Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:05,699
♪ The end of the
Civil War Was near ♪
2
00:00:05,723 --> 00:00:09,068
♪ When quite accidentally ♪
3
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:10,169
♪ A hero who sneezed ♪
4
00:00:10,193 --> 00:00:11,521
♪ Abruptly seized ♪
5
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:14,329
♪ Retreat And
reversed it to victory ♪
6
00:00:17,067 --> 00:00:19,345
♪ His Medal of Honor
Pleased and thrilled ♪
7
00:00:19,369 --> 00:00:22,015
♪ His proud little
Family group ♪
8
00:00:22,039 --> 00:00:24,501
♪ While pinning it on
Some blood was spilled ♪
9
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:27,103
♪ And so it was
planned He'd command ♪
10
00:00:27,127 --> 00:00:28,638
♪ F Troop! ♪
11
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:31,608
♪ Where Indian fights
Are colorful sights ♪
12
00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:34,010
♪ And nobody takes a lickin' ♪
13
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,897
♪ Where paleface and redskin ♪
14
00:00:36,921 --> 00:00:39,616
♪ Both turn chicken ♪
15
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,084
♪ When drilling and
fighting Get them down ♪
16
00:00:42,108 --> 00:00:44,654
♪ They know their
morale Can't droop ♪
17
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:47,708
♪ As long as they
all Relax in town ♪
18
00:00:47,732 --> 00:00:50,944
♪ Before they resume
With a bang and a boom ♪
19
00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,784
♪ F Troop! ♪
20
00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:59,779
Well, I think I licked that
cowlick for you, captain.
21
00:01:59,803 --> 00:02:00,947
Hm? Oh, good.
22
00:02:00,971 --> 00:02:02,349
Good for you, Dobbs.
23
00:02:02,373 --> 00:02:04,893
A little brushin' ought to
keep her down for sure.
24
00:02:07,378 --> 00:02:08,378
Ah.
25
00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:11,124
Say, I like that, Dobbs.
26
00:02:11,148 --> 00:02:12,526
So does my little gray mare.
27
00:02:12,550 --> 00:02:14,327
Every time I brush
her up like this,
28
00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:16,062
her tail flies up.
29
00:02:16,086 --> 00:02:18,331
Well, I'm afraid I'm going
to have to find another way
30
00:02:18,355 --> 00:02:19,533
to show my appreciation.
31
00:02:21,592 --> 00:02:23,353
You sure got a
keen wit, captain.
32
00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:24,520
Thank you.
33
00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:25,922
Here we go.
34
00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:28,679
D-D-Dobbs... haven't
you forgotten something?
35
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:31,961
Uh, what, sir?
36
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,763
Shaving soap.
37
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:36,187
That's why you're
captain, and I'm a private.
38
00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:40,002
Hi, Wilton.
39
00:02:40,026 --> 00:02:41,804
Mm... mm, later, Jane.
40
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:42,956
Hi, Jane.
41
00:02:42,980 --> 00:02:44,641
I'm giving the
captain my first shave.
42
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,464
I can see that.
43
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:48,727
Sorry about that, sir.
44
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,299
Thank you, Dobbs.
45
00:02:53,323 --> 00:02:55,468
Wilton, do you know
what this Saturday is?
46
00:02:55,492 --> 00:02:57,337
This is no time to
discuss it, Janey.
47
00:02:57,361 --> 00:03:00,257
It's the 23rd of the month.
Doesn't that ring a bell?
48
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:01,725
Jane, at a time like this,
49
00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:04,716
the 23rd does not ring any...
50
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,180
Wait a minute. Wait a minute...
51
00:03:07,204 --> 00:03:08,648
Wait... Wait... Wait a minute.
52
00:03:08,672 --> 00:03:10,784
Wait. That does ring a bell.
53
00:03:10,808 --> 00:03:12,618
I even wrote it down, here.
54
00:03:12,642 --> 00:03:14,554
I knew you wouldn't
forget, Wilton.
55
00:03:14,578 --> 00:03:15,888
Of course not.
56
00:03:15,912 --> 00:03:18,073
That's the day our treaty
with the Hekawis ends.
57
00:03:18,097 --> 00:03:20,042
It's also our anniversary.
58
00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:21,911
It'll be six months
this Saturday
59
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,663
that we first set
eyes on each other.
60
00:03:23,687 --> 00:03:25,899
Doesn't that mean
anything to you?
61
00:03:25,923 --> 00:03:28,702
Oh... Oh, why of course, Jane.
62
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:31,126
Happy anniversary.
63
00:03:33,530 --> 00:03:34,607
Oh. Captain...
64
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,743
Do you think you'll
have any trouble
65
00:03:36,767 --> 00:03:38,511
gettin' the new treaty
with the Hekawis?
66
00:03:38,535 --> 00:03:40,046
Oh, no... No, I don't think so.
