Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:05,572
Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!
2
00:00:05,660 --> 00:00:08,174
Come and watch pikeys making a mess
3
00:00:08,260 --> 00:00:11,855
of the lives they were given by
'im upstairs...
4
00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:14,898
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
5
00:00:14,980 --> 00:00:16,095
Wicked!
6
00:00:16,180 --> 00:00:17,499
Piss off!
7
00:00:17,580 --> 00:00:21,368
What sounds on Earth
could ever replace
8
00:00:21,460 --> 00:00:24,497
kids needing money
or wives in your face?
9
00:00:24,580 --> 00:00:26,935
Cos this, people reckon -
me included -
10
00:00:27,020 --> 00:00:29,488
is why pubs and drugs
11
00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:31,172
were kindly invented...
12
00:00:31,260 --> 00:00:33,774
To calm us all down
and stop us going mental.
13
00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:38,570
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
14
00:00:38,660 --> 00:00:44,815
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes...
15
00:00:44,900 --> 00:00:46,379
You sit on our head,
16
00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:49,133
but... you pay the taxes.
17
00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:50,619
CHEERING
18
00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:53,373
Imagine Britain
without Chatsworth buccaneers
19
00:00:53,460 --> 00:00:56,691
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer, eh?
20
00:00:56,780 --> 00:00:58,259
Eh!
21
00:00:58,340 --> 00:01:02,094
Make poverty history.
Cheaper drugs now!
22
00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:07,049
Make poverty history!
Cheaper drugs now!
23
00:01:07,140 --> 00:01:08,459
CHUCKLES
24
00:01:08,540 --> 00:01:12,169
Scatter! Party!
25
00:01:17,020 --> 00:01:19,488
(Frank) 'I've sounded out
loads of blokes on this.
26
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:23,653
'99% of married men with families
have fantasized
27
00:01:23,740 --> 00:01:27,016
'about said wives and families
being killed.
28
00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:31,378
'Suddenly, instantly,
leaving former married man free,
29
00:01:31,460 --> 00:01:34,293
'single, unencumbered.
30
00:01:34,380 --> 00:01:36,336
'Harmless dreaming.
31
00:01:36,420 --> 00:01:38,615
'A necessary outlet.
32
00:01:38,700 --> 00:01:41,897
'You've got to have a fantasy life.
33
00:01:41,980 --> 00:01:46,178
'If you didn't have an alternative
world where everything went your way
34
00:01:46,260 --> 00:01:49,536
'and Kate Moss tickled your balls
with a feather, then you'd only have
35
00:01:49,620 --> 00:01:53,977
'grim, grey, turgid, hopeless pisspot reality
36
00:01:54,060 --> 00:01:57,575
'and we'd be throwing
ourselves off bridges like lemmings.
37
00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:59,059
'Well, I would.'
38
00:01:59,780 --> 00:02:01,930
Mandy, can I take Katie to the park?
39
00:02:02,020 --> 00:02:03,578
Third time this week?
40
00:02:03,660 --> 00:02:05,093
Yeah, we have a laugh.
41
00:02:05,180 --> 00:02:06,852
In't that right, Katie?
42
00:02:06,940 --> 00:02:10,137
Be brill, going on swings and shit.
43
00:02:10,220 --> 00:02:12,131
Watch her. Park's a canine sewer.
44
00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:16,368
(Go down, that's it. All the way. Go down.)
45
00:02:16,460 --> 00:02:18,416
Why are you really
taking her to the park?
46
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:19,694
Me and Katie are bezzies.
47
00:02:21,860 --> 00:02:23,452
- What colour's her hair?
- Get off, you dick.
48
00:02:23,540 --> 00:02:26,293
- You don't even know!
- Blonde. Blonde.
49
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:27,369
The bab is a giant.
50
00:02:27,460 --> 00:02:29,451
They've got to induce.
51
00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:31,292
You can only gobble so much madras.
52
00:02:31,380 --> 00:02:32,699
Give them a bell.
53
00:02:32,780 --> 00:02:35,248
Can you do it? It sounds
better coming from a bloke.
54
00:02:35,340 --> 00:02:37,296
They pay more attention.
55
00:02:37,380 --> 00:02:39,655
STAMMERS
56
00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:42,208
...It's phones.
No, it's not me, babe.
57
00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:43,255
Oh!
58
00:02:43,340 --> 00:02:45,695
Oh...
59
00:02:45,780 --> 00:02:46,815
Don't give me the bug-eyed look.
60
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,368
I'm coming to the fucking bullfight.
What more do you want?
61
00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:50,973
Don't piss her about.
62
00:02:51,060 --> 00:02:52,095
You know you'll go missing.
63
00:02:52,180 --> 00:02:53,533
RUMBLING
64
00:02:53,620 --> 00:02:54,689
Earthquake.
65
00:02:54,780 --> 00:02:56,736
Third one this week.
CAR ALARMS BLARE
66
00:02:56,820 --> 00:02:58,890
Rubbish-point-crap
on the Richter scale.
67
00:02:58,980 --> 00:03:02,495
The world stops on its axis at
Dad claiming he'll keep his word.
68
00:03:02,580 --> 00:03:04,536
You self-righteous little smart-arse.
69
00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:07,088
You're not too old to have your bollocks
kicked around your head, you know.
70
00:03:07,180 --> 00:03:08,329
Think you'll find I am.
71
00:03:09,020 --> 00:03:10,612
(Frank) Oh!
72
00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:16,018
- It's cold.
- I didn't know that.
73
00:03:17,460 --> 00:03:21,499
Sissy boy. Can't even
permanently fucking disfigure me.
74
00:03:23,780 --> 00:03:24,895
Yeah?
75
00:03:28,380 --> 00:03:32,134
Never call me "Dad" again.
You're the spawn of the devil.
76
00:03:32,220 --> 00:03:33,414
Why do you always bring that up?
77
00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:37,493
Because every day I'm reminded of it
by looking at your ugly fucking gob.
78
00:03:37,580 --> 00:03:40,572
Hey, if that's a lad, call it Ian.
79
00:03:40,660 --> 00:03:43,458
I've always thought that's
a good name for one of mine.
80
00:03:45,380 --> 00:03:46,813
You're a fucking waste!
81
00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:53,210
Cheers for putting a word in, Mum.
I can call you that, can't I?
82
00:04:00,420 --> 00:04:03,093
Nearly there. Come on, boy.
83
00:04:03,180 --> 00:04:06,729
20 more pence, you can do it.
Mm! Lovely fags.
84
00:04:06,820 --> 00:04:08,538
There you go, Frank.
85
00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:10,656
52p for your coat. Bargain.
86
00:04:10,740 --> 00:04:14,938
Most jocular. Shouldn't you be out
working towards a safer community?
87
00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:17,580
Day off. I keep this on
to scare the shoplifters.
88
00:04:17,660 --> 00:04:18,775
RUMBLING
89
00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:22,370
Another one.
90
00:04:23,780 --> 00:04:25,099
CARE ALARMS BLARE
91
00:04:27,140 --> 00:04:29,096
Fucking hell. How many more?
92
00:04:33,980 --> 00:04:36,574
They were all like,
"Ooh! What were that?"
93
00:04:36,660 --> 00:04:38,491
Oh, yeah. Blitz spirit.
94
00:04:38,580 --> 00:04:41,652
People all together as one as
the Earth conspires against us
95
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:43,617
by going on short spin cycle.
96
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:47,579
Tsunami from that wouldn't knock
a digestive crumb off a cup of tea.
97
00:04:47,660 --> 00:04:50,049
Where is the almighty hand of God?
98
00:04:50,140 --> 00:04:53,212
Pointing at you, shouting "thief".
99
00:04:53,300 --> 00:04:54,289
What?
100
00:04:54,380 --> 00:04:57,577
- How do you know?
- He's been left on his own for five seconds.
101
00:04:57,660 --> 00:04:59,776
What else would he fucking do?
102
00:04:59,860 --> 00:05:01,179
(Yvonne) Waste.
103
00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:05,378
Well, that would appear to
be the received opinion.
104
00:05:05,460 --> 00:05:07,212
It is our duty to oppose it.
105
00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:12,455
I paid for them.
