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1
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[choir leader]
Can I hear the opening word?
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00:00:49,342 --> 00:00:50,635
♪ "O" ♪
3
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:53,012
Here we go. One, two, three.
4
00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:56,515
[students] ♪ O... ♪
5
00:00:56,599 --> 00:01:00,353
[choir leader]
Very good. Remember the text is first.
6
00:01:00,436 --> 00:01:02,104
In the beginning was the word.
7
00:01:02,188 --> 00:01:05,358
So the text is what
you're concentrating on.
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00:01:05,441 --> 00:01:08,361
Make it part of the music.
9
00:01:08,444 --> 00:01:10,404
- Let's all breathe in.
- [all inhale deeply]
10
00:01:10,488 --> 00:01:12,156
- Breathe out.
- [all exhale deeply]
11
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:15,201
Excellent. Now, let's hear
the opening chord.
12
00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:20,539
[harmonizing] ♪ O... ♪
13
00:01:20,623 --> 00:01:23,000
Good. Middle voices,
a little bit more.
14
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:26,045
Higher voices are excellent.
Bass, a little more breath.
15
00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:27,672
Try again.
16
00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:30,925
[harmonizing] ♪ O... ♪
17
00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:32,843
Okay, let's run the first verse.
18
00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:33,928
One...
19
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:40,059
[all] ♪ O, little town of Bethlehem ♪
20
00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:45,398
♪ How still we see thee lie ♪
21
00:01:45,481 --> 00:01:50,861
♪ Above thy deep and dreamless sleep ♪
22
00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:56,325
♪ The silent stars go by ♪
23
00:01:56,409 --> 00:02:02,039
♪ Yet in thy dark streets shineth ♪
24
00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:07,003
♪ The everlasting light ♪
25
00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:13,050
♪ The hopes and fears of all the years ♪
26
00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:19,432
♪ Are met in thee tonight ♪
27
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:24,437
Really great, especially
that "T" at the end. All together.
28
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,148
Very, very good. Excellent.
29
00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:29,442
["Silver Joy" playing]
30
00:02:36,699 --> 00:02:39,910
♪ Let me sleep ♪
31
00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:43,998
♪ In the slumber of the morning ♪
32
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:46,042
[students laughing]
33
00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:49,545
♪ There's nowhere I need to be ♪
34
00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:53,090
♪ And my dreams still are calling ♪
35
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:59,347
♪ Lay your troubles on the ground ♪
36
00:03:01,724 --> 00:03:05,770
♪ No need to worry about them now ♪
37
00:03:08,606 --> 00:03:11,400
♪ Daylight shaking through the trees ♪
38
00:03:11,484 --> 00:03:14,278
[chattering, laughing]
39
00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:16,322
♪ Do not disturb me ♪
40
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,825
♪ Let me be ♪
41
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:28,959
♪ If you need a place to land ♪
42
00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:32,588
♪ Come down when you are weary ♪
43
00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:38,719
♪ No more clouds to put away ♪
44
00:03:38,803 --> 00:03:40,638
♪ In the slumber of the... ♪
45
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:45,768
[classical music playing on sound system]
46
00:04:02,118 --> 00:04:03,536
[sighs]
47
00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:07,873
[muttering]
48
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:12,420
Hmm.
49
00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:15,089
[scoffs, chuckles]
50
00:04:16,549 --> 00:04:19,135
Hmm. [scoffs]
51
00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:21,220
Philistines.
52
00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:25,808
Lazy, vulgar, rancid little Philistines.
53
00:04:26,684 --> 00:04:27,685
[knock on door]
54
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:30,521
- [colleague] Mr. Hunham?
- I'm busy right now.
55
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,481
Uh, Dr. Woodrup asked to see you.
56
00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:36,318
[sighs]
57
00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:38,571
[grunts]
58
00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:46,704
What does he want?
59
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,123
I-I-I think it's about Christmas break.
60
00:04:49,832 --> 00:04:53,377
I'll see him presently. What's that?
61
00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:57,089
Christmas cookies.
I made them for the faculty.
62
00:04:57,173 --> 00:04:59,341
[whispers] Well,
not all the faculty. [chuckles]
63
00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:02,887
- Anyway, these are for you.
- Oh.
64
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:03,971
[both chuckle]
65
00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:13,397
["Time Has Come Today" playing]
66
00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:15,483
[chattering]
67
00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:18,444
♪ Young hearts can go their way ♪
68
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:22,615
♪ Can't put it off another day ♪
69
00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:26,577
♪ I don't care what others say ♪
70
00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:30,080
♪ They say we don't listen anyway ♪
71
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,249
♪ Time has come today ♪
72
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:35,336
♪ Hey! ♪
73
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,763
Tully, what are you doing
with women's underwear?
74
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:49,517
It's the same swimsuit James Bond wears
in On Her Majesty's Secret Service.
75
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,435
You can't get more
masculine than that.
76
00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:53,479
Why don't you
just wear cut-offs?
77
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:54,980
'Cause I'm going to Saint Kitts.
78
00:05:55,064 --> 00:05:57,650
I'm not going to be the only dickhead
on the beach wearing cut-offs.
79
00:05:57,733 --> 00:06:02,154
Oh! Look out, everyone!
Tully's going to Saint Kitts.
80
00:06:02,238 --> 00:06:03,906
They still look like panties.
81
00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:06,909
You're right, Crandall.
You caught me.
82
00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:10,120
They're your mother's panties.
Tell her thanks for the good times.
83
00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:13,165
Hey, Tully!
Hey, where are my cigarettes?
84
00:06:13,249 --> 00:06:15,668
- Your cigarettes?
- You stole my fucking cigarettes!
85
00:06:15,751 --> 00:06:17,711
I resent that baseless accusation.
86
00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:19,922
Cut the shit.
I have no cigarettes now.
87
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:23,342
And Brigg says you suddenly have
five of them to trade for a skin mag.
88
00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:26,595
I don't indulge in pornography.
I get enough of the real thing.
89
00:06:26,679 --> 00:06:28,389
Especially with Crandall's mom!
90
00:06:29,515 --> 00:06:33,936
Hey, Kountze. $10 for this?
Looks more like a nickel bag.
91
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:35,938
Don't buy that, Harriman.
He's ripping you off.
92
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:38,148
- Plus it's ditch weed.
- Fuck you, Tully!
93
00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:42,194
This shit's premium weed, all right?
And unlike you, I'm stuck here.
94
00:06:42,278 --> 00:06:44,196
It's gotta last me
through Christmas.
95
00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:45,364
Take pity on him, Harriman.
96
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,658
He's a poor little Christmas orphan
with nowhere to go.
97
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,661
Little Christmas orphan needs
his pot and porn.
98
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:53,831
[sizzling]
99
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,332
[oven door closes]
100
00:07:02,131 --> 00:07:06,427
Ten minutes, ladies. Ten minutes.
101
00:07:08,804 --> 00:07:10,889
["Silver Joy" playing]
102
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:26,071
♪ Let me sleep ♪
103
00:07:26,155 --> 00:07:29,408
♪ In the slumber of tomorrow ♪
104
00:07:32,328 --> 00:07:35,706
♪ There's nowhere we need to be ♪
105
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,584
♪ That will not be there after ♪
106
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:41,170
[chattering]
107
00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:44,548
♪ Daylight shaking through the trees ♪
108
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,470
♪ Do not disturb me ♪
109
00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,598
♪ Let me be ♪
110
00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:58,896
♪ Keep me with you on the ground ♪
111
00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:04,902
♪ All of my worries behind me now ♪
112
00:08:08,364 --> 00:08:11,367
♪ And be sure to wake me when ♪
113
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:18,916
♪ Eternity begins ♪
114
00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:22,544
[indistinct]
115
00:08:23,379 --> 00:08:25,339
I can't believe you got out of it.
116
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:26,423
Luck of the Irish.
117
00:08:27,049 --> 00:08:28,467
I thought this was your year.
118
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:32,262
It was. I told Woodrup
my mother has lupus.
119
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:33,639
Does she?
120
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:36,141
I don't know. Probably.
121
00:08:36,225 --> 00:08:38,352
We don't talk about those things.
122
00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:40,062
So who got stuck with it?
123
00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:41,480
Who do you think?
124
00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:46,443
[faculty member]
That poor walleyed bastard.
125
00:08:50,489 --> 00:08:53,367
[pen scratching]
126
00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:07,631
Rémy Martin Louis XIII.
127
00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:10,050
Christmas gift from the Board of Trustees.
128
00:09:10,134 --> 00:09:12,344
Oh! How generous of them.
129
00:09:12,428 --> 00:09:14,138
Thank you again for doing this, Hunham.
130
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,765
I wouldn't have asked
if it weren't an emergency.
131
00:09:16,849 --> 00:09:20,686
Oh. Mr. Endicott's mother, right.
What a tragedy.
132
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:24,565
It's not as though you had plans
to leave campus anyway.
133
00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:27,276
And, of course,
there's a nice little bonus in it for you.
134
00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:31,697
Well. [sighs] Non nobis
solum nati sumus, I suppose.
135
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:37,244
"Not for ourselves alone
are we born."
136
00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,998
I'm guessing that's Cicero.
137
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:45,419
Cicero. Yes, very good, Hardy,
you remembered. [chuckles]
138
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:55,512
There'll be just four boys
holding over this year.
139
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:56,805
Mm-hmm.
140
00:09:58,182 --> 00:10:00,893
Oh, yes, I know
a couple of these reprobates.
141
00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:05,647
Let's be a little more elastic
in our assessment, shall we?
142
00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:08,317
It's hard enough for them to be
away from home on the holidays.
143
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,819
Latitude is the last thing
these boys need.
144
00:10:12,196 --> 00:10:16,158
Paul, at your core,
you're an excellent teacher.
145
00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:19,995
But your approach to the students
is rather traditional.
146
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,914
This school was founded in 1797.
147
00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:24,500
I thought tradition
was our stock in trade.
148
00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:26,627
- Then let's call it hidebound.
- Ah.
149
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,754
- You know, unwavering. Resistant to...
- [chuckles]
150
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:31,131
Yes, yes, yes,
I know what hidebound means.
151
00:10:31,215 --> 00:10:33,425
Uh, I get it.
152
00:10:33,509 --> 00:10:36,053
You're still angry
that I failed Jordan Osgood.
153
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:38,680
Senator Osgood was very upset
154
00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:41,517
when Princeton rescinded
Jordan's acceptance, yes.
155
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,685
And I've continued
to have to deal with the fallout.
156
00:10:43,769 --> 00:10:47,523
Hardy, are we really supposed to
let these boys just skate by
157
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:49,691
as long as daddy builds
a new gymnasium?
158
00:10:49,775 --> 00:10:51,944
Of course not. That's not who we are.
159
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:54,112
But we can't be ignorant to politics.
160
00:10:54,196 --> 00:10:57,366
That boy is too dumb
to pour piss out of a boot.
161
00:10:57,449 --> 00:10:59,117
A genuine troglodyte.
162
00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:04,623
Jesus Christ! Paul, he was a legacy
and the son of one of our biggest donors.
163
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:07,960
Ever think his dad might be expecting
a little consideration for his dollar?
164
00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:11,296
And he got it.
A first-class education for his son.
165
00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:13,090
Oh, come on, Hardy.
166
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,300
As Dr. Greene used to say,
167
00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:19,346
"Our one true purpose is to produce
young men of good character."
168
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,973
I don't care what Dr. Greene used to say.
169
00:11:21,056 --> 00:11:25,227
And we cannot sacrifice our integrity
on the altar of their entitlement.
170
00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:29,273
I'm just trying to instill
basic academic discipline.
171
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,775
That's my job. Isn't it yours?
172
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:35,571
It was, until I became headmaster
173
00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:38,699
and saw that it's not so simple
to keep the damn school afloat.
174
00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:42,870
I begged you,
begged you to give the kid a C-minus.
175
00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:47,541
No. There are instructors here
who will do that. I am not one of them.
176
00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:55,674
Here's the manual
and a full set of keys.
177
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:58,010
Everything you need to know
is in there.
178
00:11:58,093 --> 00:12:02,681
Your only task is to ensure the boys'
absolute safety and good condition.
179
00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:06,310
And at least pretend to be a human being.
180
00:12:07,144 --> 00:12:10,105
Please. It's Christmas.
181
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:19,615
Fuck this half-day bullshit.
Where the hell is Walleye?
182
00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:22,034
He's probably jerking off
in the Cobb salad.
183
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,245
- Why would he do that?
- [Kountze] 'Cause he's Walleye.
184
00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:27,456
Who knows what that
foul-smelling freak does?
185
00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:29,625
But you went straight
to the Cobb salad.
186
00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:33,962
I mean, do you know something?
'Cause I eat that Cobb salad.
187
00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:38,133
Salve, gentlemen. Your final exams.
188
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:40,969
[Hunham clears throat]
189
00:12:41,637 --> 00:12:45,974
[whistling Wagner's
"Ride of the Valkyries"]
190
00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:06,995
[whistling stops]
191
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,502
[groans]
192
00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:18,090
I can tell by your faces that many of you
are shocked at the outcome.
193
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:20,092
I, on the other hand, am not,
194
00:13:20,175 --> 00:13:23,637
because I have had the misfortune
of teaching you this semester.
195
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,848
And even with my ocular limitations,
196
00:13:26,932 --> 00:13:32,187
I witnessed firsthand
your glazed, uncomprehending expressions.
197
00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:34,356
Sir, I don't understand.
198
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:36,274
That's glaringly apparent.
199
00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:39,486
No, it's... I can't fail this class.
200
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:41,863
Oh, don't sell yourself short,
Mr. Kountze.
201
00:13:41,947 --> 00:13:43,615
I truly believe that you can.
202
00:13:43,699 --> 00:13:45,659
I'm supposed to go to Cornell.
203
00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:47,703
Unlikely.
204
00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:49,705
Please, sir. My dad's gonna flip out.
205
00:13:49,788 --> 00:13:50,998
[chattering]
206
00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:52,457
- Mine too.
- Come on.
207
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,629
All right. All right.
208
00:13:57,713 --> 00:13:59,631
Uh, in the spirit of the season,
209
00:13:59,715 --> 00:14:03,343
I suppose the most constructive way
of dealing with your shortcomings
210
00:14:03,427 --> 00:14:06,972
is to offer a makeup exam.
211
00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:09,599
You'll all get a second run at this
after break.
212
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:11,309
- [scoffs]
- [students murmuring]
213
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:16,148
Of course, it will not be the same exam.
214
00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:19,401
You will now be responsible
for new material as well.
215
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,653
- [students sighing]
- Your grade will be an average of the two.
216
00:14:21,737 --> 00:14:24,740
Please open your books to chapter six.
217
00:14:24,823 --> 00:14:27,367
The Peloponnesian War,
gentlemen.
218
00:14:27,451 --> 00:14:28,910
You've already met Pericles.
219
00:14:28,994 --> 00:14:31,580
Now prepare yourselves
to meet Demosthenes.
220
00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:33,665
No offense, sir.
221
00:14:33,749 --> 00:14:36,543
But is this really the best time
to be starting a new chapter?
222
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:42,257
I mean, we all appreciate the, uh,
makeup exam gesture,
223
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:44,342
but our families are here.
224
00:14:44,426 --> 00:14:46,261
You know, most teachers
have already canceled class.
225
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:48,680
We have chapel in 40 minutes,
then we're out of here.
226
00:14:48,764 --> 00:14:51,433
- Mmm.
- [Tully] I mean, our heads are elsewhere.
227
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:54,895
And where exactly is your head, Mr. Tully?
228
00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:58,023
I don't know. Saint Kitts. [chuckles]
229
00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:02,444
[chuckles] Yes, indeed.
I see you've brought your valise.
230
00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:07,908
Spot on, sir. It's just that it's been
a really exhausting semester.
231
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:10,660
Getting into new material now
right before break?
232
00:15:11,787 --> 00:15:15,540
Honestly, it's a little absurd, sir.
233
00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:22,089
Well, I would hate to be absurd.
234
00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:25,634
So let's just scuttle the whole thing,
shall we?
235
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:27,677
Let the original grade stand.
236
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,222
[students groaning, murmuring]
237
00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:34,643
Uh, excuse me, sir. I think, uh,
we all liked the first option better.
238
00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,645
What'd you say the guy's name was?
Uh, Demos...
239
00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:39,147
Of course, I still expect you
to be familiar with chapter six
240
00:15:39,231 --> 00:15:42,651
upon your return,
so pack those textbooks, boys.
241
00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:47,405
And if displeased, take it up
with your champion Mr. Tully.
242
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,367
Dismissed.
243
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:54,621
[resumes whistling Wagner's
"Ride of the Valkyries"]
244
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,581
[students murmuring]
245
00:15:56,665 --> 00:15:58,667
I got us out early, didn't I?
246
00:15:59,918 --> 00:16:02,921
[church organ playing]
247
00:16:05,549 --> 00:16:10,679
[choir and congregation]
♪ Born Thy people to deliver ♪
248
00:16:10,762 --> 00:16:15,600
♪ Born a child and yet a King ♪
249
00:16:15,684 --> 00:16:20,564
♪ Born to reign in us forever ♪
250
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:27,112
♪ Now Thy gracious kingdom bring... ♪
251
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:29,906
Please be seated.
252
00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:36,413
Welcome Barton students,
faculty and parents.
253
00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:39,291
I know you're all anxious
to start the holidays.
254
00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:42,252
I can see the boys
shifting in their seats.
255
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:43,336
[laughter]
256
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:45,839
But before we release you
to your bountiful tables
257
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,507
and the blessings of family,
258
00:16:47,591 --> 00:16:50,010
let us pray for those
less fortunate than we.
259
00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:55,056
Let us remember the poor and the helpless.
260
00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:58,059
The cold, the hungry and the oppressed.
261
00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:01,897
Extra reading over vacation
and no makeup test?
262
00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:05,066
Are you fucking kidding me?
Nice work, anus.
263
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,319
Can you not talk, please?
I'm trying to pray.
264
00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:11,823
You better pray I don't catch you alone
because I will full-on nut punch you.
265
00:17:11,907 --> 00:17:14,576
Tone it down. Jesus can hear you.
266
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:18,246
[priest] ...that all those who know not
the loving kindness of God.
267
00:17:18,330 --> 00:17:20,624
Sorry to hear about
your mother, Endicott.
268
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:21,708
What?
269
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:25,170
Oh. Yes. Thank you.
270
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:27,964
Yeah. We're all pulling for her.
271
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:33,011
And finally, let us pray
for the soul of Curtis Lamb.
272
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:35,680
Barton class of 1969.
273
00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:36,765
Just this year,
274
00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:40,810
Curtis gave his life valiantly
in the service of his country.
275
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:44,356
And let us once again
extend our deepest condolences
276
00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:48,735
to one of the most cherished members
of the Barton family, his mother Mary.
277
00:17:49,778 --> 00:17:55,158
Mary, we remember Curtis as such
an outstanding and promising young man
278
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:59,496
and we know this holiday season will be
especially difficult without him.
279
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:04,709
Please know that we accompany you
in your grief.
280
00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:07,212
May the all-powerful God
281
00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:09,756
who protected Abraham
when he left his native land
282
00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:12,300
protect all our brave soldiers
283
00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:15,345
until they are delivered
safely home to us.
284
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:19,015
We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.
285
00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:20,809
[congregation] Amen.
286
00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:24,145
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas.
287
00:18:24,229 --> 00:18:27,983
Well, or as the case may be,
a very Happy Hanukkah.
288
00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:29,442
[laughter]
289
00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:33,363
[organ playing "Joy to the World"]
290
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:37,617
[organ continues playing]
291
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:45,583
[Woodrup] Congressman,
Merry Christmas to you.
292
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,002
[chattering]
293
00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:49,045
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
294
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:51,840
Merry Christmas, everyone.
Merry Christmas.
295
00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:54,217
- Hey. Good to see you.
- Nice to see you.
296
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:55,385
Merry Christmas.
297
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:56,970
...wonderful new year too.
298
00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:59,014
Thank you. Merry Christmas.
299
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:01,975
- Merry Christmas.
- [organ stops playing]
300
00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:05,353
Angus Tully.
You have a phone call.
301
00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:12,819
[Tully] You're telling me this now?
302
00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,154
[mom on phone] Sweetheart, listen.
303
00:19:14,237 --> 00:19:18,742
I know it's last minute,
and I am absolutely heartbroken.
304
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:21,453
But could you please see your way
to staying at school over break
305
00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:23,079
just this once?
306
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:27,417
Stanley has been working so hard
and we've had no time for a honeymoon.
307
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:30,879
You guys have been married since July.
You've had all these months.
308
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,756
Something's always come up.
309
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:37,302
I know it's a lot to ask.
But you know how lonely I've been.
310
00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:40,555
I've been lonely, too.
And what about Boston?
311
00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:44,017
You promised on the way
we'd spend some time in Boston.
312
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:48,355
Angus, listen to me.
This is our new family. Okay?
313
00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:50,774
I know you miss your father. I do too.
314
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:53,276
But there's someone new in my life.
315
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,612
It's just this once, darling.
316
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:58,239
We'll be together at Spring Break.
And we'll have the whole summer.
317
00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:00,241
Fuck the summer and fuck Stanley!
318
00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:02,118
Angus!
319
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:06,039
Are you kidding me?
I'm just supposed to stay here?
320
00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:11,461
- [mom sighs]
- Mom, please don't do this. Please.
321
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:16,716
[Hunham] I suspect that like me, this is
not how you wanted to spend your holidays.
322
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,552
But such are the vicissitudes of life.
323
00:20:19,636 --> 00:20:23,390
And as Barton men,
we learn to confront our challenges
324
00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:27,894
with heads held high and with a spirit
of courage and good fellowship.
325
00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:32,607
Uh, in strict accordance with the dictates
of the manual, of course.
326
00:20:34,526 --> 00:20:38,363
Mr. Tully, are you joining us as well?
327
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:39,697
What happened to Saint Kitts?
328
00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:42,325
Something came up.
329
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,540
[suitcase thuds]
330
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:52,544
[Hunham clears throat]
331
00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:54,546
So, for the next two weeks,
332
00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:57,132
we will be following
a standard school schedule...
333
00:20:57,799 --> 00:20:59,801
Sir? Uh, sir, we're on vacation.
334
00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:01,803
...which means we will be
taking our meals together,
335
00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:04,055
and you will observe
regular hours of study.
336
00:21:04,139 --> 00:21:06,724
Study? Are you kidding me?
337
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:08,977
The Peloponnesian War awaits, Mr. Kountze.
338
00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:10,603
You and Mr. Tully.
339
00:21:10,687 --> 00:21:12,439
The rest of you can get a jump
on the next semester.
340
00:21:12,522 --> 00:21:14,649
It'll pay off. You'll see.
341
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:15,942
We're already holding over,
342
00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:17,360
and now we're being punished for it?
343
00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:20,405
You will be afforded
limited windows for recreation
344
00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:22,240
and supervised physical activity.
345
00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:23,950
The gym's not even open yet.
346
00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,994
Yeah, they only lacquered
half the floor.
347
00:21:26,077 --> 00:21:27,579
[Hunham]
Fresh air will do you good.
348
00:21:27,662 --> 00:21:29,998
It's, like, 15 degrees outside.