67
00:03:40,070 --> 00:03:41,915
I better go find Sergeant
O'Rourke though,
68
00:03:41,939 --> 00:03:44,784
and... And get him to arrange a...
A powwow with Chief Wild Eagle.
69
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:47,587
We'll just ride up to their camp
and smoke the peace pipe.
70
00:03:47,611 --> 00:03:51,212
Why, I'll bet they'll sign
before the second pipefull.
71
00:03:55,085 --> 00:03:57,530
The Hekawis will
never sign a new treaty.
72
00:03:57,554 --> 00:03:58,798
You may be right, major.
73
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:00,700
Sir, every report we've
had from Washington
74
00:04:00,724 --> 00:04:02,034
has followed the same pattern.
75
00:04:02,058 --> 00:04:03,736
The Apaches refuse
to sign a new treaty,
76
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,005
the Comanches refuse to
sign, and so have the Sioux.
77
00:04:06,029 --> 00:04:08,408
Sounds like Geronimo has
finally talked to all the tribes
78
00:04:08,432 --> 00:04:10,009
into launching
full-scale attacks.
79
00:04:10,033 --> 00:04:12,479
By midnight on Saturday,
when the Hekawi treaty runs out,
80
00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:15,781
we can expect a full-scale
assault on Fort Courage.
81
00:04:15,805 --> 00:04:18,118
Oh, yes, that's F Troop,
82
00:04:18,142 --> 00:04:20,487
commanded by a
Captain Parmenter.
83
00:04:20,511 --> 00:04:22,788
I just had some urgent
correspondence with him.
84
00:04:22,812 --> 00:04:23,990
What did he say, sir?
85
00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:25,592
He wanted a barbers' manual.
86
00:04:25,616 --> 00:04:27,594
When the Hekawis
go on the warpath,
87
00:04:27,618 --> 00:04:29,429
they'll teach him
how to give haircuts.
88
00:04:29,453 --> 00:04:32,999
Major, as the new inspector
general of this territory,
89
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:34,967
I'm assigning you to
the Fort Courage area.
90
00:04:34,991 --> 00:04:36,686
I was hoping you
were gonna do that, sir.
91
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,521
It'll be your duty
to see that F Troop
92
00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:41,024
is a crack fighting unit.
93
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:43,193
It shouldn't be too difficult.
94
00:04:43,217 --> 00:04:46,763
We have this new
rifle I designed.
95
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,933
I think it's going to be
the gun that wins the West.
96
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,701
The cavalry will long remember
97
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:54,337
the name of Major
Chester Winster.
98
00:04:54,361 --> 00:04:55,805
Thank you, sir.
99
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,941
What are you going
to call your gun?
100
00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:01,644
"The Chest Winster '76."
101
00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:04,480
Let's hope those redskins
never get their hands
102
00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:06,216
on this amazing weapon.
103
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:10,086
Ready... aim... fire!
104
00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:13,689
That's beautiful.
105
00:05:13,713 --> 00:05:15,524
Wild Eagle, you've
done it again.
106
00:05:15,548 --> 00:05:17,693
Oh, perfect copy
of the real thing.
107
00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:19,595
They call it "the gun
that'll win the West."
108
00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:20,930
Hm. What West?
109
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:23,233
Oh, he doesn't mean this
West. He means the other West.
110
00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:25,101
Yeah, where the deer
and the antelope play.
111
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:27,103
Believe me, chief, your
share of the royalties
112
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:29,139
on that toy gun'll bring
you plenty of wampum.
113
00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:31,707
Who needs wampum? Send money.
114
00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:33,326
All right, how many
guns in that box?
115
00:05:33,350 --> 00:05:35,562
We have 24 guns in crate,
116
00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:40,834
and we will have 'nother 24
guns by time frost is on... pumpkin.
117
00:05:40,858 --> 00:05:42,384
When is the frost
on the pumpkin?
118
00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:45,254
Before beaver
starts building dam.
119
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:46,255
When is that?
120
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:49,291
Day after goose flies south.
121
00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:51,711
Couldn't you be a little
more specific, chief?
122
00:05:51,735 --> 00:05:52,846
How about Thursday?
123
00:05:52,870 --> 00:05:54,113
You got yourself a deal.
124
00:05:54,137 --> 00:05:55,781
Come on, Agarn,
give me a hand here.
125
00:05:57,341 --> 00:06:00,519
Sergeant, uh, why don't
you wait till guns are finished?
126
00:06:00,543 --> 00:06:02,355
Well, the guy that
owns the general store
127
00:06:02,379 --> 00:06:03,923
over in Dodge City
is due in Saturday
128
00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:05,291
to pick up his order.
129
00:06:05,315 --> 00:06:06,759
Sarge, he's gonna love 'em.
130
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,027
This is the best souvenir item
131
00:06:08,051 --> 00:06:10,029
since the flaming arrow
marshmallow roaster.
