All language subtitles for The Middle s02e12 The Big Chill.eng

How did I get here?
No, I didn't remarry,

and no, my kitchen appliances
did not give out at once.

I guess it all started
about a week ago

you sure you don't want
to wait for the bathroom?

Yeah. No time. I'm already late
for that school thing.

Okay, how do I look?

Okay. Wait a minute.

I think got some lipstick
smushed in the bottom of my bag.

Now?

What else you got in there?

He was right.
I looked like hell.

I knew what I had to do.

Now you might think
pretending to buy makeup

so you can use all
the free testers is dishonest,

but I prefer
the term resourceful."

You know, if you like
that lip gloss,

you're gonna love this new
eye cream we have on sale.

Have you tried it? It smoothes and tightens.
Look, let me stop you right there.

I'm in sales, too, so I know
all the tricks. Don't bother.

Okay, well, I just thought
you might like it.

Refreshes the aging areas
around the eyes

and makes you look less tired.
Less tired? Really? Mm.

Wow.

I do look less tired.

Yikes.
20 bucks for this tiny jar?

But if I look less tired,
who knows,

maybe I could save money on coffee.
I'll take it.

Oh. Oh, and do you, by chance,
have any free lipstick samples

in... this color?

The next day I was
still feeling pretty good

about treating myself.
My eyes looked bigger,

and the shape
of the toaster helped.

Axl, your backpack is crying.

Ugh! Again?

I gotta take care
of this stupid baby thing

for a week for health class.

They said they'd teach us
about sex ed.

What do babies have to do
with sex?

They ruin it. Yeah, well, there's
some computer chip that keeps track

of its mood, how much it cries
over the next week,

how well I take care of it.

It's supposed to teach me responsibility.
Okay.

I'm gonna go shoot some hoops with the guys.
Later. Whoo. Whoa. No, you're not allowed

to have a baby and then go shoot hoops.
I tried. Yeah. You're on your own.

The next time your dad and I
change a diaper,

it'll be each other's. Oh, my God.
I can't believe you won't support me.

This is, like, 80% of my grade,

and I already failed personal hygiene.
Axl, that's not our...

how do you fail
personal hygiene?

It's all politics. Mm.
Well, sorry. We're not paying the price

'cause you don't know how to work a washcloth.
Oh, nice grandparenting.

You know, this is
what's wrong with society.

Your generation is so selfish.

Enjoy this time with the baby,
before it learns to talk.

Mom, axl says
I'm the plastic baby's aunt,

and I have to change it.
Is that true?

Axl, change
your own plastic baby!

Hey, look close at me.

Does anything on my face
look smoother or tighter?

Oh, yeah, definitely.

Where am I looking?

Yeah, well, it looked better
in the toaster.

Can I try?

All right, go easy.
It wasn't cheap.

Whoa!

$200?!

Mom, you paid $200 for this?

No, no, no. $20. But you know
what? Don't tell your dad.

Unh-unh. I'm pretty sure
that says "$200."

Look at the two little zeros
there.

Are you serious?

Oh, my God!
Oh, my God.

Are you okay? Your face
is starting to look

really tight now. No!
I thought it was $20.

I didn't look
at the credit card receipt

because I was
in too much of a rush.

Okay, scoop it back in.
Scoop it back in.

Don't let it absorb.

Oh, no!
Are we gonna lose the house?

You know, a lot of the parenting
books advise against that.

Yeah, I got no choice, dad.
I'm at level seven of my game,

and I can't blow away pimps

and feed a baby
at the same time.

Yeah,
that's not going anywhere.

Quick trip to the mall.
No reason.

Don't be buying a bunch of stuff
we can't afford.

Hi. I don't know if you remember
me, but I was here yesterday.

Of course
I remember you. Hi!

How's that new eye cream
working out for you?

Do you love it?
Well, here's the thing... I don't.

I wanted to love it...
I really did...

but I used it three times

and look,
I'm not smooth or tight.

I'm... I'm sorry. We can't take it
back if it's been used.

Oh, no, no. I didn't use it.
The seal's broken.

You sold me used eye cream? Can
you call the manager, please?

