Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,635 --> 00:00:03,335
This is a really
special day, Charlie.
2
00:00:03,247 --> 00:00:06,814
I never thought I'd see myself
in a long-term relationship.
3
00:00:06,689 --> 00:00:08,355
Happy one-month anniversary.
4
00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,954
Hey, guys!
5
00:00:12,902 --> 00:00:16,102
Enjoying your lunch?
6
00:00:15,993 --> 00:00:19,060
Okay, this has been fun.
I-I'll see ya later.
7
00:00:18,956 --> 00:00:20,522
Oh, Caitlin, I'm sorry.
8
00:00:20,484 --> 00:00:21,718
Why don't you join us?
9
00:00:21,695 --> 00:00:23,163
I don't want to interrupt.
10
00:00:23,130 --> 00:00:24,596
That's all right. Ahem.
11
00:00:24,563 --> 00:00:27,397
I should moisturize.
12
00:00:27,303 --> 00:00:30,236
Actually, I have to bring this food back
to the office, so maybe some other time.
13
00:00:30,139 --> 00:00:31,572
How about the three of us
have dinner tonight?
14
00:00:31,542 --> 00:00:33,175
Oh, I'd love that.
15
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,268
See you later.
16
00:00:35,205 --> 00:00:36,704
That's very sweet of you,
17
00:00:36,671 --> 00:00:38,838
inviting Caitlin to dinner
with us.
18
00:00:38,774 --> 00:00:41,308
Well, I want to get to know
your friends.
19
00:00:42,948 --> 00:00:44,614
Oh, great.
20
00:00:44,573 --> 00:00:47,272
I just spotted my ex.
21
00:00:47,185 --> 00:00:49,585
Um, you know what?
Maybe we should leave.
22
00:00:49,512 --> 00:00:52,211
I don't want this to be awkward
for you.
23
00:00:52,124 --> 00:00:53,357
Jennifer...
24
00:00:53,335 --> 00:00:55,635
I'm not the jealous type.
25
00:00:55,565 --> 00:00:57,831
I'm a secure
and confident guy.
26
00:00:57,763 --> 00:01:00,498
I mean, you do think I'm
confident, don't you?
27
00:01:00,409 --> 00:01:02,075
Of course you are.
28
00:01:02,034 --> 00:01:03,633
So...
29
00:01:03,594 --> 00:01:07,061
Who is it, the eurodude with
too much hair product?
30
00:01:06,940 --> 00:01:09,606
No, uh, over a bit.
31
00:01:09,521 --> 00:01:12,621
It's the scrawny guy next to
the babe in the halter top?
32
00:01:12,515 --> 00:01:15,415
No, it's the babe
in the halter top.
33
00:01:20,576 --> 00:01:24,310
Well, you've got good taste.
34
00:01:47,372 --> 00:01:49,639
Oh, Caitlin,
I have a question for you.
35
00:01:49,571 --> 00:01:52,138
A friend of mine...
let's call him "John"...
36
00:01:52,056 --> 00:01:54,289
is having trouble
with his girlfriend.
37
00:01:54,222 --> 00:01:56,923
Now, John has been
under a lot of stress lately
38
00:01:56,836 --> 00:01:58,969
'cause he's the mayor
of a large city
39
00:01:58,906 --> 00:02:00,573
in the middle of an election.
40
00:02:00,532 --> 00:02:01,632
Sir...
41
00:02:01,615 --> 00:02:03,549
Sir, are you John?
42
00:02:03,495 --> 00:02:04,928
Busted.
43
00:02:04,896 --> 00:02:06,696
Anyway...
44
00:02:06,649 --> 00:02:08,816
Claire thinks that I'm being
selfish
45
00:02:08,751 --> 00:02:11,651
because I insist that we always
stay at my place.
46
00:02:11,556 --> 00:02:13,789
Well, sir?
Sir, if I may suggest...
47
00:02:13,723 --> 00:02:15,923
Carter, please, I need a woman's
perspective.
48
00:02:15,857 --> 00:02:17,457
Well...
49
00:02:17,418 --> 00:02:19,485
Frankly, sir, I think Claire's
right.
50
00:02:19,425 --> 00:02:21,292
You were saying?
51
00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:23,442
Well, sir,
Claire just wants to know
52
00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:24,776
that you're equals
in this relationship.
53
00:02:24,746 --> 00:02:25,947
Just make a gesture.
54
00:02:25,925 --> 00:02:28,025
Let her know you're sensitive
to her feelings.
55
00:02:27,965 --> 00:02:32,798
Carter,
you sure know women.
56
00:02:32,616 --> 00:02:36,883
Walk with me.
57
00:02:36,727 --> 00:02:38,794
Stuart... ahem.
58
00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:41,134
You've had a lot of sexual
experiences, right?
59
00:02:41,059 --> 00:02:43,093
Right.