132
00:06:10,053 --> 00:06:12,598
Yeah, every kid in the territory
will have to have one of these
133
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:13,699
to play Cowboy and Indian.
134
00:06:13,723 --> 00:06:14,934
Cowboys and Indians?
135
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,952
What happened to
deer and antelope?
136
00:06:16,976 --> 00:06:18,154
Well, what I meant, chief...
137
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:20,523
Indians always the losers.
138
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:21,658
Don't feel bad, chief.
139
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:23,425
We're planning
another item for the kids
140
00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:27,163
I know you gonna
love... a toy massacre set.
141
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:29,431
Yeah, we got these toy
covered wagons all in a circle,
142
00:06:29,455 --> 00:06:31,734
and toy homesteaders
all laying around, dead.
143
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:33,536
Next to their toy scalps.
144
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,871
That, I like!
145
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,073
Ah, you stick with
O'Rourke Enterprises, chief.
146
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:39,575
You're gonna be up to your
feathers in... In silver dollars.
147
00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:40,576
Oh, shh!
148
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,111
What 's the matter?
149
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:45,281
I keep telling squaw
you pay me off in beads.
150
00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:46,983
Ah, good thinking.
151
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:48,384
Come on, Agarn.
152
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,819
Ah.
153
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,710
Hyah! Ha-ha!
154
00:06:58,618 --> 00:06:59,618
Vanderbilt.
155
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,237
Vanderbilt!
156
00:07:04,107 --> 00:07:05,267
What is it, Dobbs?
157
00:07:06,643 --> 00:07:08,687
I'm too tried to climb
up there and hit you.
158
00:07:08,711 --> 00:07:10,256
It's me, Agarn.
159
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,325
Have you seen any sign
of Sergeant O'Rourke?
160
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:13,877
No, thanks, Agarn.
161
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:15,161
I just had my coffee.
162
00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:17,313
I said have you seen
Sergeant O'Rourke...?
163
00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:18,815
Agarn, what are
you yelling about?
164
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:20,016
I've been...!
165
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,784
I've been looking
for you, sarge.
166
00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:23,986
The captain wants to see
us in his office right away.
167
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:24,987
All right, let's go.
168
00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:26,911
Yeah... Oh...
169
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:29,459
Uh, look, Dobbs,
170
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:31,327
if you're the least
bit unsure of yourself,
171
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,028
maybe we should do
this some other time.
172
00:07:33,052 --> 00:07:34,230
Oh, no, captain. I'm ready.
173
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,698
Since you ran out
of here yesterday
174
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:36,899
before I could shave you,
175
00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:38,668
I did more readin' in
my barbers' manual.
176
00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:40,603
Oh, uh... That... That's
a good idea, Dobbs.
177
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,304
You know, there's a
whole chapter in here
178
00:07:42,328 --> 00:07:43,473
on how to stop the bleedin'.
179
00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:46,464
Oh? That... That's
very comforting.
180
00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:53,490
Sergeant O'Rourke,
Corporal Agarn reporting, sir.
181
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,108
Uh...
182
00:08:03,132 --> 00:08:04,777
Have you men spoken
to Chief Wild Eagle
183
00:08:04,801 --> 00:08:05,862
about a treaty powwow?
184
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:07,330
Oh, yes, sir. I
spoke to the chief.
185
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:09,415
He said anytime it's good
for you, is good for him.
186
00:08:09,439 --> 00:08:11,817
Good, then you can set up a
meeting for Saturday morning.
187
00:08:11,841 --> 00:08:12,835
Right, sir.
188
00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:14,270
Dobbs, what are you doing
189
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:15,371
with a razor in your hand?
190
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:16,873
Oh, I'm giving the
captain a shave.
191
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:19,074
One nice thing about
having the bugler shave you:
192
00:08:19,098 --> 00:08:22,311
if anything goes wrong,
he can always blow "Taps."
193
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,595
Now, now, now.
194
00:08:23,619 --> 00:08:26,516
I have complete faith and
confidence in Private Dobbs.
195
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:27,820
Right, sir.
196
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:31,687
Hey... Hey, you're not going
to leave me alone, are you?
197
00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:34,424
Well, I will stay here
with you if you'd rather, sir.
198
00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:37,510
I'll stay, but I won't watch.
199
00:08:37,534 --> 00:08:39,328
Let's see, sir. I think
we're about ready.
200
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,797
I've got the razor sharpened,
the brush, the shaving soap.
201
00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:43,650
What about his last
will and testament?
202
00:08:44,841 --> 00:08:46,674
Agarn, you're a card.
203
00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:50,223
Ten-hut!
204
00:08:50,247 --> 00:08:51,262
Oh!
205
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,965
At ease, captain.
206
00:08:58,989 --> 00:09:01,367
Clean him off. I like to
look into a man's eyes
207
00:09:01,391 --> 00:09:02,501
when I'm speaking to him.
