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COUGHS
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I before E.
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00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,000
COUGHS
4
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,000
Except after C.
5
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,000
Sorry, I've got an awful cough!
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00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,280
FORCED LAUGH
7
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,280
Shh!
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00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:23,200
What on earth?!
9
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:26,720
The library is open!
10
00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:31,640
Class K, this is unacceptable.
11
00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:34,560
The only thing
I can't accept is that dandruff.
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00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:38,240
You've got a whole generation
of snowflakes on them shoulders.
13
00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:39,760
How dare you!
14
00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:43,840
How dare you, with that
lemon and herb energy!
15
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:45,600
Now, look...
16
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,680
What perfume you wearing?
Eau De unseasoned chicken?!
17
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,040
At least you're
doing your bit for the environment,
18
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:56,200
because those bags
under your eyes are for life.
19
00:00:56,200 --> 00:01:00,760
Madam, might I suggest, "jack-at
po-tah-toh" to go with that...
20
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,000
GAGS
21
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,000
..tuna and mayo breath!
22
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,519
Don't think it's her breath, fam.
23
00:01:05,519 --> 00:01:08,280
You know what they say,
plenty more fish in the V.
24
00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,640
And that's that. On period.
ALL: Period!
25
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,840
Are you out of your tiny minds?!
26
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:18,440
It ain't personal,
it's a reading exam,
27
00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,280
and you just got
read like on Drag Race.
28
00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,960
Sir's been prepping us all term.
29
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:26,840
No, literacy as in
reading and writing.
30
00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:30,360
Books, analysis, critical thinking.
31
00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:31,960
Excuse me!
32
00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:33,880
Sir! OK, Miss Gorrel.
33
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,720
Now look what you've done!
Oh, wait, I'm so sorry!
34
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,600
No, but, sorry, that was unreal,
I'm so proud of you all!
35
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,320
Oh, shit, sir, if I fail another
exam, my mum is going to kill you.
36
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:47,920
Oh, don't worry, just tell her
education isn't about the
destination, it's about the journey.
37
00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:49,640
I said, she'll kill YOU!
38
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:52,320
Who else do you think our
parents are going to blame?
39
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:55,920
NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE
40
00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:57,720
What I will say is...
41
00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:59,520
NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE
42
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,440
Whatever!
43
00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:03,760
NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE
44
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:08,639
Enough!
45
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,000
Oh, my God!
46
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,600
Miss Hoburn, wait!
47
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,360
# Yeah, proper tings
48
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,800
# Original style
49
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,079
# We come to kick the drum
50
00:02:40,079 --> 00:02:42,640
# The wicked money spoil, yeah. #
51
00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:51,480
Last week, Usma's mum told me,
if her grades slip again,
52
00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,480
she's going to soak my cleansing
cloth in chloroform.
53
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:56,120
Jesus, she actually said that?
54
00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:57,920
Word for word...
55
00:02:57,920 --> 00:02:59,520
..with her eyes!
56
00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:04,200
Whoa! I mean, all the parents are so
savage, I dress straight for them.
57
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,480
Hm? Last parents' evening...
58
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,080
Go on.
59
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,680
SNIFFS
60
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,680
I wore...
61
00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:13,880
..Burton.
62
00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:15,760
You're joking. I'm sorry, mate.
63
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,560
Mr Carmichael,
despite my best efforts,
64
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,600
it looks like I'm stuck at this
godforsaken school for the long haul
65
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:25,560
and now, thanks to you,
we could go into special measures.
66
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:28,520
Oh, well...
SINGSONG: You're wel-come!
67
00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,560
No, special is...
SINGSONG: ..ba-a-a-ad!
68
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:35,160
We'll be under constant supervision,
crucified for every tiny mistake
69
00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:38,360
by these, well, apparatchiks.
70
00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:40,440
Mr Harper, what are you doing here?
Eh?
71
00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:43,560
Oh, I just assumed I'd
be in trouble an' all.
72
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,160
You're not "in trouble an' all".
73
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:48,840
It's Mr Carmichael's
head on the chopping board today.
Go on, shoo! Sweet.
74
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:52,720
Now, thanks to you, your form are in
danger of failing basic literacy.
75
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:57,360
So, at 4pm today, Class K will
sit another literacy exam.
76
00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:00,560
Members of the exam board
will stay here today to
77
00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,280
observe their preparations.
