All language subtitles for x501x

Of Course
The Warren Commission

Was Bull,
But That Doesn't Change

The Bottom Line.

Oswald Did It!

He Was A Patsy
For The Military.

Who Is This Guy,
Oliver Stone's Retard Brother?

Read My Lips!

There Was No Conspiracy.

No Friggin' Way A Bunch

Of Jar-Headed Foul-Ups

Who Pay 800 Bucks
For A Toilet Seat

Could Pull That Off.

You're Outta Here.

Trudy, Isn't There Anyone

That Has Something Intelligent
To Say Tonight?

Your Pal Rudy's On Line Two.

I Guess The Answer's No.

Hey, Loser.

How's Life On The Other Side
Of The Galaxy?

I Told You
Not To Call Me That.

Mr. Sensitive.

You Still Live In
Your Parents' Basement?

You Only Go Out When
Your Extraterrestrial Buddies

Take You For A Joyride.

Let Me Check The Dictionary.

Yep, There's Your Picture.

Right There Under &Quot;Loser.&Quot;

Well, I'd Love To Chat,

But I've Got Another
Mental Defective On Line Three.

Eldon, Is It True?

You Have Actual Proof
That We're Surrounded By Aliens?

Just Because
You've Never Seen A Thing

Doesn't Mean It Isn't Real.

I'm Shaking, Eldon.

Come On, Lay Your Proof On Me.

I Can Take It.

They're Inside People.

Lots Of People.

Except Most Of Them
Don't Know It.

But Somehow You Do.

Let Me Ask You Something--

Why Is It These Space Invaders,

They Never Visit
Presidents Of Universities

Or Brain Surgeons?

How Come They Always Show Up
At Some Trailer Park

To A Mook With Bad Teeth

Who's Got A Love Thang
For His Sister?

I Didn't Ask To Be Infested
By An Alien.

Sure, You Did.

You Stopped Taking
Your Medication.

Do Me A Favor.

Pull Over, Let Me Talk To E.T.

I'll Straighten You Both Out.

I Can Feel Him
Under My Skin.

He's Trying To Get Out.

You Want To Know
The Truth, Eldon?

There Are No Aliens,

Not In Our Little Corner
Of Hell.

And If There Were,

The Last Person They'd Want
To Hang Out With Is You--

A Floater In The Shallow End
Of The Gene Pool.

I Can't Stand It Anymore.

Me Either!

Do Yourself
A Favor--

Put Yourself
Out Of Your Misery.

Your Friends
Will Thank Me.

Well, People, I've
Got To Hand It To You.

You've Taken An Otherwise
Depressing Evening

And Made It Truly Dismal.

So Until Tomorrow,

Unless I Get Really Lucky
And Die,

This Is Stan Harbinger...

The Harbinger Of Truth,

Truth, Truth, Truth, Truth...

We Got To Talk About Tomorrow.

Huh?

The Syndication Meeting?

We Need Another Station.

Tulsa Bailed, And We Need
At Least 35 Markets.

Trudy, You're
The Producer--Produce.

Can I Help You?

I'm Eldon.

We've Been Waiting For You.

Hey, Take It Easy.

If You Can See The Light,
You Can See The Truth.

What,
Are You Out Of Your Mind?

Oh, My God.

What The...

There Is Nothing Wrong

Do Not Attempt To Adjust
The Picture.

We Are Now Controlling
The Transmission.

We Control The Horizontal,

And The Vertical.

We Can Deluge You
With A Thousand Channels

Or Expand One Single Image
To Crystal Clarity...

And Beyond.

We Can Shape Your Vision

To Anything Our Imagination
Can Conceive.

For The Next Hour,

We Will Control
All That You See And Hear.

You Are About To Experience
The Awe And Mystery

Which Reaches From
The Deepest Inner Mind

To The Outer Limits.

The Skeptic's World Is
A Secure One

Built On Unshakable Truths.

But What Happens
When Its Foundation

Begins To Crumble?

I Told You, The Guy Was
Already Waiting For Me.

He Was Covered In Gasoline.

He Said A Bunch Of Stuff
That Didn't Make Any Sense.

