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♪ There's a woman in my life
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♪ Who doesn't care for a thing
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♪ She don't wanna go out dancing
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♪ She just loves to stay in
5
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♪ She just cares about good loving
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♪ Never leaves me alone
7
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♪ If I'm not prepared for action
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♪ She goes out on her own
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♪ The woman is love crazy
10
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♪ She's loving all night
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♪ The woman is love crazy
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♪ Won't stop for a bite
13
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♪ The woman is love crazy
14
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♪ She's out on her own
15
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♪ Sometimes I work so hard
16
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♪ I wish she'd leave me alone
17
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♪ The woman is love crazy
18
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♪ She's loving all night
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♪ The woman is love crazy
20
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♪ Won't stop for a bite
21
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♪ The woman is love crazy
22
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♪ She's out on her own
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♪ Sometimes it gets so hard
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♪ I just don't wanna go home
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♪ lf the feeling ever takes her
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♪ She don't care where we are
27
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♪ It's good loving in the disco
28
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♪ It's good loving in the car
29
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Madam...champagne?
30
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Or is there anything madam would?
31
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Steward?
32
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Steward?
33
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Are you coming?
34
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Oh, dear!
35
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Oh, dear!
36
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♪ I wish the woman liked dancing
37
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♪ I wish she played the guitar
38
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♪ I'd like to teach her a new game
39
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♪ I feel a bit under par
40
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♪ I wish she played the piano
41
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♪ Before my knees hit the floor
42
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♪ I've got to get her to slow down
43
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♪ I think I've had it for sure
44
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♪ The woman is love crazy
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♪ She's loving all night
46
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♪ The woman is love crazy
47
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♪ Won't stop for a bite
48
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♪ The woman is love crazy
49
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♪ She's out on her own
50
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♪ Sometimes I work so hard
51
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♪ I wish she'd leave it all alone
52
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♪ The woman is love crazy
53
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♪ She's loving all night
54
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♪ The woman is love crazy
55
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♪ Won't stop for a bite
56
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♪ The woman is love crazy
57
00:03:01,195 --> 00:03:04,073
♪ She's out on her own
58
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♪ Sometimes it gets so hard
59
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♪ I just don't wanna go home
60
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♪ The woman is love crazy
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♪ She's loving all night
62
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♪ The woman is love crazy
63
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♪ Won't stop for a bite
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♪ The woman is love crazy
65
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♪ She's out on her own
66
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♪ Sometimes I work so hard
67
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♪ I wish she'd leave me alone
68
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Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry.
I thought it was vacant.
69
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Oh, my God!
70
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I think I'd better go.
71
00:03:38,112 --> 00:03:41,990
Um, how do you do? How do you do?
Yes. My name's er...
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Theodore Valentine.
73
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You know, when the flight's over,
74
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you must come and have tea with me.
75
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You'd love Mother.
76
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She'd...she'd love you.
77
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She...she's very...
78
00:03:57,030 --> 00:03:59,021
Mother makes me wear them. The weather...
79
00:04:00,070 --> 00:04:01,025
Ooh!
80
00:04:01,070 --> 00:04:03,139
My glasses! Where...
81
00:04:07,988 --> 00:04:09,024
Oh, crikey!
82
00:04:14,108 --> 00:04:16,144
Mummy! Ooh!
83
00:04:38,986 --> 00:04:42,022
What is the purpose
of your visit to the United Kingdom?
84
00:04:42,065 --> 00:04:45,182
I beg your pardon?
I'm still deaf from the flying.
85
00:04:45,225 --> 00:04:49,184
We are having to be very careful
who we are letting into this country, you know.
86
00:04:49,225 --> 00:04:51,022
How did you get in?
87
00:04:51,065 --> 00:04:55,137
- Oh, blimey! I'm totally British.
- May I have the question again, please?
88
00:04:55,184 --> 00:04:59,222
What is the purpose
of your visit to the United Kingdom?
89
00:05:00,024 --> 00:05:02,218
To make ze friends, with ze British.
90
00:05:02,983 --> 00:05:05,133
Is the purpose of your visit
business or pleasure?
91
00:05:05,223 --> 00:05:07,133
Pleasure, definitely.
92
00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:09,981
Ah, then you are here as a tourist?
93
00:05:10,023 --> 00:05:13,219
I'm being reunited with my husband
after a long separation.
94
00:05:13,222 --> 00:05:17,180
Where is your husband now?
95
00:05:17,981 --> 00:05:19,209
He's probably in the bath.
96
00:05:20,021 --> 00:05:22,216
No, no. I mean,
is he already in the United Kingdom?
97
00:05:23,021 --> 00:05:25,057
Oh, yes. For a long time.
98
00:05:25,101 --> 00:05:28,137
- And how long do you intend to stay?
- With my husband?
99
00:05:28,180 --> 00:05:32,093
No, in our United Kingdom?
100
00:05:33,220 --> 00:05:36,098
Does it matter? I am an EEC citizen.
101
00:05:36,140 --> 00:05:38,209
What are you going to be doing here?
102
00:05:39,019 --> 00:05:40,168
A little bit of this,
103
00:05:40,179 --> 00:05:43,012
and a little bit of that.
104
00:05:43,059 --> 00:05:45,971
Oh, please. You must not be doing that.
105
00:05:46,019 --> 00:05:48,088
You are giving me naughty thoughts.
106
00:05:48,138 --> 00:05:49,970
Good.
107
00:05:50,019 --> 00:05:51,975
Er, will you be seeking employment?
108
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:54,168
- I hope not.
- What is your husband's occupation?
109
00:05:54,218 --> 00:05:56,049
I am.
110
00:05:56,098 --> 00:05:59,134
Oh, dearie me! How does he earn his living?
111
00:05:59,177 --> 00:06:02,089
Ah, oui! In the service of his country.
112
00:06:02,137 --> 00:06:04,173
Could you be more explicit, please?
113
00:06:04,217 --> 00:06:06,208
Oh, oui, monsieur.
114
00:06:06,217 --> 00:06:08,969
I can be very explicit.
115
00:06:09,016 --> 00:06:11,008
About your husband.
116
00:06:11,057 --> 00:06:13,172
He is a very...
117
00:06:13,216 --> 00:06:14,968
How you say?
118
00:06:15,016 --> 00:06:16,051
...high-up man.
119
00:06:17,096 --> 00:06:18,130
Is he important?
120
00:06:18,175 --> 00:06:20,052
Not impotent.
121
00:06:21,055 --> 00:06:23,967
He has...other interests.
122
00:06:24,015 --> 00:06:25,130
What is his position?
123
00:06:25,175 --> 00:06:27,006
It varies.
124
00:06:27,015 --> 00:06:29,973
What is his profession or calling, please?
125
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He is ambassador.
126
00:06:35,174 --> 00:06:39,086
Oh, yes. I am definitely developing.
127
00:06:39,093 --> 00:06:41,163
My ribs are rippling.
128
00:06:41,973 --> 00:06:45,010
My pectorals are positively pumping.
129
00:06:45,093 --> 00:06:47,209
And my thorax is throbbing.
130
00:06:51,133 --> 00:06:53,202
I must get some stronger elastic.
131
00:07:24,128 --> 00:07:26,198
- Can I help you?
- I am your mistress.
132
00:07:26,208 --> 00:07:29,041
Oh, my God!
133
00:07:31,129 --> 00:07:34,120
I knew she'd catch up with me one day.
It's my own fault.
134
00:07:34,168 --> 00:07:36,204
Wait a minute. What am I talking about?
135
00:07:37,208 --> 00:07:39,163
I haven't got a mistress.
136
00:07:42,167 --> 00:07:44,122
I don't have a mistress.
137
00:07:44,166 --> 00:07:47,158
- You have now.
- I repeat, how can I help you?
138
00:07:47,206 --> 00:07:51,200
Well, to begin with,
you can tell the ambassador that his wife is here.
139
00:07:53,047 --> 00:07:54,001
Where?
140
00:07:54,046 --> 00:07:55,957
Here. I am here.
141
00:07:56,006 --> 00:07:57,200
Are you sure?
142
00:07:57,966 --> 00:07:59,159
I'm positive I'm sure.
143
00:07:59,205 --> 00:08:01,161
I didn't know the ambassador had a wife.
144
00:08:01,205 --> 00:08:04,002
Now you know.
145
00:08:05,044 --> 00:08:06,113
Madam.
146
00:08:10,004 --> 00:08:13,122
Emmannuelle! Oh, what a wonderful surprise!
147
00:08:13,205 --> 00:08:15,160
I was not expecting you today.
148
00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:18,196
Otherwise I would have been at the airport
to meet you.
149
00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:25,121
You must forgive my masculine odour.
I have been pumping iron.
150
00:08:25,202 --> 00:08:26,157
What is that?
151
00:08:26,202 --> 00:08:28,158
Er, weightlifting.
152
00:08:28,162 --> 00:08:31,155
Still the same...athletic Emile.
153
00:08:31,203 --> 00:08:38,960
A flabby ambassador with a derriere in pleats
is no advertisement for his country. But you...
154
00:08:39,001 --> 00:08:40,957
You, you haven't changed.
155
00:08:41,001 --> 00:08:42,992
I flew Concorde to surprise you.
156
00:08:43,041 --> 00:08:44,996
Ah, la belle Concorde!
157
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:49,191
Howl love that long nose.
So phallic. So Francophallic.
158
00:08:49,959 --> 00:08:51,189
Ah, that reminds me.
159
00:08:52,001 --> 00:08:55,037
You have not met my wonderful
English butler- Loins.
160
00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,071
Loins, this is my wife Emmannuelle.
161
00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,156
She has been traveling all around the world
and other places.
162
00:09:00,199 --> 00:09:02,076
Chérie, Loins.
163
00:09:02,119 --> 00:09:06,111
His Excellency meant Lyons, madam.
My name is Lyons.
164
00:09:09,077 --> 00:09:11,068
I prefer Loins.
165
00:09:11,077 --> 00:09:13,115
Likewise, madam.
166
00:09:14,198 --> 00:09:16,075
May I take your coat?
167
00:09:18,997 --> 00:09:20,953
Come. Now I'm going to show you
168
00:09:20,997 --> 00:09:23,067
all over the houses.
169
00:09:24,116 --> 00:09:27,074
Emmannuelle, you're naked!
170
00:09:27,116 --> 00:09:30,073
Sacré bleu! I forgot I wasn't wearing a dress.
171
00:09:40,995 --> 00:09:44,066
- You're a naughty butler, Loins.
- Yeah...hm-hm.
172
00:09:44,114 --> 00:09:46,070
Yes, madam.
173
00:09:46,074 --> 00:09:49,031
Yes, I think that is more appropriate
174
00:09:49,073 --> 00:09:50,984
for the wife of an ambassador.
175
00:09:51,033 --> 00:09:52,990
Phwoar!
176
00:09:56,074 --> 00:09:59,110
- Who was that, Lyons?
- That, Mrs Dangle, is the new mistress.
177
00:10:00,113 --> 00:10:02,104
Oh, fancy!
178
00:10:02,153 --> 00:10:04,188
Things might start looking up.
179
00:10:04,992 --> 00:10:06,141
I shouldn't be at all surprised.
180
00:10:06,192 --> 00:10:08,990
Hey, who was that?
181
00:10:09,032 --> 00:10:12,024
Richmond, that was the new mistress.
182
00:10:12,032 --> 00:10:14,147
Fancy that! Things ought to start looking up.
183
00:10:25,110 --> 00:10:27,066
I have missed you, Emile.
184
00:10:27,110 --> 00:10:29,987
And I you, my love.
185
00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:34,978
But don't forget our little arrangement still
stands. As long as you don't object
186
00:10:35,029 --> 00:10:39,148
to my body building, I don't object
to you finding your pleasures elsewhere.
187
00:10:41,069 --> 00:10:44,186
And...what if I should seek
my pleasures with you?
188
00:10:44,988 --> 00:10:47,058
Oh, no. I can't spare a drop of adrenaline.
189
00:10:47,068 --> 00:10:49,184
You must think of me as a last resort.
190
00:10:49,947 --> 00:10:53,099
- Don't you want me just a little bit?
- Yes, just a little bit.
191
00:10:53,148 --> 00:10:55,945
Show me how good you are at weightlifting.
192
00:10:56,027 --> 00:11:00,020
Lift me over your shoulders
and carry me over to the bed.
193
00:11:00,067 --> 00:11:01,102
Are you mad?
194
00:11:01,147 --> 00:11:04,105
I've not yet learnt
how to do a snatch and press.
195
00:11:04,147 --> 00:11:09,015
Besides, I have a meeting
with the Foreign Minister shortly.
196
00:11:09,066 --> 00:11:11,977
And I have a meeting with the ambassador now.
197
00:11:11,985 --> 00:11:13,942
I have an appointment.
198
00:11:14,026 --> 00:11:17,062
We haven't made love since Paris,
before you were posted here.
199
00:11:17,105 --> 00:11:21,018
- Oh, surely it's not that long.
- It's long enough.
200
00:11:21,065 --> 00:11:21,975
Ooh!
201
00:11:22,025 --> 00:11:24,936
Come, bury your head in my bosom.
202
00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:27,054
No, no. I should have to keep coming up for air.
203
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:31,015
I am in the mood for playing games.
