Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,871 --> 00:00:04,874
♪♪ [theme]
2
00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:52,704
[whistling]
3
00:01:27,522 --> 00:01:29,437
Does the Colonel wish
to dictate a letter?
4
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,265
No, no, I was just gonna
write one to my wife.
5
00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:33,223
Our anniversary's
coming up shortly.
6
00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:35,399
Oh. Congratulations, sir.
7
00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:37,271
Thank you.
Are you married, Radar?
8
00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:39,316
No, sir.
9
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,536
I'm just a kid.
10
00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:43,886
Well, when you
get back home,
11
00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:45,279
you oughtta find
yourself a nice girl.
12
00:01:46,584 --> 00:01:48,978
Uh, first I wanna
get a '46 Chevy.
13
00:01:49,021 --> 00:01:52,286
I've had 27 wonderful years
with Mrs. Potter.
14
00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:53,765
Well, yes, sir.
15
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:56,594
Can't get that kind of
mileage out of a Chevy.
16
00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:59,119
Oh, I never ride
the clutch, sir.
17
00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:04,211
[clearing throat]
18
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,516
Finished
the daily report?
19
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,128
Uh, yes, I did, sir.
20
00:02:08,171 --> 00:02:09,955
Notify the officer
of the day?
21
00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:12,262
Done.
I've done and
did everything
22
00:02:12,306 --> 00:02:15,570
you told me to done
and, uh, do, sir.
23
00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:18,050
Relax, Radar.
Smoke if you've got 'em.
24
00:02:18,094 --> 00:02:20,531
I'm just a kid, sir.
25
00:02:22,054 --> 00:02:23,969
Would you like
to clean up the office?
26
00:02:24,013 --> 00:02:25,884
Oh, yes, sir.
That would be nice.
27
00:02:25,928 --> 00:02:28,017
That's-- I did--
That's one of my best things.
28
00:02:34,545 --> 00:02:36,068
POTTER [thinking]:
"My dearest Mildred..."
29
00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:40,029
[crumpling paper]
30
00:02:41,726 --> 00:02:43,554
"My dearest Mildred.
31
00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:45,817
"Well, one more year
has rolled around,
32
00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:47,776
"and we are facing
another anniversary
33
00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:49,125
"away from each other.
34
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,083
"Thanks for
the talcum powder.
35
00:02:51,127 --> 00:02:54,609
"Took a long walk
yesterday and didn't
chafe a lick.
36
00:02:54,652 --> 00:02:57,220
"Tickled to hear you
got your corn removed.
37
00:02:57,264 --> 00:02:59,309
"Wish I were there
to dance with you.
38
00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:01,050
"As for me,
39
00:03:01,093 --> 00:03:03,531
"I'm still tryin' to
get used to this outfit.
40
00:03:03,574 --> 00:03:04,967
"It's not easy.
41
00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:06,708
"I'm the new kid
on the block,
42
00:03:06,751 --> 00:03:09,450
"and they've all got
their own little ways.
43
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:12,975
"Like my company clerk,
a young boy they call 'Radar.'
44
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:15,630
"Nice enough, but...
little squirrelly.
45
00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:22,332
"Of course, he's been
over here a long time.
46
00:03:22,376 --> 00:03:24,073
"As your cousin
Natalie said,
47
00:03:24,116 --> 00:03:26,118
"and she's been
quoted by so many,
48
00:03:26,162 --> 00:03:27,729
"'War is hell.'"
49
00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:29,078
[knocking at door]
50
00:03:29,121 --> 00:03:31,036
"Someone's at
the door, dear."
51
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,037
Uh, yes, sir.
52
00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:37,304
Colonel.
53
00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:38,783
-Major. Major.
-Colonel.
54
00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:40,176
What can I do you for?
55
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,482
Uh, with-- with
your permission, sir,
56
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:43,048
we'd like to take
your picture.
57
00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:44,963
For the unit
yearbook, sir.
58
00:03:45,007 --> 00:03:46,617
I didn't know
you had a yearbook.
59
00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:48,097
-Oh, yes.
-Oh, yes. We've had
one every year.
60
00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:49,403
Starting with
this one.
61
00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:53,842
What kind of pose
would you like?
62
00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:56,758
-Um, standing.
-Sitting.
63
00:03:56,801 --> 00:03:58,934
-Standing would be
better, Major.
-Not sitting?
64
00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:02,024
Standing is very difficult
to do when you're sitting.
65
00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:04,026
Why don't I stand?
66
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:06,811
Uh, uh...
67
00:04:06,855 --> 00:04:09,379
-MARGARET: An F-4 and 1/100th.
