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1
00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:07,674
- What's the damage?
2
00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:09,718
- It's on the house.
3
00:00:09,759 --> 00:00:11,386
- Oh, Dad, I know
business has been slow--
4
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,721
- $4.50.
5
00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:16,016
- Keep the change.
6
00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:17,183
- 50ยข?
7
00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:19,644
That's your tip?
8
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,229
- Well, yeah,
that's, like, 15%.
9
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:23,648
- It's 11%.
10
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:27,318
I'm glad I'm not
stripping for you.
11
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,738
I'd have to go home
with change in my panties.
12
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:37,287
Warmer.
13
00:00:47,088 --> 00:00:49,424
Big tipper here!
We got a big tipper!
14
00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:53,845
- * It's true *
15
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:57,974
* The marriage that we once
had now is through *
16
00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:01,978
* And now we're doing
all that we can do *
17
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:06,608
* To keep us all together
as a crew *
18
00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:10,403
* Just do as we say,
not as we do *
19
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:14,407
* We really thought
that we were done *
20
00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:16,785
* But we've just begun *
21
00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:21,748
- And that's 14 losses
in a row
22
00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:24,918
for the Boston Celtics,
a terrible losing streak.
23
00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:28,046
Trey Taylor,
upset on the sideline.
24
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,381
- Poor Trey.
25
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:31,591
- Forget Trey.
Look around!
26
00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:33,802
This losing streak is bad
for my business.
27
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:36,888
- Maybe if you had a TV
that was made this century.
28
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,348
- Who can afford a new TV?
29
00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:39,891
I'm thinking about selling
the one I got.
30
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,268
- Whoa, Dad, no one's
gonna buy that old TV.
31
00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:44,938
- Hey, before you go.
32
00:01:44,979 --> 00:01:46,272
It's 50 bucks.
33
00:01:46,314 --> 00:01:47,816
Small dent, but it's something.
34
00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:51,152
- Oh, Dad, please, that--
that money wasn't a loan.
35
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:52,612
It was a gift.
I don't need it back.
36
00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:56,658
- Oh! You don't need
three grand, Rockefeller?
37
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,827
Must be nice.
38
00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:00,578
I've never been in debt
in my life,
39
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:02,163
and it's weighing on me.
Just take it.
40
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:03,623
- You sold your blood?
41
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:06,084
- I donated,
and they gave me money.
42
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,503
- When you donate something
and they give you money,
43
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:11,589
that's called
selling something.
44
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:13,591
- What else am I gonna do
with my blood?
45
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:17,095
It's just swishing around
in my arteries, doing nothing.
46
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,805
- I'm not taking
your literal blood money.
47
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:21,474
- Take it.
I wish my body made it faster,
48
00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:23,560
but I can get you more
next week.
49
00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:24,978
- Things will turn around.
50
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:27,272
I-if there's anything I can do,
just say the word.
51
00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:29,899
- Now that you mention it,
52
00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:32,193
I need Trey to do me a favor.
53
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:33,987
- Dad, we can't ask Trey
for money.
54
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:35,405
- I'm not asking for money.
55
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,240
I need him to send
a player over here
56
00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,325
for a meet and greet.
57
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:41,786
You said, "Say the word."
58
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,788
- Yeah, but I can't start
asking Trey for favors.
59
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:47,500
- You just now said,
"Say the word."
60
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,419
- I should have
excluded the words
61
00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:50,628
"Trey," "favor," and "ask."
62
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,505
- It'd be good for him too.
63
00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:55,800
He sends a player over,
it creates community goodwill.
64
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,135
It's a win-win.
65
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,971
I'd ask him myself,
but I can't go hat in hand.
66
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,974
- But it's okay for me
to go hat in hand?
67
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,684
- It's not you asking.
68
00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:05,727
I'm asking.
69
00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:07,270
Just put the words
in your mouth,
70
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,688
you go over there,
open your mouth,
71
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,732
the words come out,
and they're from me.
72
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:13,985
- Let me think about it.