208
00:09:02,525 --> 00:09:04,425
Yes, sir.
209
00:09:06,196 --> 00:09:07,395
Thank you, Dobbs.
210
00:09:08,098 --> 00:09:09,141
Uh, major...
211
00:09:09,165 --> 00:09:11,710
I'm... I'm Captain
Wilton Parmenter,
212
00:09:11,734 --> 00:09:12,711
Sergeant O'Rourke,
213
00:09:12,735 --> 00:09:14,480
Corporal Agarn, Private Dobbs.
214
00:09:14,504 --> 00:09:15,714
I'm the new company barber.
215
00:09:15,738 --> 00:09:17,938
And I am the new
inspector general.
216
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:20,702
Oh, then you must be
Major Chester Winster.
217
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:23,539
The man who gave us
the Chest Winster '76.
218
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,275
The gun that will win the West.
219
00:09:25,299 --> 00:09:27,109
Our hottest item.
220
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:28,110
What was that?
221
00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:30,747
I said, if you can't
shoot 'em, bite 'em.
222
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,582
Uh, major, i-i-if you please.
223
00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:34,016
Uh, Private Dobbs, I'm sure,
224
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,519
would be happy to take you
on an inspection tour of the fort.
225
00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:37,970
I've already done
that, sergeant.
226
00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:38,971
Dobbs.
227
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:40,539
Uh, by leave, sir.
228
00:09:40,563 --> 00:09:41,908
Well, if... If you
have any ideas
229
00:09:41,932 --> 00:09:43,409
on how we can
improve the fort, sir,
230
00:09:43,433 --> 00:09:44,911
We're always open
to suggestions.
231
00:09:44,935 --> 00:09:47,679
I have only one idea as to
how this fort may be improved.
232
00:09:47,703 --> 00:09:48,680
Oh, what's that, sir?
233
00:09:48,704 --> 00:09:49,784
Condemn it.
234
00:09:51,441 --> 00:09:53,485
Major, I... I think you just
caught us at a bad time.
235
00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:55,388
Captain Parmenter,
this is the sorriest lot
236
00:09:55,412 --> 00:09:57,456
of cavalry troopers
I have ever seen.
237
00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,625
You'd do better to put
the uniforms on the horses.
238
00:09:59,649 --> 00:10:01,243
That might be difficult, sir.
239
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:02,629
You see, the
horse has four legs,
240
00:10:02,653 --> 00:10:06,198
and we have two
legs, and... Corporal!
241
00:10:06,222 --> 00:10:07,700
Captain Parmenter,
do you realize
242
00:10:07,724 --> 00:10:09,068
that when I rode into this fort,
243
00:10:09,092 --> 00:10:11,070
not one of your men
gave me a second look?
244
00:10:11,094 --> 00:10:13,706
And that soldier you have
stationed on the lookout tower...
245
00:10:13,730 --> 00:10:15,174
Oh, that would
be Vanderbilt, sir,
246
00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:16,942
the keenest
Indian-spotter in the West.
247
00:10:16,966 --> 00:10:18,177
Yes, sir.
248
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:20,346
He can hear a moccasin
step on a twig at 100 yards.
249
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,614
Oh, really?
250
00:10:21,638 --> 00:10:23,816
But when I shouted, "Hey,
you on the lookout tower,
251
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,235
have you seen any Indians?"
do you know what he answered?
252
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,220
No, sir.
253
00:10:27,244 --> 00:10:28,454
"I'd love to, corporal,
254
00:10:28,478 --> 00:10:30,172
but I don't know
how to square dance."
255
00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:31,607
Yeah, well, that's code, sir.
256
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:32,809
Mm. That's right.
257
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,510
And you were suppose to answer,
258
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:36,012
♪ Chase the possum
Chase raccoon ♪
259
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:37,580
♪ Chase that old
Red-tailed baboon ♪
260
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:39,182
♪ Oh, it jump up But
it never come down ♪
261
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:40,950
♪ Chase that pretty
girl Round and round ♪
262
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,419
♪ Ho-si-do and a
ho-si-way Away with... ♪
263
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:44,821
Yeah, actually, major,
264
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:46,689
you see, we're not
afraid of Indians, here.
265
00:10:46,713 --> 00:10:48,424
We have a peace
treaty with the Hekawis.
266
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,192
Oh... well... It... It
expires on Saturday,
267
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:52,194
but I'm sure we'll have
no trouble renewing it.
268
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:53,429
Renew it? Forget it.
269
00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:55,030
We're going to let
that treaty expire
270
00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:56,532
and wipe out the Hekawis.
271
00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:58,767
Humina... Hu... Hu...
Humina... Humina...
272
00:10:58,791 --> 00:10:59,902
Wipe out the Hekawi?
273
00:10:59,926 --> 00:11:01,504
Well, now, l-let's
not be hasty, sir.
