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00:00:04,851 --> 00:00:06,653
[Arnie] Previously on
I'm Dying Up Here...
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00:00:06,733 --> 00:00:09,036
I saw you on Carson.
Your answering service
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00:00:09,136 --> 00:00:11,278
could barely speak, and
then she hung up on me.
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00:00:11,378 --> 00:00:14,962
[Teddy] I will give you
half the door, cash.
5
00:00:15,062 --> 00:00:16,443
He's betting on a junkie.
6
00:00:16,543 --> 00:00:18,025
And you're offering...
what was it again?
7
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:20,027
You ever think that maybe
I'm not that nice a guy?
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00:00:20,107 --> 00:00:23,050
- [applause]
- [Cassie] Not for a second.
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00:00:23,150 --> 00:00:24,811
We're not friends.
10
00:00:24,911 --> 00:00:26,313
[Ralph] Uh-oh, you don't
think I get respect?
11
00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:27,394
[Adam] What you think, you made it?
12
00:00:27,474 --> 00:00:28,435
Think this sorry-ass bar you made
13
00:00:28,515 --> 00:00:30,097
or any of this mean shit to me?
14
00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,558
[Sonja] We like to think of
ourselves as courtesans,
15
00:00:31,638 --> 00:00:33,660
here to entertain members of nobility.
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00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:35,242
Can't believe Barton didn't say nothing
17
00:00:35,322 --> 00:00:37,104
about this place being a whorehouse.
18
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,485
- [police siren blaring]
- Don't worry,
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00:00:38,565 --> 00:00:39,726
I'm gonna take care of everything.
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00:00:39,806 --> 00:00:41,448
He did not have anything
to do with this.
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00:00:41,528 --> 00:00:43,130
If you're released now, it's
like it never happened.
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00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,831
This offer doesn't extend to him.
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00:00:44,931 --> 00:00:46,353
I'm good with that.
24
00:00:46,453 --> 00:00:48,015
Can't afford to pay you right now, Hoss.
25
00:00:48,095 --> 00:00:49,316
No need. It's already paid.
26
00:00:49,416 --> 00:00:51,938
Who the fuck is Barton Royce?
27
00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:57,804
? jazz music ?
28
00:00:57,904 --> 00:01:03,290
???
29
00:01:03,390 --> 00:01:04,431
[Edgar] Are you having
a good time, ma'am?
30
00:01:04,511 --> 00:01:05,572
Really? All right.
31
00:01:05,672 --> 00:01:07,334
Tell your face.
32
00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:11,778
[laughter]
33
00:01:11,878 --> 00:01:13,520
[Sully] Guys, Vietnam's
coming to an end.
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00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:15,622
That means what?
35
00:01:15,722 --> 00:01:17,424
Comedians are coming home...
36
00:01:17,524 --> 00:01:18,425
from Canada.
37
00:01:18,525 --> 00:01:19,987
[wild laughter]
38
00:01:20,087 --> 00:01:21,368
[Adam] I used to do a
lot of handyman work,
39
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:22,910
growing up.
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00:01:23,010 --> 00:01:25,552
Mostly because my dad
was in the business...
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00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:27,354
of breaking shit.
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00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:31,378
[laughter continues]
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00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:35,642
[Cassie] Well, what are
you doing in here?
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00:01:35,742 --> 00:01:37,824
That hooker in the trunk
ain't gonna bury herself.
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00:01:37,904 --> 00:01:43,210
[laughter]
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00:01:43,310 --> 00:01:44,631
[Edgar] All right, thank you, folks.
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00:01:44,711 --> 00:01:45,933
You've been a...
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00:01:46,033 --> 00:01:47,114
slightly above average crowd.
49
00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:52,079
[laughter and applause]
50
00:01:55,122 --> 00:01:57,904
[children laughing]
51
00:01:58,004 --> 00:02:02,669
[Adam] [muffled yelling]
52
00:02:02,769 --> 00:02:07,674
[laughter]
53
00:02:07,774 --> 00:02:09,957
Hey!
54
00:02:10,057 --> 00:02:11,278
Help!
55
00:02:11,378 --> 00:02:13,520
[laughter]
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00:02:13,620 --> 00:02:16,163
- Oh, here we go, here we go.
- It's okay, baby, Mama's here.
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00:02:16,263 --> 00:02:17,724
Here we go.
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00:02:17,824 --> 00:02:19,306
You two can't look out
for your baby brother?
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00:02:19,386 --> 00:02:21,048
[Parnell] Ain't no goddamn baby, Verna.
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00:02:21,148 --> 00:02:22,649
The boy needs some toughening up.
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00:02:22,749 --> 00:02:24,131
You the one that's hurting him.
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00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:26,233
[Parnell] I ain't got
time for this shit.
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00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:29,056
You okay, baby?
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00:02:29,156 --> 00:02:32,659
They said it would be more
fun than a Ferris wheel.
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00:02:32,759 --> 00:02:34,761
They said?
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00:02:38,645 --> 00:02:41,628
I ain't always gon' be here, so
you listen up good, you hear?
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00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:43,790
They two kind of people out there,
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00:02:43,890 --> 00:02:45,993
discerners and fools.
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00:02:46,093 --> 00:02:48,515
Discerner know the difference
between what people say
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00:02:48,615 --> 00:02:49,796
and what people mean.
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00:02:49,896 --> 00:02:54,481
Fools... only hear what
they want to hear.
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00:02:54,581 --> 00:02:56,723
You got to know the
difference out there.
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00:02:56,823 --> 00:02:58,605
You hear me, Adam?
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00:02:58,705 --> 00:03:00,167
How I know, Mama?
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00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:02,489
You watch they eyes.
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00:03:02,589 --> 00:03:07,494
A mouth smile easy, but not eyes.
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00:03:07,594 --> 00:03:11,498
[Al] So my wife's new husband
is younger, better looking,
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00:03:11,598 --> 00:03:14,181
better job, bigger dick...
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00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:15,542
[laughter]
80
00:03:15,642 --> 00:03:19,506
nicer car. Why would she leave me?
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00:03:19,606 --> 00:03:22,389
Just because I made noise when I chew?
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00:03:22,489 --> 00:03:24,431
Well, she made noise when she chewed...
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00:03:24,531 --> 00:03:26,233
his cock in my bed.
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00:03:26,333 --> 00:03:28,355
[laughter]
85
00:03:28,455 --> 00:03:29,476
Hey.
86
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:30,957
[Al] The kids were home. [laughter]
87
00:03:31,057 --> 00:03:32,479
Hey, keep it tight.
88
00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:34,561
Haul ass offstage when
you see that light.
89
00:03:34,661 --> 00:03:36,243
[Al] I'm back in the dating world.
90
00:03:36,343 --> 00:03:37,804
- [Al] Nobody knows.
- Man, look.
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00:03:37,904 --> 00:03:39,646
About the other night, I'm sorry.
92
00:03:39,746 --> 00:03:41,808
Okay, you were cool and I wasn't.
93
00:03:41,908 --> 00:03:43,290
It won't happen again.
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00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,572
It's disrespectful to the next comic
95
00:03:45,672 --> 00:03:47,534
when you running the light.
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00:03:47,634 --> 00:03:49,616
Disrespect for who? Fucking Randy?
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00:03:49,716 --> 00:03:51,738
Didn't you say he was as
funny as a dick pimple?
98
00:03:51,838 --> 00:03:55,422
Randy open mic'd for three
years before he got down here.
99
00:03:55,522 --> 00:03:56,743
You know, he didn't leapfrog
100
00:03:56,843 --> 00:03:58,705
'cause he built some fucking shelves.
101
00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:02,349
That deserves some respect. You dig?
102
00:04:02,449 --> 00:04:04,451
Yeah. Whatever, nigga.
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00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:09,756
You don't ever get to call me that.
104
00:04:09,856 --> 00:04:13,720
And if you roll your
motherfucking eyes at me again,
105
00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:16,443
your head is gon' be rolling after it.
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00:04:16,543 --> 00:04:18,885
You understand that?
107
00:04:18,985 --> 00:04:21,088
[Al] That's my time.
Clap for me, please.
108
00:04:21,188 --> 00:04:23,450
Mind the fucking light.
109
00:04:23,550 --> 00:04:25,892
[cheers and applause]
110
00:04:25,992 --> 00:04:27,174
[laughter]
111
00:04:27,274 --> 00:04:29,516
I know what you're thinking.
I look like Danny Partridge
112
00:04:29,596 --> 00:04:32,819
if his mom kicked him out of the band.
113
00:04:32,919 --> 00:04:34,201
Wonder if there were some family members
114
00:04:34,281 --> 00:04:35,882
that didn't pass the audition, you know?
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00:04:35,962 --> 00:04:39,226
Like, behind the long bus
there's a little short bus.
116
00:04:39,326 --> 00:04:42,028
Poor kid, Patrick Partridge,
sitting back there wondering,
117
00:04:42,128 --> 00:04:43,370
"Why can't I shake the tambourine
118
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:46,353
or hit the triangle or something?"
119
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,515
I hear you're having
dinner with Roy Brenner.
120
00:04:48,615 --> 00:04:49,596
Yeah.
121
00:04:49,696 --> 00:04:51,318
Somebody was harping in his ear.
122
00:04:51,418 --> 00:04:53,640
Eh. [laughs]
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00:04:53,740 --> 00:04:55,742
Thought I'd use the guy's pain.
124
00:04:57,304 --> 00:04:59,966
Little inside information on Brenner.
125
00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:02,249
He doesn't like hard to get.
126
00:05:02,349 --> 00:05:06,052
So do me a favor and quit acting
like you're doing him a favor.
127
00:05:06,152 --> 00:05:09,416
You want this. You want
it more than anyone,
128
00:05:09,516 --> 00:05:11,518
so woo him.
129
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:14,561
Here I thought he was supposed
to be kissing my ass.
130
00:05:14,641 --> 00:05:15,942
[chuckles]
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00:05:16,042 --> 00:05:17,704
Your career's got about five minutes
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00:05:17,804 --> 00:05:20,787
before it goes the way of
the Emperor's new clothes.
133
00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:23,310
And right now, everyone
is contorting themselves
134
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:26,393
to keep you from fucking yourself up,
135
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,814
but it's all just piss in the wind
136
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:31,298
if you can't get out of your own way.
137
00:05:33,019 --> 00:05:33,920
Any tips?
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00:05:34,020 --> 00:05:35,362
[chuckles] Yeah.
139
00:05:35,462 --> 00:05:37,924
Don't talk with your mouth full.
140
00:05:38,024 --> 00:05:40,687
? tense music ?
141
00:05:40,787 --> 00:05:44,331
[laughter]
142
00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:45,932
It wasn't even a kiss.
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00:05:46,032 --> 00:05:48,395
I mean, I basically punched her
in the face with my mouth.
144
00:05:48,475 --> 00:05:50,477
Maybe she'll even the score,
punch you in your vagina.
145
00:05:50,557 --> 00:05:52,499
[scoffs] You're an asshole.
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00:05:52,599 --> 00:05:54,160
I'm gonna pretend that's
the estrogen talking.
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00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,343
Mm-hmm.
148
00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:58,064
Read this. Changed my life.
149
00:05:58,164 --> 00:05:59,786
It's all about positive thinking.
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00:05:59,886 --> 00:06:01,448
No offense, but your life's
kind of the only thing
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00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,169
that makes me feel
positive about my life.
152
00:06:03,249 --> 00:06:04,911
Mm, that's very funny.
153
00:06:05,011 --> 00:06:06,953
"The Unbelievable Power of Believing."
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00:06:07,053 --> 00:06:08,875
$7.95. Oh.
155
00:06:08,975 --> 00:06:11,298
Do you realize how many unicorns
you could have bought with this?
156
00:06:11,378 --> 00:06:13,720
After I read this book, I got
fired from "Let's Make a Deal."
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00:06:13,820 --> 00:06:15,101
Well, it sounds like you read this book
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00:06:15,181 --> 00:06:16,583
and then something
shitty happened to you.
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00:06:16,663 --> 00:06:18,505
[laughs] Getting fired
from "Let's Make a Deal"
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00:06:18,585 --> 00:06:19,706
was a gift from the universe.
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00:06:19,786 --> 00:06:20,987
If you believe that good things
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00:06:21,067 --> 00:06:22,349
will happen to you, then they do.
163
00:06:22,429 --> 00:06:23,750
How do you explain
sleeping with Arnie then?
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00:06:23,830 --> 00:06:25,071
Yeah, what else does the universe have
165
00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:26,853
in store for you, besides hepatitis?
166
00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:29,035
Right, okay, fine, if you
don't believe in believing,
167
00:06:29,115 --> 00:06:30,136
then it's your loss.
168
00:06:30,236 --> 00:06:32,238
Hm.
169
00:06:40,086 --> 00:06:42,629
[man] Edgar? Edgar Martinez?
170
00:06:42,729 --> 00:06:44,311
Yeah. What took you so long?
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00:06:44,411 --> 00:06:45,872
Unlike Uncle Hitler behind me,
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00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:47,834
I've been holding a shit for three days.
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00:06:47,934 --> 00:06:50,477
I've reviewed your case file and...
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00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,198
you should turn state's evidence.
175
00:06:52,298 --> 00:06:55,562
You mean snitch? No fucking way, man.
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00:06:55,662 --> 00:06:57,324
I ain't no snitch.
177
00:06:57,424 --> 00:06:59,085
No, you're a drug trafficker,
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00:06:59,185 --> 00:07:01,007
and transporting drugs over state lines
179
00:07:01,107 --> 00:07:03,890
means if found guilty, you're
facing a minimum sentence
180
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:05,992
of nine years in prison.
