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Ladies and gentlemen,
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welcome to the most anticipated event
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in this precinct's history.
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The auction for…
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[ALL GASP]
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The Suitcase of Mystery!
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GINA: Exactly, Jacob.
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This puppy's been in the
lost and found since 1976.
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No one alive today knows its contents.
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I'm happy to say Captain Holt
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has finally given me
permission to auction it off.
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I'll let you give me a spray tan.
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Any shade you want.
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Jake, willing to sacrifice his dignity.
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Who can top it? Massage!
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I'll give you a massage.
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Charles, going in the wrong direction
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and getting himself disqualified.
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Interesting approach.
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Orange Jake, going once, going twice.
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I'll show you a picture
of me in high school.
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There is side-pony.
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Ooh. Ooh! Rosa coming in hot!
Rosa coming in hot!
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I'll also give you full control
of my hair and wardrobe!
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I'll go on a date with you.
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Sold! To Jake, not to Scully.
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That really freaked me out,
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and I just want this to end now. Whoo!
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So, there was this suitcase…
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I don't care. Yeah.
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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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HOLT: All right, everyone,
enough morning chitchat.
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Television happened,
commutes were difficult,
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Boyle had a dream.
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I laid a goose egg on this…
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That's enough. Yeah.
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A pipe burst in the Nine-Eight,
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rendering the building uninhabitable.
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They'll be sharing our space
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until the problem is fixed.
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-[ALL GROANING]
-What?
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A whole other precinct in here?
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We're already packed in like sardines.
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Look at this.
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Man, I sure would
love to be here to greet
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all these annoying losers, but sadly,
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Boyle and I are going to
be on a stakeout all week.
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Yeah, just two best buds
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stinking up a Saturn
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with our druthers of tunes
and personal pan pizzas.
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That sucks. That sucks.
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No one enjoyed that.
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Look, I know this is an inconvenience,
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however, I expect you all
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to be accommodating to our guests.
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Don't worry, sir, we will be cordial A.
F.
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"As Frasier. '' Love that show.
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DIAZ: They're here.
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SANTIAGO: I hate those Nine-Eight losers.
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Ugh! These guys are the worst.
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Hey, Stevie Schillens?
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Jakey P in the place to be.
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What are you doing here?
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I thought you were in the One-Two-Four.
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Ah, I was, man,
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but then I arrested all the bad guys
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in Staten, so I transferred
to the Nine-Eight.
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So dope.
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Everyone, put on your
parkas, 'cause this week
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just got a whole lot more chill.
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BOTH: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
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Allow me to introduce
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Stevie "Chillin'" Schillens.
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He was my very first partner
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and one of the all-time greats.
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Takes one to know one, man.
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Come on.
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I'm Charles!
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Whoa-oh!
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Hey, what's up, man?
I'm Stevie. We heard.
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Stevie and I were beat cops together.
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We called ourselves the Beatsie Boys.
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And, yeah, it was as cool as it sounds.
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So what'cha, what'cha
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What'cha want Cha want
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I get so funny with the
money that you flaunt
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So, y'all would just
stand around like that?
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Yeah! All the time.
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Totally get it.
My first partner was also pretty cool.
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Everyone called us Chucky and the Coot.
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So what'cha, what'cha
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What'cha want Cha want
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I get so funny with the
money that you flaunt
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So, I guess we all had great partners
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that we've completely moved on from.
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Because yours died of old age?
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He did.
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Anyway, we should motor.
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Jake and I are staking out
a bar called the Thirsty Ox…
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Lot of crime, lot of danger,
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lot of downtime for inside jokes.
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[HOARSE VOICE]
"Would you like some milk?"
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[CHUCKLES] What?
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"Would you like some milk?"
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[NORMAL VOICE] The guy…
'Cause you look like…
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I don't know what you're talking about.
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"Would you like the milk?" Please.
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PERALTA: What's it from?
It's funny. He remembers. Funny.
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Okay. Very funny.
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You know what's crazy?
I've been tracking a dealer
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who just took a job at the Thirsty Ox.
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No crap.
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We should work the case together.
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The Beatsie Boys reunion tour?
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Tagline, boys will always be boys.
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No wait. Some boys never change.
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No wait. Boys to men back to boys.
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No wait. Boys! No wait.
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Please, make yourself at home.
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Captain, why are you doing this?
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You hate people in your space.
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Nonsense. I'm an easygoing chap.
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Okay. I once saw you use a
ruler to measure another ruler.
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It was off by half a centimeter.
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It never should've been in circulation.
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Now, if you'll excuse me.
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Oh, he just sat at your desk.
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[INHALES SHARPLY]
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Good. Good. I was hoping he would.
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He's adjusting your chair settings.
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Even the lumbar?
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Exclusively the lumbar.
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So my spine'll hurt a little.
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It's only a highway holding
all your body's nerves.
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GINA: Mmm-hmm.
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You guys have an extra
mouse for my computer?
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No. But, hey, here, you can borrow mine.
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Terry knows his keyboard shortcuts!
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Ooh. Just deleted everything.
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Sir, we have a problem.
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Yeah, we do.
142
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The line for the microwave is insane!
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Seriously, Amy?
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Your problem is
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Hitchcock and Scully's frozen burritos?
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No! Yeah!
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Get out of here! Ugh.
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I'm trying to assemble my binders,
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but my new desk mate, Brian,
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brought a dog with him
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and my allergies are going crazy.