60
00:02:43,035 --> 00:02:46,702
And some of them have been
with other people?
61
00:02:49,090 --> 00:02:51,889
Some.
62
00:02:51,798 --> 00:02:54,065
I need to talk about
something personal.
63
00:02:53,996 --> 00:02:55,696
Can we do it later?
64
00:02:55,652 --> 00:02:57,886
My mother's gonna be calling
any second.
65
00:02:57,819 --> 00:02:59,586
We haven't talked
in two years.
66
00:02:59,540 --> 00:03:02,573
I found out that Jennifer has
been with a woman.
67
00:03:02,472 --> 00:03:05,071
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
68
00:03:10,214 --> 00:03:12,214
Continue.
69
00:03:12,157 --> 00:03:14,523
Usually, I'd think this type
of thing was cool,
70
00:03:14,450 --> 00:03:16,384
but I don't know,
this is different.
71
00:03:16,331 --> 00:03:18,531
Charlie, I've found there are
three stages
72
00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:19,833
in dating a bisexual woman.
73
00:03:19,804 --> 00:03:24,070
Stage one... cool, great,
loving it.
74
00:03:23,913 --> 00:03:25,280
Stage two...
75
00:03:25,253 --> 00:03:28,320
you start to think
maybe you can't satisfy her
76
00:03:28,216 --> 00:03:29,483
the way a woman can.
77
00:03:29,458 --> 00:03:31,358
Stage three...
78
00:03:31,306 --> 00:03:33,507
you were right.
79
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:35,573
You're wrong.
80
00:03:35,512 --> 00:03:37,612
Jennifer's totally
into our relationship.
81
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:40,284
In fact, she invited Caitlin
to dinner tonight
82
00:03:40,195 --> 00:03:42,829
because she wants to get
to know my friends.
83
00:03:42,745 --> 00:03:45,411
So she wants to get to know
84
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:50,192
your hot, blond, female friend?
85
00:03:50,009 --> 00:03:51,842
Yeah, you got nothing
to worry about.
86
00:03:55,776 --> 00:03:58,542
Hey, Charlie, it was great
seeing you and Jennifer.
87
00:03:58,452 --> 00:04:01,186
She's a real girl's girl.
88
00:04:01,097 --> 00:04:04,330
What do you mean
"girl's girl"?
89
00:04:04,219 --> 00:04:07,319
I don't know, she's the first
woman you've dated
90
00:04:07,215 --> 00:04:09,382
who's shown
any interest in me.
91
00:04:09,318 --> 00:04:12,884
Yeah, well, she sleeps
with me and loves it.
92
00:04:18,972 --> 00:04:21,306
I can't believe this.
93
00:04:21,233 --> 00:04:25,201
A sister Agnes just called me
from Claudia's convent.
94
00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:27,157
Apparently, Claudia wants half
my money
95
00:04:27,096 --> 00:04:28,430
in our divorce settlement.
96
00:04:28,403 --> 00:04:30,369
Why didn't Claudia call you
herself?
97
00:04:30,315 --> 00:04:32,615
When Claudia left me
to become a nun,
98
00:04:32,545 --> 00:04:33,978
she took a vow of silence.
99
00:04:33,946 --> 00:04:36,580
Silence and celibacy...
that's tough.
100
00:04:36,496 --> 00:04:38,695
Yeah, luckily, our marriage
prepared her for both.
101
00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:41,905
She's trying to get
at my nest egg.
102
00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:43,249
I've been saving that money
103
00:04:43,218 --> 00:04:45,351
since I made that cash
at my bar mitzvah.
104
00:04:45,289 --> 00:04:47,056
Paul,
you're not even jewish.
105
00:04:47,011 --> 00:04:48,977
Yeah, well, none of the kids
at my breakdance party
106
00:04:48,923 --> 00:04:50,155
seemed to care.
107
00:04:50,133 --> 00:04:53,600
Oh, the arbitration is
tomorrow. I'm screwed.
108
00:04:53,478 --> 00:04:57,844
I'll say. What judge isn't
gonna favor a nun?
109
00:04:57,683 --> 00:05:00,550
Maybe
the mayor's girlfriend.
110
00:05:00,455 --> 00:05:01,622
Claire is a judge.
111
00:05:01,603 --> 00:05:03,070
She likes the mayor.
112
00:05:03,037 --> 00:05:05,737
The mayor likes me.
Therefore, she likes me.
113
00:05:05,649 --> 00:05:08,382
If she presides over
the arbitration, I'll win!
114
00:05:08,294 --> 00:05:11,394
It's a perfect plan! Paul, the
last time you had a perfect plan,
115
00:05:11,289 --> 00:05:13,790
the paramedics had to pump
quarters out of your stomach.
116
00:05:17,470 --> 00:05:20,504
Sorry I'm late.
I could not get across town.
