All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S07E16 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Rory: are you sure
We got enough plain onesies?

Lorelai: let me see.

40 people have rsvped "Yes"
To lane's shower,

And we bought 60 onesies
For them to decorate.

I don't want to go
All "Beautiful mind" on you,

But according
To my calculations...

Yes, mr. Nash,

But you are forgetting about
The first-pancake phenomenon.

Eh?

The first pancake --
You always throw it out.

What if people start
Decorating their onesies

And they hate what they do,
So they want to start over

And we don't have
Enough onesies

Because we only estimated
One each?

Why do you throw out
The first pancake?

The griddle's too hot.
It gets burned.

Oh, my god.
Next year, no excuses.

We are making you that
Audition tape for "Top chef."

This is
Pretty basic stuff.

Do you do it with hamburgers
And waffles, too?

No, it's pancake-specific.

Oh, my goodness.

Well, that's good news,

Because onesies are
The exact opposite of pancakes.

They're totally impossible
To screw up.

You can slap anything
On a onesie and it looks cute.

Anything?
Yeah.

Alligator,
Fried egg, tools --

These are not generally
Considered cute items.

"I'll take the adorable
Phillips-head --"

Not something
You hear normally.

But you put that
On a little onesie --

You're right --
It's pretty damn cute.

All right, we got streamers
And balloons,

And the cake's
In the fridge.

The chairs are getting
Delivered later.

All we have to do now
Is go home and decorate.

But did we agree on one table
For presents or two?
One.

Well, don't you think
Two would be better?
One is fine.

Okay. But I'm not going
For "Fine," you know?

Lane's shower cannot be fine.
I want it to be great.

It will be.

How do you know? I don't have
The best track record.

Lane's bachelorette party,

We ended up
In brian's aunt's basement.

[ cell phone rings ]
Well, it was
Your first pancake.

Hmm. Hold on.

Hello?

Yes, this is rory.

Um...

New york times.

Hi. Um, thank you
For calling me back.

Thank you so much.

Yes.

Uh...A-as a matter of fact,
I will be.

The corner of 9th and --
Great.

Um, okay.
Uh, I'll see you then.

Oh, my god.

The new york times?
The new york times!

They called you?
Why did they call you?

Well --
Don't even answer.

If I was the new york times,
I would be like,

"Get me rory gilmore
On the phone, stat."

"Stat"?
Whatever the equivalent
Of "Stat" is in the news.

"Now"?
No!

At the new york times,
The language is very fancy.

You say "Promptly," "Presently,"
"Two shakes of a lamb's tail."

Why did they call you?

Well, okay,
Remember that guy hugo gray

That I met
At logan's work party,

The guy who edits
The online magazine?

Yeah, you're writing pieces
For him.

Hugo has an in at the times --
This guy a.J. Abrams.

He's an assistant
Managing editor -- really big.

He gave me a.J.'s number
And said that I should call him

And see if he would get together
With me for coffee

So I could pick his brain.

A.J.'s brain?
Well, hugo's brain
Had been picked clean.

But, yeah, I called a.J.,
And I never heard back.

I didn't think
He was gonna call me,

But that was him just now
On the phone, and he said

That if I was gonna be in
The city tomorrow around 1:00,

He could meet me
For coffee.

And I said, "Oh, well,
As a matter of fact, I will be."

He said something about a place
On 9th, and I said, "Okay,"

And he said, "See you tomorrow,"
And I said, "See you then."

Oh, my god,
If this is any indication

Of the crackling
Spitfire dialogue

To come at your coffee
Tomorrow -- ha!

This is the worst possible time,
But I just couldn't say no.

No, you couldn't say no.
I mean, let's face it.

"Top chef" is a long shot.
This is the new york times.

But I have so much to do to get
Ready for lane's baby shower.

I'll take care of it.

Are you sure?

Yes, I'm like a professional
Party-thrower.

Well, I know, but --
No buts.

Okay, I mean --
That would be great.

I should probably spend
The night at logan's tonight.

My laptop's there.
I need to print out my résumé.

God, I need to prepare.

He's gonna expect me to ask him
Really intelligent questions.

You've been asking intelligent
Questions since you were 3.

He's probably expecting
Something more sophisticated.

Than "What is a color?"
That one, like, blew my mind.

Something a little more
Newspaper-related, at the least.

You're gonna be great.

Even if they don't have
An opening there,

He knows people all across
The country, you know?

If I impress him,

He can set me up
With some really good leads.

Yeah, well, tell him your mother
Thinks you're spectacular.

I will do.
Oh, my god.

The new york times
Called me --

And not
The subscriptions department.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need
If you need *

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

How's the sign?

Is it straight?

Oh, it's cute.

Yes, that's funny.

Thanks.

Not what you asked.
No.

Hit me again.

Is the sign straight?
Uh, perfect.

Great.

Ooh, angelina and brad
Had their baby...

Months and months ago!

Yeah, you're a little
Behind the times.

This is the problem
With having two kids under 4 --

World events
Just pass you by.

Are you done
With those favors?

Mm-hmm.

I cannot believe
Britney is driving

With her baby on her lap
Like that.

What is she doing
With that guy, by the way?