-FRANK: Yes, yes.
68
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,076
-Uh, sir.
-FRANK: Huh?
69
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,730
I think it would be better
with a 2.8 and a 1/25th.
70
00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:14,776
Keep your exposures
to yourself! Hold it!
71
00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,212
[camera shutter clicks]
72
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,605
Now a side view.
73
00:04:17,648 --> 00:04:20,477
No, you stay, sir.
He'll move. Move!
74
00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:26,309
Protection.
Protection, yes.
75
00:04:27,832 --> 00:04:29,791
[laughing]
Neat.
76
00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:31,836
Thank you, Colonel.
Thank you very much.
77
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,534
No sweat, I'm sure.
78
00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:35,840
Major.
Colonel.
79
00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:41,063
Curious,
aren't they?
80
00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:45,589
Oh, just about
each other.
81
00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:47,722
Well, sir,
I'm all finished now,
82
00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:50,377
unless you've got
some more dirt that
I don't know about.
83
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:53,815
That's all.
Were my shirts delivered
by that laundry woman?
84
00:04:53,858 --> 00:04:56,383
She's a little slow, sir.
Her ox is sick.
85
00:04:56,426 --> 00:04:58,080
Oh, sorry
to hear that.
86
00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:05,348
-RADAR: Sirs.
-Hm?
87
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:07,785
Um, I-- I was
just wondering, uh,
88
00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:11,615
would you mind taking
a picture of me
with your camera?
89
00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:14,226
"Neither a borrower
nor a lender be."
90
00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:21,799
Morning, Radar.
91
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:23,932
Uh, good morning,
Father.
92
00:05:23,975 --> 00:05:29,329
Um, I was just testing
the wind direction.
93
00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:31,287
Ah, it's north.
94
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:34,595
How about a date
right after chow?
95
00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:35,857
They ran out of poodle.
96
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:37,119
What will we do?
97
00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:38,338
We could go to
the generator shed
98
00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:40,688
and watch the valves
go up an down.
99
00:05:40,731 --> 00:05:43,560
-Captain,
can I talk to you, sir?
-Uh, just a second, lad.
100
00:05:43,604 --> 00:05:45,562
-There's bird watching.
-At night?
101
00:05:45,606 --> 00:05:47,521
-Bat watching?
-It's not important, sir.
102
00:05:47,564 --> 00:05:48,870
Meet me in the Swamp,
Radar.
103
00:05:48,913 --> 00:05:50,611
Oh, thank you, sir.
104
00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:53,004
-Why don't we just
go to your tent?
-Uh-uh.
105
00:05:53,048 --> 00:05:54,266
What's the matter,
you live with your folks?
106
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:55,267
[chuckling]
107
00:06:02,753 --> 00:06:05,016
[whistling]
108
00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:08,455
[whistling stops]
109
00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:10,631
You know how to
knock, soldier?
110
00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:11,719
Sure, sir.
111
00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:14,112
[knocking]
112
00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:17,246
Just traipsing in.
113
00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:19,553
Now, suppose I'd been
engaged in some top-secret,
114
00:06:19,596 --> 00:06:22,077
hush-hush, confidential
activity, huh?
115
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:25,863
Oh, I peeked first to
see if Major Houlihan
was here, sir.
116
00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:27,169
You little fink!
117
00:06:27,212 --> 00:06:30,390
-Who's a little fink?
-I am, sir.
118
00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:32,653
You may think it's
all right to give
enlisted men
119
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:33,871
free run
of our quarters.
120
00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:36,483
-I disapprove.
-I told him to meet me.
121
00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:38,354
Oh, well, who do you
think you are?
122
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,964
Captain
Benjamin Franklin Pierce,
123
00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:41,879
surgeon, U.S. Army
involuntary.
124
00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:43,315
Your hand is filthy.
125
00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:45,056
I was leaning against
a dusty nurse.
126
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:46,362
For a change.
127
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,885
Where you goin',
Frank?
128
00:06:47,929 --> 00:06:50,322
That's for me to know
and you to find out.
129
00:06:50,366 --> 00:06:52,847
Witty dog.
130
00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:55,284
I'm probably responsible
for his leaving.
131
00:06:55,327 --> 00:06:56,590
Ah. Come in
more often.
132
00:06:57,808 --> 00:07:00,115
What's up, Radar?
133
00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:02,770
Oh.
It's Colonel Potter.
134
00:07:02,813 --> 00:07:05,642
Gee, I just can't get
relaxed around him.
135
00:07:05,686 --> 00:07:08,471
It's like staying
with your aunt instead
of your mother.
136
00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:10,473
You gotta say "please."