204
00:11:31,063 --> 00:11:33,134
- Try badminton, hockey, bowls.
- Bowls?
205
00:11:33,184 --> 00:11:37,096
Yes, bowls. The English are mad about bowls.
Tennis bowl, volley-bowl.
206
00:11:37,143 --> 00:11:38,975
Foot-bowl. All kinds of b...
207
00:11:40,103 --> 00:11:43,015
Excuse me, sir. I hope I'm not intruding.
208
00:11:43,063 --> 00:11:47,977
- No, no, no. We were just discussing bowls.
- Bowls?
209
00:11:48,022 --> 00:11:51,013
I was having a work-up.
I mean I was getting worked out.
210
00:11:51,061 --> 00:11:52,176
Having a work-out.
211
00:11:52,982 --> 00:11:56,178
Yes. Will there be only fourteen guests
for dinner this evening, sir?
212
00:11:56,981 --> 00:11:59,051
Fourteen, yes. That is correct.
213
00:11:59,061 --> 00:12:01,052
Then I shall inform Mrs Dangle.
214
00:12:02,101 --> 00:12:04,978
Come and lie with me, Emile.
215
00:12:05,020 --> 00:12:07,978
No, I must finish my exercises.
216
00:12:10,059 --> 00:12:12,938
- I can give you much nicer exercises.
- No.
217
00:12:17,139 --> 00:12:20,175
- I am all hot for you.
- Well, have a cold shower.
218
00:12:20,178 --> 00:12:23,091
That's what you said last time
and look what happened.
219
00:12:23,139 --> 00:12:26,016
Oh, yes. I couldn't find the stopcock.
220
00:12:27,098 --> 00:12:29,134
- Caught you.
- Oh, it's you!
221
00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:33,976
It is not nice to peep through keyholes.
222
00:12:34,018 --> 00:12:34,973
Sorry.
223
00:12:36,977 --> 00:12:39,047
You are very rude.
224
00:12:39,137 --> 00:12:43,972
Gordon Bennett!
They're having a phonographic orgy.
225
00:12:43,977 --> 00:12:45,126
- Lift up your arms.
- What for?
226
00:12:45,177 --> 00:12:48,964
- Up, up, up.
- But I don't understand. Why should I lift]?
227
00:12:49,016 --> 00:12:51,051
There. That didn't hurt, did it?
228
00:12:51,095 --> 00:12:53,974
- No, no, no.
- Don't be shy, chéri.
229
00:12:54,016 --> 00:12:56,131
I'm not shy, I'm circumspect.
230
00:12:56,175 --> 00:12:59,053
Come on. Don't make a meal of it. It's my turn.
231
00:13:00,095 --> 00:13:03,053
- But you are trembling.
- Yes, of course, I'm cold.
232
00:13:03,095 --> 00:13:04,084
I'll warm you up.
233
00:13:04,095 --> 00:13:07,086
Oh, but why me?
You can have Tom, Dick or Harry.
234
00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:10,012
- I don't want Tom or Harry.
- Oh!
235
00:13:10,054 --> 00:13:12,089
She's got him in a leg lock.
236
00:13:13,134 --> 00:13:16,011
Well, I used to do that when Henry was alive.
237
00:13:16,053 --> 00:13:18,044
I'm sure you didn't do it after he was dead.
238
00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:22,964
- Here, what's he doing?
- Heavy breathing.
239
00:13:23,012 --> 00:13:24,002
Ooh!
240
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:27,089
Oh, Richmond,
I think you should have a look at this.
241
00:13:27,132 --> 00:13:31,010
- Do you think he ought to at his age?
- It might jog his memory.
242
00:13:31,051 --> 00:13:34,089
- Here, what am I going to see?
- Well, it won't be the Muppet Show.
243
00:13:35,092 --> 00:13:37,047
Is it...is it Starsky And Hutch?
244
00:13:37,131 --> 00:13:40,123
If you ask me, it's more like Starkers And Crutch.
245
00:13:51,089 --> 00:13:54,048
Hello, hello, hello. What's all this, then?
246
00:13:54,090 --> 00:13:57,126
- It's what the butler saw.
- Here. They're at it.
247
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,124
At what?
248
00:14:00,049 --> 00:14:01,959
Here, hold my hat. Come on. Get off!
249
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:05,920
- Turn over!
- No, no, I don't like.
250
00:14:05,968 --> 00:14:09,005
- Emile, I am a woman.
- Yes, so I've noticed.
251
00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:11,083
I am your wife. You should not hide from me.
252
00:14:11,127 --> 00:14:13,118
There's not much to hide.
253
00:14:13,167 --> 00:14:16,045
Snow White meets the incredible shrinking man!
254
00:14:17,967 --> 00:14:22,005
I will make you love me if it's the last thing I do.
255
00:14:22,046 --> 00:14:23,035
Ram!
256
00:14:24,926 --> 00:14:27,156
I think she's knackered him.
Come on. Back on the job.
257
00:14:27,966 --> 00:14:28,955
Get off!
258
00:14:29,006 --> 00:14:30,997
- What is the matter?
- You've broken it.
259
00:14:31,046 --> 00:14:33,036
Oh lé lé! Turn over and let me have a look.
260
00:14:33,085 --> 00:14:36,998
No, no, not that. My back. I can't move.
261
00:14:37,005 --> 00:14:40,122
- It's probably just cramp.
- No, no. I'm in agony.
262
00:14:40,165 --> 00:14:42,120
Straighten your legs.
263
00:14:42,164 --> 00:14:45,918
I can't straighten anything. I'm completely bent.
264
00:14:45,964 --> 00:14:48,922
- Bend back your toes.
- I caaan't... Oh!
265
00:14:48,964 --> 00:14:51,000
- Don't panic.
- I can't panic, either.
266
00:14:51,044 --> 00:14:51,998
Just lie still.
267
00:14:52,043 --> 00:14:54,922
What else do you think I'm doing,
you stupid fool?
268
00:14:54,964 --> 00:14:58,000
I give up. I'm going to get changed
and I'm going out.
269
00:14:58,043 --> 00:15:01,001
- What for?
- I want Leyland to drive me around London.
270
00:15:01,043 --> 00:15:02,111
But what about me?
271
00:15:02,922 --> 00:15:06,119
Don't worry, my dear.
I'm sure you'll soon be feeling yourself again.
272
00:15:19,161 --> 00:15:21,117
Is that you, Theodore?
273
00:15:21,161 --> 00:15:24,038
Who were you expecting? General Amin?
274
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:27,151
- I've warmed your slippers. They're in the oven.
- Thank you.
275
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:33,957
Warmed them? You've roasted them.
276
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:36,957
Oh, Mother, I do wish
you wouldn't fuss over me so.
277
00:15:36,999 --> 00:15:40,912
It's no trouble at all. I do it for your arthritis.
278
00:15:40,959 --> 00:15:43,074
- I've never had arthritis.
- There you are. It works.
279
00:15:43,118 --> 00:15:46,110
Have you had your vitamin C tablet
this morning?
280
00:15:46,158 --> 00:15:47,112
Yes, Mother.
281
00:15:47,157 --> 00:15:49,148
And your vitamin B tablet?
282
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:52,069
- Yes, Mother.
- And your halibut oil capsule?
283
00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:55,906
Yes. I've had so many pills,
I'll soon need a stomach pump.
284
00:15:55,958 --> 00:15:58,027
Prevention is better than cure.
285
00:15:58,077 --> 00:16:01,955
Dr Jones said to me, "Mrs Valentine,
286
00:16:01,996 --> 00:16:05,068
your son Theodore is very delicate."
287
00:16:05,116 --> 00:16:08,073
With respect, Mother,
when he said it, I was six months old.
288
00:16:08,115 --> 00:16:10,948
He's a very clever doctor, Dr Jones.
289
00:16:10,955 --> 00:16:14,027
If you were at death's door,
he'd pull you through.
290
00:16:14,075 --> 00:16:16,032
That's what I'm afraid of.
291
00:16:17,115 --> 00:16:20,073
Theodore, you're sickening for something.
292
00:16:21,994 --> 00:16:25,031
Mother, come and sit down. I want to talk to you.
293
00:16:25,034 --> 00:16:25,989
Very well.
294
00:16:28,953 --> 00:16:31,945
Now then, what shall we talk about?
295
00:16:31,993 --> 00:16:35,953
Mother, I've met someone that's very dear to me.
296
00:16:35,994 --> 00:16:37,904
Was it your Auntie Hilda, dear?
297
00:16:37,993 --> 00:16:41,030
No, Mother. I've met this girl.
298
00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:42,988
This wonderful girl.
299
00:16:43,072 --> 00:16:45,028
Don't be silly. There's no such thing.
300
00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:46,107
I think I'm in love.
301
00:16:46,152 --> 00:16:48,949
Oh, nonsense! You're far too young.
302
00:16:48,991 --> 00:16:51,027
I'm thirty-four, and a half.
303
00:16:51,071 --> 00:16:53,106
But you've got your whole life in front of you.
304
00:16:53,110 --> 00:16:56,900
You don't want to fritter it away
on some slip of a girl.
305
00:16:56,992 --> 00:17:01,064
But, Mother, she's exquisite.
I know you'd like her.
306
00:17:01,071 --> 00:17:03,903
I wouldn't count on it, dear.
307
00:17:03,950 --> 00:17:08,147
- I'm going to marry her.
- Nonsense. I'll never give you my permission.
308
00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:11,947
I don't need your permission, Mother.
309
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:13,103
You're just like your father.
310
00:17:13,148 --> 00:17:17,939
He went off with some slip of a girl
and he never got my permission, either.
311
00:17:44,066 --> 00:17:46,102
This your first time in London, is it?
312
00:17:46,146 --> 00:17:48,101
Well, keep your ears peeled,
313
00:17:48,905 --> 00:17:52,022
cos little old Leyland here's
gonna give you the grand tour.
314
00:17:52,065 --> 00:17:55,978
And why not? After all, I've lived here all my life,
315
00:17:56,065 --> 00:17:58,021
even before I was born.
316
00:17:58,065 --> 00:18:00,898
And believe me, no-one knows better than I do
317
00:18:00,945 --> 00:18:02,935
this is the greatest city in the world.
318
00:18:03,984 --> 00:18:07,101
If you're feeling lonely,
why don'! you come up here, eh?
319
00:18:07,903 --> 00:18:10,975
No? Oh, well. It ain't compulsory.
320
00:18:13,102 --> 00:18:15,901
Now up here you see is Oxford Street.
321
00:18:23,062 --> 00:18:26,054
That's where the tourists come
to do their shoplifting.
322
00:18:27,102 --> 00:18:31,060
Oh, God! Laugh-a-minute Leyland,
they call me, up the morgue.
323
00:18:31,101 --> 00:18:34,058
Look, love.
You can see a lot better from up here.
324
00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:35,055
Eh?
325
00:18:38,060 --> 00:18:42,100
Ah, well, perhaps I should put it on
automatic pilot and come back there with you.
326
00:18:42,141 --> 00:18:45,974
Cos I'm driving you now, you know,
in a Daimler pervertible.
327
00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:49,971
The hood doesn't go down,
but the chauffeur does.
328
00:18:56,139 --> 00:19:00,974
Well, we're heading
for Downing Street now, No.10.
329
00:19:01,019 --> 00:19:03,089
You've heard of that, eh?
330
00:19:03,898 --> 00:19:08,096
Cos not many people know that No.12 Downing
Street is the office of the government whips.
331
00:19:09,937 --> 00:19:12,053
If you like that son of thing.
332
00:19:12,097 --> 00:19:15,008
I'm feeling very hot.
333
00:19:15,056 --> 00:19:17,969
Yeah. I'm getting a bit warm myself.
334
00:19:18,976 --> 00:19:23,891
Ah, now there's a sight to warm the cookies -
Trafalgar Square.
335
00:19:23,936 --> 00:19:26,086
And there it is, an inspiration to mankind.
336
00:19:27,936 --> 00:19:29,004
Nelson's Column.
337
00:19:31,975 --> 00:19:34,124
Lady Hamilton had it built to remember him by.
338
00:19:34,894 --> 00:19:36,965
Mind you, with a column like that,
339
00:19:37,055 --> 00:19:39,045
how could she forget him?
340
00:19:51,093 --> 00:19:53,890
It never fails.
341
00:19:53,932 --> 00:19:55,923
Next time round, I think I'll start here.
342
00:19:55,972 --> 00:19:57,088
Thank you, Lady Hamilton.
343
00:20:00,092 --> 00:20:02,971
I want to see the guards getting changed.
344
00:20:33,968 --> 00:20:37,086
They are very...sexy, these guards.
345
00:20:37,089 --> 00:20:40,080
When they get a butcher's at you,
you'd better be on guard.
346
00:20:44,007 --> 00:20:48,001
What is the matter with them?
They never even looked at me.
347
00:20:48,048 --> 00:20:51,039
Well, they're not allowed to, not on duty.
348
00:20:51,087 --> 00:20:53,965
You could strip off in front of one of them guards,
349
00:20:54,006 --> 00:20:56,919
and he wouldn't bat an eyelid.
350
00:20:56,927 --> 00:20:58,883
We shall see about that.
351
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,917
Drive me to St James's Palace, Leyland.
