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1
00:00:09,217 --> 00:00:11,553
(phone ringing)
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00:00:11,594 --> 00:00:13,096
Michael Scott's
Dunder Mifflin Scranton
3
00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:16,474
Meredith Palmer Memorial
Celebrity Rabies Awareness
4
00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:18,059
Fun Run Race for the Cure.
5
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:18,727
This is Pam.
6
00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:20,103
Pro-Am.
7
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:22,230
Pro-Am Race for
the--they hung up.
8
00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:25,066
A woman shouldn't
have to be hit by a car
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00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:26,943
to learn that she
may have rabies,
10
00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:30,280
but that is where
we are in America,
11
00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:33,783
and that does not
sit right with me.
12
00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:35,785
And that is why I am hosting
13
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:39,372
a Fun Run Race for
the Cure for rabies.
14
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:41,791
To raise awareness of the fact
15
00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:44,252
that there is a cure for rabies,
16
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:47,839
a disease that has been
largely eradicated in the U.S.,
17
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:51,009
but not very many
people know that.
18
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,053
And there are other fun
runs that race for cures,
19
00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:55,930
you run your race and
you get to the end
20
00:00:55,972 --> 00:00:58,099
and there is still no cure,
21
00:00:58,141 --> 00:00:59,559
but our fun run,
22
00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:01,811
you race, you get to the end,
23
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:03,355
you find out there's a cure.
24
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:05,565
It's a win-win.
25
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:07,525
If Meredith does get rabies,
26
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:08,777
the only way to take care of her
27
00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:10,820
will be with a silver bullet.
28
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:13,740
When I was growing up,
29
00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:15,867
I was always being
picked on by bullies,
30
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:19,496
and I found that the best
way to fight back was to run.
31
00:01:19,537 --> 00:01:21,956
And now, Meredith's
being picked on
32
00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:24,376
by a big bully named rabies,
33
00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:26,753
and so we're all gonna run.
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00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:34,219
Don't let this happen to you.
35
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:37,389
(man pants)
36
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,391
Rabies is not a joke.
37
00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:41,976
No, rabies.
38
00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:43,937
Babies would be a good idea.
39
00:01:43,978 --> 00:01:45,438
Can I put you down for a dime?
40
00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,235
Hi, Stankley, how
many sponsors so far?
41
00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:51,069
Zero.
42
00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:53,863
Come on, man.
Gotta step it up.
43
00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:56,032
It's for a good cause.
44
00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:58,535
Jan called this morning
and pledged $500.
45
00:01:58,576 --> 00:02:00,745
Isn't that your money?
46
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:04,749
That is for a good cause.
47
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,335
Phyllis, how's the
rabies quilt coming?
48
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:08,253
Oh, it's coming.
49
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:10,130
Oh, look at that. Three.
50
00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:11,423
Way to honor Meredith, Phyllis.
51
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:12,632
Michael?
52
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:13,550
Yes?
53
00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:14,384
You cannot make me run.
54
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:15,343
Okay.
55
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:16,636
It is not a real charity.
56
00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:18,346
It's stupid, Michael,
and I'm not gonna do it.
57
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:19,848
All right, all right.
58
00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:21,266
You didn't run for me when
I thought I had skin cancer.
59
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:24,102
I know that you're
probably scared
60
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,271
of people seeing your
fat legs in shorts.
61
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:27,647
No.
62
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:30,275
Okay. Well, back
in olden times,
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00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:34,696
a large, fat person, like
this, was a person of power,
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00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:38,450
a person who had
money, could buy food,
65
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:39,701
a person of respect,
66
00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:41,953
like the regional
manager of the day.
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00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:45,290
Whereas someone athletic
and trim, like myself,
68
00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:48,084
was someone who worked in the
fields and I was a peasant.
69
00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:50,211
I just don't wanna run.
70
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:52,297
I didn't bring my
sneakers or my clothes.
71
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,798
No, you're going
to have to run
72
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,425
or you're gonna be
in a lot of trouble.
73
00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,472
It is not olden times anymore.
74
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:03,183
(cheerful music)
75
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,341
{\an8}I'm petrified
of nipple chafing.
76
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:39,094
{\an8}Once it starts, it
is a vicious circle.
