All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S07E03 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Hey, punch me
In the stomach.

What?
Real quick -- jab, jab.
Not too hard.

Just enough to cause
Internal bleeding.

That sounds pretty hard.

Plus, internal bleeding
Is internal,

Which means
It can't be proven.

And unless
My mother sees blood,

There's no way she's gonna
Let you take me to the hospital.

You're gonna have to
Punch me in the face.

I am not going to punch you
In the face.

Why? I'll heal.

I'd rather spend the night
In the emergency room

Getting 8 to 10 stitches
Than go in there for dinner.

Plus, it'll give me
A groovy scar.

I've always wanted
A groovy scar.

Mom.
It'd be such a great
Conversation piece.

"Where did you get
That groovy scar?"

"Oh, my daughter dropkicked me
For no apparent reason."

Oh, so now
I'm dropkicking you?

You didn't like
The whole jab, jab thing.

We haven't had dinner with them
In three weeks.

Suck it up.
We're going in.

You didn't make it
Through the last dinner,

Which means
You've had four weeks,

Which means you owe me one.

I stayed for cocktail hour.
That's the best part.

I can't help
That it's at the beginning.

Okay, fine,
Then you stay through dessert,

And I'll leave early
To go spend time with logan.

Oh, I miss logan.
Yeah, me too.

Let's talk about him
For four or five hours.

We're going inside.
No! Gonna be horrible.

They're always horrible.

No, it's gonna be horribler

Because of the whole
Luke thing.

Doesn't your mom already know
Because of the house debacle?

She suspects,
But she doesn't know know.

I'm gonna have to tell them.

Well, just tell them real quick,
Like ripping a band-aid off.

Ripping a band-aid off
That's been superglued, stapled,

And surgically embedded
In my arm.

Just tell them,
And then we can talk

About more pleasant things,
Like the middle east.

I don't know how
They're gonna come at me.

I know they're gonna come at me,
But I don't know how.

It could be guilt,
Pity, anger, contempt.

They have so many options.

In all likelihood,
It will be a combination.

I don't want the whole night
To be about luke.

It won't be.
Don't worry.

Just put it out there,
And then when they attack you,

Whatever angle they're
Coming from, I will deflect.

How will you deflect?
I don't know.

Maybe I will talk
About bangalore.

You know a lot
About bangalore?

Don't you?
Bangalore? Outsourcing?

When you call
Customer service,

You're talking
To some dude in india

Who speaks perfect english.

Don't you read
Time magazine?

It doesn't seem like
A rich subject area.

Yeah.
No! Uhh!

You tell them
You're converting to judaism,

And that will throw
The friday-night-dinner thing

In jeopardy.

There you go.

Hello.

Hi.
Hello.

Come in.
May I take your coats?

Well, okay.
Here you go.

[ chuckles ]

That's a pretty dress.

Thank you.

Oh.
You okay there?

I'm fine.

Right this way.

Weird.
So weird.

It's a child, right?
Pretty sure.

Maybe mom has run out of adults
Who will work for her.

Hi, mom. Hi, dad.

Good evening, rory.
Lorelai.

Hi, grandma.
Hi, grandpa.

Well done,
Charlotte.

C.C. Guest couldn't have
Done it better herself.

Thank you,
Mrs. Gilmore.

Lorelai, rory,

Allow me to introduce
Charlotte courtwright.

Charlotte,
This is lorelai gilmore

And rory gilmore,
My granddaughter and her mother.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Oh, a pleasure.

Charlotte's grandparents,
Arthur and beverly,

Are dear friends of ours.

In fact,
It was the courtwrights

Who put us up for membership
At blackledge.

Isn't that right,
Richard?

Indeed it is,
Although I have a feeling

Arthur did that
Just so he could humiliate me

On the links every sunday.

Hell of a golfer,
Your grandfather.

Yes, he used to be scratch,
But now he's a 3.

"Charlotte's web"
Is one of my favorite books.

Spiders talking to pigs.
What could be better?

Can I offer anyone
A cocktail?

Uh...Okay. Sure.
Is that legal?

She'll have a martini
With a twist.

Scotch on the rocks
For richard.

"G" and "T" for me.
Rory?

Just a club soda, please.

Would you like that straight up
Or on the rocks?

Straight up. Thanks.

You're never too young
To learn to make a martini.

Who is that?

I told you.

It's the courtwrights'
Granddaughter, charlotte.

Why is she taking our coats
And pouring us drinks?

Did you win her
In a poker game?

Your mother
Has been dragooned

By her colleagues
At the d.A.R.

To lend her expertise
To this year's summer cotillion.

It's been quite
A responsibility.

Eliza appleton insisted
That there was no one she knew

Who was better suited

To preparing these girls
For society living.

I could hardly say no.

Here we are.

Oh.
Thank you, charlotte.

Martini straight up.

Oh. Thanks.

Thank you.

So, nothing for you?
You driving tonight?

Oh, lorelai, I'm only 10.

Charlotte missed last week's
Session on table manners,

So we've decided
To make tonight's dinner

A makeup class.

I'm awfully sorry
About that, mrs. Gilmore.