352
00:21:02,966 --> 00:21:05,035
♪ The woman is love crazy
353
00:21:05,085 --> 00:21:06,963
♪ She's loving all night
354
00:21:07,006 --> 00:21:09,076
♪ The woman is love crazy
355
00:21:09,125 --> 00:21:11,002
♪ Won't stop for a bite
356
00:21:11,045 --> 00:21:13,081
♪ The woman is love crazy
357
00:21:13,125 --> 00:21:15,035
♪ She's out on her own
358
00:21:15,084 --> 00:21:16,962
♪ Sometimes I work so hard
359
00:21:17,045 --> 00:21:19,081
♪ I wish she'd leave me alone
360
00:21:19,085 --> 00:21:21,120
♪ The woman is love crazy
361
00:21:21,924 --> 00:21:23,118
♪ She's loving all night
362
00:21:23,124 --> 00:21:25,921
♪ The woman is love crazy
363
00:21:25,963 --> 00:21:27,079
♪ Won't stop for a bite
364
00:21:27,124 --> 00:21:29,876
♪ The woman is love crazy
365
00:21:29,963 --> 00:21:31,919
♪ She's out on her own
366
00:21:31,963 --> 00:21:35,921
♪ Sometimes it gets so hard
I just don't want to go home
367
00:21:35,922 --> 00:21:37,038
♪ lf the feeling ever takes her
368
00:21:37,083 --> 00:21:39,915
♪ She don't care where we are
369
00:21:39,962 --> 00:21:41,077
♪ It's good loving in the disco
370
00:21:41,122 --> 00:21:43,955
♪ It's good loving in the car
371
00:21:44,002 --> 00:21:45,912
♪ But if I don't keep her happy
372
00:21:45,961 --> 00:21:47,030
♪ She would leave me, she would
373
00:21:47,081 --> 00:21:49,073
♪ So I got to hang on in there
374
00:21:49,082 --> 00:21:50,992
♪ Hang on in there, hang on in there
375
00:21:51,081 --> 00:21:54,073
♪ The woman is love crazy
376
00:21:54,081 --> 00:21:56,036
♪ She's loving all night
377
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,037
♪ The woman is love crazy
378
00:21:58,081 --> 00:21:59,991
♪ Won't stop for a bite
379
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,076
♪ The woman is love crazy
380
00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:04,076
♪ She's out on her own
381
00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:06,075
♪ Sometimes I work so hard
382
00:22:06,079 --> 00:22:08,035
♪ I wish she'd leave it all alone
383
00:22:08,079 --> 00:22:10,035
♪ The woman is love crazy
384
00:22:10,079 --> 00:22:12,877
♪ She's loving all night
385
00:22:12,919 --> 00:22:14,874
♪ The woman is love crazy
386
00:22:14,918 --> 00:22:17,034
♪ Won't stop for a bite
387
00:22:17,078 --> 00:22:19,956
♪ The woman is love crazy
she's out on her own
388
00:22:32,917 --> 00:22:33,906
Hello there, ducky.
389
00:22:45,075 --> 00:22:49,865
Emmannuelle! I hope you're going
to wear something under that dress.
390
00:22:49,914 --> 00:22:51,871
Oh, yes. Chanel N°5.
391
00:22:51,915 --> 00:22:56,032
No, no! Tonight you must be respectable.
You must be on your best behaviour.
392
00:22:56,074 --> 00:23:00,989
Everything you say and do
will reflect on our beloved Republic.
393
00:23:01,074 --> 00:23:04,032
But this is the latest from Paris. It shows style.
394
00:23:04,074 --> 00:23:08,032
It shows more than that. it shows
everything you've got. Well, almost.
395
00:23:08,033 --> 00:23:10,024
- Why's that so terrible?
- It's not nice!
396
00:23:10,072 --> 00:23:14,908
How would you like it if men were to walk about
in see-through trousers?
397
00:23:14,953 --> 00:23:16,908
I would like this very much.
398
00:23:16,952 --> 00:23:18,909
There is nothing wrong with the body.
399
00:23:18,953 --> 00:23:21,864
There is no need to flash it all over the place.
400
00:23:21,952 --> 00:23:25,024
I think we should all go round naked.
We'd all be much healthier.
401
00:23:25,072 --> 00:23:28,063
- We'd all be in bed with the flu.
- Nudity is perfectly natural.
402
00:23:28,111 --> 00:23:31,022
No, no. Even Adam and Eve had a fig leaf.
403
00:23:31,070 --> 00:23:33,869
You must dress in a way that is befitting
404
00:23:33,911 --> 00:23:35,946
for the wife of an ambassador.
405
00:23:35,990 --> 00:23:38,983
Especially in view of our distinguished guests -
406
00:23:39,071 --> 00:23:41,903
the Prime Minister,
407
00:23:42,990 --> 00:23:46,026
the Metropolitan Commissioner of Police,
408
00:23:46,109 --> 00:23:50,898
the ambassador
for the United States of America,
409
00:23:50,908 --> 00:23:51,863
Excuse me.
410
00:23:51,908 --> 00:23:54,867
Field Marshal Hune, Chief of Staff,
411
00:23:56,028 --> 00:23:58,065
the Arabian ambassador.
412
00:23:59,949 --> 00:24:04,976
The Lord Chief Justice of the Appeals Court
and Master of the Rolls,
413
00:24:05,068 --> 00:24:07,979
Admiral Sir John Hardiner,
414
00:24:08,027 --> 00:24:11,018
not to mention all their distinguished wives.
415
00:24:11,026 --> 00:24:14,861
- How do you do?
- Not very often, I'm afraid.
416
00:24:15,906 --> 00:24:17,862
Too much bench, not enough wench.
417
00:24:18,907 --> 00:24:23,980
I will say my wife is a better diplomat than I am.
418
00:24:24,026 --> 00:24:27,859
Yes, I have it off with everybody.
419
00:24:29,945 --> 00:24:31,855
Hit Hit it off.
420
00:24:31,904 --> 00:24:34,862
She means
she hit it off with everybody.
421
00:24:34,904 --> 00:24:38,021
Ah, yes. And what were you doing
in the Far East, my dear?
422
00:24:38,064 --> 00:24:41,056
Oh, nothing much. Sleeping around, mostly.
423
00:24:41,104 --> 00:24:47,053
Er...she means sleeping around
in many pans of the world.
424
00:24:49,943 --> 00:24:51,057
Has it ever occurred to you
425
00:24:51,862 --> 00:24:54,854
how easy it would be at an occasion such as this
426
00:24:54,902 --> 00:24:56,095
to assassinate your husband?
427
00:24:57,102 --> 00:24:59,856
Assassinate my husband?
428
00:24:59,903 --> 00:25:00,971
Who would want to do that?
429
00:25:01,022 --> 00:25:03,900
I would be more concerned about the method.
430
00:25:03,942 --> 00:25:05,977
But...
431
00:25:05,981 --> 00:25:09,018
How could anyone do such a thing
here at the table?
432
00:25:09,061 --> 00:25:14,930
Easily. A weapon could be concealed
in a man's belt or in a holster strapped to his leg.
433
00:25:14,980 --> 00:25:17,095
A lady could have a gun under her skirt.
434
00:25:17,900 --> 00:25:19,050
Merde.
435
00:25:21,940 --> 00:25:23,896
Assassinate my husband.
436
00:25:23,940 --> 00:25:25,931
That is more appropriate.
437
00:25:29,099 --> 00:25:32,010
Oh, I've dropped my earring.
438
00:25:32,058 --> 00:25:36,972
- May I help, my dear?
- No! Oh, no, no. It's OK. I can manage.
439
00:25:38,899 --> 00:25:39,854
Thank you.
440
00:25:49,897 --> 00:25:52,091
- The cost of living must be brought down.
- Oh, I agree.
441
00:25:52,096 --> 00:25:54,052
Everything's going up these days.
442
00:25:58,976 --> 00:26:00,012
You're so right.
443
00:26:01,097 --> 00:26:06,090
The wheel has...turned full circle in my country
now there's a...
444
00:26:06,855 --> 00:26:09,892
definite trend towards the swing
against the backlash.
445
00:26:20,094 --> 00:26:21,925
Thank you.
446
00:26:21,974 --> 00:26:23,885
I didn't say anything.
447
00:26:25,054 --> 00:26:31,003
In my country, it is the duty of women
to give pleasure to men.
448
00:26:36,891 --> 00:26:38,006
I'm glad you agree.
449
00:26:49,051 --> 00:26:50,928
Tell me, Admiral,
450
00:26:51,011 --> 00:26:53,968
how do you enjoy the Navy?
451
00:26:54,010 --> 00:26:57,001
Frankly, I can't stand the sea.
It makes me bloody sick.
452
00:27:15,968 --> 00:27:16,922
Anything wrong?
453
00:27:16,967 --> 00:27:19,846
On the contrary.
454
00:27:30,887 --> 00:27:33,923
Ooh, my goodness! What are you doing here?
455
00:27:33,966 --> 00:27:35,843
I'm looking for a weapon.
456
00:27:35,886 --> 00:27:37,876
Oh! You won't find one here.
457
00:27:37,925 --> 00:27:39,962
- I'm trying to protect you.
- Protect me?
458
00:27:51,845 --> 00:27:54,995
I decided
to get to know my husband's friends a little...
459
00:27:55,044 --> 00:27:57,841
How you might say?
460
00:27:57,883 --> 00:27:58,952
"better.
461
00:29:35,034 --> 00:29:36,990
I was satisfied.
462
00:29:38,073 --> 00:29:40,872
None of them had a weapon to worry about.
463
00:29:53,872 --> 00:29:55,863
These have arrived for you, madam.
464
00:29:55,912 --> 00:29:56,981
Oh, they're lovely.
465
00:29:57,992 --> 00:30:00,870
They most certainly are, madam.
466
00:30:04,991 --> 00:30:08,869
"To my darling adorable Emmannuelle.
467
00:30:10,070 --> 00:30:12,949
With all my love, Theodore."
468
00:30:16,910 --> 00:30:18,979
Loins, who is Theodore?
469
00:30:19,029 --> 00:30:21,908
I haven't the slightest idea, madam.
470
00:30:21,950 --> 00:30:23,905
I don't know any Theodores.
471
00:30:23,949 --> 00:30:30,023
Oh, well. I always forget their names
long before I forget the important things.
472
00:30:31,068 --> 00:30:32,900
Tell me, Loins.
473
00:30:32,949 --> 00:30:35,018
Do you, er...
474
00:30:35,068 --> 00:30:37,024
believe in free love?
475
00:30:37,068 --> 00:30:40,855
Anything free appeals to me, madam.
476
00:30:40,907 --> 00:30:44,980
And...do I appeal to you?
477
00:30:46,867 --> 00:30:47,856
Yes, madam.
478
00:30:47,907 --> 00:30:50,943
Oh, Loins, you English are so frigid.
479
00:30:50,986 --> 00:30:52,942
Perhaps not so.
480
00:30:53,986 --> 00:30:57,899
After all, they do say
the proof of the pudding is in the eating.
481
00:30:57,946 --> 00:31:00,903
In the...eating?
482
00:31:00,905 --> 00:31:01,975
Yes, madam.
483
00:31:04,065 --> 00:31:06,021
Are you hungry, Loins?
484
00:31:06,065 --> 00:31:09,852
I think I could manage a little nibble.
485
00:31:13,064 --> 00:31:14,052
Coffee?
486
00:31:14,063 --> 00:31:15,816
Pardon?
487
00:31:15,864 --> 00:31:19,014
- Are you for coffee?
- No, thanks. I'm staying here. I'd like coffee.
488
00:31:19,063 --> 00:31:22,022
Yeah. He's in a world of his own, you know.
489
00:31:22,024 --> 00:31:24,981
He hasn't been the same
since he looked through that keyhole.
490
00:31:25,063 --> 00:31:28,817
- I think it's disgusting.
- What? Having it off?
491
00:31:28,862 --> 00:31:32,059
Oh, don't be so crude!
You men are all the same, sex mad.
492
00:31:32,822 --> 00:31:34,049
Yeah, and proud of it. Eh, Richmond?
493
00:31:34,861 --> 00:31:36,056
- Pardon?
- Sex.
494
00:31:36,062 --> 00:31:38,053
No, thanks. I'd rather have some coffee.
495
00:31:38,822 --> 00:31:40,812
Ah, coffee.
496
00:31:40,901 --> 00:31:41,937
Oh, here we are.
497
00:31:41,982 --> 00:31:46,020
Here, me and Mrs Dangle,
we've just been talking about having it off.
498
00:31:46,021 --> 00:31:47,852
Rather you than me.
499
00:31:47,901 --> 00:31:49,936
Eh? No, not together, you berk!
500
00:31:49,980 --> 00:31:53,017
You've been a long time
just taking up a bunch of flowers.
501
00:31:53,060 --> 00:31:55,015
What have you been up to?
502
00:31:55,019 --> 00:31:59,809
Er, nothing at all, really.
Just a little intelligent conversation.
503
00:31:59,859 --> 00:32:01,816
Loins, you forgot these.
504
00:32:01,860 --> 00:32:04,010
You randy old retainer!
505
00:32:04,060 --> 00:32:05,970
Could I have a cup of coffee?
506
00:32:06,019 --> 00:32:08,010
You can have anything you want, madam.
507
00:32:12,858 --> 00:32:15,894
Aye aye.
You've started his motor running. Look.