117
00:05:20,402 --> 00:05:22,534
Oh, do you go through the park
or take 59th street?
118
00:05:22,472 --> 00:05:24,939
I go both ways.
119
00:05:24,862 --> 00:05:28,129
I like to pick one way
and stick with it.
120
00:05:28,017 --> 00:05:29,449
Here, have a seat.
121
00:05:34,198 --> 00:05:37,298
So, have you seen any movies
lately?
122
00:05:37,192 --> 00:05:39,659
I just got "dirty Harry"
on DVD.
123
00:05:39,583 --> 00:05:41,049
It's pretty awesome.
124
00:05:41,016 --> 00:05:42,749
Oh, I hated that movie.
125
00:05:42,705 --> 00:05:43,805
Me too.
126
00:05:43,788 --> 00:05:45,988
It's just two hours
of male bravado.
127
00:05:45,923 --> 00:05:48,223
Stupid movie.
128
00:05:48,153 --> 00:05:50,586
Charlie told me you're not
seeing anyone.
129
00:05:50,510 --> 00:05:53,110
I cannot believe that.
You are so beautiful.
130
00:05:53,027 --> 00:05:55,361
Caitlin's just waiting
for the perfect guy.
131
00:05:55,290 --> 00:05:56,524
Mr. right.
132
00:05:57,870 --> 00:05:59,504
A man.
133
00:05:59,464 --> 00:06:03,064
We ordered some appetizers.
You have to try my calamari.
134
00:06:02,936 --> 00:06:04,936
Mmm!
135
00:06:04,881 --> 00:06:06,647
It's delicious.
136
00:06:06,601 --> 00:06:08,601
Try some more.
137
00:06:08,545 --> 00:06:09,779
Mmm.
138
00:06:11,157 --> 00:06:12,257
Here.
139
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:13,541
Taste mine.
140
00:06:13,515 --> 00:06:16,916
Oh, no, thanks, Charlie.
Um, I don't like ribs.
141
00:06:16,797 --> 00:06:19,130
Stupid ribs.
142
00:06:23,710 --> 00:06:24,811
[LAUGHS]
143
00:06:24,794 --> 00:06:27,461
Well,
don't you look happy.
144
00:06:27,376 --> 00:06:30,276
I'm guessing you got Claire
to preside over your case.
145
00:06:30,179 --> 00:06:32,979
Yep. My money's staying
right where it is...
146
00:06:32,887 --> 00:06:35,587
in a no-interest-bearing
checking account.
147
00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:37,133
Oh, excuse me, ladies!
148
00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:41,092
Do you mind if I read you a
passage from the book of Paul?
149
00:06:40,948 --> 00:06:42,282
I'm not familiar with that.
150
00:06:42,255 --> 00:06:44,355
It's the book
of Paul lassiter.
151
00:06:44,294 --> 00:06:46,194
"And the lord saideth,
152
00:06:46,142 --> 00:06:50,208
'warm up the station wagon,
'cause you're gonna lose.'"
153
00:06:51,973 --> 00:06:53,539
nah.
154
00:06:55,222 --> 00:06:57,689
Great idea, Paul...
heckle the nuns.
155
00:06:57,612 --> 00:06:59,178
[CHUCKLES]
156
00:06:59,141 --> 00:07:00,108
Hello, Claire.
157
00:07:00,097 --> 00:07:01,598
I'm working,
158
00:07:01,563 --> 00:07:03,630
so if you don't mind,
it's "judge Simmons."
159
00:07:03,570 --> 00:07:04,704
Hello, judge Simmons.
160
00:07:04,685 --> 00:07:06,486
Don't "hello" me.
161
00:07:06,438 --> 00:07:10,105
Look, I know that staying over
at the mansion all the time
162
00:07:09,975 --> 00:07:11,775
is very difficult for you,
163
00:07:11,727 --> 00:07:13,994
so I'd like to make
a gesture.
164
00:07:13,925 --> 00:07:17,092
So you're willing to stay over
at my place once in a while?
165
00:07:16,985 --> 00:07:19,884
Oh, God, no.
I got you an overnight bag.
166
00:07:19,788 --> 00:07:21,821
It's a piece of luggage.
167
00:07:21,764 --> 00:07:23,363
That's not a gesture.
168
00:07:23,325 --> 00:07:25,692
It's a parting gift
when you lose on a game show.
169
00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:28,485
It has wheels. See?
170
00:07:28,391 --> 00:07:29,690
This is unbelievable.
171
00:07:29,664 --> 00:07:31,332
You don't know how
to compromise, do you?
172
00:07:32,787 --> 00:07:34,387
I compromise!
173
00:07:34,348 --> 00:07:36,582
When?
You think I enjoy antiquing?
174
00:07:36,515 --> 00:07:39,049
I'm a wealthy man.
I can afford new stuff.