You Didn't Try To Stop Him?

Try To Stop Him?
There Wasn't Any Time.

Then What Happened?

Then I Got Out
The Marshmallows.

The Guy Burned To Death.

End Of Story.

Thanks Very Much, Mr. Harbinger.

We'll Get
Back To You.

Thanks.

When I Think About What Happened
To That Poor Guy...

Poor Guy?

Trudy,
The Guy Tried To Set Me On Fire.

He Would Have Too,
If He Hadn't...

Hadn't?

Look.

Given The Right Time,
Place, Circumstances

Anyone Is Capable Of
Imagining Anything.

What The Hell Is That
Supposed To Mean?

It Means...

The Guy Was A Deranged Nutjob.

He Got
What He Deserved.

There He Is!

Stan,
How Do You Feel

About That Guy
Killing Himself

Because Of You?

Has Geraman
Broadcasting

Changed Its Mind
About Syndicating You?

Don't Those People Have
A War To Cover?

The Press Are
Morons.

What Are We Going
To Say To Phil?

Don't Worry About Phil.

Phil, How Are You?

Stan, You Didn't
Say Anything

To Those Ratbags,
Did You?

I'm Saving It
For The Show.

Well, We Should
Talk About That.

Phil, Don't Make Me Angry.

My Listeners Will Expect Me
To Talk About This.

I Want You To Talk About It,
But We've Got To Be Careful.

The Dead Guy.
Eldon Devries.

His Wife Wants
To Sue Everybody.

It's Totally Meritless.

Do You Honestly Believe
That It Was My Fault?

In A Literal Sense?

In Any Sense.

Geraman Broadcasting Has
Spent A Great Deal Of Money

Trying To Syndicate
Your Program.

We've Already Lost
One Potential Affiliate

Due To Local Advertiser
Resistance.

In Tulsa!

We've Got Three More Stations
Interested.

Amarillo, Poughkeepsie,
Baton Rouge.

You Hear That?
Poughkeepsie.

Are You Aware Of A Group
Called The Believers?

Are You Aware Of A Thing Called
A Nose Hair Trimmer?

They're One Of Those
Idiotic Ufo Groups

That Think The Sky Is Falling
And The Government Is In On It.

Everywhere They Look,
They See Aliens.

They're Cranks.

Lower On The Food Chain
Than Trekkies.

You Have Antagonized Them
In The Past.

Because They Live
In A Dreamworld.

They're Not Reasonable People.

They're Saying
That You Haven't Been

Entirely Truthful
About What Happened.

Have You Been Truthful With Us,
With The Police?

No,
I Set The Guy On Fire.

They Have A Good-Sized
Membership Which They Say

They'll Use To Protest
In Every City That You Go Into.

Perfect--
Instant Publicity.

Instant
Bad Publicity.

Phil...

It's A Controversial Show.

What Better Than To Go Wide
During A Controversy?

Stan, This Is More
Than A Controversy.

A Man Is Dead Here.

And These Believers Say

That You Might Have
Something To Do With It.

Big Picture--

We Want Advertisers
With Peace Of Mind

And A Willingness
To Spend Money.

The Little Picture--

Angry Nutjobs Get Stroked,
They Go Back Into Their Holes.

Where's The Difficulty?

So You Want Me
To Stroke Them A Little.

Exactly.

And Please, Apologize
To The Guy's Family.

No Mea Culpas Just You
Deeply Regret That It Happened.

Deeply And Sincerely.

So I Guess
What I'm Saying, People,

Is That It's Tragic,
The Loss Of Life.

It's Always Unfortunate.

And This Guy, Eldon,

Though He Was
Obviously Disturbed,

I Do Feel...What I Mean Is

The Fact That He Died...

I'm Sorry,

But It's Not My Fault.

The Man Was Delusional,

And So Are All Of His Whackjob,
Stargazing Friends.

Klaatu Barada Nikto.

Loosely Translated,

&Quot;Get Lives, People.&Quot;

No Apology Will Be Forthcoming.

If That Means
Kissing My Job Goodbye,

Then So Be It.

