All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S06E13 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Hey.
Hey.
Did I wake you?

'cause I brushed my teeth
In the shower

So you wouldn't hear
The sink run.

No, you didn't
Wake me up.

But then it occurred to me

That you could probably hear
The shower run,

And that defeated
The purpose

Of the whole
Shower-toothbrush combo.

Why are you up so early?

Oh, well, you know me.

I do, so why are you up
So early?

I have chores.

It's 6:00 in the morning.

Well, it's
Early morning chores.

What's
Early morning chores?

You know, just milking cows,
Feeding chickens,

Slopping pigs.

You have to slop pigs?
They're certainly not
Gonna slop themselves.

You're being evasive.

I'm not being evasive.

I'm trying
To remain mysterious

So you still find me interesting
100 years from now.

Why won't you tell me
Where you're going?

Well...I'm going
To the flower mart.

Why?

Because
I'm meeting sookie there

Because we were going to
Get ideas

For flowers
For the wedding...

Oh.

...That is now
Postponed.

Right.

But I forgot to call her
Last night because I did,

And, uh, she's there now,

Waiting for me
To pick out flowers.

Sorry.
No. Hey.
It's my bad.

I should have called her
Last night.

No, I meant I was sorry
About the...

[ sighs ]
You need a ride?

No.

So, I should go.

She's probably
Already there, and --

Right. Go.
Okay.

I'll see you later.
Yes. Yes, you will.

Uh, can I help?

Help what?
Help you.

Help me what?
Cancel stuff.

Oh.

You shouldn't have to do this
All by yourself.

No, it's fine.
I'm a great canceler.

I'm so smooth, people think
I'm still gonna show up.

I'm good.
But --

I'll see you later?

Tonight.
Yeah...Unless I cancel.

Just kidding.
I'm not going to...

Oops.
Go back to sleep.

Hold on.

Ow!
God, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to --

It's fine.
It's okay.

It hurts so good,
As mr. Mellencamp said.

Is it bleeding?
No, no.

Okay. That's okay.
I'll see you.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead
*

And what are those
Called?
Bluebells.

Ooh, that sounds fancy.
And what are those?

Fairy wings.

Fairy wings --
So romantic.

Do they smell good?

Ohh. Terrible.

Fairy wings smell like a very
Different part of the fairy,

If you know what I mean.

Sookie!
Hi! Don't smell
The fairy wings.

Don't what?
Never mind.

Sorry I'm so late.

It gave me a chance
To scope out the place.

Sharon over there
Has great stuff,

But she is completely
Anti-haggle.

"This is my price,
And you will pay it."

This is me walking away from you
Over to miguel's,

Who's very haggle-friendly,
But his roses suck.

Do you want roses?
Sookie --

Because if you don't, I saw
Some bluebells over at tim's

That I know are not your
Normal-bouquet kind of choice,

But we can make something
Interesting out of them.

Sookie...
Yes?

The wedding
Has been postponed.

What did you do?

What did I do?

Did you get cold feet?
You can't get cold feet.

We need to put some nice
Wool socks on those feet,

Because luke
Is perfect for you.
I know.

He waited for you
To get over christopher.

He waited for you to get over
Max. Why do you do this?

Why do you want to make
Yourself miserable?
He has a kid.

Who has a kid?
Luke has a kid.

Luke has a kid?
Luke has a kid.

A kid, like a goat?
A kid, like a daughter.
She's 12 years old.

He found out a few months ago,
And he just told me yesterday.

Holy moly.

He's completely in shock,

And he's trying to handle it
The best way he can.

Drinking?
No.

Xanax?
No. He's trying to be a father,
And I applaud that.

For 12 years luke's had
A daughter just walking around?

Yeah.
That is crazy!

Oh, my god.
What?

I wonder if jackson
Has a love child.

What?

I saw this kid wandering
Around town the other day.

He looked exactly
Like jackson,

And his voice
Was exactly like jackson's,

Plus he was holding a banana,
So I think he likes fruit.

Jackson doesn't have a son
He doesn't know about.

Why not? Luke had a daughter
He didn't know anything about.

I know.
You think luke's
The only one with a past?

You think jackson was a monk
When I met him?

He had seed,
And he passed it around.

Sookie...

Sorry. Right. Sorry.
So, how is luke?

He's just trying to deal.

I mean, he wants to do
The right thing by april.

That's her name --
April.

Pretty name.

He's just trying to figure
Everything out,

And the wedding
Was coming up so fast,

We decided to postpone it.

That sucks.
No, it's okay.

It's just I have calls
To make --

You know,
All the plans were made.

I'm a great dialer.
What do you need?

I have to call the printer
And the caterer

And the photographer and the --
And the church --

The perfect church that only had
One date available.

I knew it was all too easy.
I knew there had to be a catch.

No,
There was not a catch.

Luke will get over
The shock of this,

And he'll figure things out,

And everything will be back
To a big "Go, go, go" again.

Luke will figure it out.
Everything will calm down.

I mean, it's all so fresh
Right now.

No one's
Thinking straight.
No, they're not.

He could wake up tomorrow and
Feel completely differently

Or next week, maybe.

Maybe.

Maybe I shouldn't cancel
Everything right away.

I still have some time before
I lose my deposit on the hall.

Maybe I should just chill out
And -- and see what happens.

Is that crazy?

No, it's not crazy
At all.