Well, you'll be glad to know
They've since broken up,

Although it turns out

He was kind of a stabilizing
Influence in her life.

You're kidding.

I know -- why don't you blow up
Some more balloons

Or hang some streamers?

I would love to, but it seems
Like the baby really wants me

To just keep sitting here
And reading in touch.

That excuse expires the minute
You pop that baby out.

Yep, but I've got
128 lazy days left.

Hey, why don't you go through
The stack of pictures?

Rory is looking for one of lane
That she wants to blow up.

Ooh, baby pictures --
Fun!

What do we got?

Oh, god.

Ooh!
This one is so cute.

That's just of rory,
Though.
I know.

She was just an itty-bitty,
Teeny, little, cutie-patootie,

Wasn't she?

Yeah, she's cute.

Oh, she weally, weally was,
Wasn't she?

Seriously,
With the voice...

Well, sorry.
I'm hormonal.

[ gasps ]

I just can't believe
This wittle girl

Might be working
At the new york times.

She's not so wittle anymore.
Hey, less rory, more lane.

Don't blame me.

I'm not the one that got
Camera-happy for this rory kid.

I'm gonna call mrs. Kim.
She'll have some good ones.

Have you seen the phone?

See, the thing is,
When I sat down,

I realized it was behind me,
Kind of right on my lower back,

And normally
I would have pulled it out,

But it's really kind of hitting
Just the right spot

Where I've had a knot
For like a week.

Did I mention
I was pregnant?

[ keys jingle ]

[ glass shatters ]

Rory: logan?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Go back to bed. Go back to bed.

Logan,
It's really late.

I know. I know. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Go back to bed.

Is this all the cheese
That we have?

I could have sworn
We had more cheese.

It's 3:00 in the morning.

I know.
Here, keep that closed.

We're gonna need that
In the sandwich-making process.

Where were you?

What? I was at work.

You were at work
Till 3:00 in the morning?

I work till 3:00
All the time.

I mean, not tonight --

Tonight, I worked
Till about 10:00,

And that's when philip and I
Got something to drink,

And then a little something
Turned into a lot of something.

Who keeps bread in the
Refrigerator? I hate cold bread.

God, these twist ties
Are impossible.

Okay, move.

What?

I'll make you a sandwich.

You will?
Yes, I will.

Oh, you're so sweet.

Well, I'm not being sweet.
You're just making a mess.

I should have called you.
Yes, you should have.

Uh-oh. You're mad.

Yes, I'm mad.
I was worried about you.

I called you four times
Before I went to sleep, okay?

You didn't answer,
No call back.

I'm sorry.
You're sorry?

Well, my phone
Was on "Off."

Which totally sounds
Like it's on, but it's not.

It's on "Off,"
Which is on "Off."

On "Off," got it?

I get it.

What, I'm not allowed
To go out with my friends

Every once in a while?

I work hard, okay?
Life is hard.

I just -- I need to --

You need to what?

I need to not be doing this
Right now, okay?

Forget the sandwich.
I'm just gonna go to bed.

[ sighs ]

So you're telling me
You won't eat this oatmeal?

These are rolled oats
Repeatedly cut,

Twice steamed,
And processed extensively.

And the oatmeal you thought
You were ordering was...

Steel cut,
Which are whole-grain oats,

Retaining
The more natural, nutty flavor

Of the original
Oat kernels.

Okay, okay.
I think I got it.

You're like an analog guy
With a cd.

You miss the vinyl's
Cool scratches and pops.

I think
I can work with that.

This dude over here
Wants to replace this

With some sort
Of steel oatmeal.

Tell him we've got it
But it takes forever to cook,

And then deliver those plates
To table 5.

I'm on it.

Luke, check it out.
I've been published.
You have?

Mother wanted to sell
Her dinette set,

So I put pen to paper,
Got my creative juices flowing,

And voilà.

You put a want ad
In the stars hollow gazette?

It's a powerful feeling seeing
Yourself immortalized in print.

Sure, it's only newsprint.

It rips easily,
It comes off on your fingers,

And the next day,
People use it to wrap fish,

But, hey,
It's how dickens got started.

In want ads?

Man, this thing
Really flows --

"Vintage dinette set,
Formica,

Barely chipped,
Priced to move."

It's precise, efficient,

Hemingwayesque
In its terse simplicity.

Hey, with two buns
In the oven,

You wouldn't be interested
In a dinette set, would you?

No, thanks, man.

Hey, luke, you still haven't
Rsvped for the baby shower.

Yeah, I don't think
I'm gonna go.

Oh, really?

Yeah, it's not my thing,
You know?

But there's a gift for you
In the back.

Wait -- gifts are required?

Yeah, that's kind of
The whole point.

At least that's how lane
Talked me into the whole thing.

Damn.
It's my first baby shower.

I've been so caught up
With the wardrobe question.

Just to clarify,

People don't actually dress
Like babies, do they?

I think what you're wearing
Is fine, dude.

Luke, you should come.
Yeah, thanks.

Look, it's not gonna be
Too much of a rager --

Real mellow vibe, and I promise
Not too much baby stuff.

There won't be anything weird
Or queer about it at all.

I'll think about it.

Listen to this one --

"Does the spray of
The open ocean call your name?"

Evocative, huh?
This guy can write.