I'd Rather Flip Burgers

Than Sit Here Telling People

A Bunch Of Stuff
I Don't Believe In.

You Want Sweet Talk
That Makes You Feel Better?

Then Go To Your Mamas.

You Want The Truth, Then You've
Come To The Right Place.

Tell Me That's What
We're Doing Here,

People, Because I'm Starting
To Lose Faith.

Marco, Speak To Me.

My Station Manager Right?

F Him, Dude.
He's A Total Jerk.

Sheila, You Agree?

You're The Harbinger
Of Truth, Stan.

They Should
Apologize To You.

You Think You Headed Us Off
At The Pass?

No, I Don't Think Anything.

But I Know What I Know.

Eddie, You Read My Mind.

It's From The Lady
At The Bar.

You Going To Make Me
Drink This Alone?

I Wouldn't Dream Of
Invading Your Privacy.

You Can Invade.
I Won't Complain.

Enjoy The Drink.

I Insist You Invade My Privacy.

My Name's Stan.

I Know Who You Are.

Caught Your Show Tonight.

You Left Quite A Few Bodies
In Your Wake.

Yeah, Well,

Just Giving Them
What They Pay Me For.

I Didn't Catch
Your Name.

Darcy.

Mind If I Sit Down,

Darcy?

You A Regular Listener?

Occasional.

It's Not Often I'm By A Radio
That Time Of Night.

Well, What Are You
Usually Doing?

Working.

Playing...Whatever.

But Not Tonight.

No.

Tonight I Got Lucky.

Let Me Put It This Way.

I Come From The, Um...

Other Side Of The Other Side
Of The Tracks.

You Know
That Expression

&Quot;The Meek Shall Inherit
The Earth.&Quot;

What It Really Means Is
They Inherit The Dirt.

Life Is Pointless,
Heaven's A Fantasy,

And Hell Is
Right Here On Earth.

Doesn't Give A Person
Much Reason To Go On Living.

Ah, But That's Why You...

You Have To Find The Reason.

From The Moment
I Saw You,

I Had A Definite Reason.

And What Would That Be?

To See How Good You'd Look

With This Outfit
Folded Over A Chair.

And That's Supposed To Give Me
A Reason To Go On?

It's The Reason
You Bought Me A Drink.

Actually, No.

I, Um, I Just Wanted
To Get To Know You Better.

Well, Now You Know Me.

Apparently You Don't Know Me.

I Would Never Fold
My Dress Over A Chair.

I'd Slip It On A Hanger--
A Wooden One.

I Could See Killing A Tree
To Make That Happen.

Pay For The Drinks

While I Pop To The Ladies'.

Stan!

Stan!

What The Hell
Are You Doing?

Here's Some Water.

Want Something Stronger?

I'll Get It.

Uh, Yeah.

Some Vodka.

It's In The Freezer.

So, Not That
I'm The Jealous Type,

But Is This A Habit
Of Yours,

Following Strange Women
Out Into The Street?

Oh, Yeah,
A Really Bad One.

Say,
You Didn't Notice

Anything Unusual
About This Woman?

You Mean,
Besides The Bad Dye Job,

Crummy Lipstick,
And Those Shoes?

No, Nothing.

Are You All Right?

My Doctor Keeps Telling Me
That Too Many Antacid Tablets

Are Bad For Me.

I'm Beginning To Think
He's Right.

You Know How It Is.

A Guy Gets Indigestion,

Suddenly He Thinks He's Got
A Tumor Growing Inside Of Him.

It's Conspiracy
On A Molecular Level.

You Said It, Sister.

And It's Insidious.

And There's Nothing
We Can Do About It.

So,
This Other Woman.

Clearly I'm Going To
Have To Do Something

To Make You Forget
About Her.

What Other Woman?

I Think I've Changed My Mind
About That Image I Had Of You.

Oh, Yeah?

You'd Look Even Better

With This Outfit
Right Here On The Floor.

That Mouth Of Yours Is
A Dangerous Weapon.

Tell Me About It.

So, Would You
Really Quit

If They Forced You
To Apologize?

Where Did That
Come From?