106
00:05:23,340 --> 00:05:24,534
KATIE GURGLES
107
00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:32,698
Yeah, it's great that, Katie.
108
00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:38,451
Is there anything I can do?
109
00:05:38,540 --> 00:05:39,814
Could you give us a foot massage?
110
00:05:39,900 --> 00:05:43,495
I meant a cup of tea or whatever.
111
00:05:43,580 --> 00:05:44,933
Christ's sake. Not for long.
112
00:05:49,540 --> 00:05:51,656
You've had all of us,
you're going to have another,
113
00:05:51,740 --> 00:05:52,695
and I feel like the fucking parent.
114
00:05:52,780 --> 00:05:57,729
How's that? It's going to be me
that makes it up with Dad, if we do.
115
00:05:57,820 --> 00:06:00,414
Who looks after me?
116
00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:02,491
Shouldn't it be you?
117
00:06:02,580 --> 00:06:04,138
We all make mistakes.
118
00:06:06,140 --> 00:06:08,131
I've done me best.
119
00:06:08,220 --> 00:06:09,414
Your best is shit.
120
00:06:10,540 --> 00:06:11,609
Get off!
121
00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:25,055
Sorry, Frank, you have to go outside.
Smoking ban.
122
00:06:25,140 --> 00:06:27,813
We lasted as long as we could
but the twats are on to us.
123
00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:31,256
The pub's been burnt down.
What harm can I do?
124
00:06:31,340 --> 00:06:32,932
Get us a big fine.
125
00:06:33,020 --> 00:06:35,454
Put us out of business.
We've been shot.
126
00:06:35,540 --> 00:06:36,939
You sell fucking Es.
127
00:06:37,020 --> 00:06:40,456
Nobody ever dies of
secondary tripping.
128
00:06:40,540 --> 00:06:42,258
I'm the only tosser here.
129
00:06:44,900 --> 00:06:47,858
No! I say no.
Someone's got to make a stand.
130
00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:51,330
Custer, Davy Crockett,
the kid with his dick in the dyke.
131
00:06:51,420 --> 00:06:53,695
Add Frank Gallagher to that list.
132
00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:56,578
I will not be cowed.
133
00:06:56,660 --> 00:06:58,491
Moo.
134
00:06:58,860 --> 00:07:00,452
RUMBLING
135
00:07:01,340 --> 00:07:02,295
...What?
136
00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:05,295
Oh!
137
00:07:07,340 --> 00:07:08,614
Oh, my God, you've burst.
138
00:07:14,020 --> 00:07:15,453
Shit.
139
00:07:15,540 --> 00:07:18,373
The bastard will sue our tits off.
140
00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:21,294
Is it on its way?
141
00:07:21,380 --> 00:07:25,578
Well, a gallon of water breaking
out the fanny is a definite sign.
142
00:07:25,660 --> 00:07:26,615
Don't say "fanny".
143
00:07:26,700 --> 00:07:27,815
Debbie, forget the drill.
144
00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:29,572
Go and grab your dad
and tell him bab is imminent.
145
00:07:29,660 --> 00:07:32,413
I'll go. It's better if Debbie stays.
146
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:34,411
- No, Debbie go.
- But...
147
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:35,455
She's too young.
148
00:07:35,540 --> 00:07:38,373
That is my decision as a parent.
149
00:07:38,460 --> 00:07:40,416
See. I do make 'em.
150
00:07:42,540 --> 00:07:44,132
That's it. Great.
151
00:07:44,220 --> 00:07:45,972
Fuck.
152
00:07:46,060 --> 00:07:49,370
We were going to call. Your dad's
had a fall. Just a bit of a bump.
153
00:07:49,460 --> 00:07:50,813
How?
154
00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:52,731
Happened out here.
155
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:55,050
Dad? Is he going to be all right?
156
00:07:55,140 --> 00:07:56,937
Let's just get him to hospital first.
157
00:08:06,860 --> 00:08:09,852
Keep hold, Katie. Katie, keep hold.
158
00:08:09,940 --> 00:08:13,057
All right, Carl? Hello, Katie.
159
00:08:13,140 --> 00:08:14,858
Chicken...
160
00:08:14,940 --> 00:08:16,851
RUMBLING
161
00:08:18,740 --> 00:08:20,890
Fuckin' hell.
162
00:08:20,980 --> 00:08:24,529
Bindy.
I was hoping you'd be here.
163
00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:26,690
How's our pretty girl? Eh?
164
00:08:26,780 --> 00:08:29,817
You're well good
bringing her here all the time.
165
00:08:32,020 --> 00:08:32,975
Any news on her mum?
166
00:08:33,060 --> 00:08:36,177
No, she's still missing.
167
00:08:38,540 --> 00:08:40,974
Hello, darling.
168
00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:48,298
- Oi, I'm trying to watch this.
- I want to talk.
169
00:08:48,380 --> 00:08:50,496
Here we go. You're going to dump us.
170
00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:51,535
No, I'm not.
171
00:08:51,620 --> 00:08:53,850
- Why d'you say that?
172
00:08:54,940 --> 00:08:56,373
Do you not think we're solid then?
173
00:08:56,460 --> 00:09:01,170
Yeah, course I do. I... I just think
you're going to dump us sometimes.
174
00:09:02,980 --> 00:09:04,459
What do you want to talk about?
175
00:09:04,540 --> 00:09:06,417
Doesn't matter.
176
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:08,013
Come on...
177
00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:09,931
Another brew.
178
00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:18,016
I know what you've done for
our Shane and I'm grateful.
179
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:19,931
He's a different boy.
He needed to grow up.
180
00:09:20,020 --> 00:09:22,932
But when you do move on,
don't just disappear.
181
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,976
Speak to him first.
182
00:09:25,060 --> 00:09:27,210
What?
183
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,210
Why am I about to flit?
184
00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:32,134
Because we know you
better than you do.
185
00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:36,568
All right. In a bit.
186
00:09:38,140 --> 00:09:39,653
- You all right?
- I've gotta go.
187
00:09:39,740 --> 00:09:41,617
It's my dad.
He's on the way to hospital.
188
00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:43,019
Shit, Katie.
189
00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:44,419
I'll look after her.
190
00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:48,455
If you want,
I'll give you my address.
191
00:09:52,340 --> 00:09:54,058
Yeah... OK.
192
00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:01,053
- There you go.
- Cheers, Bindy.
193
00:10:01,140 --> 00:10:02,334
You saved my life.
194
00:10:05,940 --> 00:10:07,498
Come on, Katie.
195
00:10:11,340 --> 00:10:13,934
30 minutes from entry desk to bed.
Only beaten our own record!
196
00:10:14,020 --> 00:10:16,056
What's wrong with him?
197
00:10:16,140 --> 00:10:17,175
He's in a coma.
198
00:10:17,260 --> 00:10:18,454
How long for?
199
00:10:18,540 --> 00:10:21,100
Coma is as coma does.
200
00:10:21,180 --> 00:10:22,818
An hour. Years.
201
00:10:23,940 --> 00:10:25,498
Probably not years.
202
00:10:25,580 --> 00:10:28,538
Give him a few hours,
we'll dob him through X-ray.
203
00:10:28,620 --> 00:10:29,848
Are you really a doctor?
204
00:10:29,940 --> 00:10:31,009
Course, why?
205
00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:32,658
They're either foreign or posh.
206
00:10:32,740 --> 00:10:34,890
I am posh. "Awesome".
207
00:10:36,780 --> 00:10:39,294
My mum's gone into labour.
Shall we tell her about him?
208
00:10:39,380 --> 00:10:41,655
Never give bad news to a woman
in the throes. I learned that from my ex.
209
00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:43,890
Eh!
210
00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:45,776
Suit yourself.
211
00:10:45,860 --> 00:10:46,895
How is he?
212
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:50,017
Still unconscious.
There must be stuff we can do.
213
00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:51,897
Coma crap. Talk to him.
214
00:10:51,980 --> 00:10:54,574
Surround him with objects that he likes.
215
00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:57,049
You never know-know
until you give it a go-go.
216
00:10:59,060 --> 00:11:00,015
Dr Dickhead.
217
00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:02,660
- Do you need me here?
- Why?