274
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:03,972
Well, s-sir, we have to give
the Hekawis the opportunity
275
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:05,807
to renew the treaty.
276
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:07,576
Captain, I want to
give you an old saying
277
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,978
that may save your life.
278
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:14,004
"The only good Indian
is a dead Indian."
279
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:18,154
A-and I'd like to give
you an old saying
280
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,522
that may save your life.
281
00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:20,856
And what's that?
282
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,359
"Starve a cold
and feed a fever."
283
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:24,677
No, sir,
284
00:11:24,701 --> 00:11:27,397
I think it's, "Starve a
fever and feed a cold."
285
00:11:27,421 --> 00:11:28,564
You may be right, Agarn...
286
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:30,316
No, no. "It's feed a
cold, starve a fever."
287
00:11:30,340 --> 00:11:31,450
Now, my grandma says it's:
288
00:11:31,474 --> 00:11:33,386
"Starve a fever,
and feed a cold..."
289
00:11:33,410 --> 00:11:35,092
All right!
290
00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:38,707
We'll give the Hekawis a
chance to renew that treaty.
291
00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:40,693
I think that's certainly
a fair decision, sir.
292
00:11:40,717 --> 00:11:43,479
Well, I've arranged a powwow
with Chief, uh, Wild Eagle,
293
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:45,581
and, uh, I'm sure that
we'll have no problem, sir.
294
00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:47,816
As ranking officer, I will
make the negotiations.
295
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,302
Captain Parmenter, I want you
to keep your men standing by.
296
00:11:50,326 --> 00:11:51,503
Standing by for what?
297
00:11:51,527 --> 00:11:53,405
We're going to lay
down such tough terms
298
00:11:53,429 --> 00:11:55,425
that they'll never
re-sign the treaty.
299
00:11:55,449 --> 00:11:57,860
They won't? And
then what happens?
300
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,263
We can wipe 'em out
with a clear conscience.
301
00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:03,721
Captain... my quarters.
302
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,453
If he orders us to wipe
out those Hekawis,
303
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:09,388
we're gonna be in
some real trouble.
304
00:12:09,412 --> 00:12:11,090
There's always a
bright side, sarge.
305
00:12:11,114 --> 00:12:12,625
We might get lucky.
306
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,126
How?
307
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,484
They might wipe us out.
308
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:41,571
Careful, you make fire
too big, Chief Wild Eagle.
309
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:44,540
Sorry, Smokey Bear.
310
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:46,809
When soldiers coming, chief?
311
00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:48,111
Should come soon.
312
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:51,481
You go to lookout and
ask if he see them coming.
313
00:12:51,505 --> 00:12:55,985
Crazy Hawk, you
see sign of soldiers?
314
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:57,720
No thanks, Crazy Cat.
315
00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:59,810
Me just eat buffalo sandwich.
316
00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:02,913
You call tribe together.
317
00:13:12,842 --> 00:13:14,353
Enough with the drum.
318
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:16,477
The whole head just went.
319
00:13:17,780 --> 00:13:21,315
And now, a word from our chief.
320
00:13:22,752 --> 00:13:27,533
In few minutes, soldiers
come to sign treaty...
321
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,901
Sergeant O'Rourke say
new inspector general
322
00:13:29,925 --> 00:13:32,271
is trying to get...
You want to be chief,
323
00:13:32,295 --> 00:13:35,040
or you want to let me be chief?
324
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,742
Sorry.
325
00:13:36,766 --> 00:13:39,967
Now, another
word from our chief.
326
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:45,501
O'Rourke say new
inspector general
327
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:48,103
trying to make us break treaty.
328
00:13:48,127 --> 00:13:51,012
So we must show
we friendly Indian.
329
00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:55,661
Smile, bow, scrape a little.
330
00:13:55,685 --> 00:13:59,453
But always you must be...
You never give up, do you?
331
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,235
Still bucking for chief.
332
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:04,536
Sorry.
333
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:05,570
Sorry, sorry.
334
00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:07,811
Oh, here they come.
335
00:14:10,467 --> 00:14:12,834
Remember, be friendly.
336
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,918
I'm sure that you'll
find the Hekawis
337
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,720
a very friendly tribe, major.
338
00:14:21,744 --> 00:14:24,011
Sergeant, uh... Huh?
339
00:14:25,815 --> 00:14:27,860
See what I mean, sergeant?
340
00:14:27,884 --> 00:14:30,062
We probably interrupted
the council of war.
341
00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:31,096
Be alert, men.
342
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,554
We must be
prepared for anything.
343
00:14:39,262 --> 00:14:41,040
How.
344
00:14:41,064 --> 00:14:42,529
Me know how.
345
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:47,145
Well, you certainly can't
get any friendlier than that.
346
00:14:47,169 --> 00:14:49,381
She's probably trying
to throw me off my guard.
