All language subtitles for Abbott.Elementary.S03E01-E02.1080p.WEB.H264-ETHEL.Sdh

Yurrr! What it do, camera crew?

Welcome back to the
house that Ava built.

It's been a while. Y'all
ain't missed anything.

Hey! Look who it is!

What's it been?
Like five months?

How you doin'?

Oh, what up? We still
doing this? Yeah.

Oh, my God! You
guys! Hey! Oh, sorry.

Um, wow. You got new equipment.

Look, I don't want to
say I told you so, but...

I will. Y'all should've
listened to Jacob

and made a right on 30th Street
instead of the left that night.

You want me to tell you
what happened to you?

Oh, right. Tell the people.
So, they got robbed.

Because they thought it'd
be cute to walk around.

West Philly at night with
all this camera equipment.

Hell, I'd have helped
rob you if I was there.

Anyway, here we are,
five months later,

because that's how long
it takes for three people

with art degrees to
save up for new cameras.

Welcome back! It's
Career Day today.

Unfortunately.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Ava! Not planning on being
conscious for Career Day?

This is a district initiative.
They can handle it.

Anyone else feel like the
people from the district

have been more
annoying than usual?

- They're not all bad.
- I think they're cool.

Mnh. I actually
like them this year.

Shocking. I don't know.

I feel like they've
been unequivocally

and universally worse
than they've ever been.

From unhelpful to unbearable.

Good morning, Abbott Elementary!

[ Mockingly ] "Good
morning, Abbott Elementary."

So, yeah, I work for
the school district now.

You guys missed a lot.

[ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ]

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Hi. Hey.

Left or right?

Uh, left. Thank you.

Good choice. Good choice.

Girl, this Development Day
has me developing a migraine.

Let me have one of
those aspirins, please.

It's a sleeping pill.

Wake me if there's a fire, a
tornado, or a volcanic eruption.

Good day to the fine teachers
of Abbott Elementary.

What?

No comment about Gregory
being "F-O-I-N, foin"?

No, Ms. Schemmenti. I
was speaking to everyone.

But since all eyes
are on him, uh,

Mr. Eddie, would you mind
reading from the first paragraph

of your immaculately
assembled binder?

Sexily?

Excuse me?

That is not only suggestive

but highly inappropriate

in front of our company.

Uh, hi. Hi, everybody.

Uh, we're from the
school district.

Uh, Principal Coleman
invited us to come, observe,

and collaborate with you
all on this Development Day.

Yes! The importance
of collaboration

is one of the many
things I learned

while I was matriculating
at Cambridge.

Yep. I went to
Harvard this summer.

I sat right there
on their campus,

and I used their free Wi-Fi

to get my degree in Education
via Education Connection.

And I've learned what
it actually takes

to do the job of principal.

And [chuckles] turns out
I've been doing it all wrong.

Somebody should have told me.

Anyway, uh, now I'm engaged
and alert, by the book.

Oh, yeah! I like books
now. [ Chuckles ]

We're super excited to be here

on behalf of the new
superintendent, John Reynolds.

I'm Manny. That's my
dream team over there.

That's Emily. That's Simon.
And we don't come empty-handed.

We come with some
iPads and SMART Boards

for your classrooms,
loaded with learning apps.

[ Applause ]

New and improved models.

Same old engines.

These people aren't gonna
change a blessed thing

except how many bodies
are in the room.

Thank you. And we'll
see you around.

Thank you. [ Applause ]

Gregory, we still need you
to read from section "A"

there in your binder.

Um...

"Section A. Welcome back."

That concludes section "A."

Thank you, Mr. Eddie.
You may be seated.

[ Light applause ]

[ Softly ] "Ask the teachers
if they have any ideas

from over the summer
they'd like to implement.

Try to make it fun."

Does anyone have any
ideas from over the summer

that they'd like to implement?

- Oh.
- Janine!

One of our most...
teachers at Abbott.

So, I was thinking
over the summer

while I was spending time with
myself and just thinking about,

like, what really led me
to this point in my life.

- [ Yawns ] Get to the point.
- Get to the point, Janine.

Yes, okay. So, a Career Day.

I think we should do Career Day
at the school because I checked

and we haven't had one since
the only jobs for women

were typists, moms,
and wet nurses.

I think it'd be a
great way for the kids

to see all of the amazing
jobs they can have.

And that's it. That's my
idea. I'm done. Career Day.

Ava: I could go into the plethora
of reasons that won't work

scheduling, previous
failed attempts,

the fact that it was your idea.

Right, but there is a way...
But I'm just gonna go ahead

and say no and save
you the embarrassment.

Janine: You know, this is my
fourth year teaching here,

and I've wasted a lot of time
trying to fight the odds.

So I've just decided to just
be a good teacher, you know?

Take a page out
of Barbara's book.

Just do what I can. And
maybe start wearing pearls.

Hey. Janine, right? I'm
Manny, which I said up there.

Um, I just wanted to say that,
uh, Career Day sounded good.