218
00:11:02,740 --> 00:11:03,855
I panicked. I left Katie
in the park with a girl.
219
00:11:03,940 --> 00:11:05,009
What? Who?
220
00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:06,010
Bindy.
221
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:09,490
You stupid cock. Go and get her.
222
00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:21,409
- Hiya.
- Doctor says not to tell Mum.
223
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:22,455
Why not?
224
00:11:22,540 --> 00:11:24,815
Because she'll go mental.
Are you coming?
225
00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:26,299
I can't. She's gonna drop.
226
00:11:26,380 --> 00:11:27,699
I'm staying here till he wakes up.
227
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:31,210
Put the phone to his ear, close.
228
00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:35,489
All right, Dad. I mean Frank.
229
00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:37,411
What do I say? Wake up?
230
00:11:38,620 --> 00:11:41,976
I could say that any day of the week,
won't make no difference then either.
231
00:11:42,740 --> 00:11:45,379
We don't get on.
I'm not what you want in a son.
232
00:11:45,460 --> 00:11:47,416
I'm not your son
233
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:49,855
and you're not my dad.
234
00:11:49,940 --> 00:11:52,500
Oh, Mum's in labour.
235
00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:55,292
If it's yours.
236
00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:57,940
Have they found him yet?
237
00:11:58,020 --> 00:11:59,294
No.
238
00:12:03,420 --> 00:12:05,331
Shit. Nurse!
239
00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:20,534
Look, see. There.
240
00:12:21,580 --> 00:12:25,493
That's nothing, my dear. He'll be
back with us before you know it.
241
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:29,333
...Bindy. About so high.
242
00:12:29,420 --> 00:12:31,650
Quite fit. About medium to large...
243
00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:33,298
Proper round tits
with just a hint of nip.
244
00:12:33,380 --> 00:12:34,893
What does her face look like?
245
00:12:34,980 --> 00:12:37,130
She's...
246
00:12:38,260 --> 00:12:40,012
(Muffled speech)
247
00:12:40,100 --> 00:12:42,660
Sort of average looking.
248
00:12:42,740 --> 00:12:45,174
Don't know.
Sorry, mate. Ain't got a clue.
249
00:12:45,260 --> 00:12:48,013
Her tits are fucking fantastic.
250
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,772
Someone's got to remember them.
251
00:12:49,860 --> 00:12:51,339
Come on, lads!
252
00:12:55,300 --> 00:12:57,530
- What are they?
- They said bring him stuff he likes.
253
00:12:57,740 --> 00:12:59,139
- I can't think of anything else.
- Where did you get 'em?
254
00:12:59,220 --> 00:13:00,699
Gabby on reception.
255
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:04,974
What do we do?
256
00:13:05,780 --> 00:13:06,769
Wait.
257
00:13:08,780 --> 00:13:09,974
Harder!
258
00:13:10,060 --> 00:13:11,573
My thumbs are murder.
259
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:14,538
There'll be murder if you stop.
Can you ring Debbie again?
260
00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:17,293
What's the point?
He's not going to come.
261
00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:21,259
He lets everyone down.
Accept that. Give birth.
262
00:13:21,340 --> 00:13:23,615
No. He said he'd be here
and he will be here.
263
00:13:26,820 --> 00:13:28,617
Do you think I'm still the youngest?
264
00:13:30,860 --> 00:13:34,011
Mum's had loads of kids. She could
probably drop another in her sleep.
265
00:13:36,620 --> 00:13:38,258
He needs us here. I'm staying.
266
00:13:38,340 --> 00:13:42,299
So am I then. Why do girls
wear make-up and perfume?
267
00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:45,498
Because they're ugly and they smell.
268
00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:49,611
- Do you want some?
- Um...
269
00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:51,372
He's bleeding again.
270
00:13:51,460 --> 00:13:54,452
He's going to have all sorts
of involuntary actions.
271
00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:56,337
Smiling and that.
272
00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:58,217
We're just to ignore
him unless his eyes open.
273
00:13:58,300 --> 00:13:59,699
What do we talk to him about?
274
00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:04,098
Tell him stuff about the family.
What you talk about normally.
275
00:14:04,180 --> 00:14:06,569
I never talk to him normally.
276
00:14:06,660 --> 00:14:08,139
All right. Here's your chance.
277
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:13,854
Dad, every night when he thinks
I'm sleeping, Carl has a wank.
278
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,293
Is that normal?
279
00:14:15,380 --> 00:14:16,699
Oh, he's going to wake up now.
280
00:14:20,620 --> 00:14:21,575
Oh!
281
00:14:21,660 --> 00:14:23,412
Midwife should be here by now.
282
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:25,172
Maybe she got held up or something.
283
00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:32,253
How long will it be?
284
00:14:32,340 --> 00:14:34,058
How should I know?
285
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:35,778
Don't we time the contractions?
286
00:14:35,860 --> 00:14:38,579
If you know so much about it,
why don't you deliver it?
287
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:42,255
Let's go somewhere with white coats
and machinery that beeps.
288
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:44,535
It's not like you're going
to get turned on, is it?
289
00:14:44,620 --> 00:14:45,689
You're my mum.
290
00:14:45,780 --> 00:14:47,418
Yeah, I'm a woman.
291
00:14:48,860 --> 00:14:50,259
I've known you were
that way since you were six.
292
00:14:50,340 --> 00:14:52,058
You know I'm gay?
293
00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:53,129
That's what I said.
294
00:14:53,220 --> 00:14:54,369
You didn't say that.
Why didn't you mention it?
295
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,291
It's none of my business.
296
00:14:56,380 --> 00:15:00,851
Anyway, you didn't fee!
The need to share, so why should I?
297
00:15:00,940 --> 00:15:05,616
It's starting again.
Can you rub my back for me?
298
00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:07,019
- Katie and Carl back?
- No.
299
00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:10,251
Has he called?
He's not answering his mobi.
300
00:15:10,340 --> 00:15:13,696
I don't know where he is.
We're pretty busy here, Mandy.
301
00:15:24,660 --> 00:15:26,218
Is he a nurse or doctor?
302
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:28,939
Nurse, they're just chatting.
303
00:15:29,020 --> 00:15:32,217
If he was a doctor
they'd be crawling up his arse.
304
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,375
I'd never be a male nurse.
305
00:15:36,460 --> 00:15:38,894
Why not? It's not gay.
306
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:43,610
I know it isn't but you spend
all day shaving men's pubes off.
307
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:45,099
Who told you that?
308
00:15:45,180 --> 00:15:47,296
Gabby on reception.
309
00:15:48,820 --> 00:15:52,051
I can't find her.
The address Bindy gave is a wreck.
310
00:15:52,140 --> 00:15:54,893
No-one lives there.
What am I going to do?
311
00:15:54,980 --> 00:15:57,175
I've bloody lost Katie.
Mandy's going to wazz off the scale.
312
00:15:57,260 --> 00:16:00,570
(Shut upl) Right, this girl.
What do you know about her?
313
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:01,172
Nothing.
314
00:16:02,260 --> 00:16:03,579
Her name. Bindy.
315
00:16:03,660 --> 00:16:05,252
What does she look like?
316
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:06,978
She's sort of...
317
00:16:07,060 --> 00:16:08,254
(Muffled) Any news on her mum?
318
00:16:09,820 --> 00:16:12,380
I'm rubbish at descriptions.
She's just normal.
319
00:16:12,460 --> 00:16:13,973
She stole a kid.
320
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:15,288
It could be a mistake.
321
00:16:15,380 --> 00:16:17,052
She gave you a false address.
322
00:16:17,140 --> 00:16:18,937
Do you think she'll hurt her?
323
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:20,658
Don't think so.
324
00:16:20,740 --> 00:16:22,696
She seems to really love kids.
325
00:16:22,780 --> 00:16:23,690
In a good way.
326
00:16:23,780 --> 00:16:27,819
I'll ring Tom. But you're
going to have to tell Mandy.
327
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:29,015
She'll kill me.
328
00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:31,091
Yeah, you deserve it.
329
00:16:33,140 --> 00:16:34,095
Yeah...
330
00:16:34,180 --> 00:16:36,091
I'll wipe it off.
331
00:16:45,060 --> 00:16:46,539
Where is she?