I Have A Confession
To Make.

I'm Not Actually
An Occasional Listener.

The Ugly Truth
Comes Out.

You Listen
All The Time?

No, No, No.

Not When You're
On Vacation.

I Don't Do
&Quot;Best Of&Quot; Shows.

I Prefer It Live
And In My Face.

I Guess I Sort Of
Saw It Coming.

What Can I Say?

You Inspired Me.

Like The Way You Handled
That Guy Who Killed Himself.

My Buddy Eldon.

Mm-Hmm.

I Could Have
Called In My Support,

But Actions Speak
So Much Louder Than Words.

I Thought You Guys Were Clear
On The Apology Issue.

It's Not Going
To Happen.

It's Going To Happen,
Or Else.

You've Made
A Bad Situation Worse.

Our Advertisers
Are Going Off Their Nut.

Not To Mention
The Effect You Had

If Stan's Not Willing
To Help Us,

We'll Have To Re-Evaluate
Our Willingness To Help Stan.

Jules Mason,
Our Afternoon Guy, Could Do It.

Jules Sucks.

Ask The Believers

What They'd Like Stan To Say,
And He Could Read It On The Air.

You Know,
That Sounds Tempting.

You Would Let Those Psychos
Put Words In His Mouth?

Would All Of You
Please Shut Up?

Trudy?

You're Brilliant.

If They Want A Soapbox,

We'd Be Stupid
Not To Give It To Them.

I Was Being Sarcastic.

A 50,000 Watt
Megaphone

So They Can Tell The World

That We're Surrounded
By Martians.

It'll Be Like Shooting Turkeys
With A Bazooka.

You Want To Drive Another One
Of These Schmucks To Suicide?

Whoever The Guy Is,
I'll Give Him An Open Mike.

I Don't Think Your Listeners
Will Go For That.

What Do You Want To Bet

That The Believers Make
Total Fools Of Themselves?

We'll Ask Them
About Eldon,

What They Think
Happened.

I'm Dying To Hear
Their Explanation.

That Way
The Radio Station's

Our Listeners Get A Good Laugh

And Maybe Finally We'll Have
Something Else To Talk About.

I Hope You Know
What You're Doing.

What's The Matter?
You Don't Trust Me Anymore.

It's The Believers
I'm Worried About.

Stan, Your Guests Are Here.

Send Them In.

I Thought They Were
Going To Send One Guy.

Two People--
Twice As Much Fun.

If I Were Babe Ruth,

I'd Be Pointing Toward
The Bleachers.

Mr. Harbinger?
Nice To Meet You.

I'm Moses Saxon.

Oh, Yeah, Hi, Moses.

You Already Know
My Associate, Ms. Kipling.

How Are You, Stan?

Stan, Talk To Me.

What's Going On?

She's A Believer.

Time Is Running Out
For People On This Planet.

No Wonder You Left Me
Before I Woke Up.

You Two
Slept Together?

Okay, I Don't Think
We Should Do This.

We Have A Deal.

We're Back
From Commercial

I Say
We Blow It Off.

Surely
You're Not Afraid Of Us.

Don't Flatter Yourself.

Unless You Don't Want
Your Audience To Know

That You Saw An Alien
Several Nights Ago.

What Are You Talking About?

We're Back
In 20.

You Know The Truth
And You Refuse To Reveal It.

Sit Down.

Trudy, Set Up Their Mikes.

Okay.

No, Uh, Editorializing.

That's The Deal.

Hey, It's
Stan Harbinger.

We're Back At Ya.

Before The Break, I Told You
We Had A Very Special Guest.

Well, I Lied.

We Have Two Guests.

Our First Is Moses Saxon.

Moses Is A Creepy-Looking Guy
With Bad Skin

Who I Haven't
Gotten To Know Yet

And Don't Think I Will.

His Cohort Is Darcy...

Darcy, What Is Your Last Name?

Kipling.

Kipling.

Well, That's
A Different Story.

Darcy And I Are Old Friends.

In Fact, You Could Say
That We Both Know

What The Other Looks Like
Drunk And Naked.

Don't We, Sweetie?