347
00:14:49,405 --> 00:14:51,867
I wish she'd throw me off mine.
348
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,620
Uh, chief, I want you to
meet Major Chester Winster.
349
00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:57,489
Pleasure to meet
great white father.
350
00:14:57,513 --> 00:14:59,625
You will like Hekawis.
351
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,426
Hekawis friendly people.
352
00:15:01,450 --> 00:15:04,963
Always smile, always
bow, always scrape.
353
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:06,521
Hekawis love everybody...
354
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:10,736
We came to discuss
the new treaty.
355
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,255
Where do you want me to sign?
356
00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:13,689
Oh, no.
357
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,958
This one is different
from the last treaty we had.
358
00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:17,960
Yeah, well, the chief
doesn't care about that.
359
00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:20,012
He just wants to live in
peace. Uh, right, chief?
360
00:15:20,036 --> 00:15:21,931
Where do you want me to sign?
361
00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:26,435
Under the new terms, the
Hekawis cannot carry knives,
362
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:30,405
tomahawks, bows and arrows,
guns or any other kind of weapon.
363
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,474
What? Well, under those terms,
364
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:34,376
they wouldn't be able
to hunt for their meat.
365
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,078
Hekawis vegetarians.
366
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,013
Friendly vegetarians.
367
00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:41,633
Furthermore, we are
establishing a curfew.
368
00:15:41,657 --> 00:15:45,571
Every member of the tribe
must be in his teepee by 7 p.m.
369
00:15:45,595 --> 00:15:47,290
Why so late?
370
00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:49,592
Um... And no member of the tribe
371
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:52,427
can wander off from their
camp more than 20 yards.
372
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:55,297
Anywhere you hang
your hat is home.
373
00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:57,099
Well, I guess that
covers the main points.
374
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,039
Just, uh, sign there
on the bottom, chief.
375
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:06,959
Well, major.
376
00:16:06,983 --> 00:16:08,399
I guess that takes care of that.
377
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:15,984
I'm sorry, major. I...
378
00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:19,071
I always get a little
emotional at treaty signings.
379
00:16:19,095 --> 00:16:20,956
I knew we wouldn't
have any trouble, Chief.
380
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,925
Hekawis friendly people.
381
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:24,264
We smile a lot.
382
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:26,633
We kiss a lot too.
383
00:16:28,938 --> 00:16:30,182
Oh.
384
00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:33,140
Well, that... That certainly
beats smoking a peace pipe.
385
00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:55,891
Attack the Hekawis?
386
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:56,925
You heard me, captain.
387
00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:58,594
But that would be
breaking the treaty.
388
00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:00,563
They broke the treaty
by hiding those rifles.
389
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:02,931
Oh, but, now, sir, I can't
honestly say I saw any rifles.
390
00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:04,600
You know, when I
fell into that teepee,
391
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:05,901
my head hit something sharp.
392
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:08,270
That was a crate
full of guns, you clod.
393
00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:10,005
Uh, you sent for us, sir?
394
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:13,342
Yes, the major wants
us to attack the Hekawis.
395
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:16,245
A defenseless tribe
that's in bed by 7:00?
396
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:17,746
Oh, sir. Never.
397
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:20,182
If we do that, we'll stir up
every tribe in this territory.
398
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,818
Did either of you see a crate
full of guns in that teepee?
399
00:17:22,842 --> 00:17:26,071
No, sir, I can't honestly
say that I saw any guns.
400
00:17:26,095 --> 00:17:29,041
I was looking right at
'em, and I didn't see 'em.
401
00:17:29,065 --> 00:17:31,543
Well, I should know a crate
full of my own rifles when I see it.
402
00:17:31,567 --> 00:17:33,512
You mean they had
the Chest Winster '76?
403
00:17:33,536 --> 00:17:36,348
The gun that will win the West.
404
00:17:36,372 --> 00:17:37,883
No... No, major.
405
00:17:37,907 --> 00:17:40,201
What you saw was
a box of old rifles
406
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:42,237
that the Hekawis
use for hunting.
407
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:43,906
They claimed to be vegetarians.
408
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,407
That's right, sir.
409
00:17:45,431 --> 00:17:48,660
They use the guns to keep the
birds away from the vegetables.
410
00:17:48,684 --> 00:17:51,346
Captain, I told you they
were only signing that treaty
411
00:17:51,370 --> 00:17:52,697
to gain time for a sneak attack.
412
00:17:52,721 --> 00:17:54,566
Well, they're not going
to get away with it.
413
00:17:54,590 --> 00:17:56,634
Uh, major, perhaps I
should take a scouting party
414
00:17:56,658 --> 00:17:57,903
and go up to the Hekawi camp.
415
00:17:57,927 --> 00:17:59,905
This is no time for a
scouting party, sergeant.