77
00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:41,179
{\an8}You have sensitive nipples,
78
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,515
{\an8}they chafe so they
become more sensitive,
79
00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:44,766
{\an8}so they chafe more.
80
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:47,644
{\an8}So I take precautions.
81
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:51,398
Hi, Angela,
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00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:56,444
{\an8}Hey, um, I'm sorry
about your cat.
83
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:02,075
{\an8}(Angela crying)
84
00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:04,828
This is Sprinkles.
85
00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:06,371
She was my best friend.
86
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:10,208
I kept her going through
countless ailments.
87
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:13,837
I asked Dwight Schrute
to feed her once
88
00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:15,130
and she is now deceased.
89
00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:22,554
This is Halloween last year.
90
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:28,101
Just a couple of
kittens out on the town.
91
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:35,442
Psst.
92
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:44,075
I'm having relationship problems
93
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,953
{\an8}and since you're always
having relationship problems,
94
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,830
{\an8}I thought you'd be able
to give me some advice.
95
00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,248
What's wrong?
96
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:53,710
{\an8}I have this crazy thought
that I know is crazy
97
00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:56,629
{\an8}that maybe Dwight killed my cat.
98
00:04:58,048 --> 00:04:59,924
{\an8}When I got home,
99
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,301
{\an8}Sprinkles' body
was in the freezer
100
00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:03,261
{\an8}where Dwight said he left her.
101
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,888
{\an8}But all my bags of
frozen French fries
102
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:07,182
{\an8}had been clawed to shreds.
103
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:07,932
{\an8}Oh.
104
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,351
{\an8}Something's not right.
105
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:11,394
{\an8}The vet's doing an autopsy.
106
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,104
Angela, I'm sorry.
107
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,065
{\an8}Did Roy ever kill
one of your cats?
108
00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:17,734
I'm more of a dog person.
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00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:20,195
(girl sighs)
110
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:25,158
I don't understand the problem
111
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,951
You don't waste a day
of work because someone
112
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,287
in the office
almost got a disease
113
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,497
That is corporate talking.
114
00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:31,873
The old you would
never say that.
115
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,875
No, I would think
it. Now I can say it.
116
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,001
Okay.
117
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,127
Why don't you do
this on a Saturday?
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00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,295
Nobody would come.
119
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:38,171
Exactly.
120
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:41,633
Start rolling, please.
121
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:48,723
Ryan? Well, Ryan Howard
is extremely immature.
122
00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:53,478
I should know this because
we were lovers for 14 months.
123
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,397
Ryan doesn't understand
the rules of basketball,
124
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:57,232
but he pretends to
when he's with guys.
125
00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:58,525
He has incredible BO,
126
00:05:58,566 --> 00:06:00,860
he waxes his legs
and he hates dogs
127
00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:02,487
and he hates kids and he's gay.
128
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,322
[Jim Halpert] So what's
your strategy for this race.
129
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,282
Well, I'm going to start fast.
130
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:08,076
Then I'm going to run
fast in the middle
131
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,285
and then I'm going to end fast.
132
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:10,870
Why won't more people do that.
133
00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:12,205
Because they're stupid.
134
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:16,251
What?
135
00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:33,268
Oh, no, that's not--I
mean that wasn't--
136
00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:37,605
I mean, I can see how it
would seem a bit like we,
137
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:41,943
how it looks like, but I mean,
138
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,653
nowadays you can
edit anything, right?
139
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:48,533
I mean, you can edit anything
to look like anything.
140
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:53,496
Yeah. I gave him a ride
home because we're dating.
141
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:58,084
Wow. There it is.
142
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:02,422
Yeah. We haven't told anybody,
143
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:07,302
but it's going
really great. Right?
144
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,678
It is going really great.
145
00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:10,764
Your blushing.
146
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,265
You are very blushing.
147
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:16,019
No, it is very nice.
148
00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:20,732
It Sort of changes everything.
149
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:21,858
It does change everything.
150
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,279
I mean about
today, like today,
151
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:29,240
normally it would be
kind of a drag, right.
152
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:32,744
To go on a 5k run for
some non-existing cause
153
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:36,206
just so that your
really insecure boss could feel important,
154
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:40,293
but yeah, I don't
know, today's thing,
155
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:42,087
It could be kind of fun.
156
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:45,674
Yeah. Let's take a
bite out of rabies.