78
00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:05,000
If any member of staff
tries to help Class K,
79
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:08,800
it will count as cheating,
an automatic fail. T-ch! T-ch!
80
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:13,200
I get it, no cheating, no cheating!
Are you still going to
WhatsApp the questions as usual?
81
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,560
No!
82
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,560
SHE LAUGHS
83
00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,880
No, absolutely not, absolutely...
84
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,120
I don't know what you're
talking about, no.
85
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:23,000
The exam will take the form of a
spoken presentation, as they are
harder to cheat in.
86
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,440
Hm. This decision was taken after
some rather silly concerns were
87
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:29,920
raised about my own behaviour
in this morning's exam. I mean,
88
00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:34,600
literally ask anyone, ask anyone,
I always... I always carry
89
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,880
a pocket English dictionary in my
pocket. The clue's in the title!
90
00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:42,680
And would the examiners like to tell
us what book the children
are going to be reading?
91
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,200
LOUD THUMP
92
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:49,000
Oh, yes, good choice,
the plays of great British writer
93
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,320
George Bernard Shaw.
94
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:52,600
Oh, I'm pretty sure he was Irish.
95
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:56,840
Don't...
The board would like you to read
George Bernard Shaw's play,
96
00:04:56,840 --> 00:05:00,000
Pygmalion, and then they would
like you to present a critical
97
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,320
analysis of said play.
98
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:06,680
Oh, dear, yes, that is... I think
that's the only copy in the library.
99
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,280
Most of our books are in much better
nick, but I've always got
100
00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:12,040
a thumb in Bernard Shaw.
Well, two thumbs, essentially.
101
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:15,440
I mean, I probably, if I could,
get a whole fist in the guy!
102
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,640
Sorry, Miss? Yes?
103
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:19,080
Is there any chance
we can read a different play?
104
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:23,400
Enough, we are going to do this
presentation by the book,
105
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,800
or you will all suffer
the consequences.
106
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,360
Give me your phones.
107
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,760
No Google, no TikTok,
108
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,320
no Wikipedia, no ChatGPT.
109
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:33,640
Come on, man.
110
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:39,240
Of course.
Guys, get it together!
111
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:42,520
GULPS
112
00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:45,840
Hey! Oh!
113
00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:47,840
STUTTERS
114
00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:47,840
I'm so stressed.
115
00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:52,400
Whoa, I think I'm having a stroke.
I can smell dog shit!
116
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:55,360
That's not a symptom of a stroke.
117
00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:59,560
Oh, um, Blessing, actually, I think
that was you, I saw you tread in it
earlier.
118
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:00,960
SCREAMS
119
00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:05,320
What? Jinx, why didn't you tell me?
120
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,680
I didn't want to be a white saviour.
121
00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:11,320
As a reluctantly cishet girl who
goes on two holidays every year,
122
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:16,280
except for a fortnight in Cornwall,
I am very aware of my blind spots.
123
00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:19,080
Maybe you wanted to tread in it.
124
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:22,160
Yo, yo, yo, yo, guys...
Guys, she Jinxed it.
125
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,240
I Jinxed it? What's that?
126
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:26,760
Ah, it's just banter, innit?
127
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,280
It's what you say when someone's
too white to function.
128
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:33,200
As in, me, my, my name...
Who... Who says that?
129
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,360
Oh, just... Just us
and the rest of the school.
130
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:38,159
Pavel...and Edna.
My cousin, my mum.
131
00:06:38,159 --> 00:06:41,120
My parrot said it one time.
My hairdresser, ooh, my nail tech.
132
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:44,000
Everyone.
He did, I remember him saying that.
133
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,159
Yo, wait, Jinx.
134
00:06:46,159 --> 00:06:47,720
WHISTLE
135
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:03,280
WHISTLE
136
00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:05,880
OK, hippos,
who's hungry for more balls?
137
00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:09,400
As I said to the missus last...
Not appropriate.
138
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:12,200
Right, you know what you're doing,
I'll be in me office.
139
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,640
Jinx? Oh. Er...
140
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,640
SNIFFS
141
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,080
Hey, what's the matter?
142
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:21,720
You see someone drinking
out a plastic cup again?
143
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:24,160
No, nothing. I'm sorry.
144
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:25,560
How thick do you think I am?
145
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,200
Come on, you can tell me.
146
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,520
Oh, sir, I don't think you're thick.
147
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:32,480
I think you're
the product of a broken system.
148
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:35,520
No, I meant, you can
tell me why you're crying.