Okay.
Then...I'll wait?

Once more with feeling?
Okay, then, I'll wait.

Okay.

It's early.
Let's get some coffee.

Are you talking about
That arnaz kid?

Yes!
That's the one!

Well, he does talk
Like jackson.

I know,
And he even gets louder

At the end
Of his sentences!

That's weird.

I told you so.

Logan: stop.

Look.

I don't remember that
Being there yesterday.

Yesterday you came
From the other way,

So you almost took out
The bike rack.

Thank god I have
A guardian angel

Hanging out
By the coffee kiosk.

Well, it's the only place
It's safe to stand

With a maniac like you
Walking around.

Plus, here, I'm guaranteed
To run into you

At least three times
A day.

You've been hanging out
At this coffee cart every day.

Yes, it's sad.
I'm officially a wuss.

If I saw me doing this,
I'd beat the crap out of myself.

You have nothing better
To do?

Nothing better than to try
And get you back, no.

You're too slick for your
Own good, huntzberger.

This is not slick.
This is a nora ephron movie.

Louis armstrong should be
Warbling as we talk.

Please,
Put me out of my misery.

You promised you'd let me
Take you to dinner.

How 'bout
Thursday night?
Really?

I'll have turned in
My article for the daily news,

And my friday morning history
Class was canceled this week.

Okay, great.
Thursday it is -- 7:30.

And do not think
Of backing out,

Because I will cry
And eat a pint of rocky road

While watching
"An affair to remember."

Of course.
7:30?

Can't wait.

Eyes on the road.

Paul anka, mommy's home!

She comes bearing kibble!

Hey, where are you?!

Oh, no.
What have you done?

You're hiding.

That means
You've done something weird.

Oh, seriously?

Some dogs dig! It might be
A nice change of pace!

[ answering machine beeps ]

Babette: hey, sugar.

I heard some terrible
Crashing sounds

Coming from
Your living room today.

I tried to get in,
But luke fixed the back door,

So you can't jiggle it
Off the hinge anymore.

You should really talk to him
About that, sweetie.

I hope everything's okay.
Call me later if it's not.

Bye-bye, toots!

[ beeps ]

Richard:
Lorelai, it's your father.

I'm calling to tell you

There's been a little mistake
With rory's tuition at yale.

Seems our check
Was returned to us.

For whatever reason,
They did not cash it.

Now, don't worry.

I'm sure it's just some sort
Of clerical mix-up.

I've been on the phone with the
Bursar's office all morning.

I'm currently waiting for
A call from a mrs. Linwood,

And then I'm sure I will get
This all cleared up.

Tell rory not to worry.

If anyone gives her any
Trouble, tell them to call me.

I will call you later.
Goodbye.

[ cellphone rings ]

Hey, mom.

Oh, you got
Your study voice.

It goes with my pop-quiz walk
And my term-paper face.

Five minutes?
Go.

I just got a call
From your grandfather.

He called to tell me
Yale returned his check.

He thinks
It's a clerical error.

Not a clerical error.
Nope.

They're gonna find out,
Kid.
Yep.

Getting charged
By the word?

What do you want me
To say?

How 'bout "What do you think
We should do?"
Nothing.

They're going to find out
Christopher is paying for yale.

I know.

And they're not gonna like it.
It's gonna go over badly.

It's gonna be the opening night
Of "Taboo" all over again.

They had to find out
Eventually, mom.

But shouldn't they find out
From you,

Not some office clerk
At yale?

What's the worst
That can happen?

We won't be speaking anymore?
Gee, that would suck.

Wow.
Ice, ice, baby.

Sorry,
Not trying to be cold,

But I don't think
I should feel guilty

Because I want my father
To pay for college.

No, you shouldn't,
But my parents do have feelings.

You saw my mom when the gardener
Butchered her box hedges.

Okay, fine.
I'll send them an e-mail.

Okay, fine, but you could also
Call and tell them yourself.

It'll probably only cost you 75,
Maybe 80 words.

Oh, no.

You saw a rat "Oh, no" or you
Cut off your thumb "Oh, no"?

Paris.
Oh, no.

I have to call you back.

The point is vague.
The point is not vague.

The point is vague!
The conclusions are insane.

The conclusions are
Johns hopkins', not mine.

The research is sloppy,
The sources are unreliable,

The font is wrong,
The paper feels thin,

And the by-line should read
"Story by a petulant 2-year-old

"Who had one too many
Black and tans last night

And so this is what you people
Get to read."

Fix it!

I can't get anyone to write
Their names on their cups

And use them again.

It doesn't seem that hard.
Open sharpie, write name.

Maybe people don't want to
Reuse a paper cup.

Then, hopefully people who don't
Want to reuse a paper cup

Won't mind buying spf 5000
For their grandkids

When the rainforest
Is gone

And the ozone layer
Is a doily

And the human race
Is bursting into flames.

Maybe we could just
Tell everyone

To bring a mug
For their water.

We could,
But they won't bring a mug,

Just like they won't properly
Proof their articles

Or double-check
Their sources.

Paris, did something happen?
You seem upset.

I'm just dealing with the usual
Incompetence around here.

What happened here?

Our pictures
Have sucked eggs lately,

And so I sent out
Two photographers

To cover the same story.

They each came back with about
40 of the crappiest pictures

Ever to have been committed
To film.

It was supposed to be
A picture of a football game.

I know.