181
00:07:07,714 --> 00:07:09,836
All right, the guy you're
looking for is Carlos Mendoza,
182
00:07:09,916 --> 00:07:11,237
goes by Big Chewy in the street.
183
00:07:11,317 --> 00:07:14,661
His address is 727 North Barclay Avenue,
184
00:07:14,761 --> 00:07:16,743
apartment 3. He also works
185
00:07:16,843 --> 00:07:19,546
with his cousins,
Santiago and Juan Diego.
186
00:07:19,646 --> 00:07:22,509
They have a pit bull, but
don't worry, it's blind.
187
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,772
Are you writing this down?
? jazz music ?
188
00:07:25,852 --> 00:07:27,794
Hey, you seen Eddie?
189
00:07:27,894 --> 00:07:29,696
'Cause the last guy who
kissed me and ran away
190
00:07:29,776 --> 00:07:31,097
at least had the decency to come back
191
00:07:31,177 --> 00:07:33,239
and push me in the dirt after recess.
192
00:07:33,339 --> 00:07:35,522
Did... did something
happen the other night?
193
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,964
Because... that's weird,
I talked to Eddie,
194
00:07:38,064 --> 00:07:41,568
and he didn't mention anything about...
about the other night.
195
00:07:41,668 --> 00:07:43,610
Wow, you're a terrible actor.
196
00:07:43,710 --> 00:07:45,171
[clears throat] It was that bad?
197
00:07:45,271 --> 00:07:46,673
Yeah, I'm tempted to re-enter
and let you try that again.
198
00:07:46,753 --> 00:07:47,654
[laughs]
199
00:07:47,754 --> 00:07:50,497
What's with the book, man?
200
00:07:50,597 --> 00:07:52,779
Cassie, I'm tired of living in a closet.
201
00:07:52,879 --> 00:07:54,140
- [scoffs]
- Not getting laid,
202
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,663
not getting paid. I
mean, I've been blind,
203
00:07:56,763 --> 00:07:59,586
and this book has given me sight,
204
00:07:59,686 --> 00:08:02,629
because if you can believe
it, you can achieve it.
205
00:08:02,729 --> 00:08:03,910
It's all in there.
206
00:08:04,010 --> 00:08:05,151
- Wow.
- Mm-hmm.
207
00:08:05,251 --> 00:08:06,773
That's actually pretty impressive.
208
00:08:06,853 --> 00:08:08,014
I'm gonna have to borrow
this when you're done.
209
00:08:08,094 --> 00:08:10,537
What chapter are you on? 12.
210
00:08:10,617 --> 00:08:12,719
Page 12, but... those 12 pages
211
00:08:12,819 --> 00:08:16,002
are chock full of
life-changing information.
212
00:08:16,102 --> 00:08:17,684
???
213
00:08:17,784 --> 00:08:19,486
Oh, uh, excuse me, can I help you?
214
00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:20,667
Yeah, just grabbing a booth.
215
00:08:20,747 --> 00:08:21,868
[Cassie] Tell Eddie to call me, okay?
216
00:08:21,948 --> 00:08:23,570
Yep. Uh, I'm... I'm sorry, sir,
217
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,992
we actually don't have any
booths available at the moment.
218
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:27,594
Well, what about this one right here?
219
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:30,176
Oh, no, I'm sorry. That...
that booth is reserved...
220
00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:31,898
for President Grant.
221
00:08:31,998 --> 00:08:34,300
President Grant died 100 years ago,
222
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:35,622
so I don't think he'll mind.
223
00:08:35,722 --> 00:08:38,184
Okay. Uh, how about President Jackson?
224
00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:41,067
Also dead, but we'll
move if he shows up.
225
00:08:41,167 --> 00:08:42,128
Come on, honey, have a seat.
226
00:08:42,208 --> 00:08:43,790
Sir, uh,
227
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:45,371
you know that I'm... I'm
talking about money, right?
228
00:08:45,452 --> 00:08:47,554
Amazingly, yes.
229
00:08:47,654 --> 00:08:49,736
Did I start too high? I was
gonna start with Lincoln,
230
00:08:49,816 --> 00:08:51,157
but then I was like, "Seriously,
231
00:08:51,257 --> 00:08:52,659
who wants to sit in a booth
reserved for Lincoln?"
232
00:08:52,739 --> 00:08:54,741
Yeah, another time.
233
00:08:55,822 --> 00:08:58,725
? jazz music ?
234
00:08:58,825 --> 00:09:03,710
???
235
00:09:05,391 --> 00:09:08,274
[whistling]
236
00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:13,820
[Goldie] Mm.
237
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,562
Not sure who it's from,
but whoever it is,
238
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,303
they're puckered up. [laughs]
239
00:09:17,403 --> 00:09:20,507
Oh, hey, Arnie, this show
is chewing up my schedule.
240
00:09:20,607 --> 00:09:22,549
I'm gonna need you to
step up around here...
241
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:25,632
set the lineup, not just for
the Cellar and Open Mic,
242
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:26,753
Main Stage too.
243
00:09:26,853 --> 00:09:27,914
Main Stage?
244
00:09:28,014 --> 00:09:29,956
Oh, I'm honored.
245
00:09:30,056 --> 00:09:33,119
And please know that whatever
additional responsibilities
246
00:09:33,219 --> 00:09:35,562
you might find necessary on my part
247
00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:38,845
to keep your empire running...
are welcome.
248
00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:40,366
Just give the word.
249
00:09:40,466 --> 00:09:43,009
Easy, Mussolini, just
keep the trains running.
250
00:09:43,109 --> 00:09:44,030
- [Cassie] Hi.
- [knocks on the door]
251
00:09:44,110 --> 00:09:45,011
[Goldie] Hey, honey.
252
00:09:45,111 --> 00:09:47,093
Can I talk to you alone?
253
00:09:47,193 --> 00:09:48,615
Yeah, Arnie was just leaving.
254
00:09:48,715 --> 00:09:50,296
Oh, yeah, right. I'll go and, uh,
255
00:09:50,396 --> 00:09:53,740
I just gotta set the
lineup for the Main Stage.
256
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:55,842
[scoffs]
257
00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:58,364
[clears throat]
258
00:10:00,326 --> 00:10:04,150
I know it's probably not
my place to say anything,
259
00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:05,692
um, but have you read the sketches?
260
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,393
Mm-hmm.
261
00:10:07,493 --> 00:10:10,076
I mean, 'cause I'm worried
that the Little Bo Peep one
262
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:11,998
might be...
263
00:10:12,098 --> 00:10:16,042
kinda... lame.
264
00:10:16,142 --> 00:10:18,144
It's not lame.
265
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,688
It's fucking horrible,
goddamn offensive.
266
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,931
Ohh. I thought I just didn't get it.
267
00:10:25,031 --> 00:10:27,053
[laughs] Ho, ho, the
writers don't get it.
268
00:10:27,153 --> 00:10:28,975
I mean, it's two guys never been laid
269
00:10:29,075 --> 00:10:32,659
writing their idea of
what a woman might say.
270
00:10:32,759 --> 00:10:36,342
If you told them your twat was
horizontal, they wouldn't argue.
271
00:10:36,442 --> 00:10:39,145
Okay, because I was thinking,
maybe we could change it
272
00:10:39,245 --> 00:10:41,387
to "The Little Bo Peep
Show," and men show up
273
00:10:41,487 --> 00:10:43,429
thinking it's gonna be
this sexy peep show,
274
00:10:43,529 --> 00:10:46,753
but instead, the girl
behind the glass is wearing
275
00:10:46,853 --> 00:10:49,235
this ridiculous dress,
not showing any skin,
276
00:10:49,335 --> 00:10:51,758
because she wants to be taken
seriously as an actress,
277
00:10:51,858 --> 00:10:54,160
doing her one-woman show
about her wayward sheep.
278
00:10:54,260 --> 00:10:57,604
[laughs]
279
00:10:57,704 --> 00:11:00,687
Why don't you take a
swing at rewriting it?
280
00:11:00,787 --> 00:11:03,049
Really?
281
00:11:03,149 --> 00:11:04,170
I can do that?
282
00:11:04,270 --> 00:11:05,492
Why not?
283
00:11:05,592 --> 00:11:08,855
I'm Executive Producer.
284
00:11:08,955 --> 00:11:10,456
Yes, you are.
285
00:11:10,556 --> 00:11:11,898
[funk music playing]
286
00:11:11,998 --> 00:11:14,140
Mmm. Oh, yeah!
287
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:18,144
So I said to him, I said,
uh, "So what's your angle?"
288
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:20,507
Talking 'bout, "Why I
gotta have an angle?"
289
00:11:20,607 --> 00:11:21,908
[laughter]
290
00:11:22,008 --> 00:11:23,670
I said, "Because
291
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:26,112
you one angling
motherfucker, that's why."
292
00:11:26,212 --> 00:11:29,115
[laughter]
293
00:11:29,215 --> 00:11:31,477
???
294
00:11:31,577 --> 00:11:32,478
? Ah! ?
295
00:11:32,578 --> 00:11:34,641
???
296
00:11:34,741 --> 00:11:37,003
Anybody order a white guy?
297
00:11:37,103 --> 00:11:39,846
? Yeah, yeah, yeah ?
298
00:11:39,946 --> 00:11:44,250
If I buy a girl a drink, it
means I want to fuck her.
299
00:11:44,350 --> 00:11:48,695
You paid for my entire haul
of liquor, plus money owed.
300
00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:53,219
Cards on the table, Barton,
I'm not that good a fuck.
301
00:11:53,319 --> 00:11:56,643
Not according to your
current business model.
302
00:12:01,567 --> 00:12:03,229
What do you want?
303
00:12:03,329 --> 00:12:06,673
I want what you need,
a business partner.
304
00:12:06,773 --> 00:12:08,775
Hm.
305
00:12:10,216 --> 00:12:12,919
I saw this, uh, nature documentary.
306
00:12:13,019 --> 00:12:14,921
It's about buzzards.
307
00:12:15,021 --> 00:12:18,965
They can smell their next
meal from a mile a way.
308
00:12:19,065 --> 00:12:20,647
- Hm.
- A mile.
309
00:12:20,747 --> 00:12:22,528
But from "Niggerville" all the way
310
00:12:22,628 --> 00:12:24,811
up to Sunset Boulevard? [laughs]
311
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:28,414
Now, that is impressive.
312
00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:30,536
? tense music ?
313
00:12:30,636 --> 00:12:32,538
I'm sorry, may I?
314
00:12:32,638 --> 00:12:36,903
???
315
00:12:37,003 --> 00:12:38,905
Now that we're on a first name basis,
316
00:12:39,005 --> 00:12:41,868
I'm gonna talk frank.
317
00:12:41,968 --> 00:12:43,309
You're gonna go bankrupt,
318
00:12:43,409 --> 00:12:44,991
just like you did in New York in '70,
319
00:12:45,091 --> 00:12:48,034
just like you did in Atlanta
in '62, and you know why?
320
00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:50,476
Oh, joy, you're gonna share
your secret of success.
321
00:12:50,576 --> 00:12:52,278
'Cause you don't know
what you're selling.
322
00:12:52,378 --> 00:12:53,600
Fuck I don't.
323
00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:57,523
I sell a night out, a good time.
324
00:12:57,623 --> 00:12:58,685
Hope.
325
00:12:58,785 --> 00:13:01,928
???
326
00:13:02,028 --> 00:13:05,171
You are selling hope with
a two drink minimum.
327
00:13:05,271 --> 00:13:07,614
And you deal in hope?
328
00:13:07,714 --> 00:13:10,576
These kids today, they want fame.
329
00:13:10,676 --> 00:13:12,178
They want headlines.
330
00:13:12,278 --> 00:13:14,140
They want all the shit
that you can't give 'em.
331
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,382
See, they can know that
it can never happen,
332
00:13:16,482 --> 00:13:19,385
but they got to think
that it still could.
333
00:13:19,485 --> 00:13:20,867
You're talking Carson.
334
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,029
Don't think I ain't fucking tried.
335
00:13:23,129 --> 00:13:24,991
His guy, Mitch Bombadier,
336
00:13:25,091 --> 00:13:26,913
got his head so far up Goldie's ass,
337
00:13:27,013 --> 00:13:28,354
it's fucking impossible.
338
00:13:28,454 --> 00:13:31,077
I have a working
relationship with Mitch.
339
00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:33,920
We'll work something out.
340
00:13:34,020 --> 00:13:35,521
Through Pryor?
341
00:13:35,621 --> 00:13:37,764
???
342
00:13:37,864 --> 00:13:41,748
Well, if you could get
Pryor to play my club...
343
00:13:43,349 --> 00:13:45,171
that'd be a hell of a shot in the arm.
344
00:13:45,271 --> 00:13:48,294
That ain't even gonna happen.
He's all Goldie's.
345
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:50,937
What I am proposing...
346
00:13:51,037 --> 00:13:54,761
is that we build our own Pryor.
347
00:13:56,362 --> 00:14:00,306
Right, so this book says
that you can have anything,
348
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:01,507
as long as you believe?
349
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:02,588
Mm-hmm.
350
00:14:02,688 --> 00:14:05,231
And you chose pizza? Not Carson.
351
00:14:05,331 --> 00:14:06,793
Well, Carson takes time.
352
00:14:06,893 --> 00:14:08,334
I mean, I mean, it's
like on "Bewitched."
353
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:10,336
You know, Tabitha didn't
just pop out of the womb
354
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:12,759
and levitate her crib. She
started with her doll,
355
00:14:12,859 --> 00:14:14,921
and then worked her way
up to heavier shit.
356
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:17,083
I know what you should manifest next...
357
00:14:17,183 --> 00:14:19,165
the powers to not say dumb shit.