149
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,159
Well, go on, I'm a good listener.
150
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:42,120
RECORD SCRATCH
151
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,760
..and my therapist says I overthink
things, but what child of six isn't
152
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:47,360
traumatised by the bloodthirsty
consumerism of duck-duck-goose?
153
00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:49,360
And then, when I was 11...
Jinx, Jinx! Jesus!
154
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:53,320
You worry too much.
Why do you care what people think?
155
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,440
I can't help it.
156
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,840
My first word was "sorry",
and yesterday,
157
00:07:57,840 --> 00:07:59,720
I apologised to my own reflection.
158
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,520
Right, well...
Well, I can help with that.
159
00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:06,480
We've got to toughen you up.
Come on girl, we've got work to do.
160
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:07,800
SCREAMS
161
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:11,840
Remember, two legs good,
four legs bad, yeah?
162
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:15,480
If your feet are on the ground,
you're listening, you're involved.
163
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,760
Are you listening? Yes.
164
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,760
HORN
165
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,840
No! Never listen!
166
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:25,160
Further, further... Further.
167
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:26,840
SCREAMS
168
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:32,960
Right.
169
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:37,520
There's one seat left on the train.
170
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,799
Excuse me, elderly lady...
Not that you look elderly,
171
00:08:39,799 --> 00:08:42,440
I'm sure you have a lovely
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00:08:39,799 --> 00:08:42,440
skin care routine.
173
00:08:39,799 --> 00:08:42,440
HORN
174
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:46,400
Pardon me, I see that you are with
child, if you'd like to take a seat.
HORN
175
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:51,040
You're on the Stanstead Express
for a 6am flight to Cork,
what you drinking?
176
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:53,160
Er... Flat white? Nope.
177
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:53,160
HORN
178
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,000
Sorry, oat flat white.
179
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,000
HORN
180
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,920
Vodka? Nope.
What's wrong with vodka?
181
00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,120
It's slimming. Oh!
182
00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,120
HORN
183
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:03,600
COCKNEY-ESQUE ACCENT: Pint of
Guinness and a white wine spritzer
for the lady. Better.
184
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,560
At the minute, yeah,
you're here, isosceles.
185
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:09,280
We need more equilateral, yeah?
186
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:12,760
So I'm talking elbows out,
knees out, neck forward, yeah?
187
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,640
GRUNTS
188
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,160
All right, you win!
189
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,480
Oh, wait a minute, what's this?
190
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:21,560
The clouds have opened,
the sun's come out,
191
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:24,560
it's about to hit nine degrees
Celsius, you got ten seconds
192
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:27,360
to take your top off and start
blaring Pitbull out your phone!
193
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,320
Take my top off?
No, don't do that, actually.
194
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,200
Now, this phone cost me 200 quid.
195
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:36,600
It's where I keep the only photos
I have of my late grandmother
196
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:38,240
and my beautiful baby boy.
197
00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:41,400
Guess what, I ain't backed it up.
198
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:42,920
Now, what you going to do?
199
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,080
Three, two, one.
200
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,600
Wanker!
201
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:54,960
Are you Tottenham in disguise?
Brap-brap, oi!
202
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,840
By St George, I think she's got it.
203
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,040
Yo, Detective Pikachu,
go faster, man.
204
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:05,160
There are thousands of pages.
The man wrote a lot of plays, OK?
205
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,320
Psst! How's it going?
206
00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,680
Sir, why are you
dressed like a nurse?
207
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:14,280
Because Hoburn and that exam woman
are trying stop me from
208
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:17,120
helping you and this is an
emergency and I'm always on theme.
209
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,760
So don't be coming at me with that
Kourtney and Kim
season 18, episode one energy, OK?
210
00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:23,720
What? Well, we ain't even started
Pygmalion yet.
211
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,240
Sir, why don't you teach us
anything useful?
212
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:29,600
That concealer application
is looking pretty useful to me,
213
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,000
sis, but I am sorry, OK?
214
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,320
Your parents are going to kill me.
Bruv, I ain't scared of my dad.
215
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,360
If man steps to me,
he's getting whacked.
216
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:40,440
If he steps towards you, it will
be diagonally, cos he's a bishop.
217
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:45,120
Huh? It's a chess joke. No? OK.
218
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:48,360
Don't worry, I got it.
No, you didn't, but, thank you.
219
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:50,800
Sir, it's calm,
we have Jinx, remember?