Well, was there one with a guy
In a helmet holding a ball?

Because that's really
All you need.

They were predictable
And standard.

Guy in helmet
Holding ball.

Cover of the harvard crimson
After the big game --

Guy with helmet
Holding ball.

Stanford game --
Guy in helmet holding ball.

I wanted something that really
Said something about the game.

Like "We forgot to go"?

And then, of course,
When the temperamental artistes

Found out
I had double-booked the gig,

They threw naomi campbell-level
Hissy fits and quit.

So you just left it blank?
Why, to make them look bad?

Because it doesn't make them
Look bad. It makes you look
Bad.

It was up to the sports editor
To inform me

That no picture
Was approved.

You needed someone to remind you
You didn't approve a picture?

Hey, I have a million different
Things I am doing here!

Paris, we cannot be
Publishing papers

That have blank spots
In them,

And we cannot have
All our photographers quit

Because there's not
An endless supply of them.

How hard is it to look through
A hole and push a button?

I can do it myself.
How are you doing on your story?

Fine. You'll have it
First thing tomorrow morning.

Finally, one person
I can count on.

These need more work.
These are locked.

Well, unlock them.

You've got entire paragraphs
Cut out.

This is hours of work.

I'd have to track down
Every writer --

Then track them down,

Because those stories are not
Going in the paper like that.

She's out of control.
She's a mad dictator.

She's the kind of dictator
They don't just like to kill.

She's the kind I'd like
To drag through the streets

And then hang from a lamppost
For a month and a half.

Let's just get this paper out.
Where's sheila?
Sick.

What about joni?
Sick.

There's an awful lot of sickness
Going on lately.

Yes, there certainly is,

And there's probably going to be
A lot more very soon.

Michelle? Bill.

Well, I just talked to paris,
And you know what that means.

Easy --
Just the messenger.

[ dialing ]

[ telephone rings ]

Hello?

Hi, dad.
It's lorelai.

Emily: lorelai?
Mom?

Emily?
Richard?

Rowan? Martin?

Lorelai called me,
Emily.
What for?

She hasn't told me yet.

Lorelai, why did you call
Your father?

I just wanted to know
How he was doing.

I'm doing fine.
Very glad to hear that.

All right.
It's good of you to check in.

Goodbye, lorelai.
Whoa, guys, wait.

Is there more?
More than the nothing
There just was?

Yes, there's more.

Hurry up, please.

I'm meeting bill chandler
At the club, and I'm late.

Well, I just wanted
To tell you

That there was no mistake
With your yale check.

There wasn't?

No, they sent you back
Your check

Because yale
Has already been paid for.

By whom?

By christopher.

Christopher who?
Christopher isherwood.

That "Cabaret" money was burning
A hole in his pocket.

You know
What christopher, mom.

His grandfather passed away
Recently

And left him some money,

And he just wanted
To do something for rory.

He's trying to be a dad
For once.

I thought it seemed
Like a good idea.

Hello?
Guys, are you there?

I'm here, lorelai.
Your mother had to go.

Oh, dad, please don't read
Too much into this.

I mean,
When was the last time

Christopher wanted to do
Anything for rory?

He wants to contribute.
This is a good thing.

This is not a snub, dad,
I swear.

Rory and I are so grateful

For everything
You and mom have done --

All the help
You've given her.

She would not be in yale
Right now if it weren't for you,

And she would never
Have gone to chilton.

She would have graduated
Stars hollow high

And then gone to community
College and then beauty school.

I have to go, lorelai.
Dad!

I appreciate
The phone call.

I simply wish it had come
Before I called

Every person
In the bursar's office a moron.

Well...If it will make you feel
Any better,

Odds are, at least two of them
Truly deserved it.

[ chuckles ]

I can't believe you didn't
Dress crazy like we agreed.

We never agreed
To dress crazy.

What are you
Talking about?

We did so,
On the phone last night

When we made
Our lunch plans.

You saying,
"Hey, let's dress crazy,"

Does not equate to us agreeing
To dress crazy.

For years, it did.

Well, for years,
You bought my clothes for me,

So I had
Very little choice.

Oh, so typical -- kid grows up,
Goes to a fancy school,

Becomes a snob, and is suddenly
Ashamed of her mother.

You totally
Mildred pierced me.

I did not
Mildred pierce you.

Oh, you'll miss me
When I'm gone.
Oh, my god.

Just an observation.
The food here has gotten worse.

Ooh, coffee!
You have coffee
In your hand.

By the time she makes a new one,
The old one will be gone.

Okay, two, please.
Two double cappuccinos,
Please.

Thanks for having lunch
With me.

Well, you paid.

So, guess what.
What?

I'm having dinner
With logan tonight.

So, he finally wormed
His way back in, huh?
He did, at that.

Is he taking you
Someplace fabulous?
Odds are.

Want to borrow my scarf?

Wait
For the wedding night?

You got it.
Ooh, thank you, ma'am.

Well, I talked to your
Grandparents last night.

Oh, so now they're
My grandparents.

I told them about yale.
Good. I'm glad.

You're glad I told them
Or you're glad they know?
Both.

You want to know
How they took it?
No.

They took it great.

Mom practically broke the phone,
She hung up so hard,

And dad -- well,
Dad was solemn, quiet, sad.

It was a huge success.

Here's how I see it --

You and your grandparents
Are at a huge crossroads.