332
00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:49,133
What does she look like?
333
00:16:53,340 --> 00:16:54,534
(Muffled) Any news on her mum?
334
00:16:56,020 --> 00:16:58,375
Pink top. She's got a pink top.
335
00:16:58,460 --> 00:17:01,736
Every girl in 10 miles is
wearing a fucking pink top.
336
00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:03,412
What if she's changed her clothes?
337
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:04,774
Let's do him.
338
00:17:04,860 --> 00:17:05,975
I'm the only one
that will recognise her.
339
00:17:06,060 --> 00:17:07,493
You don't know fuck.
340
00:17:07,580 --> 00:17:08,217
I will if I see her.
341
00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:10,416
If Katie's been hurt, I'll kill him.
342
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,331
I don't think she'd hurt her.
She really liked her.
343
00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:14,411
That's the reason I took
her in the first place.
344
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:16,172
You used our Katie as bait!
345
00:17:16,260 --> 00:17:17,898
Maguire?
346
00:17:21,020 --> 00:17:23,932
- OK. We'll take over. Police matter.
- We didn't call you. It's a Maguire matter.
347
00:17:24,020 --> 00:17:27,092
We'll drive him around.
See if we can find her. Come on.
348
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:29,410
Come with us, Carl.
349
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:31,297
What are we doing?
Fucking get out looking!
350
00:17:31,380 --> 00:17:34,531
Move! Split up.
Call everybody you know. Go!
351
00:17:37,020 --> 00:17:39,090
Come here, love.
352
00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:42,895
Snap! That was mine.
353
00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:44,538
Cheat!
354
00:17:44,620 --> 00:17:47,339
RAPID BEEPING
Mine did.
355
00:17:47,420 --> 00:17:48,853
- Shit.
- What?
356
00:17:50,740 --> 00:17:52,298
- What?
- That noise.
357
00:17:52,380 --> 00:17:53,415
CONTINUOUS BEEP
358
00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:54,455
What?
359
00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:56,292
It just stopped his heart.
360
00:18:00,060 --> 00:18:01,334
We've killed him.
361
00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:03,529
Nurse!
362
00:18:05,300 --> 00:18:06,255
Nurse!
363
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:12,091
Come on. Don't do this to me. Clear!
364
00:18:12,180 --> 00:18:14,489
Come on. Talk to me. Talk to me.
Come on. Clear!
365
00:18:18,340 --> 00:18:21,218
Sorry, love.
Give you a scare?
366
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:22,415
No harm done.
367
00:18:23,780 --> 00:18:25,179
Always falling off.
368
00:18:25,260 --> 00:18:27,012
BEEPING REGULATES
369
00:18:28,820 --> 00:18:30,890
- What were you doing with them?
- Nothing.
370
00:18:34,260 --> 00:18:35,329
Can you smell burning?
371
00:18:35,420 --> 00:18:37,297
No.
372
00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:43,458
- (Tom) Is that her there?
- (Carl) I don't know!
373
00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:47,658
You've got to do better than this, Carl.
Please. She's got Katie.
374
00:18:47,740 --> 00:18:51,449
- I've got like a mental block.
- You're not helping yourself here.
375
00:18:51,540 --> 00:18:54,100
Fuck off, you.
I still think you're a paedo.
376
00:18:54,180 --> 00:18:57,775
Carll You ever heard
the phrase police brutality?
377
00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:01,372
Is this normal?
378
00:19:01,460 --> 00:19:04,418
As far as I can remember.
I've blotted most of it out.
379
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:06,252
I'm not surprised.
380
00:19:06,340 --> 00:19:08,058
Horror show.
381
00:19:08,860 --> 00:19:09,690
Ooh.
382
00:19:11,340 --> 00:19:13,695
How did you know?
I barely knew myself.
383
00:19:13,780 --> 00:19:18,456
There was something
different about you.
384
00:19:18,540 --> 00:19:21,054
You weren't like Lip,
all bustle and breakages. You were...
385
00:19:21,140 --> 00:19:23,335
Don't say sensitive.
386
00:19:23,420 --> 00:19:26,253
No, not just that.
387
00:19:26,340 --> 00:19:28,456
I am your mother.
388
00:19:28,540 --> 00:19:32,692
I did think about you and how you'd be.
389
00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:33,929
I did!
390
00:19:34,020 --> 00:19:36,580
I'm surprised you haven't moved on.
391
00:19:36,660 --> 00:19:38,298
I might never live in a family again.
392
00:19:39,900 --> 00:19:40,935
Oh...
393
00:19:41,020 --> 00:19:43,739
Ooh, here comes another one.
394
00:19:43,820 --> 00:19:46,459
They must have sent
another midwife by now.
395
00:19:46,540 --> 00:19:48,496
Here you are, mate.
396
00:19:52,820 --> 00:19:54,572
Can't find 'em.
397
00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:56,696
No one's coming. We're on our own.
398
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,498
Please, let's go to the hospital.
399
00:19:58,580 --> 00:20:00,298
No, not till Frank gets here.
400
00:20:00,380 --> 00:20:02,940
I want to do it proper this time.
401
00:20:03,020 --> 00:20:04,533
I want both parents there.
402
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,850
I want a real start for the baby.
403
00:20:15,220 --> 00:20:17,973
- Is that an involuntary reaction?
- Probably claim that.
404
00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:25,494
Is it gone?
405
00:20:25,580 --> 00:20:26,535
You look, you're the oldest.
406
00:20:26,620 --> 00:20:28,770
You're going to be a bloke.
You look.
407
00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:29,656
Safe.
408
00:20:33,660 --> 00:20:34,888
Not around this aftie.
409
00:20:34,980 --> 00:20:36,811
- Eh?
- Things to do.
410
00:20:36,900 --> 00:20:38,891
Are you all right, love?
Do you need a friendly ear?
411
00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:42,134
Nose out, Lillian.
412
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:50,734
- Are you helping?
- What?
413
00:20:50,820 --> 00:20:52,776
- Looking for Katie.
- Who?
414
00:20:52,860 --> 00:20:54,452
Our Mandy's baby.
415
00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:55,939
Mandy's got a baby?
416
00:20:56,020 --> 00:20:58,978
Yes. You've seen her loads of times.
417
00:20:59,060 --> 00:21:00,413
What's happened?
418
00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:02,297
Some girl's gone off with her.
419
00:21:02,380 --> 00:21:03,859
Fuck. That's fucking well sick.
420
00:21:03,940 --> 00:21:07,137
What you doing anyway?
I thought you was on a double shift.
421
00:21:07,220 --> 00:21:10,895
GP check-up. I go all the time,
sparing you the full facts.
422
00:21:10,980 --> 00:21:13,175
I've got to go. See you in a bit.
423
00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:19,494
Want a glass of water?
424
00:21:19,580 --> 00:21:20,933
And that's it, gone?
425
00:21:21,020 --> 00:21:25,093
You can come back for a
check-up afterwards if you want.
426
00:21:25,180 --> 00:21:27,136
You always this helpful?
427
00:21:27,220 --> 00:21:30,292
Or are you specially keen to
make sure I don't drop one?
428
00:21:30,380 --> 00:21:32,371
We treat everyone the same.
429
00:21:32,460 --> 00:21:33,449
It's your decision.
430
00:21:40,100 --> 00:21:42,091
How long can this go on for?
431
00:21:42,180 --> 00:21:43,499
Oh, fucking days.
432
00:21:44,540 --> 00:21:46,895
Days? Piss off.
433
00:21:46,980 --> 00:21:48,493
I'm knackered.
It must be ready to come out.
434
00:21:48,580 --> 00:21:50,969
Yeah, it is.
435
00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:53,176
- I'm holding it in.
- What?
436
00:21:53,260 --> 00:21:56,252
I meant it. It's not
coming out till Frank's here.
437
00:21:58,340 --> 00:22:00,854
He's in a coma in hospital.
438
00:22:02,460 --> 00:22:04,974
Well, why didn't you fucking tell me?
439
00:22:05,060 --> 00:22:06,413
The doctor said not to.
440
00:22:06,940 --> 00:22:09,090
Oh, get me fucking bag.
441
00:22:13,660 --> 00:22:16,128
I spy with my...