349
00:21:30,081 --> 00:21:33,334
And the Romans bathed naked
in the freezing Tiber.
350
00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:36,087
Adversity builds character, Mr. Tully.
351
00:21:36,171 --> 00:21:38,548
Uh, speaking of which,
the school will be cutting heat
352
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:40,383
to dormitories and faculty housing,
353
00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:42,594
so we'll all be bunking in the infirmary.
354
00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:44,888
[Tully whispers] Oh, God. Geez.
355
00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:49,309
- ["Silent Night" playing]
- [Tully] This is the most bullshit ever.
356
00:21:49,392 --> 00:21:51,436
If we have to stay,
why did we have to draw Walleye?
357
00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:53,396
[student 1] Uh, you know
he used to be a student, right?
358
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,274
Yeah, that's why he knows
how to inflict maximum pain on us,
359
00:21:56,357 --> 00:21:57,525
the sadistic fuck.
360
00:21:57,609 --> 00:21:58,902
At least we didn't draw Decker.
361
00:21:58,985 --> 00:22:01,196
He'd be perving all over us.
362
00:22:01,905 --> 00:22:03,531
[Tully] Hey, guys, hold up for a second.
363
00:22:06,284 --> 00:22:07,285
Want one?
364
00:22:07,911 --> 00:22:09,329
[Kountze]
No. I got something else.
365
00:22:09,913 --> 00:22:11,498
[lighter clicking]
366
00:22:11,581 --> 00:22:12,582
Give me that.
367
00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:17,086
Hey, don't smoke that out here.
I don't want to get busted by Walleye.
368
00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:19,130
- [Kountze] Don't be such a pussy.
- [Tully] I'm not a pussy.
369
00:22:19,214 --> 00:22:22,425
I just don't want to end up at Fork Union
paying for your mistake.
370
00:22:24,594 --> 00:22:25,595
Teddy Kountze.
371
00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:26,846
Jason Smith.
372
00:22:26,930 --> 00:22:28,348
Yeah, I know who you are.
373
00:22:28,973 --> 00:22:29,974
Want to hit this?
374
00:22:30,892 --> 00:22:32,310
Uh, yeah.
375
00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:36,856
You got a great arm, man.
376
00:22:37,649 --> 00:22:38,900
Yeah, well, it's just football.
377
00:22:38,983 --> 00:22:40,652
So, how'd you get stuck
holding over?
378
00:22:40,735 --> 00:22:42,695
I'm supposed to be skiing
with my folks up at Haystack,
379
00:22:42,779 --> 00:22:44,280
but my dad put his foot down,
380
00:22:44,364 --> 00:22:46,032
said I can't come home
unless I cut my hair.
381
00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:48,117
[scoffs] So why don't you
just cut your hair?
382
00:22:48,201 --> 00:22:49,702
Civil disobedience, man.
383
00:22:49,786 --> 00:22:51,287
[Tully] Yeah, right.
384
00:22:51,371 --> 00:22:53,623
[Jason] No, he's cool.
It's just a battle of wills.
385
00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:55,166
Still, I was kind of hoping
he'd cave first
386
00:22:55,250 --> 00:22:58,294
because the powder up at Haystack
is so sweet right now.
387
00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:01,923
What about you, Mr. Moto?
388
00:23:02,006 --> 00:23:03,091
Why are you here?
389
00:23:03,174 --> 00:23:05,218
Uh, no.
My name is Ye-Joon.
390
00:23:05,301 --> 00:23:09,806
My family is in Korea and they think
it's too far for me to travel alone.
391
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:12,183
I figured it was
because your rickshaw was broken.
392
00:23:12,267 --> 00:23:13,893
[laughs]
393
00:23:13,977 --> 00:23:15,603
Uh, w-what's a rickshaw?
394
00:23:15,687 --> 00:23:17,105
- You're an asshole, Kountze.
- [sighs]
395
00:23:17,188 --> 00:23:19,440
Your mind is a cesspool
and a shallow one at that.
396
00:23:19,524 --> 00:23:22,735
Who's the asshole, Tully?
You're the one who blew up history.
397
00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:25,572
Hey, what's your story, man?
398
00:23:25,655 --> 00:23:29,909
Alex Ollerman. I'm here because
my parents are on mission in Paraguay.
399
00:23:30,535 --> 00:23:32,954
- We're LDS.
- [Jason] Mormons, right?
400
00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:36,583
Don't you guys wear some kind of
like... [chuckles] ...magic underwear?
401
00:23:36,666 --> 00:23:38,042
[Alex] That's a common misconception.
402
00:23:38,668 --> 00:23:41,170
Actually, it's called a temple garment,
and we're only supposed to wear it...
403
00:23:41,254 --> 00:23:42,755
Hey, what's up with the townies?
404
00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:45,717
Hey, what are you doing
with our Christmas tree?
405
00:23:46,426 --> 00:23:50,221
The school sold it back to us.
Scotch pine, it's still fresh.
406
00:23:50,305 --> 00:23:52,432
[tree seller]
Yeah, we're gonna put it back on the lot.
407
00:23:52,515 --> 00:23:55,268
- We do it every year.
- This is the most bullshit ever.
408
00:24:01,316 --> 00:24:04,110
- Hello, Mary. [sighs]
- Mr. Hunham.
409
00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:07,196
I heard you got stuck
with babysitting duty this year.
410
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:08,948
How'd you manage that?
411
00:24:09,032 --> 00:24:12,869
Oh, I don't know. I suppose I failed
someone who richly deserved it.
412
00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:17,707
Oh. The Osgood kid?
Yeah, he was a real asshole.
413
00:24:17,790 --> 00:24:20,418
Rich and dumb.
Popular combination around here.
414
00:24:20,501 --> 00:24:22,420
It's a plague.
415
00:24:22,503 --> 00:24:25,214
Uh, and you? You'll be here too?
416
00:24:25,298 --> 00:24:27,342
All by my lonesome.
417
00:24:27,425 --> 00:24:31,471
My little sister Peggy and her husband
invited me to go visit them at Roxbury,
418
00:24:31,554 --> 00:24:33,890
but I feel like it's too soon.
419
00:24:33,973 --> 00:24:36,392
Like Curtis will think
that I'm abandoning him.
420
00:24:36,476 --> 00:24:41,272
You know, this is the last place
that my baby and I were together.
421
00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:44,359
- Not including the bus station.
- Yeah.
422
00:24:46,444 --> 00:24:49,155
Well, I look forward to your fine cooking.
423
00:24:49,238 --> 00:24:50,740
Oh, no, no. Don't do that.
424
00:24:50,823 --> 00:24:53,201
All we've got
is whatever is in that walk-in.
425
00:24:53,284 --> 00:24:55,119
No new deliveries till January.
426
00:24:55,203 --> 00:24:56,412
Hmm.
427
00:24:58,623 --> 00:25:00,333
You mind if I, um...
428
00:25:02,543 --> 00:25:04,087
- You want some of that?
- Mmm.
429
00:25:04,170 --> 00:25:06,881
- All right.
- [chuckles] Thank you.
430
00:25:06,964 --> 00:25:08,174
[clears throat]
431
00:25:08,257 --> 00:25:10,551
- You know this is a necessity?
- Oh, yes.
432
00:25:10,635 --> 00:25:12,637
[jingle playing over radio]
433
00:25:13,471 --> 00:25:15,890
♪ WABC ♪
434
00:25:15,973 --> 00:25:18,643
♪ Top 100 of the year ♪
435
00:25:18,726 --> 00:25:19,936
[DJ on radio] Now 17.
436
00:25:20,812 --> 00:25:24,107
Yeah, by Shocking Blue,
it's called "Venus."
437
00:25:24,190 --> 00:25:27,193
["Venus" playing]
438
00:25:33,866 --> 00:25:35,868
- Where's my photo?
- [Teddy] What photo?
439
00:25:35,952 --> 00:25:37,912
I think you know what photo,
and you stole it.
440
00:25:37,995 --> 00:25:40,081
[Teddy] I resent
that baseless accusation.
441
00:25:40,164 --> 00:25:41,708
Give me my goddamn picture.
442
00:25:41,791 --> 00:25:43,835
Hey, what's your problem, Tully?
443
00:25:43,918 --> 00:25:45,128
You homesick?
444
00:25:45,712 --> 00:25:47,463
Huh? Gonna cry?
445
00:25:47,547 --> 00:25:48,965
Little boy misses his mommy?
446
00:25:49,048 --> 00:25:50,174
Fuck you, Kountze.
447
00:25:50,258 --> 00:25:52,218
Why are you even here, anyway?
Where's your family?
448
00:25:52,301 --> 00:25:54,846
We're renovating our house,
all right? It's all torn up.
449
00:25:54,929 --> 00:25:56,931
They're storing the tools
and stuff in my room.
450
00:25:57,014 --> 00:25:58,057
That's what they told you?
451
00:25:58,141 --> 00:25:59,684
It's winter, idiot.
452
00:25:59,767 --> 00:26:02,228
Nobody renovates their house
in the winter.
453
00:26:02,311 --> 00:26:03,688
Your parents don't want you around
454
00:26:03,771 --> 00:26:06,065
because you're
a fucking insecure sociopath.
455
00:26:06,149 --> 00:26:08,234
- [Jason] Hey, take it easy, guys.
- A what?
456
00:26:08,317 --> 00:26:09,652
I mean, who'd want you
for a son?
457
00:26:09,736 --> 00:26:11,404
That's why you grind everybody,
458
00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:13,614
because deep down
you know you're an asshole.
459
00:26:13,698 --> 00:26:16,701
[scoffs] Plus, academically,
you're a disaster.
460
00:26:16,784 --> 00:26:20,496
I mean, if I were your parents,
I'd never want you home again.
461
00:26:20,580 --> 00:26:22,749
The only tool in your room
is you.
462
00:26:22,832 --> 00:26:24,584
[shouts]
463
00:26:24,667 --> 00:26:25,752
[Teddy grunts]
464
00:26:25,835 --> 00:26:28,087
[grunting, muttering]
465
00:26:28,171 --> 00:26:29,380
[Tully] Fucker. Bitch.
466
00:26:29,464 --> 00:26:30,923
Fucker. Bitch.
467
00:26:33,134 --> 00:26:34,135
[Teddy, Tully grunting]
468
00:26:34,218 --> 00:26:35,678
- Come on! Come on!
- [Jason] Hey, hey, hey!
469
00:26:35,762 --> 00:26:37,096
All right, all right.
470
00:26:37,180 --> 00:26:39,390
Break it up. Break it up.
Break it up.
471
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:45,855
They weren't fighting.
472
00:26:45,938 --> 00:26:47,482
I see.
473
00:26:47,565 --> 00:26:50,109
And who started it... the not fighting?
474
00:26:50,193 --> 00:26:51,486
Hmm? Mr. Tully?
475
00:26:51,569 --> 00:26:54,530
Perhaps you could shed
some light on the subject.
476
00:26:55,656 --> 00:26:56,949
Mr. Kountze?
477
00:26:57,033 --> 00:26:58,326
Mr. Smith?
478
00:26:59,535 --> 00:27:00,912
Mr. Ollerman?
479
00:27:00,995 --> 00:27:02,205
Mr. Park?
480
00:27:03,331 --> 00:27:06,083
All right, then, uh,
we'll do it like the Roman legions.
481
00:27:07,210 --> 00:27:11,339
Absent a confession, one man's sin
is every man's suffering.
482
00:27:11,422 --> 00:27:14,383
For every minute the truth is withheld,
483
00:27:14,467 --> 00:27:17,011
you will all receive a detention.
484
00:27:17,804 --> 00:27:19,806
And I thought all the Nazis
were hiding in Argentina.
485
00:27:19,889 --> 00:27:21,265
Stifle it, Tully.
486
00:27:24,185 --> 00:27:27,021
Now, uh, in the first
of said detentions,
487
00:27:27,104 --> 00:27:31,734
you will clean the library,
top to bottom.
488
00:27:32,485 --> 00:27:34,278
Scraping the underside
of the desks,
489
00:27:34,362 --> 00:27:37,406
which are caked
with snot and gum
490
00:27:37,490 --> 00:27:41,494
and all manner of ancient,
unspeakable proteins.
491
00:27:41,577 --> 00:27:45,248
Ah, on your hands and knees,
down in the dust,
492
00:27:45,331 --> 00:27:49,252
breathing in the dead skin
of generations of students
493
00:27:49,335 --> 00:27:52,463
and desiccated
cockroach assholes.
494
00:27:52,547 --> 00:27:53,840
It was Kountze!
495
00:27:53,923 --> 00:27:55,883
[Alex panting]
496
00:27:56,592 --> 00:27:57,844
Kountze started it.
497
00:27:58,970 --> 00:28:00,721
Bravo, Mr. Ollerman.
498
00:28:00,805 --> 00:28:02,098
Bravo.
499
00:28:04,016 --> 00:28:06,018
[chattering]
500
00:28:09,522 --> 00:28:10,523
[Jason] And?
501
00:28:10,606 --> 00:28:13,150
[indistinct]
502
00:28:13,234 --> 00:28:14,902
- [light laughter]
- [door opens]
503
00:28:21,450 --> 00:28:22,827
Lovely.
504
00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:25,162
Thank you, Mary.
505
00:28:33,254 --> 00:28:34,589
Didn't we already
have this for lunch?
506
00:28:34,672 --> 00:28:36,507
And it was crappy then.
507
00:28:36,591 --> 00:28:37,758
[Hunham] Consider yourselves lucky.
508
00:28:37,842 --> 00:28:42,054
During the Third Punic campaign,
149 to 146 BC,
509
00:28:42,138 --> 00:28:43,806
the Romans laid siege to Carthage
510
00:28:43,890 --> 00:28:45,933
for three entire years.
511
00:28:46,017 --> 00:28:47,768
- [door opens]
- By the time it ended,
512
00:28:47,852 --> 00:28:49,854
the Carthaginians
were reduced to eating sand
513
00:28:49,937 --> 00:28:51,898
and drinking their own urine.
514
00:28:51,981 --> 00:28:53,733
Hence the term "punitive."
515
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:57,987
Uh... [sniffs] Mary?
516
00:28:58,696 --> 00:29:00,156
Maybe you would, uh...
517
00:29:00,239 --> 00:29:02,158
Maybe you would care to join us?
518
00:29:09,290 --> 00:29:10,958
No, I'm all right. Thank you.
519
00:29:15,963 --> 00:29:18,758
[door opens, closes]
520
00:29:18,841 --> 00:29:21,969
I mean, I know she's sad
about her son and everything,
521
00:29:22,053 --> 00:29:24,513
but still, she's getting paid to do a job,
522
00:29:24,597 --> 00:29:27,016
and she should do it well, right?
523
00:29:29,310 --> 00:29:31,687
But I guess no matter
how bad a cook she is,
524
00:29:31,771 --> 00:29:32,939
now they can never fire her.
525
00:29:33,022 --> 00:29:35,691
Will you shut up?
526
00:29:38,402 --> 00:29:41,280
You have no idea what
that woman has been thr...
527
00:29:41,364 --> 00:29:42,365
[sighs]
528
00:29:47,495 --> 00:29:49,413
You know, Mr. Kountze, for most people,
529
00:29:49,497 --> 00:29:53,250
life is like a henhouse ladder:
shitty and short.
530
00:29:53,334 --> 00:29:55,628
You were born lucky.
531
00:29:56,837 --> 00:30:00,466
Maybe someday, you entitled
little degenerates will appreciate that.
532
00:30:00,549 --> 00:30:02,468
If you don't, I feel sorry for you,
533
00:30:03,386 --> 00:30:05,554
and we will have failed to do our jobs.
534
00:30:05,638 --> 00:30:06,931
Now, eat.
535
00:30:17,692 --> 00:30:21,737
♪ God rest ye merry, gentlemen ♪
536
00:30:21,821 --> 00:30:25,908
♪ Let nothing you dismay ♪
537
00:30:25,992 --> 00:30:30,079
♪ Remember Christ our Savior ♪
538
00:30:30,162 --> 00:30:34,542
♪ Was born on Christmas Day ♪
539
00:30:34,625 --> 00:30:38,671
♪ To save us all from Satan's power ♪
540
00:30:38,754 --> 00:30:42,425
♪ When we were gone astray ♪
541
00:30:42,508 --> 00:30:48,514
♪ O tidings of comfort and joy ♪
542
00:30:48,597 --> 00:30:50,933
♪ And joy ♪
543
00:30:51,017 --> 00:30:53,519
♪ O tidings of... ♪
544
00:30:53,602 --> 00:30:56,605
- [presenter, on TV] That's right.
- [cheering, applauding on TV]
545
00:30:57,898 --> 00:30:59,692
[presenter]
Next question for five points, girls.
546
00:30:59,775 --> 00:31:02,695
What are the dimensions
of the car you drive most?
547
00:31:02,778 --> 00:31:04,739
And that means width by length.
548
00:31:04,822 --> 00:31:06,741
The dimensions of the car
you drive most. Jerry?
549
00:31:06,824 --> 00:31:08,034
[Jerry] It's pretty long.
550
00:31:08,909 --> 00:31:11,662
Oh, let's see.
Maybe, uh, eight by 80?
551
00:31:11,746 --> 00:31:13,748
[laughter on TV]
552
00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:19,712
- [presenter] What's the name of your car...
- [Hunham clears throat]
553
00:31:19,795 --> 00:31:22,089
- Oh, good evening.
- Good evening.
554
00:31:22,173 --> 00:31:23,424
What's this?
555
00:31:24,133 --> 00:31:25,760
You don't know The Newlywed Game?
556
00:31:25,843 --> 00:31:28,304
- No.
- What planet have you been living on?
557
00:31:28,387 --> 00:31:30,389
I don't really watch television.
558
00:31:30,473 --> 00:31:32,224
It's a show where
they ask couples questions
559
00:31:32,308 --> 00:31:34,226
to see how well
they know each other.
560
00:31:34,310 --> 00:31:36,020
That sounds like
courting disaster.
561
00:31:36,103 --> 00:31:37,813
Yeah, that's
the whole damn point.
562
00:31:39,106 --> 00:31:40,107
Sit down.
563
00:31:40,775 --> 00:31:42,193
Come on.
564
00:31:42,276 --> 00:31:43,694
Broaden your horizons.
565
00:31:46,989 --> 00:31:50,242
[sighs] This is a rerun from July.
566
00:31:50,326 --> 00:31:52,536
Which is why they're playing
for Weber barbecues
567
00:31:52,620 --> 00:31:54,163
and picnic utensils.
568
00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:56,373
- [Hunham] Fascinating.
- [Mary] Mm-hmm.
569
00:31:56,457 --> 00:31:57,833
[presenter]
If we ever take separate vacations,
570
00:31:57,917 --> 00:31:59,293
I am sending my wife to blank...
571
00:31:59,376 --> 00:32:02,004
- Oh. Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
572
00:32:02,088 --> 00:32:04,090
[chatter continues on TV]
573
00:32:06,509 --> 00:32:09,720
So, how are the boys?
574
00:32:09,804 --> 00:32:12,348
Broken in body and spirit.
575
00:32:13,766 --> 00:32:17,269
Okay, well, it is the holidays,
so, you know, go easy on them.
576
00:32:17,353 --> 00:32:18,771
Oh, please.
577
00:32:18,854 --> 00:32:20,606
They've had it easy
their whole lives.
578
00:32:21,732 --> 00:32:24,401
You don't know that. Did you?
579
00:32:25,653 --> 00:32:28,572
Besides, everybody should be
with their people on Christmas.
580
00:32:28,656 --> 00:32:30,282
- [wife] Hawaii, probably.
- [presenter] Hawaii. All right.
581
00:32:30,366 --> 00:32:33,035
He says he's gonna send you to Santa Ana,
and he's going to Las Vegas.
582
00:32:33,119 --> 00:32:35,496
[husband] Nobody can watch you in Siberia.
583
00:32:35,579 --> 00:32:36,747
Where are you going?
584
00:32:36,831 --> 00:32:38,916
- To Vegas.
- Las Vegas?
585
00:32:38,999 --> 00:32:40,835
- Yeah.
- [sighs]
586
00:32:41,919 --> 00:32:43,587
- No.
- [audience laughs]
587
00:32:43,671 --> 00:32:45,422
Those two are going to get
a divorce.
588
00:32:46,257 --> 00:32:47,550
How do you know?
589
00:32:47,633 --> 00:32:49,927
I recognize that look
of stale disappointment.
590
00:32:50,010 --> 00:32:51,679
- [chuckling]
- She hates him.
591
00:32:51,762 --> 00:32:52,763
Oh.
592
00:32:53,848 --> 00:32:55,349
How long were you married?
593
00:32:56,058 --> 00:32:57,768
I was engaged
to Curtis's father.
594
00:32:57,852 --> 00:33:00,896
- Mmm.
- But he died before I gave birth.
595
00:33:00,980 --> 00:33:02,731
Harold.
596
00:33:02,815 --> 00:33:05,276
He worked in the shipyard.
597
00:33:05,359 --> 00:33:07,778
And one day, they was
carrying this big, uh,
598
00:33:07,862 --> 00:33:11,157
cargo pallet, and the cable snapped.
599
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:12,992
Hit him right across the head.
600
00:33:15,578 --> 00:33:17,246
They were good men.
601
00:33:17,329 --> 00:33:18,706
Both of them.
602
00:33:18,789 --> 00:33:21,458
And neither of them made it to 25.
603
00:33:22,126 --> 00:33:23,919
My baby wasn't even 20.
604
00:33:26,005 --> 00:33:27,464
I'm so sorry.
605
00:33:28,299 --> 00:33:32,970
I took this job when Curtis was small
because I wanted to ensure
606
00:33:33,053 --> 00:33:35,014
that he was going to have
a good education.
607
00:33:35,097 --> 00:33:38,184
- You know he flourished here.
- Yes. No, he was a great kid.
608
00:33:38,267 --> 00:33:40,895
- I had him one semester. Very insightful.
- Mm-hmm.
609
00:33:40,978 --> 00:33:42,688
Mm-hmm. He hated you.
610
00:33:44,190 --> 00:33:46,317
He said you were a real asshole.
611
00:33:47,443 --> 00:33:50,404
Well, uh, like I said... [chuckles]
612
00:33:50,487 --> 00:33:52,448
Sharp kid. Insightful.
613
00:33:55,826 --> 00:33:58,746
He had his heart set on Swarthmore.
614
00:33:58,829 --> 00:34:01,582
And he had the grades,
but I didn't have the money.
615
00:34:01,665 --> 00:34:04,668
Even with financial aid,
it wasn't enough.
616
00:34:04,752 --> 00:34:10,716
So, when he got called up
and no student deferment, off he went.
617
00:34:11,842 --> 00:34:13,761
Do you know what he said to me?
618
00:34:13,844 --> 00:34:17,723
He said,
"Hey, Ma, look at the upside.
619
00:34:17,806 --> 00:34:22,478
When I get discharged,
I can go to college on the GI Bill."
620
00:34:24,605 --> 00:34:25,856
[voice breaks] College.
621
00:34:32,613 --> 00:34:34,073
And here we are.
622
00:34:37,493 --> 00:34:39,495
With my Curtis in the cold ground
623
00:34:39,578 --> 00:34:42,081
and those boys
safe and warm in their beds.