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I'm so stuffy, I can't even
enjoy that new binder smell.
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He shouldn't have a pet in the precinct.
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It's a "service animal" that
he has for made-up reasons.
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I have mild foot pain, okay?
Francie helps me with that.
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How?
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Legally, you're not
allowed to ask me that.
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Ugh!
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That is nothing.
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My new desk mate
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chats.
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Now, I like to think of this little lady
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as a city girl who married a farmhand.
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[CHUCKLES]
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She also likes to look up recipes online
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and go, "Who's got the time?"
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Okay.
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Captain wants things running smoothly,
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so why don't you both just
move and work from my desk?
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See? Everything is gonna be fine.
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Whoa.
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Guy just took my whole computer.
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The dealer I'm looking for is Tom Ozerov.
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I arrested him a year ago
on a first-degree felony,
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but he made a deal and walked.
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Dude's a real lowlife.
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Yeah, we've seen that guy.
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I said he looked like a
lowlife, remember that, Jake?
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His pants were too tight. Yeah, yeah.
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Hey, you know what else is too tight?
Hmm?
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Us working a case together again.
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[BOTH LAUGHING]
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Swurt. Whoo!
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Yeah, we say "noice," not "swurt."
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Look, I'm so sorry, but I
don't think there's room
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for a third person on this case.
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Jake, we should work it solo.
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Oh, hang on now, Boyle.
Let's not be hasty.
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I mean, Stevie's been tracking
Ozerov longer than we have.
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And three heads are better than two.
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Three's a crowd. Everybody knows that.
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What about in The Lion King? Hmm?
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When Jamone and Purboy
became friends with Steemba.
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That's not the names.
It's Simba, Timon, and Pumbaa,
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but I appreciate you trying.
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It really is a perfect analogy.
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All right, I'm in.
Stevie can work the case.
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All right!
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Charles Boyle,
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welcome to the Beatsie Boys.
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ALL: Aw!
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-♪ We're driving in a ♪
-♪ Car ♪
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-♪ Destination: Drug Dealer's ♪
-♪ Bar ♪
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-♪ Pass the mic right over to ♪
-[TOGETHER] ♪ Charles ♪
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We forgot Charles.
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♪ But we can't turn back
'Cause we gone too farles ♪
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We have to turn back, though.
We can't leave him.
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It was a good rhyme, though.
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Hey. Hey, buddy.
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Look, I'm not gonna waste your time
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00:07:02,420 --> 00:07:04,088
with some lame excuse
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00:07:04,172 --> 00:07:05,505
about why we left you behind, all right?
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00:07:05,589 --> 00:07:06,590
Just the truth.
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Stevie and I were taken hostage
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by an Armenian biker gang
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00:07:10,386 --> 00:07:11,970
and thrown on a cargo
ship headed to Asia,
217
00:07:12,054 --> 00:07:13,471
but we're back now.
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00:07:13,555 --> 00:07:16,057
Don't worry about it.
You can work the case without me.
219
00:07:16,141 --> 00:07:18,768
I'm busy bonding with
my new desk mate, Paul.
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00:07:18,852 --> 00:07:20,270
Hi, my name's Paul.
221
00:07:20,354 --> 00:07:22,272
Shh. Paul, nobody cares.
222
00:07:22,356 --> 00:07:24,441
Charles, I'm so sorry.
Don't be mad, okay?
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00:07:24,525 --> 00:07:25,859
We need you to work this case with us.
224
00:07:25,943 --> 00:07:27,068
And you're way too good for Paul.
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00:07:27,152 --> 00:07:28,320
Stop trying to flatter me.
226
00:07:28,404 --> 00:07:30,155
Jake, face it, I'm not a Beatsie Boy.
227
00:07:30,239 --> 00:07:31,989
All right. Well, then neither am I.
228
00:07:32,282 --> 00:07:33,782
The Beatsie Boys are finished.
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00:07:34,034 --> 00:07:35,619
If you're gonna be part of the
group, we need a new name,
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a name that you're gonna come up with.
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00:07:37,037 --> 00:07:38,914
Police Pals. Okay, it's decent.
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You can come up with a couple options.
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00:07:40,082 --> 00:07:41,124
Not necessary. That's the one.
234
00:07:41,208 --> 00:07:42,542
Okey dokey, let's go.
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HOLT: So, Gina, how's it going?
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00:07:44,877 --> 00:07:46,795
What's the gossip? "What's the gossip?"
237
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You can't stand being in
your office with him, can you?
238
00:07:49,674 --> 00:07:52,384
No, I'm just curious about your life.
I like to gab.
239
00:07:52,468 --> 00:07:53,886
So, uh, tell me about…
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boys.
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00:07:57,306 --> 00:07:59,099
Okay. I hate this.
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00:07:59,183 --> 00:08:02,311
Captain, you've gotta
stand up to that office hog.
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00:08:02,395 --> 00:08:03,771
Be stern, like me.
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00:08:03,855 --> 00:08:07,107
Notice I'm not sharing a
desk with Flynt's assistant.
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00:08:07,191 --> 00:08:09,193
'Cause he's over there.
246
00:08:09,527 --> 00:08:12,405
No eye contact. Get back to work. Ugh!
247
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Listen.
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You just say the word,
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and I will barge in there
and kick that dude out.