I don't like
73
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,029
mixing family with...family.
74
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,572
- Hey, wait.
75
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:21,117
That's 3 bucks
towards the next 50.
76
00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:25,705
- Grace, dinner's here!
77
00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:27,791
You're sure you won't stay
for a slice?
78
00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:29,668
- Yeah, Dad, you can have
some of mine.
79
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:32,128
- Mm, thanks, but Dad's
watching his tummy,
80
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:34,714
and I'd rather not
watch it explode.
81
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:37,550
- Mom, I just beat these two
at Monopoly so bad.
82
00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,302
At one point, Dad had
to borrow money from me
83
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,096
so he could pay me rent.
- What?
84
00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:43,223
- Yes, your daughter's
quite the loan shark.
85
00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:45,308
The vig is 20%.
86
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,143
She now owns
my blue cashmere sweater.
87
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:49,813
- So soft.
88
00:03:49,854 --> 00:03:51,690
- When I couldn't pay rent
on Marvin Gardens,
89
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,608
she made me bark like a dog.
90
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:56,611
- Please be kind to each other.
91
00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:00,281
- She's not the person
you think she is.
92
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:01,282
- Yes, I am.
93
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,618
Sit, Jimmy. Sit.
94
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:06,538
- So how's Trey holding up?
95
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:07,706
- How do you mean?
96
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:09,374
- Well, Celtics are
in the toilet,
97
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:12,627
and you consoling him
has become a meme.
98
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,588
- He's fine.
99
00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:16,965
You know,
but when he gets here,
100
00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,259
let's try not to mention
the team, okay?
101
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,760
You know, don't say "Celtics,"
102
00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,095
"basketball," "basket,"
or "ball."
103
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:24,055
Don't say "lose," "lost,"
"losing," or "loss."
104
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,224
Don't say "dog," "wallet,"
"keys," or "virginity"--
105
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,267
anything he's lost.
106
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:31,229
And don't give him any advice.
107
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:34,441
- The coach has gotta work
on basic skills with them.
108
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:38,153
Shooting drills, passing
drills, and conditioning.
109
00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:41,031
- Thank you, Jimmy,
but they're all pretty fit.
110
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:43,033
- Hey, why don't you just
get all-new players?
111
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:48,079
- I'll give that
some thought, Grace.
112
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,914
- Why don't you two be kind,
go in the living room,
113
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,624
be kind, finish your pizza,
be kind.
114
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,502
Hey, hon.
- Hi, baby.
115
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,845
- B-T-dubs,
loving that beard, bro.
116
00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:06,348
- Thanks, homeslice.
Um...
117
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:08,975
but it's not for style.
118
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,268
It's for good juju.
119
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,979
So no shaving
120
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,981
until we snap
this losing streak.
121
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,483
- I wouldn't get
too worried about it.
122
00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:17,942
All teams have
unlucky stretches.
123
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,527
- And I've been praying
every night
124
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:20,737
that things will turn around.
125
00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:22,572
- Yeah, well, pray extra hard,
126
00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:24,908
because Boston's not happy.
127
00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:26,493
Today, I walked
into Dunkin' Donuts,
128
00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:28,745
and they just said, "Nope."
129
00:05:29,954 --> 00:05:32,082
- That shirt is
really good on you.
130
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:36,628
- What do you want?
131
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:37,921
- Look, you know that I have
132
00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:39,547
never asked you
for anything before,
133
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,675
even though I drove you home
from your colonoscopy,
134
00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:44,010
which I was glad to do,
you know, for you
135
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:46,346
and your colon.
136
00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:47,347
- Spit it out, Jim.
137
00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:48,515
- Okay.
138
00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:50,141
Business has been slow
at my dad's bar,
139
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,102
so he wants you to send
a player down
140
00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:55,105
for a meet and greet--but hey,
it's a win for you too.
141
00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:57,691
Dad gets a Celtic,
and you get community goodwill.
142
00:05:59,984 --> 00:06:02,821
Okay, it's in no way
a win for you.
