All language subtitles for - Exhibition - 2013

Yeah? Do you want anything?

Mm...

You know, it'd be nice if you
could come up here.

Um, maybe try and distract
me from my work.

Get under the desk or something.

Where you going?

Ah.

In a way, if you don't really talk
about it or-or can't discuss it,

other people are going to
decide, you know?

I know, I just don't want to
discuss it with you.

Eh? I just don't want to
discuss it with you.

Yeah, but I'm good, you know,
I'm good practice, no?

No, 'cause you'll just say it's
silly and glib.

Well, but...you know.

If you don't, you won't get it.

I'm on your side. I'm not... I'm not
against you, I'm just curious.

I'm just curious, that's all.

I know, but... 'Cause why not...why
not use someone else?

You should use someone else,
makes life much easier.

I don't want to be put down,

criticised, and I think that's
what you'll do.

Stop it before it's begun.

No.

Hi.

Hi. What you up to?
Ah, eh, just...go.

It'll be better, thank you.
All right, sorry.

'Yet though she played at
being a child,

'she had seen through me completely.

'And though she made
me her pupil there and then

'in the game of living, for each
fleeting moment, she seemed to

'know more of life than is known to
the wisest of the wise.

'It might be the highest wisdom or
the merest artlessness.

'It is certain in any case that life
is quite disarmed by the gift

'to live so entirely in the present,

'to treasure with such eager care
every flower by the wayside

'and the light that plays on
every passing moment.

'Was I to believe that this
happy child,

'with her hearty appetite
and the air of a gourmet, was at the

'same time a victim of hysterical
visions who wished to die,

'or a careful calculating woman who
unmoved herself at the

'conscious intention of making
me her lover and her slave?

'I could not believe it.

'Know her surrender to the moment
was so simple and complete that

'the fleeting shadows and agitation
to the very depths of the

'soul come to her no less than every
pleasurable impulse and were

'lived as fully.'

Did I do something?

Did I say something?

Then I was in the cinema, but the
screen was blank and there

were only two chairs.

And he was standing in the doorway,
a very narrow doorway.

I had to squeeze through it
and we touched.

I could feel him watching me,
his eyes boring into me

everywhere I went.

And he called out and asked
me how my work was going.

And he really listened and
I told him.

He never took his eyes off
me and when he spoke he had

a beautiful deep voice.

And I wanted
him to touch me so badly.

I can barely make any decisions at
all, to be honest.

I start making decisions based on
stupid things that I think about.

I thought we would just sort of
miraculously come to some...

unified position,

based on a mixture of intellect and
intuition that somehow

magically synchronise.

...garden carries traces of a body,
in a way,

because a yard is based on
a human measurement.

So, you've got these kind of moments
where you keep encountering

these three foot here,
three foot there,

and they're basically the reach
of an adult male.

And it's interesting that... I don't
know if this was subconscious, but

it's almost like the architect had
stood in the garden and then

reached out from the house, and
where their fingertips were, that's

where a retaining wall would be.
A low retaining wall.

So, all the way around the house

you've got these moments
of...of reach.

First you look at it and you think
that's some kind of...possibly

a beech tree or something like that.

But actually, if you look at the
leaf shape and so on,

it's very special. Oop, sorry. Heh.

I'm always doing that.

You know...
So, you know, the way it's been cut,

it means that you've got these
different levels. The different

views from the different floors of
the house give you a very particular

kind of layering, you know, of
the foliage and what not. It's good.

Yeah, OK. Yeah, thank you.
It's great, very unique.

Should we go back inside? Yeah.

I have to say, I have always wanted
to be inside this house. Exactly.

Original spiral staircase and I
always wonder if they...you know,

I always wonder if they intended to
go right through to the roof. Mm.

I mean, it's about the only thing I
would really suggest changing

about the house, probably. Right.

That would still be in keeping,
you know, with its importance.

Go all the way up.

Yeah, think about it. I just think
people didn't do it then.

Roof terraces. I don't know,
you're the expert.

We claim to be. Yes.

How long have you lived here,
do you mind me asking?

18 years, I suppose now, 17?
Feels like 40 or something.

I mean...
Well, don't know. Doesn't it?

Bit of a disagreement.

I really love the house still and
I'll be

sorry to leave it.

Shall we go into the bedroom?