442
00:22:16,220 --> 00:22:17,972
We're not that desperate.
443
00:22:18,060 --> 00:22:19,732
Coming through!
SHE PANTS
444
00:22:19,820 --> 00:22:20,809
What is it?
445
00:22:20,900 --> 00:22:23,494
I had to tell her.
She wouldn't give birth till she got here.
446
00:22:23,580 --> 00:22:25,218
- I can't watch.
- Me neither.
447
00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:26,210
It's down to me again.
448
00:22:26,300 --> 00:22:29,975
- Get a nurse!
- Do you think you could wake up for the birth?
449
00:22:30,060 --> 00:22:31,539
(Ian) Look at the useless asshole.
He's out for the fucking count.
450
00:22:31,620 --> 00:22:33,417
(Monica) Don't talk about your dad like that!
451
00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:35,058
(Ian, echoing) He's not my dad...
452
00:22:44,220 --> 00:22:47,815
You're awake.
About fucking time, mate.
453
00:22:49,140 --> 00:22:51,017
Brekkeroo.
454
00:22:52,140 --> 00:22:53,368
What's with the City boy stripes?
455
00:22:53,460 --> 00:22:57,089
Fucking belting opportunity, mate.
Luck's in, Daddio.
456
00:22:57,180 --> 00:22:59,216
With your son by your side
we're going to rock the world.
457
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:03,018
Room at the trough for
all the little pigs.
458
00:23:03,100 --> 00:23:04,931
We need a chat once
you finish malingering.
459
00:23:08,860 --> 00:23:11,010
Five minutes R&R, then we teleport.
460
00:23:11,900 --> 00:23:14,130
Ready for your injection, nurse?
461
00:23:15,220 --> 00:23:16,892
...You're doing great.
462
00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:18,049
The baby's coming!
463
00:23:18,140 --> 00:23:19,573
Push.
464
00:23:23,100 --> 00:23:25,455
Now then, now then. How's about?
465
00:23:25,540 --> 00:23:28,577
How's about concentrating
on the main event? Me.
466
00:23:29,420 --> 00:23:30,933
Later.
467
00:23:32,900 --> 00:23:35,414
You're like a dog
with two fucking dicks.
468
00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:38,378
Do you know what you're looking at
apart from a fucking handsome devil?
469
00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:40,371
Shock me to my bones.
470
00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:43,736
Behold Svengali.
The showbiz entrepreneur.
471
00:23:43,820 --> 00:23:46,288
I sniff out the small acts,
promote them in clubs.
472
00:23:46,380 --> 00:23:49,213
Screw the girls, take all the money,
flog 'em on.
473
00:23:49,300 --> 00:23:50,972
Fucking licence to print, mate.
I'm wedged.
474
00:23:51,060 --> 00:23:52,015
Flower, Dad?
475
00:23:52,100 --> 00:23:54,489
Oh, thanks, Lola lovely.
476
00:23:54,580 --> 00:23:55,410
Fighting fit?
477
00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:58,776
Back to the best of myself, Lo.
The very best.
478
00:23:58,860 --> 00:24:02,136
That's the fucking spirit, our Dad.
479
00:24:02,220 --> 00:24:04,097
Can you do that any harder? Jesus.
480
00:24:04,180 --> 00:24:06,375
I'm straight off me deathbed here.
481
00:24:08,060 --> 00:24:09,288
Daddy's home.
482
00:24:09,380 --> 00:24:10,369
THEY WHOOP
483
00:24:12,260 --> 00:24:13,409
What's with the blankets?
484
00:24:13,500 --> 00:24:17,129
I'm sorry, Frank.
I've gone all insidey-outsidey again.
485
00:24:17,220 --> 00:24:19,939
Jesus Christ, Sheila-Monica.
486
00:24:20,020 --> 00:24:22,011
I told you.
You've got to stop it, babe.
487
00:24:22,100 --> 00:24:24,614
I've run out of special pills.
488
00:24:24,700 --> 00:24:26,895
She's cooked for you. I've tried it.
489
00:24:26,980 --> 00:24:28,652
A bloody gorgeous pie. Mm!
SHE FARTS
490
00:24:28,740 --> 00:24:30,378
Melty mega.
491
00:24:30,460 --> 00:24:32,337
I've done your
ironing for you, love.
492
00:24:32,420 --> 00:24:36,174
It's a tonic to see
all my girls lined up.
493
00:24:36,260 --> 00:24:37,534
Got any socks need mending?
494
00:24:37,620 --> 00:24:38,609
I could wash your hair.
495
00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:41,612
Give the man some space.
He's been in a coma.
496
00:24:41,700 --> 00:24:43,213
If that's not the fucking definition
497
00:24:43,300 --> 00:24:45,973
of deserving a pint,
I don't know what is.
498
00:24:46,060 --> 00:24:47,175
Can I come?
499
00:24:47,260 --> 00:24:49,615
Sorry, mate. You've still only got one arm.
500
00:24:49,700 --> 00:24:51,531
It's all that wanking. I warned you.
501
00:24:51,620 --> 00:24:53,451
It's worth an arm.
502
00:24:53,540 --> 00:24:54,734
Awww!
503
00:24:56,380 --> 00:24:58,814
Bye!
504
00:24:59,900 --> 00:25:01,618
Bye, Dad. Love you.
505
00:25:06,020 --> 00:25:07,692
LOUD BELCH
506
00:25:07,780 --> 00:25:09,259
Filled an 'ole.
507
00:25:10,820 --> 00:25:12,412
Scratched an itch.
508
00:25:17,060 --> 00:25:18,095
It's your fucking round.
509
00:25:18,180 --> 00:25:19,613
You're the best.
510
00:25:19,700 --> 00:25:20,894
Apart from your dad, of course.
511
00:25:20,980 --> 00:25:22,459
Thanks for that, Karen.
512
00:25:22,540 --> 00:25:24,098
It's always nice to be remembered.
513
00:25:27,460 --> 00:25:28,575
So what do you say?
514
00:25:30,260 --> 00:25:32,171
- What?
- To me being your manager.
515
00:25:32,260 --> 00:25:33,375
Managing what?
516
00:25:33,460 --> 00:25:35,815
- You really don't know?
- What?
517
00:25:35,900 --> 00:25:39,495
You're a talented guy.
With my help sky's the fucking minimum.
518
00:25:39,580 --> 00:25:41,810
Infinity's the limit. Pads!
519
00:25:41,900 --> 00:25:42,935
WHISTLES
520
00:25:44,460 --> 00:25:47,770
Who is the funniest guy
you've ever seen or met?
521
00:25:47,860 --> 00:25:52,980
I've seen Les Dawson, Tarby,
Fat Bernard, creepy Doddy, the lot.
522
00:25:53,060 --> 00:25:55,779
Funniest man I've ever met, Frank.
523
00:25:55,860 --> 00:25:57,054
Me?
524
00:25:57,140 --> 00:26:00,530
Without a doubt.
Frank Gallagher. You crack me up.
525
00:26:00,620 --> 00:26:02,212
Cheers, Pads. On your way.
526
00:26:02,300 --> 00:26:03,289
I'm funny?
527
00:26:03,380 --> 00:26:05,575
All you need to do is get on
stage and rant like a bastard.
528
00:26:05,660 --> 00:26:09,255
Try it out here.
Talent night tonight.
529
00:26:13,180 --> 00:26:17,810
Thank you, Chatsworth.
You've been a lovely audience!
530
00:26:17,900 --> 00:26:19,299
CHEERING AND WHISTLING
531
00:26:26,260 --> 00:26:27,739
Do you believe me now?
532
00:26:27,820 --> 00:26:32,132
I do! I do! That was the moment
I've been waiting for.
533
00:26:32,220 --> 00:26:36,179
I am finally... born.
534
00:26:36,260 --> 00:26:38,694
That's what it feels like,
like I've been born.
535
00:26:38,780 --> 00:26:41,613
Perspective, mate.
Don't blow it out your arse just yet.
536
00:26:41,700 --> 00:26:44,055
It's only The Jockey.
537
00:26:44,140 --> 00:26:45,812
Do we have a deal?
538
00:26:49,460 --> 00:26:54,295
We do.