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00:08:18,202 --> 00:08:20,119
Don't be ridiculous.
He's my superior officer.
251
00:08:20,203 --> 00:08:21,704
But more to the point,
he's a welcome guest,
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and I am a good host.
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He locked you out of
your own office, didn't he?
254
00:08:25,375 --> 00:08:26,376
Yes, very much so.
255
00:08:26,460 --> 00:08:28,003
Oh, Raymond.
256
00:08:29,379 --> 00:08:30,546
Why do we all got to sit in the back?
257
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Because we are all here
together, and we are all equals.
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Hey, I've got an idea.
259
00:08:35,218 --> 00:08:36,803
Why don't we listen to
some sweet stakeout jams?
260
00:08:36,887 --> 00:08:38,137
Ooh, do you have the satellite
261
00:08:38,221 --> 00:08:39,555
radio station Sedan Rock?
262
00:08:39,639 --> 00:08:40,723
Seriously?
263
00:08:40,807 --> 00:08:43,267
Why not just go straight for the
Toni Braxton while you're at it?
264
00:08:43,351 --> 00:08:45,895
Oh, so, now you're gonna make fun of Toni?
Who is this joker?
265
00:08:45,979 --> 00:08:47,929
STEVIE: Oh, check it out. Guy entering.
266
00:08:48,106 --> 00:08:49,107
Wait, I know that dude.
267
00:08:49,191 --> 00:08:50,733
He buys from Ozerov.
268
00:08:50,817 --> 00:08:52,367
I mean, something's going down.
269
00:08:52,486 --> 00:08:54,487
I say we gear up, and we bust in.
270
00:08:54,571 --> 00:08:56,571
Like we did at Pacala
Ristorante, remember?
271
00:08:56,655 --> 00:08:58,105
[DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
272
00:09:00,076 --> 00:09:01,911
That's how we do it in Brooklyn.
273
00:09:02,119 --> 00:09:03,412
Yeah, okay, it sounds pretty cool,
274
00:09:03,496 --> 00:09:05,622
but Jake and I already talked
about how we'd play this.
275
00:09:05,706 --> 00:09:08,167
We had a pretty sweet convo about it.
Remember?
276
00:09:08,584 --> 00:09:09,793
I think we should do surveillance,
277
00:09:09,877 --> 00:09:11,336
collect intel, and build a case.
278
00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:12,421
Sure.
279
00:09:12,671 --> 00:09:15,007
So, we all got stories, pal.
280
00:09:15,883 --> 00:09:17,092
Look. We need information.
281
00:09:17,176 --> 00:09:19,636
If we bust in there and
Ozerov doesn't have any drugs,
282
00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,304
our whole operation is blown.
283
00:09:21,388 --> 00:09:22,431
But I know this guy, all right?
284
00:09:22,515 --> 00:09:23,932
He never works out of one place for long.
285
00:09:24,016 --> 00:09:25,934
I guarantee you he has drugs on him
286
00:09:26,018 --> 00:09:28,103
and if we don't get
him now, we never will.
287
00:09:28,187 --> 00:09:30,605
Well, too bad for you,
because Jake agrees with me.
288
00:09:30,689 --> 00:09:31,989
We're always on the same…
289
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:35,609
Page? Yes! Told you.
290
00:09:35,693 --> 00:09:37,903
Actually, Charles, I
think Stevie's right.
291
00:09:37,987 --> 00:09:39,113
No. You said "page."
292
00:09:39,197 --> 00:09:41,615
I know, but he knows this
case, and I trust his gut.
293
00:09:41,699 --> 00:09:45,077
But, hey, let's go catch
a bad guy together, right?
294
00:09:45,161 --> 00:09:46,787
Gear up, Police Pals!
295
00:09:46,871 --> 00:09:48,330
Hey, what is that?
296
00:09:48,414 --> 00:09:49,790
Thought we were Beatsie Boys.
297
00:09:49,874 --> 00:09:51,124
You didn't even tell him.
298
00:09:52,210 --> 00:09:53,413
Rosa, do you need
to listen to it that loud?
299
00:09:53,497 --> 00:09:54,295
[HEAVY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
300
00:09:54,379 --> 00:09:55,380
Yes!
301
00:09:56,047 --> 00:09:57,882
I'm trying to drown
out the sound of Ellen,
302
00:09:57,966 --> 00:09:59,416
the chat factory, over there.
303
00:09:59,592 --> 00:10:01,845
My daughter got me
a juicer for Christmas.
304
00:10:02,011 --> 00:10:04,764
-Did you know that you can juice nuts?
-What?
305
00:10:05,390 --> 00:10:07,308
I'm two seconds away from juicing Ellen.
306
00:10:07,392 --> 00:10:09,018
I know it's tough, but Sarge…
307
00:10:09,227 --> 00:10:10,769
Ah, no! Shoo, shoo, shoo!
308
00:10:10,894 --> 00:10:12,187
Shoo! Shoo!
309
00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:14,105
Can you at least put her on a leash?
310
00:10:14,189 --> 00:10:16,149
She's a medical professional. Okay?
311
00:10:16,233 --> 00:10:17,609
Would you keep a doctor on a leash?
312
00:10:17,693 --> 00:10:19,694
That dog does not help
you with your foot pain.
313
00:10:19,778 --> 00:10:21,654
You just want an excuse
to bring her everywhere!