508
00:32:15,937 --> 00:32:17,006
Steady on, Richmond.
509
00:32:19,937 --> 00:32:22,008
It's not proper, you being down below stairs.
510
00:32:22,058 --> 00:32:24,969
Why not? We are all human beings.
511
00:32:25,017 --> 00:32:28,896
There should be no class distinction.
I believe in brotherly love.
512
00:32:28,937 --> 00:32:30,847
Here, that's incest!
513
00:32:30,856 --> 00:32:33,814
Love is the most important thing in the world.
514
00:32:33,856 --> 00:32:34,844
Not to me, it isn't.
515
00:32:34,895 --> 00:32:38,046
That's because you've forgotten
what it's like to be loved by a man.
516
00:32:39,056 --> 00:32:41,011
To feel the warmth of his body
517
00:32:41,055 --> 00:32:42,967
next to yours,
518
00:32:43,016 --> 00:32:46,803
to feel his hot kisses on your lips.
519
00:32:46,855 --> 00:32:48,811
You've started him off again.
520
00:32:50,014 --> 00:32:52,892
We'll have to start putting bromide in his coffee.
521
00:32:53,934 --> 00:32:58,927
Making love is wonderful.
You cannot be angry when you're making love.
522
00:32:59,973 --> 00:33:01,850
Can't we talk about something else?
523
00:33:01,893 --> 00:33:05,966
Oh, no, it's good to talk about it.
It's important to get things off your breast.
524
00:33:06,013 --> 00:33:10,051
Now, I will tell you what we are going to do.
525
00:33:10,812 --> 00:33:16,010
We will all describe
our most unusual amorous experience.
526
00:33:16,051 --> 00:33:18,007
I couldn't possibly do that.
527
00:33:18,811 --> 00:33:20,927
Oh, yes, you can.
ll will release your repressions.
528
00:33:20,971 --> 00:33:22,928
Who is going first?
529
00:33:23,972 --> 00:33:25,927
I'll go first.
530
00:33:26,011 --> 00:33:28,923
- Leyland.
- Very well, Leyland. You have the floor.
531
00:33:28,971 --> 00:33:30,881
Face down, I hope.
532
00:33:30,930 --> 00:33:33,046
My most unusual experience
533
00:33:34,050 --> 00:33:36,882
occurred one warm balmy evening last spring
534
00:33:37,929 --> 00:33:40,965
when this young man's fancy
lightly turned to thoughts of lust.
535
00:33:41,008 --> 00:33:43,888
Ooh, you fancy young men, do you?
536
00:33:43,930 --> 00:33:44,884
Mrs Dangle.
537
00:33:46,849 --> 00:33:48,805
Feeling in the need of company,
538
00:33:48,849 --> 00:33:52,921
I transported myself to my favourite pub -
the Tit And Sparrow up Camden Passage.
539
00:33:55,887 --> 00:34:01,836
It took me but a pint to make contact
with a beauteous chickie of the female gender
540
00:34:01,886 --> 00:34:04,038
what would turn any civilized man into a beast.
541
00:34:05,047 --> 00:34:11,838
Despite my natural shy reluctance,
she was insistent
542
00:34:11,846 --> 00:34:13,802
to the point of desperation.
543
00:34:18,045 --> 00:34:20,956
She whisked me off to her luxury flat in Mayfair.
544
00:34:24,886 --> 00:34:30,039
Where to say her intentions were dishonorable
would be an understatement.
545
00:34:30,844 --> 00:34:33,995
No sooner did we reach
her lavishly furnished penthouse
546
00:34:35,044 --> 00:34:40,878
with the chandelier poised gracefully
over the nuptial couch,
547
00:34:40,922 --> 00:34:42,879
she removes my garmentation
548
00:34:42,923 --> 00:34:44,880
in a flash.
549
00:35:05,881 --> 00:35:07,792
Whisks me between the sheets.
550
00:35:07,881 --> 00:35:11,031
I was about to satisfy herself
with my irresistible masculinity, when...
551
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:13,878
Oh, my husband!
552
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:14,875
Her husband.
553
00:35:53,876 --> 00:35:55,911
I shan't tell you exactly what happened
554
00:35:55,955 --> 00:35:57,911
when she joined me in the closet.
555
00:35:59,995 --> 00:36:04,034
The details...are too pornographic,
even for you lot.
556
00:36:04,835 --> 00:36:06,870
Suffice to say that,
557
00:36:06,914 --> 00:36:08,871
despite the cramped confines,
558
00:36:08,915 --> 00:36:11,872
we achieved mutual satisfaction.
559
00:36:23,993 --> 00:36:26,825
Ho, ho, ho, ho. My hangers!
560
00:36:28,992 --> 00:36:31,904
It seems the lady had an unusual hang-up.
561
00:36:31,952 --> 00:36:34,864
She can only make love in a closet,
562
00:36:34,912 --> 00:36:35,981
standing up.
563
00:36:36,032 --> 00:36:37,987
She always arranged it that way.
564
00:36:38,031 --> 00:36:41,909
I found out later she was known
as the Closet Queen of Camden Town.
565
00:36:41,950 --> 00:36:43,987
Richmond, you can go next.
566
00:36:44,031 --> 00:36:44,986
Oh, thanks.
567
00:36:45,071 --> 00:36:48,858
No, no. After all,
he never gets a word in edgewise.
568
00:36:48,870 --> 00:36:51,828
He'd be lucky to get anything in,
edgewise or otherwise,
569
00:36:51,870 --> 00:36:53,826
- if you ask me.
- We didn't.
570
00:36:53,870 --> 00:36:55,906
- Richmond.
- Yeah?
571
00:36:55,950 --> 00:36:56,984
I...
572
00:36:56,989 --> 00:36:59,981
I'm not sure that I can remember all the details.
573
00:37:00,069 --> 00:37:01,945
Oh, come on!
574
00:37:01,948 --> 00:37:04,861
Tell us your most amorous escapade.
575
00:37:04,909 --> 00:37:06,978
It's that far back, he won't remember.
576
00:37:07,028 --> 00:37:09,826
Oh, yes, I do.
577
00:37:09,868 --> 00:37:12,860
It was during the war, when I was in the army.
578
00:37:14,068 --> 00:37:16,945
Oh, those were dark days.
579
00:37:16,987 --> 00:37:19,945
You never knew
which minute was going to be your last.
580
00:37:22,946 --> 00:37:24,903
You had to live dangerously,
581
00:37:29,786 --> 00:37:31,014
and make every moment count.
582
00:37:38,025 --> 00:37:41,778
I went to France to fight the enemy.
583
00:37:47,944 --> 00:37:49,935
Ah! I surrender!
584
00:37:50,024 --> 00:37:51,979
Dans les bois, avec moi.
585
00:37:52,023 --> 00:37:53,901
Avec what?
586
00:37:53,904 --> 00:37:55,860
Oh, God!
587
00:37:58,863 --> 00:38:00,819
It's never like this in Putney.
588
00:38:05,823 --> 00:38:09,781
Ah! Ah, I surrender again! Ah!
589
00:38:14,862 --> 00:38:15,817
Komm.
590
00:38:26,061 --> 00:38:28,016
Hands hoch, in the name of the Reich!
591
00:38:29,820 --> 00:38:31,856
Not you, Fraulein. The British soldier!
592
00:38:32,899 --> 00:38:34,855
Kurt, take ze prisoner away!
593
00:38:44,939 --> 00:38:47,896
Now, Fraulein, you are quite safe.
594
00:38:47,938 --> 00:38:49,894
Oh, thank you.
595
00:38:49,898 --> 00:38:51,775
You are a fine-looking woman.
596
00:38:51,818 --> 00:38:52,886
Oh, naughty, naughty!
597
00:38:52,937 --> 00:38:55,770
- I like you.
- Oh, cheeky!
598
00:38:55,817 --> 00:38:57,887
- I am going to have you.
- No, no, you're not.
599
00:38:57,937 --> 00:39:01,850
Yes, I am. I need to caress a beautiful woman.
600
00:39:01,897 --> 00:39:03,932
You're going to get a hell of a shock if you do.
601
00:39:03,976 --> 00:39:05,933
Come, I want to have you!
602
00:39:09,016 --> 00:39:10,051
Gott im Himmel!
603
00:39:14,815 --> 00:39:15,884
Englische Schweinhund!
604
00:39:26,975 --> 00:39:30,011
- Yes, my daughter?
- The Germans are after me, Father.
605
00:39:30,774 --> 00:39:34,766
Oh, mon Dieu! Don't worry, my child.
You can stay here for as long as you like.
606
00:39:34,813 --> 00:39:36,804
Yes? Where will I sleep?
607
00:39:36,853 --> 00:39:38,889
My niece won't mind you sharing her room.
608
00:39:38,893 --> 00:39:40,804
- Your niece? But...
- Colette?
609
00:39:41,853 --> 00:39:43,888
Non, it's impo...possible.
610
00:39:43,932 --> 00:39:45,810
Come along, my child.
611
00:39:48,012 --> 00:39:49,968
For what I am about to receive...
612
00:39:51,012 --> 00:39:51,967
...thanks!
613
00:39:55,811 --> 00:39:58,927
And I stayed there till 1953.
614
00:39:58,971 --> 00:40:00,848
Just a minute.
615
00:40:00,891 --> 00:40:02,960
The war ended in 1945.
616
00:40:03,010 --> 00:40:04,966
I was in no hurry.
617
00:40:07,850 --> 00:40:09,886
Loins. Now it's your turn.
618
00:40:10,930 --> 00:40:15,798
Well, my most unusual amorous experience,
believe it or not, took place at the zoo.
619
00:40:16,889 --> 00:40:18,844
Went to see his relatives.
620
00:40:21,009 --> 00:40:23,920
Come on, Loins. Tell us about the zoo.
621
00:40:23,968 --> 00:40:26,005
Well, it was a lovely day.
622
00:40:32,888 --> 00:40:34,957
And all around me there was evidence
623
00:40:35,007 --> 00:40:36,918
that spring was in the air.
624
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:40,831
What's the matter?
625
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:41,909
Come here, darling.
626
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:51,756
Let me out!
627
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:54,755
Help!
628
00:42:28,916 --> 00:42:30,872
Here, did you get anything?
629
00:42:30,916 --> 00:42:31,871
Pneumonia.
630
00:42:34,995 --> 00:42:37,748
Mrs Dangle, your turn.
631
00:42:38,795 --> 00:42:39,749
Very well.
632
00:42:39,794 --> 00:42:41,750
I shall reveal everything.
633
00:42:41,794 --> 00:42:44,785
- Well, if you're going to strip, I'm going.
- Sit down.
634
00:42:45,833 --> 00:42:49,952
My most unusual experience
happened in a launderette.
635
00:42:49,994 --> 00:42:54,862
As anyone knows, launderettes
are better than pubs if you're after a pick-up.
636
00:42:54,913 --> 00:42:56,790
LEYLAND I didn't know that.
637
00:42:56,793 --> 00:42:59,784
If you ever get around to washing your clothes,
you'll find out.
638
00:43:00,832 --> 00:43:03,869
Now, this particular day, the place was full.
639
00:43:04,911 --> 00:43:05,946
Unattached people.
640
00:43:06,992 --> 00:43:08,949
Course, you get all types in there.
641
00:43:08,993 --> 00:43:11,870
But then, I prefer all types
642
00:43:11,912 --> 00:43:13,823
to other types.
643
00:43:13,832 --> 00:43:14,946
Through long experience,
644
00:43:14,991 --> 00:43:19,984
and if there's one thing I've had
more than anything else, it's experience,
645
00:43:20,750 --> 00:43:20,988
all you do,
646
00:43:21,790 --> 00:43:23,940
if you're on the make, is you say something like,
647
00:43:23,990 --> 00:43:26,868
Excuse me, dear,
can I borrow some of your suds?
648
00:43:31,950 --> 00:43:33,986
And if that doesn't work, you say,
649
00:43:34,749 --> 00:43:36,865
My, but you've got some saucy underpants.
650
00:43:38,909 --> 00:43:44,857
But despite my unusual attractiveness
and highly reclaimed sex appeal,
651
00:43:44,907 --> 00:43:48,947
that day didn't get off to a very promising start.
652
00:43:48,988 --> 00:43:50,944
But sometimes,
653
00:43:50,988 --> 00:43:53,821
when you least expect it,
654
00:43:53,868 --> 00:43:58,861
you see a stranger
across a crowded launderette.
655
00:44:09,945 --> 00:44:11,902
♪ Striptease instrumental
656
00:45:07,980 --> 00:45:12,973
I knew, when I first laid my eyes on his Y-fronts,
657
00:45:12,979 --> 00:45:13,935
I knew...
658
00:45:17,819 --> 00:45:18,774
. . that he
659
00:45:20,898 --> 00:45:21,853
...was the one.
660
00:45:58,775 --> 00:45:59,844
Thank you, Mrs Dangle,
661
00:45:59,895 --> 00:46:01,885
for a most unbelievable experience.
662
00:46:01,934 --> 00:46:04,846
And now I think it's time for you, madam.
663
00:46:04,894 --> 00:46:06,963
- Hear, hear!
- Hear, hear!
664
00:46:07,733 --> 00:46:10,884
Well, I fear, in comparison,
mine may seem rather dull.
665
00:46:11,933 --> 00:46:13,969
I really don't have your imagination.