624
00:34:44,083 --> 00:34:45,542
It's like you said.
625
00:34:45,626 --> 00:34:47,086
How'd you say it?
626
00:34:47,169 --> 00:34:49,088
"Life is like a henhouse ladder."
627
00:34:49,171 --> 00:34:50,923
- [chuckles]
- That's right.
628
00:34:51,006 --> 00:34:53,217
I can hear everything
you're saying from the kitchen.
629
00:34:53,300 --> 00:34:55,135
Especially that Kountze kid,
630
00:34:55,219 --> 00:34:57,638
crown prince
of all the little assholes.
631
00:34:57,721 --> 00:34:59,348
- [chuckles]
- [husband on TV] It's zero.
632
00:34:59,431 --> 00:35:00,849
[presenter]
Zero. She said it is zero!
633
00:35:00,933 --> 00:35:02,601
That's couple number one,
Mike and Sherry McCray,
634
00:35:02,685 --> 00:35:04,728
you are our grand prize winners!
635
00:35:04,812 --> 00:35:07,273
[applauding, cheering on TV]
636
00:35:13,821 --> 00:35:16,407
All right, you fetid layabouts.
637
00:35:16,490 --> 00:35:18,117
It's daylight in the swamp!
638
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:19,618
[clanging]
639
00:35:19,702 --> 00:35:20,995
[Hunham] Arise!
640
00:35:21,078 --> 00:35:22,830
[students groaning]
641
00:35:22,913 --> 00:35:25,958
["Little Drummer Boy" playing]
642
00:35:26,041 --> 00:35:27,376
Speed, gentlemen.
643
00:35:27,459 --> 00:35:28,669
Speed!
644
00:35:29,545 --> 00:35:33,173
Without sufficient exercise,
the body devours itself.
645
00:35:33,674 --> 00:35:34,675
That's it!
646
00:35:35,426 --> 00:35:36,427
Good.
647
00:35:38,012 --> 00:35:39,471
[coughing]
648
00:35:39,555 --> 00:35:41,348
♪ Our finest gifts we bring
Pa-rum pum pum pum ♪
649
00:35:41,432 --> 00:35:43,142
[sniffs, coughs]
650
00:35:44,059 --> 00:35:47,396
♪ To lay before the King
Pa-rum pum pum pum ♪
651
00:35:47,479 --> 00:35:51,608
♪ Rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum ♪
652
00:35:51,692 --> 00:35:56,488
♪ So to honor him, pa-rum pum pum pum ♪
653
00:35:56,572 --> 00:35:59,116
♪ When we come ♪
654
00:36:02,661 --> 00:36:05,247
♪ Baby Jesus... ♪
655
00:36:05,331 --> 00:36:06,749
What about your car?
656
00:36:06,832 --> 00:36:09,126
We can take it, go somewhere.
Boston, maybe?
657
00:36:09,209 --> 00:36:10,919
Nah, we'd get in so much trouble.
658
00:36:11,003 --> 00:36:13,255
Face it. We're stuck.
659
00:36:13,339 --> 00:36:15,466
If we just had some way
to get out of here.
660
00:36:15,549 --> 00:36:17,217
- Yo.
- Just split.
661
00:36:18,385 --> 00:36:20,763
Well, you could put a chopper
down right in the quad.
662
00:36:20,846 --> 00:36:23,849
- What?
- A helicopter, dumb-ass.
663
00:36:23,932 --> 00:36:25,893
His old man's the CEO of Pratt & Whitney.
664
00:36:25,976 --> 00:36:27,311
Yeah, he's got his own bird.
665
00:36:27,394 --> 00:36:29,021
He takes it from Stamford
to the city every morning.
666
00:36:29,104 --> 00:36:30,397
Lands it right in the backyard.
667
00:36:30,481 --> 00:36:32,149
The pilot's name is Wild Bill.
668
00:36:32,232 --> 00:36:35,235
- Wild Bill?
- Yeah.
669
00:36:35,319 --> 00:36:37,363
Yeah, he flew up to
Haystack with it.
670
00:36:37,446 --> 00:36:39,198
Took the presents
and everything, minus me.
671
00:36:40,115 --> 00:36:42,659
Flying with presents,
like Santa Claus.
672
00:36:42,743 --> 00:36:44,078
Yeah.
673
00:36:44,161 --> 00:36:45,913
Just like Santa Claus.
[whistles]
674
00:36:46,705 --> 00:36:47,706
Hey.
675
00:36:48,290 --> 00:36:49,958
Oh, let's go, let's go!
676
00:36:50,042 --> 00:36:53,837
You know, if I were back home
right now in Provo,
677
00:36:53,921 --> 00:36:55,923
it'd be really warm inside.
678
00:36:56,924 --> 00:37:00,594
And my mom,
she'd be making me baked apples,
679
00:37:00,677 --> 00:37:04,223
and the whole house would smell
like cinnamon and brown sugar.
680
00:37:04,306 --> 00:37:06,058
That sounds so nice.
681
00:37:06,141 --> 00:37:08,894
- [exhales]
- [Jason] Touchdown!
682
00:37:09,561 --> 00:37:11,563
[Teddy grunting]
683
00:37:11,647 --> 00:37:12,648
Hey!
684
00:37:12,731 --> 00:37:14,108
[laughs] That's what you get
685
00:37:14,191 --> 00:37:15,984
for ratting me out,
you little Mormon!
686
00:37:16,068 --> 00:37:18,695
- [grunts, laughs]
- [Alex] What?
687
00:37:19,405 --> 00:37:21,865
- [Teddy] Let's go!
- What's Fork Union?
688
00:37:21,949 --> 00:37:25,452
Uh, before, you said you don't want
to end up at Fork Union.
689
00:37:26,370 --> 00:37:28,831
It's a military academy in Virginia.
690
00:37:29,790 --> 00:37:31,875
That's where I'm going if I get
kicked out of school again.
691
00:37:32,584 --> 00:37:34,586
How many schools
have you been kicked out of?
692
00:37:36,004 --> 00:37:37,005
Three.
693
00:37:37,089 --> 00:37:39,216
[scoffs] That's why I'm still a junior.
694
00:37:39,299 --> 00:37:41,385
- Give or take a semester.
- [Alex] It's gone!
695
00:37:42,553 --> 00:37:43,887
My glove's gone.
696
00:37:43,971 --> 00:37:47,057
Twisted fucker
orphaned that glove on purpose.
697
00:37:47,141 --> 00:37:50,436
Left you with one so the loss
would sting that much more.
698
00:38:15,002 --> 00:38:17,171
[breathes shakily]
699
00:38:48,368 --> 00:38:51,371
[crying]
700
00:39:00,714 --> 00:39:02,424
- Hey.
- [gasps]
701
00:39:02,508 --> 00:39:03,717
You all right?
702
00:39:04,885 --> 00:39:06,678
I had a nightmare.
703
00:39:06,762 --> 00:39:08,847
I get nightmares too.
704
00:39:08,931 --> 00:39:11,183
I'm always falling or drowning.
705
00:39:11,266 --> 00:39:12,267
Also...
706
00:39:13,393 --> 00:39:15,312
[sobs]
707
00:39:15,395 --> 00:39:17,105
I had an accident.
708
00:39:23,403 --> 00:39:25,197
Yeah, you did.
709
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,950
Shh. Stop crying.
710
00:39:28,033 --> 00:39:30,536
If they hear you,
they'll crucify you.
711
00:39:30,619 --> 00:39:33,330
Which would be ironic
since you're Buddhist.
712
00:39:33,413 --> 00:39:35,916
I know this is
an excellent school,
713
00:39:35,999 --> 00:39:38,752
and my brothers went here,
714
00:39:38,835 --> 00:39:40,879
but I miss my family
715
00:39:40,963 --> 00:39:43,090
and I have no friends.
716
00:39:43,173 --> 00:39:44,174
[sobbing]
717
00:39:44,258 --> 00:39:47,427
Yeah, well, friends are overrated.
718
00:39:48,887 --> 00:39:51,473
I'll help you hide the sheets
in the morning, all right?
719
00:39:51,557 --> 00:39:54,560
In the meantime, find a dry spot
and try to get some sleep.
720
00:39:54,643 --> 00:39:57,145
[sniffles] Thank you.
721
00:40:02,818 --> 00:40:04,027
Fucking asparagus.
722
00:40:27,676 --> 00:40:30,679
[clearing throat]
723
00:40:31,805 --> 00:40:33,473
[whispering] Are you kidding me?
724
00:40:33,557 --> 00:40:35,767
It's only 11:00,
and he's already lit.
725
00:40:36,685 --> 00:40:38,103
I can smell the whiskey on him.
726
00:40:38,186 --> 00:40:40,772
Can you blame him?
It's freezing in here.
727
00:40:40,856 --> 00:40:43,233
It's fucking Greenland in here.
728
00:40:43,317 --> 00:40:47,112
[helicopter approaching]
729
00:40:59,333 --> 00:41:00,626
What the hell is that?
730
00:41:00,709 --> 00:41:02,753
[helicopter whirring in distance]
731
00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:29,571
[Jason] I knew it!
He finally caved, the big softy.
732
00:41:30,906 --> 00:41:33,617
Hey, any of you guys like to ski?
733
00:41:38,705 --> 00:41:40,374
Thank you.
734
00:41:40,457 --> 00:41:42,334
Goodbye, now.
735
00:41:42,417 --> 00:41:45,003
[no audible dialogue]
736
00:41:48,965 --> 00:41:49,966
Yes!
737
00:41:57,349 --> 00:41:58,809
Well, good news, gentlemen.
738
00:41:58,892 --> 00:42:01,353
I was able to reach Dr. Woodrup
and your parents.
739
00:42:01,436 --> 00:42:03,855
Uh, most of them, anyway.
740
00:42:04,981 --> 00:42:07,776
Try calling again.
Just one more time, please.
741
00:42:07,859 --> 00:42:09,027
There's no point.
742
00:42:09,111 --> 00:42:10,737
The front desk says
they're not answering.
743
00:42:10,821 --> 00:42:12,698
He says they're away
on some excursion.
744
00:42:13,365 --> 00:42:14,991
- Excursion.
- [chuckles]
745
00:42:15,075 --> 00:42:18,036
I'm as disappointed as you are,
if not more so.
746
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:19,913
I could have been spending
the rest of my vacation
747
00:42:19,996 --> 00:42:21,206
reading mystery novels.
748
00:42:21,289 --> 00:42:24,501
Okay. Maybe they're back now.
Just call again, please.
749
00:42:25,752 --> 00:42:26,753
Okay.
750
00:42:32,926 --> 00:42:34,428
[sighs] Happy holidays.
751
00:42:35,220 --> 00:42:36,221
Same to you.
752
00:42:39,224 --> 00:42:40,434
Take care, Tully.
753
00:42:42,644 --> 00:42:44,396
I guess that just leaves you, huh?
754
00:42:45,188 --> 00:42:47,065
Be sure to do all your homework.
755
00:42:48,942 --> 00:42:50,318
Oh, almost forgot.
756
00:42:50,402 --> 00:42:52,487
I found that picture
you were looking for.
757
00:42:53,697 --> 00:42:55,699
Merry Christmas, Mr. Tully.
758
00:42:58,493 --> 00:43:00,328
[laughs]
759
00:43:03,457 --> 00:43:04,458
Bye, Angus.
760
00:43:11,298 --> 00:43:13,341
[chattering]
761
00:43:34,529 --> 00:43:35,947
[sighs]
762
00:43:37,866 --> 00:43:40,619
Well, let's make
the best of it, shall we?
763
00:43:42,913 --> 00:43:44,289
[sighs]
764
00:43:44,372 --> 00:43:47,292
[wife, on TV]
Oh, I suppose, um,
765
00:43:47,375 --> 00:43:48,752
- Stan Laurel...
- [presenter] Stan Laurel.
766
00:43:48,835 --> 00:43:51,421
All right. Your husband said
his favorite silent movie star
767
00:43:51,505 --> 00:43:53,715
is Rudolph Valentino.
768
00:43:53,799 --> 00:43:56,134
- Oh. He is good.
- [husband] Weil, yeah.
769
00:43:56,218 --> 00:43:57,385
[laughter on TV]
770
00:43:57,469 --> 00:43:58,637
[chuckles]
771
00:43:58,720 --> 00:44:00,680
[presenter] The last of our
five-point questions, girls...
772
00:44:00,764 --> 00:44:02,974
How about you?
You ever been married?
773
00:44:03,058 --> 00:44:06,311
[scoffs, chuckles]
774
00:44:06,394 --> 00:44:08,688
No. I did get close once.
775
00:44:08,772 --> 00:44:09,981
Right after college.
776
00:44:10,941 --> 00:44:11,942
[Mary] And?
777
00:44:12,567 --> 00:44:13,902
[Hunham] We came to our senses.
778
00:44:14,528 --> 00:44:19,115
This is not exactly a face
forged for romance, Mary.
779
00:44:19,199 --> 00:44:21,827
Yeah, and the...
780
00:44:21,910 --> 00:44:24,830
- And, you know...
- What?
781
00:44:26,248 --> 00:44:27,249
Nothing.
782
00:44:27,833 --> 00:44:30,752
I don't know. I like being alone.
783
00:44:30,836 --> 00:44:33,964
I've always found myself drawn
to the ascetic.
784
00:44:34,631 --> 00:44:35,632
Like a monk.
785
00:44:36,675 --> 00:44:40,387
The forgoing of sensual pleasures
for the achievement of spiritual goals.
786
00:44:40,470 --> 00:44:41,888
- Spiritual goals?
- Mm-hmm.
787
00:44:41,972 --> 00:44:43,473
- You?
- [chuckles]
788
00:44:43,557 --> 00:44:45,100
What spiritual goals
are we talking about?
789
00:44:45,183 --> 00:44:46,268
You go to church?
790
00:44:46,351 --> 00:44:48,270
- Mmm, only when required.
- Exactly.
791
00:44:48,353 --> 00:44:50,564
When's the last time
you even left campus?
792
00:44:50,647 --> 00:44:52,566
- I go into town all the time.
- Oh.
793
00:44:52,649 --> 00:44:54,568
For groceries
and various errands
794
00:44:54,651 --> 00:44:56,027
- and appointments.
- Mm-hmm.
795
00:44:56,111 --> 00:44:58,363
[sighs, stammers]
796
00:44:58,446 --> 00:45:01,199
Okay, yes, I don't leave campus often.
797
00:45:01,283 --> 00:45:03,201
I don't really feel the need.
798
00:45:03,285 --> 00:45:04,494
Let me ask you something.
799
00:45:04,578 --> 00:45:07,914
If you could go anywhere on Earth,
where would you go?
800
00:45:07,998 --> 00:45:09,416
[chuckles]
801
00:45:09,499 --> 00:45:11,751
Greece, Italy,
802
00:45:11,835 --> 00:45:14,796
Egypt, Peru, Carthage.
803
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:16,840
Tunisia now, of course.
804
00:45:16,923 --> 00:45:19,467
In college, I started
a monograph on Carthage.
805
00:45:19,551 --> 00:45:21,303
I'd like to finish that someday.
806
00:45:22,679 --> 00:45:25,932
[sighs] A monograph is
like a book, o-only shorter.
807
00:45:26,016 --> 00:45:28,018
I know what a monograph is.
808
00:45:28,518 --> 00:45:29,811
Why not
just write a book?
809
00:45:31,938 --> 00:45:34,274
I'm not sure I have
an entire book in me.
810
00:45:36,276 --> 00:45:38,862
You can't even dream
a whole dream, can you?
811
00:45:38,945 --> 00:45:41,364
[presenter] "...the world's blankest what?"
812
00:45:42,908 --> 00:45:43,909
[grunts]
813
00:45:47,954 --> 00:45:49,164
[groans]
814
00:45:51,583 --> 00:45:53,293
- [bed springs squeak]
- [chuckles]
815
00:46:01,343 --> 00:46:02,385
[sighs]
816
00:46:02,469 --> 00:46:04,846
Monet, Manet, Picasso.
817
00:46:04,930 --> 00:46:06,848
[farts]
818
00:46:10,393 --> 00:46:13,021
[inhales, exhales]
819
00:46:16,983 --> 00:46:18,985
[Hunham snoring]
820
00:46:33,500 --> 00:46:36,544
["Crying, Laughing, Loving, Lying"
playing]
821
00:46:41,466 --> 00:46:43,385
♪ Crying ♪
822
00:46:46,262 --> 00:46:50,809
♪ Crying never did no body no good no how ♪
823
00:46:55,313 --> 00:46:57,148
♪ That's why I ♪
824
00:47:00,110 --> 00:47:03,530
♪ I don't cry ♪
825
00:47:08,201 --> 00:47:10,412
♪ Laughing ♪
826
00:47:12,706 --> 00:47:17,460
♪ Laughing sometimes does
Somebody some good somehow ♪
827
00:47:19,504 --> 00:47:21,965
♪ That's why I ♪
828
00:47:24,050 --> 00:47:27,679
♪ I'm laughing now ♪
829
00:47:29,097 --> 00:47:31,558
♪ That's why I ♪
830
00:47:33,435 --> 00:47:37,272
♪ I'm laughing now ♪
831
00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:52,203
[song ends]
832
00:48:14,017 --> 00:48:17,187
[sighs]
833
00:48:17,270 --> 00:48:18,271
[Hunham clears throat]
834
00:48:19,647 --> 00:48:21,149
I have a surprise.
835
00:48:23,151 --> 00:48:25,737
Uh, these were a gift to me,
836
00:48:25,820 --> 00:48:28,948
and I would like to share them
with both of you.
837
00:48:30,450 --> 00:48:32,410
Look at them.
Look at all the festive shapes.
838
00:48:32,494 --> 00:48:35,663
Snowflakes and gingerbread men.
A tree.
839
00:48:35,747 --> 00:48:38,291
A little mitten. [chuckles]
840
00:48:38,374 --> 00:48:40,585
Mmm. [chuckles]
841
00:48:42,378 --> 00:48:43,379
Mmm.
842
00:48:44,506 --> 00:48:46,216
May I go to the bathroom, sir?
843
00:48:46,966 --> 00:48:47,967
[Hunham] You may.
844
00:48:52,430 --> 00:48:53,431
[sighs]
845
00:48:53,515 --> 00:48:54,724
Well, I'm trying.
846
00:48:55,350 --> 00:48:58,353
[laughing]
847
00:49:00,021 --> 00:49:01,356
Mmm.
848
00:49:01,439 --> 00:49:02,982
If you don't have a single room,
849
00:49:03,066 --> 00:49:04,859
uh, I'll take a junior suite
or the equivalent.
850
00:49:04,943 --> 00:49:08,446
I fully understand it's the holidays,
but it's kind of an emergency.
851
00:49:08,530 --> 00:49:10,323
Mm-hmm. Yeah, sure.
852
00:49:10,406 --> 00:49:11,825
Mr. Tully, what are you doing?
853
00:49:11,908 --> 00:49:13,243
Uh, no, no credit card.
854
00:49:13,326 --> 00:49:16,287
- I'll pay cash or traveler's checks.
- I didn't say you could use the phone.
855
00:49:16,371 --> 00:49:18,540
[chuckles] I see. Is there
anywhere else you could recommend?
856
00:49:18,623 --> 00:49:20,041
Maybe downtown or...
857
00:49:20,125 --> 00:49:22,127
- Was that a hotel?
- None of your business.
858
00:49:22,210 --> 00:49:25,130
It is absolutely my business.
I'm looking after you.
859
00:49:25,213 --> 00:49:27,423
Looking after me? Really?
860
00:49:27,507 --> 00:49:29,092
- Like what? Like my warden?
- [scoffs]
861
00:49:29,175 --> 00:49:30,635
Like my butler?
862
00:49:30,718 --> 00:49:32,846
- There's nobody here, okay?
- [sighs]
863
00:49:32,929 --> 00:49:34,931
Just us two losers
and a grieving mom.
864
00:49:35,014 --> 00:49:36,141
So let's cut the shit.
865
00:49:36,224 --> 00:49:38,143
You stay out of my way,
and I'll stay out of yours.
866
00:49:38,226 --> 00:49:40,019
- That's a detention.
- [groans]
867
00:49:40,103 --> 00:49:42,063
You just earned yourself
a detention, sir.
868
00:49:42,147 --> 00:49:43,148
Now, get back here!
869
00:49:43,231 --> 00:49:46,401
Being here with you is already
one big fucking detention!
870
00:49:46,484 --> 00:49:48,945
Son of a bitch,
that's another detention!
871
00:49:49,028 --> 00:49:50,780
["Deck the Halls" playing]
872
00:49:50,864 --> 00:49:51,948
Mr. Tully!
873
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:56,286
I don't know what you're
playing at, Mr. Tully,
874
00:49:56,369 --> 00:49:58,830
but you are courting disaster!
875
00:49:58,913 --> 00:50:01,374
Without exercise, the body devours itself.
876
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,210
You are careening
towards suspension!
877
00:50:04,294 --> 00:50:05,628
[groans]
878
00:50:09,174 --> 00:50:11,176
[panting]
879
00:50:16,222 --> 00:50:18,224
[breathing heavily]
880
00:50:31,070 --> 00:50:33,198
Don't even think about it, Mr. Tully.
881
00:50:33,865 --> 00:50:36,451
You are a hair's breadth
from suspension.
882
00:50:37,619 --> 00:50:40,246
I'll wash my hands of you,
you hear me?
883
00:50:40,330 --> 00:50:41,789
Wash my hands.
884
00:50:45,335 --> 00:50:46,836
Stop right there.
885
00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:50,048
You know the gym is
strictly off-limits.
886
00:50:51,674 --> 00:50:53,343
This is your Rubicon.
887
00:50:53,426 --> 00:50:56,638
Do not cross the Rubicon.
888
00:51:00,683 --> 00:51:02,393
Alea jacta est.
889
00:51:09,776 --> 00:51:12,779
[Tully screaming]
890
00:51:16,491 --> 00:51:18,701
Oh, fuck! Ow!
891
00:51:18,785 --> 00:51:21,329
Jesus, Mr. Hunham! Fuck!
892
00:51:22,538 --> 00:51:23,998
Hurry up! Hurry!
893
00:51:24,082 --> 00:51:25,416
I am hurrying!
894
00:51:26,084 --> 00:51:27,752
I was on thin ice already.
895
00:51:27,835 --> 00:51:29,963
If Woodrup finds out,
the facts won't matter.
896
00:51:30,046 --> 00:51:31,965
- He'll make it my fault.
- It is your fault!
897
00:51:32,048 --> 00:51:33,967
You were supposed to be
looking after me.
898
00:51:34,050 --> 00:51:35,551
I told you to stop!
899
00:51:35,635 --> 00:51:37,303
You said you washed
your hands of me.
900
00:51:37,387 --> 00:51:41,224
- No, I meant it metaphorically!
- Of course you meant it metaphorically.
901
00:51:41,307 --> 00:51:43,810
What were you going to do,
actually go and wash your hands?
902
00:51:43,893 --> 00:51:45,019
This is the end.