143
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,407
The truth is, last month,
I threw my dad
144
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:06,741
a few grand
to cover some bills.
145
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,702
It was a gift, not a loan,
146
00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:10,370
but he insists
on paying me back.
147
00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:11,705
It's--it's maddening.
148
00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:12,956
If we were Vikings,
I would have
149
00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:14,457
pushed him
off a cliff a long time ago.
150
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,627
- Jim, I just don't have
the bandwidth.
151
00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:19,713
- Look, my dad has been
selling his blood.
152
00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:22,590
And I'm not sure how much blood
he even has anymore.
153
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,720
- All right, I guess I could
send over Yuri Kobilska.
154
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:29,723
- There's a Celtic
named Kobilska?
155
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:32,809
Does he come on a roll
with mustard?
156
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:34,936
- He's a new guy, Slovakian.
157
00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:36,312
I was gonna send him
back to the G League,
158
00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:38,356
but you know what,
I'll keep him one more week
159
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,357
just for you.
160
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,775
- For my dad.
161
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,610
Uh, so his name again
was Yuri...
162
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,070
- Kobilska.
163
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,572
Done.
164
00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:58,460
- That good beard juju
kicked in.
165
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,463
Kobilska's led us
to eight straight wins.
166
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:04,174
- Yet still no shaving.
167
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:06,509
- Obviously, if I shave now,
we'd lose again.
168
00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:08,845
I mean, that's Juju 101.
169
00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:11,056
- Syracuse didn't offer
a degree in juju.
170
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,392
- Yuri, you dominated tonight--
171
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,811
a triple-double,
including 14 assists.
172
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,772
- I think we played well
as a team,
173
00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:22,025
but all glory goes to God.
174
00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:24,361
- So Yuri's coming.
Dad's gonna have a big night.
175
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:26,446
It's Linsanity all over again.
176
00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:28,740
- We market tested
"Yur-insanity."
177
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,909
It looked better on paper.
178
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:37,040
* *
179
00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:38,708
We messed with the juju.
180
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:41,753
- Honey, I'm sorry.
181
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,589
I just wanted to kiss you
without getting lacerations.
182
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,549
- Can you not see
there's a causal connection
183
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:48,009
between us losing last night
184
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,679
and me trimming my beard
to now resemble an Amish elder?
185
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,557
- Is that thy carriage
parked outside?
186
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:57,268
Because thy horse has pooped.
187
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,520
- It's not funny.
188
00:07:58,561 --> 00:07:59,729
- What's the matter with him?
189
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:01,731
- Trey thinks the Celtics lost
last night
190
00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,108
because he trimmed his beard.
191
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,819
- The juju's been disrupted.
192
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,320
- Don't sweat it.
It was one game.
193
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,739
- If I would have just left
the hair on my face alone,
194
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:11,449
there was a clear path
to a title.
195
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,035
But no, you wanted a kiss.
196
00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:18,081
- I think we're gonna go.
197
00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:19,916
Um, come on,
let's get you a donut.
198
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:22,627
I'm buying.
- You're gonna have to buy.
199
00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:26,965
- There's three grand.
We're square.
200
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,591
- Wow, you're--
you're pulling in that much?
201
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:29,718
- Piece of cake!
202
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,344
I got a $20 cover.
203
00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:32,721
Drinks cost double tonight.
204
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:36,016
It's called dynamic pricing.
205
00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:39,185
You see, son, some people just
have a natural business sense.
206
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:41,604
No matter what ups and downs
the economy takes,
207
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:43,606
they can still turn a buck.
208
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:45,734
And it happens to be the Kid.
209
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:49,946
We got a problem.
210
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:54,993
- Thank God you got that
natural business sense, Kid.
211
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,953
- Yuri won't come out
of the walk-in cooler.
212
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,913
If he thinks he's gonna get
a piece of the action,
213
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,331
he can forget it.
- Whoa, whoa, Dad, Dad.
214
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,125
I'll--I'll talk to him.
- I'lltalk to him.
