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00:00:00,167 --> 00:00:02,252
(theme music playing)
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(mice squeaking)
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00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:36,995
ANNOUNCER: We now return
to our classic
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00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:39,373
horror movie marathon, featuring...
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00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:42,251
The Country Cannibal
Catastrophe!
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MAN: We can hide in here.
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The last place
these farmers would look
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00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:46,588
would be inside a barn.
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What are they gonna do to us?!
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Not much, just take
a little nibble!
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-(screams)
-(gasps)
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00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:54,346
(evil laugh)
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00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:56,598
(screams) Courtney,
tell me when I can look!
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- You got it, babe!
-(laughs)
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How can you all
be afraid of this stuff?
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It's so corny and stupid!
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Dude's makeup lookin' like
they're just smothered him
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00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,023
in cake frosting.
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00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:07,025
-(laughs)
- Whatever, Tina!
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00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:08,694
You're the one who's weird
for being incapable
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00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:09,987
of experiencing human emotion!
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- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- TINA: (scoffs)
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- Y'all are trippin'.
- TEEN: Shh!
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-(both gasp)
-(triangle ringing)
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Gather round, family!
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It's supper time!
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Gam-gam get us some din-din?!
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Don't hog it all.
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Baby Bingus gotta eat, too!
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(screams)
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What're you kids doin'?!
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- Why ain't y'all workin'?
- C'mon, boss!
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It's dead in here right now.
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We're just passing the time.
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Yeah, we haven't had a delivery
all day.
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We do now!
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Big delivery fee too,
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'cause this pizza's
going all the way out
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to the country!
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The country?!
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Yeah. (sniffs) The country.
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- Just like in the movie!
- No way! I'm out!
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Lol. I'll do it, ya babies.
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What is wrong with you, Tina?
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You could die!
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Come on. I'm not gonna let
some dumb movie
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scare me out of a big tip!
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00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,997
Boop. Well, I'm out.
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00:02:01,997 --> 00:02:03,415
- Y'all be easy.
-(car revving)
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We're never gonna see her again.
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00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:08,253
(suspenseful music playing)
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(grunts) Come on.
Why won't it go faster?!
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I can't control how fast
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00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:14,635
the delivery person
is driving, Gramma.
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00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,928
- GRAMMA: Try harder!
- TILLY: That's not how it works!
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00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:18,930
I still don't get
why y'all ordered a pizza
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all the way from Big City.
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Well, no pizza out here
in the country
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can beat Mama Roni's.
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00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:26,063
It's ridiculously good,
Ms. Green!
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Its rich buttery crust,
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thick pepperoni,
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the subtle use of marinara--
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Easy, now. Easy.
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You're gettin' lost
in the sauce again.
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00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,198
Psh. Pizza's pizza.
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Mama Roni's ain't no different
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from a slice at the gas station.
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-(gasps)
-(indistinct chatter)
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You take that back right now
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00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:44,247
or we're gonna have
some problems!
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I hold two mothers dear
in my life.
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You and Mama Roni.
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The race is a lot closer
than you'd think.
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Sheesh! Okay!
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00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,800
I still think it's crazy,
but y'all do y'all.
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00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,802
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna get some chores done
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00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:58,845
- before dark.
- I'll assist, Mama.
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It'll help work up my appetite
for the impending cheese.
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Where the pizza at?
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TINA: I can't believe
that dumb movie scared everyone
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out of making this delivery.
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Pass on a giant tip?
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Couldn't be me, honey!
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All right, how much farther
is this place?
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-(phone beeps)
- TINA: Oh, what?
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No reception? (scoffs)
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That's great. Whatever.
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I can find this place on my own!
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Be there and back in a snap.
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The pizza is within range.
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Come on, people!
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Look! I think that's them!
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(cheering)
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00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:26,706
- Huh?
- What?
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00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:27,999
Wait, what are they doin'?
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Oh, look! They're coming back!
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They just missed the driveway.
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ALL: Hooray!
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BILL: They're still going.
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The ding-bat's lost!
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Ugh, so dark out here.
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- I can't see anything.
-(tense music playing)
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-(gasps)
-(tire screeching)
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Was that a person?!
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(wind howls)
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(chuckles) It was nothing.
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Can't believe that movie
has me seeing things.
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Y'know, it's not like--
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(screams)
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(crash)
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Cricket, what are you doing?!
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I was trying to help
the pizza girl find our driveway
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- but she crashed!
-(gasps) Oh, my gosh!