No, you know what?
I'm feeling nice today,

so how about
you just refund my money,

and I won't press charges?
I'm willing to bet that's your fingerprint in there?

Okay, can I be honest with you?

So far, I'd say no.

Here's the thing...

see, I thought that was $20,
not $200!

I never would have bought it
if I thought it was $200.

I mean, $200 for that tiny jar?

That's insane!

Actually,
it's quite reasonable.

This is made from the bladr
of a mule from France.

For $200, I could've
bought that mule.

You're not getting a refund.

Fine. You know, I spend
a lot of money in this store,

but from now on, I will be
taking my business elsewhere.

Axl, give your baby a bottle.

, that's not the bottle cry.

Little brick
must've pooped himself.

Stop calling him that.

What?
You're his favorite uncle.

It's an honor to have him
named after you.

I can't take it anymore.
I have a fire drill tomorrow.

If I'm gonna keep my hands
to myself

and line up
in an orderly fashion,

I need my sleep.

Psst.
Hey, you can stay in here.

Really? You sure?
Yeah, it'll be fun.

I've always wanted
to have a roommate.

Here, you can take
this half of the bed,

and why don't you take woofy dog?

You know what?
Actually, I need woofy dog.

Hey, thanks.
Axl's baby's driving me crazy.

Even when he smothers it,
you can still hear it.

Hey, would you ladies
keep it down in here?

I finally got little brick to sleep.
I said, stop calling him that!

I have an idea.

Wanna have some fun, roomie?

Ugh! I was up all night.
I'm exhausted.

This baby never stops crying.

Can I just say, this is
my favorite homework assignment

you've ever had?

What? He likes it
when I do this.

God, when do kids
become less annoying?

I'll let you know.

Man, I hate this table.

Just tell him. There's never
gonna be a good time.

Of course, we can't afford a new one.
Damn it! That was a good time.

Hey, you want to hear a funny story?
Oh, is it something about axl and his baby?

'Cause I got one after you.
Uh, not exactly, but I think you're

gonna find this
really, really hilarious.

See, on the way to that school
thing the other night,

in, like, a moment
of extreme, extreme weakness,

I bought this eye cream.

Wow.
Yeah, you are a sucker.

What's that, a dropperful?

I know.
It's insane, right?

Pretty insane.
Well, what'd you pay for it?

How much do you think
would be a funny amount?

10 bucks.

Funnier.

$15.
Funnier.

I'm hoping it doesn't get
much funnier than $20.

$200!

What?!

It was a mistake...
a stupid, stupid mistake,

and I have no excuse. Look at
how tiny those zeros are.

And I didn't have my glasses.
But I have no excuse,

no excuse at all.

Mike?

Okay, well,

we needed that $200 for
the property taxes this month.

So... I guess I'll call Bob

and ask if he knows about any
extra shifts at little Betty.

We gotta make up
that mon somehow.

I'm really sorry, Mike. I still
wanna hear your funny axl story.

Okay, you can tell me later.

How great was that last night,
roomie?

We must've woken up
axl's baby ten times.

What?

Why does fun always have
a price?

Relax. This should be easy.

All we have to do is pull out
all the loose pieces

before applying the spackle.

Loose pieces.

They're all loose pieces!

It wasn't fair for Mike
to take on extra work

to make up
for my stupid, stupid mistake.

So I slapped on 30 bucks' worth
of useless mule bladder

and went looking
for a second job, too.

Sorry. We're looking
for someone with a specific...

Style.
Younger.

...Someone with their finger
on the pulse. Younger.

Younger.

Then after knocking
on every door,

i found the one place where
I was still considered hip...

the 1800s.

Welcome
to Orson heritage village.

My name is
Rachel moody Cochran.

In 1816,

I came by wagon train
to this very town,

where I gave birth
to all 19 of my children,

four of whom survived.

I'll be wanting another one
come spring.

Hey.
Hey.

Well, good news.
I got hired as an old wife

down at heritage village...

minimum wage and all
the fresh eggs I can carry.

Okay.

Come on, Mike.
You froze me out last night.

You froze me out this morning.
We're not rich enough

to get a divorce, so we're gonna have to have a fight.
What do you want me to say?