314
00:10:21,738 --> 00:10:23,031
Your dog is a fraud.
315
00:10:23,115 --> 00:10:24,115
Fraud dog! Come on.
316
00:10:24,199 --> 00:10:26,367
Fraud dog! Fraud dog!
317
00:10:26,451 --> 00:10:27,494
Fraud dog! Juice Ellen!
318
00:10:27,578 --> 00:10:28,578
Juice Ellen! Fraud dog!
319
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:31,956
Whoa! Both of you, outside now!
320
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:33,490
I know it's crowded in there,
321
00:10:34,626 --> 00:10:36,626
and they're not very considerate guests,
322
00:10:36,712 --> 00:10:37,862
and they took my mouse,
323
00:10:38,172 --> 00:10:39,380
and then they took my keyboard,
324
00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:41,364
and then they took the whole computer.
325
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:43,475
And when I had nothing else to give,
326
00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:45,721
they came for my yogurt.
327
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,213
No, not just any yogurt.
328
00:10:47,513 --> 00:10:51,184
Full-fat Greek with a touch of honey.
329
00:10:52,894 --> 00:10:54,603
That's a once-a-week treat!
330
00:10:54,687 --> 00:10:56,022
[MICROWAVE BEEPS]
331
00:10:56,939 --> 00:10:58,482
What the hell are you
guys doing out here?
332
00:10:58,566 --> 00:10:59,942
Finally eating breakfast.
333
00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:01,443
We snuck the microwave out here
334
00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:03,779
so we could cook our
burritos like real policemen.
335
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:05,781
HITCHCOCK: Now they
have to use the toaster oven.
336
00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:08,492
Enjoy your 16-minute cook times, idiots.
[CHUCKLES]
337
00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:10,953
Guys, this is amazing.
338
00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:13,122
Back off, it's our microwave! Ours!
339
00:11:13,289 --> 00:11:14,540
[GROWLS]
340
00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:16,500
Nobody wants your microwave!
341
00:11:16,584 --> 00:11:18,252
But look, the Nine-Eight's stuff
342
00:11:18,336 --> 00:11:19,712
is blocking the windows.
343
00:11:20,171 --> 00:11:21,713
They can't see us out here.
344
00:11:21,797 --> 00:11:24,549
It's so peaceful and spacious.
345
00:11:25,634 --> 00:11:28,511
This could be our new beginning.
346
00:11:30,889 --> 00:11:31,889
All right.
347
00:11:31,973 --> 00:11:33,766
Can't let Ozerov ditch the drugs.
348
00:11:33,850 --> 00:11:35,434
We got to go in fast and strong.
349
00:11:35,518 --> 00:11:37,395
I don't know about you, but
I can use some adrenalin.
350
00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:39,064
A little slap-slap-boom? Hmm.
351
00:11:39,189 --> 00:11:40,523
What's slap-slap-boom?
352
00:11:40,607 --> 00:11:42,483
Oh, it's just this thing we used to
do to get each other pumped up
353
00:11:42,567 --> 00:11:44,610
where we slap each other in the face.
You don't have to do it.
354
00:11:44,694 --> 00:11:46,571
No, I want to. I want to go first.
355
00:11:46,655 --> 00:11:48,531
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
356
00:11:49,366 --> 00:11:50,466
Shh. There's movement.
357
00:11:50,992 --> 00:11:52,368
But I'm the only one who
got slapped in the face.
358
00:11:52,452 --> 00:11:53,787
Charles, we gotta go!
359
00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:56,998
NYPD! Show me your hands!
360
00:11:58,041 --> 00:12:00,709
Hey, Ozerov, I'll have
a martini with a twist.
361
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:03,253
The twist? You're under arrest.
362
00:12:03,337 --> 00:12:05,547
None for me, I'm driving… You to jail.
363
00:12:05,631 --> 00:12:08,008
He's clean. There's no drugs on him.
364
00:12:08,092 --> 00:12:10,678
Damn it.
We wasted those cool lines on nothing.
365
00:12:11,053 --> 00:12:12,179
Also, we blew the case.
366
00:12:12,263 --> 00:12:13,388
That's obviously much worse.
367
00:12:13,472 --> 00:12:14,772
That was my first thought.
368
00:12:17,309 --> 00:12:19,436
Look, I know that we
didn't find any drugs,
369
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,021
but I still think it was worth the risk.
370
00:12:21,105 --> 00:12:23,440
Well, I think it was a crap circus.
371
00:12:23,524 --> 00:12:25,650
This whole operation is blown.
372
00:12:25,734 --> 00:12:28,904
If you ask me, the Beatsie
Boys should be called
373
00:12:28,988 --> 00:12:31,239
the Thoroughly Messed-Up Millies.
374
00:12:31,323 --> 00:12:32,324
What?
375
00:12:32,408 --> 00:12:33,783
I can't even imagine
what you're going for.
376
00:12:33,867 --> 00:12:35,452
I was being devastating!
377
00:12:35,536 --> 00:12:37,162
Look, man, I get that you're pissed,
378
00:12:37,246 --> 00:12:38,829
but I am telling you, Ozerov is dirty.
379
00:12:38,913 --> 00:12:40,664
Maybe, but if we had staked the bar out,
380
00:12:40,748 --> 00:12:42,791
we could've built up cases
against a dozen guys here.
381
00:12:42,875 --> 00:12:44,543
This place is filled with criminals.