I'm going to be a fucking star.
539
00:26:54,380 --> 00:26:56,689
Finally, recognition.
540
00:26:57,260 --> 00:26:58,534
Yeah!
541
00:27:01,820 --> 00:27:03,651
It's all down to you, Son.
542
00:27:06,660 --> 00:27:08,730
Keep pushing, Mum.
I can see its head.
543
00:27:08,820 --> 00:27:11,493
(Midwife) Keep pushing, you're doing well.
544
00:27:11,580 --> 00:27:14,253
- It's coming!
- One last push, Mum.
545
00:27:14,340 --> 00:27:16,410
You've gone stellar, haven't you?
Can't get away from you on the box.
546
00:27:16,500 --> 00:27:19,856
They're making a documentary
about you, aren't they?
547
00:27:19,940 --> 00:27:24,331
Thought he were clever but he were
nowt but a thieving, pikey twat.
548
00:27:24,420 --> 00:27:27,537
But smoked his own weight every week,
so what can you do, eh?
549
00:27:27,620 --> 00:27:34,412
Despite the booze, fags, drugs,
he does have surprisingly sweet breath.
550
00:27:34,500 --> 00:27:36,934
(Gruff male voice) For years
he's pretended I'm a man in drag.
551
00:27:37,020 --> 00:27:40,456
Bloody gay, I reckon.
Calls me Bob Selecta.
552
00:27:40,540 --> 00:27:42,610
Still, better than Phil Selecta.
553
00:27:44,580 --> 00:27:46,616
(Man) 'Day 88 in the house.'
554
00:27:46,700 --> 00:27:50,090
Elton's having a difficult
one though. A bit down.
555
00:27:50,180 --> 00:27:51,852
(Big Brother) 'Do you think that could
have anything to do with the fact
556
00:27:51,940 --> 00:27:53,851
'you called him a fat, bald gaylord? '
557
00:27:58,180 --> 00:28:01,138
(TV presenter) 'Let's see how Franky
fares in his tough fucker trial.'
558
00:28:03,540 --> 00:28:04,859
(Muffled) Get me out of here now!
559
00:28:11,540 --> 00:28:14,930
(Man) 'Doesn't his paso doble stand out? '
560
00:28:19,860 --> 00:28:22,499
This is where history began.
Talent night here.
561
00:28:24,100 --> 00:28:28,537
Pissed it. Acting all shit-faced.
562
00:28:28,620 --> 00:28:31,532
The irony is I don't drink that much.
You know, it's an act.
563
00:28:31,620 --> 00:28:34,532
You know, a persona.
564
00:28:34,620 --> 00:28:36,611
(Man) You've been very generous in
attributing a large portion of
565
00:28:36,700 --> 00:28:38,133
your success to your son, Ian.
566
00:28:38,220 --> 00:28:39,175
Mm.
567
00:28:39,260 --> 00:28:41,330
I believe you signed half
your earnings over to him.
568
00:28:41,420 --> 00:28:43,615
Sorry, can't talk about that.
569
00:28:43,700 --> 00:28:46,931
Oh, all right. Let's cut there.
570
00:28:47,020 --> 00:28:48,931
Big news, Daddio.
571
00:28:49,020 --> 00:28:51,011
What? Another triumph.
I get bored of them.
572
00:28:51,100 --> 00:28:52,931
Too fuckety-fuck it is.
573
00:28:53,020 --> 00:28:55,898
Adam Sandler's dropped out of
some shit film and they want you.
574
00:28:55,980 --> 00:28:57,652
Hollywood?
575
00:28:57,740 --> 00:28:59,253
Exactamundo.
576
00:28:59,340 --> 00:29:00,898
Globalisation.
577
00:29:00,980 --> 00:29:03,619
Everything we've ever hated is ours.
578
00:29:03,700 --> 00:29:05,895
You're fucking
Starbucks and McDonald's
579
00:29:05,980 --> 00:29:08,938
wrapped in a stream of pissed bollocks.
580
00:29:09,020 --> 00:29:11,818
I'm a franchise?
581
00:29:11,900 --> 00:29:13,856
A Frankise!
582
00:29:15,060 --> 00:29:20,339
Me and a line of sons reaching
round the world. My loins.
583
00:29:20,420 --> 00:29:23,139
Success!
584
00:29:23,220 --> 00:29:25,609
God, I got a good 'un when I got you.
585
00:29:28,780 --> 00:29:30,816
What's that?
I've rescued a little baby puppy.
586
00:29:30,900 --> 00:29:31,935
What the fuck for?
587
00:29:32,020 --> 00:29:33,658
Well, for us.
588
00:29:33,740 --> 00:29:37,096
We can't take it to America
because he's scared of flying too.
589
00:29:37,180 --> 00:29:39,774
(Monica, echoing) Please, I need you.
590
00:29:39,860 --> 00:29:43,455
- Monica needs you.
- Choose the real thing.
591
00:29:43,540 --> 00:29:46,577
Hold him Frank, it's real.
Choose the real thing.
592
00:29:46,660 --> 00:29:50,050
It isn't a choice. You signed this.
593
00:29:51,940 --> 00:29:53,578
I'm everything you wished for.
594
00:29:55,660 --> 00:29:56,854
That's a copy.
595
00:29:57,780 --> 00:29:58,735
What?
596
00:29:58,820 --> 00:30:00,048
You owe me money, Frank. Gotta pay.
597
00:30:03,700 --> 00:30:05,770
(Monica, echoing) I need you!
598
00:30:10,100 --> 00:30:12,216
I did say I was a handsome devil.
599
00:30:13,540 --> 00:30:17,294
But... But I'm your father. I made you.
600
00:30:17,380 --> 00:30:20,690
Not strictly true.
601
00:30:20,780 --> 00:30:24,295
No blood, as you never fucking
tire of reminding me.
602
00:30:24,380 --> 00:30:27,929
Choose us, Frank.
Take the puppy. Take it.
603
00:30:28,020 --> 00:30:29,738
Don't touch the puppy, Frank!
604
00:30:30,780 --> 00:30:32,577
Don't touch it.
Don't touch the puppy.
605
00:30:32,660 --> 00:30:33,729
Don't touch the puppy.
606
00:30:34,980 --> 00:30:36,379
Arghhh!
607
00:30:37,580 --> 00:30:39,013
He's awake.
608
00:30:42,540 --> 00:30:43,734
What's this?
609
00:30:49,740 --> 00:30:51,253
Where's its tail?
610
00:30:53,420 --> 00:30:55,251
It hasn't got a tail,
it's a little girl.
611
00:30:55,340 --> 00:30:57,171
Another one?
612
00:31:01,660 --> 00:31:02,979
You all right?
613
00:31:05,700 --> 00:31:07,133
I'm glad you were there.
614
00:31:10,060 --> 00:31:11,334
Did I faint?
615
00:31:12,740 --> 00:31:13,695
It weren't too bad.
616
00:31:13,780 --> 00:31:17,011
She's lying.
It were fucking horrible.
617
00:31:17,100 --> 00:31:18,453
She did really well.
618
00:31:19,540 --> 00:31:22,657
Lan was here for me.
619
00:31:22,740 --> 00:31:25,334
Will you say hello to
your little sis, Ian?
620
00:31:41,100 --> 00:31:44,217
Two hours. Two hours.
What if they've not found her.
621
00:31:44,300 --> 00:31:45,892
Stop. Look at what we know.
622
00:31:47,620 --> 00:31:49,531
It's a woman,
that's got to be good news.
623
00:31:49,620 --> 00:31:51,850
She likes Katie.
624
00:31:51,940 --> 00:31:54,738
She met her a few times.
Carl trusted her.
625
00:31:55,580 --> 00:32:00,370
Even he's not stupid enough to leave
her with a proper fucking headcase.
626
00:32:00,460 --> 00:32:01,575
You let him take her out.
627
00:32:01,660 --> 00:32:03,730
So it's my fault?
628
00:32:03,820 --> 00:32:06,459
No.
629
00:32:06,540 --> 00:32:11,819
You left Katie with him,
so he can't be that untrustworthy.
630
00:32:11,900 --> 00:32:13,333
She will be found.