Our Agreement Was--

Eat Me.

Come On, Darcy, Tell
My Listeners How Good I Was.

You Were Great.

Put A Big Smile On My Face.

And You Put
A Big Smile On Mine.

Two Big Smiles.

I Want To Say
That The Believers

Have No Quarrel
With You, Mr. Harbinger.

We Believe In The Truth
As Much As You Do.

Is That Right?

And The Truth Is,
Earth Is Being Colonized

By Beings From
Another Part Of The Galaxy.

For The Moment,
Their Numbers Are Too Few

To Guarantee Success,

So While They Wait For
More Of Their Kind To Arrive,

They Live Covertly Inside People
Like Eldon Devries.

Do You Have An Alien
Slumming Inside Of You?

It Is Possible,
And I'd Have No Way Of Knowing.

Most Aliens' Hosts Are
Ordinary People Who Are Unaware

Of The Awful Thing
Living Inside Of Them.

But Sometimes That Control
The Aliens Have, It Breaks Down.

We Don't Know Why.

That's What Happened
To Eldon.

He Became Aware

And He In Turn Tried
To Make Us Aware Through You.

Which Episode Of Dr. Who
Did You Steal This From?

You Saw Eldon Devries Die,
Mr. Harbinger.

You Saw The Alien Inside Of Him
Vacate Eldon's Body.

Why Won't You Tell
The Truth About It?

Maybe Because
It Didn't Happen.

You've Been Sensitized

To The Light Frequency
In Which The Aliens Live.

In Fact, You've Seen

At Least One Other Alien
Since Eldon, Haven't You?

You Told Ms. Kipling Yourself
That You Have Seen Aliens,

That You Saw The Alien
That Emerged From Eldon Devries.

Your Listeners Deserve To Know

What You Said The Other Night.

The Ugly Truth

About Eldon Is,
He Was Right.

I Didn't Say That.

The Ugly Truth
Comes Out.

It Was Something--
Inside Of Him.

An Alien?
Yeah.

It's Insidious.

There's Nothing
We Can Do About It.

There's Nothing
We Can Do About It.

This Tape Is
Completely Fabricated.

Are You Saying
That It's Not Your Voice?

Do Tell Us
The Truth.

What Did You See
As Eldon Devries Was Dying?

Just Say It,
Mr. Harbinger.

Tell The Audience
What You Saw.

Stan!

What The Hell
Were You Thinking?

The Guy Set Me Up.

Stan, You Attacked
The Man On The Air.

I Should Have Killed
The Son Of A Bitch.

You're Lucky He's
Not Pressing Charges.

Don't Be A Jellyfish.

You Don't Get It.

Well, Get This--
It's Over.

You Don't Work Here
Anymore.

That's Exactly What
They Want You To Do.

That's Fine,
That's Fine.

It's Over.
They Win.

Phil,
You Don't Want To Do This.

Look,
We're Fired, Okay?

There's A Trillion
People Out There

Who Want To Be
In Business With Us.

Provided You Don't
Kill Them First.

I'll Go A Couple Rounds
With You.

Go To Hell, Jules.

You Wish You Could Do
What Stan Does.

I'll Remember That

When I'm In Syndication
Instead Of Him.

I Got To Hand It
To You, Darcy.

You're A Woman
Of Many Talents.

I Wasn't Supposed
To Sleep With You.

I Did That
Because I Wanted To.

The Truth Is, Stan,
I Like You.

Oh, Yeah, Well,
I Like You Too.

So What Was That?

Some Kind Of Bonus?

I Didn't Catch Anything
From You, Did I?

You Have
To Believe Me.

Getting You Thrown
Off The Air Was Not Our Goal.

All We Wanted Was For You
To Tell The Damn Truth.

The Truth?
Like That Tape You Manufactured?

We're At War, Stan.

War Changes Everything.

And The Truth Is,
You Have Seen Aliens.

The Woman In The Bar.
What Was So Unusual About Her?

There Could Be
A Thousand Other Explanations.

Tell Me About The Sounds
You've Been Hearing Then.