382
00:12:44,627 --> 00:12:46,003
I brought him in last month.
383
00:12:46,087 --> 00:12:47,087
Hey, Detective Boyle.
384
00:12:47,171 --> 00:12:48,214
Hi, Isaac.
385
00:12:48,298 --> 00:12:50,049
The only good thing
is, now this whole trio
386
00:12:50,133 --> 00:12:51,634
doesn't have to work together anymore.
387
00:12:51,718 --> 00:12:53,427
Yes, it does. Charles, you did it.
388
00:12:53,511 --> 00:12:54,595
You saved the case.
389
00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:55,721
What? Why? I didn't want to.
390
00:12:55,805 --> 00:12:56,889
Correct me if I'm wrong,
391
00:12:56,973 --> 00:12:58,891
but consorting with known
felons is a parole violation,
392
00:12:58,975 --> 00:13:01,602
meaning we have grounds
to search Ozerov's home.
393
00:13:02,312 --> 00:13:05,022
Hell, yeah! Jakey P with the save! Uh!
394
00:13:05,106 --> 00:13:06,690
PERALTA: Well, you know,
Boyle is the one who pointed it out.
395
00:13:06,774 --> 00:13:08,442
He deserves the credit. True, true, true.
396
00:13:08,526 --> 00:13:09,777
Good job, Earl!
397
00:13:09,861 --> 00:13:11,261
You know my name is Charles.
398
00:13:13,364 --> 00:13:16,491
So, if we're gonna start
a secret office on the roof,
399
00:13:16,575 --> 00:13:17,617
we need equipment.
400
00:13:17,701 --> 00:13:20,370
That means chairs, desks, printers, pens.
401
00:13:20,454 --> 00:13:21,788
But we gotta sneak it out,
402
00:13:21,872 --> 00:13:23,414
so we need a distraction.
403
00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:25,041
Okay, here is what I'm thinking.
404
00:13:25,125 --> 00:13:26,793
We give that dog a bunch of chocolates.
405
00:13:26,877 --> 00:13:27,961
It dies.
406
00:13:28,045 --> 00:13:29,087
While everyone celebrates…
407
00:13:29,171 --> 00:13:30,546
Okay, Amy's too close to this.
408
00:13:30,630 --> 00:13:32,507
Rosa, you got any ideas?
409
00:13:32,591 --> 00:13:35,093
Hitchcock and Scully just
set fire to the kitchen sink.
410
00:13:35,177 --> 00:13:37,136
-Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
-[SMOKE ALARM BEEPING]
411
00:13:37,220 --> 00:13:38,471
Perfect!
412
00:13:38,555 --> 00:13:39,598
Let's use that.
413
00:13:41,183 --> 00:13:42,642
I looked everywhere.
I didn't find anything.
414
00:13:42,726 --> 00:13:44,060
Did you? No.
415
00:13:44,144 --> 00:13:46,312
But mirror-top coffee table,
416
00:13:46,396 --> 00:13:48,856
iguana cage, samurai swords on the wall…
417
00:13:48,940 --> 00:13:50,066
Either this guy is a drug dealer,
418
00:13:50,150 --> 00:13:51,775
or he used Nic Cage
as an interior designer.
419
00:13:51,859 --> 00:13:53,568
He might be a drug dealer,
but we have nothing on him.
420
00:13:53,652 --> 00:13:55,070
Quick question, guys.
421
00:13:55,154 --> 00:13:57,865
Why did the drug dealer
never do his dishes?
422
00:13:58,449 --> 00:14:00,534
Because he had drugs in his dishwasher.
423
00:14:01,035 --> 00:14:02,369
Oh, yeah! The dishwasher?
424
00:14:02,453 --> 00:14:03,537
Hit me.
425
00:14:03,913 --> 00:14:04,913
Here, it's for you.
426
00:14:04,997 --> 00:14:05,998
Hello? Hey.
427
00:14:06,082 --> 00:14:07,457
What's up, dude? It's me.
428
00:14:07,541 --> 00:14:08,750
We got the drugs, man.
429
00:14:08,834 --> 00:14:10,484
Hang on, Charles wants to say hi.
430
00:14:11,379 --> 00:14:12,429
Do you have any milk?
431
00:14:14,507 --> 00:14:15,590
Not a stranger in sight.
432
00:14:15,674 --> 00:14:16,883
It's beautiful.
433
00:14:16,967 --> 00:14:19,177
I've never heard the
printer sound so happy.
434
00:14:19,261 --> 00:14:20,262
I feel like it knows.
435
00:14:20,346 --> 00:14:21,347
JEFFORDS: We did it.
436
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:23,432
A new world.
437
00:14:23,516 --> 00:14:26,143
This must be how the
Founding Fathers felt.
438
00:14:26,602 --> 00:14:27,937
So,
439
00:14:28,728 --> 00:14:29,854
what are you doing out here?
440
00:14:29,938 --> 00:14:31,772
Captain, it's mayhem in there.
441
00:14:31,856 --> 00:14:34,025
Those people are messy and selfish.
442
00:14:34,109 --> 00:14:35,568
And chatty. And out here,
443
00:14:35,652 --> 00:14:36,736
we can actually get work done.
444
00:14:36,820 --> 00:14:38,279
But… Sir, I'll handle this.
445
00:14:38,363 --> 00:14:39,405
We love it.