Yes, yes, of course. Right.

Might take a while.

All right.

God, it used to fit.

Don't do the neck up,
it's choking me already.

You sure? Yeah.

Maybe. More?

Yeah, just up to the collar.

I'm going to go and make some
things. Ahem, do I look all right?

What? Do I look all right?

Don't have any fear, just get in.
Trust it. It's amazing.

We've got the wine if anything goes wrong.

He'll end up in Feltham Young
Offenders Institute anyway.

Oh, no, William, you always go to
the worst-case scenario.

It is not going to get that far.
It happens, you know, it happens.

It does because that's what you see
every day in court.

That's not going to be
Matthew's path. No.

We've just got to help him and
support him. OK, all right.

He's doing his homework at the
moment. Mm-hmm.

Well, that's good, you see? Well.

Yes, I mean,
as long as he's doing it. Yeah.

I mean, if he... Would you mind if I
just had a little look,

'cause I can see through? I just want
to see that he's still...

Don't worry so much about him,
he'll be OK. No, I'm just checking.

It's OK, it's OK. Sorry, it's just a
bit of a stressful night. I mean...

You know, you can imagine. I understand.

Sorry, it's very boring going on
about children the whole time.

Does this actually come off or...?

Ever?

This thing.

It's not about wanting to,
it's the fact that we can.

We have time, we can do something.

We can...

build something.
We've got possibilities, you know?

We should do it while we can.

We've been here so long.

There's no children,
there's nothing to stop us doing it.

We can do what we want.

OK.

Try and enjoy the house while
you can. Yep.

OK?

Watch out for the phantom pisser.

Well, there is some regret.

I mean, there's two things. There's
the nostalgia, really. Mm.

Regret maybe is a bit strong. Mm.
But there's the nostalgia.

I mean, if I had to make the
decision again, I probably

would have done what I've done. Oh.

But the nostalgia is
a permanent factor... Yeah.

...of making such a huge move.

But I can't imagine... All
those maintenance factors

will be the same wherever you are.
Exactly.

I live in a cabin here and it was
only yesterday that I

finished all the maintenance,

and the cabin's only
six metres by three.

Yeah. You know, there's always going
to be maintenance, even if it's a

tiny place, there's
going to be maintenance.

And, you know, the original
architects, they stayed here

until they were in their 80s.
They had a very happy marriage here.

I feel it's in the walls, you know.
Oh, did they?

Yeah, the house has recorded,
you know, this happy,

long happy marriage from the...
Oh, gorgeous.

You know, from the building of the
house till their 80s, yeah. Yeah.

Me ol' mate, what's up?

What's going on?
That's my car there. What's up?

Come on. What's up, mate?

What are you doing? I'm parking here.
I'm waiting for a bit of paint to come down.

Private. It don't
look private to me, mate.

Public. Private.
Yeah, I know, but it just...

This is everyone else's bit...

There's nothing up there saying...

...and this is my bit. Can you go in?
H, can you go inside? Your bit.

No, this,
nothing says this is private.

Looks like the back of a shop to me.

Look!

It's context, right?

Building. Yeah.
This is everyone else's bit.

What's going on? I don't understand.

This is driving me nuts. I'm going
to be here five minutes, that's all.

Just, look, just go inside. He'll
move it. I'll get him to move it.

Five minutes.
Can't do it now.

You know what? I'm going to put some
big gates up here...

That's what I would do... and write
"fuck off" across them.

I'd put gates all the way along here
and that way you won't get

this problem, will ya?

Can't move it now, can you?

No, I can't move it, I'm waiting for
some paint. H, just...

Move it, move it. No, I can't.

I'm going to pop over there, get the
paint and just come back, all right?

Move it, move it. Got the picture?
Got the picture? Move it.

Fuck off, fucker.

You're so aggressive. Fucker.

Where you going?
I'm just moving the car.

Hi.

'Hi.

'What are you doing?'

Just working.

'Uh-huh.'
Just working.

'Want to come upstairs?'

I can't at the moment. Maybe later.

'Uh-huh.

'Well, you won't feel like it then,
will you?'

Mm-hm.

She's not moving.

Just do it.

I know, I know. I want you to get...
Hey, hey, I want to play.

Do you want to play first? Nope.

No?

Suppose it's too fast?

Hm? I like it fast.

And, you know...