220
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,400
She probably knows the play.
221
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:55,720
Ah, of course, and where is that
little piece of tofu?
222
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:57,240
Yo, yo, yo.
223
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:02,080
Ah, she'll know what a Pygmalion is.
That's Tony's juice!
224
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:04,840
OK, Jemima, it's giving.
225
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:07,120
Giving nothing?
226
00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:10,280
Like your silhouette in that outfit.
227
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,080
OK!
228
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,600
Um... Obsessed.
229
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:19,360
But we kinda need to focus on the
presentation, so, wind your neck in.
230
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,960
Mm... Yeah, the presentation.
231
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,960
I guess you're right about me,
cos I really couldn't give
232
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,280
a shit about it,
or any of you lot for that matter.
233
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:29,400
Wig.
234
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,480
But the play is probably written
by some dead, old white guy.
235
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:34,480
Mm, you going to eat those?
236
00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,360
Goddamn! Blessing's right.
237
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:42,920
I bet there's loads about misogyny
and objectifying women in there.
238
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:47,120
Jinx, you hate that shit.
Nah, drop me out, you melt.
239
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:50,320
Why are you talking like Mr Harper?
240
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,960
BELL RINGS
241
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:05,560
Look, I'm telling you lot,
there's a code in the title, right?
242
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:07,840
Yo, I've rearranged the letters.
243
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:12,400
Pyg-mal-ion.
244
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,680
Like a pig Iron Man,
olden-day superhero shit.
245
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:17,080
OK!
246
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:19,720
There's loads of superhero
stuff in the costume cupboard.
247
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:23,640
Nah, Pygmalion's that dirty
STI Warren's nan got on that
swingers cruise.
248
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:27,160
Stop saying that, it wasn't for
swingers, it was for lonely hearts.
249
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:31,160
Yeah? Why do you think they called
the jacuzzi egg drop soup? Urgh!
250
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:32,920
Juvenile.
251
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:36,840
Hey, Jinx. Hey, babe. Hey, bestie.
252
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:40,920
Come on, Jinx, I know you love
these dry old books.
253
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:44,680
Before I met you, I thought
period drama was wearing
white jeans on a heavy day.
254
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:50,400
Oh! Yes! It's the last page, there's
something about a sculpture and a
character called Eliza Doolittle.
255
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,680
Is she pretty? Show me her.
256
00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:54,840
Oh... Forgot it wasn't a phone.
257
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:59,520
OK, so if we all work together,
we can each take one act of the play
and read it for the presentation.
258
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,480
Hey, yo, yo, yo, yo! What is this?
259
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,280
I found it stashed in
the dressing-up cupboard.
260
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:09,040
Hey, it's got
shit about all of yous in it.
261
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:13,480
Oh, my God!
It's a burn book, it's going to
be full of gossip, give me!
262
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:19,040
Hey, nah, nah, nah, nah. Hey,
listen to this. "Harrison is so
dumb, people do reps with him."
263
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:22,520
Oh! All right, OK...
264
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,840
Ooh, found one on you!
265
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,800
"Warren's got as much personality
as that bit of water that
266
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,520
"builds on out-of-date yoghurts."
267
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,680
Well, well... Oh, oh!
268
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,880
"Inchez's bars are
so soft, people hear them
269
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,360
"and say I can't believe
it's not butter!"
270
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,160
Hey, give me that, give me that.
271
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:48,160
"Usma is so dumb..."
Oh, no! "..she'd try using Bic
Biro on her eyebrow."
272
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,280
Give me that book!
273
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,680
Ooh...
274
00:13:56,080 --> 00:14:00,040
Oh... "Blessing's breath stinks
so bad,
275
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:03,000
"when she yawns, her teeth duck."
276
00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,000
What's up!
277
00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,000
LAUGHTER
278
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,200
Yeah?
279
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:11,040
Well, see how you lot
get on without my help.
280
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,280
What? Yo...
281
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:13,600
No, no, no, no, no!
282
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,840
You have to help.
283
00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:17,520
It's fragile, please! Give it to me!
284
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:18,960
Get off!
285
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,040
THEY SHOUT OVER EACH OTHER
286
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:27,400
Jinx, you've got gravy on the book.
287
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,840
Pfft. Ah, shut up!
288
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,840
LAUGHTER
289
00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:31,920
Look, how come there's nothing
about you in there?
290
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,320
Wait. Because she wrote it.