666
00:46:14,733 --> 00:46:16,723
Why, don't you believe it, darling.
667
00:46:16,772 --> 00:46:18,923
They'll be queuing up for the film rights to yours.
668
00:46:18,973 --> 00:46:20,928
Well, all right.
669
00:46:22,852 --> 00:46:25,729
My most unusual amorous affair,
670
00:46:26,771 --> 00:46:28,808
you may find it hard to believe,
671
00:46:28,852 --> 00:46:29,921
was with my husband.
672
00:46:30,971 --> 00:46:33,769
He has not always been the man you know.
673
00:46:33,811 --> 00:46:37,803
Not very long ago, he was one of the dashing
young sons of la belle France,
674
00:46:37,891 --> 00:46:41,963
with an appetite for the exotic amour
almost equal to my own.
675
00:46:43,890 --> 00:46:46,847
We made love in wild, crazy places,
676
00:46:46,889 --> 00:46:48,926
beautifully,
677
00:46:48,970 --> 00:46:51,881
elementally, in the air.
678
00:47:03,888 --> 00:47:06,845
ll was all so wonderful, so dangerous.
679
00:47:36,884 --> 00:47:39,921
Hemingway said, 'To make love beautifully
680
00:47:40,724 --> 00:47:41,952
is to die a little each time.“
681
00:47:42,764 --> 00:47:46,756
Unfortunately, Emile very soon saw the point.
682
00:47:53,843 --> 00:47:54,798
Aargh!
683
00:47:54,883 --> 00:48:00,752
Aaargh!
684
00:48:02,962 --> 00:48:05,795
Poor Emile.
685
00:48:05,802 --> 00:48:09,841
But now I think we all understand
the master's shortcomings.
686
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:28,757
♪ The woman is love crazy
687
00:48:28,799 --> 00:48:29,949
♪ She's loving all night
688
00:48:30,720 --> 00:48:32,710
♪ The woman is love crazy
689
00:48:32,799 --> 00:48:33,868
♪ Won't stop for a bite
690
00:48:33,919 --> 00:48:36,876
♪ The woman is love crazy
691
00:48:36,918 --> 00:48:38,829
♪ She's out on her own
692
00:48:38,878 --> 00:48:39,947
♪ Sometimes! work so hard
693
00:48:40,758 --> 00:48:42,748
♪ I wish she'd leave me atone
694
00:48:42,797 --> 00:48:45,835
Pardon me, madam,
there's a young man who wishes to see you.
695
00:48:45,878 --> 00:48:47,788
Does he have a name?
696
00:48:47,837 --> 00:48:50,716
I believe he said Theodore Valentine.
697
00:48:50,758 --> 00:48:52,713
Oh, yes, I remember him.
698
00:48:52,757 --> 00:48:54,748
He's the one I don't remember.
699
00:48:54,797 --> 00:48:56,832
Quite, madam.
700
00:48:56,876 --> 00:49:01,869
Oh, well, better keep him waiting a moment
while I make myself respectable.
701
00:49:10,956 --> 00:49:13,788
There, that should do it.
702
00:49:16,755 --> 00:49:18,949
I do wish you wouldn't lie about
in this abandoned fashion.
703
00:49:19,754 --> 00:49:22,745
It's not good for the servants to see you topless.
704
00:49:22,793 --> 00:49:25,911
- I've had no complaints.
- No, you are bold.
705
00:49:25,954 --> 00:49:28,865
I've never seen anyone so bold.
706
00:49:28,913 --> 00:49:31,951
Ah, why don't you stay here
and we can be bold together?
707
00:49:31,954 --> 00:49:36,822
No, I haven't time. I have a meeting
with the Minister of Foreign Affairs.
708
00:49:36,873 --> 00:49:37,827
Oh, him?
709
00:49:37,872 --> 00:49:40,784
He doesn't have any affairs. That's his problem.
710
00:49:40,832 --> 00:49:44,744
Unlike you, I don't judge everyone
by the amount of dilly-dallying they get up to.
711
00:49:44,791 --> 00:49:47,828
You're always too busy to do the things I like.
712
00:49:47,871 --> 00:49:51,785
I'm sure you don't need me
to help you do the things you like.
713
00:49:51,832 --> 00:49:55,744
But I like doing the things I like with you,
as well as with others I like.
714
00:49:55,751 --> 00:49:57,900
Sooner or later,
you are going to ruin our marriage
715
00:49:57,950 --> 00:50:01,784
if you insist on trying
to drag me into your silly amours.
716
00:50:01,830 --> 00:50:03,865
And for goodness' sake, cover yourself up.
717
00:50:04,909 --> 00:50:06,865
Tell her to cover herself up.
718
00:50:21,908 --> 00:50:23,704
Emmannuelle?
719
00:50:23,747 --> 00:50:24,782
Oui, monsieur.
720
00:50:24,827 --> 00:50:26,783
It's me, Theodore.
721
00:50:28,867 --> 00:50:30,859
Don't you remember me?
722
00:50:30,908 --> 00:50:31,863
Non.
723
00:50:31,908 --> 00:50:35,695
- But you haven't looked at me yet.
- I don't recognise your voice.
724
00:50:35,747 --> 00:50:36,702
Look at me!
725
00:50:39,946 --> 00:50:41,823
Well?
726
00:50:41,866 --> 00:50:43,742
You look familiar.
727
00:50:43,745 --> 00:50:44,700
Concorde.
728
00:50:44,745 --> 00:50:46,701
Oh, oui.
729
00:50:46,785 --> 00:50:47,853
Oh, yes.
730
00:50:47,864 --> 00:50:49,695
That was very funny.
731
00:50:49,745 --> 00:50:51,782
I didn't think so.
732
00:50:51,826 --> 00:50:53,781
Didn't you...? Well, I mean...
733
00:50:53,825 --> 00:50:55,736
Wasn't it...good?
734
00:50:55,785 --> 00:50:58,742
Well, it was...
735
00:50:59,864 --> 00:51:01,775
...different.
736
00:51:01,824 --> 00:51:03,734
Didn't it mean anything to you?
737
00:51:03,743 --> 00:51:06,780
Oh, yes. I will always fly Concorde in future.
738
00:51:06,823 --> 00:51:11,898
Since that wonderful night, I haven't slept,
or eaten, or even cleaned my teeth.
739
00:51:11,944 --> 00:51:14,901
You don't need to clean your teeth
if you haven't eaten.
740
00:51:15,703 --> 00:51:16,897
I have fallen in love.
741
00:51:16,943 --> 00:51:18,819
Oh, you poor boy!
742
00:51:18,862 --> 00:51:19,817
Who with?
743
00:51:19,862 --> 00:51:20,851
Who do you think?
744
00:51:20,902 --> 00:51:22,699
Is it anyone I know?
745
00:51:22,742 --> 00:51:23,776
It's you, of course.
746
00:51:23,821 --> 00:51:25,732
Oh!
747
00:51:25,781 --> 00:51:29,819
I say, I've never felt like this
about anyone before, not even...
748
00:51:31,782 --> 00:51:32,851
...not even my own mother.
749
00:51:33,941 --> 00:51:34,896
Emmannuelle,
750
00:51:34,941 --> 00:51:36,818
I want to marry you.
751
00:51:36,861 --> 00:51:39,772
Oh, I'm done. Shower time.
752
00:51:39,780 --> 00:51:40,735
Oh, no!
753
00:51:43,859 --> 00:51:44,814
Oh!
754
00:51:46,899 --> 00:51:50,687
You may enter, Monsieur Concorde.
755
00:52:02,858 --> 00:52:04,927
Did you hear what I said? I want to marry you.
756
00:52:05,737 --> 00:52:08,728
If you want to marry me,
you will have to ask my husband.
757
00:52:08,736 --> 00:52:10,727
But I don't want to marry your husband.
758
00:52:10,777 --> 00:52:11,892
I should hope not.
759
00:52:11,937 --> 00:52:12,892
Do you love him?
760
00:52:12,937 --> 00:52:15,735
- Sometimes.
- You don't sound sure.
761
00:52:15,777 --> 00:52:17,893
Oh, yes. I'm sure I love him sometimes.
762
00:52:17,937 --> 00:52:20,769
Well, will you be prepared to leave him for me?
763
00:52:20,856 --> 00:52:23,733
Certainly not! Not for you or anyone.
764
00:52:23,735 --> 00:52:25,930
Why did you give yourself to me like that
in the Concorde?
765
00:52:26,735 --> 00:52:28,884
You mustn't think that
because I made love to you
766
00:52:28,894 --> 00:52:31,693
that you are entitled to any landing rights.
767
00:52:31,735 --> 00:52:34,772
- I think I'd better go.
- Oh, you can stay if you wish.
768
00:52:34,815 --> 00:52:35,850
I have a free morning.
769
00:52:37,775 --> 00:52:38,923
My towel, please.
770
00:52:51,813 --> 00:52:56,762
Now, look, I shall never make love to you again
until you promise your undying love for me.
771
00:52:56,813 --> 00:52:58,768
I wouldn't be too sure about that.
772
00:53:00,732 --> 00:53:01,881
You can't tempt me again.
773
00:53:01,932 --> 00:53:03,887
No?
774
00:53:03,931 --> 00:53:04,920
Keep away from me.
775
00:53:05,691 --> 00:53:07,682
- You said you love me.
- Yes, but I do.
776
00:53:07,731 --> 00:53:08,686
Show me.
777
00:53:09,730 --> 00:53:10,719
Theodore!
778
00:53:13,850 --> 00:53:17,685
Oh, Theodore, you have wet yourself.
779
00:53:17,731 --> 00:53:19,880
There we are, darling. All tucked in.
780
00:53:19,930 --> 00:53:22,842
Nice and clean. Night-night.
781
00:53:22,890 --> 00:53:24,766
Night-night, Mummy.
782
00:53:24,769 --> 00:53:27,761
What are we going
to dream about tonight, darling?
783
00:53:27,809 --> 00:53:28,923
Not her!
784
00:53:29,688 --> 00:53:31,805
- Why not?
- Well, she'll only bring you trouble.
785
00:53:32,849 --> 00:53:35,681
- Yes.
- Have you dreamt about her before?
786
00:53:35,728 --> 00:53:37,765
Yes, often, night and day.
787
00:53:37,769 --> 00:53:39,724
Oh, you are in a state.
788
00:53:39,768 --> 00:53:41,804
- I dreamt about her last night.
- Did you?
789
00:53:41,848 --> 00:53:43,679
No, she wouldn't let me.
790
00:53:44,887 --> 00:53:46,798
I must ring Dr Jones.
791
00:53:46,847 --> 00:53:47,882
What can he do?
792
00:53:47,887 --> 00:53:50,878
Well, he can give you an injection
or...something.
793
00:53:50,926 --> 00:53:51,882
What for?
794
00:53:52,687 --> 00:53:55,723
- Well, for whatever you've got.
- I like what I've got.
795
00:53:55,806 --> 00:53:57,762
Well, I don't.
796
00:53:57,806 --> 00:53:59,797
And I'm going to do something about it.
797
00:54:01,846 --> 00:54:02,915
Night-night, darling.
798
00:54:09,884 --> 00:54:15,754
Now it's time for your afternoon
bodybuilding session with Harry Hernia.
799
00:54:23,844 --> 00:54:28,917
Now, this afternoon, I'm gonna show you
how to build up your stomach muscles.
800
00:54:29,722 --> 00:54:31,678
I don't think I got any.
801
00:54:31,722 --> 00:54:33,679
Are you ready?
802
00:54:33,723 --> 00:54:35,678
l am all yours, Harry.
803
00:54:39,841 --> 00:54:42,879
- You're at it again.
- So is he, listen.
804
00:54:42,922 --> 00:54:44,877
Let's all lie down on the floor.
805
00:54:44,921 --> 00:54:47,719
Ooh, it's very hard.
806
00:54:47,721 --> 00:54:50,871
''Now, raise your legs in the air.
807
00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:53,719
Ooh, no, I feel it.
808
00:54:53,801 --> 00:54:56,712
- Who's he got in there?
- I don't know. I can't see.
809
00:55:00,759 --> 00:55:01,715
Loins.
810
00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:03,875
What are you doing?
811
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:07,798
Um, er, I was just tying my shoelace, madam.
812
00:55:07,839 --> 00:55:10,716
Yes, and I was helping him.
813
00:55:11,718 --> 00:55:13,755
But, Loins, your shoes have no laces.
814
00:55:13,799 --> 00:55:15,709
Oh, I...
815
00:55:19,797 --> 00:55:20,832
Madam, I...
816
00:55:23,718 --> 00:55:24,786
EMMANNUELLE. I'm back.
817
00:55:25,837 --> 00:55:27,748
Ah, yes, dear.
818
00:55:27,797 --> 00:55:28,912
It's warm out.
819
00:55:31,836 --> 00:55:33,828
You don't care what I do.
820
00:55:35,756 --> 00:55:36,825
Today...
821
00:55:38,756 --> 00:55:44,831
Today I made love to 14 soldiers,
21 sailors, and 16 airmen.
822
00:55:44,876 --> 00:55:46,831
The Prime Minister announced
823
00:55:46,875 --> 00:55:50,833
that the morale of the defense forces
has never been higher.
824
00:55:50,874 --> 00:55:52,706
What did you say?