903
00:51:45,812 --> 00:51:48,231
They'll inform the school,
who will inform your parents,
904
00:51:48,314 --> 00:51:50,316
and then it's curtains. [chuckles]
905
00:51:51,526 --> 00:51:52,944
You're gonna get me fired.
906
00:51:54,028 --> 00:51:56,322
You. [scoffs]
907
00:51:56,406 --> 00:51:59,534
I'm the one that might lose an arm,
and all you can think about is yourself.
908
00:52:00,410 --> 00:52:03,496
[nurse] If you could fill this out,
please. Admissions and insurance.
909
00:52:06,332 --> 00:52:07,542
[sighs]
910
00:52:09,294 --> 00:52:10,295
Excuse me.
911
00:52:13,298 --> 00:52:16,050
Is there any way we could skip
this whole insurance thing?
912
00:52:16,134 --> 00:52:17,802
It's just standard procedure.
913
00:52:17,885 --> 00:52:19,512
[Tully] I understand,
but look, um,
914
00:52:20,305 --> 00:52:22,140
we were over at Squantz Pond
playing hockey,
915
00:52:22,223 --> 00:52:23,266
and I slipped on the ice.
916
00:52:23,349 --> 00:52:24,892
Angus, what are you doing?
917
00:52:24,976 --> 00:52:27,186
My mom told him not to take me,
but I made him.
918
00:52:28,813 --> 00:52:31,149
My folks are divorced. We don't get
to see each other very often.
919
00:52:31,232 --> 00:52:33,401
She'll be mad as a hornet
if she finds out.
920
00:52:33,484 --> 00:52:36,612
[nurse] Okay, that's your business,
but we just have certain protocols.
921
00:52:36,696 --> 00:52:38,323
- Yeah. Protocols.
- Please.
922
00:52:38,406 --> 00:52:40,241
I never get to see my dad.
923
00:52:40,325 --> 00:52:42,076
It was my fault. All mine.
924
00:52:43,119 --> 00:52:44,912
I don't want to get him
in any trouble.
925
00:52:45,538 --> 00:52:47,498
I don't want her dragging you
into court again.
926
00:52:48,166 --> 00:52:50,335
We can skip the insurance thing.
927
00:52:50,418 --> 00:52:51,627
We can pay cash.
928
00:52:53,046 --> 00:52:54,047
Right, Dad?
929
00:52:55,048 --> 00:52:57,342
[doctor] So the good news is
nothing's broken,
930
00:52:57,425 --> 00:52:59,969
but you did dislocate
your shoulder pretty badly.
931
00:53:00,053 --> 00:53:01,471
What does that mean?
932
00:53:01,554 --> 00:53:04,849
[doctor] Well, that means that your arm
has popped out of the socket,
933
00:53:04,932 --> 00:53:07,477
and we just need to
pop it back in.
934
00:53:09,312 --> 00:53:10,938
I'm going to have you lie down.
935
00:53:13,232 --> 00:53:15,151
- Nice and easy.
- Is this going to hurt?
936
00:53:15,234 --> 00:53:16,986
- [groaning]
- Any more than it does now?
937
00:53:17,070 --> 00:53:18,529
Not if you relax.
938
00:53:19,113 --> 00:53:22,658
The key is just to relax
as best as you can.
939
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:27,914
- [Tully groaning, gasping]
- [doctor] Deep breaths. Deep breaths.
940
00:53:27,997 --> 00:53:30,041
[breathing heavily]
941
00:53:31,751 --> 00:53:32,960
On the count of three.
942
00:53:33,461 --> 00:53:36,005
One, two, three.
943
00:53:36,714 --> 00:53:38,466
[groans]
944
00:53:42,220 --> 00:53:43,554
- [shoulder pops]
- Jesus!
945
00:53:43,638 --> 00:53:46,641
[Tully screaming, crying]
946
00:53:48,351 --> 00:53:50,937
- Barton men don't do that.
- Do what?
947
00:53:51,020 --> 00:53:52,605
Barton men don't lie.
948
00:53:52,688 --> 00:53:54,732
Yeah, well, I had momentum.
949
00:53:54,816 --> 00:53:55,817
Mm-hmm.
950
00:54:00,905 --> 00:54:01,906
Hello.
951
00:54:01,989 --> 00:54:03,991
- [typewriter dings]
- We have this prescription.
952
00:54:05,993 --> 00:54:07,245
Percodan. Okay.
953
00:54:07,328 --> 00:54:09,330
Uh, give me a couple minutes.
954
00:54:09,414 --> 00:54:10,665
Thank you.
955
00:54:12,208 --> 00:54:14,377
Look, you said if Woodrup finds out,
you're screwed.
956
00:54:14,460 --> 00:54:17,213
- So now he won't find out.
- What happens if your parents inquire?
957
00:54:17,296 --> 00:54:20,091
[scoffs] Never gonna happen. Trust me.
958
00:54:21,843 --> 00:54:25,680
Okay, then.
This all remains entre nous.
959
00:54:25,763 --> 00:54:27,265
Got it?
You know what entre nous means?
960
00:54:27,348 --> 00:54:28,975
Oui, monsieur.
961
00:54:29,684 --> 00:54:30,810
Now you owe me.
962
00:54:30,893 --> 00:54:32,270
Owe you?
963
00:54:32,979 --> 00:54:35,440
Oh, do not try to leverage me,
Mr. Tully.
964
00:54:35,523 --> 00:54:39,235
All I'm looking for is a little thank-you
that I did something nice for you.
965
00:54:40,862 --> 00:54:41,863
That's all.
966
00:54:44,157 --> 00:54:45,491
["No Matter What" playing]
967
00:54:45,575 --> 00:54:47,577
Think I'll start with a beer.
How about you?
968
00:54:48,327 --> 00:54:50,371
[Hunham] Don't be ridiculous, Mr. Tully.
969
00:54:50,455 --> 00:54:51,622
Get your cheeseburger.
970
00:54:52,248 --> 00:54:54,250
- They got Miller High Life.
- Mmm.
971
00:54:54,333 --> 00:54:56,419
- The champagne of beers.
- Oh.
972
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:01,132
Okay, you ready to order? Oh!
973
00:55:01,841 --> 00:55:02,842
Miss Crane.
974
00:55:03,468 --> 00:55:06,345
As I live and breathe.
What-what... What are you doing here?
975
00:55:06,429 --> 00:55:07,930
[laughs] Oh. Hi, guys.
976
00:55:08,014 --> 00:55:09,849
Yeah, I always pick up
a little extra work
977
00:55:09,932 --> 00:55:11,392
over Thanksgiving
and Christmas.
978
00:55:11,476 --> 00:55:12,477
Ah.
979
00:55:13,644 --> 00:55:16,063
Well, um, this is Mr. Tully.
980
00:55:16,147 --> 00:55:18,065
Oh, sure. I know you.
981
00:55:18,149 --> 00:55:19,442
Angus Tully.
982
00:55:19,525 --> 00:55:21,027
We met outside Dr. Woodrup's office.
983
00:55:21,110 --> 00:55:23,029
I was wrongly accused
of blowing up a toilet.
984
00:55:23,821 --> 00:55:25,490
I didn't know about
the wrongly part.
985
00:55:25,573 --> 00:55:26,866
[Hunham, Crane chuckle]
986
00:55:26,949 --> 00:55:28,576
Um, he'll have a cheeseburger.
987
00:55:28,659 --> 00:55:29,744
Okay.
988
00:55:29,827 --> 00:55:31,037
And a Miller High Life, please.
989
00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:33,039
Uh, no, you will not.
990
00:55:33,122 --> 00:55:35,041
Where do you stand
on Miller High Life, Miss Crane?
991
00:55:35,124 --> 00:55:38,920
Well, like they say,
it's the champagne of beers.
992
00:55:39,003 --> 00:55:40,838
- And she's a professional.
- [Hunham] Okay.
993
00:55:40,922 --> 00:55:43,174
[laughs] Okay,
one cheeseburger.
994
00:55:44,842 --> 00:55:46,135
- And a Coke.
- [Crane] Okay.
995
00:55:46,219 --> 00:55:47,929
I will have a cheeseburger as well.
996
00:55:48,012 --> 00:55:49,472
[chuckles]
Two cheeseburgers.
997
00:55:49,555 --> 00:55:51,432
- And a Jim Beam.
- [Crane] Oh.
998
00:55:51,516 --> 00:55:53,643
- On the rocks. Please.
- [Crane] Okay.
999
00:55:54,810 --> 00:55:56,979
Okay. You got it, guys.
1000
00:55:57,063 --> 00:55:58,272
Thank you.
1001
00:55:59,982 --> 00:56:00,983
Hmm.
1002
00:56:02,109 --> 00:56:04,529
[chuckles] Ouch.
You two have chemistry.
1003
00:56:04,612 --> 00:56:06,322
[laughs] Okay.
1004
00:56:06,405 --> 00:56:08,115
That's the Percodan talking.
1005
00:56:08,199 --> 00:56:10,910
I don't know, seeing her like this,
I think she's pretty attractive.
1006
00:56:10,993 --> 00:56:13,829
Listen, you hormonal vulgarian,
1007
00:56:13,913 --> 00:56:15,998
that woman deserves your respect,
1008
00:56:16,082 --> 00:56:19,544
not your erotic speculation.
1009
00:56:19,627 --> 00:56:21,546
Well, may I at least
go to the bathroom?
1010
00:56:21,629 --> 00:56:22,630
[sighs]
1011
00:56:23,214 --> 00:56:24,215
Sir?
1012
00:56:24,298 --> 00:56:25,633
You mean the pay phone?
1013
00:56:34,141 --> 00:56:35,309
- Okay.
- Ah.
1014
00:56:35,393 --> 00:56:36,811
A Coke
1015
00:56:36,894 --> 00:56:38,354
- and a double Jim.
- Oh.
1016
00:56:38,437 --> 00:56:39,814
[whispers]
I charged you for a single.
1017
00:56:39,897 --> 00:56:41,065
- Thank you.
- [chuckles]
1018
00:56:41,148 --> 00:56:43,150
- Chin-chin.
- Mm-hmm.
1019
00:56:43,234 --> 00:56:46,070
So, how'd you get stuck
holding over?
1020
00:56:46,153 --> 00:56:47,655
I thought it was
Mr. Endicott's year.
1021
00:56:47,738 --> 00:56:49,615
[chuckles] No, I know.
1022
00:56:49,699 --> 00:56:51,909
Uh, I'm being punished.
1023
00:56:51,993 --> 00:56:53,828
Yeah, Dr. Woodrup is, um...
1024
00:56:53,911 --> 00:56:56,414
A pompous ass
with a dictator complex?
1025
00:56:56,497 --> 00:56:58,332
[both chuckle]
1026
00:56:58,416 --> 00:56:59,750
Oops. Um...
1027
00:56:59,834 --> 00:57:02,503
Uh, what I meant to say was, uh...
1028
00:57:02,587 --> 00:57:05,089
Well, he's a lovely
compassionate educator
1029
00:57:05,172 --> 00:57:07,508
- with a really groovy beard.
- [both laugh]
1030
00:57:08,259 --> 00:57:10,720
Yeah. You know, I've had
a lot of former students
1031
00:57:10,803 --> 00:57:12,096
ascend to positions of authority.
1032
00:57:12,179 --> 00:57:14,599
He's the only one
I've ever had to report to.
1033
00:57:14,682 --> 00:57:16,392
- He was your student?
- Oh, yes.
1034
00:57:16,475 --> 00:57:18,060
My first year teaching...
1035
00:57:18,144 --> 00:57:20,187
[whispers] ...and he was
an asshole even then.
1036
00:57:20,271 --> 00:57:22,273
[both laugh]
1037
00:57:22,356 --> 00:57:24,191
Oh.
1038
00:57:24,275 --> 00:57:27,194
Well, listen, if you and Angus
are really all alone up there,
1039
00:57:27,278 --> 00:57:29,071
I'm having
a little Christmas Eve party.
1040
00:57:29,155 --> 00:57:32,033
In case, you know,
you guys want to stop by.
1041
00:57:35,036 --> 00:57:37,413
["Knock Three Times" playing]
1042
00:57:37,496 --> 00:57:39,248
♪ Oh, my sweetness ♪
1043
00:57:40,416 --> 00:57:43,628
♪ Means you'll meet me in the hallway ♪
1044
00:57:45,713 --> 00:57:47,340
♪ Twice on the pipe ♪
1045
00:57:47,423 --> 00:57:51,469
[pinball machine dinging]
1046
00:57:53,554 --> 00:57:56,891
♪ If you look out your window tonight... ♪
1047
00:57:58,643 --> 00:58:01,228
Sorry, kid. Next game's taken.
1048
00:58:01,312 --> 00:58:04,649
- But I just put a dime down.
- I don't care. My buddy's up next.
1049
00:58:04,732 --> 00:58:06,067
That's not how it works.
1050
00:58:06,150 --> 00:58:07,360
That's how it works in here.
1051
00:58:08,027 --> 00:58:10,029
Why don't you go shoot
the other fucking machine?
1052
00:58:10,112 --> 00:58:12,281
Because I don't want to shoot
the other fucking machine.
1053
00:58:12,365 --> 00:58:14,659
- I want to use this one.
- Fuck!
1054
00:58:15,534 --> 00:58:17,203
Thanks for fucking up my mojo.
1055
00:58:17,995 --> 00:58:20,623
Hey, Kenny, you're up.
1056
00:58:20,706 --> 00:58:23,125
Bullshit. I put my dime down.
I'm up next.
1057
00:58:23,209 --> 00:58:24,460
What was that?
1058
00:58:28,506 --> 00:58:29,507
Oh.
1059
00:58:34,470 --> 00:58:37,264
Hey, sport,
my eyes are up here.
1060
00:58:37,348 --> 00:58:38,891
[townie 1]
Look at this fucking kid.
1061
00:58:38,974 --> 00:58:41,102
Spoiled little fucking Barton boy.
1062
00:58:41,185 --> 00:58:43,354
Yeah, he's a fancy little prick,
isn't he?
1063
00:58:43,437 --> 00:58:46,524
You know what?
You can just take my dime.
1064
00:58:46,607 --> 00:58:49,902
You want me to take your dime?
Like it's, uh... Like it's charity?
1065
00:58:49,985 --> 00:58:54,782
No. What I meant was, um,
we could play together.
1066
00:58:54,865 --> 00:58:56,367
Yeah, you could be my left arm.
1067
00:58:56,450 --> 00:58:58,577
The fuck did you just say to me?
1068
00:58:59,704 --> 00:59:01,747
- [Kenny] Hey!
- Mr. Hunham?
1069
00:59:01,831 --> 00:59:03,124
[Hunham] Mmm, yes?
1070
00:59:03,207 --> 00:59:05,251
- Mr. Hunham, can we go, please?
- Why?
1071
00:59:05,334 --> 00:59:07,586
I've just been called
a fancy little prick. We should go.
1072
00:59:07,670 --> 00:59:10,131
Hey! Why'd you run off?
We were just talking to you.
1073
00:59:10,214 --> 00:59:11,632
Don't they teach you manners
at that school?
1074
00:59:11,716 --> 00:59:13,801
- No, no, no. No, no.
- [Crane] Kenneth! Leave him alone.
1075
00:59:13,884 --> 00:59:15,886
They just came in for some food.
1076
00:59:15,970 --> 00:59:17,430
[Hunham] Kenneth. Kenneth.
1077
00:59:17,513 --> 00:59:18,556
Is that right?
1078
00:59:18,639 --> 00:59:21,225
Uh, I don't doubt he did
something to offend you.
1079
00:59:21,308 --> 00:59:22,810
It's his specialty.
1080
00:59:22,893 --> 00:59:25,688
Now, perhaps I can purchase you
gentlemen something to imbibe,
1081
00:59:25,771 --> 00:59:29,108
and we could let whatever
this unfortunate incident is
1082
00:59:29,191 --> 00:59:31,068
go the way of the dodo.
1083
00:59:31,152 --> 00:59:32,236
The what?
1084
00:59:32,903 --> 00:59:34,864
The dodo. It's an extinct bird.
1085
00:59:34,947 --> 00:59:38,826
What he's trying to say is
he'd like to buy you guys a beer.
1086
00:59:42,455 --> 00:59:44,749
- Yeah, yeah. Okay.
- [Hunham] Great.
1087
00:59:44,832 --> 00:59:46,834
Yeah, yeah. I'll have a Miller.
1088
00:59:46,917 --> 00:59:48,335
Champagne of beers.
1089
00:59:51,839 --> 00:59:54,300
Why'd you buy those guys beers?
They're assholes.
1090
00:59:54,383 --> 00:59:56,010
That's one way to look at it.
1091
00:59:57,636 --> 00:59:58,637
Hey.
1092
00:59:59,388 --> 01:00:00,389
Catch.
1093
01:00:01,724 --> 01:00:04,059
How many boys do you know
have had their hands blown off?
1094
01:00:06,395 --> 01:00:08,689
Barton boys don't go to Vietnam.
1095
01:00:08,773 --> 01:00:12,568
No, they go to Yale or Dartmouth
or Cornell,
1096
01:00:12,651 --> 01:00:14,737
whether they deserve to or not.
1097
01:00:15,571 --> 01:00:19,158
- Except for Curtis Lamb.
- Except for Curtis Lamb.
1098
01:00:25,873 --> 01:00:27,291
Were you ever in the military?
1099
01:00:28,083 --> 01:00:31,295
Yes. I tried to enlist in '41,
but was rejected.
1100
01:00:31,378 --> 01:00:32,838
I have to get in over there.
1101
01:00:34,173 --> 01:00:35,841
They made me an air raid warden.
1102
01:00:36,550 --> 01:00:38,677
Gave me a whistle
and everything. [chuckles]
1103
01:00:38,761 --> 01:00:41,055
Helmet, armband.
1104
01:00:41,806 --> 01:00:43,015
Yeah.
1105
01:00:44,391 --> 01:00:46,769
[chuckles] Before we get going,
can I be candid with you?
1106
01:00:47,478 --> 01:00:48,479
Mm-hmm.
1107
01:00:49,605 --> 01:00:50,606
You smell.
1108
01:00:55,236 --> 01:00:58,823
Like fish. And it's really noticeable
towards the end of the day.
1109
01:00:58,906 --> 01:01:00,908
I can even smell it on your coat.
1110
01:01:00,991 --> 01:01:03,494
- Mind if I crack the window?
- [sighs]
1111
01:01:05,830 --> 01:01:07,832
Trimethylaminuria.
1112
01:01:07,915 --> 01:01:08,916
Huh?
1113
01:01:08,999 --> 01:01:11,836
Trimethylaminuria.
1114
01:01:11,919 --> 01:01:14,630
Means my body can't
break down trimethylamine.
1115
01:01:14,713 --> 01:01:16,298
That's the smell.
1116
01:01:16,382 --> 01:01:19,885
And, uh, yes, more toward
the end of the day.
1117
01:01:19,969 --> 01:01:21,303
Wow.
1118
01:01:21,387 --> 01:01:24,473
- Your whole life?
- Mm-hmm.
1119
01:01:24,557 --> 01:01:26,183
No wonder you're afraid of women.
1120
01:01:26,267 --> 01:01:29,061
I am not afraid of women.
1121
01:01:29,144 --> 01:01:30,354
- Jesus H. Christ.
- Sorry.
1122
01:01:30,437 --> 01:01:31,605
I shouldn't have said anything. It's...
1123
01:01:31,689 --> 01:01:32,898
[sighs]
1124
01:01:32,982 --> 01:01:36,026
Dr. Gertler says I don't always
give consideration to my audience.
1125
01:01:36,110 --> 01:01:38,654
Ah. And who is Dr. Gertler?
1126
01:01:39,822 --> 01:01:41,657
- My shrink.
- Hmm.
1127
01:01:41,740 --> 01:01:44,994
Has Dr. Gertler ever tried a good,
swift kick in the ass?
1128
01:01:45,077 --> 01:01:46,579
[scoffs]
1129
01:01:46,662 --> 01:01:48,789
Okay, all right, now your turn.
1130
01:01:48,873 --> 01:01:50,165
- Hmm.
- Go ahead.
1131
01:01:50,249 --> 01:01:51,834
- Tell me something about me.
- [scoffs]
1132
01:01:51,917 --> 01:01:53,377
- Something negative.
- Something negative about you?
1133
01:01:53,460 --> 01:01:55,337
Sure. Just one thing.
1134
01:01:55,421 --> 01:01:57,131
Just one?
1135
01:01:58,090 --> 01:02:00,175
[Mary] Why'd you two miss
dinner last night?
1136
01:02:00,259 --> 01:02:04,638
Oh, we went into town on some, uh...
[sniffs] ...school-related business.
1137
01:02:04,722 --> 01:02:06,599
And you couldn't call?
1138
01:02:06,682 --> 01:02:07,975
Sorry.
1139
01:02:10,060 --> 01:02:11,604
Good morning, everybody.
1140
01:02:11,687 --> 01:02:13,355
- Hi, Danny.
- Good morning.
1141
01:02:13,439 --> 01:02:15,399
You can go on in
and fix yourself a plate.
1142
01:02:15,482 --> 01:02:17,818
Mmm, I just saw something funny.
1143
01:02:17,902 --> 01:02:22,865
I walked into the gym,
and someone had vomited in there.
1144
01:02:26,452 --> 01:02:28,704
You don't say. I don't know
anything about that.
1145
01:02:28,787 --> 01:02:30,247
Yeah. Me, neither.
1146
01:02:30,331 --> 01:02:32,166
No, uh, I'll look into that
right away.
1147
01:02:32,249 --> 01:02:33,584
Thank you.
1148
01:02:33,667 --> 01:02:35,836
Mm-hmm. I see how it is.
1149
01:02:42,801 --> 01:02:45,054
- [bucket thuds]
- [scoffs]
1150
01:02:46,680 --> 01:02:48,849
You're out your mind.
1151
01:02:58,067 --> 01:02:59,902
[sighs]
1152
01:03:06,909 --> 01:03:08,535
[sighs]
1153
01:03:11,914 --> 01:03:13,332
[grunts]
1154
01:03:16,543 --> 01:03:18,545
[knife banging]
1155
01:03:21,674 --> 01:03:23,467
I appreciate you pitching in.
1156
01:03:23,550 --> 01:03:25,886
No, no,
I should be thanking you.
1157
01:03:25,970 --> 01:03:29,139
- This is very therapeutic.
- [chuckles]
1158
01:03:29,223 --> 01:03:32,267
Try it when you're stuck serving 300
little shits, and all they do is complain.
1159
01:03:32,351 --> 01:03:33,978
Then you tell me
how therapeutic it is.
1160
01:03:34,061 --> 01:03:35,396
- Well, fair enough.
- [chuckles]
1161
01:03:35,479 --> 01:03:37,189
Mary.
1162
01:03:38,148 --> 01:03:39,400
Speaking of.
1163
01:03:41,276 --> 01:03:44,196
[chuckles] Oh, brownies?
God, yes. I want all of these.
1164
01:03:44,279 --> 01:03:45,823
[Mary] Ah-ah! Just take one.
1165
01:03:45,906 --> 01:03:47,741
The rest is for
the Christmas party tonight.
1166
01:03:47,825 --> 01:03:49,660
What Christmas party?
There's a Christmas party?