631
00:32:25,900 --> 00:32:26,969
You got a light, love?
632
00:32:27,060 --> 00:32:28,379
Yes, somewhere.
633
00:32:31,460 --> 00:32:32,529
Here you go.
634
00:32:38,100 --> 00:32:40,819
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
635
00:32:42,060 --> 00:32:43,049
How old is she?
636
00:32:43,140 --> 00:32:44,653
Uh, three.
637
00:32:44,740 --> 00:32:46,492
What's your name, sweetie?
638
00:32:46,580 --> 00:32:48,696
She's called Gemma.
639
00:32:50,020 --> 00:32:51,578
I don't really like
people smoking round her.
640
00:32:51,660 --> 00:32:55,369
Yeah.
Apparently it's bad for you.
641
00:33:03,860 --> 00:33:06,135
Katie?
642
00:33:08,660 --> 00:33:10,730
She's massive.
643
00:33:10,820 --> 00:33:12,572
She looks about three months old.
644
00:33:12,660 --> 00:33:15,333
Can you go and get your mam, Debbie?
645
00:33:15,420 --> 00:33:16,933
I was going to get off.
646
00:33:17,020 --> 00:33:18,772
Can't Liam do it?
647
00:33:18,860 --> 00:33:20,088
Leaving your old dad?
648
00:33:20,180 --> 00:33:22,057
I'm seeing Tom.
649
00:33:22,140 --> 00:33:23,573
I'll get her.
650
00:33:27,700 --> 00:33:29,292
What are you going to call her?
651
00:33:29,380 --> 00:33:30,733
Stella.
652
00:33:32,660 --> 00:33:33,854
Good name.
653
00:33:33,940 --> 00:33:35,419
Pretty.
654
00:33:36,300 --> 00:33:38,860
Why don't you call her
Tenants Purple or Thunderbird?
655
00:33:38,940 --> 00:33:40,134
Fuck's sake, Dad.
656
00:33:40,220 --> 00:33:41,050
Not the beer.
657
00:33:41,140 --> 00:33:43,654
Jesus, I'm not that fucking deranged.
658
00:33:43,740 --> 00:33:46,254
Stella for "star".
659
00:33:47,700 --> 00:33:49,133
Our lickle star.
660
00:33:58,980 --> 00:34:01,699
- What's that for?
- Thanks for looking after your mam.
661
00:34:01,780 --> 00:34:03,372
It's appreciated.
662
00:34:07,060 --> 00:34:08,095
You're a good son.
663
00:34:12,340 --> 00:34:14,012
Sometimes I look at you and Mum
664
00:34:14,100 --> 00:34:17,410
and I can see
how you very nearly work.
665
00:34:17,500 --> 00:34:20,094
Bugger me. I fucking can't...
666
00:34:26,180 --> 00:34:30,253
Have you stopped?
You can't even fucking look after her.
667
00:34:30,340 --> 00:34:32,251
Look at the state. She's filthy.
668
00:34:33,900 --> 00:34:35,856
I just thought I could be a mum to her.
669
00:34:35,940 --> 00:34:37,214
Hers has run off.
670
00:34:37,300 --> 00:34:39,370
She hasn't run off.
She's desperate.
671
00:34:40,940 --> 00:34:42,896
She really looks
like my little sister.
672
00:34:42,980 --> 00:34:47,656
Don't tell me. She died in
a terrible fucking accident.
673
00:34:47,740 --> 00:34:49,173
We had a fire.
674
00:34:50,460 --> 00:34:51,529
(Fuck.)
675
00:34:55,420 --> 00:34:57,888
Is that true
or are you just some fucking nut?
676
00:34:57,980 --> 00:35:00,892
Of course it's true.
It's my sister.
677
00:35:02,500 --> 00:35:04,058
I didn't know what to do.
678
00:35:05,660 --> 00:35:07,537
At the time I wasn't thinking. I just...
679
00:35:07,620 --> 00:35:11,374
wrote our old address down
without thinking.
680
00:35:11,460 --> 00:35:13,610
And then...
681
00:35:13,700 --> 00:35:14,894
I'm sorry.
682
00:35:18,900 --> 00:35:20,492
I don't want you to drop your load,
683
00:35:20,580 --> 00:35:24,493
but her family are well fucking creative
when it comes to revenge.
684
00:35:24,580 --> 00:35:26,013
Get help.
685
00:35:26,100 --> 00:35:27,977
And get it a long way from here.
686
00:35:28,060 --> 00:35:29,015
I will.
687
00:35:33,060 --> 00:35:34,812
Quite nice really, isn't she?
688
00:35:36,420 --> 00:35:39,332
The girl didn't mean any harm.
I don't think.
689
00:35:40,980 --> 00:35:43,130
- Katie!
- (Mimi) Is she all right?
690
00:35:43,220 --> 00:35:44,255
She's lovely.
691
00:35:44,340 --> 00:35:45,773
Did you see the girl, Bindy?
692
00:35:45,860 --> 00:35:47,179
Yes.
693
00:35:47,260 --> 00:35:48,773
Can you give us a description?
694
00:35:48,860 --> 00:35:50,259
I can give you better than that.
695
00:35:51,380 --> 00:35:52,529
Got a photie.
696
00:35:53,460 --> 00:35:55,132
Go on, take a look.
697
00:35:55,220 --> 00:35:56,494
That her?
698
00:35:57,780 --> 00:35:59,133
You haven't got one with
more of her in, have you?
699
00:35:59,220 --> 00:36:00,209
Like what?
700
00:36:02,260 --> 00:36:04,694
More upper body.
701
00:36:07,460 --> 00:36:08,688
Fuck it. That's her, deffo.
702
00:36:13,580 --> 00:36:16,970
- Thank God.
- And Kelly.
703
00:36:17,060 --> 00:36:18,413
Some terrible things have
been said about this girl.
704
00:36:18,500 --> 00:36:19,728
Yeah, mainly by you.
705
00:36:19,820 --> 00:36:21,572
Shut up, dickless.
706
00:36:21,660 --> 00:36:24,891
And I'm sorry
but that's behind us now.
707
00:36:24,980 --> 00:36:28,131
This house will always be gratefu!
And always have a welcome for you.
708
00:36:28,220 --> 00:36:30,780
Ta. Ta.
709
00:36:30,860 --> 00:36:32,657
So what do we do with Carl?
710
00:36:32,740 --> 00:36:34,617
Don't do anything to him.
711
00:36:34,700 --> 00:36:37,089
We've got her back now
and that's all that matters.
712
00:36:37,180 --> 00:36:41,093
No, I meant what do we do with him?
Do we leave him there?
713
00:36:41,180 --> 00:36:42,977
I'm going to be sick!
714
00:36:45,660 --> 00:36:47,173
You can't fucking just leave me here!
715
00:36:49,740 --> 00:36:51,059
Help!
716
00:36:57,020 --> 00:36:58,419
How were check-up?
717
00:36:58,500 --> 00:37:00,809
- What?
- You went to t'doctors.
718
00:37:02,060 --> 00:37:04,255
- Oh, yeah. I'm fine.
- Bollocks.
719
00:37:05,460 --> 00:37:07,655
What are you lying for?
720
00:37:07,740 --> 00:37:09,219
Tell me.
721
00:37:13,340 --> 00:37:14,693
I was arranging an abortion.
722
00:37:16,180 --> 00:37:17,579
You can do it with a pill now.
723
00:37:17,660 --> 00:37:18,854
Is it mine?
724
00:37:18,940 --> 00:37:20,771
You're the only man I've been careless with.
725
00:37:20,860 --> 00:37:23,010
I haven't had any accidents
with anyone else.
726
00:37:23,100 --> 00:37:24,977
- Is it mine?
- Yes, it's fucking yours.
727
00:37:28,940 --> 00:37:30,259
Did you take it?
728
00:37:33,100 --> 00:37:34,135
No, not yet.
729
00:37:35,580 --> 00:37:39,493
Good. Fucking hell, Kelly.
We've got a tradition, a family tradition.
730
00:37:39,580 --> 00:37:42,253
Maguires, you knock a girl up
731
00:37:42,340 --> 00:37:45,093
and you stick by her, no matter what.
732
00:37:45,180 --> 00:37:46,169
What?