My grandparents took me

To a count basie tribute
At tanglewood.

Charlotte, the ice cubes
In my glass have already melted.

There's a whole ice bucket
Up there.

There's no need
To be so stingy.

I'm sorry.

For future reference.
It's obviously too late now.

This is your chance.
Get out while you still can.

I can show you
All the good escape routes.

Mrs. Gilmore warned me
You'd be full of smart remarks.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

Now, tonight we'll be dining
With service à la russe,

Which has nothing to do
With russians -- thank god --

Because in my experience,

Their table manners
Are nothing to emulate.

All it means
Is that the servers

Will be passing each course
In turn

Instead of plopping all the food
On the table at once,

Like some mukluk picnic.

Now, it is the duty
Of the gentleman

To help a lady to her seat.

It is my pleasure.

We can seat ourselves.

Yeah, seating us is more
Of a privilege, not a duty.

Now, immediately
Upon sitting,

One should place one's napkin
In one's lap.

And, mind you,
No need for a flourish.

The ability to use a napkin
Is nothing to brag about.

The table looks beautiful,
Grandma.

Why, thank you, rory.

What's with all the forks?

Every piece of silverware
Has a purpose.

You work from the outermost
Utensil in towards your plate.

Can you name each
Of these forks?

Each one of these forks
Is gonna take 20 minutes.

And then the fish fork,
And then the entrée fork,

And then --
Is this the dessert?

Oh, wait -- it's
For the roast course, isn't it?

Exactly.
Very good, charlotte.

You're gonna wow them
At your cotillion.

Did you ever
Attend a cotillion?

No, I haven't, actually,
But I had a coming-out party.

And I supported
Her decision.

She shouldn't have to hide
Her love for women.

Lorelai, there's nothing funny
About being a lesbian.

I'm sure you'll have fun
At your cotillion.

I'm very much
Looking forward to it.

Oh, don't get too excited.
Cotillions are not fun parties.

They're boring rituals

To train a whole new generation
Of snobs.

And how exactly
Would you know?

Lorelai never actually
Attended a cotillion.

You don't have to jump off
The empire state building
To know it's gonna hurt.

Um, this looks delicious,
Mrs. Gilmore.

It's just a simple
Potage au cresson.

I thought you were gonna
Rip off the band-aid.

The kid threw me off.
I'm looking for an opening.

...To ladle the broth
Away from our bodies.

Rory, how has the summer
Been treating you so far?

It's treating me very well
So far, thank you.

Are you relaxing in preparation
For your senior year?

Well, I've been doing
Some part-time work.

Paris opened this business,
A tutoring business,

And it prepares people
For the s.A.T.S.

It's kind of like
The princeton review but meaner.

Sounds very enterprising.

And what about
Your social calendar?

Do you have anything
Exciting planned?

Not really.
Logan's in london, so...

Logan is rory's boyfriend.
He's a huntzberger.

Ah.

How is logan
Enjoying london?

I think he likes it.

He's working a lot and meeting
Different department heads,

Getting situated, learning
To talk british, you know.

Lorelai, how's summer with you?
Anything new?

Um...We planted
Some pansies

At the dragonfly,
In the back there.

They look good.

And, um, I finally
Bought a new dvd player.

And...

Luke and I broke up.

Did you? That's too bad.

Hmm.

Now, charlotte,
When the conversation lags,

A good guest
Ought to be prepared

To introduce a new topic.

Keep it light --
No politics, no religion.

My little trick?

Think of things
In the middle three sections

Of the sunday
New york times --

Travel, arts & leisure,
Sunday styles --

And forget the rest
Of the paper exists.

Look, it's all right.

What is?

We can talk
About the breakup.

I'm sure you have thoughts
On the subject,

And why don't we get it
All out in the open now

So we can move on
With our lives?

I've moved on.

Richard,
Anything you'd like to add?

I can't think of a thing.

All right, then.

Isn't it interesting
How they're renovating

So many of the old paradores
In spain?

Funny you should mention that
Because last week at the club,

Chick walsh told me
That he and mary

Stayed at this extraordinary
Old castle near madrid.

Where was it?
Um, uh, lerma.

Lerma? How nice.

Excuse me.
Uh, what's going on?

Why are we talking
About lerma?

It's a town in spain.

Yes, I understand geography,

But why are you avoiding
The subject of my breakup?

Honestly, lorelai,
I see no point

In continuing
This conversation.

We couldn't say anything right,
So why say anything at all?

That's not true.

It absolutely is.

You could say something.
You could try.

You could say,
"I'm sorry, lorelai.

This must be a very hard time
For you."

Well, I am sorry, lorelai.

I'm sure this is
A very hard time for you.

That's it?
That's all?

I just said
What you said to say.

You don't have anything
Of your own to add?

I'm sure
Whatever luke did --

See?

You blame it on him,

And you don't even
Know the whole story.

I knew we couldn't
Talk about this.

I should have claimed
I had laryngitis.

Lorelai, your mother is
Simply expressing our regrets

That you've ended
Your relationship with luke.

I hardly see
How that's offensive.

Fine.