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00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,676
Let's do that. Lets take--
158
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:51,596
Ow!
159
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,098
Shut up.
160
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,642
Your taking this out on me,
but I was only the messenger.
161
00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:56,476
Oh, really?
162
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,150
You'll feel
better after the 5k.
163
00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,945
Exercise is good for depression.
164
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,905
I'm not depressed.
I'm in grief.
165
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:16,663
We have raised almost $700.
Most of it from me and Jan.
166
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:20,291
When do they put that
on the giant check?
167
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,627
Or is that something
that we write in later?
168
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:26,381
Well, a giant check costs
about $200 to make up.
169
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,008
I have a print shop standing by,
170
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:29,384
but what do you think, Michael?
171
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:31,386
That's over 25% of our funds.
172
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,932
That's a tough decision.
173
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,477
I always imagined it
with a giant check.
174
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,813
Yeah. I mean I personally
am definitely on board
175
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:42,647
with the giant check.
176
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:43,648
Giant check it is.
177
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:44,858
I don't know.
178
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:46,818
On the other hand it
does leave less money
179
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,319
for bat birth control.
180
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,821
Bat birth control.
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00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,991
Wait, this money is
going to bat birth control,
182
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,284
right Michael?
183
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:55,910
That's what you told
me when I contributed.
184
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,162
You didn't
contribute very much.
185
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,539
I was also hoping to
hand the giant check
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00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:02,459
to a rabies doctor.
How's that going?
187
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,878
Not well. A doctor
won't come out
188
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,755
to collect a check for $700,
189
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:09,090
or $500 if we go
with the giant check.
190
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:12,969
And also there is no such
thing as a rabies doctor.
191
00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:15,972
How about a rabies nurse?
192
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:16,848
I don't think so.
193
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:17,849
You know what though?
194
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,017
I've actually seen
ads for nurses
195
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,393
that you can hire by the hour
196
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:22,812
for parties and bachelor events.
197
00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:24,731
That's possible, look into that.
198
00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:26,316
Great. It's going to
cost a couple hundred bucks
199
00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:29,611
and oh, actually more with tips.
200
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:31,529
Maybe we should
skip the ceremony
201
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:34,240
and just set up a college
fund for Meredith's son.
202
00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:37,660
Have you met that kid?
He's not going to college.
203
00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:43,458
The charity is having
some financial problems.
204
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:46,753
What do I look like
to you? Paul Newman?
205
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,422
That's actually
not a good example
206
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:52,926
because I have been compared
to a young Paul Newman,
207
00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:57,013
my eyes and my face, and I
make my own salad dressing.
208
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:01,142
I mix Newman's ranch
with Newman's Italian,
209
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:03,603
sell it at flea markets
for a slight loss.
210
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:06,856
I could make a profit
if I changed one
211
00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:09,901
of the ingredients to
wishbone, but I won't do it.
212
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:40,724
Michael, 5k means five
kilometers, not 5,000 miles.
213
00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:43,476
(girl knocks)
214
00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:44,769
[Michael Scott] Come in.
215
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,187
Hey, Hey, Oh my god.
216
00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:47,063
What are you doing?
217
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:48,606
You said come in!
218
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,900
No, I didn't just, oh
my gosh, please get out.
219
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,404
So I closed the door,
220
00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:56,531
but the image of his
dangling participle
221
00:10:56,573 --> 00:11:00,035
still burned in my eyes.
222
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,411
I can imagine.
223
00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:03,038
(man knocks)
224
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:03,872
Come in.
225
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:06,207
Can I enter the room.
226
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:08,543
Yes. Or come in.
227
00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:11,921
See how I did that.
228
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,592
That's the way you should
enter a room. You knock,
229
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,093
and then you wait
for the all clear.
230
00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:18,678
You couldn't take all your
clothes off in the men's room?
231
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,221
Yes, but I have an office.
232
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,473
So why would I do that?
233
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,932
On average, how
many hours a day
234
00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:25,018
do you spend naked in your
office? Just ballpark.
235
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:26,519
European offices are
naked all the time.
236
00:11:26,561 --> 00:11:27,937
There's so not.
237
00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:29,939
Besides my shirttail
covered most of it. So.
238
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,941
I didn't see where it started
but I saw where it ended.
239
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:33,443
Gross.
240
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:36,404
It's not gross, it is a human
body. What is your problem?