358
00:14:19,265 --> 00:14:21,888
No. Next I'm manifesting vaginas.
359
00:14:21,988 --> 00:14:24,090
Already got a big box of Trojans.
360
00:14:24,190 --> 00:14:27,333
Well, as long as you didn't
buy a box of big Trojans.
361
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:29,715
You should give it a read, man.
You need to believe in yourself.
362
00:14:29,796 --> 00:14:31,798
And talk to Cassie... you still
haven't even called her.
363
00:14:31,878 --> 00:14:34,781
Whoa, whoa, what? Stop that train.
364
00:14:34,881 --> 00:14:37,183
You like Cassie? Okay.
365
00:14:37,283 --> 00:14:38,865
Okay, I can see it. Now that Bill's
366
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:41,007
out of the picture, I feel
like you should go for it.
367
00:14:41,087 --> 00:14:43,790
[laughs] He's not gonna do that.
368
00:14:43,890 --> 00:14:45,952
Excuse me, how do you
know what I'm gonna do?
369
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:48,074
I don't... I just know
what you're not gonna do,
370
00:14:48,174 --> 00:14:49,475
which is talk to her, or be a man.
371
00:14:49,575 --> 00:14:51,798
[laughs] What, you scared?
372
00:14:51,898 --> 00:14:53,359
Yeah, I'm scared. No, none of you know
373
00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:56,002
what the fuck you're
talking about, okay?
374
00:14:56,102 --> 00:14:58,604
Okay. Okay.
375
00:14:58,704 --> 00:15:00,486
How 'bout we settle this like men?
376
00:15:00,586 --> 00:15:01,487
Cock or Balls?
377
00:15:01,587 --> 00:15:02,488
[Adam] Whoa.
378
00:15:02,588 --> 00:15:04,450
[clears throat] Wait.
379
00:15:04,550 --> 00:15:05,611
What is Cock or Balls?
380
00:15:05,711 --> 00:15:07,173
It's like Rock paper scissors,
381
00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:09,295
except you stand back-to-back,
unzip your fly,
382
00:15:09,395 --> 00:15:11,397
pull out a little bit of skin,
and the other guy has to guess
383
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:13,399
whether he's looking at
your cock or your balls.
384
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:15,181
Best two-out-of-three wins.
385
00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:16,462
Somebody wins?
386
00:15:16,562 --> 00:15:17,864
[Eddie] [groans] I'll go first.
387
00:15:17,964 --> 00:15:19,065
[clears throat]
388
00:15:19,165 --> 00:15:21,147
If I win, you gotta face Cassie.
389
00:15:21,247 --> 00:15:22,348
Okay, and if I win,
390
00:15:22,448 --> 00:15:23,850
you shut the fuck up about that book.
391
00:15:23,930 --> 00:15:25,231
Deal.
392
00:15:25,331 --> 00:15:26,612
Wait, y'all actually
about to play this shit?
393
00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:27,593
No peeking.
394
00:15:27,693 --> 00:15:28,955
No need.
395
00:15:29,055 --> 00:15:31,157
I can draw a courtroom
sketch of his dick.
396
00:15:31,257 --> 00:15:32,158
All right, ready?
397
00:15:32,258 --> 00:15:33,159
Yeah, did you find it?
398
00:15:33,259 --> 00:15:35,261
Three, two, one.
399
00:15:36,582 --> 00:15:38,084
- Balls.
- Fuck!
400
00:15:38,184 --> 00:15:39,205
Every time.
401
00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:40,726
[Ron's zipper opens]
402
00:15:40,826 --> 00:15:43,169
- You all right back there?
- Yep.
403
00:15:43,269 --> 00:15:45,451
Whew! Okay.
404
00:15:45,551 --> 00:15:47,413
? funky rock music ?
405
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:49,675
What do you think of that?
Yeah, drink it in.
406
00:15:49,755 --> 00:15:51,757
Why are you so fucking close?
407
00:15:52,398 --> 00:15:53,940
Balls.
408
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,381
- Cock.
- [Adam] Wow.
409
00:15:55,481 --> 00:15:56,762
Bullshit! There's a pube right there.
410
00:15:56,842 --> 00:15:58,224
I did that to trick you.
411
00:15:58,324 --> 00:16:00,186
That's 100 percent beef
you're staring at.
412
00:16:00,286 --> 00:16:03,349
Wait, why not just play
rock paper scissors?
413
00:16:03,449 --> 00:16:04,450
What are we, fucking ten?
414
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,532
[laughs]
415
00:16:11,217 --> 00:16:13,119
[van door opens and closes]
416
00:16:13,219 --> 00:16:16,122
? light guitar music ?
417
00:16:16,222 --> 00:16:21,107
???
418
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:24,730
Max?
419
00:16:24,830 --> 00:16:26,813
Where are you, Maxie?
420
00:16:26,913 --> 00:16:29,295
Maxie boy?
421
00:16:29,395 --> 00:16:32,258
You happy to have me home?
422
00:16:32,358 --> 00:16:34,020
???
423
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:36,823
Max, honey?
424
00:16:36,923 --> 00:16:38,424
Where are you, Maxie?
425
00:16:38,524 --> 00:16:39,906
Marty, I gotta be honest.
426
00:16:40,006 --> 00:16:42,668
The sketches, they're not
exactly Shakespeare.
427
00:16:42,768 --> 00:16:45,711
Well, your girls aren't exactly
thespians, but I hear ya.
428
00:16:45,811 --> 00:16:47,693
Don't worry, it's a first draft.
Next will be better.
429
00:16:47,773 --> 00:16:49,635
Great, we're all on the same page then.
430
00:16:49,735 --> 00:16:52,919
Uh, the thing is, my problem
isn't just the writing,
431
00:16:53,019 --> 00:16:55,401
it's the content.
432
00:16:55,501 --> 00:16:57,443
It's frat humor.
433
00:16:57,543 --> 00:16:59,605
I mean, it should be about women.
434
00:16:59,705 --> 00:17:02,849
That's the point, right,
to showcase women?
435
00:17:02,949 --> 00:17:04,610
Marty said it was just a first draft.
436
00:17:04,710 --> 00:17:06,472
It's all part of the process.
Just relax, all right?
437
00:17:06,552 --> 00:17:08,454
Goldie, please, don't get so emotional.
438
00:17:08,554 --> 00:17:10,216
Now, Eli, in the second sketch...
439
00:17:10,316 --> 00:17:12,458
- Could you repeat that?
- What?
440
00:17:12,558 --> 00:17:15,421
Could you repeat that
without the condescension?
441
00:17:15,521 --> 00:17:18,144
Just say it to me like you're
talking to another guy
442
00:17:18,244 --> 00:17:21,147
and not your six-year-old daughter?
443
00:17:21,247 --> 00:17:23,469
What are you looking at him for?
I'm talking to you.
444
00:17:23,569 --> 00:17:25,071
[laughs]
445
00:17:25,171 --> 00:17:26,592
That what makes Goldie Goldie.
446
00:17:26,692 --> 00:17:28,274
You know, she's a straight shooter.
447
00:17:28,374 --> 00:17:31,717
[chuckles] You got your spin.
448
00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:33,859
Anyway, don't worry about it.
I took care of it.
449
00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:38,764
Got one of my girls to rewrite it.
450
00:17:38,864 --> 00:17:40,246
You did what?
451
00:17:40,346 --> 00:17:41,968
I'm a producer, so I'm producing.
452
00:17:42,068 --> 00:17:44,330
No. No, you don't hire writers.
453
00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:46,452
No, not without consulting me.
454
00:17:46,552 --> 00:17:49,775
Look, Marty, if I had a
prick, I might stand around
455
00:17:49,875 --> 00:17:51,697
holding it all day, but I don't,
456
00:17:51,797 --> 00:17:56,302
so I have time to
actually get shit done.
457
00:17:56,402 --> 00:17:58,544
She'll have your pages by the weekend.
458
00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:00,646
Come on.
459
00:18:05,891 --> 00:18:08,194
You know, for a woman who
usually sees the big picture,
460
00:18:08,294 --> 00:18:10,556
that was extremely shortsighted.
461
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:12,798
I refuse to put out a mediocre product
462
00:18:12,898 --> 00:18:14,440
with my name on it.
463
00:18:14,540 --> 00:18:15,721
I've worked long and hard
464
00:18:15,821 --> 00:18:16,942
to make that name mean something.
465
00:18:17,023 --> 00:18:18,804
Oh, come on, no one is disputing that.
466
00:18:18,904 --> 00:18:20,546
The problem isn't your message,
it's the way you deliver it.
467
00:18:20,626 --> 00:18:22,328
You kill more flies with honey.
468
00:18:22,428 --> 00:18:25,451
What's wrong with a flyswatter?
469
00:18:25,551 --> 00:18:27,813
You have to respect the network.
470
00:18:27,913 --> 00:18:30,736
You can't treat 'em
like a necessary evil.
471
00:18:30,836 --> 00:18:32,598
You ask me, they aren't
all that necessary.
472
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:34,300
Jesus, Gold.
473
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,342
You're not gonna break if you bend.
474
00:18:36,442 --> 00:18:39,946
Why can't you compromise on something?
Anything?
475
00:18:40,046 --> 00:18:42,048
Because then I'd be you.
476
00:18:51,377 --> 00:18:54,360
A real Hollywood agent.
477
00:18:54,460 --> 00:18:55,741
I want to look like that French girl
478
00:18:55,821 --> 00:18:59,685
in "Last Tango in Paris." Oh.
479
00:18:59,785 --> 00:19:02,668
Where are my heels?
480
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:05,651
She had that hat, remember?
481
00:19:05,751 --> 00:19:08,934
It's black with the flower?
482
00:19:09,034 --> 00:19:12,078
Clothes are not what I
remember about that movie.
483
00:19:17,963 --> 00:19:19,825
What?
484
00:19:19,925 --> 00:19:21,587
You're nervous.
485
00:19:21,687 --> 00:19:22,748
[scoffs]
486
00:19:22,848 --> 00:19:24,590
[laughs] It's cute.
487
00:19:24,690 --> 00:19:25,831
You're cute.
488
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:28,274
Just cleaning my boots.
489
00:19:28,374 --> 00:19:29,315
[sighs]
490
00:19:29,415 --> 00:19:32,318
[brush swiping]
491
00:19:32,418 --> 00:19:34,240
Do you love me, Nick?
492
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,342
[laughs softly]
493
00:19:43,909 --> 00:19:47,373
I wouldn't want to be on
this ride with anyone else.
494
00:19:47,473 --> 00:19:49,695
[chuckles]
495
00:19:49,795 --> 00:19:52,018
? solemn music ?
496
00:19:52,118 --> 00:19:54,580
[sighs softly]
497
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,702
Do you remember what I said
498
00:19:56,802 --> 00:19:59,385
the first time I saw you do stand-up?
499
00:19:59,485 --> 00:20:01,307
"The fries here are so good."
500
00:20:01,407 --> 00:20:04,350
- [both laughing]
- No.
501
00:20:04,450 --> 00:20:05,631
???
502
00:20:05,731 --> 00:20:08,214
I said you were going places.
503
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:10,916
Yeah.
504
00:20:11,016 --> 00:20:13,559
And then you asked me if I
wanted to come with you.
505
00:20:13,659 --> 00:20:18,544
???
506
00:20:23,869 --> 00:20:26,852
I want to come with you.
507
00:20:26,952 --> 00:20:31,837
???
508
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:38,544
I can't wait until our trip
to Merced this weekend.
509
00:20:38,644 --> 00:20:42,468
My mom never believed
in you, but I told her.
510
00:20:42,568 --> 00:20:45,471
I told everybody.
511
00:20:45,571 --> 00:20:48,033
???
512
00:20:48,133 --> 00:20:49,155
Okay.
513
00:20:49,255 --> 00:20:51,317
- Hi. Huh?
- Oh!
514
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:52,638
More meat.
515
00:20:52,738 --> 00:20:53,919
Yeah.
516
00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:55,841
- Such the provider.
- Oh! Can I?
517
00:20:55,941 --> 00:20:57,283
- Say, "Hi, Dad."
- Yeah, I think this is
518
00:20:57,383 --> 00:20:58,824
how the cavemen felt when they purchased
519
00:20:58,904 --> 00:21:01,967
their woolly mammoth
steaks and baby formula.
520
00:21:02,067 --> 00:21:04,650
Maybe we should've gotten
the bigger fridge.
521
00:21:04,750 --> 00:21:06,552
Most of this is for the
christening, but still.
522
00:21:06,632 --> 00:21:07,813
Ooh!
523
00:21:07,913 --> 00:21:09,575
Look at that. That's a full freezer.
524
00:21:09,675 --> 00:21:11,497
What? Yeah, I've never
heard of it either.
525
00:21:11,597 --> 00:21:13,339
[laughs]
526
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:15,341
Watch out.
527
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:16,982
[chuckles playfully]
528
00:21:17,082 --> 00:21:20,546
[gasps] Wow... oh, wow.
529
00:21:20,646 --> 00:21:22,508
???
530
00:21:22,608 --> 00:21:24,790
I'll put him down and be right back.
531
00:21:24,890 --> 00:21:26,071
Okay.
532
00:21:26,171 --> 00:21:29,955
- Say, "Night night, Daddy."
- Night night.
533
00:21:30,055 --> 00:21:31,677
[sighs]
534
00:21:31,777 --> 00:21:36,362
???
535
00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:37,643
[baby babbling on speaker]
536
00:21:37,743 --> 00:21:39,084
[laughs]
537
00:21:39,184 --> 00:21:41,407
[Betty on speaker]
Look at you, so sweet.