215
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:05,003
I'm not afraid
of some 6'3" Slovakian.
216
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,421
- He's 6'11".
217
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:09,132
- Better you go alone.
218
00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:12,135
* *
219
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:14,304
- Oh. Hey, there.
220
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:17,474
Um, hope I'm not interrupting.
221
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:19,476
Uh, we haven't officially met.
222
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,144
Uh, I'm Jim Kearney.
223
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:22,979
My dad owns the bar.
224
00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:26,316
Uh, wonder if I could have
a quick word with you, Yuri.
225
00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:27,942
Oh, may I call you Yuri?
226
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:33,656
Your--your fans are
really excited to see you.
227
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:35,325
Uh, they--they love you.
228
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:36,826
- When I score.
229
00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:39,120
But last night, I blow game.
230
00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:40,663
We lost because of me.
231
00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:42,499
I began to believe
those who say,
232
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,875
"Yuri is a baller.
233
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,960
Yuri is the shizzle."
234
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:47,629
And you see what happened?
235
00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:49,547
I let God down.
236
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,883
- Oh, no, pfft.
God's not let down.
237
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,176
God's fine.
238
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,803
God's got other stuff
on his mind.
239
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,473
- Before I come to America,
240
00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:00,767
I was studying
to become a priest.
241
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:03,019
But in the seminary
intramural league,
242
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:05,605
I discovered hidden ability
to play.
243
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:06,815
- Uh, I don't know
about "hidden."
244
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,775
Uh, you're very tall.
245
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,403
- When I start
to have success in NBA,
246
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,488
I lose sight of God.
247
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,031
I have failed.
248
00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:16,366
- Oh, no, no.
249
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,243
You--you didn't fail.
250
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,370
Look, you know, we all--
we all love the big guy.
251
00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:24,916
You know, uh, I mean, he--
he turned water into wine,
252
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,668
and, uh...
253
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,878
That whole parting
of the Red Sea thing,
254
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:32,632
that was, uh--
that was pretty cool.
255
00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:33,883
Um...
256
00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:36,636
uh, bubonic plague
was a misstep.
257
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,557
But he bounced back
with the Matterhorn--
258
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:43,268
both the mountain and the ride.
259
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,936
- God is so amazing.
260
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,897
- Yes, and he gets plenty
of praise and attention for it.
261
00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:50,442
Uh, uh, temples,
mosques, churches,
262
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:54,612
Chick-fil-A is closed
on Sunday, all for him.
263
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,072
And you honor him too.
264
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:57,741
Uh, What do you say
in your postgame interviews?
265
00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:59,034
- Glory goes to God.
266
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:01,244
- Yeah, right.
So what happens to you
267
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,079
is part of God's plan.
268
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:05,999
Those free throws you ganked
the other night?
269
00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:08,293
That's on him, not you.
270
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,295
- I never think
like this way before.
271
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:13,465
- Well, start thinking
like this way, my friend.
272
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,675
It's all a part of his plan.
273
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:19,137
- You are very wise,
Jim Kearney.
274
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,348
Can we speak more
about this sometime?
275
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:22,891
- Uh, sure we can, out there,
276
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,726
uh, after we meet,
uh, and greet,
277
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:26,478
which are, admittedly,
the same thing.
278
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,188
Um, so let's get you out there
279
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:30,648
and meeting
your adoring public.
280
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,650
So--oh, oh, goodness. Okay.
281
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:33,902
Um...
282
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:38,156
- Even your head
is like basketball.
283
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,407
* *
284
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:48,458
- Who's the Kid now?
285
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,251
- Thank you, son.
286
00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:55,256
- Hey, Yuri,
what happened last night?
287
00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:58,426
You were the opposite
of clutch.
288
00:11:58,468 --> 00:11:59,844
- I do not like to lose,
289
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:02,222
but sometimes losing is
a part of God's plan.
290
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,808
- But you bricked
the two free throws.
291
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,017
That would've made
the difference.
292
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,103
- Your math is correct.
293
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,730
My intention is always
to score.