Only that's not true.
You never liked luke.

You never showed him
Anything but total contempt.

That's not true.
I played golf with luke.

Once.

We were buying the two of you
A house.

Doesn't the fact
That we were willing to spend

An enormous amount of money on
A present count for anything?

So, that's
What you're mad about?

The enormous amount of money
You might have wasted?

That's not what I was saying.

Well, you implied it.

Bangalore! Bangalore!

Bangalore.

Hi.

Morning, ace.
Thanks.

How's your day going?

My day hasn't started yet.
How was your yesterday?

[ yawns ]
I'm still sleepy.

I can let you
Go back to sleep.

No, no, I'm up.

I'm up.

What happened yesterday?

My yesterday
Or your yesterday?

Either one.

I had a scone for breakfast --
Not as dry as monday's,

But I still think there's room
For improvement.

And then I went
Into a meeting

With about 18 different
Department heads,

All of whom I believe
Are named nigel,

And that meeting lasted
For about nine hours.

Was it a cranberry scone?

Blueberry.

Those are my favorite kind.

Your turn.

Well, I'm tutoring
This new kid, benji.

And, oh,
It was really funny

Because he kept
Misusing this word.

I don't remember
What word it was.

Anyway, he kept misusing it,
And I didn't want to correct him

'cause I didn't want him
To feel embarrassed.

But then he messed up
On the work sheet,

And then he realized
All by himself

That he had misused the word.

[ chuckles ]

I guess
It wasn't funny "Ha ha."

It was more funny
"You had to be there."

That's okay.

Are you working?

Just I.M.'ing.

If you have to go --

I have to let my assistant
Know I'm on the phone

So I'll be late
To the meeting.

I don't want
You to be late.

It's no problem.
I don't mind.

Now I feel like
I have to come up

With something great
To talk about.

No pressure.

Ohh.

What?
Nothing.

Now you really do
Have to go.

Well, yeah.

"Philanthropic."

What?

That was the word
That benji kept misusing.

He kept saying
"Philantropic."

He thought it meant "Tropical."
It was funny.

I'll call you tonight.
My tonight or your tonight?

Got to go, ace.

Okay. Bye.

[ inhales, exhales deeply ]

Are you enjoying
Your breakfast?

I don't know
If I like pop-tarts.

Did you fall on your head
While you were sleeping?

I don't know. Do I like this?
Is this something I like?

So, you fell on your head,

And now you have some kind
Of very specific amnesia.

Last night I was dreading mom
And dad's reaction

To the breakup, right?

Right. Dread, dread.
I remember.

Then they didn't react --
Not one bit.

It's almost like the absence
Of their reaction

Was worse than any freak-out
They could have had.

Okay. Sure.

Then I thought, "Why?

Why do I care if they freak out?
What do I get out of it?"

And then I thought,
"Maybe their freak-outs

"Are like some kind
Of compass for me,

"Like, I know I'm doing
What I want to do

If it freaks them out."

And then I thought,
"What if I don't want to do

"What I want to do
Because I want to do it,

But because
They don't want me to?"

Huh?

What if I don't like what I like
Because I like it,

But because my mother
Doesn't like it

And doesn't want me
To like it?

What if I don't actually
Like the music that I like

Or the movies or the clothes
Or the men?

What if I don't like
What I seem to like?

Ah, hence the pop-tart.
Yes. Hence.

I can remember the first time
I had a pop-tart.

It was at my friend
Erica catcha's house,

And she said,
"Do you want a pop-tart?"

And I knew
My mother would recoil

At the very idea
Of me having a pop-tart.

I could just picture her.
"A pop-tart?!"

And so, I had one.

And I opened
The little silver wrapper,

And I took a bite,

And I thought nothing
Had ever tasted so good.

I thought
It tasted like freedom.

It tasted
Like I was my own person.

The pop-tart
Tasted like freedom

And rebellion
And independence.

Wow. That's some pop-tart.
What flavor was that?

But now I think I don't know
If I like pop-tarts.

What if
I don't like pop-tarts?

Would I like pop-tarts

If richard and emily
Had served me pop-tarts

On a silver platter
And demanded I eat every bite?

Hey, where are
All the pop-tarts?

I've been experimenting.

You ate all the pop-tarts?

I don't know if I like them!

Well, I hope you didn't eat
All the froot loops.

Hey, how was
Last night's conversation?

Eh.

Eh-eh?

It's just these transatlantic
Phone calls.

I don't know if it's the "Trans"
Or the "Atlantic"

Or the fact that it's 2:00
In the morning,

But helen keller
And stephen hawking

Could have a more connected
Conversation.

Helen keller's dead.

Yeah, well, even dead,
She could do better.

It's just so awkward
And pausy.

And I feel like the more
I try to connect,

The more disconnected
I feel.

And I just feel like
I'm working so hard,

But maybe I shouldn't
Be having to work so hard.

And then
I feel self-conscious,

But I shouldn't
Feel self-conscious,

So then I feel self-conscious
About that.

Maybe it's just the salt
In the ocean.

It corrodes conversations
Or something.

Yeah.
It sounds like the salt.

Hey!