They are the bridges
Of madison county,

And you are meryl streep.

As the paper pages
Go flying off the calendar.

Hey, listen to me.
I'm serious here.

I know you and
Your grandparents are playing

The "Who can freeze out
Who the longest?"

Which I know can be fun,

But if you ever hope to have
A relationship with them again,

Then someone needs to make
The first move.

I remember the first christmas
After we left hartford.

We were at
The independence inn,

And I got an invitation to their
Annual christmas party,

And I didn't go,

And that one move defined
Our entire future relationship.

I mean, if I had gone,
It would have been awful,

But it would have broken
The ice, and maybe --

And I know this is
A big "Maybe" --

But maybe we would have been
A tad closer

Than we are now
Or could ever hope to be.

Maybe, maybe not.

I just know how much
You love your grandparents

And how important to you
It was

To have a relationship
With them,

And I don't want the fact

That you inherited my
Stubbornness to screw that up.

Okay, I hear you.

Do you? Because my scarf is
Screaming as loud as it can.

I will think about it.

You have till 6:45
Friday night,

Then we're having dinner
With them.

What?!
I made the plans
Last night.

But --
Come on, rory.

Friday night dinners,
Cocktails,

Mozart, mind games --
Good times.

Yeah, but I'm not so sure
About this.

Mom already said
She's really into this.

She is?
Yeah.

Grandma said
She was into this?

Well, you know,
She didn't say it like that,

But she said, "Oh!
Dinner with rory!

"How delightful!
Well, spit-spot.

Alert the corgis."

Yes, yes, she's into it.
Now, what do you say?

Okay.
Okay?

Do you want to wear my scarf
To dinner? I know you do.

Bill.

Well, look who's all dressed up
For the ball.

I sent in my story
This morning.

Did you get it?
Yep.

Well, no one called me in
For a final edit,

And I need
To finish this up now.

I have a date tonight.

So, who is the copy editor
On my piece?

That would be michael.

Well, where is michael
And everyone else?

Well, let's see.

The sports department,
City department,

Entertainment department,

And feature department,
Other than you, have quit.

Michael quit.
Sylvia quit. Joni quit.

Sheila's sick tonight,

But as soon as she's better,
She's going to quit.

Great.
Oh, not done.

The senior editor quit.
The entire copy department quit.

The little fellow who brought
Around sandwiches quit.

Okay, fine, I get it.
Everyone quit.

Not everyone, but close.

It was quite an exodus --
Very biblical.

All that was missing were the
Cabala bracelets and the matzo.

Whatever.
We'll figure that out later.

Right now I just need
To finish my article,

So I guess you and I
Can do it together.

We could,
But I quit, too.

What?
Right after joni.
I bowed out.

I actually bowed --
Physically bowed.

Then what are you
Doing here?

I'm going to have
A ringside seat

For the event
Of the century.

Tonight will be
The first time ever

In the history
Of the yale daily news

That the paper
Does not come out.

Very nice.
D-day --
The paper came out.

Kennedy gets shot --
The paper comes out.

But three months
Of the geller reign of terror,

And the whole damn institution
Comes tumbling down.

You suck, bill.

Paris?

Holy crap.
I can't talk now.

What happened
To this place?

There's no air in here
Or light.

Where are your fire exits?
You love fire exits.

No one can write a lead --
No one.

Paris, do you have any idea
What's going on out there?

I can't think
About that now.

More than half the staff
Has quit --

And there's no one
Out there working.

There's no one
Out there working

When there's people
Out there working.

Paris, the paper's
Not gonna come out.

Of course it is.

How? Nothing's done.
I'm working on it.

Alone?
I can do it alone.

I've been doing it alone
For months.

No man is an island,
But this woman is.

But, paris --
I've got it
All scheduled out.

As long as I stick
To the schedule,

Everything's
Going to be fine.

I'm finishing up a review

Of the drama club's production
Of "Sweeney todd" now.

Then 9:30 to 10:00,
I'm gonna finalize the layout.

10:00 to 11:00 -- copy editing.
11:00 to 12:30 --

Let me see that.

Paris, there's like 100 hours
Of work on this

And 5 hours
Till the paper comes out.

You better get bitten
By that radioactive spider

Pretty damn fast here.

I just have to stop allowing
Myself to be distracted.

Paris!

Don't distract me!

Okay, everyone, listen up.
We have work to do.

You, t-shirt --
You're doing layout.

And, you, saggy pants --
Get all the heelers' numbers,

Call them,
And tell them to get in here.

They've just been promoted.

And I need sheila
And joni's numbers a.S.A.P.

Come on, people! Move!
We've got a paper to get out!

I just think that if michel
Had somebody to come home to,

He might go home.

Oh, he's been
Driving me crazy

About turning the stable
Into a spa.

What would we do
With the horses?
Well, we'd work them in.

We'd have the first hot-hoof
Massage on the east coast.

'cause they've already got them
In california.

Hi, paul anka.

You haven't done anything weird
Yet today, I see.

Do you remember sookie?
Hi, paul anka.

You're gonna come spend
The night with me.

Are you sure
This is okay?

We think a dog
Would be good for davey.

I just want to make sure

That jackson and I
Are dog people first.

Aw, you are.

I mean, I know babies,
But dogs...

Are just furry babies.
Keep him occupied for a second.

Hi, paul anka.

You want to come have
A sleepover at my house, huh?