"Sturdy
15-foot fishing boat.

Back-to-back seats, closed bow,
Meticulously handcrafted."

How far out of town
Is 1211 elmwood?

1211 elmwood?

That's what it says here.

Let me see that.

That's my boat!

Really?

How much are you asking?

I wasn't looking for a boat,
But that ad is so snappy,

It makes me think
I wouldn't mind owning one.

So, what's it going to be,
Yes or no?

Well, I really like them.

I'm just not sure how
They're gonna work in the room.

They will work. They are teak.
Teak is a hardworking wood.

How about I take them out
On memo?
Memo?

You know, bring them home,
See how they look.

If I like them,
Then I'll buy them.

No! I do not work with memos.
I work with money.

You buy them,
And th you take them home.

What if they don't fit
Next to the bed?

Then you'll get
A new bed.

Hi, mrs. Kim.
Lorelai.

How's business?

People die, go bankrupt.

There's always furniture
To sell.

You've come for pictures
Of lane? Here you are.

I am giving these to you
In pristine condition,

And I expect that that is
How they will be returned.

Do not cut them up
Or put glue on the back.

I will do my best.

I will return them
In the condition

In which
They were received.

See you at the shower.

Oh, no, you won't.

Why?
I'm not going.

You're not going to
Your daughter's shower? Why not?

Lane knows why.

Oh. There's a problem
Between you two?
Yes.

Do you think you could put it
Aside for one day?
No.

It's that big a deal?
Yes.

Is there anything lane could do
That would change your mind?

Yes.

Does lane know
What it is?
Yes.

What do I have,
Like 14 questions left?

I have work to do.

I know lane would really
Like you to be at the shower.

Well, life is full
Of disappointments.

You can show yourself out.

Too late! You cannot buy
Those tables anymore!

Okay, then.

Hi.

Wow.
Sorry, but, hoo!

Wow.

Every day, I think I can't
Possibly get any bigger,

And then I do.

It's looking homey
In here.

Thanks. According to my book,
I'm nesting.

I hope it stops soon.
It's sort of creeping me out.

So, what's up?

Um, well, I wanted to talk
To you about your mom.

Oh.

What happened
With you guys?
Ask her.

I've already been through that.
You tell me what happened.

We got in a fight.

And now she says she's not
Coming to my baby shower.

So, fine. She's not coming.
I don't care.

Lane.

Why should I?
She doesn't.

Of course she does.

Not more than she cares
About fried shrimp.

You lost me there.

Well, last night,
My mom was over.

Zach had cut out an ad
For red lobster.

He was trying
To figure out,

If we went there
After we had the babies,

Could we get the endless shrimp
But at the kids' price?

You can only get
The kids' price

When accompanied by an adult
Paying full price.

That blows.

I know.
Then what happened?

So then my mom sticks
Her nosy head in and said,

"The children are not gonna be
Eating fried shrimp."

And I said,
"Not only are my children

"Gonna be eating
Fried shrimp,

"They're gonna listen
To whatever music they want

"And go to school dances,

"And they're not gonna spend
Their whole lives in church

"Hearing about how doing
All that makes them evil.

"In fact, they'll probably never
Set foot in a church at all.

"My kids are gonna have
Total freedom. End of story."

Total freedom, huh?
Yep.

You're just gonna let them
Follow their passion,

No matter what it is?

Exactly.

What if you get kids who are
Passionate about religion?

You may have kids
Who wa to study the bible.

Trust me -- my kids are not
Gonna want to study the bible.

You don't know
What your kids are gonna want.

You think your mom thought

She was gonna get a kid
Who loved jane's addiction?

Well...

You might get kids
Who are nuts for exodus,

Crazy for deuteronomy,
And then what?

You want them hiding their
Bibles under the floorboards?

Well, look, if my kids
Want to go to bible study,

They can go
To bible study.

Well, see?
And then what about church?

If they want to go to church,
You're not gonna let them,

Even at christmas,
When they have the manger

And the petting zoo
With the sheep and the donkeys?

Well, I might take them
At christmas.

So when you say
They're never going to church,

You don't really mean
They're never going to church.

Okay, not never never,
But mostly never.

Can't you tell
Your mom that?
No way.

Can I tell your mom that?

Okay, if you want,

But tell her I am not bending
On the shrimp thing.

Fried shrimp is one of
The best things on the planet.

A double whammy -- unclean meat
Fried in unclean oil.

That doesn't sound as good,
But look at it this way.

For the first year,

Your kids won't be eating
Solid food anyway,

And I don't think they make
Mashed fried shrimp.

So?

So, you could
Tell your mother

That your kids
Will not eat fried shrimp

For at least a year,
Right?

Well, technically.

"Technically"
Is good enough for me.

You sit tight.
I'll be back.

[ door closes ]

[ sighs ]

It's after 12:00.
Is anyone alive in there?

I'm alive,
But I think my brain is dead.

I'll alert
The transplant team.

You gave away my organs?

They're waiting on the roof
With a cooler.

Take these.

Will I wake up in a bathtub
Full of ice with no kidneys?

If you did,
Would you feel better or worse?

About the same.

Your dad's secretary called
Three times this morning.

Okay, now I feel worse.

Logan, what's going on?