291
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,240
Jinx wrote down all the shit
she's too scared to say
292
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:38,920
to my immaculate face!
293
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,560
Fine.
294
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,520
Maybe I did write it.
295
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:46,240
Since I'm such a two-faced bitch.
296
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:47,520
Jesus.
297
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,280
And you owe me a bargain bucket!
298
00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:56,520
Well, that's just brilliant.
299
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:57,680
The book's ruined.
300
00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:00,400
Bravo! I can't believe I let you all
drag me down to your level.
301
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,440
I ain't gonna be where
I'm not appreciated.
302
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,720
I'm Harry-Styling this out
and going solo.
303
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,600
Shapeesh!
304
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,600
You're dickheads anyway, man.
305
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,640
Don't touch it - just leave it, OK?
306
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:14,200
Oh, here you go, mate.
Here you go. Wahey! Wanker!
307
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:17,000
Oi! What have you done to Jinx?
308
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,000
On the one day I needed her to be
her beggy little self,
309
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,080
you've turned her
into a little tramp.
310
00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:24,680
Without her, Class K are screwed.
311
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:27,320
Yeah. Yeah, I taught that girl
to fart in public.
312
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:28,440
And you know something?
313
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,360
I've never felt more alive
in my life.
314
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,560
Well, I'm glad you feel alive,
because if they fail
315
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:37,200
this presentation, their parents
are going to kill me!
316
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,800
Give me your phone.
The examiner took mine.
317
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:41,960
Oh. Sorry, mate. She's a write-off.
318
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,760
God! And none of the other teachers
will give me their phones
319
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:46,040
because they're all snakes.
320
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:48,240
We're running out of time.
321
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,280
We need to google this play.
322
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:51,600
We need a phone.
323
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:54,200
Then we're gonna have to go looking
in the shadows, for the sickos
324
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,440
and the freaks, where no
sane person would ever go.
325
00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,280
The library.
326
00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:01,040
Worse.
327
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:03,160
Much, much worse.
328
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,040
SHE PLAYS RIFF
329
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:14,640
All right, shaggers?
330
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,840
Life's crap, innit?
331
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:18,120
Tell you what, anyone fancy
a scream into the abyss?
332
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:20,680
AMERICAN ACCENT: Hey, oh,
what's that tune you're playing?
333
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,080
It's, like, so depressing.
334
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:23,920
How about we prank call
each other's moms
335
00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:25,600
and pretend we've been in
a car accident?
336
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:26,680
Oh, gnarly!
337
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,560
Oi, give us your phone, please.
Five minutes.
338
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:30,080
Harper, Carmichael.
339
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,960
I do not want to see you
trying to help Class K.
340
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,560
You see, I have a zero-tolerance
policy on cheating.
341
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,280
Now, off you go.
342
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,560
In separate directions.
343
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,560
THEY SIGH
344
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,040
See you later, dude.
345
00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:48,200
Sis, let me use your phone
for two minutes
346
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:49,600
and I'll do your eyebrows.
347
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,760
Why are you laughing?
348
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,000
The burn book.
349
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:04,720
LAUGHTER ECHOES
350
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,000
Why are you giving these
out to everyone?!
351
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,839
I kicked off me Jesus creepers
and threw on some mug boots.
352
00:17:17,839 --> 00:17:20,720
What? It's just a bit of banter.
No big deal.
353
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:21,839
Here you are, boys.
354
00:17:21,839 --> 00:17:24,560
I should've done this
a long time ago.
355
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,400
Consider yourself unfollowed!
356
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,040
Buh-bye.
357
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:32,200
Please, can I just borrow
someone's phone very qui...?
358
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:35,480
Can you just stop laughing!
359
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,240
I need a phone right now.
360
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:38,920
I need to google Pygmalion.
361
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,600
It's not that bad -
it has personality!
362
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,200
You know what? I'm gonna be getting
you lot back for this.
363
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:50,640
You guys are mean!
364
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:55,560
Butter? Flour me, man.
365
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,880
That burn book knows
nothing about my music.
366
00:17:57,880 --> 00:17:59,000
Let me use your phone.
367
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,200
Soz, the police are still
holding it in evidence.
368
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,720
That detective has a real
head girl energy.
369
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,160
Yo, what is this?
370
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:07,920
Miss Hoburn wanted me to organise
a literary tea in honour
371
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,680
of the examiner.
372
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:12,200
A slice of March Hare.