825
00:55:53,795 --> 00:55:54,750
Nothing.
826
00:55:55,874 --> 00:55:57,865
Why haven't your muscles
827
00:55:57,914 --> 00:56:01,667
- developed like that?
- They will, eventually.
828
00:56:01,713 --> 00:56:03,669
You'll never match that gorgeous hunk.
829
00:56:03,713 --> 00:56:05,863
I don't expect to match him.
830
00:56:05,913 --> 00:56:09,701
That's Harry Hernia.
He has the most highly developed
831
00:56:09,753 --> 00:56:13,712
rectus femoris in the whole of Britain.
832
00:56:13,753 --> 00:56:14,788
Has he?
833
00:56:18,832 --> 00:56:23,825
Bye-bye this afternoon,
and don'! forget your exercises.
834
00:56:23,871 --> 00:56:26,704
Tonight they are going to proclaim him
835
00:56:26,751 --> 00:56:28,707
Mr Super Muscle.
836
00:56:29,791 --> 00:56:30,859
Do you know him?
837
00:56:30,870 --> 00:56:35,785
Of course. Yes.
I have lessons from him in pumping iron.
838
00:56:35,830 --> 00:56:38,867
- I think I would like to meet him.
- Whatever for?
839
00:56:40,789 --> 00:56:41,858
Body building.
840
00:56:57,748 --> 00:56:59,864
- Where do you sleep?
- On the mat.
841
00:57:01,787 --> 00:57:04,745
- Where do you sit?
- Sittings bad for the posture.
842
00:57:04,787 --> 00:57:07,665
You either stand, squat, or lie down.
843
00:57:07,707 --> 00:57:09,663
- Mind if I squat?
- Surely.
844
00:57:10,826 --> 00:57:13,739
- Want something?
- Depends what you have in mind.
845
00:57:14,787 --> 00:57:15,741
Drink, maybe.
846
00:57:16,866 --> 00:57:17,821
Maybe.
847
00:57:17,866 --> 00:57:18,901
OK.
848
00:57:21,825 --> 00:57:23,781
Oxo or Bovril?
849
00:57:23,785 --> 00:57:25,775
Don't you have something else?
850
00:57:25,824 --> 00:57:28,658
Sure. How about a glass of milk?
851
00:57:28,705 --> 00:57:29,774
No, thank you.
852
00:57:42,903 --> 00:57:45,656
What do you want to do?
853
00:57:45,703 --> 00:57:48,660
Depends what you...have in mind.
854
00:57:48,702 --> 00:57:49,692
A work-out, maybe.
855
00:57:49,743 --> 00:57:51,812
- A work-out?
- Sure.
856
00:57:51,862 --> 00:57:53,819
What do you want me to do first?
857
00:57:53,863 --> 00:57:56,740
Now come on, lady, let's take your clothes off.
858
00:57:59,902 --> 00:58:02,859
Oh, can you help me with the zip?
859
00:58:02,901 --> 00:58:06,734
Why, sure. Now let me get my things off.
860
00:58:08,740 --> 00:58:10,697
Can I help you?
861
00:58:10,701 --> 00:58:11,769
I can manage.
862
00:58:12,900 --> 00:58:15,699
Now take a look at this.
863
00:58:15,741 --> 00:58:17,856
It's a beaut, eh? What do you think of that?
864
00:58:19,700 --> 00:58:23,738
lncroyable! I've never seen anything that big.
865
00:58:25,819 --> 00:58:27,774
Now let's have a look at you.
866
00:58:33,859 --> 00:58:36,656
Well, what's the verdict?
867
00:58:36,698 --> 00:58:38,814
You definitely need more exercises.
868
00:58:38,858 --> 00:58:40,894
How about making love?
869
00:58:41,657 --> 00:58:42,806
Very good exercise.
870
00:58:42,857 --> 00:58:46,735
Builds up your lumber,
and your rectus abdominus.
871
00:58:46,736 --> 00:58:48,772
But it's off my training programme.
872
00:58:48,816 --> 00:58:50,772
- Oh, that's a pity.
- Sony, darling.
873
00:58:50,816 --> 00:58:54,776
It's the Mr Muscles contest
and I want to win that title before I retire.
874
00:58:54,817 --> 00:58:56,727
That?! make it a hat trick.
875
00:58:56,776 --> 00:59:00,894
I'm determined to go out with a bang.
876
00:59:00,896 --> 00:59:03,773
That's exactly what I had in mind.
877
00:59:05,815 --> 00:59:07,691
Ambassador's residence.
878
00:59:08,774 --> 00:59:10,890
Well, I'm sure that madam is asleep right now.
879
00:59:13,654 --> 00:59:15,771
Very well, sir. Are you sure it's urgent?
880
00:59:16,894 --> 00:59:18,885
Yes, well, hold on one moment, please.
881
00:59:30,852 --> 00:59:32,807
Madam?
882
00:59:43,731 --> 00:59:44,766
Madam?
883
00:59:51,889 --> 00:59:53,880
Wake up, madam. There is a call for you.
884
00:59:55,771 --> 00:59:58,762
Madam, wake up, please. He says it's urgent.
885
00:59:58,810 --> 00:59:59,879
Who is that?
886
01:00:01,810 --> 01:00:02,798
Ah, Loins.
887
01:00:03,889 --> 01:00:05,686
What is it?
888
01:00:05,729 --> 01:00:08,640
Um, a phone call.
889
01:00:08,688 --> 01:00:10,644
I believe it's a gentleman friend.
890
01:00:10,688 --> 01:00:11,803
Tell him I'm out.
891
01:00:11,848 --> 01:00:14,760
He already knows that you're in, madam.
892
01:00:14,848 --> 01:00:16,760
Take a message.
893
01:00:16,809 --> 01:00:17,877
I...l did.
894
01:00:17,888 --> 01:00:20,800
- What was it?
- He says that he wants to speak to you.
895
01:00:25,727 --> 01:00:27,682
Allo?
896
01:00:27,726 --> 01:00:29,637
- Who is this?
- It's me.
897
01:00:29,686 --> 01:00:31,722
Theodore. Are you alone?
898
01:00:31,766 --> 01:00:34,758
- I'm in bed.
- Yes, but are you alone?
899
01:00:34,766 --> 01:00:36,722
What do you want?
900
01:00:36,806 --> 01:00:38,762
- I had to ring you.
- Why?
901
01:00:38,806 --> 01:00:41,843
Because... I want to tell you that I love you.
902
01:00:41,886 --> 01:00:43,762
You love me?
903
01:00:43,805 --> 01:00:45,796
Oh, Loins.
904
01:00:45,845 --> 01:00:48,677
- Pardon? What did you say?
- Oh, nothing.
905
01:00:48,684 --> 01:00:49,719
I love you.
906
01:00:49,764 --> 01:00:52,755
Theodore, you don't fall in love
with someone like me.
907
01:00:52,803 --> 01:00:54,760
Why not?
908
01:00:54,804 --> 01:00:56,795
It's out of character.
909
01:00:56,844 --> 01:00:58,880
LYONS'. Ooh.
910
01:00:59,644 --> 01:01:00,759
Loins!
911
01:01:00,804 --> 01:01:03,715
- Loins'? You called me Loins.
- I didn't cal! you Loins.
912
01:01:03,763 --> 01:01:05,879
I called Loins Loins.
913
01:01:06,683 --> 01:01:08,798
Is Loins... ls Lyons in bed with you?
914
01:01:08,802 --> 01:01:12,760
Ah, no. He's just a butler. Don't be silly.
915
01:01:12,801 --> 01:01:14,757
He brought me a cup of tea.
916
01:01:16,682 --> 01:01:20,721
I want you lo promise me lo give up
all those men and come and live with me.
917
01:01:20,722 --> 01:01:21,871
And Mother.
918
01:01:23,721 --> 01:01:26,679
He wants me to promise
to give up all those other men
919
01:01:26,721 --> 01:01:29,678
and come and live with him...and Mother.
920
01:01:33,719 --> 01:01:35,711
I don't think that's a very good idea.
921
01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:38,637
- Why not?
- I'm happy where I am.
922
01:01:39,679 --> 01:01:41,671
How can you say that?
923
01:01:41,720 --> 01:01:43,675
Nobody loves you like I do.
924
01:01:43,759 --> 01:01:45,670
You're not in a position to refuse.
925
01:01:45,719 --> 01:01:47,788
I'm in a position to do anything I want.
926
01:01:48,878 --> 01:01:52,870
If you don't do what I ask,
I shall be forced to do something drastic.
927
01:01:54,877 --> 01:01:57,676
Now you're laughing at me again.
928
01:01:58,837 --> 01:02:00,748
Goodbye, Theodore.
929
01:02:00,797 --> 01:02:02,709
Don't call us.
930
01:02:02,758 --> 01:02:03,872
We'll call you.
931
01:02:06,837 --> 01:02:09,828
Oh, come on, Loins. It's time to get up.
932
01:02:09,836 --> 01:02:11,633
Very well, madam.
933
01:02:16,836 --> 01:02:20,669
Emmannuelle, come along! You know that...
934
01:02:20,715 --> 01:02:22,786
Emmannuelle, what on earth are you wearing?
935
01:02:22,836 --> 01:02:26,828
You're the one who's always complaining
about me walking around uncovered.
936
01:02:26,875 --> 01:02:28,865
I was hoping you would be ready.
937
01:02:30,674 --> 01:02:34,666
I am, chéri. I'm always ready.
Let's go into the library.
938
01:02:34,713 --> 01:02:37,706
Yes... I don't want to go into the library
to read books.
939
01:02:37,754 --> 01:02:38,788
Neither do I.
940
01:02:38,793 --> 01:02:42,627
We are supposed to be
attending an official function.
941
01:02:42,673 --> 01:02:46,791
I don't want to go to your function.
I do not like your functions. They are all boring.
942
01:02:46,873 --> 01:02:50,751
This is a football match. I am to present a cup.
943
01:02:50,752 --> 01:02:56,668
A football match, with all those
young, healthy men with big thighs?
944
01:02:56,752 --> 01:02:58,867
Hmm, but if you don't want to go,
I can't make you.
945
01:02:58,871 --> 01:03:01,749
Oh, give me time to get changed.
946
01:03:08,870 --> 01:03:10,622
What kept you?
947
01:04:27,702 --> 01:04:29,772
Get out there, quick!
948
01:04:50,860 --> 01:04:52,771
Oi!
949
01:04:55,699 --> 01:04:57,656
Come on. Get out. You're on.
950
01:06:07,652 --> 01:06:08,846
Where are the players?
951
01:06:33,649 --> 01:06:35,844
- Allo?
- Hello, Hany Hernia here.
952
01:06:36,649 --> 01:06:38,720
Remember the other night?
953
01:06:38,730 --> 01:06:41,607
Well, my trainer says it's OK until Friday,
954
01:06:41,649 --> 01:06:43,605
so how about it?
955
01:06:43,649 --> 01:06:45,798
- Where are you?
- I'll meet you in ten minutes
956
01:06:45,848 --> 01:06:47,804
outside your garden gate.
957
01:07:04,847 --> 01:07:07,679
Oh lé lé, Harry!
958
01:07:07,726 --> 01:07:10,717
I know you are a big man, but this is ridiculous.
959
01:07:11,765 --> 01:07:14,837
- Move!
- Must I? It's very nice like this.
960
01:07:15,604 --> 01:07:15,842
Get in!
961
01:07:28,684 --> 01:07:33,632
- Stan the car.
- Theodore, what is this all about?
962
01:07:33,643 --> 01:07:34,792
How do you know it's me?
963
01:07:36,842 --> 01:07:37,798
Stan the car.
964
01:07:38,604 --> 01:07:41,800
I will not. I'm going to have dinner
with my husband and the Foreign Secretary.
965
01:07:41,843 --> 01:07:44,676
They can wait. I'm kidnapping you.
966
01:07:44,723 --> 01:07:47,839
That's crazy. My husband
wouldn't give you one franc to get me back.
967
01:07:48,642 --> 01:07:52,793
Not for ransom. I'm making you my prisoner.
I'm going to keep you to myself.
968
01:07:52,801 --> 01:07:54,632
That's ridiculous.
969
01:07:54,681 --> 01:07:58,641
I warn you. I'm desperate. Stan the car.
970
01:07:59,642 --> 01:08:00,676
Non.
971
01:08:00,721 --> 01:08:02,791
- Why not?
- I can't drive.
972
01:08:02,801 --> 01:08:05,678
Oh, God! Why didn't you tell me?
973
01:08:05,720 --> 01:08:08,712
- You didn't ask me.
- Change over.
974
01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:09,715
Go on.
975
01:08:12,719 --> 01:08:14,789
ON. Ora-had.!
976
01:08:14,839 --> 01:08:16,794
It was worse on the Concorde.
977
01:08:19,760 --> 01:08:22,637
If you wanted to kidnap me properly,
978
01:08:22,679 --> 01:08:25,795
you should have sneaked into my bedroom
in the middle of the night,
979
01:08:26,838 --> 01:08:28,669
chloroformed me,
980
01:08:28,718 --> 01:08:31,834
and carried me over your back
to the car in a sack.
981
01:08:32,637 --> 01:08:34,673
I thought of that, only I've got a bad back.
982
01:08:41,717 --> 01:08:44,709
- You can't drive with one hand.
- Yes, I can.