241
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:38,448
Pam, You're an artist, right?
242
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:40,909
Think of me as one
of your models.
243
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,327
Okay. You know what?
244
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,162
I don't want this to detract
from what we really need
245
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,497
to be thinking about today.
246
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,791
It's not fair to
people with rabies
247
00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:51,294
and that's the point, right?
248
00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:53,171
Okay. Let's go have some fun.
249
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,757
They say, if you're
nervous around someone,
250
00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:57,842
you should picture them naked.
251
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,345
I do not recommend
this strategy.
252
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:04,516
Try picturing them with more
clothes on or a funny coat.
253
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:07,686
Oh, I'm sorry.
254
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:11,147
Is this a working office
and not a French beach?
255
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:19,656
Okay. Name please.
256
00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:21,825
Creed Bratton,
75 plus division.
257
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:23,535
You're over 75 years old?
258
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,829
82 November first. How
much is the prize money?
259
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,580
There's no prize money.
260
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,416
What, is any of this real?
261
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:31,084
Check that out.
262
00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:34,337
Loom at me, I'm Toby.
I'm stretching. I know what I'm doing.
263
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:35,880
Why is he even here?
264
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,173
Hey Michael.
265
00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:41,970
Hey Billy. How you doing?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
266
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:48,476
Next time we will fun run
for you, buddy. All right?
267
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:49,519
That's okay.
268
00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:50,437
Okay.
269
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:51,271
I'm just here to help.
270
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:52,355
Oh, all right.
271
00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:54,899
How you gonna--how?
272
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,693
I'm going to race
like everybody else.
273
00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:58,987
Wait a second. Do you
have a motor in that?
274
00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:01,156
Because you can't
use souped up things.
275
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:04,117
It immediately
disqualify. You can't win.
276
00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:06,828
It's not about winning. I
know that it's about charity.
277
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:09,080
Listen, you know what
we're going to do,
278
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,374
we are going to have
a special category
279
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:14,002
just for you and your chair.
280
00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:17,213
So you're already
a winner. Okay.
281
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:25,096
Unless somebody else in
a wheelchair beats you.
282
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:27,724
Hey Angela.
283
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:28,475
Hi
284
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:30,560
Oh, the cat.
285
00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:32,145
Is that the cat
that bit Meredith.
286
00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:48,495
So I heard that you
were peeping on Michael.
287
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:50,038
What? No, it was not--
288
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:53,124
Look, I don't know what your
deal is, but he's mine. Okay?
289
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,584
So hands off.
290
00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:57,420
Okay everybody, listen up.
291
00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:59,839
Thank you for coming.
292
00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:02,676
I would like to invite
each and every one of you,
293
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:05,970
with great pride, to Michael
Scott's Dunder Mifflin
294
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:08,306
Scranton Meredith Palmer
Memorial Celebrity
295
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:13,144
Rabies Awareness Pro-Am
Fun Run Race for the Cure.
296
00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:16,398
(crowd cheers)
297
00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:17,607
Before we get started,
298
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:19,776
I want to say few words
299
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:23,196
about this deadly
disease called rabies.
300
00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:27,659
And I'd like you to take a
look into the face of rabies
301
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,122
That should scare you.
302
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:34,249
It scares me. You people
need to educate yourselves.
303
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:38,962
Myth: three Americans
every year die from rabies.
304
00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:44,009
Fact: four Americans every
year die from rabies.
305
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,971
How many of you know someone
who has been afflicted
306
00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:51,474
or affected by
rabies. Show of hands.
307
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,643
1, 2, 3, too many to count.
308
00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:55,895
It is truly the silent killer.
309
00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:58,773
No, it is the foaming
barking killer.
310
00:15:00,275 --> 00:15:02,902
And it is something
that--Darrell, what are you doing?
311
00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:03,903
I'm giving him a peanut.
312
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:05,780
No, don't give him--just--
313
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:08,366
did you hear anything I said?
314
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:09,909
Look how happy he is.
315
00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:11,786
He's happy because he's
insane. You know what?
316
00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:14,205
That's a perfect
example of the kind
317
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,374
of awareness we
need to generate.
318
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,834
Where's the nurse?
319
00:15:17,876 --> 00:15:20,211
This is the reason we're here.