175
00:07:42,856 --> 00:07:45,089
Judge Simmons,
may I just say
176
00:07:45,022 --> 00:07:46,589
that the verdict is in,
177
00:07:46,552 --> 00:07:51,252
and you are guilty
of looking lovely today.
178
00:07:51,076 --> 00:07:54,909
My good friend the mayor
is a very lucky man.
179
00:07:54,772 --> 00:07:56,539
Mr. lassiter...
180
00:07:56,492 --> 00:07:59,093
I hope your opening statement
carries more weight
181
00:07:59,010 --> 00:08:01,176
than that pathetic attempt
at flattery.
182
00:08:01,112 --> 00:08:03,546
T-that was
my opening statement.
183
00:08:10,383 --> 00:08:12,583
I'm so glad Jen invited me
to go out with you guys.
184
00:08:12,519 --> 00:08:16,085
"Jen"?
You call her "Jen"?
185
00:08:15,959 --> 00:08:19,493
What does she call you...
"caity-poo"?
186
00:08:19,369 --> 00:08:22,335
What the hell are you
talking about?
187
00:08:22,237 --> 00:08:25,370
Look, Jennifer
has been with a woman.
188
00:08:25,263 --> 00:08:26,629
She has?
189
00:08:26,601 --> 00:08:29,467
Everyone's done that
except me.
190
00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:32,320
Well, you might have a shot.
191
00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:35,221
It's obvious she's totally
into you.
192
00:08:35,171 --> 00:08:36,705
It doesn't surprise me,
193
00:08:36,670 --> 00:08:38,269
the way you've been
acting around her.
194
00:08:38,231 --> 00:08:39,331
Are you saying I'm hitting on
your girlfriend?
195
00:08:39,314 --> 00:08:40,914
I wasn't saying that,
196
00:08:40,875 --> 00:08:43,342
but I find it interesting it's
the first place you went.
197
00:08:43,266 --> 00:08:45,266
Hmm?
198
00:08:45,209 --> 00:08:48,509
Just because Jen's been with
girls doesn't mean she wants me.
199
00:08:48,396 --> 00:08:50,362
It's obvious she's crazy
about you.
200
00:08:50,307 --> 00:08:52,573
Ready to go, Charlie?
201
00:08:55,532 --> 00:08:59,098
I'll get us a cab.
202
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,972
Thanks so much
for joining us.
203
00:09:00,917 --> 00:09:02,117
I had a great time.
204
00:09:02,095 --> 00:09:03,663
Me too.
205
00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:20,458
Good morning.
Oh, hey.
206
00:09:20,416 --> 00:09:22,550
You were right about Jen.
207
00:09:22,487 --> 00:09:24,754
She is clearly into me.
208
00:09:24,686 --> 00:09:26,919
As soon as
we got in the cab,
209
00:09:26,852 --> 00:09:28,752
she gave me
the most passionate kiss.
210
00:09:28,699 --> 00:09:30,699
You have no idea.
211
00:09:32,396 --> 00:09:34,663
I have some idea.
212
00:09:34,594 --> 00:09:36,494
It's like somebody
flipped a switch,
213
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:38,509
and all this sexual energy
was unleashed.
214
00:09:38,450 --> 00:09:40,550
I can still taste
her lip gloss.
215
00:09:40,489 --> 00:09:42,756
It was, uh, papaya or...
216
00:09:42,687 --> 00:09:45,154
Mango?
217
00:09:45,077 --> 00:09:46,244
Yes!
218
00:09:46,224 --> 00:09:47,658
Wait a minute.
219
00:09:47,626 --> 00:09:50,792
How do you know
what she tasted like?
220
00:09:50,684 --> 00:09:52,918
Uh, when we said goodbye,
221
00:09:52,851 --> 00:09:56,385
she kind of gave me
a kiss on the lips.
222
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,561
How do you "kind of" give
someone a kiss on the lips?
223
00:09:58,491 --> 00:10:00,159
I probably shouldn't
have said anything.
224
00:10:00,116 --> 00:10:01,483
I'm sure it meant nothing.
225
00:10:01,454 --> 00:10:03,454
No, no, no. No.
Show me the kiss.
226
00:10:03,398 --> 00:10:06,131
Was it like this...
227
00:10:07,221 --> 00:10:11,421
Or like this?
228
00:10:11,268 --> 00:10:13,268
Show me
the second one again.
229
00:10:17,035 --> 00:10:18,768
You getting anything?
230
00:10:18,723 --> 00:10:21,790
No, but I'm surprised
you are.
231
00:10:23,694 --> 00:10:26,261
Some women are just
very affectionate.
232
00:10:26,179 --> 00:10:27,945
Maybe she's
a lip-kisser.
233
00:10:27,900 --> 00:10:30,300
I'm not buying it.
We need a second opinion.
234
00:10:30,226 --> 00:10:31,559
Stuart,
can you get in here?