Nothing.

You're not gonna call
Your dad back?

My head grew three sizes
Overnight.

I'm in no condition
To talk to anybody.

Why are you so dressed up?

Coffee with
The new york times --

The whole reason why
I stayed over last night.

Oh, yeah, that's right.
That's today.

Yes,
And lane's baby shower.

I need you to be ready to leave
The second I get back.

We're gonna be
Cutting it really close.

Lane's shower
Starts at 4:00.

I should be back by 2:00 or 2:30
At the latest. Got it?

Got it.

Okay, I'll grab my outfit,
And we'll go.

I'm gonna need you to drive
Because I have to change

In the backseat,
"Dirty dancing"-style.

[ telephone ringing ]
Do you want me
To get that?

Leave it.

If you don't want to get up,
I can --
I said, "Leave it."

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

[ ringing continues ]

I better go.
I don't want to be late.

It's logan.
Leave a message.

[ beep ]

Hi, logan. It's doris
From your father's office again.

If you could just give us a call
Back here at the office

As soon as you get this message.

[ groans ]
I know you have the number,
But just in case...

See? Look at it.

It's just sitting here gathering
Dust and taking up space.

If we got rid of the boat,
We could turn this place

Into a workshop for my jewelry,
And I could use the space.

Doula's gonna be
Crawling around soon,

Getting into everything.

And jewelry-making's really
A dangerous business, luke.

You got all those tiny beads --
Choking hazards galore.

Yeah, babies really like
To put stuff in their mouth.

They can't help it.
They get mesmerized.

The little suckers look so much
Like candy or pistachio nuts,

You just want to pop them
In your mouth.

Yeah, so as you can see,
We could really use the space.

So you were just gonna sell
The boat out from under me.

Of course not.

We just figured
We'd take an ad,

Get an offer,
See what you say.

Yeah,
Could be great, huh?

You get a little extra cash,
We get a little extra space.

Plus, we were thinking
Maybe you could invest

Some of the profits
From the boat in liz's business.

If you felt like it was
The right thing to do.

But it does
Kind of make sense

Since we went through the
Trouble of selling the boat...

And storing it.

[ doula fusses ]
Whoa. Doula alert.

Not up yet --
Just a squawk.

[ sighs ]

Look, guys, I appreciate
Your situation here,

But I'm not selling the boat.

Dad left it to me. It's my boat.
End of discussion.

Hey, look, don't worry,
All right?

I'll find another place
To store it.

Like where?

I don't know.
I'll find another place.

What's the point
Of hanging on to it?

You're never gonna use it.

I might.
You might. Dad might.

What are you
Talking about?

The boat. Dad spent like
20 years working on the thing.

You spent another 20.
So?

How many generations are gonna
Cart this thing around town?

Look, get rid of it
For your own sake,

Before you end up
Like dad.

What does that mean?

Oh, okay.
Okay, forget it.

No, I want to know.
What does that mean?

He was stuck, luke.
He was happy.

He was stuck doing
The same thing at the same time

The same way
Every day of his life.

So? He did the things
That made him happy.

Dad didn't do stuff
'cause it made him happy.

He did stuff because he was
Afraid to do anything else.

Come on, that's crap.

Luke, I loved dad
As much as you did.

Look, he was good to us.
Of course he was.

I'm just saying

Sometimes a little change
Can be a good thing.

My boat, my decision.
I'm not selling it.

All right?
Okay.

All right.
Okay.

I'll have it out of here
By tomorrow.

[ sighs ]

[ cell phone rings ]

Hello?

How bald do you have to be
To be bald?

Is this a zen call?
You know I hate those.

Does it mean completely bald,
Or does it count

If there's no hair on top
But a little on the sides?

Well, in my experience,

If a man describes himself
As bald, there is nary a hair.

Nice use of "Nary."

I'm trying to get you
In the new york times mood,

Use some fancy language.

Well, I will remember that
If I can ever find the guy.

Who knew new york was the
Bald-guy capital of the world?

I think that's on
Their license plate.

I'm telling you,
They're everywhere,

And since I don't know
Which one a.J. Is,

Every time one walks in
The door, I just smile at him.

And let me guess --
They're all smiling back.

What's wrong with me?

What kind of reporter
Am I going to be

If all I got
Was "Bald guy"?

Oh, relax. He knows
What you look like, right?

I just hate this waiting.
What should I do?

Should I go order a coffee
Without him?

Order coffee.
He won't mind.

Well, I can't, really.

I don't even know if I should be
Sitting down already,

But it was really crowded,

And this woman left her table,
So I grabbed it,

And now I'm scared to get up
Because maybe I'll lose it.

Keep the table,
Skip the coffee.
Really?

And when he gets there,
Go decaf.

Yeah, I know
I'm a little nervous,

But it's only because
This meeting could mean

The difference between
Interviewing world leaders

And standing
On street corners

With pictures of celebrities
In matching outfits

Asking passersby
Who wore it best.

Pretty high stakes.

I know. Distract me.
How's the shower stuff going?

Um...

Oh, something's wrong!

No, nothing's wrong.

Oh, I knew it. My second
Pancake's gonna suck, too.

I've got it all under control.
Focus on finding the bald guy.

Oh, another one
Just walked in.

