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1
00:00:34,583 --> 00:00:37,551
Are you sure you don't want to
get that lobster cocktail thingy?
2
00:00:37,619 --> 00:00:39,553
I already ordered
the clam chowder.
3
00:00:39,621 --> 00:00:41,155
So get both.
4
00:00:41,222 --> 00:00:43,658
I told you, in honor of
my first paycheck in months,
5
00:00:43,725 --> 00:00:46,861
I am treating, and I expect you
to do some damage.
6
00:00:46,929 --> 00:00:50,597
You do realize you're poking
a hornet's nest here?
7
00:00:50,665 --> 00:00:52,717
I do. But we are
celebrating.
8
00:00:52,784 --> 00:00:54,218
And listen to this.
9
00:00:54,285 --> 00:00:55,720
If you behave,
10
00:00:55,787 --> 00:00:58,389
I will take you to that
stupid Chris Tucker movie
11
00:00:58,456 --> 00:00:59,824
where he plays a big baby.
12
00:00:59,892 --> 00:01:01,692
Little homey?
13
00:01:01,759 --> 00:01:03,077
Mm-hmm.
14
00:01:03,145 --> 00:01:05,579
Wait a second. Just
'cause you're taking me out
15
00:01:05,647 --> 00:01:08,315
for a fancy night on the town
you do realize
16
00:01:08,383 --> 00:01:10,584
that doesn't automatically
mean you get the, uh...
17
00:01:10,652 --> 00:01:12,953
Shma-Booty.
18
00:01:13,021 --> 00:01:15,506
Now, listen.
You can either give it to me
19
00:01:15,574 --> 00:01:17,274
or I can take it.
It's your choice.
20
00:01:17,342 --> 00:01:18,258
Here we go.
21
00:01:18,326 --> 00:01:19,343
Thank you.
22
00:01:19,411 --> 00:01:20,677
Careful. Bowl's hot.
23
00:01:20,745 --> 00:01:22,613
OK. Um, guy.
24
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:23,614
Yeah?
25
00:01:23,681 --> 00:01:25,082
Do you have any of those, uh,
26
00:01:25,150 --> 00:01:27,768
crackers that are shaped
like little baby oysters?
27
00:01:30,272 --> 00:01:31,172
Uh, guy.
28
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:32,372
Yeah?
29
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,775
Uh, it's a pretty big bowl.
30
00:01:43,084 --> 00:01:44,852
Oh...
31
00:01:44,919 --> 00:01:46,621
There's one of the girls
I work with.
32
00:01:46,688 --> 00:01:47,905
Emily. Emily.
33
00:01:47,972 --> 00:01:50,124
Oh, hey, Carrie.
34
00:01:50,192 --> 00:01:51,325
Hi!
Hi!
35
00:01:51,392 --> 00:01:53,361
Uh, Emily,
this is my husband Doug.
36
00:01:53,428 --> 00:01:55,562
And that's Emily. We work
on the 40th floor together.
37
00:01:55,630 --> 00:01:56,663
Hi. How you doin'?
38
00:01:56,731 --> 00:01:58,165
Oh, and this is
my husband Peter.
39
00:01:58,233 --> 00:01:59,233
How do you do?
Hi Peter.
40
00:01:59,301 --> 00:02:00,734
Carrie works for
Mr. Douchet.
41
00:02:03,305 --> 00:02:05,756
Although I wish he would
ease up on the Cologne a little.
42
00:02:05,824 --> 00:02:07,541
Yeah, it is kind of strong.
43
00:02:07,609 --> 00:02:09,326
Kind of?
You know, the other day
44
00:02:09,394 --> 00:02:11,662
I saw a fly
land on his shoulder,
45
00:02:11,730 --> 00:02:14,699
2 seconds later... dead.
46
00:02:15,534 --> 00:02:17,018
Hey, why don't you guys
join us?
47
00:02:17,085 --> 00:02:18,519
We just got a nice big table.
48
00:02:18,586 --> 00:02:19,986
Oh, actually,
we just got our food--
49
00:02:19,988 --> 00:02:21,748
yeah, that's be great.
Let me just grab this.
50
00:02:21,773 --> 00:02:23,607
No.
Uh-huh, great, OK?
51
00:02:30,598 --> 00:02:32,866
Whoa, whoa!
Guy, what are you doing?
52
00:02:32,934 --> 00:02:34,201
What?
53
00:02:34,269 --> 00:02:35,869
You're taking all the cheese.
54
00:02:35,937 --> 00:02:37,905
It came up with the chip.
55
00:02:37,972 --> 00:02:39,873
Yeah, 'cause you grabbed
the nucleus.
56
00:02:39,941 --> 00:02:41,542
What?