538
00:21:41,507 --> 00:21:42,968
[baby babbling on speaker]
539
00:21:43,068 --> 00:21:45,571
[Betty muttering on speaker]
540
00:21:45,671 --> 00:21:48,814
When Cassie shows up, remember,
all you have to do is believe.
541
00:21:48,914 --> 00:21:50,676
And don't limit yourself
to what you can see.
542
00:21:50,756 --> 00:21:52,298
You know? I mean, we can't see the air.
543
00:21:52,398 --> 00:21:53,399
- Hmm.
- Does that make the air
544
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:55,621
less fucking real? No.
545
00:21:55,721 --> 00:21:56,942
- What page?
- 16.
546
00:21:57,042 --> 00:21:58,484
Jesus Christ, you're a slow reader.
547
00:21:58,564 --> 00:22:00,546
Yeah.
548
00:22:00,646 --> 00:22:01,587
Oh, here we go.
549
00:22:01,687 --> 00:22:02,868
[Cassie] Oh, hey, "kiss and run."
550
00:22:02,968 --> 00:22:04,990
P.S., uh, I lied, those were my balls.
551
00:22:05,090 --> 00:22:07,092
You're welcome.
552
00:22:08,213 --> 00:22:09,155
Hello.
553
00:22:09,255 --> 00:22:11,377
- [groans]
- [chuckles]
554
00:22:13,058 --> 00:22:15,241
Uh, look...
555
00:22:15,341 --> 00:22:17,122
um, fuck it.
556
00:22:17,222 --> 00:22:19,405
I'm not gonna apologize for kissing you.
557
00:22:19,505 --> 00:22:24,410
I did what I did, and... that's that.
558
00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:26,512
So.
559
00:22:30,556 --> 00:22:32,338
[inhales] Yep.
560
00:22:32,438 --> 00:22:34,860
- [sighs]
- [chuckles]
561
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:37,183
Ahh, well, that's way
too long of a pause.
562
00:22:37,283 --> 00:22:39,064
I've overplayed my hand, haven't I?
563
00:22:39,164 --> 00:22:41,587
Look, despite almost
losing a tooth on impact,
564
00:22:41,687 --> 00:22:43,629
the kiss was nice.
565
00:22:43,729 --> 00:22:46,432
You running away was fucking weird.
566
00:22:46,532 --> 00:22:49,435
Yeah, I think I used up, uh,
all my adrenaline on the kiss,
567
00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:51,437
and I... had to hide in the men's room
568
00:22:51,537 --> 00:22:52,918
until closing to recharge.
569
00:22:53,018 --> 00:22:54,720
[both laughing]
570
00:22:54,820 --> 00:22:57,403
- [sighs]
- Mm.
571
00:22:57,503 --> 00:22:59,044
- Ahh.
- [sighs]
572
00:22:59,144 --> 00:23:02,288
Look... I think you're so great.
573
00:23:02,388 --> 00:23:03,689
Ah.
574
00:23:03,789 --> 00:23:05,291
But I just broke up with Bill...
575
00:23:05,391 --> 00:23:06,712
- Right. [clears throat]
- and I got all this
576
00:23:06,792 --> 00:23:08,494
"Girls Are Funny, Too"
stuff happening...
577
00:23:08,594 --> 00:23:09,895
- Right.
- and Goldie's actually
578
00:23:09,995 --> 00:23:11,957
letting me do a rewrite
of one of the sketches.
579
00:23:12,037 --> 00:23:13,419
Oh, wow. Congratulations.
580
00:23:13,519 --> 00:23:16,702
Thank you, so it's just...
man, it's just...
581
00:23:16,802 --> 00:23:18,744
it's really bad timing for me right now.
582
00:23:18,844 --> 00:23:20,546
Timing, right.
583
00:23:20,646 --> 00:23:24,390
So... is there any chance...
584
00:23:24,490 --> 00:23:27,313
we could just be friends?
585
00:23:27,413 --> 00:23:28,834
Of course. [laughs]
586
00:23:28,934 --> 00:23:30,035
Yeah, yeah.
587
00:23:30,135 --> 00:23:31,637
- Okay, good.
- Yeah, friends.
588
00:23:31,737 --> 00:23:34,880
- I'll see you later, friend.
- All right.
589
00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:36,982
Oof.
590
00:23:37,423 --> 00:23:38,364
Hey.
591
00:23:38,464 --> 00:23:40,085
Missed your time, Sull.
592
00:23:40,185 --> 00:23:41,507
By ten minutes, just put me up next.
593
00:23:41,587 --> 00:23:43,008
- Sorry.
- Who's here?
594
00:23:43,108 --> 00:23:45,411
Booked until 1:45. I'll
put you up after Cassie.
595
00:23:45,511 --> 00:23:47,573
Arnie, listen, man, I had a sales call
596
00:23:47,673 --> 00:23:49,455
in Bakersfield and it went long, okay?
597
00:23:49,555 --> 00:23:51,517
I... and I have to go get the
groceries, you understand?
598
00:23:51,597 --> 00:23:54,179
I have to sit down and have
dinner with my wife and kid.
599
00:23:54,279 --> 00:23:56,702
I've gotta plan out this
goddamn christening!
600
00:23:56,802 --> 00:23:58,544
What am I, Dear Abby now?
601
00:23:58,644 --> 00:24:00,646
1:45.
602
00:24:02,127 --> 00:24:05,090
You can be a fucking dickhead,
you know that, Arnie?
603
00:24:06,652 --> 00:24:09,134
Heavy is the head that wears the crown.
604
00:24:10,656 --> 00:24:11,637
Nick.
605
00:24:11,737 --> 00:24:13,158
- [Nick] Hey.
- Hey, hey, hey.
606
00:24:13,258 --> 00:24:14,680
- How are ya?
- Good.
607
00:24:14,780 --> 00:24:16,221
- How are you?
- Yeah, good... good to see you.
608
00:24:16,301 --> 00:24:17,443
Good. This must be Tawny.
609
00:24:17,543 --> 00:24:18,524
- [chuckles] Hi.
- Yes.
610
00:24:18,624 --> 00:24:19,605
My wife, Olivia.
611
00:24:19,705 --> 00:24:21,687
Hi. So nice to meet you.
612
00:24:21,787 --> 00:24:23,108
Last time I was invited
to a house this nice,
613
00:24:23,188 --> 00:24:24,249
it had a grotto, so.
614
00:24:24,349 --> 00:24:26,131
[laughter]
615
00:24:26,231 --> 00:24:29,815
Holy guacamole, I-I love marble.
616
00:24:29,915 --> 00:24:31,457
- Yeah.
- [Tawny] Yeah.
617
00:24:31,557 --> 00:24:36,462
[laughs] Oh, my God, so cute!
618
00:24:36,562 --> 00:24:39,825
Can we have them for dinner?
'Cause I could just eat them up.
619
00:24:39,925 --> 00:24:43,268
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. [laughs]
620
00:24:43,368 --> 00:24:45,070
She skipped lunch, so.
621
00:24:45,170 --> 00:24:46,472
Why don't we get you two a drink?
622
00:24:46,572 --> 00:24:47,793
- Great.
- Yeah.
623
00:24:47,893 --> 00:24:49,074
Tawny, come, please.
624
00:24:49,174 --> 00:24:51,317
Good night, girls. [kisses] Bye.
625
00:24:51,417 --> 00:24:53,078
I'll see you later, okay?
626
00:24:53,178 --> 00:24:54,099
[Arnie] You know, I'm
thinking of trying out
627
00:24:54,179 --> 00:24:55,300
for the Washington Generals.
628
00:24:55,380 --> 00:24:57,002
You know, the basketball team
629
00:24:57,102 --> 00:24:59,224
that's always losing to
the Harlem Globetrotters?
630
00:24:59,304 --> 00:25:02,968
Hey, why can't white people
win once in a while, right?
631
00:25:03,068 --> 00:25:05,811
I know what you're thinking,
"Arnie, you're too small.
632
00:25:05,911 --> 00:25:08,053
Arnie, you're pathetic at basketball.
633
00:25:08,153 --> 00:25:09,815
Arnie, you're too white."
634
00:25:09,915 --> 00:25:12,097
No, those are the requirements
635
00:25:12,197 --> 00:25:14,580
to play for the Washington Generals.
636
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:16,342
[laughter]
637
00:25:16,442 --> 00:25:19,465
Now, you know that should
be you up there, right?
638
00:25:19,565 --> 00:25:22,107
[sighs] Goldie says all the
greats take the stairs,
639
00:25:22,207 --> 00:25:24,470
not the fucking elevator.
640
00:25:24,570 --> 00:25:27,713
Or they go up the street
and get themselves paid.
641
00:25:27,813 --> 00:25:30,596
Hey, you know Teddy's paying.
642
00:25:30,696 --> 00:25:32,518
Ten bucks a set.
643
00:25:32,618 --> 00:25:35,641
Get more if it's Adam Proteau.
644
00:25:35,741 --> 00:25:37,122
Ain't Teddy's going under?
645
00:25:37,222 --> 00:25:40,906
Man got a sudden influx of cash.
646
00:25:43,228 --> 00:25:45,691
You been packing Goldie's
cellar really tight,
647
00:25:45,791 --> 00:25:48,734
and I can only imagine
what it would be like
648
00:25:48,834 --> 00:25:50,215
if you were at Teddy's.
649
00:25:50,315 --> 00:25:52,017
Name on the marquee,
650
00:25:52,117 --> 00:25:54,139
headlining whenever you want,
651
00:25:54,239 --> 00:25:55,621
real money.
652
00:25:55,721 --> 00:25:56,782
? dramatic music ?
653
00:25:56,882 --> 00:25:59,505
Yeah, and who's watching?
654
00:25:59,605 --> 00:26:02,508
All the kingmakers, same as here.
655
00:26:02,608 --> 00:26:04,189
???
656
00:26:04,289 --> 00:26:05,951
Look, man, I don't know
what your game is,
657
00:26:06,051 --> 00:26:08,073
but Goldie's got a plan, so I'm cool.
658
00:26:08,173 --> 00:26:11,196
Oh, right, right, right. Stairs.
659
00:26:11,296 --> 00:26:12,878
[laughs]
660
00:26:12,978 --> 00:26:17,202
Look, son, in this business,
you wait too long,
661
00:26:17,302 --> 00:26:19,725
you wait tables.
662
00:26:19,825 --> 00:26:23,649
[Arnie continues set]
663
00:26:23,749 --> 00:26:25,010
[Arnie] Brain cancer.
664
00:26:25,110 --> 00:26:28,373
[laughs]
665
00:26:28,473 --> 00:26:31,577
This is my favorite.
666
00:26:31,677 --> 00:26:35,621
Oh, I've never seen a
ring like this before.
667
00:26:35,721 --> 00:26:37,903
It's so twinkly.
668
00:26:38,003 --> 00:26:41,266
It's a rose-cut diamond, from India.
669
00:26:41,366 --> 00:26:44,269
[lounge music playing]
670
00:26:44,369 --> 00:26:48,233
I can't stop looking at it.
671
00:26:48,333 --> 00:26:51,797
Nicky, see this ring? Hint, hint.
672
00:26:51,897 --> 00:26:53,398
No one does subtlety like you, babe.
673
00:26:53,498 --> 00:26:54,920
[laughs]
674
00:26:55,020 --> 00:26:57,162
Olivia's dad was a jeweler in Romania,
675
00:26:57,262 --> 00:26:58,844
and now she makes her own stuff.
676
00:26:58,944 --> 00:27:01,046
Come on, come see my wine cellar.
677
00:27:01,146 --> 00:27:03,769
I have some bottles here
that Bob Hope gave me.
678
00:27:03,869 --> 00:27:05,050
Whew.
679
00:27:05,150 --> 00:27:10,055
???
680
00:27:10,155 --> 00:27:11,537
- Oh.
- [clears throat]
681
00:27:11,637 --> 00:27:13,138
Uh... [laughs]
682
00:27:13,238 --> 00:27:14,760
It's okay with you, I'd
prefer you fuck me
683
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:16,401
the old fashioned way, 10
percent at a time, huh?
684
00:27:16,481 --> 00:27:19,224
You come to my house with
your junkie girlfriend.
685
00:27:19,324 --> 00:27:21,547
I have two kids here.
686
00:27:21,647 --> 00:27:24,830
What are you talking about?
687
00:27:24,930 --> 00:27:27,312
That, I... [chuckles]
688
00:27:27,412 --> 00:27:28,674
She's got the flu.
689
00:27:28,774 --> 00:27:30,155
- Mm.
- Yeah, she's got the flu
690
00:27:30,255 --> 00:27:31,777
and she didn't want to
come, but I begged her.
691
00:27:31,857 --> 00:27:32,998
Uh-huh.
692
00:27:33,098 --> 00:27:34,099
And she took this cold medicine,
693
00:27:34,179 --> 00:27:35,360
and it's knocking her out,
694
00:27:35,460 --> 00:27:38,043
but it... it's sweet, actually.
695
00:27:38,143 --> 00:27:40,646
Now can we... or do I gotta
keep pretending to enjoy
696
00:27:40,746 --> 00:27:42,347
this giant nut-covered
ball of cream cheese
697
00:27:42,427 --> 00:27:43,729
Olivia calls an appetizer?
698
00:27:43,829 --> 00:27:45,370
You want me to represent you?
699
00:27:45,470 --> 00:27:47,252
This is what's gonna happen.
700
00:27:47,352 --> 00:27:48,814
You're gonna make an excuse up
701
00:27:48,914 --> 00:27:50,896
as to why you can't
be at dinner tonight.
702
00:27:50,996 --> 00:27:52,978
You're gonna dump the
broad, clean up your act,
703
00:27:53,078 --> 00:27:57,182
and never, ever come back to
my house fucked up again.