137
00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:13,563
You can't dunk your
Zwieback in your Bosco.
138
00:07:13,607 --> 00:07:14,738
You're not used
to him yet, Radar.
139
00:07:14,782 --> 00:07:17,480
-Give him time.
-Oh, no, no, no!
140
00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:19,961
I spent 15 summers
with my aunt.
141
00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:22,180
Always came home
with hyperacidity.
142
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,577
Ol' Henry Blake
was like his father.
143
00:07:27,621 --> 00:07:29,405
Oh, yeah.
144
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,363
Taught me everything
about life and everything.
145
00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:33,453
Even women.
146
00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:36,499
-HAWKEYE: I know.
-I can't wait to get home
and try it out.
147
00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:39,546
Give Potter a chance, Radar.
He's okay.
148
00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:42,940
No, no, it's not the same!
It's my aunt all over again.
149
00:07:45,856 --> 00:07:47,118
-Chopper.
-[helicopter blades whirring]
150
00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:48,380
MAN [over P.A.]:
Incoming chopper.
151
00:07:48,424 --> 00:07:51,253
No wounded.
Repeat, no wounded.
152
00:07:51,296 --> 00:07:52,950
Just mail
for a few luckies.
153
00:07:58,869 --> 00:08:00,610
-MAN: Here you go, Corporal.
-Thank you, sir.
154
00:08:00,654 --> 00:08:02,394
I wanna check
the tail rotor cables,
155
00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:04,658
and then, uh, y'all got
a sharpshooter around here?
156
00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:06,921
We've got four rifles
in this outfit,
157
00:08:06,964 --> 00:08:08,531
and one of them's
a reading lamp.
158
00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:10,141
Well, we got
a wounded horse up north.
159
00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:11,621
Left there
by the Chinese.
160
00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:14,102
I wanna put the critter
out of its misery.
161
00:08:14,145 --> 00:08:15,799
Hey, hey, hey,
wait a minute!
162
00:08:15,843 --> 00:08:17,584
You just gonna shoot it?
163
00:08:17,627 --> 00:08:19,150
Well, I think
he's pretty badly hurt.
164
00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:20,630
Well, you can't
do that.
165
00:08:20,674 --> 00:08:22,066
Radar, the animal's
probably suffering.
166
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:23,633
Well, that doesn't mean
you have to kill it.
167
00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:26,201
-It's got rights.
-Well, what else can I do?
168
00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:28,203
Well, these sirs
are doctors, sir.
169
00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:29,726
So maybe they can
save it.
170
00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:31,119
Come on.
I'll go with ya.
171
00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:32,163
Would youse, huh?
172
00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:34,470
Please?
Pretty please?
173
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,907
-You get the feeling
we're in a Lassie movie?
-Please?
174
00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:37,995
-All right, okay.
-Okay.
175
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:40,258
-Will you help us?
-Sure.
176
00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:41,564
POTTER [thinking]:
"Sorry I had to leave you
for a minute,
177
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,261
"Mildred, dear.
178
00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:45,220
"I walked over from
my office to the mess tent
179
00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:47,135
"for a cup of Joe.
180
00:08:47,178 --> 00:08:49,311
"Can't say much
for the coffee here.
181
00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:52,967
"But if I run out of ink,
I'm covered. Ha, ha."
182
00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:55,404
-Colonel?
-Padre.
183
00:08:55,447 --> 00:08:57,145
-Little coffee break?
-Yes, sir.
184
00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:01,410
I've been hearing
confessions all morning.
185
00:09:01,453 --> 00:09:03,499
It gets me right in
through here.
186
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,196
Enjoyed the sermon Sunday.
187
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:08,417
Oh, yes.
"Do unto thy brother."
188
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:11,551
You know, you can't miss
if you've got good material.
189
00:09:14,118 --> 00:09:16,991
Well, if you'll excuse me,
I have to run.
190
00:09:17,034 --> 00:09:18,819
More confessions?
191
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:19,950
Dysentery.
192
00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:22,387
Ah, well,
"This too shall pass."
193
00:09:28,176 --> 00:09:30,874
POTTER:
"Excuse me, Mildred.
That was Father Mulcahy.
194
00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:34,661
"You'd like him.
Very dedicated,
fine young priest.
195
00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:38,447
"Every once in a while
he'll surprise
the putteez of ya.
196
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:40,754
"The other night we were
watching a movie...
197
00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:42,930
[whooping]
198
00:09:45,802 --> 00:09:47,499
Three to one,
I'll take the Indians.
199
00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:49,589
It's a bet.
Five bucks.
200
00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:52,330
-What's the name of
this picture?