446
00:14:39,489 --> 00:14:41,407
We're proud of you. We want in.
447
00:14:41,491 --> 00:14:42,950
No. You're acting like little children
448
00:14:43,034 --> 00:14:44,035
playing basketball
449
00:14:44,119 --> 00:14:47,038
who've fallen behind by
several two-pointer buckets,
450
00:14:47,122 --> 00:14:48,956
so you just take your basket home,
451
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:50,583
and now no one else can play.
452
00:14:51,167 --> 00:14:52,501
I know it's not the time,
453
00:14:52,585 --> 00:14:53,961
but you gotta watch basketball
454
00:14:54,045 --> 00:14:55,296
if you're gonna try to reference it.
455
00:14:55,380 --> 00:14:56,547
Sergeant, this is boorish behavior.
456
00:14:56,631 --> 00:14:58,466
I wanted you to be a good host.
457
00:14:58,550 --> 00:14:59,675
You told me to make it work,
458
00:14:59,759 --> 00:15:01,552
and I came up with a creative solution.
459
00:15:01,636 --> 00:15:03,554
Diaz finished her arrest reports.
460
00:15:03,638 --> 00:15:05,972
Santiago did the filing of 10 men.
461
00:15:06,056 --> 00:15:07,223
HOLT: I don't want to hear it.
462
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:11,186
Just clean up this mess
and get back inside.
463
00:15:13,230 --> 00:15:14,314
[PRINTER BEEPS]
464
00:15:14,398 --> 00:15:15,399
Paper jam.
465
00:15:16,692 --> 00:15:17,985
It does know.
466
00:15:18,527 --> 00:15:20,153
Attenzione, dingbats.
467
00:15:20,237 --> 00:15:22,906
Perchance a riddle. Shakespeare.
468
00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:26,243
What has six thumbs and
just arrested a drug dealer?
469
00:15:26,660 --> 00:15:27,827
BOTH: These guys.
470
00:15:27,911 --> 00:15:29,037
[LAUGHING]
471
00:15:29,621 --> 00:15:31,039
Charles, thumbs up.
472
00:15:31,123 --> 00:15:32,749
I said "six thumbs" and
we're only showing four.
473
00:15:32,833 --> 00:15:33,833
We're starting to look like fools.
474
00:15:33,917 --> 00:15:35,001
STEVIE: Come on, Charles.
475
00:15:35,085 --> 00:15:36,086
There it is.
476
00:15:36,170 --> 00:15:37,421
That's the ticket. Whoo!
477
00:15:37,546 --> 00:15:39,047
All right, man, I'm gonna
go check in with Flynt.
478
00:15:39,131 --> 00:15:41,257
You do some research on where
we're gonna celebrate tonight.
479
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:42,591
Here's my only requirement,
480
00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:45,177
it has to be at your house
'cause I ain't got no money.
481
00:15:45,261 --> 00:15:47,096
Okay, how about at my house?
482
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,806
-Swurt.
-[BOTH LAUGHING]
483
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:51,601
Yes!
484
00:15:52,101 --> 00:15:53,102
[SIGHS]
485
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,286
BOYLE: Psst. Hey. Hey.
486
00:15:54,645 --> 00:15:56,145
What are you doing? Come here.
487
00:15:58,191 --> 00:15:59,191
What?
488
00:15:59,275 --> 00:16:00,275
I think Stevie's bad news.
489
00:16:00,359 --> 00:16:02,445
What? Oh, come on, Charles.
490
00:16:02,820 --> 00:16:05,114
You know, you've been acting
weird about Stevie all day.
491
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:06,198
I think you might be jealous.
492
00:16:06,282 --> 00:16:07,449
Of course, I'm jealous.
493
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:08,617
I was never hiding that.
494
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,285
How? He's tall. He's funny.
495
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:11,578
He can pull off an earring.
496
00:16:11,662 --> 00:16:12,788
He doesn't have an earring.
497
00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:14,039
But we both know he'd look good with one.
498
00:16:14,123 --> 00:16:15,916
Oh, my God…
What do you want me to say, Boyle?
499
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,168
I've been trying to include
you in this all day long.
500
00:16:18,252 --> 00:16:20,628
And, yes, I forgot you that one time,
501
00:16:20,712 --> 00:16:22,004
but I made up for it.
502
00:16:22,088 --> 00:16:23,089
I slapped you in the face.
503
00:16:23,173 --> 00:16:24,257
You're supposed to be my friend.
504
00:16:24,341 --> 00:16:26,384
I'm an adult man, I can
have two close friends.
505
00:16:26,468 --> 00:16:27,844
Hell, I can have three close friends.
506
00:16:27,928 --> 00:16:29,512
You wouldn't. I would.
507
00:16:29,596 --> 00:16:30,638
[SCOFFS] Maybe I'll get in touch
508
00:16:30,722 --> 00:16:32,056
with my friend James from college.
509
00:16:32,140 --> 00:16:33,516
Ooh.
Or you know who just looked me up online?
510
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:34,726
Brad from camp.
511
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:36,311
Stevie planted the drugs.
512
00:16:37,145 --> 00:16:38,146
Come on!
513
00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:40,606
I looked in that dishwasher
before him, and it was empty.
514
00:16:40,690 --> 00:16:42,233
Stevie planted those pills.
515
00:16:42,317 --> 00:16:44,235
But you're right, he's the coolest!