I can't with-with, eh...

...with like, eh, just a-a-a body.

You know?

Hm?

Are they scared of getting
too close to it?

No, no,
it's got nothing to do with that.

Lazy?

Perhaps they want you to say it

so they don't look stupid.

No, I'm not doing that.
I'm not going to tell them.

It's not my job to classify
myself or tell people...

Describe to people what species I'm
part of or what subset,

you know, of waterfowl I am.

See what I mean? Mm. Every artist
gets that. No, they don't.

It's really...it's
particular to now.

It's a unique problem now.
It's not an old problem.

It is, every artist, every musician
always gets asked, you know,

"Where do you fit in?
Define yourself."

I don't know why you're making such
a fuss about it.

Sounds like you're on her side.

Well, just think you're lucky to
have people write about you

and are interested in your ideas and
they want to talk to you

because they think you're...

interesting.

And, uh, they want to engage with
you and that's...

...that's a nice position to be in.

Maybe it's something else. Maybe...

...you're unhappy about
something else.

'Cause you've dealt with that
so many times.

Hi.

'I love you.'

I don't think there's anything
really wrong with him.

You've got to give him a little...
We've just got to be very careful.

This is a difficult...it's
a very tricky stage. Very hard.

I mean, to be honest, I was all over
the place as a teenager.

So, I'm just very,
very wary. Oh, I see.

I'm just... A-ha, aah. Maybe we
should go to the party. Well...

I know what you mean, I know what
you mean and, you know, yes,

but he's just not quite ready for
that kind of stuff.

He's just not. You can't write
him...

And now it's just... One has
to be so careful.

You can't write him out an ASBO or
something, keep him...

Well, it's just much heavier and
there are these kids with knives.

Just fascinating,
seeing it from the other side.

Yes, you won't have seen
it from the other way.

Are we in? What are we doing?

You are funny, aren't you?
We're thinking.

Yes, it's lovely actually,
just seeing the sort of...

That used to terrify me as a kid,
the idea of knocking on the

door and he would answer the
door or something. Mm.

It was one of those things.

Oh. So, you sure you really want to
sell? It's a doppelganger thing.

Beg your pardon?
You really want to sell? Uh, yeah.

I mean, it's such a stunning place.
I just dream of living there myself.

You say that, but who would want to
live...? It's very odd.

Sorry, I'm not being rude but it is
odd. It's a fantastic place.

It's not, it's... Do you want to put
in an offer?

I wish I could but on my minimal
legal aid barrister salary,

unfortunately I'm not able... No, it
wouldn't be, it's not a family home.

Sorry, I don't mean... No, no. It's
not really a family home, is it?

It's an artist's home and that's
what it's... Well, they are artists.

I mean, they belong there.

Yes, exactly, it suits them but it
wouldn't be right for us.

No, no, I'm not...
God, I feel, I feel really hot.

Ooh! What?
Are you OK? Shit.

Oh, God, right.

She's going to be fine. She's going
to be fine. What's happened?!

Leave... Hang on, hang on.
Let's have some air. Is it the food?

You can open this window
if you like. Hang on, hang on.

I'll call a doctor, yeah?
Oh, my God.

Oh, I think... D. I'm all right.
Can you stand? No, no, shall I...?

Get some water, William, for
Christ's sake. All right, all right.

I thought you were going to leave
me down there.

You can't keep doing that
kind of thing.

Why? I thought you...I thought
you'd be pleased.

No, someone's going to give you the
kiss of life if you're not careful.

And it's not going to be me.

I was having a good time.
I couldn't stand it any longer,

going on about their children all
the time. I just wanted to get home.

Mm?

That's better.

Hang on.

I had an idea. I had an idea.

I had an idea. You're not going out.

Hm? You're not going out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine.
It's too late.

No, it's good. I'll feel better.
You'll feel better too.

It's too late.

No, no, no. No. No, no, no, no.

No, you're not going out.
It's ridiculous.

It's good, it's lovely.
Don't you feel better?

Right, hang on.
No, no, no. What are you doing?!

It's fine. Where's my coat?

It's too late. It's good for you,
it's good for you.

No, no. It's good for you.
Two scarves too many.

Please...please don't go. It's good.
Please don't go out.

You'll like it. You'll be impressed.

No, I don't want you to go.
You'll be impressed.