1167
01:03:49,743 --> 01:03:53,247
[Mary] Yeah, at Miss Crane's house.
I'm only going to go for a little bit.
1168
01:03:53,330 --> 01:03:55,374
Show my face and say I was there.
1169
01:03:55,457 --> 01:03:57,167
You know, Miss Crane said
she invited you too.
1170
01:03:58,293 --> 01:04:00,421
- I want to go to the party.
- [stammers]
1171
01:04:00,504 --> 01:04:02,464
She didn't mean it.
We were just making small talk.
1172
01:04:02,548 --> 01:04:04,216
If you don't want to go,
don't go.
1173
01:04:04,299 --> 01:04:05,676
- I'll take him.
- [scoffs]
1174
01:04:05,759 --> 01:04:07,094
Mary can take me.
1175
01:04:07,177 --> 01:04:10,848
No, that's not how it works.
You're under my supervision.
1176
01:04:11,974 --> 01:04:14,101
Okay, maybe it's fine for you
to sit around here
1177
01:04:14,184 --> 01:04:17,730
and read books all day,
but I'm losing my goddamn mind.
1178
01:04:17,813 --> 01:04:19,398
- Jesus!
- [Mary] Hey!
1179
01:04:19,481 --> 01:04:22,693
Watch your mouth, young man.
Not on Christmas Eve.
1180
01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:24,361
You see?
1181
01:04:24,445 --> 01:04:26,363
I can't trust him
in a social situation.
1182
01:04:26,447 --> 01:04:30,534
Mr. Hunham, if you are too chickenshit
to go to this party, then just say that.
1183
01:04:30,617 --> 01:04:32,578
But don't fuck it up for
the little asshole.
1184
01:04:32,661 --> 01:04:34,997
What's wrong with you?
It's just a party.
1185
01:04:36,540 --> 01:04:39,168
- What are you afraid of?
- [sighs] I don't know.
1186
01:04:39,251 --> 01:04:41,754
- Shit. Now you got me nervous.
- [chuckles]
1187
01:04:41,837 --> 01:04:44,840
["White Christmas" playing]
1188
01:05:23,962 --> 01:05:26,965
[sniffing]
1189
01:05:36,266 --> 01:05:38,685
- [can spraying]
- Mmm.
1190
01:05:41,063 --> 01:05:42,523
Yeah.
1191
01:05:50,197 --> 01:05:52,032
[chattering]
1192
01:05:52,116 --> 01:05:55,119
["Jingle Bells" instrumental playing]
1193
01:06:01,917 --> 01:06:04,294
- Oh, hi.
- Oh, hi.
1194
01:06:04,378 --> 01:06:07,172
- Oh, you made it. Welcome.
- [chuckles] Yes.
1195
01:06:07,256 --> 01:06:08,590
Hi. Aw.
1196
01:06:08,674 --> 01:06:10,175
I am so glad you're here.
1197
01:06:10,259 --> 01:06:11,510
We're happy to be here.
1198
01:06:11,593 --> 01:06:13,011
Where should I put these?
1199
01:06:13,095 --> 01:06:14,721
- Um, oh. [chuckles]
- Mm-hmm.
1200
01:06:14,805 --> 01:06:16,223
- [chuckles]
- [gasps]
1201
01:06:16,306 --> 01:06:17,850
Those, I'll be putting
on my bedside table.
1202
01:06:17,933 --> 01:06:20,185
Oh! [laughs]
You're a wicked woman.
1203
01:06:20,269 --> 01:06:22,354
- [chuckles] You have no idea.
- Oh!
1204
01:06:22,437 --> 01:06:24,690
There's certainly
a lot of people here.
1205
01:06:24,773 --> 01:06:26,233
[sighs] Yeah, yeah.
1206
01:06:26,316 --> 01:06:28,527
Some family, friends from town.
1207
01:06:28,610 --> 01:06:29,945
- Oh.
- Only you guys from work.
1208
01:06:30,028 --> 01:06:31,446
- Ah.
- Yeah.
1209
01:06:31,530 --> 01:06:33,866
- That's my mom on the couch.
- [Hunham] Mm-hmm.
1210
01:06:33,949 --> 01:06:36,410
[Crane] Uh, that's my sister Kathy
1211
01:06:36,493 --> 01:06:39,037
and her son Marvin.
1212
01:06:39,121 --> 01:06:41,707
Oh, and that's my friend Tom.
1213
01:06:41,790 --> 01:06:44,251
He owns the men's clothing store
on Bolen Street.
1214
01:06:44,334 --> 01:06:46,336
- [Hunham] Of course.
- [Crane] Yeah, and his son...
1215
01:06:49,756 --> 01:06:51,758
[music fades]
1216
01:06:51,842 --> 01:06:54,845
["Away in a Manger" playing]
1217
01:07:09,026 --> 01:07:10,736
[Crane] Angus.
1218
01:07:10,819 --> 01:07:12,404
This is Angus Tully.
1219
01:07:12,487 --> 01:07:14,281
He's one of our students
at Barton.
1220
01:07:14,364 --> 01:07:16,867
This is my niece Elise.
1221
01:07:17,951 --> 01:07:20,287
"Niece Elise." Nice.
1222
01:07:20,370 --> 01:07:24,124
[Crane] And this is Mr. Hunham.
He's one of our finest teachers.
1223
01:07:24,208 --> 01:07:25,417
- [Hunham] Oh.
- [Crane] History, right?
1224
01:07:25,500 --> 01:07:27,878
- [Hunham] Uh, ancient civilizations.
- [Crane] Ah. [chuckles]
1225
01:07:27,961 --> 01:07:31,548
And this is Mary Lamb.
She is the manager of the cafeteria.
1226
01:07:31,632 --> 01:07:32,633
- [Elise] Cool.
- Hi.
1227
01:07:32,716 --> 01:07:34,051
Hi. [chuckles]
1228
01:07:34,134 --> 01:07:38,555
Um, hey, why don't you take Angus
down into the basement?
1229
01:07:38,639 --> 01:07:41,266
- Introduce him to our family tradition.
- Come on.
1230
01:07:42,100 --> 01:07:44,436
Okay, and, uh, why don't I
get you guys some drinks?
1231
01:07:44,519 --> 01:07:46,271
- Uh, Jim Beam for you, right?
- Correct.
1232
01:07:46,355 --> 01:07:47,731
Okay, and what about you, Mary?
1233
01:07:47,814 --> 01:07:49,691
- Uh, I'll take a whiskey.
- Okay.
1234
01:07:49,775 --> 01:07:51,276
[children chattering]
1235
01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:53,153
["He's a Chubby Little Fellow" playing]
1236
01:07:53,237 --> 01:07:56,031
♪ Who'll be around
On Christmas Eve night ♪
1237
01:07:56,114 --> 01:07:58,784
♪ He's a chubby little fellow
With a long white beard ♪
1238
01:07:58,867 --> 01:08:01,536
♪ And he comes from faraway... ♪
1239
01:08:01,620 --> 01:08:03,622
This is what you wanted
to show me?
1240
01:08:03,705 --> 01:08:06,708
I grew up playing down here
during my aunt's parties.
1241
01:08:06,792 --> 01:08:08,293
I think it's kind of cool.
1242
01:08:08,377 --> 01:08:10,337
There's a purity to it.
1243
01:08:11,463 --> 01:08:13,715
I mean, every child is an artist.
1244
01:08:15,050 --> 01:08:18,220
The problem is remaining
an artist when we grow up.
1245
01:08:19,471 --> 01:08:20,722
Picasso said that.
1246
01:08:20,806 --> 01:08:22,516
Picasso's cool.
1247
01:08:22,599 --> 01:08:24,142
Yeah, I saw Guernica once.
1248
01:08:24,226 --> 01:08:25,936
- You know, the... the big mural?
- Yeah.
1249
01:08:26,019 --> 01:08:28,021
- With the horse?
- [laughs]
1250
01:08:28,105 --> 01:08:30,274
Yeah, I know Guernica.
You really saw it?
1251
01:08:30,357 --> 01:08:33,568
Yeah. At The Museum of Modern Art
in New York.
1252
01:08:33,652 --> 01:08:35,612
It's huge.
1253
01:08:35,696 --> 01:08:36,697
My dad took me.
1254
01:08:37,990 --> 01:08:40,117
♪ Merry Christmas ♪
1255
01:08:40,200 --> 01:08:42,119
["Silent Night" playing]
1256
01:08:42,202 --> 01:08:47,207
♪ - To each one of you ♪
♪ - To all of you ♪
1257
01:08:47,291 --> 01:08:50,252
♪ - Ooh-ooh ♪
♪ - Mmm ♪
1258
01:08:50,335 --> 01:08:56,049
♪ Silentnight ♪
1259
01:08:56,133 --> 01:09:00,012
♪ Holy night... ♪
1260
01:09:00,095 --> 01:09:02,097
There you go.
1261
01:09:03,682 --> 01:09:05,225
Hey, how you doing, hmm?
1262
01:09:05,309 --> 01:09:07,394
- I'm doing all right.
- Okay.
1263
01:09:08,979 --> 01:09:11,023
They put me in charge
of the music.
1264
01:09:11,106 --> 01:09:12,733
Who put you in charge
of the music?
1265
01:09:12,816 --> 01:09:14,443
- I did.
- [laughs]
1266
01:09:14,526 --> 01:09:15,736
- You so crazy.
- [laughs]
1267
01:09:15,819 --> 01:09:17,863
Oh. I got you something.
1268
01:09:17,946 --> 01:09:20,365
- No, Danny.
- Yeah, go ahead.
1269
01:09:20,449 --> 01:09:22,200
Mm-mmm.
You didn't have to do all this.
1270
01:09:22,284 --> 01:09:25,120
I don't have to do anything
but pay taxes and die.
1271
01:09:25,203 --> 01:09:27,289
I wanted to. Here.
1272
01:09:27,372 --> 01:09:32,919
♪ Holy infant so tender and mild... ♪
1273
01:09:34,921 --> 01:09:36,465
This is lovely.
1274
01:09:36,548 --> 01:09:37,966
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
1275
01:09:38,050 --> 01:09:39,760
But, Danny,
I didn't get you anything.
1276
01:09:39,843 --> 01:09:40,844
Yes, you did.
1277
01:09:40,927 --> 01:09:43,722
You got me that beautiful smile.
1278
01:09:43,805 --> 01:09:45,515
[chuckles]
1279
01:09:45,599 --> 01:09:47,309
- There it is.
- [Mary chuckles]
1280
01:09:47,392 --> 01:09:50,062
[laughs] There it is.
1281
01:09:50,145 --> 01:09:53,148
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
1282
01:09:55,650 --> 01:09:56,985
[Tully] Am I doing this right?
1283
01:09:57,069 --> 01:09:58,862
[Elise]
There's no right or wrong.
1284
01:09:59,696 --> 01:10:03,325
♪ I wish my mom would marry Santa Claus ♪
1285
01:10:03,408 --> 01:10:07,371
♪ Then I know he would always stay ♪
1286
01:10:07,454 --> 01:10:11,750
♪ And we could always play
With the toys... ♪
1287
01:10:11,833 --> 01:10:13,919
Are you trying to look down my shirt?
1288
01:10:14,002 --> 01:10:16,797
[laughs] No.
1289
01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:17,881
Yes.
1290
01:10:22,552 --> 01:10:25,847
You know, I'm not gonna do this
if you're not gonna take it seriously.
1291
01:10:25,931 --> 01:10:28,100
[laughs] I am taking it seriously.
1292
01:10:28,183 --> 01:10:30,143
As seriously as one can take
finger painting.
1293
01:10:30,227 --> 01:10:31,728
[laughs] You're not.
1294
01:10:31,812 --> 01:10:35,524
You missed this whole area
right here.
1295
01:10:37,692 --> 01:10:41,071
♪ And it would always be ♪
1296
01:10:41,154 --> 01:10:45,158
♪ Like Christmas every day for me ♪
1297
01:10:59,047 --> 01:11:00,382
[chuckles]
1298
01:11:01,508 --> 01:11:02,884
Oh. [chuckles]
1299
01:11:02,968 --> 01:11:04,761
- Well...
- Mistletoe. [laughs]
1300
01:11:04,845 --> 01:11:07,264
Oh, yes, of course,
that's... that's why. Right.
1301
01:11:07,347 --> 01:11:09,349
- Ah. [laughs]
- [laughs]
1302
01:11:09,433 --> 01:11:10,684
You know, it's interesting.
1303
01:11:10,767 --> 01:11:13,437
Aeneas, uh,
carried mistletoe with him
1304
01:11:13,520 --> 01:11:15,313
when he descended
into Hades, uh,
1305
01:11:15,397 --> 01:11:16,940
in search of his father.
1306
01:11:17,023 --> 01:11:18,942
Oh. Huh.
1307
01:11:20,026 --> 01:11:22,362
Anyway, uh, I like your tree.
1308
01:11:22,446 --> 01:11:24,239
It's very space-age.
1309
01:11:24,322 --> 01:11:27,117
Oh! I bought it to commemorate
the moon landing.
1310
01:11:27,200 --> 01:11:29,536
- Really? Oh. Oh.
- Yeah.
1311
01:11:29,619 --> 01:11:31,246
[sighs]
1312
01:11:32,914 --> 01:11:35,041
So, where's your family
this Christmas?
1313
01:11:35,125 --> 01:11:36,877
Nowhere. I'm an only child.
1314
01:11:36,960 --> 01:11:38,587
Uh, my mother died
when I was young.
1315
01:11:38,670 --> 01:11:39,796
Oh.
1316
01:11:39,880 --> 01:11:41,339
And your father?
1317
01:11:41,423 --> 01:11:42,799
[chuckles]
1318
01:11:42,883 --> 01:11:45,051
Let's just say I left home
when I was 15.
1319
01:11:45,135 --> 01:11:46,678
- You ran away?
- Worse.
1320
01:11:46,761 --> 01:11:49,181
- I got a scholarship to Barton.
- Oh.
1321
01:11:49,264 --> 01:11:53,018
And from there, I went to college
and never looked back.
1322
01:11:53,101 --> 01:11:55,479
- Oh, but you did a little.
- Hmm?
1323
01:11:55,562 --> 01:11:57,522
I mean, you came back here.
1324
01:11:57,606 --> 01:11:59,608
Ah.
1325
01:11:59,691 --> 01:12:02,402
Feels kind of like home. Yes.
1326
01:12:02,486 --> 01:12:05,197
And I guess I thought
I could make a difference.
1327
01:12:05,280 --> 01:12:08,116
I mean, I used to think I could
prepare them for the world,
1328
01:12:08,200 --> 01:12:09,659
- even a little.
- Mm-hmm.
1329
01:12:09,743 --> 01:12:11,203
Provide standards and grounding
1330
01:12:11,286 --> 01:12:13,121
like Dr. Greene always
drilled into us.
1331
01:12:13,205 --> 01:12:15,457
But, uh, the world doesn't
make sense anymore.
1332
01:12:15,540 --> 01:12:18,585
[chuckles] I mean, it's on fire.
1333
01:12:18,668 --> 01:12:20,754
The rich don't give a shit.
1334
01:12:20,837 --> 01:12:22,756
Poor kids are cannon fodder.
1335
01:12:22,839 --> 01:12:24,925
Integrity is a punch line.
1336
01:12:25,008 --> 01:12:27,636
Trust is just a name on a bank.
1337
01:12:28,261 --> 01:12:29,888
[chuckles] Well...
1338
01:12:30,931 --> 01:12:33,058
Look, if that's all true,
1339
01:12:33,975 --> 01:12:36,811
then now is when they most need
someone like you.
1340
01:12:40,815 --> 01:12:43,318
[record scratches, skips]
1341
01:12:43,401 --> 01:12:45,654
["When Winter Comes" playing]
1342
01:12:45,737 --> 01:12:51,076
Danny, did you know that
Curtis used to love Artie Shaw?
1343
01:12:51,159 --> 01:12:53,161
You know,
we used to dance to this.
1344
01:12:53,245 --> 01:12:54,704
[chuckles]
1345
01:12:54,788 --> 01:12:57,582
What teenage kid you know
listens to Artie Shaw?
1346
01:12:59,000 --> 01:13:00,001
Hmm.
1347
01:13:01,002 --> 01:13:02,963
You're killing me. Can't you play
something a little hipper?
1348
01:13:03,046 --> 01:13:04,673
Don't touch that goddamn record.
1349
01:13:04,756 --> 01:13:06,675
Hey, wait. Hey, Mary,
come on, just sit down.
1350
01:13:06,758 --> 01:13:08,260
- [Mary] Oh, I'm okay.
- [Danny] All right.
1351
01:13:08,343 --> 01:13:10,512
- No, Danny, I'm okay.
- I-I know. Please.
1352
01:13:10,595 --> 01:13:13,515
- Okay, but I said I'm okay.
- Okay.
1353
01:13:13,598 --> 01:13:16,476
♪ And I'll be fine in the summer ♪
1354
01:13:16,560 --> 01:13:19,479
♪ But then I gotta have you
To cuddle up to ♪
1355
01:13:19,563 --> 01:13:21,856
♪ When winter comes ♪
1356
01:13:39,040 --> 01:13:40,917
Go get me another drink.
1357
01:13:42,544 --> 01:13:44,379
So, are you planning
anything special for tomorrow?
1358
01:13:44,462 --> 01:13:46,840
No. Why? Are you having, um...
1359
01:13:46,923 --> 01:13:48,925
Oh, no, no. I just...
1360
01:13:49,009 --> 01:13:51,636
I thought maybe you were doing
something special for Angus.
1361
01:13:51,720 --> 01:13:53,346
Oh.
1362
01:13:54,764 --> 01:13:56,933
- You should.
- Oh.
1363
01:13:57,017 --> 01:13:59,269
Help preserve some of the magic.
1364
01:13:59,352 --> 01:14:02,480
I mean, he may be
a little difficult, but he's still...
1365
01:14:02,564 --> 01:14:04,482
- He's just a kid.
- Yeah.
1366
01:14:04,566 --> 01:14:08,612
Life catches up to them so fast.
1367
01:14:08,695 --> 01:14:10,780
Them. Ha.
1368
01:14:12,157 --> 01:14:14,284
- Us.
- Mm-hmm.
1369
01:14:17,203 --> 01:14:19,956
You're a very sweet person, Miss Crane.
1370
01:14:20,040 --> 01:14:21,625
Aw.
1371
01:14:22,709 --> 01:14:24,836
- So are you.
- [chuckles]
1372
01:14:24,919 --> 01:14:26,504
- When you want to be.
- Mmm.
1373
01:14:26,588 --> 01:14:27,964
And it's Lydia.
1374
01:14:28,048 --> 01:14:30,050
Lydia. [chuckles]
1375
01:14:31,092 --> 01:14:33,011
[door opens]
1376
01:14:34,638 --> 01:14:36,556
- Excuse me for a minute.
- Mmm.
1377
01:14:36,640 --> 01:14:38,642
[Crane] Hi.
1378
01:14:38,725 --> 01:14:41,770
["It's the Most Wonderful Time
of the Year" playing]
1379
01:14:41,853 --> 01:14:44,022
♪ There'll be much mistletoeing ♪
1380
01:14:44,105 --> 01:14:45,940
♪ And hearts will be glowing ♪
1381
01:14:46,024 --> 01:14:49,110
♪ When loved ones are near ♪
1382
01:14:49,194 --> 01:14:52,530
♪ It's the most wonderful time ♪
1383
01:14:52,614 --> 01:14:55,784
♪ Of the year... ♪
1384
01:14:55,867 --> 01:14:57,452
[sighs]
1385
01:14:58,536 --> 01:15:00,997
Mr. Hunham? Mr. Hunham,
could you come with me, please?
1386
01:15:01,081 --> 01:15:02,999
Yeah. What is it?
1387
01:15:03,083 --> 01:15:05,043
Come on. I'm serious.
1388
01:15:05,126 --> 01:15:06,878
[grunts]
1389
01:15:08,254 --> 01:15:10,340
- Come on.
- Yes.
1390
01:15:10,423 --> 01:15:12,509
♪ There'll be scary ghost stories... ♪
1391
01:15:12,592 --> 01:15:14,844
[Mary sobbing]
1392
01:15:14,928 --> 01:15:18,139
♪ Of Christmases long, long ago... ♪
1393
01:15:18,223 --> 01:15:19,224
Mary?
1394
01:15:20,767 --> 01:15:21,768
You all right?
1395
01:15:22,477 --> 01:15:24,646
[Mary] Just leave me alone.
1396
01:15:25,980 --> 01:15:27,607
You want me to take you home?
1397
01:15:27,691 --> 01:15:31,653
[whispers] Back off! Back off.
1398
01:15:31,736 --> 01:15:34,864
♪ ...mistietoeing
And hearts will be glowing... ♪
1399
01:15:34,948 --> 01:15:36,950
[song continues in distance]
1400
01:15:40,120 --> 01:15:41,121
[Mary sniffles]
1401
01:15:45,166 --> 01:15:47,377
He's gone.
1402
01:15:48,628 --> 01:15:49,754
[sobs]
1403
01:15:54,926 --> 01:15:56,970
[sighs]
1404
01:15:58,054 --> 01:15:59,180
[Hunham] I was right.
1405
01:15:59,264 --> 01:16:00,807
This is why I hate parties.
1406
01:16:00,890 --> 01:16:02,767
That was a disaster.
Total disaster.
1407
01:16:02,851 --> 01:16:05,019
[Tully] Speak for yourself.
I was having fun.
1408
01:16:05,103 --> 01:16:07,647
Let's take Mary home, make sure
she's okay, and we'll come back.
1409
01:16:07,731 --> 01:16:09,274
- Out of the question.
- Come on.
1410
01:16:09,357 --> 01:16:10,942
Would you give me a break?
1411
01:16:11,025 --> 01:16:12,610
I was hitting it off with Elise.
1412
01:16:12,694 --> 01:16:13,903
Oh. [chuckles] The niece?
1413
01:16:13,987 --> 01:16:15,113
Are you kidding me?
1414
01:16:15,196 --> 01:16:18,658
This poor woman is bereft, and all
you can think about is some silly girl.
1415
01:16:18,742 --> 01:16:20,660
- Unbelievable.
- I don't need you feeling sorry for me.
1416
01:16:20,744 --> 01:16:21,870
See?
1417
01:16:21,953 --> 01:16:23,997
I'm just saying,
this was the first good thing
1418
01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:26,332
that came with being
in this prison with you.
1419
01:16:26,416 --> 01:16:28,209
Need I remind you
1420
01:16:28,293 --> 01:16:30,545
that it is not my fault
that you are stuck here?
1421
01:16:30,628 --> 01:16:32,714
Do you think I want
to be babysitting you?
1422
01:16:32,797 --> 01:16:36,176
Oh, no, no, I was praying to
the god I don't even believe in
1423
01:16:36,259 --> 01:16:38,011
that your mother
would pick up the phone
1424
01:16:38,094 --> 01:16:41,639
or your father would arrive
in a helicopter or a submarine
1425
01:16:41,723 --> 01:16:43,767
or a flying fucking saucer
to take you...
1426
01:16:43,850 --> 01:16:46,186
My father's dead.
1427
01:16:46,269 --> 01:16:47,771
[stammering]
I thought your father...