-"Custer's Last Stand."
201
00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:54,202
Hey, you're ruining
my picture!
202
00:09:54,245 --> 00:09:58,336
[all exclaiming]
203
00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:01,035
[horse neighing]
204
00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:03,037
[grunting]
205
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:06,693
-[all exclaiming]
-KLINGER: Lights. Lights.
206
00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:09,260
-Can you fix it, Corporal?
-I think so, sir.
207
00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:10,305
Don't you have
another picture?
208
00:10:10,348 --> 00:10:11,872
Just one,
a training film.
209
00:10:11,915 --> 00:10:12,916
"Fungus of the Feet."
210
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,396
Starring
Fred Astaire.
211
00:10:14,439 --> 00:10:16,267
How long will it take,
Corporal?
212
00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:17,921
Uh, few minutes, sir.
213
00:10:17,965 --> 00:10:20,054
ALL: Aww.
214
00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:22,360
Patience is its
own reward, folks.
215
00:10:22,404 --> 00:10:24,232
Perhaps,
with your permission,
216
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:26,974
Lieutenant O'Connor and I
can give you a little preview
217
00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:29,585
of a number
we've been rehearsing
for the orphan show.
218
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:34,416
-Here, here.
-[applause]
219
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:35,896
Come, my child.
220
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:38,246
[humming]
221
00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:39,813
-[indistinct singing]
-O'CONNOR: Yeah.
222
00:10:39,856 --> 00:10:41,815
MULCAHY: [humming]
223
00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:46,471
♪ When you're all dressed up
and no place to go ♪
224
00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:50,127
♪ Life seems weary,
dreary and slow ♪
225
00:10:50,171 --> 00:10:55,045
♪ My heart has ached and bled
for the tears I've shed ♪
226
00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:59,789
♪ When I've no place to go
unless I went back to bed ♪
227
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:04,664
♪ I've had a sad, sad life
and whenever I go ♪
228
00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:10,670
♪ To that peaceful spot
where the violets grow ♪
229
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:17,981
♪ Upon a nice white stone
will be written below ♪
230
00:11:18,025 --> 00:11:22,812
♪ He was all dressed up
and no place to go ♪
231
00:11:22,856 --> 00:11:25,859
[applause]
232
00:11:29,819 --> 00:11:31,734
[whirring]
233
00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:47,837
Can you see him, Dan?
234
00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:50,840
He's about a mile west
of your position.
235
00:11:50,884 --> 00:11:53,713
You're gonna have to
get off the road.
236
00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:58,413
Dan, any unfriendlies
around?
237
00:11:58,456 --> 00:12:00,023
Good question.
238
00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:01,503
Negative.
239
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,030
This is crazy!
240
00:12:07,074 --> 00:12:10,642
As opposed to just
being in Korea?
241
00:12:10,686 --> 00:12:12,470
Turn right at that tree,
242
00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:14,777
and you'll see him
about 2 o'clock.
243
00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,710
RADAR: Great!
244
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,494
HAWKEYE: Perfect, Dan.
Good spotting!
245
00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:38,018
B.J.: We're fine from here.
246
00:12:42,457 --> 00:12:44,807
RADAR: This is good.
Stop. Not too close.
247
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:53,468
You know anything
about horses?
248
00:12:53,511 --> 00:12:56,297
-I stepped in
some manure once.
-You're in charge.
249
00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:57,777
[nickering]
250
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:01,215
Ah, come on,
come on, come on.
251
00:13:01,258 --> 00:13:03,826
[whinnying]
252
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:05,436
-Oh!
-Ooh!
253
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,656
Look at him!
Wow, he's beautiful!
254
00:13:07,699 --> 00:13:09,353
I just hope it's not
two Chinese in a horse suit.
255
00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:10,964
Let's just get him
and get outta here.
256
00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:12,835
Well, wait a minute.
Maybe we should
talk to him first.
257
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,141
Radar, if he's got
anything to say,
258
00:13:14,184 --> 00:13:15,838
he'll tell you
in the truck.
259
00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:20,843
Easy. Easy.
260
00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:23,063
Don't scare him.
He might hurt himself.
261
00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:24,760
Did you ever
lasso anything?
262
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,980
My little sister.
Owed me a nickel.
263
00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:31,027
Hawkeye, get over there
and draw his attention
264
00:13:31,071 --> 00:13:33,638
-away from me.
-You got it, Tex.
265
00:13:33,682 --> 00:13:36,380
Careful.
Don't hurt him.
266
00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:44,693
[horse whinnying]
267
00:13:44,736 --> 00:13:46,260
Throw it.
He's giving me the eye.