516
00:16:44,319 --> 00:16:46,362
You guys should go get
your ears pierced together.
517
00:16:46,446 --> 00:16:48,365
Invite Brad. It'll be smurt.
518
00:16:49,741 --> 00:16:51,743
It's "swurt", not "smurt".
519
00:16:52,744 --> 00:16:54,329
So, joke's on you.
520
00:16:54,496 --> 00:16:55,830
Damn it, Stevie!
521
00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,583
Hey, I logged the drugs.
522
00:16:59,667 --> 00:17:01,585
You know what that means.
It's time to celebrate.
523
00:17:01,669 --> 00:17:04,087
You know what that means.
Let's eat big sandwiches!
524
00:17:04,171 --> 00:17:06,214
I gotta talk to you in private.
525
00:17:06,298 --> 00:17:07,550
Come on.
526
00:17:10,344 --> 00:17:11,345
Okay.
527
00:17:12,888 --> 00:17:13,889
Uh…
528
00:17:14,223 --> 00:17:15,223
This is cozy.
529
00:17:15,307 --> 00:17:16,391
Well, the precinct is so crowded,
530
00:17:16,475 --> 00:17:18,775
this is the only place
no one can hear us talk.
531
00:17:18,978 --> 00:17:19,979
Listen.
532
00:17:20,646 --> 00:17:22,856
I know you planted the
drugs at Ozerov's place.
533
00:17:22,940 --> 00:17:24,858
What? Charles checked the dishwasher,
534
00:17:24,942 --> 00:17:26,359
and he didn't see any drugs.
535
00:17:26,443 --> 00:17:27,611
Yeah, well, they were there. All right?
536
00:17:27,695 --> 00:17:28,737
I guess he just missed them.
537
00:17:28,821 --> 00:17:31,198
Probably busy hiking up his
pants above his belly button.
538
00:17:31,282 --> 00:17:32,741
He has to do that because
they don't make pants
539
00:17:32,825 --> 00:17:33,908
short enough for him.
540
00:17:34,492 --> 00:17:35,842
Look. Don't lie to me, man.
541
00:17:36,953 --> 00:17:39,705
Dude, the guy is a drug dealer.
All right? [GROANS]
542
00:17:39,789 --> 00:17:41,489
I wasn't gonna let him walk again.
543
00:17:41,874 --> 00:17:42,917
But you get it, though, right?
544
00:17:43,001 --> 00:17:44,335
You're not a tight-ass like Charles.
545
00:17:44,419 --> 00:17:45,711
You know, I wish I was like Charles.
546
00:17:45,795 --> 00:17:47,546
He's a good cop and an honest person,
547
00:17:47,630 --> 00:17:50,299
and when we go on stakeouts,
we do listen to Toni Braxton,
548
00:17:50,383 --> 00:17:52,233
and it's super sad, and it's awesome.
549
00:17:52,719 --> 00:17:55,869
I can't believe I'm saying this,
Stevie, but I gotta report you.
550
00:17:56,472 --> 00:17:57,515
Ow!
551
00:17:57,599 --> 00:17:59,391
Did you just Donkey Kong punch me?
552
00:17:59,475 --> 00:18:01,602
There's not enough
room to regular punch you.
553
00:18:01,686 --> 00:18:02,687
[GROANS]
554
00:18:04,105 --> 00:18:05,148
[BOTH GROAN]
555
00:18:05,523 --> 00:18:07,483
Ooh, all right. It's on.
556
00:18:07,567 --> 00:18:08,817
What's going on? Ah!
557
00:18:08,901 --> 00:18:09,944
He did plant the drugs.
558
00:18:10,028 --> 00:18:11,028
You trusted me.
559
00:18:11,445 --> 00:18:12,446
Oh!
560
00:18:12,696 --> 00:18:14,822
Son of a bitch! I hope there's
room in this fight for three.
561
00:18:14,906 --> 00:18:15,907
There's not.
562
00:18:20,996 --> 00:18:23,790
You have a 2:30 meeting
with small-head, big-body.
563
00:18:23,874 --> 00:18:25,375
I forgot to take his name.
564
00:18:25,459 --> 00:18:26,460
DA Brayburn.
565
00:18:27,127 --> 00:18:28,169
Deputy Inspector Flynt,
566
00:18:28,253 --> 00:18:29,879
do you mind if we have a
meeting here in the office?
567
00:18:29,963 --> 00:18:31,047
Actually, I do mind.
568
00:18:31,131 --> 00:18:32,549
I'm not really in the mood for company.
569
00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:35,051
I just had a bad loss in
an online poker game.
570
00:18:35,135 --> 00:18:36,386
HOLT: Of course.
571
00:18:36,470 --> 00:18:37,720
Anything for our guests.
572
00:18:37,804 --> 00:18:39,389
PERALTA: Get back here, you crap basket.
573
00:18:39,473 --> 00:18:40,473
You're going down!
574
00:18:40,557 --> 00:18:42,684
Help! He's attacking me for no reason!
575
00:18:42,809 --> 00:18:44,144
-[ALL GASP]
-[GRUNTS]
576
00:18:44,895 --> 00:18:46,854
Stevie Schillens, you
have the right to remain…
577
00:18:46,938 --> 00:18:47,980
A loser. Noice.
578
00:18:48,064 --> 00:18:50,414
But, now legally, I have
to start over, Charles.