704
00:27:57,282 --> 00:27:58,984
You kicking your habit on your own?
705
00:27:59,084 --> 00:28:00,586
That's a slim chance of happening.
706
00:28:00,686 --> 00:28:05,430
You two doing it together, zero.
707
00:28:05,530 --> 00:28:08,413
That's my offer.
708
00:28:10,295 --> 00:28:12,397
Okay.
709
00:28:12,497 --> 00:28:14,499
[sets drink down]
710
00:28:16,301 --> 00:28:17,903
Yeah, I just thought
of a perfect excuse.
711
00:28:17,983 --> 00:28:19,845
Okay.
712
00:28:19,945 --> 00:28:23,368
Um, Olivia, we can't make dinner tonight
713
00:28:23,468 --> 00:28:25,290
because...
714
00:28:25,390 --> 00:28:26,532
your husband's a cunt.
715
00:28:26,632 --> 00:28:27,973
Oh, Nick.
716
00:28:28,073 --> 00:28:29,615
How's that?
717
00:28:29,715 --> 00:28:31,376
You don't know her.
718
00:28:31,476 --> 00:28:33,298
- You don't fucking know me.
- Mm-hmm.
719
00:28:33,398 --> 00:28:34,680
I could throw a rock out your front door
720
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:36,181
and hit nine of you.
721
00:28:36,281 --> 00:28:38,143
You're not special.
722
00:28:38,243 --> 00:28:42,127
You are a by-product of
those of us who are!
723
00:28:46,371 --> 00:28:47,853
[comic talking indistinctly onstage]
724
00:28:47,933 --> 00:28:51,236
[Bill and Sully laughing and chatting]
725
00:28:51,336 --> 00:28:52,497
Yeah, I know you will, you always do.
726
00:28:52,577 --> 00:28:54,039
Oh!
727
00:28:54,139 --> 00:28:56,001
Edgar. Heard you got deported.
728
00:28:56,101 --> 00:28:57,342
Yeah, did Mexico stick its
finger down its throat
729
00:28:57,422 --> 00:28:58,804
and send you back?
730
00:28:58,904 --> 00:29:00,445
That's very funny. It's a shame
731
00:29:00,545 --> 00:29:02,668
Mitch isn't around to hear
how witty you two are.
732
00:29:09,194 --> 00:29:11,577
Man, I know you're still pissed.
733
00:29:11,677 --> 00:29:15,360
I should've told you that...
Told me what, Edgar?
734
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:18,423
That you're a selfish asshole
with no regard for anyone
735
00:29:18,523 --> 00:29:20,545
or anything but your sorry-ass self?
736
00:29:20,645 --> 00:29:23,068
No. You shouldn't have told me.
737
00:29:23,168 --> 00:29:26,051
I should've already fucking known.
738
00:29:32,137 --> 00:29:33,398
Hey, man.
739
00:29:33,498 --> 00:29:35,320
We don't all feel that way, Edgar.
740
00:29:35,420 --> 00:29:38,203
As a matter of fact, I
got you new headshots...
741
00:29:38,303 --> 00:29:40,826
a little welcome home present.
742
00:29:42,467 --> 00:29:43,929
[crowd laughing in the theater]
743
00:29:44,029 --> 00:29:46,031
What do you think?
744
00:29:48,233 --> 00:29:50,976
- [laughing] Oh, man.
- Fuck you!
745
00:29:51,076 --> 00:29:52,477
Come on, man, we're
just fucking with you.
746
00:29:52,557 --> 00:29:54,419
Man! Prison has changed you.
747
00:29:54,519 --> 00:29:56,521
Yeah.
748
00:29:57,963 --> 00:29:59,945
Baby.
749
00:30:00,045 --> 00:30:02,047
Eat.
750
00:30:04,609 --> 00:30:06,311
They seemed so nice.
751
00:30:06,411 --> 00:30:08,413
Yeah, get used to it.
752
00:30:11,136 --> 00:30:13,178
We're gonna be fine without him.
753
00:30:15,100 --> 00:30:18,844
Even you said they were pretty big.
754
00:30:18,944 --> 00:30:21,827
Yeah, I say all kinds of things.
755
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:39,745
Why do some people get so much?
756
00:30:39,845 --> 00:30:41,586
My sister's got a convertible.
757
00:30:41,686 --> 00:30:44,729
She's only had her license three months.
758
00:30:47,052 --> 00:30:51,196
[laughs] I could never drive one anyway.
759
00:30:51,296 --> 00:30:53,558
Why not?
760
00:30:53,658 --> 00:30:57,002
Have you ever been in one at night?
761
00:30:57,102 --> 00:31:00,525
All the stars twinkling
right above you, it...
762
00:31:00,625 --> 00:31:04,089
makes you just want to
reach out and grab one.
763
00:31:04,189 --> 00:31:05,650
[laughs]
764
00:31:05,750 --> 00:31:07,773
Who could possibly keep
their eyes on the road
765
00:31:07,873 --> 00:31:10,415
with all those stars, right?
766
00:31:10,515 --> 00:31:12,858
[laughs softly]
767
00:31:12,958 --> 00:31:14,860
Yeah.
768
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,863
? solemn guitar music ?
769
00:31:17,963 --> 00:31:20,105
???
770
00:31:20,205 --> 00:31:23,108
[Tawny] She made really pretty
jewelry, don't you think?
771
00:31:23,208 --> 00:31:28,113
???
772
00:31:28,213 --> 00:31:31,236
Hey, you know if you fart in
that, it turns red, right?
773
00:31:31,336 --> 00:31:32,838
- Have a seat.
- No thank you.
774
00:31:32,938 --> 00:31:34,820
I want to be able to get out
of here as fast as possible.
775
00:31:34,900 --> 00:31:37,923
[clears throat] Ernie Falk
wants you to give him a call.
776
00:31:38,023 --> 00:31:39,885
Who the fuck's Ernie Falk?
777
00:31:39,985 --> 00:31:41,686
Uh, he's the big-time TV producer
778
00:31:41,786 --> 00:31:43,068
you tried to hustle the other night.
779
00:31:43,148 --> 00:31:45,090
You mean hustle like you told me to?
780
00:31:45,190 --> 00:31:47,232
Hustle, as in you take a 20 percent cut?
781
00:31:51,997 --> 00:31:54,539
You know, I grew up in
Cold Lake, Alberta?
782
00:31:54,639 --> 00:31:57,062
My father used to walk
across Cold Lake to work
783
00:31:57,162 --> 00:31:59,584
every morning when it was frozen,
784
00:31:59,684 --> 00:32:01,586
which was most mornings.
785
00:32:01,686 --> 00:32:04,629
Then one day, when I was 17,
786
00:32:04,729 --> 00:32:07,612
he fell through the ice and drowned.
787
00:32:11,376 --> 00:32:14,319
What the fuck does that even mean?
788
00:32:14,419 --> 00:32:15,921
Wasn't his day.
789
00:32:16,021 --> 00:32:17,742
You walk across that lake every
day, and then one day...
790
00:32:17,822 --> 00:32:20,485
No, no, I-I get it, sort of,
791
00:32:20,585 --> 00:32:23,288
it's... it's just a
fucking terrible analogy.
792
00:32:23,388 --> 00:32:24,589
It's a fucking brilliant analogy.
793
00:32:24,669 --> 00:32:27,452
You're comparing your father drowning
794
00:32:27,552 --> 00:32:29,775
to me having to make an
unpleasant phone call?
795
00:32:29,875 --> 00:32:32,097
We're all walking on thin ice, idiot!
796
00:32:32,197 --> 00:32:33,418
Oh, my God, seriously?
797
00:32:33,518 --> 00:32:35,220
Uh, speak to someone.
798
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:36,761
- [scoffs]
- Okay? Like, a professional,
799
00:32:36,841 --> 00:32:38,343
'cause you're really fucked up.
800
00:32:38,443 --> 00:32:40,585
Get out.
801
00:32:40,685 --> 00:32:42,147
Jesus. Not you, Arnie.
802
00:32:42,247 --> 00:32:44,409
- He sat at your desk.
- She said to leave!
803
00:32:45,971 --> 00:32:48,073
So, what did I miss?
804
00:32:48,173 --> 00:32:50,916
Besides the world's
saddest pissing contest.
805
00:32:51,016 --> 00:32:53,198
[scoffs] Same shit.
806
00:32:53,298 --> 00:32:57,722
Comics complaining about
time slots and whatnot.
807
00:32:57,822 --> 00:33:01,086
There is talk.
808
00:33:01,186 --> 00:33:04,489
King Theodore's.
809
00:33:04,589 --> 00:33:06,091
Teddy's put the word out.
810
00:33:06,191 --> 00:33:08,433
He's giving comics ten bucks a set.
811
00:33:10,155 --> 00:33:12,377
Apparently, he's got an investor.
812
00:33:12,477 --> 00:33:15,540
Barton Royce.
813
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:16,661
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
814
00:33:16,761 --> 00:33:18,763
[all murmuring]
815
00:33:21,286 --> 00:33:24,830
Carson. Carson.
816
00:33:24,930 --> 00:33:27,392
Sitcom.
817
00:33:27,492 --> 00:33:29,794
Development deal.
818
00:33:29,894 --> 00:33:33,278
Carson. Carson.
819
00:33:33,378 --> 00:33:35,000
Carson!
820
00:33:35,100 --> 00:33:37,202
Film career.
821
00:33:37,302 --> 00:33:42,007
Carson, Carson, Carson, Carson!
822
00:33:42,107 --> 00:33:46,451
Carson and fuckin' Carson.
823
00:33:46,551 --> 00:33:49,855
So, if any of you want
to go over to Teddy's
824
00:33:49,955 --> 00:33:53,458
and help rearrange deck chairs
for ten dollars and a sandwich,
825
00:33:53,558 --> 00:33:55,640
you know where the fucking door is.
826
00:33:57,522 --> 00:34:00,805
Money is your fucking enemy.
827
00:34:02,607 --> 00:34:05,590
The desire for money, I get it.
828
00:34:05,690 --> 00:34:07,012
Who doesn't want something tangible
829
00:34:07,092 --> 00:34:10,075
for all their hard work, huh?
830
00:34:10,175 --> 00:34:12,757
But you don't get paid
831
00:34:12,857 --> 00:34:17,762
until the job is done, period.
832
00:34:17,862 --> 00:34:22,167
That desire, that hunger,
833
00:34:22,267 --> 00:34:24,809
that's what keeps you fuckers awake!
834
00:34:24,909 --> 00:34:28,333
And raw enough to still feel the pain
835
00:34:28,433 --> 00:34:30,175
that delivered you to my doorstep
836
00:34:30,275 --> 00:34:33,158
in the first place!
837
00:34:34,679 --> 00:34:38,863
When I was a little kid,
we raised chickens, hmm?
838
00:34:38,963 --> 00:34:43,828
And chicks break out of their shells.
839
00:34:43,928 --> 00:34:46,231
That's what gives them their strength.
840
00:34:46,331 --> 00:34:48,313
If someone helps them, they die.
841
00:34:48,413 --> 00:34:52,037
You may think you're doing them a favor,
842
00:34:52,137 --> 00:34:55,160
but that struggle,
843
00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:58,143
that is how they survive.
844
00:35:00,785 --> 00:35:02,807
Now, that's a fucking analogy.
845
00:35:02,907 --> 00:35:04,909
Fuck off.
846
00:35:05,830 --> 00:35:08,173
Y'all know where I stand now.
847
00:35:08,273 --> 00:35:10,875
You decide where you fucking stand.
848
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:15,820
Goldie.
849
00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:17,182
You got a second?
850
00:35:17,282 --> 00:35:19,544
Oh, I am through begging
you to give a shit.
851
00:35:19,644 --> 00:35:20,545
[lighter clicks]
852
00:35:20,645 --> 00:35:23,548
[footsteps leaving]
853
00:35:23,648 --> 00:35:26,191
[dance music playing]
854
00:35:26,291 --> 00:35:30,956
Hey, any chance you can help
me with that rewrite tonight?
855
00:35:31,056 --> 00:35:32,958
Oh, shit. Um...
856
00:35:33,058 --> 00:35:36,041
I can't, I... gotta
fucking work at the deli.
857
00:35:36,141 --> 00:35:38,403
You're a tough guy to nail down.
858
00:35:38,503 --> 00:35:40,445
What's good for you?
It's just one sketch.
859
00:35:40,545 --> 00:35:41,967
Um...
860
00:35:42,067 --> 00:35:43,448
[hums]
861
00:35:43,548 --> 00:35:45,450
I don't know, let me... I'll just...
862
00:35:45,550 --> 00:35:48,173
I'll... I'll look at my schedule
and I'll get back to you.
863
00:35:48,273 --> 00:35:50,775
You're not gonna help me, are you?
864
00:35:50,875 --> 00:35:52,657
Of course I'm gonna help you.
865
00:35:52,757 --> 00:35:54,579
Well, what am I, not gonna help you?
866
00:35:54,679 --> 00:35:57,862
I just... like I said,
I can't, I gotta...
867
00:35:57,962 --> 00:36:00,705
I can't, I got the thing.
I-I got a shift.
868
00:36:00,805 --> 00:36:02,587
Uh-huh, and what would
happen to the shift
869
00:36:02,687 --> 00:36:04,869
if I said I wanted to fuck you tonight?
870
00:36:04,969 --> 00:36:06,231
[chuckles]
871
00:36:06,331 --> 00:36:08,513
Well, I mean...
872
00:36:08,613 --> 00:36:10,555
???
873
00:36:10,655 --> 00:36:13,558
Could probably get it covered.