416
00:17:59,929 --> 00:18:02,374
Captain Parmenter, we are
launching a full-scale attack
417
00:18:02,398 --> 00:18:03,898
on the Hekawi tribe.
418
00:18:06,269 --> 00:18:08,981
Captain... Captain,
you just can't let him
419
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:10,582
attack our friends the Hekawis.
420
00:18:10,606 --> 00:18:12,617
It would be wholesale slaughter.
421
00:18:12,641 --> 00:18:15,053
And retail too.
422
00:18:15,077 --> 00:18:17,222
Look, I'm sorry, men,
but the major outranks me.
423
00:18:17,246 --> 00:18:19,457
Yeah, only with that
insignia on his shoulder,
424
00:18:19,481 --> 00:18:21,921
not here, where it counts.
425
00:18:22,885 --> 00:18:24,196
Corporal. Sir?
426
00:18:24,220 --> 00:18:26,899
You take a horse and sneak
out and go up to the Hekawi camp,
427
00:18:26,923 --> 00:18:28,400
and tell them to
run for the hills.
428
00:18:28,424 --> 00:18:31,203
I knew you wouldn't
let us down, sir, ho-ho.
429
00:18:31,227 --> 00:18:33,505
Is that a humane human being?
430
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:34,529
Mm.
431
00:18:37,166 --> 00:18:38,443
That sounds like "Assembly."
432
00:18:38,467 --> 00:18:40,467
It ain't the "Camptown Races."
433
00:18:48,644 --> 00:18:49,988
Men,
434
00:18:50,012 --> 00:18:53,125
in a few moments, we are going
on a very dangerous mission,
435
00:18:53,149 --> 00:18:55,644
deep into the heart
of the enemy camp.
436
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:59,603
Your assignment:
wipe out the Hekawis.
437
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,018
I will lead the attack.
438
00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:04,153
Sergeant O'Rourke.
439
00:19:04,177 --> 00:19:05,387
Right, sir.
440
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:14,663
Duffy, when was the last
time you cleaned that gun?
441
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:15,831
Ten minutes ago, sir.
442
00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:18,055
I have seen cleaner
barrels in a brewery.
443
00:19:21,010 --> 00:19:23,155
Hm! Hoffenmueller!
444
00:19:23,179 --> 00:19:24,639
You call that clean?
445
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,097
Ah!
446
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:29,110
Major, with your permission,
447
00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:30,712
I would like to issue
some new weapons
448
00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:33,815
that just arrived, the
Chest Winster '76s.
449
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,400
The gun that'll win the West.
450
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:36,473
Permission granted.
451
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,454
All right, men, fall
out to the wagon.
452
00:19:39,478 --> 00:19:41,924
Corporal Agarn is gonna
issue some new weapons.
453
00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:45,651
Go on.
454
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:04,646
Squaws are finished work
on another crate of guns.
455
00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:05,936
Mm-hm.
456
00:20:06,805 --> 00:20:10,006
Ah, good work, Crazy Cat.
457
00:20:12,177 --> 00:20:14,656
How you get squaws
to make them so fast?
458
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,791
There's wise, old Indian saying:
459
00:20:16,815 --> 00:20:20,362
"You show me raccoon
with nose in mud,
460
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:24,032
and I show you
squirrel with nut in tree."
461
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,934
What does that mean?
462
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:28,937
If I knew that, I'd be chief.
463
00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:34,064
Squirrel may have nut in
tree, but I think I got nut in tribe.
464
00:20:36,368 --> 00:20:38,113
I told you they had guns.
465
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:39,186
Look for yourselves.
466
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:44,086
By George, those rifles
look exactly like ours.
467
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:46,354
Sergeant, pass
the word to standby.
468
00:20:46,378 --> 00:20:48,057
Pass the word to standby.
469
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:49,124
Standby.
470
00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:50,558
Standby.
471
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:51,760
Standby.
472
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:53,061
Standby.
473
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,463
But, major,
474
00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:57,266
shouldn't our first objective
be to capture the rifles?
475
00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:58,267
Never.
476
00:20:58,291 --> 00:20:59,634
Always remember, captain,
477
00:20:59,658 --> 00:21:02,972
that a rifle is of no use
without a trigger finger.
478
00:21:02,996 --> 00:21:05,374
Well... But on the other
hand, a triggerless finger
479
00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:07,576
is no better than
a fingerless gun.
480
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,212
Which is somewhat like
having a fingerless finger
481
00:21:10,236 --> 00:21:11,813
and a hairless hand.
482
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:12,881
What?
483
00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:15,084
Which is somewhat...
Will you...?!
484
00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:16,585
Will you keep quiet?
485
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,720
Major, I think if
we're going to attack,
486
00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:20,622
now is the time.
487
00:21:20,646 --> 00:21:22,241
Right.
488
00:21:22,265 --> 00:21:24,209
Charge!
489
00:21:25,935 --> 00:21:27,079
Fire!