320
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,504
Hello Michael
321
00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:23,590
Oh, Hey. I know you
Elizabeth, right?
322
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,175
Yeah.
323
00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:27,719
Wow. Very cool you went
back and got your degree.
324
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,889
I would like you to
accept this check
325
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:37,437
for 340 dollars,
made out to science.
326
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,357
Make sure that that gets
into the right hands.
327
00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:41,608
Great.
328
00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,860
(crowd cheers)
329
00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:45,278
Oh, I know what
you're thinking,
330
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,529
but I actually paid
331
00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:48,615
for the strippers slash
rabies nurse myself.
332
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:51,409
It's a little joke to
Pam. So don't worry.
333
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:52,702
All the money is still going
334
00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:55,872
to the very real cause
of rabies awareness.
335
00:15:55,914 --> 00:15:57,540
We're going to have fun
today because it is a fun run,
336
00:15:57,582 --> 00:15:59,417
but I want you to be safe.
337
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,128
I want you to get yourself
checked for rabies.
338
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:05,215
So let's get rabid
about your health. Okay.
339
00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:07,592
Let's be safe today.
340
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,010
Please don't go in the street
341
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:10,970
because we didn't
have any permits.
342
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:21,773
Okay. Fettuccine Alfredo.
343
00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:31,866
Just remember folks.
It's not about winning.
344
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,284
And it's about finishing.
345
00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:38,790
On your marks, get set,
346
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,795
(gun fires)
347
00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:57,767
On your left.
348
00:16:57,809 --> 00:16:59,144
Michael, look at you go.
349
00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:01,730
That's my boss. Yeah.
350
00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:05,108
I'm very fast. I'm very fast.
351
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:09,029
Like Forrest Gump,
except I am not an idiot.
352
00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:14,034
Oh yes. I will work out today.
353
00:17:14,075 --> 00:17:18,288
I will work out a way to avoid
running for a stupid cause.
354
00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:21,166
5k is nothing.
I've run marathons.
355
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,418
There are a few tricks
I've learned along the way
356
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:26,588
that really helped me
shave off some minutes,
357
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,423
like taking a cab.
358
00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:32,677
I've actually done like six
charity Fun Runs this summer.
359
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:36,014
So honestly, I'm sort of spent.
360
00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:39,809
When I run my feet swell up
like two bags of pot roasts.
361
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:41,353
Do you really want to see that?
362
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,439
Well, excuse me.
363
00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:47,192
(speaks Spanish)
364
00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:52,947
Oh, I'm going backwards.
365
00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:54,282
Alright. Alright. Alright.
366
00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:58,161
I've walked two marathons.
367
00:17:58,203 --> 00:17:59,871
Pretty sure I can handle a 5k.
368
00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:03,583
Key is drafting.
Eliminate wind resistance.
369
00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:13,677
Oh, we're in last place.
370
00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:14,511
Oh, would you look at that
371
00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:15,387
Darn it.
372
00:18:20,684 --> 00:18:22,977
Water, water.
373
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:29,818
No water for me. Not while
rabies causes fear of water.
374
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:31,069
Solidarity!
375
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,737
Michael, that's irrational!
376
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:35,490
Rabies victims have to live
377
00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:39,828
with an irrational hatred
of water their entire lives,
378
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:42,080
which I can do.
379
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:47,669
Oh God. My nipples.
It's starting.
380
00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:52,007
Can we get another
round? Thanks.
381
00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:56,928
So we've got what?
Another 20 minutes?
382
00:18:57,846 --> 00:19:00,765
More or less.
383
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:04,352
The finishing is sitting
in my stomach like a rock.
384
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:07,272
You got nothing
to worry about.
385
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,399
I put ammonium and Toby's
coffee before the race.
386
00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:11,484
Excellent
387
00:19:17,449 --> 00:19:19,200
I'm making great time.
388
00:19:19,242 --> 00:19:21,202
Usually I'd have to take
a bathroom break halfway
389
00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:24,497
through a race like
this, but not today.
390
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,628
Ooh. An estate
sale. Wanna go in?
391
00:19:31,963 --> 00:19:33,590
I dunno. I'm really
committed to winning.
392
00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:34,841
Okay, but what if I told you
393
00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:36,301
that all the money
you spend here goes
394
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,261
to preventing a disease
that's already been cured.
395
00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:39,763
Hmm, Yes.