Please, please, please don't go.
No, no, no, you'll be impressed.

No, no, no, no.
No, no, no. I really worry.

No, no. Look, look,
let me get my shit together.

It reminds me...
Look at...look, how do I look?

No, please don't go out. I beg you.

It's going to be fun. It's fun.

No, I'm going to really worry,
please. No, no, no.

It's too dangerous, you know,
it reminds me of what...

It's not dangerous. Come on,
let's look at it.

Look at everyone who's out there. Look,
it reminds me of what happened before.

No-one's watching.

Come on. Let's go.

Please, please. No, no, no,
it's fine. It's nice, it's lovely.

Please. Look at it.
It's really nice.

Yeah, just...just don't worry about
me. Go back to work.

Yeah?

'Hi.

'Um...'
What?

What are we doing tonight?

I'm...I'm working at the moment.

'Uh-huh.'

Fucking fuck!

Get off me!

H?

Are you OK in there?

'What?'
Are you OK?

You sure you're all right?

'Stop worrying about me.'

Just them. Yeah?

Come on.

Oop. Oh, hi, hi. Hello.

Come in. Good to see you again.
And you. Hiya. Hi.

Hello. Glad to see you.
Good to see you. Welcome back.

Hi. Hello, how are you?
Good to see you. Yeah, good.

Right. OK, can you take your shoes
off, please? We forgot.

Oh, of course. Yeah.

There we go. OK, great. Thanks.

Thanks.

Up until you exchange contracts,
it's completely up to you and nobody

has to know why you're refusing to
sell to them specifically.

Um, we'll...and we're pretty
sharp at keeping

a beady eye out for developers.

Even developers disguised as
domestic buyers. Mm. Mm.

Can it be in a contract even to say,
you know,

they won't pull the building down?

It's hard to stipulate that and you
risk alienating buyers at the

point of sale. Mm.

Um, but you'll get
a very... You'll have an instinct.

As soon as people walk into the
house, you'll have

a very clear instinct of their taste
and if they fall in love with

the house as it is. People
start talking about what they

would do to the house. "This is
where... Oh, I love this kitchen,

"this is what I'd do to the
bathroom." Yeah.

In a way, I can't even go there,

to start thinking what they
might do with the house.

You know, I'm going to have to
cut off emotionally and

separate, otherwise, you know,
it's going to be too hurtful.

But I don't ever want it to be
pulled down, you know.

It's important that it isn't.

You don't have to be here when
people are being shown round

if you don't want to. I mean, we can
arrange whatever's useful for you.

Mm. And we'll try and make it as
painless as we possibly can. Mm.

Yeah, I've got a few things,
you know, ideas that I'm working on

at the moment that might be really
good, you know, to develop for that.

Yeah, but we'd have to have a...
you know, have a good talk and...

Yeah.

No, nothing this year, no.

So, you know, it's a good time to do
it really, 'cause I haven't sort

of saturated.

I haven't been overexposed or
anything so it would be good.

Yeah.

Mm.

Mm, well, thank you very much.
Yeah, that's good to hear.

Um, yeah, because I think I've been
quite... Working quite sort of

insular in a way.

Which, you know,
is a strength, I think,

of the work as well but there comes
a time when it

has to go out and it makes you...not
so much to be seen but, yeah,

makes me reassess what I'm doing if
I let go of it sometimes.

And, uh, yeah, moves it along
so that would be brilliant.

Yeah, that's very exciting, yeah.

That's a very exciting prospect.

Mm.

OK, so, shall I wait for an e-mail
for you, or...? Yeah.

Yeah.

Mm, absolutely.

That's...yeah, really exciting.

Great.

Thanks very much.

Bye.

'Hello.'

Do you still love me?

'Oh, of course. What kind of a
question's that? Of course I do.

'Did that just arrive
out of the blue?'

Sort of.

'What's the problem?'

Nothing.
'You sure?'

Yeah.

Just-just needed to know.
'Uh-huh.'

OK.

Talk to you later.

'40s STYLE DANCE MUSIC

Maybe this is one aspect of the work
that you're capable of

putting into people's minds.
A critical and analytical

framework, that otherwise they
wouldn't have, yet you do it without

being overly didactic or telling
them exactly how to behave or think.

And I have to say, I spend
a lot of time nowadays when I'm

looking at certain situations, I'm
brought back to your work somehow.