235
00:10:31,533 --> 00:10:32,698
I'm really swamped
right now.
236
00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:36,313
It's about women
kissing each other.
237
00:10:38,829 --> 00:10:40,795
Stuart,
what would you call a woman
238
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:42,474
who kisses another woman
on the lips?
239
00:10:42,429 --> 00:10:44,262
A lesbian.
240
00:10:45,997 --> 00:10:48,297
What if they were
saying goodbye?
241
00:10:48,228 --> 00:10:52,228
A lesbian
saying goodbye.
242
00:10:52,083 --> 00:10:55,450
What if they're just very fond
of each other as friends
243
00:10:55,333 --> 00:10:58,233
and are expressing
mutual respect and affection?
244
00:10:58,137 --> 00:11:03,870
Everything you just said...
with "lesbian" in front of it.
245
00:11:03,649 --> 00:11:05,215
This is ridiculous!
246
00:11:05,178 --> 00:11:07,144
You know,
if you are so worried,
247
00:11:07,090 --> 00:11:09,290
why don't you just ask her
if she's attracted to me?
248
00:11:09,224 --> 00:11:11,558
Because a relationship
is built on trust.
249
00:11:11,487 --> 00:11:13,120
I really like this woman.
250
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,680
We have so much in common.
She's a lot like me.
251
00:11:15,598 --> 00:11:17,331
So why would she want to
cheat on you?
252
00:11:17,286 --> 00:11:19,086
Because we have
so much in common...
253
00:11:19,038 --> 00:11:20,471
she's a lot like me.
254
00:11:20,439 --> 00:11:22,406
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
255
00:11:22,351 --> 00:11:24,186
Hello?
256
00:11:24,136 --> 00:11:25,736
Oh, hey, Jennifer.
257
00:11:25,697 --> 00:11:28,363
Yeah, sure.
Hold on.
258
00:11:31,719 --> 00:11:33,352
Hey, Jennifer.
259
00:11:33,313 --> 00:11:35,112
A designers' sample sale?
260
00:11:35,065 --> 00:11:38,198
Ooh, do you think they have
knee-high boots?
261
00:11:38,092 --> 00:11:40,192
Okay,
I will meet you there.
262
00:11:40,131 --> 00:11:42,264
You can't go shopping with her.
Why not?
263
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,534
Because she's going
to get you alone,
264
00:11:43,508 --> 00:11:44,808
put you
in some tight clothes,
265
00:11:44,783 --> 00:11:46,382
and then try
to get you out of them.
266
00:11:46,343 --> 00:11:48,310
What makes you think
she'd do that?
267
00:11:48,255 --> 00:11:50,289
'Cause that's what
I would do.
268
00:11:53,990 --> 00:11:55,624
Answer me this...
269
00:11:55,584 --> 00:11:57,883
if nuns take
a vow of poverty,
270
00:11:57,813 --> 00:12:00,447
what do they need
m money for?
271
00:12:00,363 --> 00:12:03,562
Sister Claudia would like to use
the money to clothe the needy,
272
00:12:03,453 --> 00:12:05,520
feed the hungry,
shelter the homeless,
273
00:12:05,460 --> 00:12:08,261
and provide medicine
for the sick.
274
00:12:08,170 --> 00:12:10,302
That's very admirable.
275
00:12:10,239 --> 00:12:12,773
And what would you do
with the money, Mr. lassiter?
276
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:15,691
The same.
277
00:12:17,282 --> 00:12:21,548
God, being in a relationship
with a woman is so difficult.
278
00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:22,958
How do you deal with it,
Carter?
279
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,053
I date men.
280
00:12:26,999 --> 00:12:29,699
That'll be my fallback.
281
00:12:29,612 --> 00:12:31,345
Sir?
Mm-hmm.
282
00:12:31,301 --> 00:12:33,035
Claire is killing me
with this arbitration.
283
00:12:32,990 --> 00:12:34,189
She's mean,
she's vindictive.
284
00:12:34,168 --> 00:12:35,969
She's like a black widow
circling her prey.
285
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,120
What's your point?
286
00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:38,866
I like her.
287
00:12:38,819 --> 00:12:40,220
I think you should
get back together with her.
288
00:12:40,190 --> 00:12:42,090
Forget it.
I'm not making up with her.
289
00:12:42,038 --> 00:12:45,405
Sir, a little compromise in a
relationship never hurt anybody.
290
00:12:45,289 --> 00:12:47,289
Destroyed my marriage
with Helen.
291
00:12:47,232 --> 00:12:48,765
She won our first argument,
292
00:12:48,729 --> 00:12:51,596
and for the next 20 years
she had the upper hand.
293
00:12:51,501 --> 00:12:53,468
What was
the argument about?
294
00:12:53,413 --> 00:12:54,914
Who would have
the upper hand.
295
00:12:56,313 --> 00:12:58,213
She never respected me
after that.