396
00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:41,431
That's what I thought. Right?
397
00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:43,058
Let's do some good.
398
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,188
You have reached the offices
of Dunder Mifflin Scranton.
399
00:19:48,229 --> 00:19:49,939
Currently the
entire staff is out
400
00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:52,108
doing the Michael
Scott D M S M TMC
401
00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:54,903
Rabies Awareness
Pro-Am Fun Run Race
402
00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,196
for the Cure.
403
00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:58,531
Leave a message.
404
00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:01,409
(phone slams down)
405
00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:04,204
Oh, alfredo sauce.
406
00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:10,543
I'm getting a stitch. Ah, god.
407
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,463
God, watch the nipples, Kevin.
408
00:20:13,505 --> 00:20:14,506
Back off me.
409
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:16,716
How you feeling, better?
410
00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:18,301
No.
411
00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:20,804
Well, you look cute as a
button. Worked up quite a sweat.
412
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:23,556
The vet is removing all of
sprinkles organs right now
413
00:20:23,598 --> 00:20:25,475
and sending them to the lab.
414
00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:27,102
I am a farmer, Angela.
415
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:28,436
What does that mean?
416
00:20:28,478 --> 00:20:30,355
When a farmer sees an
animal that is in pain,
417
00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:33,149
that has no quality of
life that has no utility,
418
00:20:33,191 --> 00:20:36,194
a farmer does what city folk
don't have the stomach to do.
419
00:20:37,195 --> 00:20:38,822
You did kill her.
420
00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:41,950
I sang her her favorite songs.
421
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,451
You put her in my freezer.
422
00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:45,704
It was beautiful and
gentle and respectful.
423
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:48,415
I fed her anti-histamines and
she gradually fell asleep.
424
00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:49,958
Well then she barfed
them up in the freezer
425
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,167
and tried to get out.
426
00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:52,502
Well, I'm not
responsible for that.
427
00:20:52,544 --> 00:20:55,839
Hey, ow. It's okay.
428
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:56,715
It's nothing.
429
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:57,841
I'm rubbing her.
430
00:20:57,882 --> 00:20:58,675
Its nothing, it's fine.
431
00:20:59,968 --> 00:21:01,511
How could you do that
without telling me?
432
00:21:01,553 --> 00:21:04,347
I thought I was helping
you. I expected a hug.
433
00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:07,726
I took care of that cat
the best way I knew how.
434
00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:11,563
Cat heaven is a
beautiful place,
435
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:14,399
but you don't get there
If you're euthanized.
436
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,026
I know a great taxidermist.
437
00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:17,610
I'll pay to have her stuffed.
438
00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:19,863
Well, he's not great,
but he's pretty good.
439
00:21:19,904 --> 00:21:21,614
You don't understand.
440
00:21:21,656 --> 00:21:23,616
Take back, seriously.
Don't get bit.
441
00:21:26,578 --> 00:21:29,622
Or we can have her buried out
at the east field by mother.
442
00:21:31,750 --> 00:21:32,959
Huh, Angela?
443
00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:34,252
Don't touch me Dwight.
444
00:21:46,848 --> 00:21:49,684
You like it? It's kind of
designy and cool. It was $8.
445
00:21:50,894 --> 00:21:53,313
Oh, I get to carry it.
446
00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:04,824
And the winner
is Toby Flenderson.
447
00:22:05,784 --> 00:22:06,910
I'm just going
to write it down.
448
00:22:12,082 --> 00:22:13,541
Where are we?
449
00:22:13,583 --> 00:22:16,002
I don't know, like five
kilometers from the office.
450
00:22:17,879 --> 00:22:19,714
He couldn't have
made it a circle?
451
00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:34,479
You all right, Scott?
452
00:22:35,522 --> 00:22:36,398
No.
453
00:22:36,439 --> 00:22:38,817
Hey, Toby won.
Kelly texted me.
454
00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:41,444
I could run faster, but
this is for charity, so.
455
00:22:42,404 --> 00:22:43,238
Sure thing Scott.
456
00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:44,072
Where's Dwight?
457
00:22:44,114 --> 00:22:44,906
I don't know.
458
00:22:44,948 --> 00:22:45,990
I need Dwight.
459
00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:47,742
Okay, see you.