Oh,
Head-to-hair ratio?

Very low. Stand by while
I attempt to make eye contact.

Look at it this way --
You're making a lot of bald men

Feel very good
About themselves today.

I better go.

Knock 'em dead, kid.

Oh, god.

So, you're giving me a guarantee
For christmas and easter.

As a minimum.

And there will be a possibility
Of bible study

And no unclean meats
For at least a year.

That's a start, at least.

So, do we have a deal?

No, I never take
First offer.

This is what I want --

Attendance
At weekly church services,

Bible study twice a week,
Adventist summer camp,

No unclean meats
Or hydrogenated oils,

Christmas will be celebrated
With no gifts,

And there will be no sandboxes
Or parties with pony rides.

What's wrong
With ponies?

Flies buzzing around,
Carrying infectious diseases.

No infected ponies, fine.
But sandboxes? I mean, come on.

Kids play, they go to the park.
You have to be reasonable.

It is not reasonable
For lane to think

That she will raise
My grandchildren as heathens

While I stand by
And do nothing.

I understand, mrs. Kim.
It's a really sensitive subject.

No, you don't.

Your daughter doesn't reject
Everything you stand for.

But lane is not rejecting you.
You guys are just different.

God knows my mother and I
Had differences.

Yes. God does know.

Look...There are times

When you have to put
Those differences aside.

Like, you know joseph,
From the bible,

And how his brothers got all mad
At him about that dreamcoat.

Yes, and so they sold him
Into slavery.

Yeah. I don't think
That was in the musical.

There are fights you can recover
From and fights you can't,

And not going to
Your daughter's baby shower --

I mean, I know it's hard,

But I don't want you
To draw a line in the sand now

That you can't cross
Later.

My mother missed so much.

I don't want that
To happen to you.

[ dialing ]

[ ringing ]

April: hello?

Hey.

Hey, dad.

How was swim practice?

Drills, drills, drills.

Coach scott made us swim
With our fists closed.

What does that do?

Probably nothing --
Just looks funny.

I did get to work
On my backward racing start.

How'd that go?

Not so good.

I think I ended up
With half the pool up my nose.

Eh, you'll get better.

Can't get much worse.

So, how's your mom doing?

Good. Little stressed
About the new store.

She likes the space, but she's
Not sure about the location.

Strip malls bum her out.

So what's going on?

Nothing.
You know, business as usual.

I saw
Your cousin doula today.

She looks good.
She's getting bigger.

You promised
You'd send me new pictures.

I will. I will.

So, look, I was thinking
About this summer

When you come to visit.

I can't wait.

Yeah, me too.

So, I was thinking
Maybe we should take a trip.

A trip?

Yeah, a big one,
You know?

You're gonna be here
For six weeks, right?

So maybe
We should just take off.

And go where?

You know, I don't know.
I was thinking florida.

Florida?

Yeah, you know,
Go down to disneyworld.

You want to go
To disneyworld?

Yeah. You've never been there.
I've never been there.

We could fly down to florida
And check out miami beach

And then go to...
Disneyworld.

I-I can't imagine you
At disneyworld --

Or at the beach,
For that matter.

W-why not?

I don't know --
Riding roller coasters,

Getting your picture taken
With mickey mouse.

I'm just having trouble
Picturing it.

Yeah, well...

Look, dad, you don't
Have to do this. It's okay.

I'm looking forward
To the summer and all,

But it's not like
I'm expecting anything.

Oh, no, sure.

I mean, I'm fine
Just hanging out at the diner

Like we always do --

Wipe down tables,
Refill salt and pepper shakers.

It's our thing.
Really, honestly, it's fine.

Uh...Oh, okay.

Oh, mom wants to talk to you
Real quick

About some travel stuff
For my spring break.

Don't hang up, 'cause I want
To read you something I wrote.

Oh, yeah?

We had to write
A five-page fictional story

Featuring someone we know
As the hero, and I chose kirk.

It's hilarious.

I'll give you to mom,
And I'll get the story.

Okay, great.

[ doorbell rings ]

Hi.

Can we come in?

Sure. Whatever.

Isn't that nice?

So great.

Okay.

Here we go.

So...

So.

So, what?

Your mother has something
She'd like to say to you.

You say it.

Me?
Um...You'll jump in?

Okay.

Uh, lane, um...
Your mother realizes

That the two of you
Have differences.

She might not always agree
With all of your decisions.

No "Might."
She doesn't agree.

I know. You've made yourself
Perfectly clear.

Lane.

Sorry. Go on.

She doesn't agree
With all your decisions.

However, she knows how much
You love and respect her.

Don't you, lane?

Of course I do.

And she'd very much like
To come to your shower.

Really?

Really.

Thank you, mom.

Oh!

Lane?
You okay?

I think so.

What's wrong?
Are you going into labor?

I don't know.
I've never been in labor before.

You might have had
A contraction.

We'll wait and see
If you have another.

There will be no waiting.

You will drive us
To the hospital right now.

Hurry, lorelai.
Careful, lane.

Wait. I'll get it.

Uh, well, okay.

You got it.

All right.

Here we go.

I can't believe I'm on bed rest.
This sucks.

Oh, come on,
Haven't you ever had

One of those lazy sundays
Where you stay in bed all day?