I don't know.
Whatever you want.

You say I was stupid,
I'll say you're right.

You say, "who the hell signs

a credit card slip
without looking at it?"

I'll say, "I know.
I thought it was 20 bucks."

"Yeah, that's not the point,
Frankie. $20 is too much to pay

"for 3 ounces of some stupid
eye cream that we don't need."

"You don't think I know that?
They got me at a weak moment.

I was tired." "Yeah, when aren't
you tired?" "Oh, that is low.

I bought it to look good
for you."

"Baloney!
You bought it for yourself."

"I said I was sorry, Mike."

"Yeah, well, 'sorry'
isn't gonna fix it."

"Stop yelling at me!"

I think I've said
all that needs to be said.

And so the deep freeze of
winter continued.

There was no sign of thaw
in sight.

The children born in autumn

were now struggling to survive
the bitter season...

Hey. Check it out.
If you hold him

up to the microwave,
the radiation makes him quiet.

Oh. Oh.
Whoa! Whoa! That can't be good. Oh, no.

While skilled carpenters
worked tirelessly

to repair
the battered homestead.

Okay, I cut the hole to fit

this piece of drywall
I found in the garage.

Now, if my measurements
are correct,

it should be perfect.

No, I told you guys.

I can't just drop everything
and go to a movie anymore.

I'm taking care of a baby.

Aw, man.

Aah! This thing is
ruining my life!

Why do I have do this?
I get it. I get it.

If a girl invites you into her bed,
there'll be consequences. Don't I know it.

Okay, I've got a screwdriver
so we can reach the piece,

honey 'cause it's sticky,

and an egg 'cause mom wants me
to eat more protein.

Great!
Give me the screwdriver.

Oh, I think I feel it.

Yeah, I think I...

Oh, no.

Sue! We have to get that back!
Axl was using it!

Can you see it?

Uh-oh. Brick, are you kidding me?
You dropped the egg?!

You dropped the screwdriver!

Screwdrivers don't smell!
They're gonna find us out!

It's a telltale egg!

It's weird, Bob. Weird.

He's never been this quiet
for this long without a game on.

You know, I'll be
runnindeliveries in the truck

with Mike tonight. I could suss
him out for you. No. No sussing.

I don't want you to make it worse.
Got it. My lips are sealed.

So, Mike, women, huh?
Am I right?

Jeez.

Like mine, for example,

always spending money
on stupid things,

like, ugh, for example...

Lip gloss.

Is that a fact?

Yeah. Makes me mad...

Or hurt...

Or another feeling
I don't like to share.

Bob. But you know us men...
strong and silent types...

sometimes too silent...

And sometimes
not silent enough.

You know, Bob,
I got a problem, too.

I sometimes butt
into people's business

and then I find myself
on the side of the road,

watching the little Betty uck
I was just in,

as it drives away. You're not talking
about yourself, are you, Mike?

No, Bob, I'm not.

Why you slowing down?

I can smell it.

You can't smell it.

It gs worse every hour.

Why an egg for a snack, brick?

Were there no dead fish
in the fridge?

Look, there's nothing we can do.
Let's just go tell mom and dad.

No! I am not going down
for this!

Yes.

What are you doing?

I am getting
that stinking thing out!

How comes the butter, wife?

I've been churning
for three hours,

and I still don't have enough
for a baked potato.

Hark! Hear I church bells
from the town square?

Hello?

Frankie.
Mike, hi.

What is this demon device
you hold to your ear?

Cast it into ye hearth.
Sorry.

I-I just need
a second. It's my husband.

Are you speaking
in tongues, woman?

For I am your husband.
Did you talk about our business with Bob?

What? No. Of course not.

I paid three head of cattle
for you...

a fine price
for a sturdy bride.

Then how come Bob's
talking to me about our life?

I don't like talking
about my life with Bob.

Well, I-I may have mentioned
that you were upset

about the $200 eye cream.
$200?! Why that is

the size of
the entire state treasury!

Just give it a rest, obadiah!

In the name of God,
just raze a barn, plow a field,

chill out for half a second.
We have one visitor.