What are you doing?
Uh, freaks out
If he sees his leash.

You have to make sure
You hide it from him,

Make sure he doesn't see you
Putting it on him.

How is he once
He's on the leash?

He's totally fine having his
Freedom slowly stripped away

As long as he's completely
Unaware that it's happening,

Just like a true american.

Come on, paul anka.
We're gonna have fun tonight.

[ answering machine beeps ]

Luke: I hope you had
A good day with rory.

I would have called you
Earlier,

But I didn't want to
Interrupt the fun,

So I thought I'd try you at
Home, but you're not at home.

Anyhow, april is coming to
The diner from 5:00 to 8:00,

So I'll see you here
After 8:00.

Okay, bye.

After 8:00?

Yeah,
That's what he said.

I guess you two decided that
You're not gonna see the kid.

Yeah, I guess we did.

Hey, if we get a dog,
We're gonna name it chef.

Get it?
'cause I'm a cook.
Oh, cool.

You want me to leave
Paul anka?
No, take him.
I'm great.

You are?
Yeah, I think that's
What we decided.

Come on.
Come on.

Bye, hon.

[ door opens ]

One sample per person, people --
One sample only.

Don't make me use
The candy thermometer on you.

Hey.
There's a line.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I was just --

I know what you
Were doing.

You're trying to shove in
For the free chocolate.

I wasn't trying --
Free chocolate, really?

European hot chocolate.
It's like mud but chocolaty.

And you
Were trying to--

Oh, can it, ruthie.

When your foot's
Not in your mouth,

You don't know
What to do with yourself.

Two, kirk.

You'll have to wait
In line --

Here, doll. Cheers.
Cheers.

Oh, patty, did I tell you
About tilly's new face-lift?

Scotch tape.
[ patty laughs ]

What are we looking at?

Oh, I know
What we're looking at.

We're looking at luke
And his daughter.

How did you know that?
That was page-one news
Around here for a week.

So, what's the scoop?
Well, I don't know.

All we know
Is that she's 12 years old

And that she's
Seeking him out.

I heard her mother
Was that nardini girl.

Oh, yeah.
She was beautiful.

What's she
Look like now?
I don't know.

You don't?

Luke was pretty serious
About her.

He tell you about them?

No, but I don't tell him
About my boyfriends either.

Well, no, because he's met
All of them already.

He hasn't met
All of them -- some.
Most.

Well,
What's the kid like?

Yeah.
You get along?

Oh, well, we will.

You mean
You don't know?

That's to be expected.

She looks like a reader.
Is she a reader?

Can you imagine luke
With a reader?

Oh, I can't imagine luke
With a daughter.

Can you imagine luke
With a kid?

Oh, my god,
I can't believe that.

Luke has a kid.
Can you believe luke has a kid?

He's not a 100-year-old eunuch
Or anything.

There's other people here
Who would like a table.

We're busy.
Go lick the empties.

Busy doing what?
Nothing, nothing.

We're looking
At luke's kid.
Patty!

Well, honey,
Everyone knows.

That's her?
Luke's kid?

Up at the counter.

Lorelai was just about
To give us the inside scoop.

So, do they want money?

I don't think so.

Do you think that luke's
Gonna get a lawyer?

Are you sure
That's his kid?

She's reading.

You're clogging up
The flow here.

We're looking
At luke's kid.

So that's luke's kid.

Well, well, well,
What is she reading, a book?

[ laughs ]

[ crowd murmuring ]

Pardon me. Yeah.

Okay.
No, yes, done, go.

And triple-check the changes.
Make sure it makes sense.

How are we doing?

I have
A very strong opinion

That I have no opinion
On the opinion piece.

And the subject is?
Hand blowers
In the bathrooms.

And the pulitzer prize
Goes to?

Just make sure it's done
In 20 minutes.

Printer's on the phone.
We're losing our spot.

Hello?
Who am I speaking to?

Hello, russell.
This is rory gilmore.

What's this I hear
About us losing our spot?

Yes.

Well, we had an epidemic
Hit our staff this week,

And, unfortunately,
It has put us a bit behind.

However, we are quickly
Getting back on track,

And maybe,
Considering the circumstances,

You could cut us
A little slack,

Give us
A bit of an extension.

I know, but we've never
Asked for it before,

And we will never
Ask for it again.

By the way, you sound like
A very handsome man, russell.

Yes, I'm using my wiles

And everything else I can
To get you to -- one hour.

I'll take it.
Thank you, russell.

You have a slightly
Inappropriate christmas card

Coming your way this year.

We have a one-hour extension!
[ sighs ]

That one and use them both
If we need to fill space.

Hey,
I was cat's-cradling!

Bill, get your ass out
Of that chair and work

Or get your ass out
Of that chair and leave.

Either way, get your ass
Out of that chair.

I am not interested
In helping paris do anything.

You wouldn't be helping paris.
You would be helping me.

If punxsutawney phil
Sticks her head out of her hole,

I am out of here.

Interested
In some desking?
I'm on it.

Computer crashed again.
Unplug it
And plug it back in.

If that doesn't work, call I.T.
And get someone over here now.

Oh, my god. Our date.
I'm so sorry.

Paris melted down
And everyone quit

And the paper
Wasn't gonna come out,

And I only
Found out about it

Because no one called me
To confirm they got my story,

So I called in
All the heelers,

And I got sheila and joni
To come in,

And I called pete,
Who said he was sick,

But I threatened his job,
So he came in,

But he was really sick,
So I just sent him home.