It's a good idea. I
would love to hear more.

Thank you! So you guys
are new at the district?

Yep. Just started over the
summer. Loving it so far.

Feel like we're gonna make
a lot of positive changes

and do what the last
administration didn't.

Nobody embezzling
funds on my watch.

[ Chuckles ] Love that.

Oh, hey, uh, actually, one
of the things we wanted

to do today was
shadow a teacher.

Can we shadow you? Yeah, sure.

I'm just gonna be
setting up my classroom.

Exciting! It is exciting.

Yeah. I'm just gonna
grab my co-workers.

They're talking to Principal
Coleman over there.

You guys are so lucky. You
have such a good principal.

Yes.

[ Exhales sharply ] A
little early for this, no?

For Christmas? Maybe.

To watch you lift heavy
stuff in that shirt? Never.

This thing? Well, it
is husband material.

Ha ha ha! Speaking of which

did you hear about Mr. Morton?

What?

He eloped over the summer.

[ Gasps ] Vegas?

Hershey Park. Hm. Classy.

Wow. You approve of that,

but I bring up marriage,
and I get a, "Ha ha ha."

Yeah, yeah, alright.
You just concentrate

on getting that mini
fridge next to an outlet.

A boyfriend brings
it in the room.

A husband sets it
near an outlet.

Well, a booty call
would put it down

wherever I want him to, so
don't make me go find one.

Ha ha ha! [ Laughs ]

So, where'd you teach before
pivoting to the school district?

I didn't, actually. But
I grew up here, though.

My first-hand
experience is more from

when I was a
student in the area.

Oh. Alright. Well, you know,

that's one of the reasons I
wanted to teach at Abbott.

Because I was a student in
the area, as well, so...

This is my room.

What are you making here?

Oh. A "welcome back"
sign for the kids.

We're gonna decorate it together

so that everyone feels included.

I try to implement
a lot of color.

Wanted to go with blue
because that inspires focus.

And calm, which is so
important for primary classes.

I read about that in Chalkbeat.

You read Chalkbeat? Mm-hmm.

I basically live in the
comment section, so...

Oh, my God. Are
you @JTeagues215?

Yes!

And @JTeagues267 when I
wanna spice up the discourse.

Ms. Teagues, I'm
@MannyFromTheBlock.

I'm always using this emoji.

That's you! That's me.

I love your comments.

I love your comments.
[ Chuckles ]

Anyway, I wanted to paint
the walls blue last year,

but you guys... the district

didn't like the idea of
painting walls, so...

What?! Why not? That is so good.

I think that's exactly an idea

that we could and
should implement.

It's a low-stakes,
high-reward improvement.

Yes. Let's revisit that.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Just a lot of
positive reinforcement.

Ahh.

Ava, I have already told you.

I'm not interested
in auditioning

for "The Golden Bachelorette."

Gerald is still very much alive.

Actually, I'm here
about your desks.

When I was at Harvard, I
learned that communal seating

is better for
kindergartners' development.

Well, I like my desks separated.

It's easier for me to...
move about the cabin.

[ High-pitched voice ] I'm little
Jonathan, and I never learned

how to make direct eye
contact with anyone,

and so now they call
me Shifty-Eyed Johnny,

and I can't hold down a job.

Alright. I will take that
into account... if I must.

[ Normal voice ] You
must. District mandate.

Mandate?

And cursive is no longer
in the curriculum.

- Hey! Fancy meeting you here.
- Hey.

Oh, I'm just bringing
in the workbooks.

Oh, there is a ten-for-ten sale

at Nichols School
Supplies, by the way.

Oh [bleep] yeah.

Trying out cursing. Still
getting the hang of it.

How was Baltimore?

Um, it was good.
Yeah, it was good.

I did a really cool
job with my dad

working the grounds
crew for the Orioles.

Mm-hmm. I laid a patch
of Kentucky bluegrass

right by home plate.

It was so flat!

What'd you do over the break?

I just spent a lot
of time with myself.

And it was good for me.

I feel sure, centered, good.

Oh, and Jacob, Erika,
and I started going out

to brunch together.

We're calling ourselves
the Brunchy Bunch.

Why not just the Brunch Bunch?

[Bleep] that's good.
[ Exhales sharply ]

It's just not working for
me, is it? Not quite there.

Hey. Teacher of the
Year. Gregory Eddie.

I heard about that garden
you made out front.

Really cool, man. Oh. Thanks.

I like to do it, and
it makes the school

- and the street look good.
- Sure does.

Uh, Ms. Teagues, could I speak
with you quick, one-on-one?

Sorry to interrupt. No.
All good. Yeah, sure.

And you can call me Janine.

Okay. Janine. Yeah.

Uh, so, I was talking with the
others from the school district.

You seem to have a
ton of great ideas.

There's this fellowship

the Robeson Fellowship
at the district.

We want somebody with
in-field experience

to come enhance what
the district can do

to make schools as
efficient as possible.