294
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:12,357
But once the ball
leaves my hand,
295
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,109
the outcome is not up to me.
296
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,569
So if people do not like
the outcome,
297
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,655
people should not blame me.
298
00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:21,324
You should blame God.
299
00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,044
- Oof! Another Monopoly
beatdown, Jimmy.
300
00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:36,047
Pennsylvania Avenue
with three houses?
301
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,133
Next game,
you're gonna owe me a thousand.
302
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,844
- Dad, tell her debts don't
carry over to the next game.
303
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,971
- Well, yes, they do.
304
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,806
Unless--
- I'm not barking.
305
00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:46,307
- Jimmy, you're my brother.
306
00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:47,934
I wouldn't make you bark.
307
00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:49,310
Can you roll over?
308
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:50,395
- Mom.
309
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,857
- Kids, be kind to each other.
310
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:56,818
One day, your father
and I will be dead.
311
00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:59,362
- Such a lovely thought.
312
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:02,782
- Might we grab you for
a little confab in the kitchen?
313
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,451
- Okay, I'll take
what money you got,
314
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:05,618
plus you have to roll over.
315
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:06,661
I'm not doing it.
316
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:08,079
Who's a good boy?
317
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,664
- Stop.
- Who's a good boy?
318
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,499
- I need to have
a word with you, bro.
319
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,460
- Why is he looking at me
like something is my fault?
320
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:15,462
- Because something is
your fault, Jim.
321
00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:18,423
- Word has gotten out
about Mr. Kobilska's comments
322
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:21,134
last night, and there have
been some feelings.
323
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:23,511
- They're not
positive feelings, Jim.
324
00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:26,556
- People are not happy that
Yuri threw God under the bus.
325
00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:29,517
- God is already under the bus.
326
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:30,977
He's everywhere.
327
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:35,648
- People are protesting
outside of TD Garden.
328
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:37,692
- Who the hell is protesting?
- People who believe
329
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:38,860
that God has been insulted--
330
00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:40,945
and there's a lot of them.
331
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,364
- Well, this is America.
332
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,324
People are entitled
to their religious beliefs,
333
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:45,825
but that stuff has nothing
to do with me.
334
00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:47,827
- Oh, really?
335
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:50,038
Because an hour ago,
I asked Mr. Kobilska
336
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,456
how he arrived
at the conclusion
337
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:54,209
that the Lord Almighty
is somehow to blame
338
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,877
for his laughable
free throw skills...
339
00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:57,462
- And guess what he said?
340
00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,382
- "I really should practice
my free throws"?
341
00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:02,467
- No, he said
he received guidance
342
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:05,053
from his spiritual advisor.
343
00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:06,471
- I was just trying
to get him out of the cooler.
344
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,390
- I should have never agreed
to send Yuri!
345
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:11,393
- You only kept Yuri
because I asked for the favor.
346
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:12,435
Ha!
- Ha?
347
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:14,062
You don't get to "ha" him!
348
00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:16,690
- I'm gonna need to re-borrow.
349
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:18,066
- Where the hell
did you come from?
350
00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:19,651
- From my God-blaming bar,
351
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,069
where people are
demanding refunds.
352
00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:22,404
- Refunds? For what?
353
00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:23,988
- That's what I said.
354
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,825
I told 'em, no way I'm paying
for beers they already drank.
355
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,910
They threatened to set fire
to the building.
356
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:31,496
So we compromised,
and I gave 'em refunds.
357
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:33,206
I had no choice!
358
00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:35,542
All because this guy's
star player
359
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:38,003
is a God-blaming blasphemer!
360
00:14:39,254 --> 00:14:40,797
- I told Yuri you'd want
to counsel him
361
00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:42,424
in his time of strife.
- Uh, I'm having
362
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:44,426
my own time of strife.
363
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:47,012
I do not want
to be repaid, Dad.
364
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,847
You're not allowed to repay me.
365
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:53,226
- If I have to sell a kidney,
you'll get every penny back.