268
00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:58,272
Gimme that rope.
269
00:13:58,315 --> 00:13:59,795
-It's still my turn.
-Come on. Come on.
270
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:04,713
What you gotta do is make
him think you're just...
271
00:14:04,756 --> 00:14:07,194
headin' for the bunkhouse
for a cup of coffee.
272
00:14:07,237 --> 00:14:08,848
[whinnies]
273
00:14:11,459 --> 00:14:13,591
He knows you're not
goin' to the bunkhouse.
274
00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:14,984
Would you sirs mind
just holding still
275
00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:16,856
for just a minute?
Okay?
276
00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:27,214
Easy, boy.
277
00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:30,130
Easy, boy.
I'm not gonna hurt ya.
278
00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:32,828
Attaboy.
Look what I got here.
279
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,091
My name is Radar.
Radar O'Reilly.
280
00:14:35,135 --> 00:14:36,614
[nickering]
281
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:40,836
Yeah, you're
a nice horse, aren't ya?
282
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,707
[nickering]
283
00:14:42,751 --> 00:14:45,058
Would you like to take
a ride in a nice big truck?
284
00:14:45,101 --> 00:14:47,495
I'll sit right beside
you all the way.
285
00:14:49,149 --> 00:14:51,934
Here. Come on.
286
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:55,155
Attaboy. Come on.
287
00:14:57,113 --> 00:14:59,768
If I could only do
that with nurses.
288
00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:08,908
POTTER [thinking]:
"Just got back from
Rosie's Bar, dear.
289
00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:10,866
"A civilian joint
across the road.
290
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,563
"Picked up a few beers.
291
00:15:12,607 --> 00:15:15,349
"Ran into Majors Burns
and Houlihan.
292
00:15:15,392 --> 00:15:19,092
"She's the head nurse.
He's the head twerp.
293
00:15:19,135 --> 00:15:23,139
"He's married,
but I think something's
going on between 'em.
294
00:15:23,183 --> 00:15:25,054
"Course,
it's none of my business.
295
00:15:25,098 --> 00:15:27,317
"Sometimes he has lip rouge
around his mouth,
296
00:15:27,361 --> 00:15:29,189
"and his lips
are all swollen.
297
00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:32,018
"But like I say,
that's none of my affair.
298
00:15:32,061 --> 00:15:34,672
"Seen her a few times with
whisker burns on her cheeks,
299
00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:37,153
"but that's of
no interest to me.
300
00:15:37,197 --> 00:15:40,635
"He did come into the O.R.
the other morning with
teeth marks on his neck.
301
00:15:40,678 --> 00:15:42,506
"Doesn't prove anything,
though.
302
00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:45,118
"He could have been rough
housing with the camp dogs.
303
00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:47,424
"But you know
how I am, Mildred.
304
00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:52,473
"What folks do
on their off duty hours
is no business of mine."
305
00:15:52,516 --> 00:15:56,172
Ah! Anniversary.
I understand.
306
00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:58,000
Many happy returns.
307
00:15:58,044 --> 00:15:59,959
I have just what
the major needs.
308
00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:04,746
William Holden.
309
00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:06,139
No. No, no.
310
00:16:06,182 --> 00:16:08,445
No, it isn't
his anniversary.
311
00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:09,925
It's the Colonel's.
312
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,580
And we want to get him
something special.
313
00:16:12,623 --> 00:16:15,322
Oh.
314
00:16:15,365 --> 00:16:16,976
Yeah.
315
00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:21,371
One doorstop,
two dollars.
316
00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:24,418
Two bookends, a special,
four dollars.
317
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:26,333
If you'll just shut up,
we'll tell you what we want.
318
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:28,161
Okay, Joe.
319
00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:32,817
One of our sergeants
said you do wood carving.
320
00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:34,776
Oh! Sergeant Kowalski.
321
00:16:34,819 --> 00:16:38,606
I made a naked lady
radiator cap for his
father's Chrysler.
322
00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:40,042
Oh, now we're
getting somewhere.
323
00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:41,913
You do carve.
324
00:16:41,957 --> 00:16:43,480
I show you.
325
00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:49,051
Used to be round.
326
00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:52,837
-Looks like a two-by-four.
-Thank you.
327
00:16:56,319 --> 00:16:58,452
Look at these.
328
00:16:58,495 --> 00:16:59,975
That's Colonel Potter.
329
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,021
Front view.
Side view.
330
00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:03,892
-Two views.
-Check.
331
00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:05,241
No checks.
Strictly cash.
332
00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:06,460
[laughs]
333
00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:09,419
No, the major
will pay in cash.