1428
01:16:47,854 --> 01:16:51,065
That's just some rich guy
my mom married.
1429
01:16:51,149 --> 01:16:53,234
Give me your keys.
1430
01:16:53,318 --> 01:16:55,153
It's unlocked.
1431
01:17:00,784 --> 01:17:04,621
You don't tell a boy that's
been left behind at Christmas
1432
01:17:04,704 --> 01:17:06,831
that you're aching to cut him loose.
1433
01:17:06,915 --> 01:17:08,875
That nobody wants him.
1434
01:17:08,958 --> 01:17:11,586
What the fuck is wrong with you?
1435
01:17:11,669 --> 01:17:14,130
Let's go. I'm cold.
1436
01:17:17,675 --> 01:17:19,385
[grunts]
1437
01:17:25,558 --> 01:17:30,980
♪ O little town of Bethlehem ♪
1438
01:17:31,064 --> 01:17:35,652
♪ How still we see thee lie ♪
1439
01:17:36,986 --> 01:17:42,367
♪ Above thy deep and dreamless sleep ♪
1440
01:17:42,450 --> 01:17:48,039
♪ The silent stars go by ♪
1441
01:17:48,122 --> 01:17:53,503
♪ Yet in thy dark streets shineth ♪
1442
01:17:53,586 --> 01:17:57,006
♪ The everlasting light... ♪
1443
01:17:57,090 --> 01:17:58,967
[car door closes]
1444
01:17:59,050 --> 01:18:00,844
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
1445
01:18:00,927 --> 01:18:02,345
What can I do for you, chief?
1446
01:18:02,428 --> 01:18:03,805
I'm looking for a tree.
1447
01:18:03,888 --> 01:18:05,348
Well, you came to the right place.
1448
01:18:05,431 --> 01:18:08,309
Big fire sale
on all remaining inventory.
1449
01:18:10,979 --> 01:18:12,689
Mr. Tully.
1450
01:18:14,023 --> 01:18:15,775
Mr. Tully?
1451
01:18:17,735 --> 01:18:19,529
Mr. Tully.
1452
01:18:21,489 --> 01:18:23,825
Uh, Angus Tully!
1453
01:18:23,908 --> 01:18:25,910
- [radio playing]
- [DJ chattering]
1454
01:18:28,913 --> 01:18:30,164
- [sighs]
- [sizzling]
1455
01:18:30,248 --> 01:18:31,666
Good morning.
1456
01:18:31,749 --> 01:18:34,085
- Merry Christmas.
- Yeah. Merry Christmas, of course.
1457
01:18:34,168 --> 01:18:35,837
How are you?
1458
01:18:35,920 --> 01:18:38,089
Well, I've got a case
of the cocktail flu.
1459
01:18:38,172 --> 01:18:40,675
- Yeah. Have you seen the boy?
- Mm-mmm.
1460
01:18:40,758 --> 01:18:43,136
Goddamn it,
where the hell can he be?
1461
01:18:44,762 --> 01:18:46,681
Angus!
1462
01:18:48,600 --> 01:18:50,602
Mr. Tully?
1463
01:18:50,685 --> 01:18:52,812
[piano playing]
1464
01:18:52,896 --> 01:18:55,106
[panting]
1465
01:19:05,575 --> 01:19:07,994
- [door slams shut, rattles]
- [playing stops]
1466
01:19:09,913 --> 01:19:12,790
- [Hunham] Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
1467
01:19:12,874 --> 01:19:14,542
Where the hell have you been?
1468
01:19:14,626 --> 01:19:17,211
I don't know. Just here.
1469
01:19:17,295 --> 01:19:19,213
Come on. I have
something to show you.
1470
01:19:25,053 --> 01:19:26,930
No ornaments?
1471
01:19:29,891 --> 01:19:33,478
Oh, I'm sure we can round up
some ornaments somewhere.
1472
01:19:33,561 --> 01:19:36,272
Uh, now...
1473
01:19:36,356 --> 01:19:39,025
This is for you.
1474
01:19:39,692 --> 01:19:40,777
Huh.
1475
01:19:50,495 --> 01:19:53,581
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.
1476
01:19:53,665 --> 01:19:55,917
For my money,
it's like the Bible, the Koran
1477
01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:58,628
and the Bhagavad Gita
all rolled up into one.
1478
01:19:58,711 --> 01:20:01,381
And the best part is
not one mention of God.
1479
01:20:01,464 --> 01:20:03,591
- Hmm.
- [Tully] Okay.
1480
01:20:04,676 --> 01:20:05,969
Thanks.
1481
01:20:06,636 --> 01:20:09,305
And Mary.
1482
01:20:09,389 --> 01:20:11,766
This is for you.
1483
01:20:12,600 --> 01:20:14,185
Hmm.
1484
01:20:21,818 --> 01:20:23,736
So you just get this for everybody?
1485
01:20:23,820 --> 01:20:25,822
And...
1486
01:20:25,905 --> 01:20:27,699
- Mm-hmm.
- [Hunham chuckles]
1487
01:20:27,782 --> 01:20:29,701
- Now, how'd you guess?
- How indeed?
1488
01:20:29,784 --> 01:20:31,035
[chuckles]
1489
01:20:31,119 --> 01:20:33,079
Oh, and...
1490
01:20:33,162 --> 01:20:35,248
This came in the mail for you.
1491
01:21:05,445 --> 01:21:06,946
[Hunham sighs]
1492
01:21:07,030 --> 01:21:09,073
Thank you, Mary.
1493
01:21:09,157 --> 01:21:11,034
That was just lovely.
1494
01:21:11,117 --> 01:21:12,326
Oh.
1495
01:21:12,410 --> 01:21:14,412
Is that an actual compliment?
1496
01:21:14,495 --> 01:21:17,248
- Oh, come on.
- [Mary laughs]
1497
01:21:17,331 --> 01:21:21,836
You know, I don't think I've ever had
a real family Christmas like this before.
1498
01:21:22,920 --> 01:21:25,298
Christmas dinner, I mean, family-style.
1499
01:21:25,381 --> 01:21:28,134
Out of the oven and all the trimmings.
1500
01:21:28,217 --> 01:21:30,762
My mom always just orders in
from Delmonico's.
1501
01:21:30,845 --> 01:21:32,263
[Tully, Hunham chuckle]
1502
01:21:32,346 --> 01:21:34,432
[Mary] Well, she's got the right idea.
1503
01:21:34,515 --> 01:21:37,226
Next year,
I'm ordering in from Delmonico's.
1504
01:21:39,145 --> 01:21:42,607
Anyway, thank you, Mary.
1505
01:21:43,441 --> 01:21:44,567
You're welcome.
1506
01:21:44,650 --> 01:21:46,569
[Hunham]
I'd like to propose a toast.
1507
01:21:46,652 --> 01:21:51,282
To my two unlikely companions
on this snowy island
1508
01:21:51,365 --> 01:21:56,120
and to our absent friends
and family.
1509
01:21:58,206 --> 01:22:02,168
And I realize that none of us
is here because he wants to be.
1510
01:22:02,251 --> 01:22:05,254
So if there's any way
that I could make the holidays
1511
01:22:05,338 --> 01:22:08,007
a little cheerier for either one of you,
1512
01:22:08,091 --> 01:22:10,760
just say the word.
1513
01:22:11,761 --> 01:22:12,887
Okay.
1514
01:22:14,305 --> 01:22:16,015
I want to go to Boston.
1515
01:22:16,099 --> 01:22:17,683
Boston? Why?
1516
01:22:17,767 --> 01:22:19,477
Why not?
1517
01:22:19,560 --> 01:22:22,146
I want a real Christmas.
I want to go ice-skating.
1518
01:22:22,230 --> 01:22:25,233
I want to see a real Christmas tree with
real ornaments, not that stupid thing.
1519
01:22:25,316 --> 01:22:27,401
- You said it was nice.
- [Mary] It is nice.
1520
01:22:27,485 --> 01:22:29,320
Come on, let's get out of here.
1521
01:22:29,403 --> 01:22:31,114
I want a real holiday.
1522
01:22:31,197 --> 01:22:33,324
We're not going to Boston.
It's out of the question.
1523
01:22:33,407 --> 01:22:36,285
You told the boy "anything,"
so take the kid to Boston.
1524
01:22:36,369 --> 01:22:38,496
Mary, we're not allowed to leave campus
1525
01:22:38,579 --> 01:22:40,790
or the immediate environs.
1526
01:22:45,044 --> 01:22:46,420
[sighs]
1527
01:22:51,884 --> 01:22:53,010
[sighs heavily]
1528
01:22:53,094 --> 01:22:55,721
I suppose we could call it a field trip.
1529
01:22:56,806 --> 01:22:58,683
Ah, field trips would fall
under the ambit
1530
01:22:58,766 --> 01:23:01,185
of additional academic pursuits.
1531
01:23:01,269 --> 01:23:05,439
There's even a fund set aside
for additional academic pursuits, so...
1532
01:23:05,523 --> 01:23:07,441
Mm-hmm.
1533
01:23:09,152 --> 01:23:11,445
I'll go pack. [laughs]
1534
01:23:13,447 --> 01:23:15,283
I'm gonna need you to take me to Roxbury.
1535
01:23:15,366 --> 01:23:17,743
Mm-hmm. All right.
1536
01:23:41,475 --> 01:23:44,228
[no audible dialogue]
1537
01:24:13,758 --> 01:24:16,719
- [Mary sighs] Here we are.
- [Hunham] Hmm.
1538
01:24:16,802 --> 01:24:19,931
Boy, that's an awful lot of stairs.
1539
01:24:20,014 --> 01:24:23,100
- And probably icy too.
- Mmm.
1540
01:24:24,769 --> 01:24:25,978
Mr. Tully.
1541
01:24:27,063 --> 01:24:28,606
Right. Um...
1542
01:24:28,689 --> 01:24:30,816
Mary, can I help you with your bags?
1543
01:24:30,900 --> 01:24:32,777
[Mary] Yes, please.
1544
01:24:41,619 --> 01:24:42,787
- [Hunham] Hmm.
- [trunk closes]
1545
01:24:42,870 --> 01:24:44,497
Mmm.
1546
01:24:45,706 --> 01:24:47,875
- Hey, be careful with the box.
- Yeah.
1547
01:24:49,752 --> 01:24:52,380
You know, you're more than
welcome to a room at the hotel.
1548
01:24:52,463 --> 01:24:53,798
We've got the money.
1549
01:24:53,881 --> 01:24:55,591
Are you out of your mind?
1550
01:24:55,675 --> 01:24:58,177
I need a break from you two
and all your damn bickering.
1551
01:24:58,261 --> 01:25:00,846
Besides, I'm looking forward
to visiting my little sister.
1552
01:25:00,930 --> 01:25:02,265
She's pregnant.
1553
01:25:02,348 --> 01:25:03,683
Oh, that's wonderful.
1554
01:25:03,766 --> 01:25:04,934
- Yeah.
- Oh.
1555
01:25:06,978 --> 01:25:09,105
- Mr. Hunham. Mr. Hunham.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
1556
01:25:09,188 --> 01:25:10,523
My hands sweat.
1557
01:25:10,606 --> 01:25:12,358
It's hyperhidrosis. Sorry.
1558
01:25:12,441 --> 01:25:13,734
- Oh.
- [Tully] Hey, Mary!
1559
01:25:16,529 --> 01:25:18,030
One more flight up.
1560
01:25:19,115 --> 01:25:20,658
One more flight up.
1561
01:25:20,741 --> 01:25:22,076
Yep.
1562
01:25:22,159 --> 01:25:23,786
So, you two are going to be all right?
1563
01:25:23,869 --> 01:25:25,413
Yes, the little monster
will be well under control.
1564
01:25:25,496 --> 01:25:27,498
- [Peggy] Mary!
- Oh.
1565
01:25:28,582 --> 01:25:30,293
Hi!
1566
01:25:33,212 --> 01:25:35,214
- Bye.
- Bye.
1567
01:25:39,719 --> 01:25:41,053
Bye, Mary.
1568
01:25:41,137 --> 01:25:42,513
Uh-uh. Where are you going?
1569
01:25:42,596 --> 01:25:43,931
- I was...
- You're not done yet.
1570
01:25:44,015 --> 01:25:45,975
You have to help me up there.
1571
01:25:46,058 --> 01:25:48,394
- Yeah, sure thing.
- Come on.
1572
01:26:02,950 --> 01:26:05,661
[children chattering, laughing]
1573
01:26:16,297 --> 01:26:18,674
[drawer opens]
1574
01:26:27,558 --> 01:26:28,726
[chuckles]
1575
01:27:05,221 --> 01:27:08,224
[laughing, chattering]
1576
01:27:39,839 --> 01:27:42,842
[siren wailing in distance]
1577
01:27:48,472 --> 01:27:50,141
Hmm.
1578
01:27:54,353 --> 01:27:56,647
Hey there, handsome.
You got a cigarette?
1579
01:27:57,773 --> 01:28:00,109
Nope. Sorry, I smoke a pipe.
1580
01:28:01,902 --> 01:28:04,071
How about a date, then? You want a date?
1581
01:28:05,156 --> 01:28:06,407
[chuckles]
1582
01:28:06,490 --> 01:28:07,658
No, thank you.
1583
01:28:07,741 --> 01:28:09,160
- Oh, come on.
- Mm-mm-mm.
1584
01:28:09,243 --> 01:28:10,995
Let's go somewhere warm.
1585
01:28:11,078 --> 01:28:12,830
Go ahead.
1586
01:28:12,913 --> 01:28:15,082
- I can wait here.
- [prostitute] See?
1587
01:28:15,166 --> 01:28:18,002
He can wait here, read some books.
1588
01:28:18,085 --> 01:28:21,046
He doesn't mind if daddy gets
a little candy cane.
1589
01:28:21,130 --> 01:28:24,550
Thank you, but I never really
liked candy canes.
1590
01:28:24,633 --> 01:28:26,594
Plus, I'm prediabetic.
1591
01:28:34,393 --> 01:28:36,770
You know, if you do want
a little candy cane,
1592
01:28:36,854 --> 01:28:38,939
I won't tell anyone.
1593
01:28:39,023 --> 01:28:40,900
Mr. Tully, for most people,
1594
01:28:40,983 --> 01:28:44,945
sex is 99% friction
and 1 % goodwill.
1595
01:28:45,029 --> 01:28:48,157
Call me old-fashioned,
but I place value on physical intimacy.
1596
01:28:48,240 --> 01:28:50,326
So should you.
1597
01:28:50,409 --> 01:28:52,161
You've never had sex, have you?
1598
01:28:52,244 --> 01:28:53,996
[laughs]
1599
01:28:54,079 --> 01:28:56,123
Believe it or not, Mr. Tully,
there was a time
1600
01:28:56,207 --> 01:28:58,250
when the fire in my loins
burned white hot.
1601
01:28:58,334 --> 01:28:59,752
You're full of shit.
1602
01:28:59,835 --> 01:29:02,630
No, the details would curl your toes.
1603
01:29:02,713 --> 01:29:06,008
Okay, we're finally getting
to the good stuff. Let's hear.
1604
01:29:06,091 --> 01:29:08,177
Maybe when you're 18.
1605
01:29:08,260 --> 01:29:09,595
Curl your toes!
1606
01:29:21,815 --> 01:29:23,484
[Tully] Are we almost done?
1607
01:29:23,567 --> 01:29:25,653
[Hunham] What's your hurry?
I thought you liked antiquity.
1608
01:29:25,736 --> 01:29:27,279
[chuckles] In class, maybe,
1609
01:29:27,363 --> 01:29:29,365
but I never think about it
unless I need to.
1610
01:29:29,448 --> 01:29:31,534
Ah. Ah, well, here.
1611
01:29:32,660 --> 01:29:33,786
What do you see?
1612
01:29:35,329 --> 01:29:37,498
I don't know. A bunch of pottery.
1613
01:29:37,581 --> 01:29:40,543
Mmm. Look at that one.
1614
01:29:48,551 --> 01:29:50,135
- It's candy cane.
- [laughs] Yes.
1615
01:29:50,844 --> 01:29:53,347
There's nothing new
in human experience, Mr. Tully.
1616
01:29:54,348 --> 01:29:56,725
Each generation thinks
it invented debauchery
1617
01:29:56,809 --> 01:29:58,727
or suffering or rebellion,
1618
01:29:58,811 --> 01:30:04,024
but man's every impulse and appetite
from the disgusting to the sublime
1619
01:30:04,108 --> 01:30:08,112
is on display right here all around you.
1620
01:30:08,195 --> 01:30:11,865
So, before you dismiss something
as boring or irrelevant, remember,
1621
01:30:11,949 --> 01:30:15,369
if you truly want to understand
the present or yourself,
1622
01:30:15,452 --> 01:30:18,372
you must begin in the past.
1623
01:30:18,455 --> 01:30:21,166
You see, history is not simply
the study of the past.
1624
01:30:21,250 --> 01:30:24,169
It is an explanation of the present.
1625
01:30:26,630 --> 01:30:29,925
See, when you say it that way
and throw in some pornography,
1626
01:30:30,009 --> 01:30:31,927
it's a lot easier to understand.
1627
01:30:32,011 --> 01:30:33,887
[chuckles] Okay.
1628
01:30:33,971 --> 01:30:37,349
You should try doing more of
that in class and less yelling.
1629
01:30:37,433 --> 01:30:40,185
You know, most of the kids dislike you.
Pretty much hate you.
1630
01:30:41,145 --> 01:30:43,272
Teachers too.
1631
01:30:43,355 --> 01:30:45,065
You know that, right?
1632
01:30:45,149 --> 01:30:47,818
["The Wind" playing]
1633
01:30:47,901 --> 01:30:49,445
[chuckles softly]
1634
01:30:55,701 --> 01:31:00,331
♪ I listen to the wind
To the wind of my soul ♪
1635
01:31:03,959 --> 01:31:08,839
♪ Where I'll end up
Well, I think only God really knows ♪
1636
01:31:12,843 --> 01:31:16,263
♪ I've sat upon the setting sun ♪
1637
01:31:16,847 --> 01:31:21,518
♪ But never, never, never, never ♪
1638
01:31:21,602 --> 01:31:25,522
♪ I never wanted water once ♪
1639
01:31:25,606 --> 01:31:28,942
♪ No, never, never, never ♪
1640
01:31:32,905 --> 01:31:36,784
♪ I never wanted water once ♪
1641
01:31:36,867 --> 01:31:39,995
♪ No, never, never, never ♪
1642
01:31:43,082 --> 01:31:45,084
[chattering]
1643
01:31:46,669 --> 01:31:49,004
[person] Paul Hunham!
Is that you?
1644
01:31:51,298 --> 01:31:52,925
It's Hugh.
1645
01:31:53,008 --> 01:31:54,009
Hugh Cavanaugh.
1646
01:31:55,594 --> 01:31:58,180
Ah, yes. Of course.
1647
01:31:58,263 --> 01:31:59,973
Wow. Hugh Cavanaugh.
1648
01:32:00,057 --> 01:32:01,558
Wow.
1649
01:32:01,642 --> 01:32:03,644
Oh, how are you, Hugh?
1650
01:32:03,727 --> 01:32:06,814
Oh, God, what's it been, 30 years? Um...
1651
01:32:06,897 --> 01:32:09,233
Um, this... this is, uh,
this is my wife Karen.
1652
01:32:09,316 --> 01:32:12,111
Honey, this is Paul Hunham.
1653
01:32:12,194 --> 01:32:14,488
- We went to Harvard together.
- Hi, Paul.
1654
01:32:14,571 --> 01:32:16,657
Yes, we did. Yes, we did.
1655
01:32:16,740 --> 01:32:19,910
Uh, wow. Uh, what have you
been up to, Hugh?
1656
01:32:19,993 --> 01:32:21,995
- Uh, still in the area?
- [Hugh] Oh, yes. Yes.
1657
01:32:22,079 --> 01:32:23,872
I-I'm still in Boston. Cambridge.
1658
01:32:23,956 --> 01:32:25,374
- Harvard.
- Well...
1659
01:32:25,457 --> 01:32:26,917
He just got tenure. Statistics.
1660
01:32:27,000 --> 01:32:29,044
- Oh, Karen.
- He won't blow his own horn.
1661
01:32:29,128 --> 01:32:32,673
- I have to blow it for him.
- Okay. Well, uh, what about you, Paul?
1662
01:32:32,756 --> 01:32:34,341
Oh, still teaching.
We have that in common.
1663
01:32:34,425 --> 01:32:36,093
Uh, history, ancient history.
1664
01:32:36,176 --> 01:32:37,261
- That's great.
- [Hunham] Yes.
1665
01:32:37,344 --> 01:32:38,512
That's great. Where?
1666
01:32:38,595 --> 01:32:41,223
Oh, um, abroad, mostly.
1667
01:32:41,306 --> 01:32:43,851
On fellowships,
privately funded fellowships.
1668
01:32:43,934 --> 01:32:45,686
Universities
and private academies.
1669
01:32:45,769 --> 01:32:47,563
Mostly fellowships, you know.
1670
01:32:47,646 --> 01:32:50,232
I'm currently posted in, um,
Antwerp.
1671
01:32:50,315 --> 01:32:52,776
Uh, just back here for the holidays.
1672
01:32:52,860 --> 01:32:54,820
Ah. So, uh, is this your son?
1673
01:32:54,903 --> 01:32:57,948
- Well, um...
- I'm his nephew, Leonard.
1674
01:32:58,031 --> 01:32:59,533
[Karen] Nice to meet you,
Leonard.
1675
01:33:00,117 --> 01:33:01,493
And he's writing a book right now.
1676
01:33:01,577 --> 01:33:03,120
Um, tell him about your book,
Uncle Paul.
1677
01:33:03,203 --> 01:33:04,788
[chuckles] My book.
1678
01:33:04,872 --> 01:33:06,457
It's not a book, really.
1679
01:33:06,540 --> 01:33:08,041
Uh, more of a monograph.
1680
01:33:08,125 --> 01:33:10,169
- It's nothing special.
- Don't be so modest.
1681
01:33:10,252 --> 01:33:12,713
It's about, uh, cameras, right?
Ancient cameras?
1682
01:33:12,796 --> 01:33:14,423
- Oh.
- [Hunham] Yes.
1683
01:33:14,506 --> 01:33:17,134
No, what he means, of course,
is the camera obscura.
1684
01:33:17,217 --> 01:33:19,678
You know, the optical
and astronomical tool
1685
01:33:19,762 --> 01:33:22,514
that dates back to the time
of, um, Anaxagoras.
1686
01:33:22,598 --> 01:33:24,183
Tell him the title, Uncle Paul.
1687
01:33:24,266 --> 01:33:25,768
He's not interested, Leonard.
1688
01:33:25,851 --> 01:33:27,936
Sure, I am.
1689
01:33:28,020 --> 01:33:29,813
[sighs]
1690
01:33:29,897 --> 01:33:34,526
Light and Magic
in the Ancient World
1691
01:33:36,737 --> 01:33:39,239
Okay, well, um...
1692
01:33:39,323 --> 01:33:41,909
Paul, I'm just so glad
you landed on your feet.
1693
01:33:42,993 --> 01:33:46,246
- You look swell.
- You too. So swell.