Most People Who Report Sightings
Also Report Hearing

The Distinctive
Alien Triple Heartbeat.

Look,

Given The Right
Time, Place,

Circumstances.

Are You Going To Deny

The Headaches
You've Been Having?

They're Terrible,
And They Never Go Away.

It's The Light
That's Doing It.

Our Human Brains
Don't Normally Perceive

The Light Frequencies
In Which The Aliens Exist.

But If You Can See
The Light...

You Can See The Truth.

You Should See All The Evidence
We've Accumulated.

Stan, Let Us Help You

Before The Aliens Start
Screwing With You.

They Want You To Think
That You're Going Crazy.

I'm Not Going Crazy!

How Do You Feel About That Guy
Killing Himself Because Of You?

I'm Eldon.

Been Waiting, Waiting For You.

He's Trying To Get Out!

They're Inside People.

Lots Of People.

But It's Not My Fault.

Do Tell Us The Truth.

You Saw An Alien Emerge
From Him, Didn't You?

You're Saying
That It's Not Our Voice?

It's The Light
That's Doing It To You, Stan.

If You Can See
The Light...

It's The Believers
I'm Worried About.

Surely You're Not Afraid
Of Us, Mr. Harbinger.

That Tape Is
Completely Fabricated.

They Want You To Think
That You're Going Crazy.

I Don't Know Why
I Didn't See It Before,

That's The Kind Of Garbage
These Bastards Are Into.

Now, Mind You--

This Isn't Exactly What
Their Alien Looks Like.

The Skin's Not Right,
And The Eyes.

Oh, My God!

I'm Not Making This Up.

What About Eldon, Okay?

Was He Wearing A Mask?

You're Starting To Sound
Like One Of Them.

Stan, I've Been Talking
To Some People.

Some Of The Smaller Markets,

Real Rathole Stations
With Nothing To Lose

And They Might Be Willing
To Give Us A Shot.

Are You Interested?

Trudy, I Think
You Hit On Something.

I'm So Glad
To Hear You Say That.

It's Going
To Take Some Time,

But If We Can Start With
The Smaller Markets

And Then Platform Into
The Bigger Ones...

Eldon Was One Of Them.

He Was In On It.

They Put On A Whole Show
For My Benefit,

Rig It With Smoke And Fire,

Yank A Body
Out Of The Morgue.

Don't You See, Trudy?

Eldon's Alive--
I Bet My Life On It.

He's Alive, And I'm
Going To Prove It.

As Far As I'm Concerned,

That Stan Harbinger Is
The Scum Of The Earth.

I Don't Care
That He's Out Of Work.

That's Not Going
To Bring Eldon Back.

Vindictive?

Morty, Don't You Understand?

I'm Not Suing Him For Me,
I'm Suing Him For Eldon!

My Head Is Splitting.

I've Got To Go Lie Down.

I Don't Know
How Far Away It Was.

All I Know Is That It Was,
Or That It Seemed Like It Was.

That Sounds Right.

We Know They Use

That Spectrum Of Light For
Transport And Communication.

I Didn't Give Him
Any Of It, Moses.

No...Maybe
He Found It On-Line.

Moses!
I Saw Something, All Right?

Something I Cannot Explain.

Something That Is Beyond
My Realm Of Comprehension!

Do You Think I Invited You Here
Because I Wanted To Hang Out?

Is That
Really Necessary?

Yes.

It's The Only Thing
That Works For My Headache.

I Believe Him.

Thank You.

We'll Put A Watch
On The House.

A Watch?
People Need To Know About This.

For The Moment I Prefer
That We Not Tip Them Off.

But There Is An Alien
Living In That House

Having Lightwave Conversations
With...

With Some Kind Of Starship.

Will You Listen To Me...

I Got To Go.
That's It?

Look, I Believe You.

I Want To Help!

We'd Prefer
That You Didn't.

Stan, When You
Lost Your Job,

You Compromised
Your Usefulness To Us.

Right Now You're A Pariah.

A Pariah?

For Everyone's Sake,
Just Do As You're Told.

One Minute You Want Me
To Tell The World

We're Surrounded By Aliens,
The Next Minute

You Want Me
To Shut Up About It.