I like pop-tarts.

Here you go, ladies.

It's the ceilings.
They're vaulted now.

The ceilings
Aren't vaulted.

It's the curly fries.

You never used to have curly
Fries here before.

Always had curly fries.

I'm telling you, something's
Different about the place.

Nothing has changed.
It's exactly the same.

He must have done something
To the windows

'cause the light
Is much better now.

It's a lot less gloomy
Than it used to be.

An identical level
Of gloom, people.

I got it.
You got new chairs.

I knew my butt
Felt more comfortable.

Your butt feels
Exactly the same, babette.

Now, would you two can it?
I didn't change a damn thing.

Hey, rory.

Hi, luke.

How's it going?

Good. I'm good.
And you?

Doing good.

Glad to hear that.

Congratulations
On the reopening.

Oh, yeah, thanks.
Back to normal, I guess.

New hat?
Yeah.

So, I didn't think

You were gonna make it back
This summer.

Oh, I wasn't,
But then I did.

Things change.

Yeah.

So, you want a table?

No, I'll just
Take some coffee

And a muffin to go,
If you have it.

I have it.

It's the curtains!

Those curtains
Have always been here.

I know.
You used to have more curtains.

No, I never
Had more curtains.

Hi.

Here you go.

Hey.
So? How did it go?

Was it hard?
Did he freak out?

What are you talking about?

Zach...And the pregnancy.

Oh. That.
I haven't told him yet.

Really?

Yeah, I was, but now
I'm thinking I'm gonna wait.

Okay.
For how long?

I don't know.
A couple years?

I'm gonna tell him
Eventually, just not yet.

Besides, a lot of people
Wait a full 12 weeks

Before they tell anyone
They're pregnant.

Not the husband.

I just need a little more time
To adjust, you know?

I kind of want to process this
By myself a little longer.

You can wait
As long as you want.

You can wait until the baby
Comes out and have her tell him.

Her?
Or him.

Oh, god, I'm not ready
For a him!

Maybe it'll be a her.
Who's ready for a her?!

You are. And zach is.
You guys can do this.

Hey, you want to tell him?

One coffee.
One muffin.

One employee
Sitting at a table.

Sorry, luke.

Thanks, luke.
See you later.
See you later.

New mugs!
Hey! Same mugs.

[ sighs ]

Wow.
Somebody's all fancy-pants.

I've never seen
Your hair up like that.

I'm just trying out
A new look,

Seeing if I like it,
Serving no master but myself.

Are you gonna
Try pigtails, too?

Because that's kind of
My thing.

It's freeing, really.

I never realized how my mother
Influenced my every decision,

Even decisions that don't
Seem like decisions,

Like tying my shoes.

I've always been a fan
Of the bunny ears, you know?

And this morning I decided
Not to bunny-ear,

And you know what happened?

No.

Bunny ears take a lot longer
Than the regular way.

I saved three seconds
This morning.

What does your mother have to do
With bunny ears?

My mother is everywhere --

In my shoes, in my clothes,
In my food.

Your mother is here.
In my inn.

What are you talking about?
Why is my mother here?

She's here to taste the menu
For the tea.

Why doesn't she know
What I'm talking about?

What tea?
I thought you were
Going to tell her.

What tea?
I was going to tell her.

Then I considered
What it would be like

If I did not tell her,

And I thought
It might be more fun.

I was right.

What tea?

Do you normally keep
Your guests waiting?

It's very rude.
Hello, sookie.

Hi, mrs. Gilmore.
Welcome.

What tea?

There's no need
To shout, lorelai.

I'm bringing the girls here
Friday for afternoon tea

As part of their etiquette
Training.

Why are you
Bringing them here?

I was going to take them
Into the city

For high tea
At the pierre.

But the maître d' at the pierre
Apparently believes

That proper high tea
Includes

Club sandwiches
And a juice bar,

And I couldn't subject
These impressionable young girls

To such tasteless
Effrontery.

Do they even have tea
At a cotillion?

Don't be absurd.

As long as I have them
Under my wing,

I feel that it is my duty

To offer them as much
Of my expertise as possible.

Last week we went
To the symphony

And the hopper exhibit
At the met.

This week it's high tea and
"Rigoletto" at lincoln center.

Have you done that thing

Where they walk around
With books on their heads?

Sookie,
These are simply divine.

It's the lemon zest.
It makes all the difference.

Although, we shouldn't
Serve the spinach quiche.

Some of the girls
Have braces,

And their mothers
Would never forgive me

If they spent the evening
With hideous green smiles.

Perhaps a more traditional
Cream cheese and cucumber

Would be more appropriate?

Yum. Cucumber.

Is that peanut butter
And jelly?
Yes.

I just thought
Since the girls were only 10

That they'd enjoy it more than
The smoked-salmon sandwiches.

They're 10.
They're not animals.

This is a proper tea,
Sookie.

I'm not interested
In circus food.

Stings, don't it?

I'd like to see the room
We'll be using.

If the lighting
Isn't right,

We may have to make
Some adjustments.

Right this way.

I like your hair
Like that, lorelai.