373
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:15,000
You think it's rabbit but
it's actually pork,
374
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,200
because nothing is what it seems.
375
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,400
In fact, technically
it's not even pork.
376
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:22,400
Mistaken - fake bacon.
377
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,960
Piggy pop!
378
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,320
Sluiced from the floor
of the abattoir.
379
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:30,080
Wait. If you make me a sculpture
of a pig for this presentation,
380
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:32,160
I'll let you direct my next
music video.
381
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,040
Oh, I knew you'd see sense!
382
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,120
Just think what you can build
with this stuff.
383
00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:38,000
I just need a pig, Fraser.
384
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,040
Just leave it in the playground
before the presentation, yeah?
385
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:44,680
Oh, and those examiners cannot
see you help me. You feel me?
386
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:45,880
Now?
387
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,400
Why you gotta make
everything weird, fam?
388
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:49,840
HE TUTS
389
00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:51,520
DANCE MUSIC
390
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:54,080
Jinx! This has gone too far.
391
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:56,880
That presentation starts in an hour
and if Class K fail,
392
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,120
everyone suffers.
393
00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:00,200
Oi, Skids, chuck us a coke.
394
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,400
Skids?
395
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:02,640
His name's Mark.
396
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,480
That is quality, to be fair.
397
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,360
HORN BLARES
398
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:11,680
Do you know what, Jinx?
399
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:14,520
When I first met you I thought,
"What a melt."
400
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,240
I don't know if it was your hair,
or the little clips that you
401
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,880
put in your hair or them little buns
that you do on your head or...
402
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,440
Why is it all hair related?
Look, what I'm saying is,
403
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:24,280
I'm glad you're happier like this.
404
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:27,880
But I told you to stop worrying -
never told you to stop caring.
405
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,120
You never hang your mates
out to dry, Jinx.
406
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,320
HOOTER
407
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,320
Jesus!
408
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,720
I spend my bank holiday
itemising problematic tropes
409
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,280
and rap genius, and they call me
Greta-no-mates.
410
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:46,000
I re-use my pasta water to wash
my hair and they say I stink.
411
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,720
If they spent a little less time
being dicks,
412
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:52,000
they'd realise that Pygmalion is
just the film Pretty Woman.
413
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,880
Warren's seen it 14 times
with his nan.
414
00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:57,640
Now, if you don't mind,
415
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:01,120
Skids and I are gonna smash a packet
of Tangfastic to the spit pit.
416
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,920
Big mistake, Jinx.
417
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:11,440
Huge.
418
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,680
Oof. She's called Judith.
419
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,880
Named her after Mother.
420
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:21,080
Same disappointed look in her eyes.
421
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:23,560
Cute. Listen, in my defence,
422
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:27,800
I'm feeling very emotional
because, well, I love my kids
423
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:31,000
and that scrubby little English
teacher kept refusing to tell me
424
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,000
what happens in Pygmalion.
425
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,640
So, one thing led to another...
426
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:38,440
MUSIC: Mathilde
by Scott Walker
427
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,680
# Mama, can you hear me yell... #
MUFFLED SHOUTS
428
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,960
# Your baby boy's
gone back to hell... #
429
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,720
Witnesses?
I don't think so. Beginner's luck.
430
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,360
So what am I gonna do about
this English teacher?
431
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:50,200
Hmm. Slippery little suckers.
432
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,400
You could always pay me now
and break the ice.
433
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,440
Fraser, why are you quoting
Pretty Woman?
434
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,960
Because Pretty Woman is Pygmalion.
435
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,360
Guy meets girl, turns her into
something she's not.
436
00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:01,360
Girl learns to love who she was
before.
437
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,360
It's basically
my relationship template.
438
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:05,640
Yes, Fraser! Thank God
you're so bad with women,
439
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,280
but how am I gonna tell the kids
with Hoburn watching me?
440
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:11,560
Leave the English teacher to me.
You just do what you do best.
441
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:12,960
Karaoke?
442
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,760
MUSIC: Pretty Woman
by Roy Orbison
443
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:23,320
Oof!
444
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:25,720
OK, I'm dead.
445
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:29,320
# Pretty woman,
walkin' down the street
446
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:31,600
# Pretty woman,
the kind I like to meet... #
447
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:32,840
Sorry, what?
448
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:34,680
Well, Jinx let slip
that it was Pretty Woman,
449
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,400
so I'm trying to give
the class a heads up.