It stays with me, it haunts me,
it somehow... It feeds my...

It works as a road map to
try and unpack

a lot of these kind of psychological
aspects of the domestic that

are normally quite hard to reach.

When you're working on something
yourself, are you...?

What are you
responding to most profoundly?

Is it the place itself or is it the
things that come from your

private life that somehow find
their way into the work?

It's ridiculous if you get to the
point where you're not even

prepared to say anything at all. It
makes me feel I'm missing something

or that I just a...happen to be
there at the same time as you.

I have no other purpose.

I know, but it's funny because you
say that about my work,

but actually I find you very
withholding emotionally

and you never talk about your
emotions or what you're feeling.

That's a construct,
it's not a... People are different.

Some people do, some people don't.

Well, some people talk about their
work, some people don't.

Right, right. Well, then it's fine,
it doesn't bother me really.

Can just... You just said it did.

It bothers me a little bit but I'm
curious and I support it,

but I'm also... I feel that
there's this barrier.

I can be useful to you. I can be
useful. I'm not completely...

But the thing is... ...useless.

I...

I don't want your input,
I don't want your judgment, I don't

want your ideas, I don't want your
cleverness because it derails me.

Then what-what's...
what am I doing then, in the end?

I'm just sort of a... I'm company.

Yeah. Or something.
Yeah, you're my companion.

CHEERFUL '40s STYLE MUSIC

# King was in the counting house

# The counting house

# Counting his money

# Wearing an artful grin

# The Queen began to plead then roar

# And cried once more

# "Unlock this door!"

# The King replied, "Shan't,
I'm busy, you can't come in.

# "When you were eating honey then
you made me wait, it's true.

# "For your housekeeping money,
you..." #

Hello.

'I'm cold.' You're cold?
'Mm...freezing.'

Why don't you put
a coat on or something?

'I've got a jumper on.'

Put another one on.
'Mm.'

You don't feel cold?

'No, no, I'm not cold but maybe,
I mean, I've been run...you know...

'I haven't been thinking about it.

'Are you trying to tell me
something?'

Mm.

'Do you want me to go and
look at the boiler?'

Wouldn't mind.

'I'll stop what I'm doing
and do that.'

OK.

The Chans are a family but they were
worried about actually

selling to a family
because it's so...

Yeah, they don't have any children

so I suppose they're worried it's
not very child friendly.

Right, well, that's what I'm here to
sort of have a look at. Yeah.

OK. Yeah. As you know they've got
three young children. Yes.

And, with the parents, that's five
people all on the top floor

so I'd be interested to, you know,

work our way through the house, but
perhaps we should start down here.

Absolutely. How can we help you?
What do you want to see?

Well, there's two key things I'd
like to look at.

One is the lift and the lift car in
relation to the lift shaft,

just to see how much space there is,

'cause it looks like here there's quite
a lot of space.

OK.

Oh, right, well...

So, it's a pretty small car within
what looks like quite

a big lift shaft itself.

Yeah, I don't know how many, um...

Quite a thin wall, yeah. Yep.

'Are you happy with everything
you've seen down here?

'Yep, sure. Yeah.

'Um, oh, shoes off, everybody.
Oh, yes, of course. Sorry.

'It's one of the house rules.

'The balustrade is very open and
these days you need to have

'a gap of not more than
four inches only.

'So, it would be nice to preserve
that but provide the safety

'that we do need for a family house.

'Especially with children, yeah.

'Yeah, exactly.'

Met someone I really liked,
really attracted to him.

And he asked me about my work and
he talked about my work and...

he really listened and
he really got it.

Uh...

Oh, then we were running down
a corridor...

Stone steps,

laughing.

I loved the sound of his voice.

Could've listened to it forever.

Hey.

Hi. Hiya. How are you?
Good, thanks. Hello, how are you?

How's it going? All right, a bit
cold. Cold? Yeah. I didn't dress up.

Cup of tea to get you warm?
I wouldn't mind, I wouldn't mind,

but I've got to get home. OK.
All right. Well, I won't keep you.

You might want to pop in later.
See you later. See you, bye. Bye.

We should get the house tattooed on
my back. What do you think?

Good idea?

You'd better get me tattooed if
you're getting the house.

If I get you tattooed standing in
the window of the house.