296
00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,594
I am not going to let this
happen with Claire.
297
00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:01,851
Mnh-mnh.
298
00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:03,525
It's a matter
of principle.
299
00:13:03,482 --> 00:13:04,715
But, sir,
I have no principles.
300
00:13:04,692 --> 00:13:06,359
Why should I
have to suffer?
301
00:13:08,070 --> 00:13:10,436
Every cause
needs a martyr, Paul...
302
00:13:10,363 --> 00:13:13,664
And you're mine.
303
00:13:13,550 --> 00:13:17,817
I don't care if you wind up
on the street selling pencils.
304
00:13:17,660 --> 00:13:19,560
That's how much
this means to me.
305
00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:21,040
Oh, God.
306
00:13:21,005 --> 00:13:22,439
Sir, if you care
about Claire,
307
00:13:22,408 --> 00:13:24,108
you have to move beyond
your first marriage.
308
00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:26,264
She shouldn't have to pay
for what Helen did to you.
309
00:13:26,199 --> 00:13:28,265
He's right.
Come on, be a pal.
310
00:13:28,207 --> 00:13:30,673
If Claire stays mad at you,
I'm gonna lose,
311
00:13:30,595 --> 00:13:33,462
and if I lose, I gotta give
Claudia a lot of money.
312
00:13:33,367 --> 00:13:35,101
How much
are we talking here?
313
00:13:38,115 --> 00:13:39,749
You add a zero,
314
00:13:39,709 --> 00:13:41,909
that's what I pay Helen
every month.
315
00:13:44,106 --> 00:13:46,805
She seeing anyone?
316
00:13:52,103 --> 00:13:54,969
Oh, look.
317
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:56,341
I snagged
the last cashmere...
318
00:13:56,308 --> 00:13:58,275
I saw that first.
319
00:13:58,220 --> 00:14:00,287
I'll get it back...
there's no way she's a size 2.
320
00:14:00,227 --> 00:14:04,594
Wow... you look
really sexy in that top.
321
00:14:04,434 --> 00:14:06,966
Oh.
322
00:14:06,886 --> 00:14:08,653
How 'bout now?
323
00:14:08,608 --> 00:14:10,074
Hmm. Still sexy.
324
00:14:10,041 --> 00:14:12,974
I'm not gonna get it.
325
00:14:12,877 --> 00:14:14,344
Do you mind
if I try it on?
326
00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:16,078
Sure.
327
00:14:18,293 --> 00:14:21,326
Oh, I'm really glad
you invited me here.
328
00:14:21,224 --> 00:14:23,257
Yeah, it's fun,
isn't it?
329
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,500
Oh!
330
00:14:25,430 --> 00:14:26,697
Oh.
331
00:14:27,756 --> 00:14:28,889
I...
332
00:14:28,871 --> 00:14:31,138
Saw this in "vogue."
333
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:33,571
I like it.
334
00:14:33,491 --> 00:14:36,225
Let's see...
335
00:14:36,136 --> 00:14:37,603
Hmm.
336
00:14:37,569 --> 00:14:39,769
How do my boobs look
in this shirt?
337
00:14:39,705 --> 00:14:41,304
I don't know.
338
00:14:41,265 --> 00:14:44,199
Um, I-I didn't even
notice you had boobs.
339
00:14:44,101 --> 00:14:47,535
You know who you should ask?
Men. Men love boobs.
340
00:14:47,415 --> 00:14:49,649
Damn,
this button's stuck.
341
00:14:49,582 --> 00:14:51,349
Can you give me a hand?
342
00:14:51,302 --> 00:14:52,701
Okay...
343
00:14:52,672 --> 00:14:54,705
I-I can't do this
anymore.
344
00:14:54,647 --> 00:14:58,315
Uh, Jen, it... it seems
that you're attracted to me.
345
00:14:58,184 --> 00:15:01,884
And while I am flattered
and I do like you very much,
346
00:15:01,753 --> 00:15:03,753
it's just...
it's not in that way.
347
00:15:03,697 --> 00:15:07,096
Caitlin,
I'm not attracted to you.
348
00:15:06,977 --> 00:15:08,977
Oh.
349
00:15:08,922 --> 00:15:11,556
Want to look for handbags?
350
00:15:11,471 --> 00:15:14,104
What is going on?
351
00:15:14,019 --> 00:15:15,652
I'm... I'm sorry.
352
00:15:15,613 --> 00:15:18,013
You know, I never should
have jumped to conclusions.
353
00:15:17,939 --> 00:15:20,039
It's just that Charlie
got into my head.
354
00:15:19,978 --> 00:15:21,578
Charlie?
What did he tell you?
355
00:15:21,539 --> 00:15:24,439
Well, he said that you had
a relationship with a woman,
356
00:15:24,342 --> 00:15:28,976
and I guess I got a little paranoid
after you kissed me, so...