983
01:08:45,757 --> 01:08:46,711
Theodore.
984
01:08:46,796 --> 01:08:50,630
- You're not going to kidnap me.
- I am.
985
01:08:50,636 --> 01:08:51,750
Aargh!
986
01:08:52,795 --> 01:08:55,628
- I don't think so.
- I can't drive lying down.
987
01:08:55,675 --> 01:08:57,744
Who is talking about driving?
988
01:08:57,794 --> 01:08:59,751
Ah, there, now don't! No, stop!
989
01:09:00,795 --> 01:09:02,626
Don't!
990
01:09:02,675 --> 01:09:03,824
Stop.
991
01:09:04,835 --> 01:09:06,665
Don't stop.
992
01:09:06,754 --> 01:09:10,747
Oh, Emmannuelle,
you're making it very hard for me.
993
01:09:26,792 --> 01:09:30,751
Emmannuelle, I may have to do
something ruthless to bring you to your senses.
994
01:09:32,831 --> 01:09:35,664
My editor won't be interested if it's not authentic.
995
01:09:35,711 --> 01:09:39,624
It's authentic, all right.
I've got the pictures here to prove it.
996
01:09:39,671 --> 01:09:41,786
Well, now, what else has this broad been up to?
997
01:09:41,830 --> 01:09:43,628
It's all down there.
998
01:09:45,751 --> 01:09:47,661
What's that?
999
01:09:47,710 --> 01:09:50,702
Blimey! And that was with the chauffeur, right?
1000
01:09:50,710 --> 01:09:51,778
Yeah, that's right.
1001
01:09:53,829 --> 01:09:56,706
We'll need substantiation before we can run this.
1002
01:09:56,748 --> 01:09:59,786
I've got everything -
photographs, names, places, dates.
1003
01:09:59,829 --> 01:10:01,784
And all on affidavits.
1004
01:10:03,588 --> 01:10:04,817
Foreplay with the butler.
1005
01:10:05,629 --> 01:10:08,700
- Did you use a wide-angle lens on this?
- I certainly did.
1006
01:10:09,708 --> 01:10:10,823
Aha! Ménage é trois
1007
01:10:11,587 --> 01:10:14,738
with a Soviet ambassador and a KGB man
at the Soviet embassy.
1008
01:10:14,827 --> 01:10:16,817
Sounds like a case of "reds on the bed".
1009
01:10:17,826 --> 01:10:22,775
Algolagnia with the Minister of Sport.
1010
01:10:22,786 --> 01:10:24,777
- What's that?
- I don't know. Here...
1011
01:10:26,706 --> 01:10:28,822
Algo...algolagnia...
1012
01:10:29,586 --> 01:10:32,657
Spanking! Here, you should know about that,
you old devil!
1013
01:10:33,745 --> 01:10:37,703
When it used to happen to me,
I didn't know you were supposed to enjoy it.
1014
01:10:37,744 --> 01:10:39,656
Theodore,
1015
01:10:39,705 --> 01:10:43,617
what does "coitus interruptus
with the Prime Minister" mean?
1016
01:10:43,664 --> 01:10:46,737
It means, Mother,
that the Prime Minister's a very busy man.
1017
01:10:46,744 --> 01:10:51,817
Pygmalionism: amorous attraction
directed towards a statue.
1018
01:10:53,583 --> 01:10:55,574
Stone the pigeons!
1019
01:10:55,623 --> 01:10:57,613
What next?
1020
01:10:57,662 --> 01:11:00,780
Accepted her punishment
from the Lord Chief Justice.
1021
01:11:00,783 --> 01:11:04,570
A bit of habeas corpus
with the police commissioner.
1022
01:11:04,622 --> 01:11:08,661
Played strip Monopoly
with the chairman of the Bank of England,
1023
01:11:08,702 --> 01:11:12,694
and got herself in a very united state
with the American ambassador.
1024
01:11:12,741 --> 01:11:14,697
Let me have a look.
1025
01:11:16,661 --> 01:11:18,730
I haven't got my glasses.
1026
01:11:18,780 --> 01:11:24,616
Aphrodite callipygous with the guest conductor
of the Royal Symphony Orchestra.
1027
01:11:24,660 --> 01:11:27,810
- Aphrodite calli...callipygous.
- It's all Greek to me.
1028
01:11:27,819 --> 01:11:32,574
It says, "Scopophilia
is the more urgent form of voyeurism."
1029
01:11:33,659 --> 01:11:34,728
Hm'?
1030
01:11:34,779 --> 01:11:37,656
The need to watch others undress.
1031
01:11:37,698 --> 01:11:40,577
Blimey, I've had that for years!
1032
01:11:40,619 --> 01:11:43,655
- Not with an entire football team.
- No, I'm a rugby man, mate.
1033
01:11:43,698 --> 01:11:44,767
Different shaped balls.
1034
01:11:44,818 --> 01:11:48,605
Because of his wife's alleged misconduct
in high places,
1035
01:11:48,617 --> 01:11:52,735
the President of the Republic has indicated
that the ambassador may be dismissed.
1036
01:11:52,777 --> 01:11:55,689
Because of the allegations,
the Soviet ambassador
1037
01:11:55,737 --> 01:12:00,606
sought political asylum in the Soviet Union...
l beg your pardon. That should read,
1038
01:12:00,657 --> 01:12:04,774
"The Soviet ambassador today was sent
to a political asylum in the Soviet Union. "
1039
01:12:04,816 --> 01:12:08,603
The Prime Minister said today,
'There's nothing to deny.
1040
01:12:08,655 --> 01:12:10,772
What good is proof without the evidence?'
1041
01:12:10,776 --> 01:12:12,731
The American ambassador said,
1042
01:12:12,775 --> 01:12:15,767
'Why don't you off
and mind your own business?'
1043
01:12:15,815 --> 01:12:18,692
- Will you all stand back?
- Could you move back?
1044
01:12:18,734 --> 01:12:22,568
- Move back, please, sir. Thank you.
- Where's the ambassador?
1045
01:12:22,614 --> 01:12:24,605
- Where's Emmannuelle?
- Any statement?
1046
01:12:24,614 --> 01:12:29,607
The ambassador and his lady wife
have asked me to tell you they are not at home.
1047
01:12:29,653 --> 01:12:32,725
And even if they were,
the answer would be, "No comment."
1048
01:12:32,773 --> 01:12:35,731
Hey, butler. You're the butler.
You must have seen something.
1049
01:12:35,773 --> 01:12:37,763
Yeah, tell us what the butler saw!
1050
01:12:37,812 --> 01:12:39,803
- No comment.
- Is it true
1051
01:12:40,613 --> 01:12:43,729
that she had an affair
with the all the domestic staff except you?
1052
01:12:43,772 --> 01:12:45,728
Ts that true?
1053
01:12:45,732 --> 01:12:47,643
That, sir, is quite untrue.
1054
01:12:47,731 --> 01:12:49,801
Ah, then the butler did do it!
1055
01:12:51,771 --> 01:12:52,806
No comment.
1056
01:12:55,651 --> 01:12:57,687
Don't like Harold Hump. Can't stand him.
1057
01:12:57,691 --> 01:13:00,569
That's funny. He can't stand you, either.
1058
01:13:00,611 --> 01:13:02,567
- Will you be quiet and listen?
- All right.
1059
01:13:02,651 --> 01:13:05,608
Hello, good evening, good night and welcome.
1060
01:13:06,650 --> 01:13:08,685
Not since the Keeler affair, or Watergate
1061
01:13:08,729 --> 01:13:12,608
has public interest been so aroused
in the affairs of state.
1062
01:13:12,609 --> 01:13:15,726
I refer, of course, to the case
of Madame Emmannuelle Prévert.
1063
01:13:17,689 --> 01:13:18,643
Sh!
1064
01:13:18,688 --> 01:13:22,648
Now Madame Prévert has consented,
and I use the word advisedly,
1065
01:13:22,689 --> 01:13:24,758
to be interviewed for the very first time.
1066
01:13:33,606 --> 01:13:34,801
- Madame Prévert.
- Pray-var.
1067
01:13:34,807 --> 01:13:36,604
I beg your pardon.
1068
01:13:41,687 --> 01:13:45,599
Madame Prévert, thank you for allowing me
to set the record straight
1069
01:13:45,646 --> 01:13:47,762
- for our viewers.
- Not at all.
1070
01:13:47,806 --> 01:13:52,560
Will you now take this opportunity
to deny the allegations made against you?
1071
01:13:52,605 --> 01:13:53,559
Non.
1072
01:13:53,604 --> 01:13:56,722
You won't take the opportunity?
Or you won't deny them?
1073
01:13:56,765 --> 01:13:58,755
- Which?
- Both.
1074
01:13:58,764 --> 01:14:00,641
He won't catch madam.
1075
01:14:00,684 --> 01:14:01,754
Quite! Yeah.
1076
01:14:01,805 --> 01:14:04,762
Do you deny the allegations
that have been made against you?
1077
01:14:04,804 --> 01:14:05,793
No.
1078
01:14:06,604 --> 01:14:07,753
Don? you mean yes?
1079
01:14:07,804 --> 01:14:09,759
No, I mean no.
1080
01:14:09,763 --> 01:14:13,550
You don't deny the allegations at all?
1081
01:14:13,602 --> 01:14:17,642
No. Apart from a little embellishment,
they are substantially true.
1082
01:14:17,723 --> 01:14:20,680
You mean, you're not going
to deny the allegations?
1083
01:14:20,682 --> 01:14:21,752
Why should I?
1084
01:14:21,803 --> 01:14:24,635
- Everybody else has.
- That's their problem.
1085
01:14:24,682 --> 01:14:27,594
- That's telling 'em, girl.
- Go it, madam!
1086
01:14:27,602 --> 01:14:28,750
Shh!
1087
01:14:28,801 --> 01:14:31,793
Wait a minute. Let's get this straight.
1088
01:14:33,600 --> 01:14:39,675
Is it true or false that you actually had an...
affectionate encounter with the Prime Minister?
1089
01:14:39,680 --> 01:14:41,672
True. I remember it quite well.
1090
01:14:41,721 --> 01:14:46,555
I don't always remember everyone
I have an affair with, but I remember him.
1091
01:14:46,600 --> 01:14:48,556
He was very charming.
1092
01:14:48,599 --> 01:14:52,638
He sandwiched me in between
a cabinet meeting and a visit from the unions.
1093
01:14:52,679 --> 01:14:54,669
Of course, he was a little distracted.
1094
01:14:54,718 --> 01:14:56,549
I bet he was!
1095
01:14:56,638 --> 01:14:57,753
A bit? Ha, ha!
1096
01:14:57,798 --> 01:14:59,754
So would I be.
1097
01:14:59,798 --> 01:15:00,787
Do you mind?
1098
01:15:01,599 --> 01:15:04,670
What about the other people
mentioned in the press?
1099
01:15:04,678 --> 01:15:08,591
Oh, they were all a bit distracted.
Busy people usually are.
1100
01:15:09,797 --> 01:15:11,674
- Really?
- That is why,
1101
01:15:11,717 --> 01:15:14,708
on occasions, I have to resort to variations.
1102
01:15:14,756 --> 01:15:18,715
- Do you realise what you're admitting?
- Yes.
1103
01:15:18,756 --> 01:15:22,591
Would you like to take this opportunity
to express your regrets
1104
01:15:22,637 --> 01:15:24,627
- over these affairs?
- Non.
1105
01:15:24,676 --> 01:15:26,712
You don't deny them and you don't regret them?
1106
01:15:26,716 --> 01:15:28,707
Yes, I don't.
1107
01:15:28,756 --> 01:15:31,633
Do you have a sense of right and wrong?
1108
01:15:31,675 --> 01:15:32,744
Oh, yes.
1109
01:15:32,795 --> 01:15:35,627
- Then you'll admit you did wrong?
- No.
1110
01:15:35,674 --> 01:15:40,589
Have you no qualms about the fact that your
actions are likely to bring down the government?
1111
01:15:40,634 --> 01:15:43,547
- That's very unlikely.
- Really?
1112
01:15:43,595 --> 01:15:47,712
The papers omitted to mention I'd given
equal time to the Leader of the Opposition.
1113
01:15:47,754 --> 01:15:52,668
He sandwiched me between a meeting
of the shadow cabinet and a game of golf.
1114
01:15:52,713 --> 01:15:54,668
I bet he kept his eye on the ball!
1115
01:15:54,712 --> 01:15:58,591
Must be the only man
who got a hole in one on the 19th!
1116
01:15:59,791 --> 01:16:01,670
But why?
1117
01:16:01,713 --> 01:16:05,591
Why did you,
an ambassador's wife, do all this?
1118
01:16:05,632 --> 01:16:09,590
Can you think of any better way
of winning friends for your country?
1119
01:16:10,791 --> 01:16:11,746
Look...
1120
01:16:13,791 --> 01:16:17,578
Do you share the philosophy
of certain other ladies
1121
01:16:17,630 --> 01:16:20,666
who have said that
by making love to many people,
1122
01:16:20,669 --> 01:16:23,743
they are expanding the frontiers
of human relationship?
1123
01:16:23,791 --> 01:16:25,621
No. This is...
1124
01:16:25,670 --> 01:16:26,659
How you say?
1125
01:16:26,710 --> 01:16:28,780
- ..Bullshit.