That sounds like a
great opportunity.

Yeah, I can help you
find somebody for that.

Well, no, I had
you in mind for it.

Oh. [ Chuckles ]

I'm flattered, but...

You know, the summer is
when I get a little bit

of a break away from school.

This would be during
the school year.

But that's when I'm
doing the schooling.

Yes, well, a sub would
take over your class

while you're with us for the
duration of the fellowship.

[ Chuckles ] Sorry, but no.

I can't imagine being away
from my students, so...

I'm flattered,
but, no, thank you.

Okay. Alright.

Just give it some thought, okay?

You could help make
some real change.

Painted walls are
just the start.

[Bleep]

Feels forced.

This thing. Oh!

Oh, Janine! Check out this
video I'm gonna show the kids.

Common doing a spoken-word
poem about the Korean War.

Oh, that's not spoken word.
He's just rapping a cappella.

Well, tomato, to-mah-toe.

Hey. What do you think about
these new district people?

Oh, I like 'em.

Ooh! I saw you talking
to that cute guy, Manny.

What's his deal?

He's no Gregory...
my king, my guy.

No. No, no, no, no. It
wasn't like that, you know?

He was just asking
me to do something,

work at the district
for a little while,

something about a fellowship.

Oh, my God! The
Robeson Fellowship?!

This is a huge deal, Janine!

They asked you? Why
didn't they ask me?

Manny can sense my
allegiance to Gregory, I bet.

Jacob. You should do it, Janine.

You can make a real difference.

I can't be away from my
classroom for that long.

I'm gonna cry just
thinking about it.

You actually are crying.

Jacob! That is video contraband.

Not allowed in this school.

What?! Why?! It's
not curriculum.

But our textbooks
are so old, Ava.

According to these books,

we still haven't even
pulled out of Iraq yet.

You know, one of the
first things I learned

when I was physically located

within the legal
property lines of Harvard

is that teachers are required
to stick to curriculum

for student safety
and school protection.

Wait. That's my personal
computer! You can't do that!

Did it.

Ava: Welcome back.
First day of school.

Alright. Get in line, kids.

Single-file line.
Tuck them shirts in.

No talking. Boy, you lucky.

Last year's Ava would've
roasted you for looking like

Adam Sandler at a pickup game.

[ Chuckles ] Or Adam
Sandler at a wedding.

Or Adam Sandler at
the Oscars. [ Laughs ]

Now go to class.

Janine: Good morning.
Welcome, welcome.

Welcome, you guys. Alright.

Hey. Hi. You want to sit here?

I don't bite. I'm Ms.
Teagues. What's your name?

- Alex.
- Alex. Nice to meet you.

Alright! You guys!

Welcome to second
grade. You made it!

Let me just say it's really cool
you guys get to be the first

to use our brand-new iPads.

These are old.

Brand-new iPads to us

because Abbott Elementary
is on the forefront

of cutting-edge technology.

My iPad is dead.

Students: Ours, too!

Uh, okay.

Um, alright. That's okay.

How about we just have you guys
share with them over there?

This one's on 7%.

Um, alright.

We can just charge
them while we work.

And we only have two chargers.

[ Exhales deeply ]

Did you see the cherry Ring Pop

Gary left in the
vending machine?

Melissa: Gosh. He is too much.

Girl, he's sending you signals.

He's just joking.

You know how men joke about
that stuff all the time.

No, I do not. I do
not know of one man

who would ask his
girlfriend's friend

for her correct
ring size as a joke.

He's probably, like,
getting me a Super Bowl

replica ring or something.

[ Chuckles ] [ Door opens ]

Okay. Ava's literally
gate keeping

when I can use the garden.

She put a padlock
on my kumquats.

She is making me rearrange
the seating in my classroom,

throwing off decades of
good educational fêng shui.

She made me replace
my mop water.

But the best stuff is
like a sourdough starter

the older it is,
the better it gets.

Alright. L-Let's relax.

Ava is finally the principal
she is supposed to be,

so I say we give her a shot

just like we give this new
whole-grain tofu spot a shot

for lunch today
because it's my pick.

Who's ready to get antioxidated?

Great news, everyone... there
are no more free periods.

Instead, everyone will be
volunteering for lunch duty,

hall monitoring,
library management,

et cetera... at all times.

Well, at least we can
still enjoy our lunches.

Oh! And no more
off-campus lunches.

It's against policy.

She must be stopped.

Yeah, the "library to
librarian" ratio is troubling,

but nothing we can't fix.

[ Laughs ] Listen.

Speaking of, could you look into

getting a McFlurry
machine for my classroom?

Because the "McFlurry
machine to classroom" ratio,

t-that's also way off.

We can't do that.

Typical.

Hey. Manny?

Hey. Hey.

So, you said to mention
ideas, and I think I have one.

Okay. Love the iPads
that you gave us,

but I was just thinking
it would be cool

if we had more
chargers for charging.

You know, like three
or four or seven...