Plus, the printers are trying
To give our time away,

The computers keep crashing,

And then there's the tiny little
Detail of nothing's done.

And d-day, the paper came out,
And I forgot.

I'm sorry.
I can't believe
You didn't call me.

I know,
But it's just paper stuff.

I know.
I'm on the paper.

You hate it here.

I know this crap
Backwards and forwards.

I can't believe you didn't even
Think to call me.

Well, I'm sorry. I just didn't
Think you were interested.

I guess you don't know
Everything, now, do you?

What have you got here?

Well, this is an article
On greenspan.

He gave an interview with all
This technical economic jargon.

I know the jargon.
Are these proofed?

Yeah, but they're not
Typed in yet.

I'll do that.
I type 90 words a minute.
You do?

You really did only like me
For my looks, huh?

How you doing on content?
Uh, still a little short.

I got a couple stories banked
That I didn't give paris.

And just remember,
If you still need material,

Cannibalize everything you
Have ready for friday's issue.

Robbing peter to pay paul.

Peter's asking for it.
So, who do you have desking?

Bill.

I'd throw sheila
On there with him.

It will hurt his ego
And make him work faster.

And get that yo-yo
Off the floor.

Somebody's gonna
Break their neck.

I mean,
Can you believe she reads?

I have a kid who reads.
Crazy!

She sat there for hours doing
Her homework -- geometry.

That's some crazy stuff.

I actually bought a book,
"Geometry for dummies."

I stash it in the kitchen

And run back there every time
She asks me a question,

But I can't figure out
What the hell it says.

I mean, it's just this mess of
Weird symbols and shapes and --

I wonder if there's
Another book I could get.

Um, "'geometry for dummies'
For dummies"?

Yes, exactly.

Luke, she has teachers.

All you have to do
Is nod and smile.

That's what I did
With rory.

I just want her to, you know,
Not be embarrassed I'm her dad.

Impossible.

Well, step by step --

First step, making sure
She's comfortable around me.

She sure seems to be --
I mean, you know,

'cause she's coming here
And hanging out at the diner.

She wouldn't do that
If she was uncomfortable.

Yeah, well,
She's gonna be

With this village of idiots
I live in.

Do you know tonight, she comes
To the diner, right?

She's sitting at the counter,
Doing her homework there.

I look over at the soda shoppe,
And the whole damn town

Is staring through the window
At us.

No!
Like we're monkeys
In a zoo.

I could have
Killed them all.

What happened?

She didn't notice anything.
She was too busy studying.

I just couldn't believe
Those people.

Can't they get that this
Is a private thing,

I'm trying to get
To know my kid?

I mean, you're not all over me
About this.

You get that we need
Some alone time.

Oh, yeah, I do.
I totally do.

Thank you.

Sure. Any time.

Did we verify the dean
Of admissions quote?

Twice. How are we doing
On time?

Uh, bad.

More specifically?
10 minutes.

We'll make it.

Spelling on name --
It's cheevers' name -- c-h--

E-e-v-e-r-s.

You're sure about
The double e's?
Not at all.

Two e's it is.
Okay. And I'm done.

Close out. I'll cut and paste it
To the final copy.

Closing out.

Wow! So, that's
What hard work feels like.

Apparently I've been avoiding it
For a reason.

I'm in.

[ telephone rings ]
The daily news.

Aw, man.

Why are you smiling?

I'm thinking about the hundreds
Of ways you owe me for this.

I owe you nothing.

You did this
For the greater good.

For a foot massage.

Are we close?
Very, very close.

Well, kids,
Hold on to your hats.

We are losing
Our printing time.

No! Remind russell
About the christmas card.

I don't think he cares.
He's giving it to the cart.

No, he can't!
He did.

Ohh! So, that's it?
We just lose?

After all this work,
We just lose?

Keep typing, ace.

Why?
What's the point?

Well, I guess you'll be talking
On the phone now.

Go away, bill.

Hey, who am I speaking with?
Russell, I'm logan huntzberger.

Yes, those huntzbergers.

It's great to speak
With you, too.

I hear there's a problem
With our printing time?

Uh-huh.
No, I completely understand.

The first thing I learned
From my father

Is that there's no paper unless
It gets to the printer on time.

He is quite a legend,
My father.

I'd love to introduce you
To him sometime.

Anyway, russell,
The thing is

We actually sent
The issue to you already.

Yes, at least
15 minutes ago.

Now, if you're having a problem
With your server,

We shouldn't be penalized
For that, right?

Yeah, it should be
In the system right now.

Sure. Go check.

But before you do, if you could
Spell your name for me --

I want to have
The correct pronunciation

When I speak
With my father.

Uh-huh, russell.
Damn! My pen broke.

Hold on.
I'm looking for a pen.

I'm looking for a pen.
Looking for a pen.

Almost there.

Okay. I found a pen.

Here we go. What's your name?
"Russell smith."

I didn't really need a pen
For that one, now, did I?

Okay, russell smith,
If you go to your computer,

I am definitely,
Absolutely sure

That you will turn it on

And you will see that we,
The yale daily news,

Have successfully completed
Our mission

And sent to you our e-mail
Containing the latest issue

Of the --

It's all there, man.

[ sighs ]

What's happening?