There's Something Else
You Should Know.

You're In A Lot Of Danger.

It's Best
If You Lie Low.

If You Don't,
They'll Come For You.

You're A Threat.

More Of A Threat Than You Are?

We Can't See Them.

If They Did Come For Us,

They Know They'd Be
Proving Us Right.

Stan, Your Only Hope Is
To Just Disappear.

Thanks For Coming, Trudy.

I Got An Idea.

We Get As Many Stations
As We Can, All Right?

I Don't Care If There Are
10 Listeners.

For The Last Couple Of Days,
I've Seen Things--

Things You Wouldn't Believe.

I'm Not Sure
I Believe Them.

But They're Real.

They're Real As Can Be.

I Got To Be Out There.

I Got To Make Noise About It.

It's Great To See
That Spark In You Again,

But The Deal Is Gone.

No, No,
You've Got To Call Them Back.

You Get
Their Numbers.

I'll Call Them Back.

You Need To Get
Some Help.

No, No, No, No.

Trudy, Trudy.

I Know...I Haven't Been--

Yeah,
You Know, Um,

I Got To Tell You
That I...

I Went
Back To Phil

And I Begged
For Our Jobs Back.

He Said Yes?

He Gave Me My Job Back.

I'm Producing
Jules Mason's New Show.

You Know, As Soon
As I Feel Like

Phil Trusts Me Again,
I'll Work On Him.

He'll Bring You Back,
I Know He Will.

Get Out.

Stan?

No, Go On, Get Out.

So I Say To The Girl,

&Quot;Honey, Where Did You Get
The Implants?&Quot;

I Mean,
She Had Breasts

The Size Of Howitzer Casings.

Bad Boob Jobs--
Let's Talk About It, People.

Hey, Trudy.

What's It Like Working
With A Sane Person?

For Those Of You
Not In The Know,

My Producer Used To Work
With Stan Harbinger.

Wow,
Only Two Weeks Off The Air,

Already Relegated To
The &Quot;Where Are They Now?&Quot; File.

Stan's Doing Just Fine.
He'll Be Back Soon.

But Not On These Airwaves.

Wow, It Looks Like
We Have Our First Caller.

Joe, Do You Have
A Bad Boob Job Story?

Yeah, I Got

It's Not About Your Boobs,
Is It, Joe?

This Is About
Something

Way More Important
Than That.

More Important Than Boobs?

Well, I Guess That
Would Depend On

Where The Fate Of The Universe
Fits Into Your Scheme Of Things.

Oh, Thanks For The Call, Joe.

I Used To Be
A Cynic,

But Then I Saw
Something.

Except
When I Saw It,

I Didn't Want To Accept
That My View Of The World

Could Be So...

Wrong.

Is That Right, Joe?

What Did You See?

I Saw The Truth.

Aliens Are Real.

They're Here.

They Want Our Planet,
And They're Going To Take It.

Ladies And Gentlemen,

It Seems We Have A Very
Special Guest On The Phone.

That Is You, Stan, Isn't It?

The Believers Were
Right About Eldon.

When He Died, The Alien
That Lived Inside Him,

He Tried To Escape.

He Died Anyway.

And I Saw It.

I Believe You, Stan.

You're The Harbinger Of Truth.

You Wouldn't Make Up Stuff.

Look, You
Little Pissant.

I Am Not
Some Crackpot.

That's Right Up There
With &Quot;I Am Not A Crook.&Quot;

Of Course
You're A Crackpot, Stan.

That's Why You're There
And I'm Here.

I'm Warning You, Jules.

Jules.

Stan,
I Swear To God--

Nice To See You Too, Phil.

Wow, Size Triple-Ds.

Can I Get A Picture
Of Them?

Stan, Don't!

Get A Picture Of This.

Please.

Please, You've Got
To Let Me See Stan.

The Alien Died
Because Eldon Killed It.

He Forced It Into The Light.

Our Frequency Is Hard On Them,

Just Like Their Light Frequency
Is Hard On Us.

But They Can Survive
If They're In A Human Host.