It's a good sentence,
But you want to make sure

Never to end
With a preposition.

If she ended the sentence
With a preposition,

How could it have been
A good sentence?

Sounds like
A terrible sentence.

You were just coddling her.

You want to prop her up
On your knee

And burp her,
Maybe buy her a pony?

I'm not paying you
To make her feel better

About her incompetence.

If she can't construct
A sentence,

How is she gonna pass the essay
Section of the s.A.T.?

Well --
That was rhetorical!
Carry on.

Why don't you
Go slower, dalton?

'cause you haven't been
On the same page

For the last 20 minutes
Or anything.

Okay,
"Doctor is to hospital as,

"'a,' sports fan is to stadium,
'b,' ice is to freezer,

'c' professor is to college,
Or, 'd,' criminal is to jail?"

Um, "A," sports fan
Is to stadium?

It's actually "C,"
Professor is to college.

When you're doing
This kind of analogy,

You have to be
A little more specific

Than just filling in the blank
With "Is found in."

A doctor works
In a hospital,

Just as a professor
Works in a college.

Make sense?

You're really smart.

That's very sweet, eric.

And you're just as smart.
I promise.

Are you kidding?

That's it!
Pencils down.

That means you, casanova.
Time is up!

Everyone out,

Unless your parents want
To start paying for overtime,

Which might be a good idea.

Not so fast, employees.

Today's work was shoddy
At best.

Between the overt coddling
And the inappropriate flirting,

I feel like I'm running
A bordello.

Gilmore, do you see
Any of my students

Falling in love with me?

No, because you don't
Fall in love with people

That make you
Want to crap your pants.

I want to see terror
In their eyes!

Fear is a great motivator,
People. Use it.

What are you
Standing around here for?

Go! Dismissed.

Okay, I'm not
Your boss anymore.

We can do five minutes
Of friend time.

I appreciate the offer,
But I have to make a phone call.

Logan?
Yep.

How's that going?

It's good, you know?
It's fine.

So, it's awful?
No.

Because you downgraded
From good to fine

In under two seconds,

So I figured
I'd cut to the chase.

Not awful. It's just hard
Because of the distance.

Uh-huh.
How's the sex?

Um, well, seeing as
He's in london and I'm here,

The sex is
Pretty much nonexistent.

You've got a phone.
Use it.

What? You mean...

[ chuckles ]

I can't do that.

I talk to my mother
On that phone.

Okay, what about texting?
No. No, thank you.

Why not? You say stuff when
You're together, don't you?

Yeah. I guess.
Sometimes.

So, text it.
Texting is great.

And you can do it
While you're doing other things.

Doyle and I are doing it
Right now.

What?

Oh, my god!

Don't worry.
This is advanced.

All you're looking to do
Is create some intimacy.

Stick to the basics.

I don't have any basics.

Write what you know.

Thanks, paris.
I'll figure something out.

Doyle thinks
It's a great idea.

Can you not talk about me
On that thing

When you're doing that
With him?

Sorry.

Jeez.

I'm telling you, man,
She's avoiding me.

She won't talk to me.
She'll barely look at me.

It's over.
She's divorcing me.

It's not the best marriage
I've seen,

Although I only have my parents
To compare it to,

And they're
Unusually happy.

We were happy, and then
That stupid honeymoon happened.

And ever since we came home,

It's like
She's a different person.

Maybe it was the parasite.

Maybe the parasite
Got into her brain

And ate away the part
That was in love with you.

I can't believe
It's over.

We haven't even written
Our thank-you notes.

I was gonna say.

I already told you
We like the bowl.

Doesn't mean
I don't deserve a note.

It's all gonna be okay, zach.

I'm here for you, man.
I got your back.

Hey, that's nice.

Yeah, the pain is totally
Helping my music.

We need to talk.

Okay. Let's talk.

Alone?

Anything you have
To say to me,

You can say
In front of brian.

I'm pregnant.

With a baby?

Yes, pregnant with a baby.

But how? When?

On a beach in mexico,
About three weeks ago.

I'm pretty sure
You were there.

But we only did it once.

Once is really all it takes.

Where are you going?

Brian must be freaking out!

Good afternoon, lorelai.

Oh, my goodness.

Is the library ready
For us?

Yes, the tables are set,
And the tea is brewed,

And I've hired
Some extra poor people

For the girls
To look down on.

She's the one I told you
About -- a regular imogene coca.

Oh, my god, I love them.

They are like madame alexander
Dolls come to life.

All right, ladies, chins up,
Tummies in, and glide.

[ light laughter ]

Now, remember, ladies,
The dress you'll be wearing

At the cotillion on saturday
Will have much fuller skirts.

Several of you may be working
With a crinoline,

So sitting will be an entirely
Different experience.

What is the rule of thumb
We can always apply?

Tiffany?

Bottoms out.

That's right.

Bottoms, sit.

Very good.

Such elegance,
Such a sense of decorum,

Manners, grace, charm --

Everything my childhood
Could have been but wasn't.

Oh, to go back
And do it right.

Caroline, we do not grab
Or grope our dinner partners.

Sorry, mrs. Gilmore.