366
00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:57,647
- Nobody wants
your 71-year-old kidneys.
367
00:14:57,689 --> 00:15:01,359
- You wish your pee stream
was as strong as mine.
368
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:04,988
I'll put a frozen rope
into that sink from right here!
369
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,535
- Please don't.
370
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:14,372
- All right, Jim, you're up.
371
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:15,957
- He's here?
Why is he here?
372
00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:17,876
- Because there are
people protesting
373
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,253
outside of TD Garden!
374
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:22,964
- What am I supposed to say?
375
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,299
- Oh, bestow your wisdom
376
00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:26,426
about the nature of God
and the universe.
377
00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:27,719
- I know next to nothing
378
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,304
about the nature
of God and the universe.
379
00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:30,388
I'm a layman.
380
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,265
- Jim, this is impacting
Trey's business,
381
00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:34,100
all because your father can't
accept your generosity
382
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:36,436
like a normal human being!
383
00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:39,689
- I'm not gonna take money
from my own son!
384
00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:42,233
Well, except this check.
385
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,735
- Listen up, Reverend Jim.
386
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:46,654
You asked for the favor,
and you are going to fix this!
387
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:47,989
- All right.
Here we go.
388
00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:49,324
- Well, well, well.
389
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:51,743
If it isn't
the human hand grenade.
390
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,078
- Not helpful, Dad.
391
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:55,288
- Mr. Taylor said
you wanted to talk to me.
392
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:57,832
- Yeah.
Yeah, I--I--
393
00:15:57,874 --> 00:16:00,960
I think you may have taken
something I said yesterday
394
00:16:01,002 --> 00:16:02,003
the wrong way.
395
00:16:02,045 --> 00:16:03,838
- No, I understand completely.
396
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,590
Your message is so simple:
397
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,801
God has a plan.
398
00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:11,930
- Jim, why don't you illuminate
us and Mr. Kobilska
399
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,307
about the concept of free will
400
00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:18,144
and how it fits
within God's plan?
401
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:21,773
- Yuri, my clumsy
inarticulations
402
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:25,318
have, uh, led you astray...
403
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,028
my son.
404
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:29,864
Uh, and as a--a good shepherd,
405
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:32,909
uh, who tends his flock,
406
00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:35,370
I must bring you
back into the--
407
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:36,371
- Herd.
408
00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,960
- Flock.
409
00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:49,259
Each sheep, uh, grows wool,
410
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:54,889
uh, for--
for making socks and, uh...
411
00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:56,933
- Mittens.
- Yes, mittens.
412
00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,476
- People need mittens.
- Yes.
413
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:01,646
Uh, and sometimes you--you give
your mittens to someone--
414
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,565
a family member, perhaps--
415
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:06,568
and they think they need
to give you those mittens back,
416
00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:09,112
even though you repeatedly--
repeatedly--
417
00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:12,532
tell them
you do not want them back.
418
00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:16,953
So you, uh, ask someone
who has, uh, an extra sheep
419
00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:19,789
to--to loan you a--a sheep,
420
00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:23,043
uh, so that the aforementioned
family member
421
00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:25,962
can gather their own wool,
422
00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:30,550
so they can make
their own mittens.
423
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:34,763
- So we need you, Yuri,
to clarify...
424
00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:35,930
- That when you play poorly...
425
00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:37,265
- It's not God's fault.
426
00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:40,226
Does that make sense?
- Not really.
427
00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:42,187
- Pray on it, and it will.
428
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:45,273
- Job 36:11,
"If they hear and serve him,
429
00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:47,984
"they will end their days
in prosperity
430
00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:49,694
and their years in pleasures."
431
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,071
- I love that one.
432
00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:53,782
12 years of Catholic school.
433
00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:02,457
- Trey will go first.
434
00:18:02,499 --> 00:18:03,958
A quick statement
on behalf of the team,
435
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,502
and then throw it
to Mr. Kobilska.
436
00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:07,754
Just read the statement
exactly as I wrote it,
437
00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:09,005
and everything will be fine.