874
00:36:13,658 --> 00:36:18,163
???
875
00:36:18,263 --> 00:36:20,265
Hi.
876
00:36:22,427 --> 00:36:24,089
- [clears throat]
- What are we doing?
877
00:36:24,189 --> 00:36:26,311
Diffusing the sexual tension
that's ruining our friendship.
878
00:36:26,391 --> 00:36:28,773
Okay, so, you want this?
879
00:36:28,873 --> 00:36:30,875
Well, if this is what it takes
for us to become friends again,
880
00:36:30,955 --> 00:36:33,698
then yes, but this is a
one-time offer only, okay?
881
00:36:33,798 --> 00:36:35,560
This is for you to get
it out of your system.
882
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:36,841
Well, what if I need more than one time?
883
00:36:36,921 --> 00:36:38,463
One time.
884
00:36:38,563 --> 00:36:42,187
[music continues, muffled]
885
00:36:42,287 --> 00:36:44,289
Okay.
886
00:36:46,371 --> 00:36:47,632
No eye contact?
887
00:36:47,732 --> 00:36:49,554
Well, it's a tight space.
888
00:36:49,654 --> 00:36:51,436
Um, just the fumes are making me gag,
889
00:36:51,536 --> 00:36:53,758
so let's, like, move this along, okay?
890
00:36:53,858 --> 00:36:55,320
A little impersonal.
891
00:36:55,420 --> 00:36:57,142
Well, I'm gonna throw you
a look over my shoulder
892
00:36:57,222 --> 00:36:58,563
every now and then like this.
893
00:36:58,663 --> 00:37:00,245
Oh, thanks. That's more of a "I stole
894
00:37:00,345 --> 00:37:02,347
your parking space" look
than it is of, uh, arousal.
895
00:37:02,427 --> 00:37:03,748
[sighs] Well, I'll keep that in mind,
896
00:37:03,828 --> 00:37:04,889
try to make it better.
897
00:37:04,989 --> 00:37:07,172
[chuckles]
898
00:37:07,272 --> 00:37:09,574
This floor is disgusting.
899
00:37:09,674 --> 00:37:12,377
[clears throat]
900
00:37:12,477 --> 00:37:15,660
- [groans]
- Are you gonna...
901
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:17,342
Yeah, sorry, I just, you know,
902
00:37:17,442 --> 00:37:18,723
gotta ramp myself up a little bit.
903
00:37:18,803 --> 00:37:20,265
[sighs]
904
00:37:20,365 --> 00:37:21,746
[panting]
905
00:37:21,846 --> 00:37:23,428
What's going on back there?
906
00:37:23,528 --> 00:37:25,430
Uh, I'm... I'm trying
to get my penis erect.
907
00:37:25,530 --> 00:37:26,711
[scoffs]
908
00:37:26,811 --> 00:37:28,493
You really know how
to sweet-talk a girl.
909
00:37:28,573 --> 00:37:29,494
- Yeah, well...
- I'm surprised we didn't
910
00:37:29,574 --> 00:37:30,795
do this earlier.
911
00:37:30,895 --> 00:37:32,157
- [sighs]
- [scoffs]
912
00:37:32,257 --> 00:37:34,399
[groans]
913
00:37:34,499 --> 00:37:35,880
Do you want me to do the look?
914
00:37:35,980 --> 00:37:36,881
[sighs]
915
00:37:36,981 --> 00:37:38,983
I'm gonna do the look.
916
00:37:39,544 --> 00:37:41,926
Don't do the look.
917
00:37:42,026 --> 00:37:44,089
All right, you know, this is...
I can't... I don't want this.
918
00:37:44,189 --> 00:37:45,730
[scoffs] What? What?
919
00:37:45,830 --> 00:37:49,294
I can get sex, Cassie, thank
you very much, I can get sex.
920
00:37:49,394 --> 00:37:50,755
I had hoped for a little
bit more with you.
921
00:37:50,835 --> 00:37:52,477
Well, this is all the
more I have, I'm sorry,
922
00:37:52,557 --> 00:37:54,899
sex in a supply closet,
so take it or leave it.
923
00:37:54,999 --> 00:37:57,061
You know, this... this is
worse than a pity fuck.
924
00:37:57,161 --> 00:37:59,784
A pity fuck would be like if I
came back home from Vietnam
925
00:37:59,884 --> 00:38:02,227
with... one arm, then this
would be nice of you,
926
00:38:02,327 --> 00:38:05,029
but a "let's get this
out of the way" fuck?
927
00:38:05,129 --> 00:38:06,291
And that's... somehow you think that's
928
00:38:06,371 --> 00:38:09,594
gonna lead back to a friendship?
929
00:38:09,694 --> 00:38:11,696
I don't do those.
930
00:38:12,337 --> 00:38:15,220
[music continues]
931
00:38:17,061 --> 00:38:19,964
? solemn jazz music ?
932
00:38:20,064 --> 00:38:24,949
???
933
00:38:27,992 --> 00:38:29,994
Oh, shit.
934
00:38:33,758 --> 00:38:35,760
Tawny.
935
00:38:39,644 --> 00:38:41,646
Tawny.
936
00:38:43,528 --> 00:38:46,351
Fuck.
937
00:38:46,451 --> 00:38:48,353
[groans]
938
00:38:48,453 --> 00:38:53,338
???
939
00:39:03,268 --> 00:39:05,270
[groans]
940
00:39:17,201 --> 00:39:22,086
???
941
00:39:31,896 --> 00:39:34,078
[sighs]
942
00:39:34,178 --> 00:39:36,080
Tawny.
943
00:39:36,180 --> 00:39:39,364
???
944
00:39:39,464 --> 00:39:42,066
[sighs] Okay.
945
00:39:43,948 --> 00:39:45,610
???
946
00:39:45,710 --> 00:39:47,492
[Barton laughs]
947
00:39:47,592 --> 00:39:50,695
Man, Richard's always running late.
948
00:39:50,795 --> 00:39:53,318
I've yet to meet a star who wasn't.
949
00:39:58,963 --> 00:40:01,306
Mitch, while I've got your ear,
950
00:40:01,406 --> 00:40:04,148
you know King Theodore's.
951
00:40:04,248 --> 00:40:06,190
I know where it's located.
952
00:40:06,290 --> 00:40:08,032
You should drop by sometime.
953
00:40:08,132 --> 00:40:09,834
Tell that to the comics.
954
00:40:09,934 --> 00:40:11,596
You know I'm investing,
955
00:40:11,696 --> 00:40:13,358
building the place up.
956
00:40:13,458 --> 00:40:17,342
It would mean a lot if you
would grace our little club.
957
00:40:20,144 --> 00:40:24,369
Look, Barton, I got things
to do and places to be.
958
00:40:24,469 --> 00:40:28,673
Maybe Richard can reschedule
with my secretary.
959
00:40:30,595 --> 00:40:32,257
Of course.
960
00:40:32,357 --> 00:40:34,178
Busy man, places to go.
961
00:40:34,278 --> 00:40:35,440
Thanks for understanding.
962
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:37,342
[laughs] I just thought,
963
00:40:37,442 --> 00:40:39,704
since we've already
done business together,
964
00:40:39,804 --> 00:40:42,947
a little visit from you to
give the club credibility
965
00:40:43,047 --> 00:40:45,590
with the other comics wouldn't
be out of the question.
966
00:40:45,690 --> 00:40:47,552
[chuckles] Business?
967
00:40:47,652 --> 00:40:49,073
What business?
968
00:40:49,173 --> 00:40:52,116
Little place of mine on Laurel Canyon.
969
00:40:52,216 --> 00:40:56,100
You're a member, in good standing.
970
00:41:02,467 --> 00:41:04,469
Those your kids?
971
00:41:06,391 --> 00:41:09,294
? solemn guitar music ?
972
00:41:09,394 --> 00:41:14,278
???
973
00:41:29,133 --> 00:41:34,018
???
974
00:41:35,980 --> 00:41:38,683
Yes, sir, yeah, I-I'll be there.
975
00:41:38,783 --> 00:41:41,666
Thank you. Thanks, thank you.
976
00:41:45,950 --> 00:41:47,612
Well, what did Ernie say?
977
00:41:47,712 --> 00:41:48,893
He get you fired, or what?
978
00:41:48,993 --> 00:41:51,896
No, he thought I was funny,
979
00:41:51,996 --> 00:41:54,218
and he likes my look,
980
00:41:54,318 --> 00:41:56,060
and wants me to come in
981
00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:58,483
and audition for a guest role on
one of his sitcoms next week.
982
00:41:58,563 --> 00:42:00,505
- [laughing] Hey!
- [squeals]
983
00:42:00,605 --> 00:42:02,026
- It's the fucking book!
- All right!
984
00:42:02,126 --> 00:42:04,108
- It's the book!
- Holy crap!
985
00:42:04,208 --> 00:42:06,631
- [laughs]
- That's great, pal, congrats.
986
00:42:06,731 --> 00:42:08,433
You really...
987
00:42:08,533 --> 00:42:11,315
well, what's the opposite
of deserved or earned?
988
00:42:11,415 --> 00:42:12,837
[laughter]
989
00:42:12,937 --> 00:42:14,619
Ronnie, you asked and
the universe provided.
990
00:42:14,699 --> 00:42:17,602
Yeah, I-I can't believe
how much time I wasted
991
00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:20,124
looking for jobs when I
could've just been manifesting.
992
00:42:20,224 --> 00:42:21,846
[sucks in air] [groans]
993
00:42:21,946 --> 00:42:25,730
Jesus, it's like my father's
drowning all over again.
994
00:42:25,830 --> 00:42:28,753
Okay, dude, seriously,
call a fucking hotline.
995
00:42:33,638 --> 00:42:36,521
Did you see where I put my boots?
996
00:42:37,722 --> 00:42:39,724
Right here.
997
00:42:41,085 --> 00:42:42,266
Oh. [chuckles]
998
00:42:42,366 --> 00:42:44,489
I'm such a jelly head.
999
00:42:45,810 --> 00:42:48,393
[chuckles]
1000
00:42:48,493 --> 00:42:50,655
You sure you can't come tonight?
1001
00:42:52,497 --> 00:42:54,499
[kisses]
1002
00:42:58,783 --> 00:43:02,927
I'll blow you on the bus.
1003
00:43:03,027 --> 00:43:05,029
[sighs]
1004
00:43:06,430 --> 00:43:08,693
It's tempting.
1005
00:43:08,793 --> 00:43:10,194
I gotta sort out all
this agent shit here
1006
00:43:10,274 --> 00:43:12,276
before the buzz dies down.
1007
00:43:14,358 --> 00:43:16,180
But you'll be there, right?
1008
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,282
Tuesday night?
1009
00:43:22,687 --> 00:43:24,689
Of course.
1010
00:43:27,772 --> 00:43:29,774
Take the 11:40 bus, okay?
1011
00:43:31,335 --> 00:43:35,219
Anything later on a weekday
will get you in too late.
1012
00:43:41,065 --> 00:43:43,788
Especially with traffic.
1013
00:43:47,311 --> 00:43:50,334
? lively rock music ?
1014
00:43:50,434 --> 00:43:52,136
Ralph, are you supporting his head?
1015
00:43:52,236 --> 00:43:54,098
- I-I got him.
- Act like you love him.
1016
00:43:54,198 --> 00:43:55,319
Pretend he's a Christmas ham.
1017
00:43:55,399 --> 00:43:57,221
Okay, here it is. [chuckles]
1018
00:43:57,321 --> 00:43:59,063
???
1019
00:43:59,163 --> 00:44:02,066
[unintelligible chatter]
1020
00:44:02,166 --> 00:44:04,228
???
1021
00:44:04,328 --> 00:44:05,389
What have I missed?
1022
00:44:05,489 --> 00:44:06,751
- Ooh.
- Oh, ho, ho, ho!
1023
00:44:06,851 --> 00:44:08,232
- Baby.
- [laughs]
1024
00:44:08,332 --> 00:44:10,715
[Cassie] Well, look at you.
You're looking good.
1025
00:44:10,815 --> 00:44:12,617
What do you got, like, a
court appearance later?
1026
00:44:12,697 --> 00:44:14,078
[Edgar] Oh, that's hilarious, Cass.
1027
00:44:14,178 --> 00:44:16,160
Hey, what's the statute
of limitations on lame?
1028
00:44:16,260 --> 00:44:18,102
[Cassie] Oh, they fucked the
funny out of you in prison?
1029
00:44:18,182 --> 00:44:19,383
[Edgar] [mock laughs] Like I said.
1030
00:44:19,463 --> 00:44:22,206
- [laughs]
- All right, come on, follow me.
1031
00:44:22,306 --> 00:44:23,307
I guess we're following Edgar now.
1032
00:44:23,387 --> 00:44:24,729
[laughs]
1033
00:44:24,829 --> 00:44:26,390
I've never followed Edgar
anywhere, and I...
1034
00:44:26,470 --> 00:44:28,693
- All right, listen up.
- [chuckles]
1035
00:44:28,793 --> 00:44:31,135
I've decided to make some
positive life changes,
1036
00:44:31,235 --> 00:44:33,618
and I am giving up drugs,
selling and using.
1037
00:44:33,718 --> 00:44:35,299
Fucking have at it.
1038
00:44:35,399 --> 00:44:36,781
- [Ron] Holy shit!
- [Cassie] Oh, my God.
1039
00:44:36,881 --> 00:44:38,082
- Oh, my God, Edgar.
- Take whatever you want.
1040
00:44:38,162 --> 00:44:39,243
Edgar, there are children here.
1041
00:44:39,323 --> 00:44:41,125
What do you have in a
nice house hallucinogen?
