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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:04,033 Hey, Ma. 2 00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:05,829 Hey, you guys... 3 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,918 ...I think we haven't been paying enough attention to Lucky. 4 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:11,078 Who's Lucky? 5 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:14,394 Any guy who goes out on a date with Kelly. 6 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:22,317 Well, hasn't anyone else noticed that he seems kind of depressed? 7 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:24,750 Well, what makes you think something like that? 8 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:05,152 - Now, easy. Easy now. - I'm going, I'm-- 9 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:07,237 - Watch it. - We're gonna have so much fun... 10 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:08,714 ...with this damn thing, Bud. 11 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:13,113 Watch it. You're gonna nick the side of the box. 12 00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:15,788 You are never gonna get that big, stupid thing in here. 13 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,197 That's what I said when I carried you over the threshold. 14 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,472 Hi, neighbors. Look, we brought you some things to munch-- 15 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:27,876 - Hey. Hey. - Watch it. I'll kill you for that! 16 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:33,399 Told you we should've used the feed pole. 17 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:37,357 Well, enjoy. And there's plenty more where that came from. 18 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:41,917 All you have to do is stay inside the entire weekend, okay? 19 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:43,712 Why? 20 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,517 Well, my cousin Mandy is coming for a visit. 21 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:50,551 And how can I put this nicely? 22 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,479 I don't want her to be repulsed by you. 23 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,349 You know, not that you're repulsive. 24 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:06,117 Enough said. 25 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,868 But, you know, it's been years since I've seen Mandy... 26 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,752 ...and we were once very close. 27 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,076 In fact, we're identical. 28 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:17,192 So she's as obnoxious as you? 29 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:20,513 Identical cousins. There's no such thing. 30 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:22,312 Well, sure there is. 31 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:25,796 Samantha and Serena, Patty and Cathy. 32 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,069 Exactly. 33 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:31,831 We walk alike, we talk alike Sometimes we even something alike 34 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:36,271 So there's another one out there exactly like you? 35 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:38,871 Well, not exactly. 36 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,116 I am a little prettier. 37 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:45,595 If she's the pretty one, imagine what the cousin looks like. 38 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:48,919 Do you see I'm trying to eat here? 39 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:52,596 Watch it now. Watch it now. Watch it. 40 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:56,190 He fakes, he shoots, he scores! I win again. 41 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,755 Relax, Dad. It's just foosball. 42 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,791 Just foosball, son? 43 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,673 This is the greatest invention ever made. 44 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:07,191 Edward Foos was a boy with a dream. 45 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,360 A dream to invent a game that everyone can enjoy... 46 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:13,120 ...no matter how out of shape or drunk you are. 47 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,835 The boy's not right, Peg. 48 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:21,356 I knew that the day we dropped him on his head and he didn't scream. 49 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:28,918 - Hi, I'm Man-- - Nice wig, Marce. 50 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:31,793 Hey, Peg, look here. The fifth Beatle. 51 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:41,189 I'm not Marcy. I'm Mandy, Marcy's cousin. 52 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:46,192 You and Marcy really do look alike. 53 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,470 You think so? I know I'm no supermodel... 54 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,353 ...but I never really thought I looked like a chicken. 55 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:53,879 I like her. 56 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:57,073 Marcy and Jefferson went to meet you at the airport. 57 00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,511 Well, my flight was early, so I took a cab. 58 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,871 - You mind if I wait here? - No, not at all. Not at all. 59 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:04,991 Of course, here in the Windy City... 60 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:09,193 ...it's customary to tip people who let you into their home. 61 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,756 You must be Al. 62 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,429 Sadly, he must. 63 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,628 Hey, foosball. You any good? 64 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:21,314 Is your cousin flat-chested? 65 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,392 Oh, score! 66 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:25,749 I'm ahead. 67 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:29,475 Lucky shot. That was a lucky shot. 68 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:31,872 - Now can I play? - Not now, Peg. 69 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,435 Score! I win. 70 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,355 We couldn't find my cousin at-- 71 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:40,792 - Mandy! - Marcy! 72 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:51,071 - You look great. - So do you. 73 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:52,674 What are you doing here? 74 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:54,839 We didn't go out. She came in. 75 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:58,589 Which reminds me, we're-- We're out of onion dip. 76 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:03,994 Mandy, this is my Jefferson. 77 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:07,433 Don't you wish you had one just like him? 78 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,473 You mean there's another one of him too? 79 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:14,278 Wow, you're even better looking than Marcy said. 80 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:15,879 Oh, so are you. 81 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,228 Honey, why did you say you were the pretty one? 82 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:26,351 Come on now. We're right in the middle of a game. 83 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,912 Marcy... 84 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:33,751 ...if you guys are identical, how come she has...? 85 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:35,598 Implants. 