Or eight. Hey, you
said it, not me.

Yeah. Guys, we should make sure
that we have enough chargers

for the iPads in
all the classrooms.

Yes. Yes.

Yeah.

And I'm just throwing this
out there, that, um, you know,

LeapFrog tablets
could be better.

Ooh! Yes!

They're built for student
use, more cost-efficient.

Right. And they haven't
changed their cords in years.

See? This is why I knew you'd be
a great fit for the fellowship.

Oh. I know that you don't want

to be away from your class,

so would it help if I told
you that you would get to be

at Abbott once or
even twice a week?

Really? Yeah, the
fellowship is built

so that you stay on the
ground with a pilot school

where you can still hear
from all your teachers

and test out all your new ideas.

Well, that's nice to hear.

And I don't want to
sound money-hungry,

but is there a pay raise?

Two dollars.

Two dollars?! That's
like a million dollars!

Simon: Well...

Hey, we don't make this offer
just to any teacher, okay?

You got a knack for doing this.

Jacob: Yeah, and if
she says no, you gotta

you've gotta find
somebody else, right?

And if it's about diversity,

let me tell you that I am queer.

It's not.

I-I'm fun to be around?

Emily: Hi, there. Ow.

Everything okay?

Oh, fine, fine.

Just trying to move these desks
the way you people want them.

Can we help you? No,
I don't have the time

to file the paperwork
just to move a desk.

No, I can help
you with the desk.

The legendary Mrs. Howard.

I haven't had a chance to
connect with you yet, but...

I hear you're the one.

Charmed.

We're actually
working on a program

to get assistants
in the classroom

at the beginning
of the school year

instead of you
having to request one

that doesn't get
here until January.

Thank you. I do not need
a whole song and dance.

And thank you for your help.

You don't trust us, do you?

Honestly? No.

I've seen many versions of
you walk through that door,

all with nice smiles,
appearing to care.

Mrs. Howard, I get it.

I know what this district was,

and I am aware of
how I come off,

but I don't know
any other way to be.

I started working
at the district

because I saw that
it needed to change,

for students, like the
student that I was,

for teachers like you,

and for teachers like my mom.

Your mom's an educator?

She was, and before she retired,

I listened to her complain
about the district

every single year
for 20 years. Hm.

I just wanted to make
the job easier for her.

So I can't make you trust me,

but I'm not gonna stop trying
to make the job easier.

And that goes for
me and my team.

It was a pleasure, Mrs. Howard.

[ Intercom beeps ] Ava:
Break it up, slackers!

Yeah, I'm talking to you...
Mrs. Miller, Ms. Schemmenti,

ponytail guy.

Yeah, that's right.

I got cameras all
over this place.

Just to make sure
we're always working

to make Abbott a brighter place!

Well, we made a plan to
solve this Ava problem.

We need to, like, reset her.

We looked for a button.
There wasn't one.

So we decided to tempt her
with things we know she loves.

First, money. Ohh!

We sent Jacob in looking
incredibly scammable.

Second, her love
of skipping work.

In this case, for an Usher show.

Ahhh! Nothing has worked so far,

so now we're pulling
out the big guns.

Ready?

No. Barbara: Oh, come on.

We cannot stand any
more of this "new Ava,"

and unfortunately, you
are a very powerful tool.

Tool? You're literally
objectifying me.

Objects don't talk.

Bro, dawg, do you
want to continue

to live under this new regime?

- No.
- Then you know what we must do.

Take it off. Take
off the sweater.

Are we sure there's
no other way?

Hush. Roll up a sleeve

and tastefully welcome
her to the gun show.

And then lean against the
door frame. You know how.

Can I help you with something?

[ Sultry voice ]
Well, it depends.

All these rules are so

hard... and rigid...

Well, here's a rule.

Put your arms away,
Jeremy Allen Black.

This is a school.

Please.

Okay. Look. We
need old Ava back!

Barbara: Mm-hmm.

Well, she's dead and gone.

I lead now. I communicate.

I haven't listened to
the City Girls in months.

This is who I am now.

Mm-hmm.

Well, I guess this
is just life now.

If Gregory's arms didn't
work, nothing will.

Oh, no.

There's one card we can play.

But we're gonna have to go low.

Nay... get low.

Janine: Hey, Barbara. Hey.

Oh! You changed your desks.

Mandate.

These new district people...
they smile in your face

and tell you your ideas are
good, but they suck, right?

You know, I can't believe
I'm gonna say this, but...

I actually have hope
for this new group.

I think they can make change.

Wh... Seriously?!

Wow! I was really hoping
for a "Barbara Bummer."

And what would that be?

Uh, it's when you tell
me everything's trash

and that people are useless
and I shouldn't have hope.

Beside the fact that I have
never said any of that,

I've had a change of heart.

I think this new group,
there's something there.

Something genuine. [ Scoffs ]

What?

They offered me a fellowship,

this thing where I can
go work at the district

and help them bring
big ideas to life

for all the Philly schools,
and I turned it down.