357
00:15:28,804 --> 00:15:31,904
That's how I say goodbye.
I'm just a lip-kisser.
358
00:15:31,798 --> 00:15:35,299
Believe me, Caitlin,
I am in no way attracted to you.
359
00:15:35,176 --> 00:15:38,343
Yeah, I heard you
the first time.
360
00:15:38,235 --> 00:15:41,901
I just cannot believe
Charlie doesn't trust me.
361
00:15:41,772 --> 00:15:43,338
Oh, don't blame this
all on him.
362
00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:46,135
He was just thrown by your past.
He's really a good guy.
363
00:15:46,041 --> 00:15:47,907
He trusts you
more than you think.
364
00:15:51,808 --> 00:15:53,941
Hey.
365
00:15:53,878 --> 00:15:57,245
What are you guys doing
in casuals?
366
00:15:57,129 --> 00:15:59,262
You are unbelievable.
367
00:16:00,315 --> 00:16:01,748
[SIGHS]
368
00:16:01,716 --> 00:16:03,150
Excuse me...
369
00:16:03,119 --> 00:16:06,153
Do you think this top
is too revealing?
370
00:16:06,050 --> 00:16:09,117
No.
371
00:16:11,881 --> 00:16:15,014
Claire, can we talk?
372
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:17,807
Oh, look at the tissues.
Have you been crying?
373
00:16:17,711 --> 00:16:20,045
No, those are Paul's.
374
00:16:21,377 --> 00:16:22,542
What do you want?
375
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:24,556
Well, I-I want you
to have this.
376
00:16:24,497 --> 00:16:27,464
Didn't I already tell you
where you can put that?
377
00:16:27,365 --> 00:16:30,699
Yes, but I was pretty sure
it would void the warranty.
378
00:16:30,584 --> 00:16:33,283
Open it.
379
00:16:35,267 --> 00:16:36,867
These are your things.
380
00:16:36,828 --> 00:16:39,529
I'm gonna need them
if I stay at your place tonight.
381
00:16:39,441 --> 00:16:42,074
I really appreciate this.
382
00:16:41,991 --> 00:16:44,258
Oh, and tonight, um,
383
00:16:44,189 --> 00:16:47,156
you'll be doing
more than sleeping.
384
00:16:47,057 --> 00:16:50,090
Oh, that's good...
you got your cable fixed.
385
00:16:52,090 --> 00:16:54,824
Claire, Claire, Claire, Claire...
What?
386
00:16:54,735 --> 00:16:56,936
You mean everything to me,
and I realize
387
00:16:56,869 --> 00:16:59,670
that the only way that this
relationship is gonna work
388
00:16:59,578 --> 00:17:01,311
is if I stop being
so selfish.
389
00:17:01,267 --> 00:17:03,233
Ohh...
390
00:17:03,179 --> 00:17:05,045
My favorite chocolates.
391
00:17:04,995 --> 00:17:08,295
Those are mine.
392
00:17:08,181 --> 00:17:10,948
Well, it's, uh, almost time
to start up again,
393
00:17:10,857 --> 00:17:12,623
so I'm gonna see you
tonight.
394
00:17:12,578 --> 00:17:14,578
[GIGGLES]
395
00:17:14,521 --> 00:17:17,022
Would you mind being
a little easier on Paul?
396
00:17:16,942 --> 00:17:18,843
He's not such a bad guy.
397
00:17:18,791 --> 00:17:20,591
Ah, there's my buddy now!
398
00:17:20,543 --> 00:17:21,909
Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
399
00:17:21,881 --> 00:17:24,781
"Buddy" is
a little strong,
400
00:17:24,685 --> 00:17:27,152
don't you think?
401
00:17:27,075 --> 00:17:28,607
Judge Simmons...
402
00:17:28,572 --> 00:17:30,839
I'm afraid I have given you
the impression
403
00:17:30,771 --> 00:17:32,471
that the mayor and I
are close.
404
00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:33,928
We are not.
405
00:17:33,894 --> 00:17:38,094
Like you, I find him
to be selfish, stubborn,
406
00:17:37,941 --> 00:17:40,073
and a bad lover.
407
00:17:41,732 --> 00:17:47,432
I've left enough women
unsatisfied to know the look.
408
00:17:47,212 --> 00:17:50,645
Paul, Claire and I
are back together again.
409
00:17:50,525 --> 00:17:54,759
Oh, why do you hate me?!
410
00:17:59,606 --> 00:18:01,339
I can't believe Charlie.
411
00:18:01,294 --> 00:18:03,894
I tell him I've been with
one woman, and he freaks out.
412
00:18:03,811 --> 00:18:05,845
I know... I was judged
the same way in college
413
00:18:05,787 --> 00:18:07,655
when people found out
I was with two guys.
414
00:18:07,603 --> 00:18:10,370
Really?