Always maintain proper spacing
And distance.

It's all coming back to me.
Proper spacing and distance.

Other kids were hugged
And kissed.

I was taught to maintain
Proper spacing and distance.

...In which case,
The utensil rule still applies.

No utensil, once used,
May ever touch the table again.

Imagine leaving a ring
Of raspberry preserves

On a set of fine linens.

Granted, these linens
Aren't the best.

But at the cotillion
On saturday,

Everything will be
Of the highest quality.

All right, ladies,
Choose your first sandwich.

Take me.

Oh, michel!

Take me to the cotillion.
I have to be there.

I want to go back
And do it right.
No, forget it.

I insist. You must take me.
You have no choice.

I have no choice?
Do you know me?

I'm not going
To my mother's cotillion.

You owe me.

What? I do not.

Oh, yes, you do.

Last november, when you
Were going out of town

And nervous about boarding
Paul anka for the first time,

You forced me,
Against my better judgment,

To have paul anka
Over to my home for the day

So he could acclimate
To other dogs.

Well, not only did he
Traumatize my poor chows,

But somehow he managed
To get into my closet,

The door of which
Was firmly closed...

I know. I don't know
How he does that.

...And proceeded to poop
In my prada loafers.

Well, he knows
Good quality.

When I returned
Your foul creature

And told you
About what happened,

You apologized profusely
And then wrote an I.O.U.

On several little post-its,
Thinking it was all so clever.

Gosh, I don't remember that.

I thought as much.

...On the seat of your chair.

Do not leave it carelessly
Strewn about the table.

Caroline?

Caroline!

[ light laughter ]

"I"..."O"..."U"...
"One"..."Big"..."Favor."

Can't prove I wrote that.

[ chuckles ]
"Lorelai gilmore."

Ohh!
I'll buy you a car.
No.

A house.
Pick me up at 7:00.

Michel!
And wear your hair
Like you had it the other day.

Good nap, babe?

Yeah, I was really
Out of it.

I'm so tired all the time.
It's weird.

Huh. Must be the heat.

Yeah, right, I guess that could
Have something to do with it.

Beer?
No, I don't think I'll be
Drinking beer for a while.

Oh, that's cool.
Going a little straightedge.

But we probably should be
Drinking more calcium,

So maybe I should keep
An extra gallon of milk

Around the house.

No problemo.

And I may start
Having cravings soon --

You know what I'm craving
Right now? Pizza bagels.

Those are definitely
Going on the grocery list.

Want some of those?
Sure.

Do you like that,
Mountain ninja?

Do you like the taste
Of my broadsword?

Well, I'm off to see rory.

Have fun.

Oh, no.
Whoa!

That's disgusting.
Wow.

No way! No way!

I can't write
This stuff to logan.

I can barely read it to myself.
I'm bright red.

Did you notice
No one ever gives details

When they tell you
About childbirth?

It's because the details
Are gross and scary

And unacceptable.

Like what?

Well, apparently,
In about three months,

I can look forward
To dark spots on my face

Because it's not enough
To just get fat.

It's not fat.
It's a baby.

A baby that will
Shoot out of my body

Despite the fact that
It's obviously much too large.

I didn't think this through
When we were dating.

I was all into the fact
That zach was big and manly,

Which means I'm gonna
Have a big, manly baby,

And I'm a small woman.

I never thought of zach
As big and manly.

Remember when my mom
Wanted me to date henry lee?

He was like yea high.

I would have had tiny,
Little, yea-high babies.

Yeah, but he was
Your second cousin.

I think you would have had other
Problems with those babies.

This baby is just gonna
Have to find another way out

Or stay in there forever.

Just keep taking things
One step at a time.

You're doing great.

How?
How am I doing great?

You told zach. That was
A very significant step.

Yeah, but I'm pretty sure
He forgot.

He forgot?

I don't know
How things get lost

In the recesses
Of zach's brain,

But I think he forgot.

Maybe he's just taking time
To process this.

You needed some time.

I am growing a human being
Inside my body.

I deserve time.
Ugh!

Okay, what about this?

"Where is the chair
You sit in?

"Where is your favorite comb,
Toothbrush, nail file?

Trot them out, that I may
Devour them at one gulp."

You want
To eat his toothbrush?

No, I'm trying to convey
That I miss him very much.

Sounds like you miss
His toiletry kit.

It's supposed to be metaphorical
And evocative.

It's henry miller.

Henry miller
Has better stuff than that.

That is not
Why they banned his books.

Well, I'm not gonna write,

"Our hands groped frantically
For the burning flesh."

Oh, that's better.

That's way hotter
Than the eating-his-comb thing.

Really?
Why are you making
Such a big deal out of this?

I'm just worried, you know?

We talk to each other
On the phone every day,

But I just don't think
That that's enough

To keep
This relationship going.

I guess I never realized

How important
The other stuff was.

The sex stuff?

And the holding-hands

And the falling-asleep-
Next-to-each-other stuff.

That's where
The intimacy comes from,

And without those options,

When they're just
Taken away from you

'cause someone
Moves to london...

[ sighs ]
Desperate measures.

Burn that flesh, sister.