Well, you don't seem
happy you turned it down.

I've been doing this
for three years now,

and I finally got it in my brain

that you just have to accept
the things you can't change.

Just be. Just be a good teacher.

Stop dreaming, I guess.

Dreamers are the only people

that can bring about
a different reality.

Do you really want
this fellowship?

Maybe. Sweetheart, you know
that you still have Abbott

to come home to when it ends.

[ Laptop closes ]

And now, if you will excuse me,

I've got to go save the school.

[ Janine chuckles ]

What?

Ava! You're needed in the gym!

Yeah, there's a bunch
of teachers in there

saying Princeton's
better than Harvard.

Oh, hell no!

Okay, we have like two minutes,

so can you please fill us in on
the rest of this genius plan?

Ava said she stopped
listening to the Town Women.

- City Girls.
- But I know there's one song

she cannot resist.

Jacob, whip out
the Walkman. Phone.

Open up Napster. Spotify.

Jesus, close your ears. Come on.

Princeton is the Temple
University of the Ivies!

Barbara: Now, Mr. Johnson!

Let go of your butts.

[ Juvenile's "Back
That Azz Up" plays ]

What the hell?

No. No.

Not today, Juvenile.

♪♪

No.

♪ Girl, you workin' with
some... yeah, you bad, yeah ♪

♪ Make a... spend his cash,
yeah, his last, yeah ♪

♪ ...frown when you pass,
yeah, they mad, yeah ♪

♪ You gon' ride in the Jag,
yeah, with that head ♪ Aaah!

♪ You could smoke or buy a bag,
yeah, of... yeah ♪ Aah! [ Laughs ]

♪ Got money I can flash,
yeah, and trash, yeah ♪

♪ I'm a big-timer... yeah,
pull the trigger, yeah ♪ Yeah!

I'm back, y'all!

So, Ava, can we have our
free periods back now?

Y'all can do whatever you want.

Mr. Johnson, find my ring light.

I'm about to be on
IG Live all day.

Yes! Hey!

Melissa: Go, Ava! Go, Ava!

Gregory: So it turns
out the only thing worse

than Ava being an
awful principal

is Ava being a good one.

You should have
been there, Janine.

We tried everything
to get her back.

Gregory even flexed his muscles.

You flexed?

Yeah. [ Laughs ]

Well, did you guys try just
playing "Back That Azz Up"?

Because that...

[ Gasps ] How did
you know to do that?

Wow. You really are
district material.

Oh, stop.

Oh! Um...

So, Manny offered me a
fellowship at the district.

And I'm like 80/20 on doing it.

So you'd leave Abbott?

Well, yeah, but not permanently.

Well, I am happy for you.
And jealous. And sad.

I'm emotional, which
calls for shots.

Can you see about my
cheese fries, please?

Uh, wow. Well, congrats.

Mm!

But I haven't made
my mind up yet.

Just haven't decided.

Look. You'd be perfect for it.

What?

What? What? You...

Uh, no, it's great.
It really is.

It's just it'd be weird,
you not being at Abbott.

Yeah. It's... It's a
fantastic opportunity.

Mm-hmm. But I don't know.

When I think of
Abbott, I think of you,

and when I think of
you, I think of Abbott.

Yeah. No, I know.

And I'm gonna miss my students.

I'm gonna miss... my classroom.

I'm gonna miss knocking
on that wall to chat.

I'm gonna miss that, too.

You're really gonna leave us?

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Happy Career Day, Ava.

There's no such thing
as a happy career.

To work is to lose in life.

Good to have her back.

Oh, no. No, no, no. You
haven't missed anything.

Nothing is weird with Gregory.

I basically just decided to
go work with the district,

and, you know, Gregory
and I are good.

Me and Janine?

Yeah, no, w-we're fine. It's...

It's... It's ju...
It's nothing weird.

Oh, hell yeah, something
weird's going on

between Gregory and Janine.
They ain't tell you?

Well, lucky for y'all, my hidden
cameras picked up everything.

Y'all gonna love this.

- Hey.
- Hey.

That was a fun hang
the other night, right?

It was. I really like
that place. Me too.

But you think the camera crew
got home safe, though, right?

I mean, we did tell them
it was a rough area.

Yeah, I'm sure they're fine.

They're probably all
just sick or something.

What are the chances
they all got robbed?

[ Laughs ]

Hey, so, I was thinking
about the field trip

from last year to the
museum... Okay, uh-huh.

And particularly the part

where you told me that
you had feelings for me.

And I had some, too, I guess.

And I basically still
have those feelings.

I realized it at the bar.

Yeah?

So I don't know. I
was wondering if maybe

what if now, we could try
to explore that, try to...

I don't know.

[ Chuckles ] Uh...

Wow. Um...

Definitely didn't
see that coming.

I know. [ Chuckles ] Me either.

Uh...

Honestly, Janine, in my mind,

I had kind of put
a period on that.

Out of respect, you know? Yeah.

