47,839
What?
291
00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:49,384
I don't know my
way around the school
292
00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:51,687
so I figured I'd get
the deets from
a couple of seniors.
293
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:52,844
Download me.
294
00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:54,256
Brian... It's not Goldberg,
by the way.
295
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,646
We should ask about the prank.
296
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,059
I'm earning their trust.
297
00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:59,784
Hey, I'm new here,
but you know
what'd be crazy?
298
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:02,954
If me, a guy,
went in the girls'
room with you two.
299
00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:05,823
I mean, that would be...
That'd be so wild.
300
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,502
We should...
We should totally
just go in there.
301
00:12:07,526 --> 00:12:08,592
Brian, stop.
302
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,845
That'd be hilarious.
I'm in.
303
00:12:10,914 --> 00:12:12,124
Stewie, go wait in the car.
304
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,993
No, we are here to get
information about Chris.
305
00:12:14,017 --> 00:12:17,062
I said,
go wait in the
fucking car!
306
00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:22,340
They had security
guards in the bathroom.
307
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,842
We live in such
a culture of fear now.
308
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,077
Hey, guys,
what are you
doing here?
309
00:12:32,101 --> 00:12:33,779
And why are you
dressed like that?
310
00:12:33,803 --> 00:12:35,903
Well, we realized
you like hanging out
with Jerome
311
00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:37,338
because he's black.
312
00:12:37,407 --> 00:12:39,574
So we wanted you
to know we can be
black guys, too.
313
00:12:39,642 --> 00:12:42,755
Yeah, in fact, we
can even be famous
movie black guys.
314
00:12:42,779 --> 00:12:44,044
I'm Bagger Vance.
315
00:12:44,113 --> 00:12:45,446
I also am Bagger Vance.
316
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,765
I'm Kazaam, from Kazaam.
317
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:49,945
You really think
I'm only hanging
out with Jerome
318
00:12:49,969 --> 00:12:51,302
'cause he's black?
319
00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:54,405
I hang out with Jerome
because, unlike some people,
320
00:12:54,473 --> 00:12:56,991
he actually takes
an interest in my life.
321
00:12:57,059 --> 00:12:58,904
And he would
never stick me
with the bill
322
00:12:58,928 --> 00:13:02,397
by walking out
on me at The Clam.
323
00:13:02,465 --> 00:13:05,010
Well, we could have
come over and
graciously apologized,
324
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,634
but we took a chance.
325
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:09,063
That's what I like about us.
326
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:16,780
Sucks we didn't find
out what kind of prank
they're gonna pull on Chris.
327
00:13:16,829 --> 00:13:18,474
I know that book
is The Hunger Games
328
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:19,808
with the cover taken off.
329
00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:21,499
Oh, look, something on TV.
330
00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:24,568
And finally tonight,a moving storyfrom James Woods High
331
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,015
where the student body has made
332
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:27,884
their Homecoming a special event
333
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,890
for a very special boy.
334
00:13:29,959 --> 00:13:33,961
And this year'sJames Woods HighHomecoming King is
335
00:13:34,029 --> 00:13:35,029
Chris Griffin.
336
00:13:35,097 --> 00:13:37,064
Yay!
337
00:13:40,002 --> 00:13:41,380
That's right, Chris Griffin,
338
00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:43,471
a tubby spaz with
a heart full of dreams
339
00:13:43,539 --> 00:13:45,373
gets to feel normal for a night,
340
00:13:45,441 --> 00:13:47,775
thanks to the kindness
of his peers.
341
00:13:47,843 --> 00:13:50,411
Oh...
342
00:13:50,479 --> 00:13:53,625
I just see him walkingaround with his handsdown his pants all day,
343
00:13:53,649 --> 00:13:57,151
and he's justso fat and weird,so we feel bad.
344
00:13:57,220 --> 00:14:00,855
Yeah, last year,we did the burnt-up kid,so this was a slam-dunk.