Okay.

Here it goes.

I think I'm gonna puke.

Join me. That's all I'll be
Doing for the next two months.

Oh, and did I mention
The extra hair

That may start to grow
On my chin?

Ooh, wow, quick response.
I think you did good.

It's not him.

Hi, dad.

Hey, kiddo.
What are you up to?

Um, just reading.

Reading the books.
What are you doing?

Just drinking the coffee,

Thinking I haven't seen you
In a while.

I know. I miss you.
Me too.

So, maybe we could have dinner
Tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night?
Only if you're free.

I'm free.
Yeah, that sounds like fun.

Yeah?
Great. That's great.

I'll pick you up about 7:00.

Cool.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Bye, rory.

Maybe I'll look good
With a beard.

[gasps] Whoa!
Can I keep this?

Help me find something
To wear.

Then you can steal
Whatever you want,

Except that --
I'm getting buried in that.

I don't understand
Why you're going.

Does michel have compromising
Photographs of you,

Like some snapshots
From your perm year?

No, but he does
Have post-its.

Don't ever
Put anything in writing,

'cause even when it's
On florescent sticky paper,

It's still binding.

You are so wise
And awesome and generous.

Yeah, you can steal
Anything you want

If you go
To the cotillion for me.

Can't.
Why?
You don't have any work.

You don't have a boyfriend
To play with.

You barely have anyone
To hang out with at all.

You're really making me
Want to do you a favor here.

I can't tonight
Because I have plans with dad.

Your dad?

I'm not in the habit of calling
Other people's dads "Dad."

Yeah, my dad.

He asked me if I wanted
To have dinner with him.

Is that a problem?

No, of course not.

I just didn't realize
You were talking.

I haven't
Talked to him at all,

Which is why
I was happy he called,

Because we were talking
All the time before.

I mean, just because
You guys aren't talking,

It doesn't mean I'm not
Allowed to talk to him.

We are not not talking.

We're just not talking
Right now.

I think it's great

That you're having dinner
With your dad.

Good.
Good.

What is with that thing?

I sent logan a text message
Yesterday,

And he still hasn't
Written me back.

Plus, we missed
Our last two phone calls

'cause he keeps getting
Dragged into meetings.

If he hasn't
Sent you anything back,

He just hasn't had time yet.

Yeah, that's probably it.

Can I wear this
To the cotillion?

Mnh-mnh.

Something wrong
With your dinner, babe?

If your bagel's
A little frozen,

I can microwave
That bad boy for you.

It's not that. I'm just
Feeling a little queasy.

Yeah, I've been
Feeling queasy, too.

I'm telling you,
It's got to be the heat.

Do you want to go
To a movie or something?

Cool down
With some free a.C.?

I have a better idea.
Why don't we talk?

Sure.
What do you want to talk about?

The baby.

I'm cool
With the whole baby thing.

You are?
Yeah.

So, you're not worried
At all?

Nope,
No worries on this end.

I see.

I think brian might be
Freaking out a little bit,

But that's his problem.

Really? I didn't know
Brian was concerned.

Well, sure.

He was just getting used to
The idea of us getting married,

And I don't think
He was expecting a baby yet.

But it's a lot
For the guy to take in.

Absolutely.

Maybe I should
Talk to brian about this

Because it sounds like he and I
Are on the same page.

What do you mean?

Well, I'm glad you're fine,
But I'm kind of freaking out.

You are?

Totally.

This is not how I expected
Our life to go --

Be married for like a day

And having to take on
This new responsibility.

Bringing a child
Into this world, it's so...

It's major, right?

It's very major.

So, you're not all psyched
About being knocked up?

Are you kidding?
This baby sucks!

Yeah!
This baby totally sucks!

It does.

It so does.

Do you know
What afterbirth is?
No.

Dude.

I know.

You know how the baby is
Connected to you by that hose

And I'm supposed
To cut that hose?

No way
I'm cutting that hose.

No way I'm letting you
In the room

When that thing
Comes out of me.

Oh, man, you are so awesome.
I love you so much.

I love you, too.

It's like
You don't even care.

I care about you,
Just not this.

After all the trouble
I went through

Picking out the perfect flower
For you.

It's like wearing a tree
On my arm.

It is an orchid.
It's scratchy.

Could have got me something,
A simple boutonniere.

But no.
I'm so humiliated.

Why don't we go
Back to the flower store,

And I'll get you something?

Forget it.
We're late enough as it is.

[ gasps ]

Yes, I can die now.

Me too.

Look at that girl.
Poor thing.

Oh, why did someone force her
To wear those exercise shoes?

She'd probably rather be home,
In jeans, climbing a tree.

She looks perfectly happy
To me.

You know what I see
When I look at this room?

A bunch of kids whose outfits
Cost more than my car?

No, these are not kids.
They are perfect, tiny adults.

We are standing
Amongst the next generation

Of movers and shakers.

The future president
Of the united states

May be in this room
With us tonight.

You're very odd.

Lorelai, you're here.
I am.

Hello, emily.

Oh, emily, may I just say

That what you have
Created here tonight

Is nothing short
Of perfection?