450
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,120
Mm. PRETTY Woman, but snaps.
451
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:40,240
Piss off. Argh! Come on.
452
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:41,520
You're so selfish, man.
453
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,600
Just show me
what you're writing about...
454
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,560
KIDS SPEAK OVER EACH OTHER
455
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:46,840
Say, "Pretty Woman."
456
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:47,920
Pretty...
457
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:49,560
Pretty Woman, pretty Woman!
458
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,640
Pretty Woman!
459
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,640
INDISTINCT CHATTER
460
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,640
That's her!
461
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,280
Erm, they didn't look like
they were working.
462
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:00,480
Oh, shit, what time is it?
463
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,680
I haven't got my phone -
I'm screwed!
464
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,680
Right, that presentation
starts soon,
465
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:08,040
so we need to find a way into that
classroom without anyone seeing us.
466
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,040
You're not claustrophobic, are you?
467
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:13,320
# Oh, pretty woman... #
I can't get in.
468
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,200
I feel like I'm thumbing in a softy.
469
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,520
You need to get in the foetal
position like when
470
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,360
you're hiding in the boot
of a woman's car.
471
00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:21,240
No good. Stephen, you're up.
472
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,800
Huh? Ah, absolutely not.
473
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,400
Any minute now them kids are gonna
be sat in that assembly hall
474
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,240
waiting for that exam to start.
475
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:29,600
Fine!
476
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,680
It's 2010. It's 2010.
You're Gaga, you're Gaga,
477
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:36,240
you're Gaga, you're Gaga!
478
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,640
Do you want me to grease you up
or are you gonna go in dry?
479
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:40,400
Shut up, Fraser.
480
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,520
I'm gonna go in bareback.
481
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,000
SQUELCHING
482
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:00,720
Let's go.
483
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,600
Argh...
484
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,440
Mitchell, watch where you're going!
485
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,800
God, it stinks in here!
486
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:15,040
HIP-HOP PLAYS ON HEADPHONES
487
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:17,440
Fraser... Woohoo!
488
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:18,600
Inchez!
489
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,800
Pygmalion is Pretty Woman!
490
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:24,000
Oh, my God!
491
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,760
STEPHEN SCREAMS
492
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,040
Inchez!
493
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,760
Mr Harper! Where are you going
in those clothes?
494
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:36,240
Well, I could ask you
the same thing.
495
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:38,000
What, you going shoplifting
in that coat?
496
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,440
Oh, give it a rest! Oh!
497
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,680
I found the English teacher
in a cupboard,
498
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:43,400
babbling about Pretty Woman.
499
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,000
Perhaps I should've taken
his hood off before he passed out.
500
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,360
But you're cheating?
501
00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:48,880
Well, obviously.
502
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:50,280
It's our only hope!
503
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,760
This is the first time I've been
able to shake off those
504
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:55,040
exam board ghouls.
505
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:56,440
All right, so what's your plan?
506
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:58,600
I plan to flash the children
during the exam.
507
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:01,640
Right, don't stress. Stephen is
in there right now telling the kids.
508
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,000
But the presentation has started.
509
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,240
Can't you tell the time?
510
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,040
Bernie, I'll level with ya.
511
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:10,160
I have absolutely no idea how
this thing works.
512
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:11,760
CLOCK TICKS
513
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,560
Hurry up, you fool!
514
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:16,400
Oh, I'm so sorry we're late.
515
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:22,400
TIMERS BEEP
516
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,120
Once upon a time,
517
00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:26,320
in a farm,
far, far away in Ireland,
518
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,720
there lived Dr Doolittle.
519
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:30,200
Oh, God, we're dead.
520
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,040
Shut up, yoghurt boy. You shut up!
521
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:34,040
In a world...
522
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,360
..where metal meets flesh...
Inchez, stop, listen!
523
00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:38,000
..and all is chaos,
524
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,400
where swine rule...
525
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:42,080
Pop!
526
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,160
Booyaka!
527
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:45,560
What are you doing?
528
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:46,640
Chill, Miss.
529
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,080
It's a 4-D experience, innit?
530
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,560
One pig refused to go home.
531
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:51,720
His name...
532
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:53,360
..Pig Iron Man.
533
00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:54,760
Oi, dickhead,
534
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,240
move to the left.
535
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:58,520
It's got nothing to do with pigs.
536
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:00,080
Ahem.