345
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:03,135
Oh, my God. They just
elected him out of pity
346
00:14:03,159 --> 00:14:04,970
because they think
he's mentally
challenged.
347
00:14:04,994 --> 00:14:08,296
Kind of like we did
with George W. Bush, huh?
348
00:14:08,365 --> 00:14:09,430
Right?
349
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:13,078
I guess.
I guess, Brian.
I don't know.
350
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:15,462
Let's just watch
some commercials.
351
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:23,928
Well, that explains it.
352
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:25,930
The only reason
Chris is Homecoming King
353
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:27,877
is that all the other
kids feel sorry for him.
354
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,011
Do you think he knows?
355
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,168
I can't imagine.
356
00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:32,052
And we can't tell him.
It would destroy him.
357
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:38,609
Look away.
No one may meet
the King's gaze.
358
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:43,681
So, hey, congratulations
again on that, uh,
Homecoming thing.
359
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:47,384
Why congratulate me
on a right and
natural turn of events?
360
00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:48,798
Now, if you'll excuse me,
361
00:14:48,822 --> 00:14:50,833
I shall select
three things from
Stewie's room
362
00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:52,802
that I wish to be mine.
363
00:14:52,826 --> 00:14:55,259
There's a book in there
on how to eat healthy.
364
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,289
Why don't you take that,
you fat bitch?
365
00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:59,947
Well, he obviously
doesn't know
it's just a pity vote.
366
00:15:00,016 --> 00:15:01,527
In fact, this whole
Homecoming King thing
367
00:15:01,551 --> 00:15:03,717
seems to have just gone
straight to his head.
368
00:15:03,786 --> 00:15:05,897
I know, he's acting
like an arrogant jerk.
369
00:15:05,921 --> 00:15:07,121
Quiet, Rupert,
370
00:15:07,190 --> 00:15:09,624
it is an honor to serve
the King in this manner.
371
00:15:09,692 --> 00:15:12,092
Brian, this can't go on.
Chris is out of control.
372
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:13,372
He's even more arrogant than
373
00:15:13,396 --> 00:15:15,246
an actor-writer-director.
374
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,960
Well, my script
is brilliant and
I'm a great director.
375
00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:21,144
The question is,
how bad do
I want this part?
376
00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:25,530
Okay, I'll do it.
377
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:31,912
Well, now we know,
378
00:15:31,981 --> 00:15:33,759
neither of us likes crepes.
379
00:15:33,783 --> 00:15:36,116
See, that's another thing
we got in common.
380
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,352
In fact, you wanna
hear something crazy?
381
00:15:38,421 --> 00:15:39,720
Peter and the fellas think that
382
00:15:39,789 --> 00:15:41,556
you and I only hang out together
383
00:15:41,624 --> 00:15:43,257
because we're both black.
384
00:15:43,325 --> 00:15:45,725
Uh-huh.
But I told them
that's insulting.
385
00:15:45,762 --> 00:15:48,640
Why is that insulting?
People like to
be with their own.
386
00:15:48,664 --> 00:15:50,376
I mean, you don't
think I hang out with you
387
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:51,810
because of your endless stories
388
00:15:51,834 --> 00:15:54,779
about working
your remote control,
or your fat son,
389
00:15:54,803 --> 00:15:57,505
or how you once made a dog
shake it's head "no."
390
00:15:57,574 --> 00:16:00,891
I manipulated
the cheeseburger,
what, like this.
391
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,111
You boring, man.
But you black.
So, we cool.
392
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:06,180
That's racist.
I'm offended.
393
00:16:06,249 --> 00:16:09,800
Whatever. I'll see
you around, Cleveland.
394
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:13,237
Man, I guess this
whole friendship
was a bad idea.
395
00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:16,374
Just like Goodyear's
advertising strategy.
396
00:16:16,426 --> 00:16:18,759
All right, we have $14
million to play with.
397
00:16:18,828 --> 00:16:21,061
I say we spend it all on blimps.