579
00:18:50,524 --> 00:18:51,942
-Stevie… Oh!
-[ALL GASP]
580
00:18:52,818 --> 00:18:54,268
Get off him. We just made up.
581
00:18:54,403 --> 00:18:55,404
[GRUNTING]
582
00:18:56,489 --> 00:18:58,658
Paul? I thought we had something.
583
00:19:00,284 --> 00:19:01,285
Get Nine-Eight.
584
00:19:02,244 --> 00:19:04,413
Hope your dog will help with neck pain.
585
00:19:04,622 --> 00:19:06,081
She doesn't help with any pain.
586
00:19:06,165 --> 00:19:07,166
I made it up.
587
00:19:07,375 --> 00:19:08,793
Ha! I knew it!
588
00:19:09,168 --> 00:19:10,169
DIAZ: Hey, Ellen.
589
00:19:10,419 --> 00:19:11,420
I got your farm girl.
590
00:19:11,504 --> 00:19:12,505
You wouldn't.
591
00:19:14,048 --> 00:19:15,049
Bessy!
592
00:19:15,716 --> 00:19:17,593
Terry got his computer back.
593
00:19:19,804 --> 00:19:21,763
Oh, come on!
594
00:19:21,847 --> 00:19:23,147
[ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
595
00:19:27,018 --> 00:19:29,103
Sarge, take off your shirt!
596
00:19:29,187 --> 00:19:30,737
It's restricting your movement.
597
00:19:32,315 --> 00:19:33,650
[BULLHORN BLARES]
598
00:19:35,568 --> 00:19:37,118
What the hell is going on here?
599
00:19:38,071 --> 00:19:39,071
Yeah.
600
00:19:39,155 --> 00:19:40,355
What are you guys doing?
601
00:19:41,491 --> 00:19:43,291
Brawling with other police officers?
602
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:44,660
What were you thinking?
603
00:19:44,744 --> 00:19:47,079
Sir, I had nothing to do with it.
604
00:19:47,163 --> 00:19:49,123
I was arresting a dirty cop.
605
00:19:49,207 --> 00:19:51,917
I heard you scream out "I love this!"
606
00:19:52,001 --> 00:19:53,044
Yes.
607
00:19:53,128 --> 00:19:55,379
"This" being justice.
608
00:19:55,463 --> 00:19:56,464
I love justice.
609
00:19:56,548 --> 00:19:57,882
And to make matters worse,
610
00:19:57,966 --> 00:20:01,551
our radiator was broken during
your wild street-ball scrum.
611
00:20:01,635 --> 00:20:03,553
So, now we have no heat.
612
00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:05,221
Which means we'll have
to work in the freezing cold,
613
00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:07,015
and our guests from the Nine-Eight
614
00:20:07,099 --> 00:20:09,518
will have to relocate again.
615
00:20:10,227 --> 00:20:11,729
No smiles. No smiles.
616
00:20:11,979 --> 00:20:13,396
This is a sad day for our precinct.
617
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:14,481
Dismissed.
618
00:20:14,857 --> 00:20:16,567
[ALL GRUMBLING]
619
00:20:17,693 --> 00:20:18,735
Captain.
620
00:20:18,819 --> 00:20:20,278
You know what's kinda weird?
621
00:20:20,362 --> 00:20:22,739
There was no one
fighting over by the radiator.
622
00:20:22,823 --> 00:20:25,159
You were the only
person standing near it.
623
00:20:27,619 --> 00:20:30,080
I suppose, in the hubbub,
624
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:32,583
I may have tripped and busted a pipe.
625
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,600
-[ALL CLAMORING]
-[METALLIC CLANK]
626
00:20:37,796 --> 00:20:38,796
I knew it!
627
00:20:38,921 --> 00:20:41,548
I knew you couldn't stand
having someone in your space.
628
00:20:41,632 --> 00:20:42,883
He used my letter opener
629
00:20:42,967 --> 00:20:44,593
to cut his tuna sandwich in half!
630
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,053
You were right.
631
00:20:46,471 --> 00:20:48,305
They were disrespectful and had to go.
632
00:20:48,389 --> 00:20:50,224
And, yes, sometimes you have to come up
633
00:20:50,308 --> 00:20:51,559
with a creative solution.
634
00:20:52,143 --> 00:20:53,477
And sometimes just a bunch of dudes
635
00:20:53,561 --> 00:20:54,728
need to get into a room and just…
636
00:20:54,812 --> 00:20:55,897
[GRUNTING]
637
00:20:56,898 --> 00:21:00,485
Take that! Yeah, yeah, yeah! [GRUNTS]
638
00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:02,779
That's not the lesson here.
639
00:21:03,321 --> 00:21:04,530
Okay, Captain.
640
00:21:05,990 --> 00:21:09,786
BOTH: ♪ Unbreak my heart ♪
641
00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:13,456
♪ Say you love me again ♪
642
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:15,915
You know what? I like this song!
643
00:21:15,999 --> 00:21:17,918
♪ This hurt that you caused ♪
644
00:21:18,126 --> 00:21:19,127
Hey, you don't get to sing.
645
00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:20,212
Shut up! Shut Up!
646
00:21:20,378 --> 00:21:22,631
[SCOFFS] The nerve. Unbelievable.
647
00:21:23,298 --> 00:21:30,298
♪ Uncry these tears
I cried so many nights ♪
46024
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