460
00:22:50,453 --> 00:22:51,830
You could live
for a hundred years
461
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:54,416
and say, sorry, sorry,
sorry, continuously,
462
00:22:54,457 --> 00:22:57,168
and that still wouldn't
be enough for some people.
463
00:22:57,210 --> 00:23:00,380
Some people don't
understand sorry.
464
00:23:00,422 --> 00:23:02,382
Animals don't
understand I'm sorry.
465
00:23:03,466 --> 00:23:07,470
They understand whoa
and heel and off.
466
00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:11,599
Try saying I'm sorry to a mule.
He'll kick you in the head.
467
00:23:12,934 --> 00:23:17,856
I am not going to finish.
I can't beat rabies.
468
00:23:19,566 --> 00:23:20,859
Nobody can beat rabies.
469
00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:23,028
Rabies has been around
for a thousand years.
470
00:23:24,362 --> 00:23:26,489
I was a fool to think
that I could beat it.
471
00:23:34,998 --> 00:23:35,832
Hey, Michael?
472
00:23:37,292 --> 00:23:39,002
What are you doing here?
473
00:23:39,044 --> 00:23:40,211
Did you come back for us or--
474
00:23:40,253 --> 00:23:43,965
I can't finish.
I feel so weak.
475
00:23:44,007 --> 00:23:45,759
Your probably dehydrated.
476
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:47,260
What do you want
me to do, Jim?
477
00:23:47,302 --> 00:23:48,762
A glass of water
would be a start.
478
00:23:48,803 --> 00:23:53,099
No. There are people
all over the world
479
00:23:53,141 --> 00:23:56,728
with all sorts of problems
and afflictions and diseases.
480
00:23:56,770 --> 00:24:00,565
They're deformed and
they're abnormal.
481
00:24:02,567 --> 00:24:05,487
And here--illiterate and ugly.
482
00:24:05,528 --> 00:24:09,783
Symphonies don't have any
money. Public TV is bust.
483
00:24:09,824 --> 00:24:12,118
I can't do anything about
it. I can't, you know,
484
00:24:13,745 --> 00:24:18,041
there's just one of me and
there's a thousand of them
485
00:24:19,292 --> 00:24:20,835
and rabies wins.
486
00:24:20,877 --> 00:24:25,715
Wow. You are a downer. We
were having a pretty nice day.
487
00:24:25,757 --> 00:24:27,300
I'm still having a nice day.
488
00:24:27,342 --> 00:24:28,843
You are?
489
00:24:28,885 --> 00:24:32,555
Yeah. Hey Michael, look
at this lamp. Eight dollars.
490
00:24:33,431 --> 00:24:34,599
That's a good deal.
491
00:24:36,434 --> 00:24:39,270
And Michael, you
don't have rabies
492
00:24:39,312 --> 00:24:42,857
and chances are, you're not
going to get it anytime soon.
493
00:24:42,899 --> 00:24:46,277
So you don't really have
to think about it too much.
494
00:24:46,319 --> 00:24:50,031
Pam, if everybody felt that
way, nothing would get done.
495
00:24:51,616 --> 00:24:54,994
Yeah. But there's other
better people out there
496
00:24:55,036 --> 00:24:55,912
who are helping.
497
00:24:56,996 --> 00:24:58,289
You just don't
think I am capable
498
00:24:58,331 --> 00:25:01,376
of making a difference.
499
00:25:01,418 --> 00:25:02,961
I know you, Michael.
500
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:05,046
I saw you naked.
501
00:25:06,506 --> 00:25:11,094
You don't know me.
You've just seen my penis.
502
00:25:12,095 --> 00:25:13,596
I can make a difference.
503
00:25:13,638 --> 00:25:16,558
Remember, I'm the one who
started this whole thing off
504
00:25:16,599 --> 00:25:18,685
by hitting Meredith with my car.
505
00:25:18,727 --> 00:25:23,732
And I owe it to her
to finish this GD 5k.
506
00:25:29,362 --> 00:25:30,155
Oh no, no.
507
00:25:35,326 --> 00:25:37,787
(man groans)
508
00:25:43,752 --> 00:25:47,505
Finishing that 5k
was the hardest thing
509
00:25:47,547 --> 00:25:49,758
I have ever had to do.