1694
01:33:47,873 --> 01:33:50,125
And, uh, we'll keep an eye out
for your book.
1695
01:33:50,209 --> 01:33:51,543
- Won't we, honey?
- Yeah.
1696
01:33:51,627 --> 01:33:53,003
- Merry Christmas, Paul.
- Merry Christmas.
1697
01:33:53,086 --> 01:33:55,088
- Bye, Leonard.
- Merry Christmas.
1698
01:33:57,508 --> 01:33:59,426
What the fuck just happened?
1699
01:33:59,510 --> 01:34:02,554
I thought Barton men don't lie.
1700
01:34:02,638 --> 01:34:05,808
Don't get me wrong, that was fun,
but you just lied through your teeth.
1701
01:34:05,891 --> 01:34:09,436
What I say during a private conversation
is none of your goddamn business.
1702
01:34:09,520 --> 01:34:11,104
You are not to judge me.
1703
01:34:11,188 --> 01:34:12,856
It wasn't a private conversation.
1704
01:34:12,940 --> 01:34:14,399
- The wife and I were there.
- [groans]
1705
01:34:14,483 --> 01:34:15,984
- And I helped you.
- [Hunham laughs]
1706
01:34:16,068 --> 01:34:17,820
Why did he ask
if you landed on your feet?
1707
01:34:17,903 --> 01:34:19,988
What is this, Nuremberg? Jesus.
1708
01:34:20,072 --> 01:34:22,741
You're the hard-ass constantly
telling everybody not to lie
1709
01:34:22,825 --> 01:34:25,035
and going on and on
about the honor code.
1710
01:34:26,829 --> 01:34:28,789
There was an incident
when I was at Harvard
1711
01:34:28,872 --> 01:34:30,374
with my roommate.
1712
01:34:31,708 --> 01:34:33,043
And?
1713
01:34:33,126 --> 01:34:35,587
He accused me of copying
from his senior thesis.
1714
01:34:35,671 --> 01:34:36,839
Plagiarizing.
1715
01:34:36,922 --> 01:34:38,257
Ah.
1716
01:34:38,340 --> 01:34:41,927
- Well, did you?
- No, he stole from me.
1717
01:34:42,678 --> 01:34:45,430
But that blue-blooded prick's family
had allies on the faculty.
1718
01:34:45,514 --> 01:34:47,558
I mean, their last name
is on a library, for Christ's sake.
1719
01:34:47,641 --> 01:34:50,853
So he accused me in order
to sanitize his treachery
1720
01:34:50,936 --> 01:34:53,063
and, uh, they threw me out.
1721
01:34:54,147 --> 01:34:56,441
Wait, so you got kicked out
of Harvard for cheating?
1722
01:34:56,525 --> 01:34:58,569
No, I got kicked out of Harvard
for hitting him.
1723
01:34:58,652 --> 01:35:00,028
- [Hunham chuckles]
- You hit him?
1724
01:35:00,112 --> 01:35:01,280
What, like punched him out?
1725
01:35:01,363 --> 01:35:03,615
No, I hit him with a car. Ah.
1726
01:35:03,699 --> 01:35:06,660
You got kicked out of Harvard
for hitting a guy with a car?
1727
01:35:06,743 --> 01:35:08,078
By accident.
1728
01:35:08,161 --> 01:35:10,122
Pint of Jim Beam, please.
1729
01:35:10,205 --> 01:35:13,208
But he broke three ribs,
which was technically his fault
1730
01:35:13,292 --> 01:35:14,835
because he shouldn't have
been in the road.
1731
01:35:14,918 --> 01:35:16,545
[cashier] Two dollars, please.
1732
01:35:16,628 --> 01:35:18,589
- Also, he shat himself...
- [cash register bell dings]
1733
01:35:18,672 --> 01:35:22,092
...which was the greater indignity.
[laughs]
1734
01:35:23,176 --> 01:35:24,511
Here you go, killer.
1735
01:35:25,596 --> 01:35:27,514
[cash register drawer closes]
1736
01:35:27,598 --> 01:35:29,892
[Tully] So Mr. Hunham
never even graduated college?
1737
01:35:29,975 --> 01:35:31,602
- [Hunham] Mmm.
- Holy shit.
1738
01:35:31,685 --> 01:35:33,395
You didn't finish up somewhere else?
Who else knows?
1739
01:35:33,478 --> 01:35:37,816
Well, Dr. Greene knew.
Only Dr. Greene.
1740
01:35:37,900 --> 01:35:40,736
He always believed in me,
so he gave me a job.
1741
01:35:40,819 --> 01:35:45,032
Adjunct faculty,
zero respect and even less pay.
1742
01:35:45,115 --> 01:35:48,410
So nobody batted an eye,
and I've been at the school ever since.
1743
01:35:48,493 --> 01:35:50,245
Are you ashamed
at how things turned out?
1744
01:35:50,329 --> 01:35:53,206
Not at all. No, I'm proud of my work.
1745
01:35:53,290 --> 01:35:55,459
I love history. I love Barton.
1746
01:35:56,126 --> 01:35:59,046
Barton is my life. I don't know what
I would do without Barton.
1747
01:35:59,129 --> 01:36:00,797
Why'd you lie to that guy?
1748
01:36:00,881 --> 01:36:03,175
Because I knew he'd relish
the fact that I'm a washout
1749
01:36:03,258 --> 01:36:05,010
and never left my own high school,
1750
01:36:05,093 --> 01:36:08,513
and he'd probably repeat that story
to everybody we used to know,
1751
01:36:08,597 --> 01:36:11,683
so I figured he's not entitled
to my story.
1752
01:36:11,767 --> 01:36:13,101
I am.
1753
01:36:13,185 --> 01:36:15,020
Yeah. Yeah, fuck that guy.
1754
01:36:15,103 --> 01:36:18,106
Yeah, exactly. Fuck that guy.
1755
01:36:18,190 --> 01:36:20,651
"Statistics." [scoffs]
1756
01:36:20,734 --> 01:36:23,612
But, now, you'll keep this quiet, right?
1757
01:36:23,695 --> 01:36:25,447
No one is to know.
1758
01:36:25,530 --> 01:36:28,200
I mean no one, Angus.
1759
01:36:28,283 --> 01:36:31,286
Entre nous, sir.
Entre nous.
1760
01:36:32,704 --> 01:36:35,916
"Ancient cameras." Where the hell did
you come up with that? [laughs]
1761
01:36:35,999 --> 01:36:38,168
[Tully] Just trying to keep you
on your toes, sir.
1762
01:36:47,761 --> 01:36:48,804
Get up, kid.
1763
01:36:49,930 --> 01:36:51,932
It's daylight in the swamp.
1764
01:36:53,934 --> 01:36:55,769
I ordered breakfast.
1765
01:36:57,104 --> 01:36:59,398
Great. [sighs]
1766
01:37:10,659 --> 01:37:12,953
Oh, you dropped something.
1767
01:37:13,036 --> 01:37:14,997
[grunts]
1768
01:37:15,080 --> 01:37:17,207
Uh, those are my vitamins.
1769
01:37:17,290 --> 01:37:19,001
Librium.
1770
01:37:19,084 --> 01:37:20,877
Yeah, it's just, uh,
1771
01:37:20,961 --> 01:37:23,130
something I'm supposed
to take for low energy.
1772
01:37:23,213 --> 01:37:24,423
You mean depression?
1773
01:37:26,633 --> 01:37:27,843
Is that rye toast?
1774
01:37:27,926 --> 01:37:30,303
How'd you know I like
rye toast?
1775
01:37:41,648 --> 01:37:42,816
[sighs]
1776
01:37:57,122 --> 01:38:00,125
[chattering]
1777
01:38:04,337 --> 01:38:07,007
All right. This way.
1778
01:38:38,246 --> 01:38:39,831
[pins clatter]
1779
01:38:46,797 --> 01:38:47,881
[chuckles]
1780
01:38:49,341 --> 01:38:50,550
Let go lightly.
1781
01:38:50,634 --> 01:38:51,968
- Ah.
- You're too rigid.
1782
01:38:58,600 --> 01:39:00,185
[pins clatter]
1783
01:39:00,811 --> 01:39:02,771
- See? You're welcome.
- [Hunham laughs]
1784
01:39:02,854 --> 01:39:05,649
That's not bad.
You're a pretty good teacher, kid.
1785
01:39:05,732 --> 01:39:09,236
Too bad everybody dislikes you.
Pretty much hates you.
1786
01:39:09,319 --> 01:39:11,780
But you must know that,
right?
1787
01:39:12,864 --> 01:39:15,242
Touché, sir. Touché.
1788
01:39:18,954 --> 01:39:20,705
- By the way...
- Yeah?
1789
01:39:20,789 --> 01:39:22,874
...what eye do you aim with, anyway?
1790
01:39:22,958 --> 01:39:24,251
Ah.
1791
01:39:24,334 --> 01:39:26,128
You know, I've been meaning to ask.
1792
01:39:26,211 --> 01:39:27,963
When we're talking,
which one should I look at?
1793
01:39:28,046 --> 01:39:29,881
Sometimes I look at one,
1794
01:39:29,965 --> 01:39:32,425
but then I think I'm wrong,
so I look at the other.
1795
01:39:32,509 --> 01:39:34,594
Yes, everybody does that.
1796
01:39:34,678 --> 01:39:36,388
So, which eye is it?
1797
01:39:36,471 --> 01:39:38,098
[chuckles]
1798
01:39:39,766 --> 01:39:42,769
[chattering]
1799
01:39:54,990 --> 01:39:57,284
[scoffs]
People don't understand.
1800
01:39:57,367 --> 01:39:59,202
This isn't tenpin.
1801
01:39:59,286 --> 01:40:01,037
No, this is much harder.
1802
01:40:01,121 --> 01:40:04,166
All these tenpin assholes
coming in here like they're slumming it.
1803
01:40:04,249 --> 01:40:05,542
- The hell with them.
- [grunts]
1804
01:40:05,625 --> 01:40:07,169
Yeah. Fuck 'em.
1805
01:40:10,046 --> 01:40:11,339
Excuse me.
1806
01:40:12,090 --> 01:40:14,176
Here's something I bet you didn't know.
1807
01:40:14,259 --> 01:40:19,181
Your uniform, festive as it is,
is historically inaccurate.
1808
01:40:19,264 --> 01:40:22,392
Saint Nicholas of Myra was actually
1809
01:40:22,475 --> 01:40:25,437
a fourth-century Greek Bishop
from what is now Turkey.
1810
01:40:25,520 --> 01:40:28,940
So, uh, a robe and sandals
would be closer to the mark.
1811
01:40:29,024 --> 01:40:32,068
Yeah, but I guess that would be
impractical given the weather
1812
01:40:32,152 --> 01:40:34,613
and all the silly but lucrative
mythology about Santa
1813
01:40:34,696 --> 01:40:38,158
and elves and reindeer
and chimneys and whatnot.
1814
01:40:38,241 --> 01:40:40,619
[chuckles] What can you do?
1815
01:40:40,702 --> 01:40:43,705
As Democritus said... [speaking Greek]
1816
01:40:47,000 --> 01:40:51,004
"World is decay. Life is perception."
1817
01:40:58,094 --> 01:40:59,304
My son.
1818
01:41:00,096 --> 01:41:03,642
To see you again causes
my heart to soar like a hawk.
1819
01:41:03,725 --> 01:41:08,271
Grandfather,
I brought you this present.
1820
01:41:08,355 --> 01:41:10,690
Is this the hat I used to own?
1821
01:41:10,774 --> 01:41:13,235
- [chuckles]
- Except grown softer...
1822
01:41:13,318 --> 01:41:15,237
You know,
this is not only amusing,
1823
01:41:15,320 --> 01:41:17,405
uh, but for a movie,
it's a fairly accurate depiction
1824
01:41:17,489 --> 01:41:19,074
of life among the Cheyenne.
1825
01:41:19,157 --> 01:41:21,243
- Shh!
- Fuck off.
1826
01:41:21,326 --> 01:41:23,370
[Old Lodge Skins] I saw you in a dream.
1827
01:41:23,453 --> 01:41:24,996
- I'm gonna go use the bathroom.
- Mm-hmm.
1828
01:41:25,080 --> 01:41:29,334
You were drinking from a spring that
came from the long nose of an animal.
1829
01:41:29,417 --> 01:41:33,380
I did not recognize the animal.
1830
01:41:33,463 --> 01:41:37,425
Alongside his nose, he grew two horns.
1831
01:41:37,509 --> 01:41:39,511
[movie continues indistinctly]
1832
01:41:51,523 --> 01:41:53,817
...and smoked on this matter,
1833
01:41:53,900 --> 01:41:56,403
and my decision is...
1834
01:41:56,486 --> 01:41:58,613
Little Big Man has returned.
1835
01:41:58,697 --> 01:42:01,700
[cheering, whooping on screen]
1836
01:42:11,668 --> 01:42:13,878
Hey! Hey!
1837
01:42:15,797 --> 01:42:17,382
No! Out!
1838
01:42:20,093 --> 01:42:22,012
- Get out.
- I just need to do something.
1839
01:42:22,095 --> 01:42:24,180
I was going to come back.
Or meet you at the hotel.
1840
01:42:24,264 --> 01:42:25,932
It won't take long. It's nothing bad.
1841
01:42:26,016 --> 01:42:28,935
Just get out, you conniving little shit.
1842
01:42:29,853 --> 01:42:30,854
[sighs]
1843
01:42:32,105 --> 01:42:34,357
Were you planning this
the whole time?
1844
01:42:34,441 --> 01:42:37,027
Just counting the minutes
until I turned my back?
1845
01:42:37,110 --> 01:42:38,945
I wasn't running away.
1846
01:42:39,029 --> 01:42:42,407
There's just something I need to do
before we go back to school. Please.
1847
01:42:42,490 --> 01:42:44,951
You could come with me.
Just come with me, okay?
1848
01:42:45,035 --> 01:42:46,411
Come with you where?
1849
01:42:48,371 --> 01:42:49,581
To see my dad.
1850
01:42:52,000 --> 01:42:53,126
Your dad?
1851
01:42:54,127 --> 01:42:55,503
[sighs]
1852
01:42:55,587 --> 01:42:57,130
That's what this is about?
1853
01:42:57,213 --> 01:42:59,799
Why didn't you just ask me?
1854
01:42:59,883 --> 01:43:03,053
Because of course
we can visit a cemetery.
1855
01:43:28,495 --> 01:43:30,580
Excuse me. Hi.
1856
01:43:47,013 --> 01:43:48,848
Right in here.
1857
01:44:03,655 --> 01:44:04,656
[orderly] Over here.
1858
01:44:07,784 --> 01:44:09,786
Look who's here to see you.
1859
01:44:14,833 --> 01:44:15,834
Hi, Dad.
1860
01:44:17,377 --> 01:44:19,379
[singsongy] Hello, sweetheart.
1861
01:44:39,149 --> 01:44:41,609
You want to go sit down
for a little?
1862
01:44:43,903 --> 01:44:46,656
Oh. Come on.
1863
01:44:46,739 --> 01:44:48,741
Be seated right here.
1864
01:44:53,246 --> 01:44:55,582
There you go. All right.
1865
01:45:06,801 --> 01:45:07,844
I missed you.
1866
01:45:09,554 --> 01:45:11,431
I've missed you a lot.
1867
01:45:12,182 --> 01:45:14,058
A whole lot.
1868
01:45:16,895 --> 01:45:19,147
You know, I'm still at school.
1869
01:45:20,231 --> 01:45:21,608
At Barton.
1870
01:45:21,691 --> 01:45:25,570
And it's, uh, it's Christmastime now,
so I thought you might like a visit.
1871
01:45:28,364 --> 01:45:29,991
Guess what. I'm...
1872
01:45:30,074 --> 01:45:32,577
I'm actually keeping
my grades up.
1873
01:45:32,660 --> 01:45:36,164
I-I consistently get the highest grades
in the class in ancient civ.
1874
01:45:36,247 --> 01:45:39,667
I'm... I'm pretty much
third or fourth in precalc.
1875
01:45:43,087 --> 01:45:45,423
And I'm in the chess club too.
1876
01:45:46,841 --> 01:45:48,593
But I don't really like
the other kids.
1877
01:45:48,676 --> 01:45:50,053
[chuckles]
1878
01:45:51,387 --> 01:45:54,432
And in the spring,
I think I want to try tennis.
1879
01:45:54,516 --> 01:45:56,100
Just JV,
and probably only doubles,
1880
01:45:56,184 --> 01:45:58,937
if the coach could just forget
about my, uh...
1881
01:46:00,271 --> 01:46:02,273
Anyway, it's not important.
1882
01:46:10,740 --> 01:46:11,574
Listen.
1883
01:46:18,748 --> 01:46:21,584
I, uh... I have to tell you something.
1884
01:46:26,089 --> 01:46:28,841
I think they're putting
something in my food.
1885
01:47:03,334 --> 01:47:05,753
He used to be fine.
1886
01:47:05,837 --> 01:47:08,298
He was better than fine.
1887
01:47:08,381 --> 01:47:10,133
He was great.
1888
01:47:11,551 --> 01:47:13,678
[voice breaking] He was my dad.
1889
01:47:16,014 --> 01:47:20,727
Then about four years ago,
he started acting strange.
1890
01:47:22,145 --> 01:47:24,856
Erratic, forgetful,
saying all this weird shit.
1891
01:47:27,442 --> 01:47:30,486
My mom took him
to a bunch of doctors,
1892
01:47:30,570 --> 01:47:32,113
and they put him on medication.
1893
01:47:32,196 --> 01:47:36,659
But that just made it worse.
He got more confused.
1894
01:47:39,329 --> 01:47:41,205
Then he got angry.
1895
01:47:43,708 --> 01:47:44,709
And then he got...
1896
01:47:46,669 --> 01:47:47,670
physical.
1897
01:47:50,381 --> 01:47:53,843
That was it. That was the last straw.
They put him away.
1898
01:47:55,428 --> 01:47:56,929
And she divorced him...
1899
01:47:59,057 --> 01:48:01,017
without him even realizing it.
1900
01:48:02,727 --> 01:48:05,021
That's why she wants a whole new life.
1901
01:48:06,648 --> 01:48:08,900
And it's easy to just stash me away
in boarding school.
1902
01:48:08,983 --> 01:48:11,569
Like half of us
are just stashed away there.
1903
01:48:14,197 --> 01:48:15,990
And I get it.
1904
01:48:17,909 --> 01:48:20,036
She never has to look at me.
1905
01:48:22,121 --> 01:48:25,208
Because maybe when
she looks at me, she...
1906
01:48:25,291 --> 01:48:28,503
- she sees him.
- No, no, no, no, no.
1907
01:48:28,586 --> 01:48:32,256
That can't be true.
She... You're her son.
1908
01:48:32,340 --> 01:48:34,676
Maybe she's right.
1909
01:48:34,759 --> 01:48:36,678
I can't keep it together.
1910
01:48:36,761 --> 01:48:38,930
I lie. I steal.
1911
01:48:40,306 --> 01:48:42,266
I piss people off.
1912
01:48:43,601 --> 01:48:45,144
I don't have any friends,
real friends.
1913
01:48:45,228 --> 01:48:46,771
I'll probably get kicked out
of Barton too.
1914
01:48:46,854 --> 01:48:49,065
And when I do, it'll be my own fault.
1915
01:48:50,692 --> 01:48:54,946
Get sent to Fork Union
and maybe to you-know-where.
1916
01:48:56,864 --> 01:48:58,991
And nobody will care.
1917
01:49:02,495 --> 01:49:04,497
The funny thing is...
1918
01:49:06,749 --> 01:49:09,711
I wanted to see him so bad
this whole time.
1919
01:49:16,384 --> 01:49:18,428
But I also didn't, you know?
1920
01:49:21,514 --> 01:49:24,350
Because I'm afraid that's what's
going to happen to me one day.
1921
01:49:24,434 --> 01:49:26,018
No, Angus, Angus.
1922
01:49:26,102 --> 01:49:27,812
Angus, listen.
1923
01:49:27,895 --> 01:49:30,064
You're not your father.
1924
01:49:31,274 --> 01:49:32,817
How do you know?
1925
01:49:32,900 --> 01:49:35,486
Because no one is
his own father.
1926
01:49:35,570 --> 01:49:37,238
I'm not my dad,
1927
01:49:37,321 --> 01:49:40,241
no matter how hard he tried
to beat that idea into me.
1928
01:49:46,330 --> 01:49:50,084
I find the world
a bitter and complicated place,
1929
01:49:50,168 --> 01:49:53,171
and it seems to feel
the same way about me.
1930
01:49:53,254 --> 01:49:55,506
I think you and I
have this in common.
1931
01:49:56,966 --> 01:49:59,844
But don't get me wrong,
you have your challenges.
1932
01:49:59,927 --> 01:50:03,473
You're erratic and belligerent
and a gigantic pain in the balls,
1933
01:50:03,556 --> 01:50:05,433
but you're not your father.
1934
01:50:05,516 --> 01:50:07,935
You're your own man.
1935
01:50:10,354 --> 01:50:12,440
Man, no. You're just a kid.
1936
01:50:12,523 --> 01:50:14,192
You're just beginning.
1937
01:50:14,275 --> 01:50:16,235
And you're smart.
1938
01:50:17,445 --> 01:50:20,323
You've got time
to turn things around.
1939
01:50:22,241 --> 01:50:24,327
Yes, I know
the Greeks had the idea
1940
01:50:24,410 --> 01:50:26,746
that, uh, the steps you take
to avoid your fate
1941
01:50:26,829 --> 01:50:30,666
are the very steps that lead you to it,
but that's just a literary conceit.
1942
01:50:30,750 --> 01:50:35,171
In real life, your history does not
have to dictate your destiny...
1943
01:50:35,254 --> 01:50:37,465
Oh. There's Mary.
1944
01:50:37,548 --> 01:50:39,717
Can you not tell Mary or anybody? Uh...
1945
01:50:39,801 --> 01:50:42,845
Entre nous. This whole
goddamned trip is entre nous.
1946
01:50:42,929 --> 01:50:44,722
- Stand up.
- What?
1947
01:50:45,848 --> 01:50:47,725
Stand up for the lady, you boor.
1948
01:50:47,809 --> 01:50:49,018
Cretin.
1949
01:50:49,894 --> 01:50:53,231
[piano playing classical music]
1950
01:50:53,314 --> 01:50:54,899
- [Tully] Mary.
- [Hunham] Well, hello.
1951
01:50:54,982 --> 01:50:56,943
Hi. Sorry I'm late.
1952
01:50:57,026 --> 01:50:58,653
[Hunham] Oh, we're just happy
to see you.
1953
01:50:58,736 --> 01:51:00,321
- [Mary chuckles]
- [Hunham grunts]
1954
01:51:00,404 --> 01:51:01,739
Madame, the menu.
1955
01:51:01,823 --> 01:51:03,699
[Mary] Oh. Thank you.
1956
01:51:03,783 --> 01:51:06,744
Hello, ma'am. Would you like
a cocktail to start?
1957
01:51:06,828 --> 01:51:08,412
Oh, no,
I'll just take a cup of tea.
1958
01:51:08,496 --> 01:51:09,747
Oh, come on. Have a cocktail.