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- That's terrible!
- I know!
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I hope the pizza's all right!
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- Hmm?
- The delivery girl!
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I meant the delivery girl.
(chuckles)
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All right. Let's go see
if she's okay.
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- Pizza time.
- Cricket!
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Whoa!
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What was that? (gasps)
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(footsteps approaching)
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I'm not sticking around
to find out!
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- Looks like I'm walking.
-(car door clicks)
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I didn't come all this way
for nothing.
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I'm still making that delivery.
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00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:28,727
(suspenseful music playing)
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00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:29,978
Look! It's the car!
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Hope the driver's okay.
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- Let's get a closer look.
- Huh?
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- Hello.
-(grunts)
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She ain't inside.
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She couldn't have gotten far.
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Fan out. Find her.
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00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,409
-(gasps)
-(grunts)
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(suspenseful music playing)
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I'm starting to get
pretty hungry.
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Stay strong, Remy.
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00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:51,958
Just visualize
the glorious moment
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when we finally get our pizza!
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(giggles) I can almost taste it!
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(breathes heavily)
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C'mon, Tina.
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This is ridiculous.
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00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,469
Country people
ain't gonna eat you.
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That was just a movie.
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00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,472
-(gasps)
- CRICKET: Yep.
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00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,265
When we find that delivery girl,
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I'm gonna feast.
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A meal this good,
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and I'll rip it apart
with my bare hands
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and scarf it down! (laughing)
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(gasps) They are gonna eat me!
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(sinister laughs)
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I prefer to use a fork
and knife.
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Slice it up into little nibbles,
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savor the flavor.
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No, no, no, no.
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Hey, everybody! She's over here!
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(screams)
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(panting)
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(grunts)
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GRAMMA: C'mere, girlie!
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(screams)
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(panting)
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00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,757
Why is she running?!
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00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:44,803
Thanks for helping clear
these tree limbs, shug.
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Some of these branches
are too tough for the lopper.
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Might need to use
something stronger.
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I'll help you, Mama. Just need
to borrow some of these first.
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Huh? What are you doing
with those?
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Just a little something
to keep my mind occupied
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until the pizza arrives.
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(panting)
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(sighs)
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00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,654
I think I lost them.
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00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:03,864
(gasps)
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Hello. Who are you?
180
00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:08,243
Oh! Thank goodness,
you're a normal person.
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Yep. That would be me.
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You look awful spooked, Ma'am.
Are you all right?
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00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,125
No, no. I'm not all right!
I've been running
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00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:16,877
and I'm not sure where I am,
and-and...
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(sobbing) I need help!
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Oh, you poor thing!
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00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:22,883
Well, if you need help,
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00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,551
look no further than Tilly.
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I'm a friend! You'll be okay.
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(sniffle) Thank you.
My name's Tina.
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I'm so glad
I found someone sane.
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I was afraid I'd never find
my way out of here.
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(wind howls)
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(gasps) W-what is this place?
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00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:45,196
Do you like it?
I call it Oak-log-homa.
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00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:47,782
I've been building it myself.
Let me introduce you.
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00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:50,452
There's Gunther, Huell, Elaine,
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00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:52,537
Constable Rodriguez,
Maribel, Tony,
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00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:55,165
Gertrude, and little Tim-Tim!
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00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,292
Everyone say "hi" to Tina!
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00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:58,877
(chuckles) Uh, yeah.
202
00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:00,670
Listen, we need to get out
of here.
203
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,881
- It's dangerous!
- What do you mean?
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00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:05,467
There are these crazy
country people hunting me down!
205
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:08,094
A big burly farmer,
an evil old woman,
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00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,763
and two demon children!
207
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,098
Oh! That's just my family!
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00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,516
(suspenseful music playing)
209
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:15,352
Your what?
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I see,
you're the pizza delivery girl.
211
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,607
We called you here to satiate
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00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:23,735
our very particular hunger.
213
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:26,613
No, you're-you're one of them!
(gasps)
214
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:29,491
Listen. You can hear
my family calling out.
215
00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:31,117
Looking for you.
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00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,203
It has been such a long time
217
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,288
since we've last eaten.
218
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:38,875
Won't you please
let us have our supper?!
219
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,126
(screams)
220
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,420
Evil baby! Evil baby!
221
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:43,880
Where is she going?
222
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:44,839
(panting)
223
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,257
Oh, a building!
224
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:49,010
Civilization! I'm saved!
225
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,012
(groans) Stupid tree.