1126
01:16:30,629 --> 01:16:32,745
What about your husband?
1127
01:16:32,789 --> 01:16:34,699
Oh, he thinks it's bullshit, too.
1128
01:16:41,747 --> 01:16:43,626
What...what are you doing?
1129
01:16:43,669 --> 01:16:44,737
You talk too much.
1130
01:16:45,788 --> 01:16:47,699
We'll cut it there, OK?
1131
01:16:48,708 --> 01:16:50,584
It's live?
1132
01:16:50,627 --> 01:16:54,699
Whose bloody idea was that?
At least cut it off the one for the States, OK?
1133
01:16:54,746 --> 01:16:58,659
It's going out now, on satellite,
worldwide with translations?
1134
01:17:00,745 --> 01:17:03,544
Good night. What do you think you're doing?
1135
01:17:04,587 --> 01:17:06,656
Good...good night, everybody.
1136
01:17:06,706 --> 01:17:07,695
Thank you.
1137
01:17:07,746 --> 01:17:08,781
Cut it! Cut it!
1138
01:17:09,546 --> 01:17:10,694
What are you doing?
1139
01:17:10,785 --> 01:17:12,741
Cut. Cut to the commercial.
1140
01:17:12,745 --> 01:17:14,700
Cut, cut. Cut to the commercials.
1141
01:17:21,583 --> 01:17:23,540
At least it won't hurt the ratings.
1142
01:17:29,624 --> 01:17:31,579
Theodore?
1143
01:17:31,583 --> 01:17:32,652
- Theodore!
1144
01:17:32,703 --> 01:17:33,692
What are you doing?
1145
01:17:33,743 --> 01:17:35,573
Nothing, Mother!
1146
01:17:35,622 --> 01:17:38,580
You're not doing anything
naughty to yourself, are you,
1147
01:17:38,622 --> 01:17:40,657
like that disgusting boy in that novel?
1148
01:17:40,701 --> 01:17:43,580
No, Mother!
1149
01:17:43,622 --> 01:17:47,661
Well, I've got some lovely steamed chicken,
1150
01:17:47,702 --> 01:17:52,570
and mashed potatoes
with butter and parsley and herbs for you.
1151
01:17:52,621 --> 01:17:54,612
I'm not hungry, Mother.
1152
01:17:54,661 --> 01:17:56,651
But you haven't eaten for days.
1153
01:17:57,700 --> 01:17:59,691
You're not on hunger strike, are you?
1154
01:17:59,740 --> 01:18:00,774
Yes, Mother.
1155
01:18:01,539 --> 01:18:03,610
What, because of that dreadful girl?
1156
01:18:03,660 --> 01:18:05,695
Yes, Mother.
1157
01:18:05,739 --> 01:18:08,698
Then half the country must be starving.
1158
01:18:08,700 --> 01:18:12,738
Don't you understand? I loved Emmannuelle.
I can't live without her.
1159
01:18:12,779 --> 01:18:14,576
But...
1160
01:18:14,579 --> 01:18:16,534
I can't do anything right.
1161
01:18:25,697 --> 01:18:27,653
I'm going to shoot myself.
1162
01:18:27,737 --> 01:18:30,649
Oh, no, no, darling!
1163
01:18:30,697 --> 01:18:33,530
I must. I'm a failure.
1164
01:18:33,577 --> 01:18:36,693
You're all that Mummy's got
now that Daddy's gone.
1165
01:18:36,736 --> 01:18:39,534
I'm a complete failure.
1166
01:18:41,575 --> 01:18:42,644
- No!
1167
01:18:46,695 --> 01:18:48,686
I told you I was a failure. I missed.
1168
01:18:50,655 --> 01:18:52,691
Mummy's little teddy!
1169
01:18:55,574 --> 01:18:56,563
Ninety-nine.
1170
01:18:56,614 --> 01:18:57,683
Ninety-nine.
1171
01:18:57,694 --> 01:18:59,650
Ninety-nine. Ninety-nine.
1172
01:18:59,734 --> 01:19:02,611
- Say "ninety-nine."
- Ninety-nine.
1173
01:19:02,653 --> 01:19:03,769
Ninety-nine.
1174
01:19:04,574 --> 01:19:09,727
I see. This stems from the unfortunate accident
with that church spire.
1175
01:19:09,773 --> 01:19:11,684
Yes, you got the point.
1176
01:19:11,733 --> 01:19:13,769
No, you got the point.
1177
01:19:13,773 --> 01:19:18,562
And you're finding it difficult
to make love to your wife.
1178
01:19:18,612 --> 01:19:20,568
Yes. Can you help me?
1179
01:19:20,651 --> 01:19:22,721
You want me to make love to your wife?
1180
01:19:22,731 --> 01:19:26,519
Ah...no, certainly not!
I want you to help me to do it.
1181
01:19:26,611 --> 01:19:27,726
Jolly good.
1182
01:19:27,771 --> 01:19:29,727
Please drop your trousers.
1183
01:19:32,651 --> 01:19:34,528
I'm quite sure
1184
01:19:34,571 --> 01:19:37,687
your condition is psychological, not pathological.
1185
01:19:37,730 --> 01:19:42,678
There is absolutely no reason
why you cannot enjoy a perfectly
1186
01:19:42,729 --> 01:19:44,721
normal relationship with your wife.
1187
01:19:44,730 --> 01:19:48,608
But I've tried and tried.
1188
01:19:48,649 --> 01:19:51,720
And you can't raise any enthusiasm.
1189
01:19:51,768 --> 01:19:53,646
I can't raise anything.
1190
01:19:55,769 --> 01:19:57,724
You seem to have the right equipment.
1191
01:19:57,768 --> 01:19:59,599
You're very kind.
1192
01:20:00,728 --> 01:20:03,720
Oh, doctor, your hands are very cold.
1193
01:20:03,768 --> 01:20:04,723
Sorry.
1194
01:20:08,567 --> 01:20:09,522
Cough.
1195
01:20:10,607 --> 01:20:12,562
Yes. As I thought.
1196
01:20:12,606 --> 01:20:14,563
It's all in your mind.
1197
01:20:14,607 --> 01:20:15,676
Are you sure?
1198
01:20:15,727 --> 01:20:17,762
I'll prove it. Nurse!
1199
01:20:17,766 --> 01:20:20,724
Wait a minute.
I've got nothing on. I am not decent.
1200
01:20:20,766 --> 01:20:24,679
She's a nurse.
She is used to seeing things like that.
1201
01:20:26,645 --> 01:20:28,601
Open your coat, please, nurse.
1202
01:20:34,725 --> 01:20:36,635
Thank you, nurse.
1203
01:20:38,564 --> 01:20:39,633
You see.
1204
01:20:39,644 --> 01:20:42,715
There's nothing wrong with you.
You're making a fuss
1205
01:20:43,523 --> 01:20:46,674
- about such a little thing.
- I would not say that.
1206
01:20:54,762 --> 01:20:56,718
You will catch a cold in your eye.
1207
01:20:56,762 --> 01:20:58,718
It is incredible.
1208
01:20:59,522 --> 01:21:01,637
- What is?
- She must be in a very bad way.
1209
01:21:01,681 --> 01:21:03,637
What is it? Who's she got in bed now?
1210
01:21:03,681 --> 01:21:06,639
You'll never believe me when I tell you.
The ambassador.
1211
01:21:06,681 --> 01:21:08,558
- Which one?
- Her husband.
1212
01:21:09,601 --> 01:21:12,751
Oh! Well, I suppose a change
is as good as a rest.
1213
01:21:15,720 --> 01:21:17,756
That was wonderful, darling.
1214
01:21:17,760 --> 01:21:20,593
Think nothing of it.
1215
01:21:20,640 --> 01:21:24,553
It's good exercise. It builds up the lumber.
1216
01:21:24,600 --> 01:21:26,591
And your rectus abdominus.
1217
01:21:26,639 --> 01:21:28,595
- I'll tell you something else.
- What?
1218
01:21:28,639 --> 01:21:30,595
It's a lot better than pumping iron.
1219
01:21:33,678 --> 01:21:38,547
I've never stopped taking my pill since...
since I left school.
1220
01:21:39,558 --> 01:21:44,632
Well, the pill is only 99.99% safe, you know.
1221
01:21:44,678 --> 01:21:48,636
I'm afraid you are the unlucky 0.001.
1222
01:21:48,677 --> 01:21:50,633
I've never heard of that before.
1223
01:21:50,677 --> 01:21:52,667
I mean, I don't mind becoming a mother,
1224
01:21:52,716 --> 01:21:55,753
so long as it doesn't interrupt
with my love life too long.
1225
01:21:56,556 --> 01:22:01,676
I would respectfully suggest that a few months
lay-off might do you a world of good.
1226
01:22:02,715 --> 01:22:05,594
It might do the world a world of good, too.
1227
01:22:07,715 --> 01:22:11,674
Well, that's it, then. I think we should celebrate.
1228
01:22:11,715 --> 01:22:14,547
Why not? Let's go behind the screen.
1229
01:22:14,594 --> 01:22:14,753
For why?
1230
01:22:15,514 --> 01:22:18,585
To celebrate. I've been reading
all about how naughty you are,
1231
01:22:18,633 --> 01:22:21,592
and I'm thinking,
we both can be naughty together.
1232
01:22:21,674 --> 01:22:24,586
How dare you? I am a married lady.
1233
01:22:28,673 --> 01:22:29,628
Nurse?
1234
01:22:30,673 --> 01:22:32,549
Coming, doctor.
1235
01:22:32,592 --> 01:22:35,629
- Emile, I have some news for you.
- Yes? What is it, darling?
1236
01:22:35,672 --> 01:22:38,583
What would you say
to an addition to the household?
1237
01:22:38,631 --> 01:22:42,704
Oh, no, no, no. We already had the inflation.
Everything's going up.
1238
01:22:42,751 --> 01:22:47,586
There's Loins, Mrs Dangle, Leyland.
Even old Richmond's had a rise.
1239
01:22:47,631 --> 01:22:50,748
I am talking about a baby. I am pregnant.
1240
01:22:51,551 --> 01:22:53,666
Oh, I feel faint. I must sit down. Oh!
1241
01:22:53,710 --> 01:22:57,702
Oh, I've come over queer.
I'm going to be a father. Oh!
1242
01:22:57,749 --> 01:23:01,538
- You don't mind?
- Mind? I think it's wonderful.
1243
01:23:01,550 --> 01:23:04,621
So do I, but I don't understand
howl get a baby on the pill.
1244
01:23:04,669 --> 01:23:06,661
I have a confession to make to you.
1245
01:23:06,710 --> 01:23:11,624
I wanted to be the only man in your life
and I thought - motherhood.
1246
01:23:11,669 --> 01:23:16,583
- Motherhood?
- A devoted mother doesn't have time to dally.
1247
01:23:16,588 --> 01:23:21,536
- What are you telling me?
- When you were asleep, I took your pills away.
1248
01:23:21,587 --> 01:23:25,501
- But I haven't stopped taking them.
- You thought you were taking them,
1249
01:23:25,548 --> 01:23:29,745
but I got a chemist friend of mine to make up
a substitute and slotted them into your packet.
1250
01:23:30,547 --> 01:23:32,538
- Oh lé lé!
- You are angry?
1251
01:23:32,586 --> 01:23:36,738
No.50 all the time
I have been taking some harmless pills.
1252
01:23:37,506 --> 01:23:39,655
They weren't exactly harmless.
1253
01:23:39,705 --> 01:23:42,696
- What were they?
- They were fertility pills.
1254
01:23:46,706 --> 01:23:48,661
Hip hip...hooray!
1255
01:23:48,705 --> 01:23:50,696
Hip hip hooray!
1256
01:23:53,744 --> 01:23:55,655
Don't they look like their father?
1257
01:23:55,704 --> 01:23:58,501
♪ The woman is love crazy
1258
01:23:58,543 --> 01:23:59,692
♪ She's loving all night
1259
01:23:59,743 --> 01:24:02,576
♪ The woman is love crazy
1260
01:24:02,623 --> 01:24:03,737
♪ Won't stop for a bite
1261
01:24:04,543 --> 01:24:06,694
♪ The woman is love crazy
1262
01:24:06,744 --> 01:24:08,620
♪ She's out on her own
1263
01:24:08,663 --> 01:24:12,542
♪ Sometimes I work so hard
I wish she'd leave me alone
1264
01:24:12,543 --> 01:24:14,612
♪ The woman is love crazy
1265
01:24:14,662 --> 01:24:16,539
♪ She's loving all night
1266
01:24:16,622 --> 01:24:18,657
♪ The woman is love crazy
1267
01:24:18,701 --> 01:24:20,612
♪ Won't stop for a bite
1268
01:24:20,661 --> 01:24:22,652
♪ The woman is love crazy
1269
01:24:22,701 --> 01:24:24,656
♪ She's out on her own
1270
01:24:24,660 --> 01:24:28,654
♪ Sometimes it gets so hard
I just don't want to go home
1271
01:24:28,701 --> 01:24:30,692
♪ The woman is love crazy
1272
01:24:30,741 --> 01:24:32,652
♪ She's loving all night
1273
01:24:32,701 --> 01:24:34,656
♪ The woman is love crazy
1274
01:24:35,540 --> 01:24:37,496
♪ Won't stop for a bite
96945
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