1042
00:44:41,205 --> 00:44:45,670
I'm glad you asked... I have
some acid, mescaline, and oh,
1043
00:44:45,770 --> 00:44:49,594
my favorite organic hallucinogen
of choice, mushrooms.
1044
00:44:49,694 --> 00:44:50,635
Oh, hell yes.
1045
00:44:50,735 --> 00:44:52,436
- See you later.
- Yup.
1046
00:44:52,536 --> 00:44:54,959
[sighs]
1047
00:44:55,059 --> 00:44:56,080
[knocks]
1048
00:44:56,180 --> 00:44:57,361
Yeah?
1049
00:44:57,461 --> 00:44:58,743
Hey, uh, I need to know something.
1050
00:44:58,823 --> 00:45:02,166
What... what is your plan for me here?
1051
00:45:02,266 --> 00:45:03,608
We're working the plan.
1052
00:45:03,708 --> 00:45:05,109
You're in the Cellar, honing your craft.
1053
00:45:05,189 --> 00:45:06,851
No, my craft's already honed.
1054
00:45:06,951 --> 00:45:08,552
I'm killing it every
night in the Cellar.
1055
00:45:08,633 --> 00:45:10,174
All right? I need the Main Stage.
1056
00:45:10,274 --> 00:45:12,657
Jesus. You kids and the Main Stage
1057
00:45:12,757 --> 00:45:14,398
are like lemmings heading off a cliff.
1058
00:45:14,478 --> 00:45:16,060
Well, how about a straight answer?
1059
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:18,543
No chickens, no lemmings, no...
1060
00:45:18,643 --> 00:45:21,085
no struggle, just a
straight fucking answer.
1061
00:45:24,128 --> 00:45:26,510
You hear Barton coming
out of your mouth?
1062
00:45:26,610 --> 00:45:28,172
You think 'cause some guy offers you
1063
00:45:28,252 --> 00:45:30,955
the moon and the stars,
he can actually deliver?
1064
00:45:31,055 --> 00:45:32,476
Barton's offering cash...
1065
00:45:32,576 --> 00:45:34,198
- [scoffs]
- and stage time
1066
00:45:34,298 --> 00:45:36,080
- and a marquee.
- Oh, Jesus.
1067
00:45:36,180 --> 00:45:38,422
You're the only one offering
the moon and the stars.
1068
00:45:40,384 --> 00:45:43,327
I just want to see something, Goldie.
1069
00:45:43,427 --> 00:45:45,509
'Cause I heard enough.
1070
00:45:50,835 --> 00:45:52,416
? I came along and did... ?
1071
00:45:52,516 --> 00:45:53,678
[Bill] Probably gonna eat it again, too.
1072
00:45:53,758 --> 00:45:55,099
Haven't eaten in, like, two days.
1073
00:45:55,199 --> 00:45:58,262
Hey, Ralph. You... you
mind if I sit down?
1074
00:45:58,362 --> 00:46:00,104
[Ralph] Go ahead.
1075
00:46:00,204 --> 00:46:02,907
? But now you tell me
I ain't good enough ?
1076
00:46:03,007 --> 00:46:07,992
So, I was thinking about
what you said, and, um,
1077
00:46:08,092 --> 00:46:11,676
I am a Jack. I-I let you down,
1078
00:46:11,776 --> 00:46:13,598
and I get it now.
1079
00:46:13,698 --> 00:46:15,399
? You either beat me up ?
1080
00:46:15,499 --> 00:46:17,962
Edgar...
1081
00:46:18,062 --> 00:46:20,044
we been friends a long time.
1082
00:46:20,144 --> 00:46:22,566
Everybody make mistakes.
1083
00:46:22,666 --> 00:46:25,610
I see the righteous man in you.
1084
00:46:25,710 --> 00:46:28,893
He's way in the back,
cowering in the corner.
1085
00:46:28,993 --> 00:46:30,855
He's inside there,
1086
00:46:30,955 --> 00:46:34,218
but he can't hide from me.
1087
00:46:34,318 --> 00:46:36,500
Can't hide from me.
1088
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:38,142
? Oh mama ?
1089
00:46:38,242 --> 00:46:41,906
Mmm. I love you, buddy.
1090
00:46:42,006 --> 00:46:43,988
[whispering] I love you.
1091
00:46:44,088 --> 00:46:45,189
Damn.
1092
00:46:45,289 --> 00:46:48,633
???
1093
00:46:48,733 --> 00:46:50,755
He loves you?
1094
00:46:50,855 --> 00:46:54,438
I crushed up some MDMA and
I put it in his drink.
1095
00:46:54,538 --> 00:46:58,482
The fucking guy threw
somebody from a helicopter.
1096
00:46:58,582 --> 00:46:59,563
???
1097
00:46:59,663 --> 00:47:02,126
Seems to be having fun.
1098
00:47:02,226 --> 00:47:04,849
[Ron] I think the universe
is holding me up right now.
1099
00:47:04,949 --> 00:47:07,852
[pop music playing]
1100
00:47:07,952 --> 00:47:12,837
???
1101
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:17,762
[clears throat]
1102
00:47:20,364 --> 00:47:22,426
Hey.
1103
00:47:22,526 --> 00:47:25,750
Ahem. Um...
1104
00:47:25,850 --> 00:47:27,752
so I've reconsidered, and, uh,
1105
00:47:27,852 --> 00:47:29,513
if your offer's still good,
1106
00:47:29,613 --> 00:47:31,535
there's an old refrigerator out
back that the raccoons said
1107
00:47:31,615 --> 00:47:34,118
we could use when they
were done fucking.
1108
00:47:34,218 --> 00:47:37,561
I'm so sorry. That was...
1109
00:47:37,661 --> 00:47:40,564
probably the stupidest
thing I've ever done.
1110
00:47:40,664 --> 00:47:44,368
No, I-I think my passing was
the stupidest, actually.
1111
00:47:44,468 --> 00:47:46,570
[laughs] Anyhow, um,
1112
00:47:46,670 --> 00:47:50,454
you were a friend to
me when I needed one.
1113
00:47:50,554 --> 00:47:52,556
I can be a friend to you.
1114
00:47:53,878 --> 00:47:55,099
Really?
1115
00:47:55,199 --> 00:47:57,481
Yes, absolutely.
1116
00:48:00,124 --> 00:48:01,185
Beer?
1117
00:48:01,285 --> 00:48:02,126
[Cassie] Yeah, that'd be great.
1118
00:48:02,206 --> 00:48:04,208
- Yeah.
- [Cassie] Okay.
1119
00:48:05,970 --> 00:48:10,074
? I'm getting kind of tired now ?
1120
00:48:10,174 --> 00:48:14,078
? And I'd like to settle down ?
1121
00:48:14,178 --> 00:48:16,280
I forgot to tell you, um,
1122
00:48:16,380 --> 00:48:19,163
my mom's making these
little apple meatloafs
1123
00:48:19,263 --> 00:48:21,926
for your visit.
1124
00:48:22,026 --> 00:48:26,330
Everybody gets their own and
they've got brown sugar on top.
1125
00:48:26,430 --> 00:48:30,014
? Those emotions more advanced ?
1126
00:48:30,114 --> 00:48:34,498
She was so wrong about you. I saw it.
1127
00:48:34,598 --> 00:48:37,141
I saw it right from the start.
1128
00:48:37,241 --> 00:48:38,903
???
1129
00:48:39,003 --> 00:48:43,107
? And I'm getting kind of tired now ?
1130
00:48:43,207 --> 00:48:47,031
? 'Cause I've carried quite a load ?
1131
00:48:47,131 --> 00:48:51,035
? And don't know which way I'm going ?
1132
00:48:51,135 --> 00:48:52,476
? I'm just going where I go ?
1133
00:48:52,576 --> 00:48:55,159
Better get on that bus.
1134
00:48:55,259 --> 00:48:59,163
? Little dewdrops fall to drink ?
1135
00:48:59,263 --> 00:49:02,646
? Silver minutes time to think ?
1136
00:49:02,746 --> 00:49:04,688
? I'm ready to go now ?
1137
00:49:04,788 --> 00:49:07,892
Take care, okay? [clears throat]
1138
00:49:07,992 --> 00:49:12,897
? I'm getting kind of tired now ?
1139
00:49:12,997 --> 00:49:16,300
? And I'd like to settle ?
1140
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:19,303
???
1141
00:49:19,403 --> 00:49:23,868
? And I've played the games already ?
1142
00:49:23,968 --> 00:49:25,870
It was just a ring, Nicky.
1143
00:49:25,970 --> 00:49:27,671
? And the fun is wearing out ?
1144
00:49:27,771 --> 00:49:31,715
? As I sit here with the rest ?
1145
00:49:31,815 --> 00:49:35,239
? Go through motions or at best ?
1146
00:49:35,339 --> 00:49:39,243
? I'm ready to go now ?
1147
00:49:39,343 --> 00:49:44,228
???
1148
00:49:49,713 --> 00:49:51,575
Is one of those for me?
1149
00:49:51,675 --> 00:49:52,576
Um... [chuckles]
1150
00:49:52,676 --> 00:49:53,898
No, for a friend,
1151
00:49:53,998 --> 00:49:55,940
but I-I can go back and
I can get you one.
1152
00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:56,821
I'm kidding.
1153
00:49:56,921 --> 00:49:57,942
[both laughing]
1154
00:49:58,042 --> 00:49:59,263
I-I don't know anyone here,
1155
00:49:59,363 --> 00:50:01,946
so that was just my lame
attempt at flirting.
1156
00:50:02,046 --> 00:50:05,189
Well, uh, I... you could walk with me
1157
00:50:05,289 --> 00:50:07,992
while I think of my lame
attempt at a response.
1158
00:50:08,092 --> 00:50:10,074
Okay. [laughs]
1159
00:50:10,174 --> 00:50:11,315
- Sorry, sorry.
- Sorry.
1160
00:50:11,415 --> 00:50:12,316
Here we are.
1161
00:50:12,416 --> 00:50:13,637
[both laughing]
1162
00:50:13,737 --> 00:50:14,959
Oh, here you go.
1163
00:50:15,059 --> 00:50:17,401
Um... oh, Cassie, this is, um...
1164
00:50:17,501 --> 00:50:18,722
- Sorry, what was...
- Oh, Sabrina.
1165
00:50:18,822 --> 00:50:20,164
- Sabrina.
- And you're...?
1166
00:50:20,264 --> 00:50:21,245
Eddie.
1167
00:50:21,345 --> 00:50:22,386
My brother's name's Eddie.
1168
00:50:22,466 --> 00:50:23,647
- Really?
- Yeah.
1169
00:50:23,747 --> 00:50:24,949
- Good name.
- That is incredible.
1170
00:50:25,029 --> 00:50:27,251
- Mm.
- So, is that short for...
1171
00:50:27,351 --> 00:50:29,093
Eduardo, or...
1172
00:50:29,193 --> 00:50:30,774
- Yes, yes, Eduardo.
- Oh, Eduardo.
1173
00:50:30,874 --> 00:50:32,616
My father was an explorer.
1174
00:50:32,716 --> 00:50:36,220
Blacks have the fist in
the air, black power.
1175
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:39,463
Jews, we're more of a shrug.
1176
00:50:39,563 --> 00:50:41,946
How about a hunger strike? Eh.
1177
00:50:42,046 --> 00:50:43,547
A hunger strike?
1178
00:50:43,647 --> 00:50:47,231
Our whole existence
is based on eat, eat.
1179
00:50:47,331 --> 00:50:49,193
Which rules out sit-ins.
1180
00:50:49,293 --> 00:50:50,654
You want me to go to a restaurant,
1181
00:50:50,734 --> 00:50:54,358
sit at the counter, and
not order anything?
1182
00:50:54,458 --> 00:50:56,720
Not even a roll?
1183
00:50:56,820 --> 00:50:58,802
How is this helping anyone?
1184
00:50:58,902 --> 00:51:02,726
Plus we lose half our people
at sundown on Friday night.
1185
00:51:02,826 --> 00:51:06,250
And that's really when riots
are taking off, at sundown.
1186
00:51:06,350 --> 00:51:07,771
We're not an athletic people.
1187
00:51:07,871 --> 00:51:09,473
To sprint while carrying a television,
1188
00:51:09,553 --> 00:51:12,016
that is a tall order.
1189
00:51:12,116 --> 00:51:14,418
There he is.
1190
00:51:14,518 --> 00:51:18,502
Please, give Goldie my best.
1191
00:51:18,602 --> 00:51:20,864
'Cause that's what I intend to do.
1192
00:51:20,964 --> 00:51:22,826
[Gabe] What would my mother say?
1193
00:51:22,926 --> 00:51:25,349
? Janis Joplin's "Piece Of My Heart" ?
1194
00:51:25,449 --> 00:51:28,592
? Oh, come on, come on ?
1195
00:51:28,692 --> 00:51:32,436
? Come on, come on ?
1196
00:51:32,536 --> 00:51:33,777
[Maggie] Have you ever
danced naked in the rain?
1197
00:51:33,857 --> 00:51:35,279
I really wish it would rain in L.A.,
1198
00:51:35,379 --> 00:51:36,420
but that's what I miss
the most about home,
1199
00:51:36,500 --> 00:51:38,202
it doesn't do it.
1200
00:51:38,302 --> 00:51:39,863
I can see your nipples
through your shirt
1201
00:51:39,943 --> 00:51:41,845
and I'm fully erect.
1202
00:51:41,945 --> 00:51:45,729
? Yeah, and didn't I give
you nearly everything ?
1203
00:51:45,829 --> 00:51:48,052
Okay, now you say
something nice about me.
1204
00:51:48,152 --> 00:51:50,134
? Honey, you know I did ?