226
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:52,555
(chainsaw revving)
227
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:54,974
NANCY: Those limbs
have got to go!
228
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:58,353
How many people
are in this murder forest?!
229
00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:00,355
What was that? A deer?
230
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:02,148
Nancy! Did you see her?
231
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,609
Well, I saw something run off
towards the barn.
232
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,361
(panting)
233
00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:09,656
(sighs)
234
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,658
Oh, no, no, no, no.
235
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:12,992
Blood sugar.
236
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:15,870
I need food.
237
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:16,955
(grunts)
238
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,164
Oh, geez.
239
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,499
She locked herself in!
240
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,583
Ugh!
241
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:21,668
Now, what do we do?
242
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,294
I'm starvin'!
243
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:25,672
I guess we could just
get some pizza
244
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:26,923
from the gas station.
245
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:29,342
(Cricket laughing)
246
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,219
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
247
00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:32,846
Ever since we placed our order,
248
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,723
I've only thought of one thing,
249
00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,391
Mama Roni's pizza!
250
00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:37,600
We were patient with this girl.
251
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,144
We tried to help.
252
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,271
But it's time
we take what's ours!
253
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:44,482
We are getting that pizza!
254
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:45,734
Oh!
255
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:48,653
(grunting)
256
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:51,322
Cricket's right!
Let's break the door down!
257
00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:52,991
(grunting)
258
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,242
(thudding)
259
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:55,702
No! They're breaking through!
260
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,246
-(thuds)
-(growls)
261
00:08:58,246 --> 00:09:00,707
Stay away from me, you monsters!
262
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:04,377
- Huh?
-(evil laughs)
263
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:07,922
- Ow.
-(evil laughs)
264
00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:09,215
Oh, no.
265
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,968
(chainsaw revving)
266
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,012
- Hold it!
- Huh?
267
00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:15,346
What the heck is going on?!
268
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:16,806
She won't let us eat!
269
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,933
Of course I won't,
you cannibals!
270
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,519
- Cannibals?!
- Oh, don't play dumb!
271
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:23,396
You country freaks lure people
out here and eat them!
272
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,148
Just like in that movie,
273
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,025
The Country Cannibal
Catastrophe!
274
00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:29,903
That's ridiculous!
We just wanted a Big City pizza!
275
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,613
- Really?
- You probably shouldn't believe
276
00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:33,740
everything you see in movies.
277
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:36,743
However, as crazy as y'all
have acted about Mama Roni's,
278
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:39,245
it's no wonder she thought
you were man-eating lunatics.
279
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,955
- Yeah.
- Big point.
280
00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:42,332
(sighs) I can't believe
281
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,875
I thought you were trying
to eat me!
282
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,752
I can't believe
we went so psycho
283
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,670
even though you did just about
starve us to death.
284
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:50,173
Well, I guess I owe you a pizza.
285
00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:52,092
Oh boy, it's finally happening!
286
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:54,010
Oh, yeah.
287
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,806
Whoa!
288
00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,307
- Oh!
-(all gasp)
289
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:01,810
Ooh, that's no good.
290
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,686
Oh, no! What a mess!
291
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,480
I can order you guys a new--
292
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,732
-(neck pops)
-(slurps)
293
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,485
- Run.
- What?
294
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:11,820
I can't take it!
295
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,154
Sorry, Mom,
296
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:14,906
but your baby boy's gotta eat!
297
00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:15,824
-(screams)
- Oh!
298
00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:17,325
Ow, Ow, ow.
299
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,452
-(grunts)
- I said run!
300
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,287
-(groans)
-(hisses)
301
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,957
Oh, you are gonna eat me!
302
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,792
(sobs)
303
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,794
Oh!
304
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:28,795
Help!
305
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:29,963
Oh, my goodness!
306
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,214
(grunts) Oh!
307
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:33,299
- ALL: Pizza!
- CRICKET: No!
308
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,468
- Get me out of here!
-(car revving)
309
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,428
-(groans)
- Pizza!
310
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:38,263
(panting)
311
00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:44,269
(laughing)
312
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:46,688
(all gasps)
313
00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:49,232
Ugh, come on, y'all,
that's disgusting.
314
00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:51,151
It can't possibly be that--
315
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,777
hm?
316
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,654
Mmm! That is good.
317
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,489
GRAMMA: Stop hoggin'
all the cheese!
318
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:59,409
It's so nice to eat together
as a family.
319
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:00,410
(screams)
19839
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