You got it?
All right, great.

It's been great
Speaking with you, too.

And that's how we do it
At the daily news!

[ cheers ]

All right!
We got the paper out!

That's what
I'm talking about, people!

Good hustle!
Really good hustle!

And they said
We couldn't do it, huh?

Boy, what a rush, right?!

So, I'm just saying

That when that giant asteroid
Heads toward earth,

I want you
In that fighter jet.

Thanks for the vote
Of confidence.

You saved my ass.
Infinitely worth saving.

Thank you.
You're welcome.

I'm sorry we didn't get
Our dinner.

We didn't.

Huh.

I thought that we did.

Boy, when you're on...
[ chuckles ]

Once upon a time,
There was a big house

With thick glass windows
And heavy stone walls

And a slightly pornographic
Fountain in the driveway.

And all the animals
In the forest

Were scared of the house

'cause they thought
That the house was haunted,

And so did
All the villagers

In the small hamlet
Of hartfordshireville.

"Maids go in,
But they never come out,"

They would whisper
On the street.

How are we doing?
Keep going.

One day, a beautiful,
Young cowherderess

Walked by the house.

Cowherderess?

Hey, we could just go in,
You know?

Cowherderess
Is walking by.

And suddenly she felt
The unbearable need

For a strand of pearls and a
Snifter of 100-year-old scotch.

So, abandoning her cows,
She climbed over the high walls

And dropped onto
The just-redone tiled walkway

And rushed toward
The enchanted french doors

That the queen
Had never been happy with

Because the hardware
Was not what she had picked,

And she refused to pay
That idiot designer

That she hired
Off of a recommendation, and --

Okay, seriously, this
Didn't work when you were 4.

I am not sure why you thought
It would do any good now.

[ sighs ]
It's gonna be fine.

I know.

Come on,
My little cowherderess.

Do you want to press the bell,
Or should I?

[ doorbell rings ]

Hi.
Hello. Come in.

Oh, thank you.
See? We've been invited in.

Such a great start,
Don't you think?

May I take your coats?

Oh, yes, thank you.

Mr. Gilmore
Is in the living room.

Hi. [ chuckles ]

Hey, dad.
Hi, grandpa.

Hello, lorelai.

Rory,
How nice to see you.
Yeah, you too.

Would you like a drink?
Yeah,
That would be great.

I can get it.

Just wanted
To finish the sentence.

Excellent book --
Shame to put it down.

I hope martinis
Will be fine.

Ooh, better than fine.

Will rory be having
A martini?

Yes, she will.
A really small one.

Oh, something smells really
Good, doesn't it, rory?

It does.
It smells really good.

Oh. You're here.

Oh, mom.
Where'd you come from?

Hi, grandma.
Hello, rory.

Are you getting them a drink,
Richard?

Yes, I am, emily.

Something smells
Really good, mom.

Oh, good.
Well, enjoy your drinks.

They're doing a showing
For my art class at the d.A.R.,

And I'm doing a moonscape.

I'm just finishing it up
Out on the patio.

You're painting?

I am.

Right now?

Well, you never know when
Inspiration's going to hit.

You know, I'm actually
Getting pretty good.

I think I have a shot
At a medal.

Two martinis.
Oh, thank you, dad.

Boy, that's
A serious martini.

Drink what you like.
Leave the rest.

So, what's new?

Oh, um, well,
Not too much.

Um, things at the inn
Are going well.

Business -- you know.
We're booked up through --

My martini's not cold enough.
How's yours?

Mine's fine.
I'm gonna get new ice.
I'll make another batch.

Grandma's outside
Painting moonscapes.

Well, she thinks
She can get a medal.

I thought you said
She wanted me to come.
She did.

Mom, she is sitting outside
In the 40-degree weather

Painting moonscapes

So she doesn't have to be
Inside with me.

That is not the reason.

Did she
Or did she not say

She wanted us
To come over for dinner?

She did not say it,
But I know deep down she does.

But you lied to me.

New ice. I can reshake yours
If you like.

Hey, dad,
Is something wrong?

Wrong?

You're very picky about your
Ice, and mom's painting.

There's nothing wrong,
Lorelai.

Is mom still mad?

Mad at whom?
Mad at me?

Anger is a useless emotion.
It's a waste of time.

Your mother has a shot
At a medal.

That's all that's going on
Around here.
Okay, right.

Mom, could you come in here
Just for a sec?

I'd like
To ask you something.

Well...All right.

Can you sit down
For a minute?

Let me
Go change first.
Sit down first.

I can't sit down
In my painting clothes.

Are they painted on?

I'll go upstairs and shower
And change.

Mom!

This ice has
A funny taste to it.

Now, come on, you two.

Can we please just talk
About this?

You're obviously upset about
Christopher paying for yale.

We should have
Told you earlier,

But let me just explain
How it happened.

No. It's my responsibility.
Letexplain.

I don't think anyone needs
To explain anything

Except why I'm not being allowed
To clean myself.

He came to me, and he asked
If he could do anything --

This really
Isn't necessary.

I let him pay for yale.
He's my father.

[ laughs ]

You know something
I don't, mom?

How convenient that he's
Her father now.

Perhaps your father
Can reimburse me

For the five cases
Of scotch

I had to send the men
In the bursar's office.

You know what else
I find amusing?

"Reno 911!"?

I find it very amusing

That christopher is suddenly
Such a wonderful person.