1205
00:51:50,234 --> 00:51:52,736
? And each time I tell
myself that I... ?
1206
00:51:52,836 --> 00:51:54,498
Oh! I am manifesting
1207
00:51:54,598 --> 00:51:56,040
the ever-loving fuck
out of you right now.
1208
00:51:56,120 --> 00:51:58,302
Yes! Yes, do that. Keep manifesting.
1209
00:51:58,402 --> 00:51:59,623
- Damn!
- Keep...
1210
00:51:59,723 --> 00:52:01,305
I'm believing! I'm believing!
1211
00:52:01,405 --> 00:52:04,068
Why can't I fucking come?
1212
00:52:04,168 --> 00:52:05,549
Do truck drivers not come?
1213
00:52:05,649 --> 00:52:06,951
I don't know any truck drivers.
1214
00:52:07,051 --> 00:52:08,912
[both panting]
1215
00:52:09,012 --> 00:52:11,715
Oh, your hair is so soft and shiny.
1216
00:52:11,815 --> 00:52:14,238
My neighbor had an
angora goat growing up.
1217
00:52:14,338 --> 00:52:15,559
Your hair's like that,
1218
00:52:15,659 --> 00:52:17,241
except without the sour goat smell.
1219
00:52:17,341 --> 00:52:18,982
Edgar said that this
was truck driver speed
1220
00:52:19,063 --> 00:52:20,644
so that they could drive all night,
1221
00:52:20,744 --> 00:52:23,287
so you're gonna have to drive
me all night long, baby.
1222
00:52:23,387 --> 00:52:24,368
Okay.
1223
00:52:24,468 --> 00:52:25,449
- Keep going!
- I got...
1224
00:52:25,549 --> 00:52:26,770
- [grunts]
- Keep going!
1225
00:52:26,870 --> 00:52:28,812
[baby squealing]
1226
00:52:28,912 --> 00:52:30,134
[Maggie chuckling]
1227
00:52:30,234 --> 00:52:32,236
[babbling]
1228
00:52:33,837 --> 00:52:34,798
We're in the baby's room.
1229
00:52:34,878 --> 00:52:37,181
Shh. Did you hear that?
1230
00:52:37,281 --> 00:52:38,422
[baby babbling]
1231
00:52:38,522 --> 00:52:39,603
I think we're in a baby's room.
1232
00:52:39,683 --> 00:52:40,804
I can't come with a baby in here.
1233
00:52:40,884 --> 00:52:42,066
- [babbling]
- [Ron] Bad baby.
1234
00:52:42,166 --> 00:52:44,068
- It's gonna crawl out.
- Shh.
1235
00:52:44,168 --> 00:52:46,290
- [Ron] Go back to sleep.- [Maggie] Get back inside.
1236
00:52:46,370 --> 00:52:47,671
[laughter]
1237
00:52:47,771 --> 00:52:48,792
I gave her speed.
1238
00:52:48,892 --> 00:52:50,154
You know what's funny?
1239
00:52:50,254 --> 00:52:51,095
Now there's two baby dicks in there.
1240
00:52:51,175 --> 00:52:52,196
[laughter]
1241
00:52:52,296 --> 00:52:54,798
Honey, did you get buns?
1242
00:52:54,898 --> 00:52:57,521
You didn't ask for buns.
You asked for hamburger.
1243
00:52:57,621 --> 00:52:59,443
Sully! Are people supposed to eat
1244
00:52:59,543 --> 00:53:01,305
hamburger patties with their bare hands?
1245
00:53:01,385 --> 00:53:02,506
400 bucks, you'd think it would come
1246
00:53:02,586 --> 00:53:04,128
with some fucking food in it.
1247
00:53:04,228 --> 00:53:05,829
Nothing wrong with the old one.
The old one was fine.
1248
00:53:05,909 --> 00:53:08,372
The old one didn't work. It
froze all my breast milk.
1249
00:53:08,472 --> 00:53:10,494
For a refrigerator, that's
the very definition
1250
00:53:10,594 --> 00:53:11,875
- of working, Betts.
- What is with you?
1251
00:53:11,955 --> 00:53:13,337
You don't stop.
1252
00:53:13,437 --> 00:53:15,859
"Get a job, get a raise,
get more hamburger.
1253
00:53:15,959 --> 00:53:17,141
Get home for dinner."
1254
00:53:17,241 --> 00:53:18,242
So what, you don't want this?
1255
00:53:18,322 --> 00:53:19,863
Okay, always twisting my words.
1256
00:53:19,963 --> 00:53:21,044
[Maggie] [over intercom] You
have to fuck me harder!
1257
00:53:21,125 --> 00:53:22,546
- Oh!
- [laughter]
1258
00:53:22,646 --> 00:53:24,548
- [Ron] Okay, can we stop?- [baby babbles]
1259
00:53:24,648 --> 00:53:27,231
[Ron] I think I'm getting
a boo-boo on my privates.
1260
00:53:27,331 --> 00:53:29,913
- Whoa.
- This was a really nice party.
1261
00:53:30,013 --> 00:53:32,015
I-I need my jacket.
1262
00:53:33,857 --> 00:53:35,859
I never came, if that helps.
1263
00:53:37,661 --> 00:53:40,444
So when it's 2:00 a.m., and
your son won't stop crying
1264
00:53:40,544 --> 00:53:43,247
because he wants his daddy,
it's because you'll be out
1265
00:53:43,347 --> 00:53:45,529
having pancakes with these people?
1266
00:53:45,629 --> 00:53:48,011
No, because I don't go
to Canter's anymore.
1267
00:53:48,111 --> 00:53:50,614
I barely get any stage time,
because I have to get up
1268
00:53:50,714 --> 00:53:52,936
in the morning and go to
my soul-sucking sales job
1269
00:53:53,036 --> 00:53:55,419
so I can pay for things
like that baby monitor,
1270
00:53:55,519 --> 00:53:57,040
or a fridge the size
of the Grand Canyon,
1271
00:53:57,120 --> 00:53:58,742
or God forbid, a fucking house!
1272
00:53:58,842 --> 00:54:01,185
I am so sick of you blaming me
1273
00:54:01,285 --> 00:54:04,148
for your lack of success.
1274
00:54:04,248 --> 00:54:06,530
Lack of success?
1275
00:54:09,132 --> 00:54:13,277
You are a real bitch,
Betts, you know that?
1276
00:54:13,377 --> 00:54:15,519
And you're a salesman.
1277
00:54:15,619 --> 00:54:17,621
[sniffs]
1278
00:54:22,466 --> 00:54:24,768
[door closes]
1279
00:54:24,868 --> 00:54:25,789
No, actually, that's disgusting.
1280
00:54:25,869 --> 00:54:27,811
[both laughing]
1281
00:54:27,911 --> 00:54:29,733
Uh, one sec, let me...
I'll just be right back.
1282
00:54:29,833 --> 00:54:30,854
Okay.
1283
00:54:30,954 --> 00:54:32,616
Hey, you getting out of here?
1284
00:54:32,716 --> 00:54:36,220
Yeah, Goldie wants that sketch,
so I should probably...
1285
00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:37,921
Well, if you still want,
I could come by later
1286
00:54:38,001 --> 00:54:39,463
and, you know, go over it.
1287
00:54:39,563 --> 00:54:42,186
No, please, go, before
she puts on underwear.
1288
00:54:42,286 --> 00:54:43,667
Yeah, you're right.
1289
00:54:43,767 --> 00:54:45,249
She's so inappropriately dressed.
1290
00:54:45,329 --> 00:54:46,750
I think I could stand on her tits
1291
00:54:46,850 --> 00:54:48,031
and see my house from here.
1292
00:54:48,131 --> 00:54:50,674
[laughs]
1293
00:54:50,774 --> 00:54:52,116
You... you sure?
1294
00:54:52,216 --> 00:54:53,797
Yeah, have fun. Just don't take her
1295
00:54:53,897 --> 00:54:56,600
to the supply closet,
because that's our place.
1296
00:54:56,700 --> 00:54:58,702
I wouldn't think of it.
1297
00:55:00,824 --> 00:55:02,726
I'll see you later.
1298
00:55:02,826 --> 00:55:05,409
? solemn jazz music ?
1299
00:55:05,509 --> 00:55:06,410
Hi.
1300
00:55:06,510 --> 00:55:08,051
You told your friend?
1301
00:55:08,151 --> 00:55:10,254
- [Eddie] Yeah, um...
- [Sabrina] I like her dress.
1302
00:55:10,354 --> 00:55:11,795
[Eddie] Yeah, she likes your dress too.
1303
00:55:11,875 --> 00:55:14,738
That's it? You're leaving?
1304
00:55:14,838 --> 00:55:17,060
Fine, go!
1305
00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:18,542
Go, you fucking coward!
1306
00:55:18,642 --> 00:55:20,504
Fuck you! Fuck you!
1307
00:55:20,604 --> 00:55:25,489
???
1308
00:55:30,374 --> 00:55:32,396
[clicking tongue]
1309
00:55:32,496 --> 00:55:33,957
[distant dog barking]
1310
00:55:34,057 --> 00:55:36,440
[whistles]
1311
00:55:36,540 --> 00:55:38,442
[clicking tongue]
1312
00:55:38,542 --> 00:55:41,445
???
1313
00:55:41,545 --> 00:55:43,447
Max?
1314
00:55:43,547 --> 00:55:45,449
???
1315
00:55:45,549 --> 00:55:47,010
Max?
1316
00:55:47,110 --> 00:55:51,995
???
1317
00:55:54,117 --> 00:55:57,020
[sobs] Max?
1318
00:55:57,120 --> 00:56:02,005
???
1319
00:56:09,092 --> 00:56:12,075
???
1320
00:56:12,175 --> 00:56:14,037
Don't forget towels.
1321
00:56:14,137 --> 00:56:15,759
Yeah.
1322
00:56:15,859 --> 00:56:19,723
Hey, can I ask you something?
1323
00:56:19,823 --> 00:56:22,265
Is Barton a good man?
1324
00:56:23,787 --> 00:56:24,908
I'm the wrong person to ask
1325
00:56:24,988 --> 00:56:27,611
about the contents of men's souls.
1326
00:56:27,711 --> 00:56:30,934
No, I mean, is he a man of his word?
1327
00:56:31,034 --> 00:56:33,056
Yes.
1328
00:56:33,156 --> 00:56:36,059
Why you hesitate?
1329
00:56:36,159 --> 00:56:39,383
'Cause a man of his word
isn't always a good thing.
1330
00:56:39,483 --> 00:56:41,225
???
1331
00:56:41,325 --> 00:56:44,908
[Sonja] Why are you asking?
1332
00:56:45,008 --> 00:56:47,150
I don't know, I guess I'm
just trying to figure out
1333
00:56:47,250 --> 00:56:49,473
what's real and shit.
1334
00:56:49,573 --> 00:56:51,315
[Sonja] Life is a constant vacillation
1335
00:56:51,415 --> 00:56:54,918
between buyer's remorse
and seller's remorse.
1336
00:56:55,018 --> 00:56:58,522
I find it best to pick your
poison and live with it.
1337
00:56:58,622 --> 00:57:03,507
???
1338
00:57:11,515 --> 00:57:14,017
I heard you were at Teddy's last night.
1339
00:57:14,117 --> 00:57:16,019
I'm not booking anyone from there.
1340
00:57:16,119 --> 00:57:19,623
[Goldie] So why fucking go?
1341
00:57:19,723 --> 00:57:23,006
Because I have a wife and kids.
1342
00:57:26,970 --> 00:57:30,674
You stupid fuck.
1343
00:57:30,774 --> 00:57:33,677
? Alan Price's "O Lucky Man!" ?
1344
00:57:33,777 --> 00:57:38,201
???
1345
00:57:38,301 --> 00:57:41,565
? If you have a friend on
whom you think you can rely ?
1346
00:57:41,665 --> 00:57:45,969
? You are a lucky man ?
1347
00:57:46,069 --> 00:57:49,172
? If you've found the reason
to live on and not to die ?
1348
00:57:49,272 --> 00:57:53,777
? You are a lucky man ?
1349
00:57:53,877 --> 00:57:56,980
? Preachers and poets and
scholars don't know it ?
1350
00:57:57,080 --> 00:58:00,624
? Temples and statues and
steeples won't show it ?
1351
00:58:00,724 --> 00:58:03,747
? If you've got the secret
just try not to blow it ?
1352
00:58:03,847 --> 00:58:07,631
? Stay a lucky man ?
1353
00:58:07,731 --> 00:58:09,913
? A lucky man ?
1354
00:58:10,013 --> 00:58:11,555
???
1355
00:58:11,655 --> 00:58:13,116
? If you've found the meaning ?
1356
00:58:13,216 --> 00:58:14,498
? Of the truth in this old world ?
1357
00:58:14,578 --> 00:58:18,482
? You are a lucky man ?
1358
00:58:18,582 --> 00:58:20,143
? If knowledge hangs around your neck ?
1359
00:58:20,223 --> 00:58:21,705
? Like pearls instead of chains ?
1360
00:58:21,785 --> 00:58:24,047
? You are a lucky man ?
1361
00:58:24,147 --> 00:58:25,849
???
1362
00:58:25,949 --> 00:58:29,413
? Takers and fakers and
talkers won't tell ya ?
1363
00:58:29,513 --> 00:58:32,776
? Teachers and preachers
will just buy and sell ya ?
1364
00:58:32,876 --> 00:58:35,939
? When no one can tempt
you with heaven or hell ?
1365
00:58:36,039 --> 00:58:38,321
? You'll be a lucky man ?
1366
00:58:38,371 --> 00:58:42,921
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