334
00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:13,467
We would like a bust carved
of Colonel Potter.
335
00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:16,122
-I thought you were
gonna pay half.
-All right!
336
00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:18,472
Can you carve a bust?
337
00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:21,475
-Wood or stone?
-Wood.
338
00:17:21,518 --> 00:17:24,521
Hmm. Lotsa work.
Two assistants.
339
00:17:24,565 --> 00:17:28,612
Electric light at night.
Overtime. Hmm.
340
00:17:28,656 --> 00:17:30,179
Six bucks.
341
00:17:30,223 --> 00:17:32,660
-Well...
-Frank.
342
00:17:32,703 --> 00:17:34,792
These people have
no "espect-ray"
343
00:17:34,836 --> 00:17:37,186
unless you "aggle-hay"
over the "ice-pray."
344
00:17:42,887 --> 00:17:44,715
-Five dollars.
-Seven-fifty.
345
00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:46,630
Sold.
346
00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:48,502
"Umb-day"!
347
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:51,418
You just
take it easy, pal.
348
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:53,768
This isn't gonna hurt,
not a bit.
349
00:17:53,811 --> 00:17:56,249
These guys are
terrific doctors.
350
00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:58,077
Don't build him up
too much, Radar.
351
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,122
This is my first
horse-ectomy.
352
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:01,906
Didn't you guys' own pets
ever get sick?
353
00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:04,300
The only pet I ever had
was a stuffed owl.
354
00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:06,041
A very true
and loyal bird.
355
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,129
Give 'em a little cotton,
and they're yours for life.
356
00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:08,696
[horse whinnies]
357
00:18:08,739 --> 00:18:10,654
Don't you listen.
They're just kidding.
358
00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:13,004
-Ready, Doctor?
-As ready as I'll ever be.
359
00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:17,922
-[horse whinnies]
-Oh-oh.
360
00:18:17,966 --> 00:18:19,098
-Easy. Nice, nice fella.
-Nice, nice.
361
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:20,099
Like that.
362
00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:22,840
Boy-y-y.
Good. Good.
363
00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:24,494
Easy, pal.
364
00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:26,105
They're just gonna swab
your behind in the back.
365
00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:27,584
That's all.
366
00:18:27,628 --> 00:18:29,543
How bad is it?
367
00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:31,153
-[horse whinnies]
-From point of entry,
368
00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:33,242
it looks like one piece
of shrapnel.
369
00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:34,591
He'll be fine, Radar.
370
00:18:34,635 --> 00:18:37,028
You can bet him
to win, place and live.
371
00:18:37,072 --> 00:18:38,682
Ya got anything
to calm him down?
372
00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:40,162
I'm trying to give
him a sedative.
373
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:41,772
You got anything
to calm me down?
374
00:18:41,816 --> 00:18:43,252
Radar, will you
hold on to him?
375
00:18:43,296 --> 00:18:45,167
I am holding him!
376
00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:47,038
[horse whinnies]
377
00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:48,301
Radar.
378
00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:49,780
Easy, boy--
easy, easy.
379
00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:51,913
Watch it, watch it,
watch it! Radar!
380
00:18:51,956 --> 00:18:53,654
[horse whinnies]
381
00:18:58,180 --> 00:18:59,616
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa!
382
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:00,704
[boards splintering]
383
00:19:05,579 --> 00:19:08,234
You're in business
for yourself, Radar!
384
00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:09,322
Did he kick you?
385
00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:11,062
No. He just missed
the lavaliere.
386
00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:12,542
He's all
calmed down now.
387
00:19:12,586 --> 00:19:14,196
-You forget it.
He's crazy.
-He's crazy.
388
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,024
Well,
he's only human.
389
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:19,070
Anyway, the sedative worked.
His eyes are all glazed over.
390
00:19:19,114 --> 00:19:21,160
That's not the end
we're worried about.
391
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:22,639
But, he needs you!
392
00:19:22,683 --> 00:19:24,772
-N-no. Radar--
-Oh, please?
393
00:19:24,815 --> 00:19:25,947
No, no.
394
00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:27,688
Come on.
He needs ya. Please?
395
00:19:27,731 --> 00:19:29,646
MAN [over P.A.]:
Attention.
396
00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:32,301
Here's a bulletin from
the truce talks in Panmunjom.
397
00:19:32,345 --> 00:19:34,651
After six weeks
of negotiation,
398
00:19:34,695 --> 00:19:36,653
the U.N. And North Korea
have agreed
399
00:19:36,697 --> 00:19:38,655
that flagpoles
in the peace compound
400
00:19:38,699 --> 00:19:42,224
are to be 32 feet,
6 1/4 inches high.