Mom!

When I was
In cahoots with him,

Everyone thought
That I was a villain,

And now you're in cahoots
With him, and that's fine.

Please don't say "Cahoots"
Anymore. It's disturbing.

You're being hypocritical,
Don't you think?

You were trying to break
Luke and me up,

And I'm trying to put
Rory through college.

Rory was already being put
Through college by us.

I didn't want you
To pay for it anymore.
There -- there it is.

So you went
To christopher.
He came to me.

Oh, please.
You just wanted to hurt us.

By taking money
From my father?

Yes, exactly!
I've had enough of this.

I'm going back out
To touch up my moonscape.

I have some work to do.

Hey! This is not
Gonna happen.

You're not going back out
To your moonscape,

You're not going
Back to work,

And you're not
Going home.

Now, we all agreed
To have friday night dinner,

And we're here,
And I smell dinner,

And, yes, apparently there are
Some issues to be worked out,

But no one --
And I mean no one --

Is leaving here
Until we do!

Things were out
Of control.

Not the point --
Simply not the --
It is completely the --

Rory, do not cut
Your grandmother off.

You come running to us,
Begging us to take you in

Because you can't possibly
Deal with your mother.

That's not
What happened.

We pay to redecorate
A poolhouse

So you can have a place
All your own.

I did not ask you
To do that.

You did not
Turn it down.

I didn't hear you saying,
"Grandma, stop."

I didn't see you throw yourself
At the decorators

While they were putting up
Your very expensive wallpaper!

Then when you don't like how
Things are going, you leave!

With no notice,
By the way,

And you leave two strange boys
In our house unsupervised.

We're missing two
Picture frames, by the way.

Colin and finn did not steal
Your pictures!

Do not raise your voice
To your grandmother!

I never realized
How spoiled you were, rory,

But I guess that's
To be expected.

Only children
Are always spoiled.

I'm sorry
I didn't leave a note.

My,
That sounds heartfelt.

Doesn't that sound heartfelt,
Richard?

I've never been more touched
In all my life.

I apologize.
You don't believe it.

I try to defend myself, and
You don't want to hear it.

So, apparently,
There's nothing I can do here.

Oh, there's plenty
You can do.
What? What can I do?

You can admit what you've done.
You can apologize!

I was just trying
To apologize!

Cut her some slack,
Mom!

Rory was going through
Something terrible!

Life is full of terrible things,
Lorelai.

When you're emotional,
You don't think clearly.

I remember a woman who tried
To buy a plane

When her granddaughter
Moved out.

I tried to time-share
A plane.

It is in no way even close
To the same thing.

I've never been so happy to see
A salad in my entire life.

Ugh! I can't believe
What I'm hearing!

If we'd known the extent
Of the issue,

We might not
Have taken rory in.

I tried to tell you!
You did not!

I told you exactly
What happened with mitchum,

And you didn't
Want to hear it.

I don't remember that!
I don't either!

"The huntzbergers told her
She wasn't good enough,

And mitchum told her
She didn't have it."

"He what?!"

"Yes, and now
She's dropped out of yale,

But the three of us can knock
Some sense into her."

"Of course we'll help you.
This is not happening."

"I'll call charlie davenport
Tomorrow."

"Thank you, guys, so much.
Just thank you."

And scene!

This is really
Good sorbet.

Isn't it? Theresa
Made it herself.

Mango?

Passion fruit.

Delicious.
It certainly is.

What are you thinking,
Buying an airplane?!

Emily: I didn't buy it.
I looked at it!

Well, what were you doing
Looking at a plane?!

I can look at a plane
If I want to look at a plane!

[ laughter ]

So I lead her over
To the good table,

Smiling like we are
The best friends in the world,

And I tell her, "Shira,
You don't think rory

"Is good enough
To be in your family?

"She is. We are just
As good as you are.

"After all, you are nothing
But a two-bit gold digger,

And how you managed to bag
Mitchum I will never know."

You did not.

Oh, yes, she did.

I told her mitchum
Still plays around.

Oh, no. Tell her
Exactly what you said.

What did I say?
About her weight going...

Oh, yes, yes.
I got it.

I told her, "Mitchum still
Plays around, you know.

"Well,
Of course you know.

"That's why your weight goes
Up and down 30 pounds

Every 3 months."

Ruthless woman!
[ laughs ]

I bow to the foot
Of the master.

I only wished
I'd remembered

To call her
A cocktail waitress.

That's my mother's version
Of the "C" word.

[ laughter ]

I don't want to quit
The d.A.R.
Well, too late.

I was accepted and certified.
You can't just kick me out.

I know the rules
Backwards and forward,

And I have done nothing
To lose my status

Except argue with you,

Plus I'm in contact with
More members than you are.

That is not true.

And I like more of the members
Than you do.

That is not true.
I talk to tweenie halpern
All the time.

What are you doing talking
To tweenie halpern?

I'm helping her daughter
Look at colleges.

I'm gonna give her
A tour of yale.

You have no right to talk
To tweenie halpern

Or anyone else
In the d.A.R.

I'm not quitting!
Oh, yes, you are!

So, how's luke?

He has a kid.

We were 16!
We didn't want to get married!

Emily: when you get pregnant,
You get married!

A child needs a mother
And a father!

Oh, my god!

Well...I think we've
Officially reinstated

Friday night dinner.