398
00:16:21,130 --> 00:16:23,063
'Cause who do we
wanna reach? Drivers.
399
00:16:23,132 --> 00:16:25,243
And where are people looking
when they're driving a car?
400
00:16:25,267 --> 00:16:26,267
Straight up.
401
00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:33,607
Squire, my chamber
pot needs emptying.
402
00:16:33,676 --> 00:16:34,708
What's he talking about?
403
00:16:34,777 --> 00:16:36,188
He's been pooping
on the waffle iron.
404
00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:38,957
Just plug it in
and close it,
it'll burn off.
405
00:16:38,981 --> 00:16:41,226
Look, Chris, you know,
being Homecoming King
406
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,629
doesn't mean
you can just
start acting crazy.
407
00:16:43,653 --> 00:16:45,253
I can do whatever I want.
408
00:16:45,287 --> 00:16:48,589
I've been acknowledged
by my peers as
their superior.
409
00:16:48,658 --> 00:16:50,825
You're just jealous
'cause you've
never done anything
410
00:16:50,893 --> 00:16:52,844
that deserves
being elected King.
411
00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:54,356
Okay, you wanna know the truth?
412
00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:56,409
They only picked you
because they
felt sorry for you.
413
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:59,433
Sorry? Why would
they feel sorry for me?
414
00:16:59,502 --> 00:17:02,381
Well, because
they all think you're
a, um... You know...
415
00:17:02,405 --> 00:17:05,739
Groundskeeper-
at-a-public-institution
kind of guy.
416
00:17:05,809 --> 00:17:06,941
A what?
417
00:17:07,009 --> 00:17:09,460
A dope. An idiot.
A waterhead.
418
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,962
You guys don't know
what you're talking about.
419
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,432
Tonight, when they put
that crown on my head,
420
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:17,101
it's gonna be
the greatest
night of my life.
421
00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:19,837
Even better than when
I had my first kiss.
422
00:17:44,180 --> 00:17:47,548
I say, we were
a little hard on Chris,
but I'm glad we came.
423
00:17:47,617 --> 00:17:49,457
He's still my brother.
Hey, look.
424
00:17:49,519 --> 00:17:52,319
There's the security guard
that threw me out of
the bathroom earlier.
425
00:17:52,388 --> 00:17:53,932
And he's here with his wife.
426
00:17:53,956 --> 00:17:56,123
This is like a date for them.
427
00:17:56,192 --> 00:17:58,860
Good evening, fingerers,
and fingerees.
428
00:17:58,928 --> 00:18:00,672
Sorry, I hada little rumin the car.
429
00:18:00,696 --> 00:18:02,997
Anyway, please welcome
your Homecoming King,
430
00:18:03,065 --> 00:18:04,131
Chris Griffin.
431
00:18:07,870 --> 00:18:09,537
Good evening, subjects.
432
00:18:09,605 --> 00:18:13,924
The boys' shower shall run red
with the blood of my enemies.
433
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:16,160
We believe in you!
Good for you, Chris!
434
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:19,229
No one clap too loud.
We don't wanna
frighten him.
435
00:18:19,549 --> 00:18:21,098
Wait a minute.
436
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:23,867
And now, your Queen,prom nightcar-crash victim,
437
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,419
Kathleen Fitzpatrick.
438
00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:28,389
Aw...
439
00:18:28,458 --> 00:18:29,890
We miss you, Kathleen!
440
00:18:29,959 --> 00:18:31,704
You're heaven's Queen now!
441
00:18:31,728 --> 00:18:33,277
Wow, she was hot.
442
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:36,981
The Queen is a dead girl?
What does that make me?
443
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:41,201
Brian and
Stewie were right.
This was a pity vote.
444
00:18:41,270 --> 00:18:42,836
We love you, Chris!
445
00:18:42,905 --> 00:18:45,705
You love me?You don't even knowanything about me.
446
00:18:45,741 --> 00:18:48,592
You just voted for meto makeyourselves feel better.
447
00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:53,898
She was on
PCP that night,
you idiots!