How did that happen?
415
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:13,113
Well, I was with Joe
until I was a sophomore,
416
00:18:13,020 --> 00:18:15,987
and then I dated Dave
my junior and senior years.
417
00:18:21,815 --> 00:18:22,980
Charlie,
why are you wearing that?
418
00:18:22,961 --> 00:18:25,628
I put my coat down
for one second,
419
00:18:25,541 --> 00:18:27,408
and some woman bought it.
420
00:18:27,358 --> 00:18:29,858
I'm not gonna freeze
out there.
421
00:18:29,779 --> 00:18:31,213
They took your shirt, too?
422
00:18:31,181 --> 00:18:33,315
No, this is mine.
423
00:18:34,398 --> 00:18:35,765
Jennifer...
424
00:18:35,738 --> 00:18:38,337
I shouldn't have followed you
to that store.
425
00:18:38,254 --> 00:18:39,888
It was
a dumb thing to do.
426
00:18:39,848 --> 00:18:41,214
I know. It was ridiculous
for me to think
427
00:18:41,185 --> 00:18:43,185
you could ever be
attracted to Caitlin.
428
00:18:43,129 --> 00:18:45,830
Yeah,
we covered that.
429
00:18:45,743 --> 00:18:47,609
Charlie, I shared
something personal with you
430
00:18:47,559 --> 00:18:48,992
because I trusted you,
431
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:51,460
and you assumed I'm
some sex-crazed nympho
432
00:18:51,382 --> 00:18:53,549
who's going to cheat on you
with Caitlin...
433
00:18:53,484 --> 00:18:55,385
a woman you call
your best friend?
434
00:18:55,333 --> 00:18:56,866
I mean, really.
435
00:18:56,830 --> 00:18:58,930
That is the lamest,
most pathetic...
436
00:18:58,869 --> 00:19:01,302
you call me
your best friend?
437
00:19:01,226 --> 00:19:03,627
Ohh.
438
00:19:03,553 --> 00:19:04,786
I want you to know
439
00:19:04,764 --> 00:19:06,864
that our relationship
means the world to me.
440
00:19:06,803 --> 00:19:09,503
Oh, well, it means
a lot to me, too.
441
00:19:09,415 --> 00:19:11,582
I'm gonna go.
442
00:19:13,398 --> 00:19:16,331
Best friend. Mm.
443
00:19:17,955 --> 00:19:20,354
Jennifer, I'm just not used to
being in a relationship
444
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,181
with a woman that has
your dating history.
445
00:19:22,129 --> 00:19:23,795
How do you think I feel?
446
00:19:23,753 --> 00:19:25,954
I mean, just yesterday
Stuart was going on
447
00:19:25,889 --> 00:19:28,222
about all the "Bettys"
you've hooked up with.
448
00:19:28,150 --> 00:19:30,350
For your information,
I've only been with five.
449
00:19:30,286 --> 00:19:31,719
You've only been
with five women?
450
00:19:31,688 --> 00:19:34,221
Only five named Betty.
451
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:36,973
[SIGHS]
452
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,680
Usually I'm not
the jealous type,
453
00:19:38,633 --> 00:19:41,499
but I don't know how to compete
with a whole other gender.
454
00:19:41,404 --> 00:19:44,038
I was worried you'd start
missing what I don't have.
455
00:19:43,954 --> 00:19:46,453
I mean, my skin isn't that soft.
I don't smell that great.
456
00:19:46,375 --> 00:19:47,642
Yes, you do.
457
00:19:47,618 --> 00:19:49,518
I know.
458
00:19:49,466 --> 00:19:51,700
You want to
get out of here?
459
00:19:51,633 --> 00:19:54,033
Sure.
460
00:20:00,171 --> 00:20:01,171
Bitch.
461
00:20:06,099 --> 00:20:09,164
Forgive me, father,
for I have sinned.
462
00:20:09,061 --> 00:20:12,561
It's been a number of decades
since my last confession.
463
00:20:12,439 --> 00:20:15,505
Since that time,
I've staged a fake bar mitzvah,
464
00:20:15,402 --> 00:20:17,502
taken the lord's name
in vain,
465
00:20:17,441 --> 00:20:19,841
and I moved
a sizable amount of money
466
00:20:19,766 --> 00:20:21,367
into a Swiss bank account
467
00:20:21,328 --> 00:20:24,028
to keep it out of the hands
of my ex-wife,
468
00:20:23,941 --> 00:20:25,841
who is now a nun.
469
00:20:26,553 --> 00:20:28,853
Gotcha.
470
00:21:25,489 --> 00:21:26,621
Sit, ubu, sit.Good dog.
471
00:21:26,622 --> 00:21:27,823
(Barking)
472
00:21:27,824 --> 00:21:30,291
Moo.
473
00:21:30,341 --> 00:21:34,891
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
33571
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