438
00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:11,424
- I'm quite nervous.
439
00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:13,551
- I'd like to offer a few words
to my disciple--
440
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,553
- No, no, no.
441
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,889
You--I think you've said
enough, all right?
442
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:20,392
You're gonna be fine.
This is just a clarification.
443
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,560
That's all--
to finish what you started.
444
00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:25,355
- All right.
Go get 'em.
445
00:18:25,397 --> 00:18:26,981
- Hey, how's everybody doing?
446
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,733
Thank you for coming out.
447
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:31,611
Um, good afternoon.
448
00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:34,572
While the Celtics organization
respects religious freedom,
449
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,575
we recognize that there
are appropriate times
450
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,411
for its expression.
451
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:42,580
To that end, Mr. Kobilska has,
uh, prepared a statement.
452
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,667
I wish to apologize
453
00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:48,837
for any offense I have caused
to the people of Boston,
454
00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:51,297
America, and around the world.
455
00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:54,968
My intention was never to--
456
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,436
I believe God has a plan.
457
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:06,438
But up until a few moments ago,
458
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:09,357
I was uncertain
of my part in it.
459
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:12,110
Then my wise employer,
Mr. Taylor,
460
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:15,655
counseled me to finish
what I started.
461
00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:19,617
I believe his message
is a message from God.
462
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:23,079
So today, I am resigning
from the Celtics
463
00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:27,292
to return to Slovakia to finish
my studies in the seminary.
464
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:29,669
I wish to thank
the Celtics organization
465
00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:31,713
for the opportunity to play.
466
00:19:31,755 --> 00:19:33,298
Glory to God.
467
00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:39,095
- Man, you really got to watch
what you say to this guy.
468
00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:42,057
* *
469
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:45,060
- And that'll do it.
470
00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:47,812
Miami Heat, 123; Celtics, 102.
471
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,939
And the boys in green have
once again found themselves
472
00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:52,609
in the middle of
an embarrassing losing streak.
473
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:56,029
Dear God, could the Celtics
have used Kobilska tonight.
474
00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:58,782
- There's another 100--
475
00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:00,367
50 from donating blood,
476
00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:03,828
and another 50
from donating more blood.
477
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:07,832
I found a workaround,
and I gave him a fake ID.
478
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:09,459
- Okay, we gotta
talk about this.
479
00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:12,128
This whole money thing never
should've even been a thing.
480
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:14,047
You know, and it somehow
became another thing
481
00:20:14,089 --> 00:20:15,840
that really complicated
a bigger thing,
482
00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:18,385
and that was not fun.
483
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:20,220
Dad, I gave you that money
because you're my father,
484
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:22,514
and what's mine is yours.
485
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,225
Okay.
This is a list of all the times
486
00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:27,394
that you paid for stuff
that you didn't need to.
487
00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:30,689
- Senior prom, 80;
488
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,148
new snow tires, 250;
489
00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:34,818
parking tickets, 150.
490
00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:36,986
This adds up to three grand?
491
00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:39,322
- On the nose.
492
00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:42,283
- You're a good son.
493
00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:45,203
Three-card monte, 100 bucks?
494
00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:48,498
- I thought it was 250.
495
00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:50,792
- Pretty sure it was a--
a flat hundred.
496
00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:53,628
Anyway, I just wanted
to square our books.
497
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:56,256
- It was 250.
498
00:20:58,049 --> 00:21:01,052
- Um, well, I'm--I'm saying,
you owe me nothing, so...
499
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:02,887
- That loan I floated you
in college,
500
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,098
that was 700, not 500.
501
00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:10,270
- Huh. Memory's a--
a funny thing, isn't it?
502
00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:12,230
So let's just say we're square.
503
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:16,735
That there is an amended total.
504
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:17,736
- This looks like--
505
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,488
- You owe me 2,110.
506
00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:24,284
- What?
- I don't need it right away.
507
00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:26,619
End of the month is fine.
508
00:21:26,661 --> 00:21:28,663
* *
36863
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