And then if things don't
work out I can always tattoo

a curtain over you and then tattoo
someone else into another window.

You're such...

You're such trouble. It's funny,
it's not funny. No, it's not funny.

Hi, what do
you want to do later? I...

Stay in on or go out? I don't really
know what you mean. What you doing?

What you doing? Uh, writing.

We'll have children in here one day,
won't we? Mm-hm.

Exactly. We'll be perfect.

You know, sometimes I get the
feeling you'd rather be at home.

I don't want to tell you,
it'll spoil it. OK. Course.

What do you want to do later,
stay in or go out? What's wrong?

Mm, nothing. When you were away...
Uh-huh. I missed you so much.

Really? 2036 probably.
When's your next...hm-hm.

It's all sugar. Shall we do it?
Yeah.

Ahem, we're going to cut the...cut
the house as it were.

We're going to break the house.

And I know a lot of you have been
here over the years and it's been,

uh, great and we've had such good times,
and other people are new here.

And, you know,
we thought it'd be a good way to...

I don't know, what would you say,
celebrate?

No. Commiserate? Say goodbye. Good
way to say goodbye. Say goodbye.

So, shall we do it? Yep.

OK, I'm... You guide it though.
You know what you're doing? No.

There you go.

There's got to be something in
there. Oh, there goes the bathroom.

OK. Try a bit? Tear a bit off.

Tear a bit off. Absolutely,
a bit of wall. Fantastic.

Oh, it's delicious.

Mm, hang on, I'm going to try and...
Get into the cake bit.

I'm going to try and cut some
properly at the same time.

Who wants the bed? Yeah, the bed.

Hang on a second.

Where's that other knife?

There. Here.

There you go.

H, I can't get through it.
Anyone want a tree?

Broccoli, anyone?

Bit of broccoli. H, you do it.

Yeah, I'll have a go.

I never liked that small
room anyway.

Yeah, we should've knocked
those walls down.

Oh, my God, it looks like a squat.

I got a call from Susan Shalabi
about doing a show. Really?

Uh-huh. Yeah. Are you serious?

That's good.

Did she do the funny voice
thing she does?

We had a good chat, yes.
It was really good.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Wow.

An exhibition? Mm.

Excellent.

And you can do anything you want,
right?

Yeah, yeah.

Just left it open for... It was just
completely into what I do and...

Uh-huh. ...very open, yeah.

So, when's the exhibition
going to be?

Um, towards the end of next year.

Completely alone, no-one else?

Perfect.

So, you happy now?

Happy and scared. Yeah?

It's nothing to be scared of.
I mean, it's perfect. Yeah.

Don't you think?

Well, I was thinking of doing...

Um, you know, a mixture of
performance and drawings but

the work to be ongoing
throughout the...

the time I'm there. So,
the whole exhibition would be that?

Mm, with no end in sight. Would just
keep changing through the whole thing?

Yeah, yeah. Good idea. Every day
would be something different. Mm-hm.

And I'd, I sort of, you know,
improvise and make mistakes

and take wrong turns and it would
all be there for all to see.

Right, and normal gallery hours or
do you try and keep it open later?

No, normal, I think.

It's really good.

Did you tell her all that or
not yet? No.

Interesting. We sort of talked
around it. I said a few things,

probably a bit too much.

I don't think you can say too much.
It's fine, it's good.

You know, when someone offers you an
exhibition like that,

it's kind of commitment, you know?

That means they believe in the work
and that they want to show it

and that, um...

It's fine, you don't have to think
about anything else.

It gives you freedom to work,
in a way, maybe. Mm.

Or to think at least.

'40s STYLE DANCE MUSIC

King Was In The Counting House
by Al Bowlly

# The king was in the counting house

# The counting house

# Counting his money
Wearing an artful grin

# The queen began to plead then roar
And cried once more

# "Unlock this door!"

# The king replied, "Shan't,
I'm busy, you can't come in."

# When you were eating honey

# Then you made me wait this through

# For your housekeeping money

# You can wait
Like I had to wait for you

# The king was in the counting house

# The counting house

# So the butcher and baker
Had to take IOUs. #

The case against you is too strong.

It's not a question of whether
you'll be found guilty, but when.

I am a gentleman.

I am a gentleman's wife.

Soon to be a gentleman's widow.

In truth, I would do the same again.