It just... I-It
seem... [ Sighs ]

I mentally moved on,

and it seemed like
that was kind of the

the right thing to do, so I did.

Mm-hmm, right. I mean,
just so you know,

I wasn't saying
we should never...

Okay, yeah, no,
but, like, you know

even with you changing
your mind right now,

it just feels like
it would be safer...

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
For both of us if

we were just friends.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Mm-hmm, definitely.

You know? 'Cause I really
value what we have.

So do I. And I don't
want this to get all...

Yeah. You know what I mean?

I get it. I really do.
I understand. Okay.

Safer is better. Safe is great.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[ Keyboard clacks ]

Look at Janine's face.

[ Laughs ]

She mad.

Janine: Good morning, everyone.

We are so excited. And
let me just tell you.

This isn't your
mother's Career Day.

No, it's not! Yeah.

Though we're sure
all your mothers

have vibrant
professional careers.

Yeah, if they so choose.

Uh, the main goal
of this fellowship

is piloting new
programs and initiatives

for the entire district.

Which is why I've spent
the last four months

making sure that
Career Day is a fresh

and impactful experience
for students, staff,

and professionals all
over this great city.

- All over.
- It's major.

- Yeah!
- Connections will be made.

- Mm-hmm.
- Dreams will be born.

- Wow!
- Janines will be quiet?

Janine: Okay. Um...

So, for you, Mrs. Murphy,
an anesthesiologist.

For Mrs. Howard, a
licensed cosmetologist.

- Ohh!
- Lovely.

Cosmetology is quite
lucrative these days. Mm-hmm.

Um, a zoologist for
my class... Sorry.

I mean, the substitute...
Ms. Lee's class.

I don't like animals.

Well, the students
will love it, uh, so...

Ms. Schemmenti, we have a
marketing professional...

Boo... From the
Philadelphia Eagles.

Yes! Hell yes! [ Laughter ]

What about me? Tell me I got
him. Please, please, please.

Yes, Jacob. As requested,
you have Mr. Johnson.

Yes! Oh! He's had, like,
every job under the sun.

Very useful in
today's gig economy.

Oh, the places we'll go.

Um, and for Mr. Eddie,

you'll have a botanist
from the Longwood Gardens.

Cool. Thank you, Ms. Teagues.

Welcome. Okay.

Barbara: Hey, Gary.

I thought you restocked the
vending machines yesterday.

Oh, I'm here to dispense
more than just high sodium.

Yeah, he's here for Career
Day. This man has got a 401(k).

It's all in quarters,
but, hey, money's money!

Yeah.

I'm really loving Career
Day, though. Mm-hmm.

I'm hoping that cosmetologist
will do my nails also.

Oh, maybe she could
do your nails, too.

You never know when you're
gonna need a ring photo.

[ Laughs ]

I'm just teasing. Just teasing.

Okay. Yeah, I know.

'Cause you love to make
these little jokes.

But, uh, yeah, just checking
in that we're on the same page

'cause, like, Gary, you know

I don't want to get
married again, right? Hm.

Like, I did it before. I
don't want to do it again.

Yeah. I got ya. Okay. Okay.

Just 'cause I want us
to be clear, alright?

Mm-hmm. So it would take, like,

a miracle for me to want
to get hitched again.

Alright. Okay.

I get it. Alright.

Like, an absolute
freakin' miracle!

Thank you all so
much for coming.

It means a lot to the
kids to be able to see

all the different
career possibilities.

We cannot pay you enough.
You're paying us nothing.

And I assure you that any
amount would not be enough.

Ooh! I can't believe
it's finally here.

All these weeks of
work for one day.

I can't blow this.

[ Sighs ] If I mess this up,

the district won't let
me pitch anything else.

That's right.

Yeah, I tanked the roll out
for electric school buses,

and I haven't been allowed
to speak in meetings since.

It's gonna be great.

Okay. This is you.

Hey.

Hi.

Right. Oh. Pbht.

And this just gets
harder and harder

because they go crazy for me.

Hey, guys!

They get tired after lunch.

It's 8:30. Is it?

I don't think it...

I see why they're being weird.

She put the date on the bottom
of the board instead of the top.

Classic mistake. Let me just...

What do you think you're doing?

Oh, I was gonna put the date
at the top of the board.

I like my dates at the
bottom. And I like to fight.

Oh.

Territorial behavior.
Pretty common in the wild.

Yes. You see that in the
kingdom all the time.

Now, let's see those cheetahs.

I did not bring any cheetahs.

Okay. Let's see a cheetah.

I brought a fake sloth.

Really? That's what you brought?

So, what I do is make a little
palm tree on the forehead,

then a straight
line down my nose,

all the way to the
cupid's bow area.

Mrs. Howard, if
you're interested,

you can find my tutorials
on Instagram and TikTok.

No. I've been doing my makeup
now for well over 30 years.

And you look fantastic, but
maybe some face contouring

and some under painting could
take you to the next level.