86 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:38,079 Really? 87 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:41,992 Not that I like... 88 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:43,832 ...big, luscious breasts. 89 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,478 They just get in the way. 90 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:54,150 Those pills the vet gave Lucky really have pepped him up. 91 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:58,790 Don't you think that he's a little bit too hyper? 92 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:05,708 No. No, he's fine. 93 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,150 Hey, he's burying a bone. 94 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:17,072 You know, we should give some of those pills to Mom. 95 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:20,750 I did. How do you think she got off the couch? 96 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:26,279 - Hey. - Hi. Hi, Peggy. 97 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:28,232 I got your bonbons. 98 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:33,594 Guess what. I am making Jefferson his favorite supper tonight. 99 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:37,475 - Why? - Because if a wife doesn't do it... 100 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,956 ...then some other woman might come along and steal him away. 101 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:44,709 Even someone you least expect, you know, like a cousin. 102 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:49,431 You know, a cousin that all the boys like best because she's such fun. 103 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:52,677 Boys like Jimmy Miller, who showed Mandy his baseball cards... 104 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,838 ...and played keep away with little Marcy's undershirt. 105 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:58,478 Marcy, I'm really worried. 106 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:02,309 Maybe we shouldn't have let Mandy spend the day with Al and Jefferson. 107 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,028 Why, Peggy Bundy. 108 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:07,232 If I didn't know better, I'd say you were jealous. 109 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,399 What a game. 110 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:13,717 - What was the final score? - Thirty-seven to 14. 111 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,990 That doesn't sound like a baseball score. 112 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:18,998 It's not. That's how many beers and hot dogs we had... 113 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,873 ...before we decided to pants Jefferson. 114 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:23,989 Yeah, you kidders. 115 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:27,749 Luckily, it was Souvenir Towel Day at the ballpark. 116 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:30,394 Hey, Marce, got you a T-shirt. 117 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:34,076 - Keep away! - Keep away from Marcy! 118 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:39,717 Mandy! Mandy! Mandy! 119 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,593 - Mandy! Mandy! - Mandy! Mandy! 120 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,872 You guys are so immature! 121 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,469 Give it back or I'm telling. 122 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:57,071 Hey, look what Jefferson gave me. He caught a foul ball. 123 00:07:57,280 --> 00:08:00,909 Well, actually, it was a home-run ball, but, you know, no big deal. 124 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:04,795 He's been trying to catch one of those his whole life. Excuse me. 125 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,558 Al, new deal. 126 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:10,833 How would you like a nice juicy pot roast for supper? 127 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:12,439 With those little potatoes? 128 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,313 And biscuits and gravy... 129 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:16,475 What do I gotta do? 130 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:19,672 All you have to do is keep Mandy away from Jefferson... 131 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,518 ...until she leaves tomorrow. 132 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:22,675 I can do that. 133 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:25,519 Mandy, you wanna stay for dinner tonight? 134 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:28,757 Jefferson and I need a little alone time. Come on, honey. 135 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,872 Wait, you know, I think I'll just stay and hang out with Mandy. 136 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,071 Or I could come now. 137 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:36,875 Hey, Peg... 138 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,550 ...how would you like a pot roast dinner tonight with all the fixings? 139 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:42,990 - Where are we going? - The kitchen. 140 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,156 I'm not cooking. 141 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:48,554 I'll do it. I love to cook. 142 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:50,757 Why can't you be more like Mandy, Peg? 143 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:52,473 She likes foosball, baseball... 144 00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:55,035 ...she likes to cook. She's just like a wife... 145 00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:56,912 ...but fun. 146 00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,991 So marry her. 147 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:05,079 How about it, Mandy? 148 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,077 Me and you in Vegas... 149 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:10,192 ...a honeymoon at football fantasy camp. 150 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:13,956 - It sounds fun, Al, but I'm involved. - Yeah? 151 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,871 - Who's the lucky guy? - Barbara. 152 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:19,955 Barbara? 153 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:24,119 Well, that sounds like he might be a little light in the loafers, huh? 154 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:27,910 Well, actually, she's a little heavy in the construction boots. 155 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:29,473 She? 156 00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:32,319 Yes. Al, I'm gay. 157 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,112 Gay? 158 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:44,233 I can see that you're shocked, Al. 159 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,874 Why do you think I went with you to the Jiggly Room? 160 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:49,548 I thought you were being a good sport. 161 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,910 Why do you think I was blowing kisses to all the strippers? 162 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:56,076 I thought you were aiming at me and missing. 163 00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,478 Did any of them kiss back? 164 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,997 But not Lolla, huh? 165 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,471 Of course not. Lolla's a guy. 166 00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:09,036 - What? What? - Calm down, Al. 167 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:11,117 That can't be. 168 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,230 How did a thing like this happen to you? 169 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,670 What, did you get stood up for the prom... 170 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,996 ...or you went to prison? 