1959
01:51:09,831 --> 01:51:13,000
No, no, no. A cup of tea is fine.
I've eaten already.
1960
01:51:13,084 --> 01:51:15,795
And you, gentlemen,
did you save room for dessert?
1961
01:51:15,878 --> 01:51:18,339
- [Hunham] Hmm.
- Hey, what's that?
1962
01:51:18,422 --> 01:51:20,216
[waiter] That's our signature dessert.
1963
01:51:20,299 --> 01:51:21,759
- Cherries jubilee.
- [Hunham] Mmm.
1964
01:51:21,843 --> 01:51:23,469
- That sounds great.
- [Hunham chuckles]
1965
01:51:23,553 --> 01:51:25,972
Bring the young vandal here
cherries jubilee.
1966
01:51:26,597 --> 01:51:27,849
I'm afraid I can't.
1967
01:51:27,932 --> 01:51:29,809
The dish contains brandy.
1968
01:51:29,892 --> 01:51:32,186
Same deal with the bananas Foster.
1969
01:51:32,270 --> 01:51:34,438
Yeah, but doesn't the alcohol
just burn off?
1970
01:51:34,522 --> 01:51:36,065
[waiter] It's still
against the rules, ma'am.
1971
01:51:36,148 --> 01:51:37,149
- Fine.
- Oh.
1972
01:51:37,233 --> 01:51:39,694
I'll order the cherries jubilee.
We can share it.
1973
01:51:39,777 --> 01:51:42,196
Mmm. I can't allow that, either.
1974
01:51:43,155 --> 01:51:44,615
Can we say it's his birthday?
1975
01:51:44,699 --> 01:51:46,117
It's my birthday.
1976
01:51:46,200 --> 01:51:48,160
Well, happy birthday, young man.
1977
01:51:48,744 --> 01:51:52,164
Let's get you a slice of cake
or some other age-appropriate dessert.
1978
01:51:52,248 --> 01:51:53,666
Christ on a crutch.
1979
01:51:53,749 --> 01:51:56,919
What kind of a fascist hash foundry
are you running here?
1980
01:51:59,839 --> 01:52:02,008
Uh, excuse me, ma'am. Do you,
by chance, have cherries?
1981
01:52:04,260 --> 01:52:05,094
Yes.
1982
01:52:05,761 --> 01:52:07,513
Great.
And do you have ice cream?
1983
01:52:07,597 --> 01:52:09,682
- Yes.
- [Mary] Fantastic.
1984
01:52:09,765 --> 01:52:13,519
Can we please get cherries
and ice cream to go?
1985
01:52:13,603 --> 01:52:14,729
And the check.
1986
01:52:14,812 --> 01:52:16,772
Right away.
1987
01:52:17,857 --> 01:52:19,775
- Bitch.
- Mmm.
1988
01:52:25,072 --> 01:52:27,491
[Hunham] And a little James Beam.
1989
01:52:28,242 --> 01:52:29,702
All right. Go ahead.
1990
01:52:31,996 --> 01:52:34,415
Ooh. [laughs]
1991
01:52:34,498 --> 01:52:36,042
Presto. Cherries jubilee.
1992
01:52:36,125 --> 01:52:37,752
[laughter]
1993
01:52:37,835 --> 01:52:39,378
Ooh.
1994
01:52:39,462 --> 01:52:41,547
- Shouldn't it just go out?
- Okay.
1995
01:52:41,631 --> 01:52:43,966
- [laughs]
- Oh, shit. Shit.
1996
01:52:44,050 --> 01:52:46,218
- How much alcohol did you put on there?
- Oh!
1997
01:52:46,302 --> 01:52:47,887
It's hot. It's very hot.
1998
01:52:47,970 --> 01:52:49,430
- Oh!
- [Mary squeals]
1999
01:52:49,513 --> 01:52:51,474
[laughter]
2000
01:53:17,875 --> 01:53:20,753
[TV presenter] But now just listen
to them. They see the ball and...
2001
01:53:20,836 --> 01:53:22,630
[Mary] Man, I sure do wish
we had some noisemakers.
2002
01:53:22,713 --> 01:53:23,756
[Hunham] Mm-hmm.
2003
01:53:25,091 --> 01:53:27,385
I've got a noisemaker.
2004
01:53:27,468 --> 01:53:29,178
Where the hell did you get that?
2005
01:53:29,261 --> 01:53:31,055
I don't know. Found it.
2006
01:53:31,138 --> 01:53:33,474
Well, you're not
deploying that in here.
2007
01:53:33,557 --> 01:53:35,309
You know, you weren't
this uptight in Boston.
2008
01:53:35,393 --> 01:53:36,811
- [Mary] Oh.
- [Hunham chuckles]
2009
01:53:36,894 --> 01:53:38,437
Danny, where do you stand
on indoor fireworks?
2010
01:53:38,521 --> 01:53:39,981
About as far away as I can.
2011
01:53:40,064 --> 01:53:41,482
- That's very wise.
- [TV presenter] Ten, nine...
2012
01:53:41,565 --> 01:53:42,817
Oh, we're gonna miss it.
Come on.
2013
01:53:42,900 --> 01:53:44,068
- Up on your feet.
- ...eight, seven...
2014
01:53:44,151 --> 01:53:45,653
Up on your feet. Up on your feet.
2015
01:53:45,736 --> 01:53:48,239
- ...six, five, four...
- Five, four...
2016
01:53:48,322 --> 01:53:51,200
[Hunham, Tully] Three, two, one.
2017
01:53:51,283 --> 01:53:54,453
- Happy New Year!
- [Hunham] Happy New Year!
2018
01:53:54,537 --> 01:53:56,038
Yes.
2019
01:53:56,122 --> 01:53:59,834
♪ Should old acquaintance be forgot... ♪
2020
01:53:59,917 --> 01:54:01,836
[Hunham clears throat]
2021
01:54:01,919 --> 01:54:04,755
[muttering]
2022
01:54:04,839 --> 01:54:06,549
Congratulations, Mr. Tully.
2023
01:54:06,632 --> 01:54:08,217
- Congratulations, Danny.
- Thank you.
2024
01:54:08,300 --> 01:54:09,927
Mary, congratulations.
2025
01:54:10,011 --> 01:54:12,138
Now, as I say, we're not
deploying this in here.
2026
01:54:12,221 --> 01:54:14,473
No. We're going to light
this sucker off in the kitchen.
2027
01:54:14,557 --> 01:54:15,766
- What?
- What?
2028
01:54:15,850 --> 01:54:17,143
- [Tully chuckles]
- All right. Come.
2029
01:54:17,226 --> 01:54:18,477
- Come, come, come.
- Come on, man.
2030
01:54:18,561 --> 01:54:20,021
- For real?
- This is coming with me.
2031
01:54:20,104 --> 01:54:25,443
♪ For auld lang syne ♪
2032
01:54:25,526 --> 01:54:26,736
♪ My dear ♪
2033
01:54:26,819 --> 01:54:32,366
♪ For auld lang syne ♪
2034
01:54:32,450 --> 01:54:33,951
[explosion]
2035
01:54:52,261 --> 01:54:55,139
["In Memory of Elizabeth Reed" playing]
2036
01:55:02,938 --> 01:55:04,940
[chattering]
2037
01:55:06,442 --> 01:55:09,320
[laughter]
2038
01:55:23,292 --> 01:55:25,044
There's too much paprika.
2039
01:55:25,586 --> 01:55:27,505
Why'd you put in all that paprika?
2040
01:55:27,588 --> 01:55:28,589
Follow the recipe.
2041
01:55:28,672 --> 01:55:30,966
Now you have to add in
a third cup of water.
2042
01:55:31,050 --> 01:55:32,593
What's wrong?
2043
01:55:34,595 --> 01:55:36,138
Come on, ladies!
2044
01:55:36,222 --> 01:55:38,224
[chattering]
2045
01:55:39,809 --> 01:55:41,477
[student] Hey, Kountze.
2046
01:55:41,560 --> 01:55:43,479
Does... does it hurt?
2047
01:55:43,562 --> 01:55:45,022
Fuck yeah, it hurts.
2048
01:55:45,106 --> 01:55:47,483
Glare off the slopes, man,
burned me to a crisp.
2049
01:55:47,566 --> 01:55:49,026
[Tully laughs]
2050
01:55:49,110 --> 01:55:50,653
You think that's funny, Tully?
2051
01:55:51,737 --> 01:55:55,032
No, man.
Just glad you had a good vacation.
2052
01:55:55,116 --> 01:56:00,079
Welcome back, you snarling Visigoths.
2053
01:56:00,162 --> 01:56:02,832
I trust you all enjoyed
a refreshing holiday.
2054
01:56:03,624 --> 01:56:06,252
Oh, hello, Mr. Kountze.
2055
01:56:06,335 --> 01:56:08,212
Or should I say Icarus?
2056
01:56:08,295 --> 01:56:10,339
Fly a little too close to the sun, did we?
2057
01:56:11,132 --> 01:56:13,217
- Huh?
- Yeah.
2058
01:56:13,300 --> 01:56:14,635
Uh, all right.
2059
01:56:14,718 --> 01:56:16,846
Now, along with your skiing and swimming,
2060
01:56:16,929 --> 01:56:18,764
I hope you found time
to enlighten yourselves
2061
01:56:18,848 --> 01:56:21,934
about the Peloponnesian War
and its implications for today.
2062
01:56:22,017 --> 01:56:24,353
Just to check, we're going
to start with a short pop quiz
2063
01:56:24,436 --> 01:56:26,021
- on the reading...
- [students groaning]
2064
01:56:26,105 --> 01:56:27,940
...before we retake the final
from last semester.
2065
01:56:28,023 --> 01:56:30,276
Omnia ex scrineis praeter stilum.
2066
01:56:30,359 --> 01:56:32,194
[students groaning, murmuring]
2067
01:57:06,020 --> 01:57:07,605
Excuse me, Mr. Hunham?
2068
01:57:08,981 --> 01:57:10,983
Oh, Miss Crane.
2069
01:57:11,066 --> 01:57:13,861
Lydia. Uh, come in. Happy New Year.
2070
01:57:13,944 --> 01:57:16,071
Oh, same to you. Happy New Year.
2071
01:57:16,155 --> 01:57:17,656
Forgive me. I'm a clod.
2072
01:57:17,740 --> 01:57:20,993
I never called to thank you for inviting
the boy and me to your party.
2073
01:57:21,076 --> 01:57:22,077
And Mary.
2074
01:57:22,161 --> 01:57:23,287
It meant a lot.
2075
01:57:23,370 --> 01:57:24,705
Oh, you're so welcome.
2076
01:57:24,788 --> 01:57:26,248
It was fun.
2077
01:57:26,332 --> 01:57:29,501
Um, Dr. Woodrup is asking to see you.
2078
01:57:29,585 --> 01:57:30,794
He says it's urgent.
2079
01:57:30,878 --> 01:57:31,921
Oh.
2080
01:57:35,049 --> 01:57:37,051
[chattering]
2081
01:57:45,643 --> 01:57:46,769
[knocks on door]
2082
01:58:02,618 --> 01:58:06,080
[Dr. Woodrup] Mr. Hunham,
meet Judy and Stanley Clotfelter.
2083
01:58:06,163 --> 01:58:08,624
Angus Tully's mother and father.
2084
01:58:08,707 --> 01:58:10,459
- Stepfather.
- Hello.
2085
01:58:10,542 --> 01:58:12,211
Good morning.
2086
01:58:12,294 --> 01:58:14,505
They've brought something
very important to my attention.
2087
01:58:14,588 --> 01:58:17,216
[Stanley] We understand you took Angus
to Boston over the holidays.
2088
01:58:17,299 --> 01:58:20,719
I explained to Mr. Clotfelter
that you went on a field trip
2089
01:58:20,803 --> 01:58:22,388
- for academic reasons.
- That's right.
2090
01:58:23,180 --> 01:58:24,306
A field trip?
2091
01:58:24,390 --> 01:58:26,976
Yes. Uh, as per my instructions
in the manual,
2092
01:58:27,059 --> 01:58:29,770
it fell within the ambit
of my responsibility.
2093
01:58:29,853 --> 01:58:32,523
Well, if it was a school trip,
then how do you explain this?
2094
01:58:32,606 --> 01:58:36,568
The people at the sanitarium
confiscated it from my ex-husband.
2095
01:58:36,652 --> 01:58:39,280
Apparently, Angus had given it to him.
2096
01:58:48,372 --> 01:58:49,873
My mom and Stanley are here.
2097
01:58:50,457 --> 01:58:51,750
Lydia told me.
2098
01:58:52,835 --> 01:58:54,837
I think I'm going to get
kicked out.
2099
01:58:56,463 --> 01:58:58,590
That means military school.
2100
01:59:14,565 --> 01:59:17,318
[Judy] Angus knows
he's not supposed to visit his father.
2101
01:59:17,401 --> 01:59:20,487
He suffers from
debilitating mental illness:
2102
01:59:20,571 --> 01:59:23,365
paranoid schizophrenia,
early-onset dementia.
2103
01:59:23,449 --> 01:59:26,952
And Angus's visit created
an expectation.
2104
01:59:27,036 --> 01:59:30,581
Now Tom wants to come home,
which is...
2105
01:59:30,664 --> 01:59:33,167
clearly impossible.
2106
01:59:33,250 --> 01:59:35,753
They tried to tell him, and he just...
2107
01:59:35,836 --> 01:59:39,548
He got violent. He tried to brain one of
the orderlies with this goddamned thing.
2108
01:59:39,631 --> 01:59:42,176
You people know the boy has
a discipline problem.
2109
01:59:42,259 --> 01:59:45,220
Paul, the Clotfelters want
to withdraw Angus from Barton
2110
01:59:45,304 --> 01:59:48,599
and enroll him
at Fork Union Military Academy.
2111
01:59:48,682 --> 01:59:51,018
[Stanley] Set him straight
once and for all.
2112
01:59:51,101 --> 01:59:53,437
He could do a lot worse
than a career in the military.
2113
01:59:53,520 --> 01:59:55,189
Stanley.
2114
01:59:55,272 --> 02:00:00,569
Look, Angus has defied me lots of times
about a lot of things, including this.
2115
02:00:00,652 --> 02:00:02,946
So, however he manipulated
your sympathies
2116
02:00:03,030 --> 02:00:06,909
or slipped the leash, just tell us.
2117
02:00:21,131 --> 02:00:23,175
It was my idea.
2118
02:00:27,471 --> 02:00:31,892
No, uh, he didn't, uh,
trick me or slip the leash.
2119
02:00:31,975 --> 02:00:34,019
No, I took him to see his father.
2120
02:00:35,229 --> 02:00:38,065
In fact, I convinced him to do so.
2121
02:00:42,152 --> 02:00:45,697
This is a family matter,
and you had no right to interfere.
2122
02:00:45,781 --> 02:00:47,449
- I don't give a shit.
- [Judy gasps] What?
2123
02:00:47,533 --> 02:00:49,743
- [Dr. Woodrup] Hunham.
- I said I don't give a shit.
2124
02:00:49,827 --> 02:00:52,079
You two were unreachable.
2125
02:00:52,162 --> 02:00:54,123
He was all alone at Christmas.
2126
02:00:54,206 --> 02:00:57,376
I thought the kid should see his father.
2127
02:00:59,795 --> 02:01:01,547
Do you understand
what you've done?
2128
02:01:02,673 --> 02:01:04,591
I have to move Tom now.
2129
02:01:04,675 --> 02:01:07,511
It was hard even finding
a facility that would take him,
2130
02:01:07,594 --> 02:01:11,140
and now I have to move him.
2131
02:01:11,223 --> 02:01:14,059
And that is deeply unfortunate,
2132
02:01:14,143 --> 02:01:18,397
but why compound the misery
by ruining the boy?
2133
02:01:19,940 --> 02:01:22,359
I have just spent
two solid weeks with him.
2134
02:01:22,443 --> 02:01:26,447
He is a pain in the ass, sure,
but he's also very smart.
2135
02:01:26,530 --> 02:01:29,575
Brilliant, I don't know, but very smart.
2136
02:01:30,075 --> 02:01:31,410
You must know that.
2137
02:01:32,244 --> 02:01:34,413
He's got enormous potential.
2138
02:01:35,330 --> 02:01:39,334
It would be devastating
if you pulled him out now.
2139
02:01:43,630 --> 02:01:45,507
[door opens]
2140
02:01:53,056 --> 02:01:55,642
You did this to yourself,
Hunham, not me.
2141
02:01:56,518 --> 02:01:58,729
- I want you to remember that.
- Mmm.
2142
02:02:00,689 --> 02:02:03,859
Hardy, I have known you
since you were a boy,
2143
02:02:03,942 --> 02:02:06,236
so I think I have
the requisite experience
2144
02:02:06,320 --> 02:02:09,948
and insight to aver that
you are and always have been
2145
02:02:11,033 --> 02:02:13,911
penis cancer in human form.
2146
02:02:23,253 --> 02:02:25,005
[sighs]
2147
02:02:40,020 --> 02:02:41,438
It's this one.
2148
02:02:43,065 --> 02:02:45,067
This is the one you should look at.
2149
02:02:55,869 --> 02:02:57,663
Angus, step inside, please.
2150
02:02:58,372 --> 02:03:01,375
["Ombra mai fu" playing]
2151
02:03:17,224 --> 02:03:19,226
[knocks on door]
2152
02:03:30,237 --> 02:03:31,655
- Oh.
- Hello.
2153
02:03:31,738 --> 02:03:33,115
Hello.
2154
02:03:33,198 --> 02:03:35,200
I missed you at breakfast.
2155
02:03:35,284 --> 02:03:37,536
I was, uh... I was busy.
2156
02:03:40,998 --> 02:03:43,542
So did you decide
where you're going to go?
2157
02:03:44,418 --> 02:03:45,460
Yes and no.
2158
02:03:45,544 --> 02:03:50,257
Um, first, I'm going to stash my stuff
at a friend's in Syracuse, and then...
2159
02:03:51,550 --> 02:03:52,759
I don't know.
2160
02:03:52,843 --> 02:03:55,304
Maybe I'll start in Carthage. [chuckles]
2161
02:03:56,221 --> 02:03:58,056
I was hoping you were
going to say that.
2162
02:03:58,140 --> 02:03:59,141
Mmm.
2163
02:04:03,186 --> 02:04:05,480
[sighs]
2164
02:04:11,111 --> 02:04:12,446
For your monograph.
2165
02:04:14,906 --> 02:04:18,619
I don't know, Mary.
There's a lot of empty pages in here.
2166
02:04:18,702 --> 02:04:21,163
- Yeah, well, that's your problem, man.
- [chuckles]
2167
02:04:21,246 --> 02:04:23,999
All you got to do
is write one word after another.
2168
02:04:24,082 --> 02:04:25,417
Can't be that hard, can it?
2169
02:04:25,500 --> 02:04:26,585
- Oh...
- [laughs]
2170
02:04:26,668 --> 02:04:28,503
[chuckles]
2171
02:04:31,298 --> 02:04:33,050
What about you?
2172
02:04:33,133 --> 02:04:35,218
What about me what?
2173
02:04:35,302 --> 02:04:38,263
Oh, no, I'm not going anywhere.
Mm-mmm.
2174
02:04:38,347 --> 02:04:40,474
I'm not like you.
I like having a job.
2175
02:04:40,557 --> 02:04:41,850
[chuckles]
2176
02:04:41,933 --> 02:04:43,852
Plus, I'm saving up for college.
2177
02:04:43,935 --> 02:04:45,771
My sister's baby.
2178
02:04:46,855 --> 02:04:48,690
Ah. [chuckles]
2179
02:04:50,233 --> 02:04:51,818
What is the word from Penny?
2180
02:04:51,902 --> 02:04:53,820
- Peggy.
- Peggy.
2181
02:04:55,364 --> 02:04:57,324
Only that if it's a boy...
2182
02:04:58,825 --> 02:05:01,244
his middle name is going
to be Curtis.
2183
02:05:09,336 --> 02:05:10,545
[sighs]
2184
02:05:14,341 --> 02:05:17,344
[whistle blowing in distance]
2185
02:05:22,099 --> 02:05:24,393
[Kountze] I heard he got booted
for eating feces.
2186
02:05:25,352 --> 02:05:26,353
What?
2187
02:05:26,436 --> 02:05:27,979
Apparently he got caught
in the locker room.
2188
02:05:28,063 --> 02:05:30,357
Hand in the commode,
burgling turds.
2189
02:05:31,650 --> 02:05:33,402
That's not what I heard.
2190
02:05:33,485 --> 02:05:35,404
What did you hear?
2191
02:05:35,487 --> 02:05:37,114
Doesn't matter.
2192
02:05:37,197 --> 02:05:38,949
Either way, he's history.
2193
02:05:39,032 --> 02:05:42,160
Fucker taught history, now is history.
2194
02:05:42,244 --> 02:05:43,995
Right, Tully?
2195
02:05:46,957 --> 02:05:49,501
[sniffs, sighs]
2196
02:05:52,963 --> 02:05:54,089
Hi.
2197
02:05:54,172 --> 02:05:56,091
Oh, hi.
2198
02:05:58,844 --> 02:05:59,845
Look, uh...
2199
02:06:00,804 --> 02:06:04,015
I don't know what you said
to my mom and Stanley, Woodrup...
2200
02:06:06,059 --> 02:06:08,353
but all I know is
I'm not getting kicked out
2201
02:06:08,437 --> 02:06:10,647
and, uh, you got fired.
2202
02:06:11,481 --> 02:06:13,608
Well, I just told the truth.
2203
02:06:14,401 --> 02:06:15,819
Mostly.
2204
02:06:16,611 --> 02:06:17,821
Barton man.
2205
02:06:18,822 --> 02:06:20,824
Barton man.
2206
02:06:24,119 --> 02:06:26,955
[school bell ringing]
2207
02:06:27,038 --> 02:06:28,623
Fifth period.
2208
02:06:37,299 --> 02:06:40,135
You know, it's, uh... it's only PE.
2209
02:06:40,218 --> 02:06:41,720
- [chuckles]
- Maybe I could skip.
2210
02:06:41,803 --> 02:06:43,221
We could head over
to The Winning Ticket.
2211
02:06:43,305 --> 02:06:44,931
- [chuckles]
- Grab a burger and a beer.
2212
02:06:45,015 --> 02:06:48,101
Ah. Miller High Life, no doubt.
2213
02:06:48,185 --> 02:06:50,395
You never give up, do you?
2214
02:06:50,479 --> 02:06:53,732
Well, they already fired you,
so I figured it was worth a shot.
2215
02:06:53,815 --> 02:06:57,486
Your logic is flawless, but, uh, no.
2216
02:07:05,702 --> 02:07:08,163
Keep your head up, all right?
2217
02:07:13,043 --> 02:07:15,212
You can do this.
2218
02:07:16,797 --> 02:07:18,924
Yeah, I was gonna tell you
the same thing.
2219
02:07:33,897 --> 02:07:35,315
See ya.
2220
02:07:46,618 --> 02:07:47,869
See ya.
2221
02:08:24,614 --> 02:08:26,032
[sighs]
2222
02:08:42,048 --> 02:08:45,051
["Crying, Laughing, Loving, Lying"
playing]
165114
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