490
00:21:27,103 --> 00:21:28,980
No, no, major. Look,
they're surrendering.
491
00:21:29,004 --> 00:21:30,032
No surrender. Fire!
492
00:21:49,675 --> 00:21:51,325
Fire!
493
00:21:55,548 --> 00:21:57,381
Me love you too.
494
00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:01,563
Sergeant O'Rourke, what
kind of rifles are these?
495
00:22:01,587 --> 00:22:03,665
The Chest Winster '76, sir.
496
00:22:03,689 --> 00:22:06,035
The gun that's going
to lose the West.
497
00:22:06,059 --> 00:22:07,436
What is going on?
498
00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:09,087
Well, you've got us
surrounded, chief.
499
00:22:09,111 --> 00:22:10,104
All right, men.
500
00:22:10,128 --> 00:22:12,608
Put your hands up. We surrender.
501
00:22:13,199 --> 00:22:15,160
I wanna die with my boots on.
502
00:22:15,184 --> 00:22:17,463
And you say I'm a nut.
503
00:22:17,487 --> 00:22:21,449
Major, the better part of valor
is to live to fight another day.
504
00:22:21,473 --> 00:22:23,485
Oh, all right, I surrender.
505
00:22:23,509 --> 00:22:25,554
Hekawis win at last!
506
00:22:25,578 --> 00:22:28,157
Uh, Chief Wild Eagle,
I'd like to apologize
507
00:22:28,181 --> 00:22:30,859
for this surprise attack a-and
go back to our old treaty.
508
00:22:30,883 --> 00:22:32,861
All right, we go
back to old treaty.
509
00:22:32,885 --> 00:22:35,230
Hekawis not sore winners.
510
00:22:35,254 --> 00:22:37,432
That's very sporting
of you, chief, hm.
511
00:22:37,456 --> 00:22:39,868
All right, men, you can
put your hands down now.
512
00:22:39,892 --> 00:22:41,172
Keep your hands up.
513
00:22:42,428 --> 00:22:44,622
Want to show off for neighbors.
514
00:22:44,646 --> 00:22:46,724
Ah, chief. Come...
Back to the fort.
515
00:22:46,748 --> 00:22:48,476
Go on, go on.
516
00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:49,717
It was in the factory.
517
00:22:51,053 --> 00:22:52,430
That's it.
518
00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:54,099
That's it!
519
00:22:54,123 --> 00:22:56,568
The factory made a mistake!
520
00:22:56,592 --> 00:22:59,004
Oh, I couldn't
be wrong. I had...
521
00:22:59,028 --> 00:23:01,924
T-ten years. Ten years
I spent on this rifle.
522
00:23:01,948 --> 00:23:04,026
What that all about, O'Rourke?
523
00:23:04,050 --> 00:23:07,146
Ah, that hard-nosed major
wanted us to wipe out the Hekawis.
524
00:23:07,170 --> 00:23:09,064
Wipe us out with toy guns?
525
00:23:09,088 --> 00:23:10,432
But the major didn't know that.
526
00:23:10,456 --> 00:23:12,017
He thought these were real guns.
527
00:23:12,041 --> 00:23:13,185
With real bullets?
528
00:23:13,209 --> 00:23:14,224
Yeah.
529
00:23:16,429 --> 00:23:18,890
And he wants to be chief.
530
00:23:18,914 --> 00:23:20,775
Yeah, if I hadn't have
switched these guns,
531
00:23:20,799 --> 00:23:23,239
today could have been
the last of the Hekawis, hm.
532
00:23:28,373 --> 00:23:31,392
I think there's a job
open here for a chief.
533
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,682
Troop, ten-hut!
534
00:23:42,521 --> 00:23:45,233
Well, I certainly hope you
have a pleasant trip back, major.
535
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:46,634
Thank you, captain.
536
00:23:46,658 --> 00:23:49,104
And I'm sure you'll get
the bugs out of your rifle.
537
00:23:49,128 --> 00:23:51,306
I still don't know
how that happened.
538
00:23:51,330 --> 00:23:53,108
You can bet your
life I'll track it down.
539
00:23:53,132 --> 00:23:55,012
Oh, I'm sure you will, sir.
540
00:23:55,134 --> 00:23:57,835
Present arms!
541
00:24:00,989 --> 00:24:02,567
I may as well warn you, captain,
542
00:24:02,591 --> 00:24:04,068
that as the new
inspector general,
543
00:24:04,092 --> 00:24:07,138
I'll be making these surprise
visits pretty frequently.
544
00:24:07,162 --> 00:24:09,007
Well, as far as F Troop
is concerned, major,
545
00:24:09,031 --> 00:24:10,975
you'll find the welcome
mat always out for you.
546
00:24:10,999 --> 00:24:12,800
You may regret
saying that, captain.
547
00:24:14,687 --> 00:24:16,437
Cannon, salute.
37443
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