This -- this is a kind
Of nirvana on earth.

Thank you, michel.
It's very kind of you to say.

I'm sorry.

What on earth
Are those musicians playing?

It sounds lovely.

Are those violinists on speed?
Excuse me.

Hey, I'm gonna get some punch.
You want some?

Oh, no,
Thank you very much.

I'm much too excited
For punch.

My throat closes off
When I'm excited,

So swallowing punch would be
Very difficult right now.

Okay.

Lorelai.

Charlotte, hi.

I'm having
The most wonderful time.

Grandmother, grandfather,
It's my pleasure

To introduce you
To lorelai gilmore.

Lorelai,
These are my grandparents --

Beverly and arthur courtwright.

Ah, the famous lorelai.

Famous? I have to catch up
On my us weeklies.

Charlotte told us
You were a card.

She also told us

That you were
A delightful dining companion,

Like noel coward and slim keith
Rolled into one.

Oh, well,
She's delightful, too,

Like shirley temple
And mother teresa

And someone with very good table
Manners rolled into one.

It's starting.
The dancing is starting.

We should
Get the camera.

Will you
Excuse us?
Yeah.

Lorelai, did I tell you?

Margot, caroline, and I
Are doing a hip-hop dance,

And it's gonna be
So funny.

We rehearsed it
In the bathroom.

The whole thing ends up

With us somersaulting
Towards the band.

Wow!
That's really great.

Are you gonna come dance?

Oh, no.
It's just for the kids.

Oh, come on.
Everybody is dancing.

Pardon me.

Would you like
To dance, charlotte?

I would be delighted, toby.

People seem
To be enjoying themselves.

Yeah.
They really do, don't they?

Want to dance?

Me? No.
Are you serious?

I never joke about dancing.

No, I'll pass.
You cannot pass.

This is still my night,
And I'd like to dance with you.

Besides, charlotte insisted

That I get you out
On the dance floor,

So that it's two against one --
You lose.

Now, let's go.

Oh! Well...

We're really --
Uh-oh, uh-oh.

Oh! Whoa!

I see you're having
A terrible time.

The worst.

So, do you want the rest
Of this key lime pie?

I don't know how you ordered
Key lime pie

When there was
Chocolate brownie.

You'd already ordered
A chocolate brownie.

But just the one.

Maybe we should give it
To paul anka.

After all, the doggie bag
Was invented with him in mind.

Seems only fair
He should benefit.

Yeah, if you can call that
Slimy, green pie a benefit.

I told you.

Lorelai: hey.

Hi, mom.

Hey, we were just
Splitting up the food.

I'm...On my way out.

Oh. Take your time.

Is that key lime pie
On the floor?

Is that a corsage
On your arm?

Oh, this? Yeah.
Subtle, isn't it?

If by "Subtle,"
You mean "Weird and giant,"

Then, yeah, super subtle.

Okay, I think I'm gonna
Take paul anka for his walk.

Thanks for dinner, dad.

Yeah, thanks, kiddo.

Come on.

Go on.

[ chuckles ]

Did you guys have fun?

It was good,
Really good.

First time I ever saw her
Order a drink.

Strange, right?

Very strange.

Anyway, I should be going.

I'm sorry
I didn't call you back.
It's okay.

I was going to.
I just...

I understand.
Don't worry about it.

Do you want some coffee
Or anything?

Sure.

Okay.

Actually, you know what?
I can't.

Oh. Okay.

I can't just sit here
And have coffee with you.

Okay.

I love you.

I know the other night

Didn't mean for you
What it did for me,

But I haven't stopped thinking
About it since it happened --

Not just because it was great,
Which it was...

But because it was right.

It was so right, lore,

And you may not see that
Right now, but I do.

And if I have to wait
Until we're both 80 years old

For you to see it,
Then I'll wait.

I'm not going anywhere.
This is it for me.

You're it for me,

And I can't pretend
To feel any less than I do.

I'm sorry.
I-I -- I just can't.

[ sighs ]

Ace.

Rory:
Hey, how's it going?

It's 4:45 in the morning.

Are you okay?
Did something happen?

Not really.

Um, I just --
I sent you a text the other day.

[ chuckles ]

Yeah, I know.
I texted you back.

No, you didn't.

Yes, I did.
Check your phone.

I don't have
Any missed calls.

Oh, wait, there's
A little envelope thingy

In the bottom corner.

Get out of town.

It went directly
To my saved messages.

Why would it do that?
I couldn't tell you.

Ooh, wow.

Whoa,
Yours is really good.

Okay, well,
Sorry to wake you.

I'll talk to you
In a few hours.

Whoa, where do you think
You're going?

Um, to sleep?

No, I don't think so.
You woke me up.

I'm up.
Text me back.

You want me
To text you back now?

You started this.

I know, but I don't
Have my books with me.

You don't need
Your books, ace.

Logan --
I miss you, rory.

You do?

Yeah.

I miss you, too.

I can't text you
With you on the phone.

Okay, so hang up.

I'm gonna hang up now.
Okay.

Okay. Bye.

Bye.

[ sighs ]

Hi, chris.