Just think of this
As one long lazy sunday.

Plus you get to eat
All your meals on trays.

And I'm gonna hang out with you,
Just like john and yoko.

This is your fault.

Mine?
See what I deal with?

We shouldn't have gone
To the hospital.

Better I watch my daughter
Writhe in pain?

I wasn't writhing. Lorelai,
Tell her I wasn't writhing.

Does it really matter
Who was or wasn't writhing?

Your mom was worried
About you.

Yeah, right.
She's probably happy.

Why would I be happy?
Now I can't have my party.

Lane van gerbig,
What is wrong with you?

Parties are not the most
Important thing in life.

I know.

Do you?

Of course. It's just that
This one is my last.

Why is it your last?

I'm about to be a mother.

Um, mothers
Can have parties.

Not for themselves.

They only do things
For their children.

She did everything
For me.

And...I'm...
Gonna be the same way.

You will have the party.

How?

Uh...Lorelai will
Figure something out.

Cool!

Hello. I'm home.

Logan:
Hey. How'd it go?

Awesome.

Logan!
You're not dressed!

It's 2:30. You were supposed to
Be dressed and ready.

I'm dressed.

But not for lane's shower.
Come on, get up. Let's go.

Wait, wait. Sit down.
Tell me how it went.

I'll tell you on the way.
Come on.

Wait. Sit down.
I have to tell you something.

Well, that doesn't
Sound so good.

It's not.

Look, I screwed up, okay?
Big-time.

What's going on?

The company I bought, the new
Business I was trying to start?

It's a bust.
What?

We're going belly-up
Because of me.

I lost everybody's money --
My money, my dad's money,

All our investors' money, the
Parking-lot attendant's money,

The hot-dog vendor's money.

I lost money
I didn't even know I had.

Logan, be serious.

I am.

Well...If you are,
Then back up a step.

Explain this to me.

There's nothing to explain.

The second
We bought this company,

All these lawsuits
Came out of the woodwork.

One of them has merit,
Which means we're screwed --

No money, no jobs,
No nothing.

Um...
I don't understand.

How long have you known
About this?

Weeks.

Weeks?

Why didn't you say
Something about it to me?

I don't know. I thought maybe
I could fix it, you know?

I was looking
For loopholes.

Well, you can keep looking.
You'll find one.

No, we can't.
Look, it's over.

Philip and I got the final call
From our patent lawyers.

Their case is solid.

There's nothing we can do
But settle.

I screwed up, okay?
I rushed in.

I didn't do my research.
It's all my fault.

Well, I'm sure that's not true.
I'm sure there's something --

Rory, you're not getting this.
This is huge.

This isn't
Something you can fix

With a plucky, good attitude
And a can-do spirit.

Well, I'm just trying
To help.

I know.

Well, what about your dad?
What's he say about all this?

I haven't talked to him.

Logan, you're gonna
Have to talk to him.

Rory, don't give me
Any grief about this.

Any minute now, mitchum is gonna
Be busting through that door

Chomping at the bit to tell me
What a gigantic failure I am.

God, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry about all this.

I know you are.

Well, you'll get through it.
We'll get through it.

I mean, whatever happens,
We'll figure it out together.

Sure. And I'm sorry
About today.

I just can't deal
With a baby shower.

No, I know. I get it.

The minute it's over,

I will come back,
And I'll bring cake.

You don't have to hurry.
I want to.

No, don't worry about it.
I'm not gonna be here.

You're going out?

I'm gonna go to vegas
With colin and finn.

What?

I just need to blow off steam
For a couple days.

With colin and finn.
It's perfect timing.

Colin's got his dad's jet
All gassed up at teterboro.

I'm gonna meet him
In an hour.

To go to vegas
With colin and finn.

Yeah. Finn bought a racehorse
With george maloof.

How hilarious is that?
I'm gonna go take a shower.

Are you kidding me? This is
Really what you want to do?

I just need a break,
Okay?

Tell lane I said congrats.

[ bells jingle ]

Word on the street is
You want to sell your boat.

I called you, kirk.

Yeah, but I was on the street
When I got that call.

And to be honest with you,
I was a little surprised

To hear about
This turn of events.

It's not a turn of events, kirk.
I just want to sell my boat.

But you've always been
Really attached to this boat.

Hell, I thought you'd take it
To your grave with you,

Maybe row yourself
Across the river styx.

Turns out I'm not using it.
You interested?

It does suit me. And it'd be
Great for water-skiing.

Lulu loves water-skiing.
She also loves carriage rides.

You're not selling a carriage,
Are you?

Just the boat, kirk.
You interested or not?

How much we talking?
$600.

I was thinking
More around $300.

Price isn't negotiable.
Okay, $400.

Non-negotiable -- $600 price
Includes everything, kirk,

Even the trailer.

$590.
$600, kirk.

$595, and you throw in a life
Preserver and a captain's hat.

$600, you buy
Your own captain's hat.

But you'll throw in
A life preserver?

Deal. Just have it
Out of here a.S.A.P.

Sucker.

Oh, plates and cups
Right by the food.

Art supplies over
At the onesies table. Thanks.

Hey, sookie, I forget --
Are these edible or soap?

Soap.