171 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,068 I know. It was summer camp, wasn't it? 172 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:25,396 You sprained a muscle skinny-dipping... 173 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:27,431 ...and the beautiful, blond counselor-- 174 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,631 Let's call her Betty. 175 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,919 --carried you back to her cabin and gave you a massage. 176 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:34,473 And before you knew it... 177 00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:39,117 ...you were a love slave in an all-girl sex cult. 178 00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:43,796 Yeah, that's what happened. 179 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,875 You saw that in a video, didn't you, Al? 180 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:50,356 Yeah. My favorite. 181 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:52,678 Mine too. 182 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:58,113 So you don't have a problem with two women being together? 183 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,072 No. 184 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:02,874 As long as there's a guy watching. 185 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:12,919 Well, I've told everyone in the family except for Marcy. 186 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:16,394 - How do you think she's gonna take it? - Are you crazy? 187 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:18,750 She's done a lot weirder sex stuff than that. 188 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:20,713 I shouldn't be surprised. 189 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,388 She used to have to pay boys to kiss her. 190 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,556 She still does. 191 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:33,191 So, Al, has your little friend finally gone home... 192 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,992 ...or do you want her to sleep over? 193 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:38,749 Peg, you don't have to worry about Mandy. 194 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:41,554 Why? Because you only have eyes for me? 195 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,637 No. 196 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:45,512 No, Peg... 197 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:47,953 ...Mandy's gay. 198 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:51,118 - She is? - Yes, Peg. 199 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:55,518 I'm surprised you couldn't pick it up. I never miss a thing like that. 200 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:57,711 Gaydar. 201 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:05,788 Good thing the vet took Lucky off those puppy uppers. 202 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:09,788 Yesterday he was chasing cars and passing them. 203 00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:13,677 Well, the vet said that the pills were just masking his pain. 204 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:15,916 I think he's depressed because he's lonely. 205 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:19,317 So I set up this little date for him. 206 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:24,029 Kelly, only an idiot would help a dog to date. 207 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:30,072 I'm Bud. I'll be your waiter this evening. 208 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:34,631 Hey, Elaine. Hey, Frisky. 209 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,559 Frisky, that's Lucky. 210 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,638 And this is loser. 211 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:42,994 - Hi, Kelly. - Hi. 212 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,031 Bye, Kelly. 213 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,358 So Frisky and Lucky. 214 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:57,833 Let's hope that also describes their owners. 215 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:01,835 I can't believe you went to so much trouble. 216 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:05,032 I love that you love your dog this much. 217 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:10,075 We want to do whatever it takes to get our furry little friends together. 218 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:42,791 Oh, I'm sorry. I'll be more gentle. 219 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:46,675 That wasn't me. No, I don't make that noise until later. 220 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:53,596 Lucky, be nice. She's company. 221 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,997 Your dog doesn't like my dog very much. 222 00:13:57,200 --> 00:14:00,237 Sure he does. He's just playing hard to get. 223 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,354 Okay, so she's not your type. 224 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:14,189 Can't you just close your eyes and pretend she's Lassie? 225 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,311 It's worked for me. 226 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:22,438 I can't believe how rude your dog is. 227 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:25,598 Me neither. I'll have him put to sleep. 228 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:30,910 We'll just play with your dog. 229 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:37,669 I have a better idea. Why don't you play with yourself? 230 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:51,191 - Al, get the door. - I'm trying to, Peg. 231 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,271 Well, so much for honesty. 232 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,038 What, she kicked you out? 233 00:14:57,240 --> 00:15:00,277 Well, not right away. First she started screaming... 234 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:03,278 ...and babbling something about an undershirt. 235 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:06,075 I hate to impose, but can I crash on your couch? 236 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,238 Well, that depends. Won't turn it gay, will it? 237 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:13,239 - No, I don't think so, Al. - Just checking. 238 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,908 Well, I better get on upstairs. 239 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,195 I trust you're enough of a lady not to whistle... 240 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,994 ...at my tight little behind as I go up the stairs. 241 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:26,398 - Al, I told you, I'm gay. - That may well be... 242 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:29,512 ...but there are some things no woman can resist. 243 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:41,355 Hey, Mandy, I have a question. 244 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:44,313 Do you just like certain women? 245 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:46,670 Or would you sleep with any woman on Earth... 246 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:48,916 ...before you'd sleep with a man? 247 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,555 Well, it depends. Give me a "for instance." 248 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,832 For instance... 249 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,677 ...you're on a desert island. 250 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,235 Who would you rather be with, me or Cindy Crawford? 251 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:00,555 Cindy. 252 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:03,758 Me... 253 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:07,118 - ...or Phyllis Diller? - Phyllis. 254 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:10,198 Me... 255 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,994 ...or Marge Schott? 