Maybe that would be alright.

When you put these two kinds
of fruit trees close together,

that can lead to...
Cross-pollination!

Sorry. I was, um...
just trying to help.

You know, this summer, I...

Worked with the Orioles
grounds crew. Yeah.

You mentioned it. Several times.

Were you the guy that got
caught under the tarp?

[ Students laughing ]

Kentucky bluegrass
is slippery. Ah.

Well, at this point in my story,
you may be asking yourself,

"How did you get elected
to the state senate?"

Yes. I was asking myself that.

Well, it's real simple.

You see, the incumbent passed
away right before the election.

Everybody would just vote for
him when they saw his name.

Just so happens that this man's
name was also Mr. Johnson.

I got myself on the ballot,
and the rest is history.

Anyway, I served three terms,
and we won the Cold War.

So, then I come over here
and I create a hyperlink,

which I then put in an e-mail

that I... blast to
our platinum members.

And the comes the
fun part. We wait.

This guy does not
look like an Eagle.

Melissa: Hey. Pipe down.

He could be a punter if
he wanted to. Go ahead.

Thank you. No, that...
You know, that's okay.

It happens all the time.

That's why I've
arranged a special guest

to come say hi to everyone.

I think you might
like him more than me.

Well, I mean, if we
start a database,

then there's no reason
not to do Career Day

in every school across the city.

And if we're short
on volunteers,

we can get vocational schools to
send students over for credit.

That is brilliant.
Zoologist: Hey!

Why did you invite me here just
to speak to an empty classroom?

All the kids left.
The teacher left.

I just brought my fake
sloth for nothing?

- What?
- Yeah.

- Whoa, whoa!
- Hey, guys! No running!

Hey, no running! Guys!
Ava, what is going on?!

The world's finest starting
quarterback is here!

Everybody move! What?

Excuse me. Excuse me, excuse
me, excuse me. S-Sorry.

Oh, my God.

Hey, little girl.

Look at you all dressed
up for Career Day.

[ Laughter ]

Good one, Jalen Hurts. Heh.

Melissa. How is Jalen Hurts
on your screen right now?

Because sometimes God
has favorites, Janine.

America's sweetheart is here

thanks to that boat
shoe-wearing hero over there!

It's an absolute
freakin' miracle!

Do we get to talk to Jalen, too?

Oh. No, kids. I don't
think Jalen Hurts

is gonna be able to stay.

Career Day blows!

This makes me want
to never work.

Alright. That's dramatic.

Dang it, Eagles marketing guy.

Why'd you have to
go above and beyond?

Why couldn't you just bring
Eagles pencils or something?

J, since we only have but
so much time together,

uh, I was wondering

what do you dream
about at night?

That I'm the prince of the
Underwater Kingdom of Atlantis.

[ Giggling ]

Hey.

I got a crazy favor to ask you.

I got it. I got it.
Let's call an audible.

We'll get the video link
set up in every classroom,

then we'll take the kids back to
the rooms with their teachers.

We get Jalen to talk
to everybody at once.

And we've got eight
charged iPads now,

so that shouldn't be a problem.

Now, that's a great play!

Ready for kickoff.

Oh, my gosh.
"District" on three?

- Absolutely.
- Okay. One, two, three!

All: District! Ava: Nerds!

Mnh. Janine: Okay.

People around you and have
fun with them, as well.

Hey! Jalen, um, you might
remember me from earlier.

Janine Teagues
from the district.

Do you think you can
give us like 10 minutes

so we can put you
in every classroom?

For the kids, I got all
the time in the world,

as long as it's wrapped
up in 10 minutes.

I gotta get to
practice. Thank you!

Your face is
incredible! Excuse me.

Oh, my gosh. That
could've been a mess.

But we found a solution.

No kids or professionals
feel left out,

and Jalen meets every
class. [ Students cheer ]

Efficient after all.

As the gworls say, "I ate that."

I consumed it!

Jalen: Thank you to
everyone who took the time

out of their day to be here.

After football, I have
to start another career,

so I wish I had been there

to hear the other
professionals talk.

Now, before I go,
there's a special someone

who wants to propose

because...

"This love feels
like the first down,"

and he wants to be in the
end zone of your heart.

"Let's touch down on
our future together."

Is Jalen Hurts proposing to me?

I don't think so.

You said it would
take a miracle.

And there's no clearer
sign than me being able

to get Jalen Hurts to
be part of the proposal.

So I'm throwing a Hail Mary.

Melissa Ann Caterina Schemmenti

will you marry me?

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

[ Crying ] No.

[ Students groan ]

Damn! They usually say yes.

Babe. Why not?

Hey, man. You're
late for practice.

Dude, what's happening?

He just asked me to
ask her to marry him.

And she said no.
Another proposal?

Jalen, you've gotta say
no to this kind of stuff.

Boundaries.

You know my boundary's
porous as hell.

I-I really thought
we had a great thing.

It has been great.
Really. It has.

But I just...