Oh, this is a party favor --
Not near the candy pacifiers.

Sugar, what do you think?
Is it straight?

It looks great.
Patty, how are you doing?

Adorable.

There is nothing cuter
Than a baby in a onesie --

Except, of course,
Anthony quinn in a onesie.

I'll take your word
For it.

Mom!
Hey! How'd it go?

Why did the baby shower
Get moved to miss patty's?

Oh, it's a long story.
Now tell me about the meeting.

It was great.
It was so great.

But what's going on here?

"Great's" not gonna do it.
I need big, juicy details.

All right,
Lane had contractions.

She went to the hospital,
But it was a false alarm.

She's okay.
She is on bed rest.

What?
I know.

But now, tell me,
From the moment

That the right bald guy
Smiled at you --

And walk.

How are your shoes?

Good arch support?
Good traction? Good.

Slow down.
Hold it! Hold it.

Too fast.

Mom, I'm fine.
Hey, this is fun.

Don't they push a bed
Through the streets

In the opening credits
Of "The monkees"?

I'm pretty sure
It was a bathtub.

Both -- davy's in the bed.
Peter's in the bathtub.

Are you sure?
'cause I could have sworn --

Zach, you don't want to go
Head-to-head with her

About "Monkees" trivia.

You did not come to a full stop!
And use your blinkers!

Okay, we're turning around.
Okay, hold on, lane!

Hold on. Are you ready?
Here we go.

Hold tight.
You all right?

Yep. I'm good.

[ carla thomas' "B-a-b-y"
Plays ]

* baby

* oh, baby

* I love to call you baby

* baby

* oh, my baby

* I love for you
To call me baby *

Looking good.
You done there, patty?

I'm done.
How you doing, hon?

Oh, doing great.

Yeah? I mean about
The whole christopher thing.

Oh, um...Fine,

You know, moving forward,
Moving on.

Good.

If you ask me,
Gil's the one to beat.

Oh, yeah, I saw him do
That whole thing freehand.

He's an amazing man.

As is kirk.

Don't worry, lulu.
It's the rock-star thing.

Dean martin singing
"Mambo italiano" --

I will never forget it.

Oh, great.
I need another one.

Oh, no, no.
What are you doing?

Well, I was trying to make
A little truck,

But the flatbed kept
Running around to the back.

Well, no do-overs, so just
Turn that into something else.

I tried to make snoopy --
Figured he's easy to draw,

And what kid
Doesn't like snoopy, right?

Plus, as the added bonus,
He's black-and-white,

And the onesie's already white,
So I only got to add the black.

But it's looking more like
A chocolate-chip cookie --

Which is okay, 'cause what kid
Doesn't like a cookie?

What am I supposed to
Turn this into?

I don't know -- a blob?

Make it a bunch of blobs --
A baby's first rorschach test.

Patty: oh, yeah. I see a
Ballerina about to take flight.

I see cheese.

See?
Something for everyone.

All right, have fun.

Whoa!
This one's homely, man.

It's got zach's giant ears
And lane's glasses.

I feel for that kid.
Gonna have a rough life.

But it will probably help
To fuel his music.

You know,
You got to feel pain

To create
The really good stuff.

Yeah, this one's
Gonna get the chicks,

But that one's
Gonna be the genius.

These aren't what lane and
Zach's kids are gonna look like.

It's one of those
Computer morphing programs.

Yeah, dude. I have kids.
I know how it works.

Thanks for coming.

Yo, hello.
What's up, guys?

Hi, everyone.

I don't want
To interrupt the fun.

I just wanted to say
Thank you for coming

To this somewhat unconventional
Baby shower,

Which is actually perfect,
Because when do lane and zach

Ever do anything
That's conventional?

[ cheers and applause ]

I've known lane now for --
What has it been? 17 years?

And...I'm just sick of her
Already.

[ laughter ]

No, actually, I just love
You and zach so much,

And I just can't wait
To meet those boys.

So thank you so much for coming.
Keep having fun.

And just eat, drink, and keep
Decorating those onesies.

[ cheers and applause ]

Thanks, rory.
This party rocks.

It's all due to my mom, though.
I planned, she executed.

Well, you both rock.

Well, how often does a girl's
Best friend have twins?

Just once, let's hope.

Yeah, no kidding.
You want a drink, babe?

Maybe a lemonade.
Coming right up.

Seriously, zach's right.
This party is amazing.

Everything you guys did --

Truthfully, I didn't think
It was actually gonna happen.

Well, that whole bed-rest thing
Really threw a wrench in.

Plus the fight.
What fight?

You didn't hear about the fight?
Classic kim family grudgefest?

If not for your mom,
We might have gone the way

Of pretty girls
Make graves.

They were so young and had so
Many killer albums left in them.

So my mom brokered peace?

Hard-core.

Listen...
Here's the thing.

Um...My kids
Are gonna need that, too --

You know, when they're
Hiding bibles

And they can't stand me.

So what I wanted
To know is...

Would you be
Their lorelai gilmore?

I guess
That's the proper term.

Really?

I can't think of anyone
Who would be better.

Plus, you already have
The name.

I'd love to.

Yeah. Thanks.

Here.

Hi, mrs. Kim.
What's this?

Open it.