She knows we're not
in the 1800s.

You know we're not really
in the 1800s, right?

You're cool with me
taking this call? Thank you.

Mike, I
think the important thing is,

is that we're talking.
Mike? Mike?

I have a question.

What kind of eye cream
costs $200?

I thought it was $20!

Oh! The egg's gotta be here!

It's gotta be in one of them!

Sue, it's over.

It can't be over.

How did this whole thing
go so wrong?

I just wanted a roommate.
I thought we were

gonna have fun together.
I had fun.

Really? Really.
Just by not sitting on my head,

you're a way better roommate than axl.
Thanks, brick.

The egg!

We did it! We did it!
Now all we have to do is patch up these holes,

and then we're home free!
We still need to find the screwdriver.

Oh, there it is.

Mom! Help.

I took my baby apart, and now
it won't fit back together.

Now I'll never get
a good grade on this.

This is "d" work, at best.
Yeah, well, maybe if you used some of that energy

you spent not taking care
of the baby

to actually take care
of the baby,

you wouldn't be in this mess.
I've tried taking care of him.

I just can't find the stupid screwdriver!
Quit whining, go find one, and fix it.

And by the way, it's a girl.

If you'd changed the diaper even
once, you would know that.

What you doing?

What does it look like I'm doin?

I'm rocking a piece of our grandchild.
Hey, listen, uh, sorry I hung up,

but, uh, Bob got back on the
truck... you know, Mike, whatever.

I've been trying
to talk to you all week,

and you just froze me out,
and now I'm just too tired.

I am selling cars,
I'm dyeing wool,

obadiah wants me to take a job
as a schoolteacher,

because there's a drought,

and the corn
isn't gonna save us this year.

Even in my second job,
I have to get another job!

I have two lives in two
centuries, and they both suck.

Would you rock the head?

What?

I'm trying to stop this.
I can't find the sensor.

I'm rocking the torso.
Please just rock the head.

I mean, I thought
that if I got a second job,

you would see how sorry I was
and you would forgive me.

But no, I make a mistake,
and it doesn't matter

what I say or what I do,

you want to stay mad, so go ahead and stay mad at me!
I'm not mad you made a mistake.

I'm mad because we can't
afford to make a mistake.

What?
You think I like it

that 200 bucks sends us
over the edge?

Or that at this point
in our lives,

we gotta have four jobs
just to stay poor?

It does suck when you say it like that.
I mean, damn it, we should have some kind of cushion

so we can make a mistake
every once in a while

or at least fix
the kitchen table.

Didn't we have plans for this
place? Instead, here we are,

with the same crappy carpet
and the busted garbage disposal.

The only room
we've redone is Sue's.

Oh, there it goes again.

Oh, keep walking.
My half likes the walking.

I guess I just hoped
we'd be farther along at this point.

That's all.

Hmm. Remember when we used to
do this with axl?

Oh.

Back then, we had
to go through the couch

to find 5 bucks for diapers.

Used to take us 5 bucks
to send us over the edge.

But now it takes $200.
That's progress.

How the
hell did we make it through?

I don't know.
A lot of tv and denial. Mm.

We'll make it
through this, too.

Oh, I think
the head's asleep.

Oh, the body, too.

They are so cute when they're sleeping.
Aren't they?

So we were talking
again, and I knew we'd be okay.

Hell, if obadiah and Rachel
made it through all their crap,

Mike and I oughta have
a cakewalk.

Just like the pioneers,

we have to make the best
of our situation...

Now my baby may not look like
everyone else's,

but isn't that what makes
America great?

That we can love people
of all shapes and sizes?

This is the kind of country
that I wanna live in.

We fill the holes
however we can,

and faced with a job
we just can't stand,

we find a way
to make it work for us.

Ye sure ye still got the pox?

Oh, yeah, big-time.
I don't think I'm gonna be up

and ready to churn for at least
another couple of days.

Hey, could you be a peach

and pump me
another cup of water?

For all the other day-to-day
stuff that drives us nuts,

solutions can turn up
in surprising places.

You just gotta be resourceful.

Oh!
Here's the test. Ready?

Whoo!
Whoo! Good job!

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