401
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:44,139
World leaders
hail this agreement
402
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:47,011
as an important step
toward lasting peace.
403
00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:49,013
HAWKEYE: Radar, you know,
the longer you keep him,
404
00:19:49,057 --> 00:19:51,233
the more attached
you're gonna get.
405
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:52,800
Maybe some farmer down
in the village can take him.
406
00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:54,367
Are you kidding?
407
00:19:54,410 --> 00:19:57,021
Have him pull some heavy wagon
full of rocks and junk?
408
00:19:57,065 --> 00:19:58,719
I'm keeping him.
409
00:19:58,762 --> 00:20:00,329
B.J.: I don't think you can.
410
00:20:00,373 --> 00:20:02,070
Colonel Blake used to
let me keep pets.
411
00:20:02,113 --> 00:20:03,593
He let me keep
Black Beauty.
412
00:20:04,681 --> 00:20:06,509
Black Beauty
was a hamster.
413
00:20:06,553 --> 00:20:07,684
Potter's not Blake.
414
00:20:07,728 --> 00:20:09,382
He'll never even know.
415
00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:10,644
The man's ex-cavalry.
416
00:20:10,687 --> 00:20:12,254
If he spots four flies
having a meeting,
417
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:14,256
he knows they're talking
about a horse.
418
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:17,216
I'm not giving him up.
419
00:20:17,259 --> 00:20:20,523
Look at his eyes.
He loves me.
420
00:20:20,567 --> 00:20:23,265
You don't
even know his name,
background, family.
421
00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:24,919
There's a difference
in your ages.
422
00:20:28,705 --> 00:20:32,231
[airplanes roaring above]
423
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,845
Spit on the tips, Frank.
424
00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:41,196
[chuckling]
425
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,719
Well, where is that
wood carver?
426
00:20:42,763 --> 00:20:44,939
He promised to deliver
the bust this morning.
427
00:20:44,982 --> 00:20:49,683
I told you not to pay
in advance.
428
00:20:49,726 --> 00:20:52,686
I told you to pay half
when we ordered it,
429
00:20:52,729 --> 00:20:55,341
and half on delivery.
430
00:20:55,384 --> 00:20:56,690
Oh, I didn't know.
431
00:20:56,733 --> 00:20:57,952
My wife usually handles
these dumb things.
432
00:21:00,346 --> 00:21:02,652
Frank, you mention
that person's name
433
00:21:02,696 --> 00:21:04,263
in this tent once more,
434
00:21:04,306 --> 00:21:06,700
and you'll never spit
on my boots again.
435
00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:08,658
Sorry, Margaret.
436
00:21:08,702 --> 00:21:10,399
[knocking at door]
437
00:21:10,443 --> 00:21:11,879
MAN:
Cho Man Chin.
438
00:21:15,796 --> 00:21:18,842
-Hello, lady and man.
-Well, it's about time!
439
00:21:18,886 --> 00:21:21,410
-You like rope around box?
-Yes, yes, it's fine.
440
00:21:21,454 --> 00:21:24,108
Gift wrapped.
I did a first-class job.
441
00:21:24,152 --> 00:21:25,414
How do I look?
442
00:21:25,458 --> 00:21:27,286
You have a little
dandruff.
443
00:21:27,329 --> 00:21:28,939
That's none of
your business.
444
00:21:28,983 --> 00:21:30,637
I'm also
a hairdresser.
445
00:21:35,990 --> 00:21:38,122
You don't have any
dandruff, Margaret.
446
00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:40,081
You got rid of
most of it.
447
00:21:40,124 --> 00:21:42,562
-Where are you going?
-I hate to miss the big moment.
448
00:21:42,605 --> 00:21:44,259
You've been paid,
so push off!
449
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,696
Please. An artist's life
has so few rewards.
450
00:21:46,740 --> 00:21:48,959
Frank, I go on duty
in ten minutes.
451
00:21:49,003 --> 00:21:52,180
-What's in the box, Frank?
-None of your beeswax.
452
00:21:52,223 --> 00:21:54,835
A present for the
Colonel's anniversary.
453
00:21:54,878 --> 00:21:57,707
We should've
gotten him something.
454
00:21:57,751 --> 00:22:00,667
Watches.
Ballpoint pens.
455
00:22:00,710 --> 00:22:04,018
Look at this.
Very valuable.
456
00:22:04,061 --> 00:22:06,150
Hitler's pencil box.
457
00:22:09,763 --> 00:22:11,112
POTTER [thinking]:
"And so, Mildred dear,
458
00:22:11,155 --> 00:22:13,680
"I come to the end
of this long letter.