It's a doorknob.

Not just any doorknob --
John adams' doorknob.

You are familiar with
Our second president, I assume?

Not personally.

You're making a joke?
Little one.

Anyway, I'm glad to be here,
And I wanted you to know that.

Hence the doorknob.
Thank you.

Don't tarnish it,
Or its value will decrease.

Okay.

Do you have my pictures?

I-I-I left them at home.
I'll drop them off tomorrow.

You do that.

Hey, you guys.

Hey, you. Way to go.
It's a great party.

It is, right? I could have used
Another gift table, though.

Yeah,
Somebody went crazy.

I wouldn't say "Crazy."

Wait --
That's all from us?

Well, I felt bad.

I had already promised them
All of our old stuff

From martha and davey,
And then I had to renege.

So they get all new stuff,

And we have to keep
All the crappy hand-me-downs?

How does that
Make any sense?!

Whose fault is this, huh?

Nice talking to you.
See you later.

Ahoy, lorelai.

Yeah, kirk.
What's with the hat?

Oh, this? No big deal.
Just bought myself a boat.

A boat?
Yeah, the s.S. Lurk.

It's a combination
Of my name and luke's

Since it used to be
His boat.

Oh, you bought
Luke's boat.

Yeah, she needs a little more
Work before she's seaworthy,

But as soon as she is,
I'll take you out.

You can be ginger
To lulu's mary ann.

Let's lock down dates now.
When are you free?

Mom.

Oh, well,
We'll figure it out later. Bye.

Perfect timing.

You save me from a three-hour
Tour of the s.S. Lurk.

The what?

Kirk bought
Luke's old boat.

Does he even have
A driver's license?
I don't think so.

Well, I'm staying
Out of the water.
Good kid.

Why didn't you tell me about
The whole drama with mrs. Kim?

You had your meeting.
You were nervous enough already.

Yeah, I was, wasn't I?

You got the whole brunt
Of that freak-out.

That's okay.
Do you think it went well?

I think
It went really well.

I mean, the reston fellowship
Is a long shot.

They only pick four people
Out of the whole country,

And that's including college
Seniors and graduate students.

So?
You and three other people.

Yeah,
But can you imagine it?

I would be an intern
At the new york times.

I can imagine it.

I don't want
To get my hopes up,

So I'm not even
Gonna think about it.

Canthink about it?
Yes, but not around me.

So, when is
Logan getting here?

Oh. He's not.

Why?

Um...It's a long story.

I guess there was
This huge disaster at his work.

Oh, no.

I guess the company he bought
Is being sued,

And he's losing
All kinds of money --

Not only his own money,
His dad's money.

It's awful,
And he feels awful.

At least that explains
Why he's acting awful.

What do you mean?

Well, right now,
He's on a private jet to vegas

With colin and finn.

"Got kicked out of argentina
With the bush twins"

Colin and finn?

So sorry. You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I just wish that he'd told me
About this earlier,

That I'd known
It was going on.

Maybe I could have helped.

I don't think there's anything
You could have done.

Yeah, I know, but maybe
I could have tried, you know?

And now he just took off,
Which -- I get it.

He needs to blow off
Some steam,

But I just wish he could have
Come to the party.

It would have meant so much.
He could have met everyone.

But I'm sure
We'll figure it out.

Oh, hey, lane asked me

To be her lorelai gilmore
To her kids,

Like you were to her.

Aww!

Yeah.
Big shoes to fill.

Well, luckily,
We have similar feet.

Aww.

What?

Oh, it's nothing.

Come on.

I just think my first pancake
Turned out pretty darn good.

Hey.
Sorry to interrupt.

That's all right.

I was wondering if we should
Bring the cake out now,

Because lane's got that
Low-blood-sugar look in her eye.

Oh, yeah, let's do it.

Seems like yesterday

She was taking up three tables
At the diner

With those giant books
Of hers.

Yep.
She was something.

Is something.

So, uh, what's this I hear
About kirk buying your boat?

Oh, well...
I just realized

I was never gonna
Take that thing out.

I mean, all that time I spent
Trying to fix it up...

So I bought a new one.

When?

Today -- got the idea in my head
A couple hours ago,

Went down to the shipyard
In bridgeport, and just did it.

You just bought a boat.

Yeah, and it's even bigger
And better than the old one.

It's got everything.

It's got a kitchen, a bathroom,
Even a place to sleep.

Wow.

I'm gonna keep it
In the marina.

And then when april comes
To visit in the summer,

Take it out on little trips,
Go away for a few weeks.

Luke, that sounds
Really nice.

Right?

God, I can't believe
You bought a boat in a day.

It used to take you a week
To buy a t-shirt.

Yeah, well, things change.

I'll see you inside?

Mm-hmm.

Rory: all right, everyone,
Here comes cake!

Zach: ready, fellas.
One, two, three, four...

* hush, little baby,
Don't say a word *

* papa's gonna buy you
A mockingbird *

* and if that mockingbird
Don't sing *

* papa's gonna buy you
A diamond ring *

* and if that diamond ring
Turns brass *

* papa's gonna buy you
A looking glass *

* and if that looking glass
Gets broke *

* papa's gonna buy you
A billy goat *

* and if that billy goat
Won't pull *