Gar, I don't want to
get married again.

And I told you
this. Like, a lot.

I know. I... I... I just thought

if the perfect moment
ever came around.

And then suddenly, Jalen
freakin' Hurts is...

Melissa: Oh, my God. Gary:
Talking to your class. I mean...

Hey, guys. I think maybe
you should take this outside

because everyone is watching,
and I don't think you want that.

Yeah. Okay, class, uh...

Ms. Schemmenti's gonna
step outside for a sec.

Guys, watch 'em, okay?

Oh, you guys don't
have to do that.

Heads down, thumbs up.
Time to play seven up!

They actually listened.

Have you ever
considered teaching?

Uh... y'all hiring?

I mostly work on Sundays.

[ Laughs ]

That's really funny.

So, what do we do now?

You really want to get married?

I really want to get married.

And you deserve that.

But, Gar, I'm never
getting married again.

I... I-I don't need
to be convinced.

This is my truth.

Maybe the best
thing for both of us

is not each other.

So.

We're breaking up?

I hate to say it,
but I think so.

I'm okay. I'll be alright.

Even though I feel
like a zero right now.

Well, honey, you're not a zero.

You're a Philly 11.

[ Laughs ]

So the bald guy was
on his knee, right?

And Ms. Schemmenti's
like, "Not today."

Shh, shh. She's back.
She's back. Sit down.

We just wanna say, we think
it's cool you trusted your gut.

You're cold, but you're bold.

And as a man with an
all-woman management team,

I support a woman's
right to stand up

for what she wants
or doesn't want.

[ Sighs, sniffles ]

Get to practice, you guys.

Alright, now.

Bye, Jalen Hurts.

I mean, it could've
been worse, right?

I think now we know. We... We
lay some ground rules, right?

No football players. No
football at all, to be safe.

No proposals. What
are you doing in here?

Oh. Um, Ava hasn't given
me any office space.

Well, this is my mop's office,

and we're about to have
an important meeting.

Yes! That's... Hey, guys.

I am so sorry about that.

Sorry about what?
That was a mess.

It wasn't streamlined at all.

I know that's the
key to the district

picking up these
things. I mean...

Uh, Jalen Hurts was
here. [ Laughter ]

That alone makes
this event a success.

The kids loved it.

Anybody can execute under
perfect circumstances.

You know how to improvise.

Well, I do watch a lot of
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

It's usually Wayne Brady's.

Right?! I know!

[ Laughter ]

Ooh! This look is a
slay, Mrs. Howard.

It's giving grade-A baddie.

Well, period to that.

I could never do this
on my own every day,

but it's nice to see
what I could look like.

Thank you.

Ohh.

Oh.

Gerald, honey, grab your gators

'cause we are going out tonight
'cause Mama looks good, baby.

[ Bell rings ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Ms. Lee: Okay. Let's keep
some order. That'll be it.

Gregory: Okay. Really think about
the career you want to pursue.

Also remember, superhero...
not really a career.

[ Knock on door ]

Janine: Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Uh, how do you feel about
your first Career Day?

Oh. You know, it was...
it was actually good.

The kids loved it.

Well, you should feel
really great about it.

And that botanist that
you brought in taught me

how to use borage as a cover
crop to improve the soil.

We're about to have some of
the richest radishes in Philly.

I'm sorry. You... You
just are the only person

I know that gets this
excited about radishes.

Well, it's one of the
only foods that I love.

It's dry, bitter. Bitter, yeah.

It's, like, perfect.

Yeah, I know. [ Laughs ]

Your fave.

I miss this.

Just chatting about our days.

It's...

Oh, my God. Me too. So much.

Like, anytime
anything happens here,

I want to tell you about it.

Really? Yes!

Like, earlier with
Melissa and Gary? Yeah.

She said no to him in
front of the Eagles?

I just wanted to
tell you immediately.

Wow. That's... Okay.

Yeah, 'cause the
vibes were just off.

Yeah, it was weird.

I was kind of just
giving you your space.

I noticed that.

Why?

Well, I thought our conversation
was the reason why you left.

Oh, my God. N-No.

No, no, no, no.

I really respected
what you said.

I only left because I wanted to
try working for the district.

That was it.

Well, that's good to hear.

Okay.

So, I heard you got
caught under a tarp?

What, do you have, like,
a Google alert for me?

No, I have a Google alert for
humiliating tarp incidents.

Hmm. Don't you have a lot of
work to do at the district?

Mr. Johnson: Right when I
thought I was finally a made man,

they had the audacity
to try and whack me!

Can you believe that?

So after making short
work of those goons,

I left Sicily, officially
became an American citizen,

and landed here.

I tried about 400 careers

until I picked up this
mop and never looked back.

I still can't look at
tortellini the same.

Anyway, janitorial work
is self-explanatory.

You've seen me around.
You know what I do.

Jacob: Ohh...

[ Cheers and applause ]

Jacob: Yeah! Whoo!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Captions by VITAC...