I Mean,
Look It Up For Yourself.

Stan, We're Trying

But You've Got
To Put Down The Gun.

Stan, We're Working
To Get You Back On The Air.

But We Need More Time.

Stop Stalling!

Communicate
Through The Computer.

Are You Seeing These Aliens

I'm Seeing It Because Of Eldon.

He Showed Me The Light.

They're Saying
If You Release One Of Us,

They'll Let You Broadcast.

I Want This Mike Hot Now,
Or I'll Empty The Gun In Him.

They're Saying They
Have To Speak To You Personally.

You Want These People To Die,
Is That It?

Oh, My Head.

The Aliens Think This Is Going
To Stop Me, But They're Wrong.

You See,
That's The Problem.

Eldon Didn't Know
There Was An Alien Inside Him

Until The Very End.

I Bet You If I Went
Up To His Wife Right Now

And Told Her
There Was An Alien Inside Of Her

She'd Think I Was Insane.

You A Insane.

I Swear To God,
Jules.

Put Us On The Airwaves Or
There's Going To Be Bloodshed.

Relax, Stan.
You Win.

We're Putting You
Back On The Air.

Good! Do It!

First I'm Going
To Tell You The Deal

And It's Not Negotiable.

I'm Going To Clear Out
This Building,

Then You're Going
To Release The Girl.

When She's Outside And Safe,
You're Back On The Air.

You Have Five Minutes
To Say Your Piece,

Then You'll Put Down
The Gun And Walk Out.

You're A Man
Of Your Word,

Am I Right?

Then The Way
I Just Described It,

That's How
It's Going To Be.

I'll See You.

Get That Transmitter Cranked Up.

Yeah.

Trudy,
Am I On The Air?

Loud And Clear, Stan.

You're Coming Out Of
Every Radio Here.

Good.

I Want To Talk About The Truth.

You Know The Old Saying

&Quot;If You Talk To God,
It's Called Prayer.

&Quot;If God Talks To You,

It's Called
Paranoid Schizophrenia.&Quot;

Well, When You Think About
What The Aliens Are Doing,

I Got To Hand It To Them.

Their Strategy Is Brilliant--

Divide And Conquer.

Make Half The World Think
Aliens Do Exist.

Make The Other Half Think
The First Half Is Crazy.

You Keep Playing

The Ends Against The Middle
While You Invade From The Rear,

Till Nobody Knows
What's What Anymore.

And The Punchline
To This Great Joke

Is That They Get
People Like Me

To Tell People Like You

That People Like Them
Don't Exist.

Let Me Tell You,
I Have Been Wrong.

We Are Surrounded.

Something's Wrong
With The Signal.

It's Like We're
Kicking Out At 10 Watts.

Actually It's 2.

That's What
The Police Wanted.

Frankly, I Hate It
That We Gave In At All.

Son Of A Bitch!

They Could Be Living
Inside You.

Someone You Love.

You Hear Me,
People?

You Know What I'm Saying
Is True.

Oh, My God.

What The Hell's
Happening To Me?

Oh.

They're In Me.

They're In Me.

They're In Me!

I'm One Of Them.

Jules,

Get Out, Get Out.

They're Aliens, Jules.

Run.

Jules, You're Surrounded.

Run!

Yeah, We're Aliens,
All Right.

Who Isn't?

Must Have Hurt
Like Hell.

Battle Going On
Between Your Ears.

Shame.

He Was So Useful To Us.

Won't Be Easy Finding
Another Harbinger Of Truth.

May I?

No.

Run, Jules.

Damn, He Killed
The Hostage

Before
We Could Stop Him.

Then When He Pointed
His Gun At Us...

You Wanted
The Truth, Stan?

Now You've Got It.

It's Them.

They're The Ones.

They Did This To Stan.

Get That Nut
Out Of Here.

They're Not
Who You Think They Are.

Listen To Me,
I'm Telling You The Truth!

If We Mock That Which

We May Learn Too Late

That The Penalty For
Such Arrogance Is Annihilation.

Captioning Performed By

Western Captioning Service Ltd.
Vancouver, B.C. 1998