733
00:37:49,620 --> 00:37:52,180
Kelly... You're a...
734
00:37:54,060 --> 00:37:58,372
...A wave washed over my whole life
735
00:37:58,460 --> 00:38:00,690
and made it worth something.
736
00:38:02,740 --> 00:38:04,412
You know...
737
00:38:04,500 --> 00:38:06,377
- Shane?
- Shut up.
738
00:38:06,500 --> 00:38:08,411
I'd do anything for you.
739
00:38:10,020 --> 00:38:12,250
I worship you.
740
00:38:13,420 --> 00:38:15,251
I love you.
741
00:38:15,940 --> 00:38:18,852
I want us to have this baby.
742
00:38:23,900 --> 00:38:27,370
Oh, that's better! Full house. I was beginning
to think it was empty round here.
743
00:38:27,460 --> 00:38:29,018
Has it done anything yet?
744
00:38:29,100 --> 00:38:31,330
Yeah, she's give us
a tip on a horse
745
00:38:31,420 --> 00:38:33,888
and invited us round to the pub
to wet her head.
746
00:38:33,980 --> 00:38:38,576
Yeah? Joke. You don't realise
but your dad is a funny guy.
747
00:38:38,660 --> 00:38:39,775
Yeah, right.
748
00:38:39,860 --> 00:38:41,418
Come on, then. Gather round.
749
00:38:44,460 --> 00:38:46,132
And say hello...
750
00:38:46,220 --> 00:38:48,176
to Stella
751
00:38:48,260 --> 00:38:50,137
lana Gallagher.
752
00:38:50,220 --> 00:38:52,017
Lana?
753
00:38:54,500 --> 00:38:55,535
Oh!
754
00:38:58,140 --> 00:38:59,368
- Who wants to hold her?
- Me.
755
00:38:59,460 --> 00:39:00,495
OK.
756
00:39:04,660 --> 00:39:06,730
Good girl.
757
00:39:07,100 --> 00:39:08,089
Where are you off?
758
00:39:08,180 --> 00:39:10,410
Get changed. Can't go to
the pub like this, can I?
759
00:39:10,500 --> 00:39:12,058
I'll get my jacket.
760
00:39:12,140 --> 00:39:14,859
You're dumping her on us already?
Come back!
761
00:39:23,100 --> 00:39:24,294
LAUGHTER
762
00:39:27,900 --> 00:39:29,049
Mum, Dad.
763
00:39:30,220 --> 00:39:32,176
I'm up the chuff.
764
00:39:32,260 --> 00:39:34,251
CHEERING
765
00:39:35,420 --> 00:39:37,695
That'll be the making of you.
766
00:39:37,780 --> 00:39:39,338
- I'm delighted.
- Thank you.
767
00:39:40,860 --> 00:39:42,498
Did you hear that? Pregnant.
768
00:39:42,580 --> 00:39:43,535
That's how you do it.
769
00:39:44,820 --> 00:39:46,890
I'll be proud to be the
grandfather of your child.
770
00:39:46,980 --> 00:39:49,699
- What about the prossie stuff?
- What prossie stuff?
771
00:39:49,780 --> 00:39:51,771
And the drugs.
Shit.
772
00:39:51,860 --> 00:39:54,215
What drugs?
773
00:39:54,300 --> 00:39:57,451
Is there a Maguire tradition
if you knock a girl up?
774
00:39:57,540 --> 00:39:59,212
There is.
775
00:39:59,300 --> 00:40:01,530
Never give your real name.
776
00:40:12,060 --> 00:40:14,779
You fucking romantic bastard.
777
00:40:14,860 --> 00:40:17,010
Drinks. A celebration!
778
00:40:17,100 --> 00:40:19,056
Hey, we have had another little one.
779
00:40:19,140 --> 00:40:22,098
Is there anything you
wouldn't use to get a free drink?
780
00:40:22,180 --> 00:40:23,772
I have had a bang on the head.
781
00:40:25,700 --> 00:40:27,497
- Drinks are on the house tonight, Frank.
- First round.
782
00:40:27,580 --> 00:40:28,933
That'll do.
783
00:40:29,020 --> 00:40:30,089
Sorry.
784
00:40:30,180 --> 00:40:31,738
Watch where you're fucking going.
785
00:40:31,820 --> 00:40:34,414
I'm Kelly fucking Maguire, nearly.
786
00:40:38,220 --> 00:40:40,688
(Frank) Good evening, Chatsworth.
787
00:40:40,780 --> 00:40:45,934
As some of you may already know
we have become a father again.
788
00:40:46,020 --> 00:40:47,931
Thank you, thank you.
789
00:40:48,020 --> 00:40:52,571
Little Stella is over there
with the rest of my wonderful family.
790
00:40:52,660 --> 00:40:56,539
Liam and Debbie and Carl and Ian.
791
00:41:00,180 --> 00:41:04,219
And my wife Monica.
I could not be prouder...
792
00:41:04,300 --> 00:41:07,337
and I would like to take this opportunity
793
00:41:07,420 --> 00:41:10,651
of giving you my impersonation
of Stephen Hawking in the bath.
794
00:41:10,740 --> 00:41:12,378
GROANS
795
00:41:12,460 --> 00:41:15,497
For the universe is complete...
796
00:41:16,180 --> 00:41:17,579
Shut up.
797
00:41:17,660 --> 00:41:19,013
RUMBLING
798
00:41:20,540 --> 00:41:22,053
Fucking hell.
799
00:41:22,140 --> 00:41:24,449
Don't mock that man.
He's a fucking hero. Off.
800
00:41:26,060 --> 00:41:27,413
Bollocks.
801
00:41:27,500 --> 00:41:28,819
Party.
802
00:41:28,900 --> 00:41:30,379
Here you are.
803
00:41:30,460 --> 00:41:31,893
Little Stella.
804
00:41:31,980 --> 00:41:34,972
(All) Stella.
805
00:41:35,060 --> 00:41:38,052
Cheers... Dad.
806
00:41:40,700 --> 00:41:41,655
Dick.
807
00:41:41,740 --> 00:41:43,651
(Frank) 'Dick?
808
00:41:43,740 --> 00:41:46,095
'Oh, yeah, cheers.
809
00:41:46,180 --> 00:41:48,899
'All this nature versus
the other bugger's shite, bollocks.
810
00:41:48,980 --> 00:41:51,540
'Comes down to it, you know
you're a parent if you're being abused
811
00:41:51,620 --> 00:41:53,929
'and you don't mind.
Say anything.
812
00:41:54,020 --> 00:41:57,535
'Say the un-fucking-sayable
and carry on like sod all's happened.
813
00:41:57,620 --> 00:41:59,895
'That's family.
814
00:41:59,980 --> 00:42:03,052
'I'm Frank Gallagher
and I'm a fucking dick.
815
00:42:04,780 --> 00:42:10,730
'The colours of the rainbow
so pretty in the sky
816
00:42:10,820 --> 00:42:14,699
'Are there on the faces
of people going by
817
00:42:14,780 --> 00:42:21,458
'I see friends shaking hands saying,
"How do you do?"
818
00:42:21,540 --> 00:42:25,453
'They're really saying...
819
00:42:25,540 --> 00:42:30,056
'I hear babies crying
820
00:42:30,140 --> 00:42:31,778
'I watch them grow
821
00:42:31,860 --> 00:42:34,010
'They'll learn much more
822
00:42:34,100 --> 00:42:36,739
'Than I'll ever know... '
823
00:42:36,820 --> 00:42:38,492
Oi, Frank, put that out!
824
00:42:40,900 --> 00:42:41,855
(Fucking hell... )
825
00:42:41,940 --> 00:42:45,137
'And I think to myself
826
00:42:47,660 --> 00:42:55,499
'What a wonderful world
827
00:42:56,860 --> 00:43:02,298
'Yes, I think to myself
828
00:43:04,460 --> 00:43:20,935
'What a wonderful wor-r-r-rld. '
829
00:43:21,860 --> 00:43:23,134
'Thank you.'
830
00:43:43,740 --> 00:43:45,219
Get a good eyeful, won't you, mate?
831
00:43:45,269 --> 00:43:49,819
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
58593
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