256 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:16,475 You. But the whole time we'd be doing it... 257 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,069 ...I'd be thinking of Phyllis Diller. 258 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:29,997 - Al, get the door. - Yes, my queen. 259 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,949 Oh, Jefferson, what the hell do you want? 260 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,991 A place to sleep. 261 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:40,073 Hey, wait a minute. What--? 262 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:44,319 What are you two doing down here together in your pyjamas? 263 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:48,515 I thought you were gay. 264 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:52,871 I am. 265 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:57,634 - Does Peggy know about this? - Peggy sent me down here. 266 00:16:57,920 --> 00:16:59,399 You people are... 267 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,113 ...sick. 268 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:06,916 Yes, we are, Jefferson. Sick enough to turn your head into a gravy boat... 269 00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:08,838 ...if you don't get out of here. 270 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:10,189 I can't leave. 271 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:15,076 Marcy's mad at me just because I called out Mandy's name in bed. 272 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:18,558 Excuse me. 273 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:23,032 You know, for a lesbian, you sure spend a lot of time with men. 274 00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,476 And what are you doing here in your pyjamas? 275 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:28,592 Oh, I'm sorry, Peggy. Marcy kicked me out. 276 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,791 And she threw away our ball. 277 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,638 Al Bundy, this is all your fault. 278 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:36,389 - Why is it all my fault? - It just is. Get up. 279 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:37,999 I want you to go to Marcy's... 280 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,555 ...and tell her to get her relatives out of my house. 281 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,034 Oh, that's a good idea, Peg. 282 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:45,198 Because when I see Marcy in her pyjamas, I'll have a seizure. 283 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:48,233 On my way to the hospital, between the blaring of the sirens... 284 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:51,876 ...and the paramedics yelling "Clear," maybe then I can get some sleep. 285 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,390 Hate Mandy. Hate Mandy. Hate Mandy. 286 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:01,229 - Hate her. Hate her. Hate her. - Marcy. 287 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:05,759 What are you doing up here? 288 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:09,839 Oh, you know me. Can't keep me out of a shrill woman's bedroom. 289 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,712 - Go home. - I'd like to. 290 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:15,674 But my living room is full of women, men and your cousin. 291 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,559 Why is that, Marcy? 292 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:21,036 Because I hate Mandy, and I never wanna speak to her again. 293 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:24,277 That's understandable. No one should have to speak with family. 294 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:26,789 If I were king, I'd make it a law. 295 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,195 You're the tree-hugging bra-burner around here. 296 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,879 What do you care if she's gay? 297 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:34,719 I don't hate Mandy because she's gay. 298 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:39,436 I hate Mandy because everyone likes her better than me! 299 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:49,956 All our lives, Mandy was the talented one. 300 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,639 Mandy was the popular one. 301 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,159 And the pretty one? 302 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:59,078 She stole all my boyfriends, and now I've found out... 303 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,555 ...she didn't even want them! 304 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:10,995 Why does everyone like her better than me? 305 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:15,553 Well, for starters, she never blew her nose in my pyjama top. 306 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:21,635 I know I'm not perfect, but I do have some good qualities. 307 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,115 Sure, if you say so. 308 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:29,673 - Name one? - Oh, jeez, I don't know. 309 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:33,111 Well, you've got a high school diploma... 310 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:36,393 ...and you never let your eyebrows grow together. 311 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,194 Perfect height for a lawn jockey. 312 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,355 Wait a minute. I got it. 313 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:46,109 I'll bet you're the reasonable one. 314 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,195 - Me? - Yes. 315 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,670 You're big enough and wise enough... 316 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,838 ...to sit down with Mandy-- Over here. 317 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,028 --and talk this thing out. 318 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,830 Yeah. Yeah, you're right, Al. 319 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,759 I am the reasonable one. 320 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,951 - Al? - Yeah? 321 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:15,433 Are we alone together in my bedroom hugging in the middle of the night? 322 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,195 See you at the All-Star Game. 323 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,914 One more game of foosball? 324 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,752 I'd love to, Al, but Marcy's waiting to take me to the airport. 325 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:35,988 Oh, yes. And we wouldn't want Mandy to miss her plane. 326 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:39,758 You know, Peg, I'm really sorry... 327 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,349 ...that we didn't get to know one another better. 328 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,955 I think I know enough. 329 00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:48,828 Well, there's one thing you may not know. 330 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,674 - Oh, really? - Yep. 331 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:53,518 I think you're gorgeous. 332 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,031 Oh, really? 333 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,194 Don't be a stranger. 334 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:13,360 Remember, she was my friend first. 335 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,232 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 336 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,477 Hey, guess what. Lucky's not depressed anymore. 337 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:20,352 Found a little friend in the park. 338 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:26,037 His name's Spike. 339 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,310 I think they're in love. 25898

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