537
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,520
Sirs, madams,
538
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:04,840
Eliza Doolittle is a hot girl
539
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:08,080
who had to deal with everybody's
jealousy, even in the olden days.
540
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,720
Is olden days a literary term?
541
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:11,720
Go find a personality!
542
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:13,040
Go get a brain cell!
543
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:14,520
I'm gonna get him!
544
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,200
Go for the eyes.
545
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,200
SHOUTING
546
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,040
I can't die in a pig,
I can't die in a pig.
547
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:20,120
Not in this look, not in this wig!
548
00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:22,440
No, no, not the nails - argh!
549
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:23,960
SHOUTING
550
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,440
And scene!
551
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,640
SHOUTING STOPS
552
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,640
Erm...
553
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:29,520
USMA SIGHS
554
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:29,520
Judas!
555
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,880
Ladies and gentlemen
of the exam board,
556
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:36,000
we present to you Class K's
presentation on Pygmalion.
557
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:47,840
Because, after all,
aren't we all Pygmalion?
558
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:53,320
Ahem... Today, Mr Harper transformed
me from an anxious bibliophile
559
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:55,200
and vegan into a yob,
560
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:58,240
the kind of person who hangs
their mates out to dry.
561
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,640
Usma represents the person
Eliza Doolittle was
562
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,520
forced to become -
elegant but submissive.
563
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:05,960
And peng.
564
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:09,560
Harrison embodies the blank pages
in our lives that we are yet
565
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:10,800
to have written.
566
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:12,920
MUFFLED: Argh, argh, argh!
567
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:17,000
Oh, shoot!
568
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,160
Oh, don't mind him - he's just
the English teacher.
569
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,440
Who represents the...blindness
of the patriarchy.
570
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:25,400
STEPHEN: Oh, my life, enough!
571
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:26,680
Ugh!
572
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:28,320
GASPS
573
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,760
Ah...
574
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,080
Oh, there's gunge in the wig!
575
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,160
Oh...
576
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,040
Water!
577
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:43,480
I need water!
578
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,280
Ah!
579
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:48,920
To drink!
580
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:50,000
Oh.
581
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:53,600
And, ah, Mr Carmichael embodies
582
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:56,320
the core themes of Pygmalion...
583
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:59,000
..that within us all is a bold -
584
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,400
and certainly authentic -
585
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,880
soul waiting to burst out.
586
00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:05,680
We just...
587
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:08,840
We just need the courage to be seen
for who we truly are.
588
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,160
And...period!
589
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:24,720
No.
590
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:26,920
CHEERING
591
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,360
LAUGHTER
592
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,800
Can't believe I'm saying this, Jinx,
but that burn book was jokes.
593
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:43,000
Oh, well, I didn't actually
write it.
594
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:46,640
You guys all assumed I did
and I was a little bit butt-hurt,
595
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:48,600
so I just went with it.
596
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:49,800
Sorry.
597
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,560
Wait, so if you didn't write it,
then who did?
598
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,240
Ah... My notebook!
599
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:55,440
Thank God.
600
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,600
Wait, are you serious?
You wrote this?
601
00:27:57,600 --> 00:27:59,320
Ah, have you met your parents?
602
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,520
I have to have clap-backs for
when they go on about how
603
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:03,960
amazing you all are and how much
of a terrible teacher I am.
604
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:07,240
But you're not a terrible teacher.
Yeah. Aw!
605
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:09,120
I guess I am amazing. Hm!
606
00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:10,360
Thank you!
607
00:28:10,360 --> 00:28:14,040
But if you wrote it, then why isn't
there anything bad about Jinx in it?
608
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,480
Oh, because my parents don't
come to the school.
609
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:19,080
They don't ask questions or
they're just too busy,
610
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:22,800
or they just don't...care.
611
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,400
Which is their loss,
because they wouldn't get to hear
612
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:28,520
all the amazing things
I would tell them about you.
613
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:29,800
Oh...
614
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:32,840
Well, erm, you could tell me now.
615
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:35,800
Don't be a beg.
616
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:37,040
Come on, home time.
617
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:38,520
Warren, chair.
618
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,880
Oh, and you know the Burton suit?
619
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:42,000
Burn it.
620
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,440
I won't be needing her any more.
621
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:44,680
Come here!
622
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:53,280
# Yeah, proper tings
623
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:09,480
# Original style
624
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:13,200
# We come to kick the drum
The wicked money spoil, yeah. #
75030
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