448
00:19:01,257 --> 00:19:03,724
Chris, I'm so sorry.
449
00:19:03,792 --> 00:19:06,538
That's okay.
You guys tried
to warn me.
450
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,373
Sorry I was such a jerk.
451
00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,837
Ah, don't worry
about it.
Are you okay?
452
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:13,434
You know what? I am.
453
00:19:13,502 --> 00:19:16,953
I may not be King,
but I learned
I don't need anyone's pity.
454
00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:18,489
That's the spirit, Chris.
455
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,892
And, hey, you're not
the Homecoming King,
456
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,193
but you'll always be my brother.
457
00:19:23,262 --> 00:19:25,741
Thanks, Stewie.
It means a lot
to me to know
458
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:28,677
I've always got
my family looking
out for me.
459
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:32,537
Oh, hey, Chris.
This is Tyler.
460
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:34,438
Don't make this weird now.
461
00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:37,642
What a gentleman.
462
00:19:45,367 --> 00:19:47,245
Well, Cleveland,
it's good to have
you back, buddy.
463
00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:48,869
It's good to be back.
464
00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:50,337
Hanging with Jerome was fun,
465
00:19:50,406 --> 00:19:53,140
but my best friends
are right here
in this room.
466
00:19:53,209 --> 00:19:54,587
Hey, to celebrate,
how about we play
467
00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:56,421
a little
old-school
Double Dribble?
468
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:59,080
Okay. But no
stupid-ass shots
from the corner.
469
00:19:59,148 --> 00:20:00,425
Because that's
a glitch in the software.
470
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:01,582
Game on!
471
00:20:04,220 --> 00:20:06,988
All right,
bring it up the court.
And, corner three!
472
00:20:07,056 --> 00:20:09,256
No, no,
that's what I'm talking about!
473
00:20:09,325 --> 00:20:10,325
Steal.
474
00:20:11,227 --> 00:20:13,193
Up. Corner three!
475
00:20:13,262 --> 00:20:16,463
All right,
here we go.
I got something cooking.
476
00:20:16,532 --> 00:20:18,372
Oh, you dropped something.
477
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:21,102
Think I'll head
over in this direction.
Corner three!
478
00:20:21,170 --> 00:20:22,715
It's a rout.
It's a blowout.
479
00:20:22,739 --> 00:20:24,538
It's some bullcrap.
480
00:20:24,607 --> 00:20:26,647
Couple of nice
passes there... Hey!
481
00:20:26,676 --> 00:20:28,253
See?
Competitive ball game.
482
00:20:28,277 --> 00:20:30,277
What should I do?
Pass, and then go up...
483
00:20:30,346 --> 00:20:32,579
And, corner three!
484
00:20:32,649 --> 00:20:35,349
All right, enough of this mess.
485
00:20:35,417 --> 00:20:36,962
Shoot it.
Shoot it from there.
486
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:39,798
The refs are
letting them play.
I do appreciate that.
487
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:42,801
Yeah, that's
what I'm talking about.
Now, I'm playing for real.
488
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:44,103
Yeah, you're doing pretty good.
489
00:20:44,127 --> 00:20:46,493
What play should I call now?
Maybe... Corner three!
490
00:20:46,562 --> 00:20:49,697
He's hot. He is hot.
Keep feeding that guy.
491
00:20:49,766 --> 00:20:52,266
Hi, nice to meet you.
Can I have that?
492
00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:53,912
Hang out over here for a second.
493
00:20:53,936 --> 00:20:56,381
Corner three!
You gotta get
out there, Cleveland.
494
00:20:56,405 --> 00:20:59,573
I'm trying!
He's taking advantage
of poor technology.
495
00:20:59,642 --> 00:21:01,942
Lot of
dribbling. Swipe.
496
00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:03,911
Here we... Oh,
I hit the wrong button.
497
00:21:03,980 --> 00:21:06,700
I think you all know
I was going for
a corner three.
36280
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