459
00:22:13,723 --> 00:22:16,204
"Sorry we can't be together
on our anniversary,
460
00:22:16,247 --> 00:22:18,946
"but my heart is always
with you.
461
00:22:18,989 --> 00:22:20,948
"Your ever loving Sherm."
462
00:22:24,081 --> 00:22:25,344
[knocking at door]
463
00:22:25,387 --> 00:22:27,215
Come in.
464
00:22:27,258 --> 00:22:29,086
BOTH:
Happy anniversary, Colonel!
465
00:22:29,130 --> 00:22:31,480
Well!
This is indeed a surprise!
466
00:22:31,524 --> 00:22:33,395
B.J. and I
didn't know, Colonel.
467
00:22:33,439 --> 00:22:34,918
Yeah. We'd have
gotten you something.
468
00:22:34,962 --> 00:22:37,573
World Series ring?
469
00:22:37,617 --> 00:22:39,227
You really shouldn't
have done this.
470
00:22:39,270 --> 00:22:40,402
Oh, it was nothing.
471
00:22:40,446 --> 00:22:42,752
Oh, this is from
me and Major Burns.
472
00:22:42,796 --> 00:22:44,450
They had nothing
to do with it.
473
00:22:47,453 --> 00:22:48,628
Can't figure
what this is.
474
00:22:48,671 --> 00:22:50,456
Well, uh, may I, sir?
475
00:22:50,499 --> 00:22:51,935
The moment of truth.
476
00:22:51,979 --> 00:22:53,937
Remember the day we took
your picture, sir?
477
00:22:53,981 --> 00:22:56,331
-Well...
-Voila!
478
00:22:57,419 --> 00:22:58,377
Hey, I like that!
479
00:22:58,420 --> 00:23:01,162
Hey, that's nice!
480
00:23:01,205 --> 00:23:02,424
FRANK:
It doesn't look
like the Colonel.
481
00:23:02,468 --> 00:23:04,470
It looks like you.
482
00:23:04,513 --> 00:23:05,993
It gives the Colonel
a little class.
483
00:23:09,692 --> 00:23:12,391
Well, I'm overwhelmed.
I think it's a dandy likeness.
484
00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:13,740
[knocking at door]
485
00:23:13,783 --> 00:23:15,350
Come.
486
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:16,830
Ah, sir?
487
00:23:16,873 --> 00:23:18,701
I have a present
for your anniversary.
488
00:23:18,745 --> 00:23:21,400
Well, this is turning
into a real party!
489
00:23:21,443 --> 00:23:23,402
-Can I bring it in, sir?
-POTTER: Please.
490
00:23:25,708 --> 00:23:27,754
Wish Mother were here
to enjoy all this.
491
00:23:38,199 --> 00:23:40,201
Oh... my!
492
00:23:42,682 --> 00:23:44,292
It's a horse, sir.
493
00:23:44,335 --> 00:23:46,294
Here's the keys.
494
00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:49,123
A beautiful horse.
495
00:23:52,518 --> 00:23:54,694
I don't know
what to say, Radar.
496
00:23:54,737 --> 00:23:56,609
I want my money back.
497
00:23:56,652 --> 00:23:58,393
In American, and not
that stuff I paid you.
498
00:23:58,437 --> 00:23:59,699
Shh.
499
00:24:03,746 --> 00:24:05,835
He can't be more
than four years old.
500
00:24:05,879 --> 00:24:07,620
Pretty nice, Radar.
501
00:24:07,663 --> 00:24:09,883
At least I'll get
to take care of him.
502
00:24:11,537 --> 00:24:12,886
This calls for a drink.
503
00:24:12,929 --> 00:24:14,017
At least.
504
00:24:16,759 --> 00:24:17,934
RADAR:
Sorry about that, sir.
505
00:24:17,978 --> 00:24:19,588
That's disgusting!
506
00:24:19,632 --> 00:24:22,461
Son, to me,
that's a tip-toe
through the tulips.
507
00:24:26,290 --> 00:24:27,770
Good boy.
508
00:24:33,384 --> 00:24:36,387
MAN [over P.A.]:
Attention, all personnel.
Incoming wounded.
509
00:24:36,431 --> 00:24:38,041
Both shifts to O.R.
on the double.
510
00:24:38,085 --> 00:24:40,217
Incoming wounded.
511
00:24:40,261 --> 00:24:41,697
Let's get 'em,
boys and girls!
512
00:24:41,741 --> 00:24:43,220
Let's get 'em!
513
00:25:06,113 --> 00:25:08,898
♪♪ [theme]
36541
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