510
00:25:51,301 --> 00:25:54,804
I ate more Fettuccine Alfredo
511
00:25:54,846 --> 00:25:59,017
and drank less water than
I have in my entire life.
512
00:26:00,810 --> 00:26:03,772
People always talk about
triumphs of the human spirit.
513
00:26:03,813 --> 00:26:08,777
Well, today I had a
triumph of the human body.
514
00:26:08,818 --> 00:26:11,446
That's why everybody was
applauding for me at the end.
515
00:26:11,488 --> 00:26:13,490
My guts, my heart.
516
00:26:15,950 --> 00:26:19,079
And while I eventually
puked my guts out,
517
00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:22,665
I never puke my heart out.
518
00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:26,252
I'm very, very proud of that.
519
00:26:33,510 --> 00:26:34,594
You're going to
have a good life.
520
00:26:34,636 --> 00:26:35,887
Thanks.
521
00:26:35,929 --> 00:26:37,430
Lots of people
suffer dehydration.
522
00:26:37,472 --> 00:26:38,973
They all recover just fine.
523
00:26:39,015 --> 00:26:43,770
I'm Michael's pediatrician.
Dehydration is pretty simple.
524
00:26:43,812 --> 00:26:45,063
He could also have been treated
525
00:26:45,105 --> 00:26:49,984
by a boy scout leader, a
coach or a water bottle.
526
00:26:51,111 --> 00:26:52,612
Well, apparently my
insurance will not
527
00:26:52,654 --> 00:26:54,280
be covering this hospital stay.
528
00:26:54,322 --> 00:26:55,949
I will be paying out of pocket.
529
00:26:59,703 --> 00:27:01,413
I kind of wish I'd
been hit by a car.
530
00:27:02,664 --> 00:27:05,834
Hey doc, are you
forgetting something.
531
00:27:12,173 --> 00:27:12,966
Thank you.
532
00:27:18,596 --> 00:27:19,347
Hey Michael.
533
00:27:20,432 --> 00:27:23,059
Hey Mer, how are you doing?
534
00:27:23,101 --> 00:27:24,144
Better.
535
00:27:24,185 --> 00:27:25,645
It's ironic isn't it?
536
00:27:25,687 --> 00:27:27,355
I mean, I'm in the hospital
537
00:27:27,397 --> 00:27:29,274
for not getting enough water
538
00:27:29,315 --> 00:27:32,027
and your in for a disease
that causes a fear of water.
539
00:27:33,153 --> 00:27:34,988
I'm in because you
hit me with a car.
540
00:27:36,322 --> 00:27:39,367
But I want to say, I heard
you were trying really hard,
541
00:27:39,409 --> 00:27:42,203
so I'm not mad at you anymore.
542
00:27:43,580 --> 00:27:44,372
Thanks.
543
00:27:45,707 --> 00:27:47,751
I'm not mad at you anymore.
544
00:27:55,759 --> 00:27:56,760
Wanna share?
545
00:27:58,386 --> 00:27:59,346
Sure.
546
00:27:59,387 --> 00:28:00,347
I'm not really sick.
547
00:28:08,646 --> 00:28:09,439
I'm Good.
548
00:28:10,857 --> 00:28:12,192
Yeah. I'm happy for Michael
549
00:28:12,233 --> 00:28:14,277
that Meredith
forgave him finally.
550
00:28:14,319 --> 00:28:16,946
It took a while because
she was very mad
551
00:28:16,988 --> 00:28:19,908
about him smashing her pelvis,
but it did finally happen.
552
00:28:21,201 --> 00:28:23,703
And I find that very
inspiring for anyone
553
00:28:23,745 --> 00:28:25,747
who wants to be
forgiven for something.
554
00:28:29,376 --> 00:28:32,045
In the movies, being
bitten by an animal,
555
00:28:32,087 --> 00:28:35,674
gives you the superpowers of
that animal, plus other powers.
556
00:28:35,715 --> 00:28:37,050
But in real life,
557
00:28:37,092 --> 00:28:39,678
the only power you get
is the power to die.
558
00:28:39,719 --> 00:28:41,221
Learn the facts.
559
00:28:41,262 --> 00:28:45,809
Rabies kills nearly 4,000
Americans every 1000 years.
560
00:28:46,267 --> 00:28:46,518
Rabies.
561
00:28:52,399 --> 00:28:55,110
(cheerful music)
40492
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