57
00:02:41,609 --> 00:02:44,578
Every pile of nachos
has one main chip
58
00:02:44,646 --> 00:02:46,697
that holds the whole thing
together-the nucleus.
59
00:02:46,765 --> 00:02:49,166
You don't take the nucleus.
You work around it.
60
00:02:49,234 --> 00:02:51,201
You honor it.
61
00:02:51,269 --> 00:02:53,537
That's nachos 101, man.
62
00:02:53,605 --> 00:02:56,808
Can I eat this or is someone
gonna throw a punch?
63
00:02:58,610 --> 00:03:00,294
Oh, hey, guys.
64
00:03:00,362 --> 00:03:01,144
Hey.
Hey.
65
00:03:01,212 --> 00:03:03,230
Honey, good news.
Emily and Peter
66
00:03:03,298 --> 00:03:05,499
have 2 extra tickets
to Mark Russell tonight
67
00:03:05,567 --> 00:03:07,168
and they want to take us.
68
00:03:07,235 --> 00:03:09,270
Who the hell is Mark Russell?
69
00:03:09,337 --> 00:03:10,705
He does these
politically based
70
00:03:10,772 --> 00:03:12,540
song parodies.
He's hilarious.
71
00:03:12,608 --> 00:03:14,642
He's got this one
about newt gingrich--
72
00:03:14,710 --> 00:03:15,876
he--
73
00:03:15,944 --> 00:03:19,447
he totally rips him a new one.
74
00:03:19,514 --> 00:03:21,581
You know what?
That sounds like fun.
75
00:03:21,649 --> 00:03:22,333
Let's do it.
76
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:23,551
Really? Thank you.
77
00:03:23,618 --> 00:03:25,553
But we're supposed to go
to Cooper's tonight
78
00:03:25,620 --> 00:03:27,100
to watch that
ultimate fighting thing.
79
00:03:27,121 --> 00:03:28,589
You need 4 people
to get a booth.
80
00:03:28,657 --> 00:03:30,424
I got a chance to hang out
with my wife
81
00:03:30,491 --> 00:03:33,861
and her new work friends,
all right? Just back it down.
82
00:03:33,929 --> 00:03:35,930
Love you.
83
00:03:35,997 --> 00:03:38,699
Love you, too.
Lookin' forward to it.
84
00:03:39,901 --> 00:03:41,068
You do realize
85
00:03:41,136 --> 00:03:43,404
you just went from 2
psychos fighting in a cage
86
00:03:43,471 --> 00:03:46,706
to a guy in a bow tie
singing about inflation.
87
00:03:46,774 --> 00:03:48,643
Ha ha! I forgot
about that one.
88
00:03:48,710 --> 00:03:51,545
That one's great.
Ha ha ha!
89
00:03:51,613 --> 00:03:53,493
Calm down? You know what?
I know what I'm doing.
90
00:03:53,561 --> 00:03:55,041
Really? 'Cause from
where I'm sitting,
91
00:03:55,066 --> 00:03:57,551
you just got steamrolled
like a cartoon character.
92
00:03:57,619 --> 00:03:59,820
Look, Carrie just got
a new job, and that's great.
93
00:03:59,887 --> 00:04:01,807
The bad news is, now
there's a whole new building
94
00:04:01,832 --> 00:04:03,524
full of these Manhattan
chuckleheads
95
00:04:03,592 --> 00:04:05,192
she's gonna
want to make friends with.
96
00:04:05,260 --> 00:04:06,777
Oh, she loves that.
97
00:04:06,844 --> 00:04:09,163
"Oh, let's make new friends.
Let's open up our world."
98
00:04:09,231 --> 00:04:11,365
You know what? I don't
want to open up our world.
99
00:04:11,432 --> 00:04:13,868
I want to close our world.
100
00:04:13,935 --> 00:04:16,436
Build a dome over it.
101
00:04:16,504 --> 00:04:18,344
Well, if you don't want
to meet any new people,
102
00:04:18,369 --> 00:04:20,107
why'd you agree
to go out with them?
103
00:04:20,175 --> 00:04:22,276
Because Carrie
can't know about the dome.
104
00:04:22,344 --> 00:04:24,044
So what I like to do is...
105
00:04:24,112 --> 00:04:26,680
Happily agree to go out
with these people.
106
00:04:26,748 --> 00:04:30,050
And then let's just say,
by the end of the evening...
107
00:04:30,118 --> 00:04:32,786
They no like Dougie so much.
108
00:04:35,957 --> 00:04:38,225
Oh, thanks for taking us
tonight, you guys.
109
00:04:38,293 --> 00:04:39,393
Oh, sure.
110
00:04:39,461 --> 00:04:41,495
Mark Russell
never disappoints.
111
00:04:41,563 --> 00:04:44,832
I had no idea there were so many
words that rhyme with bipartisan.
112
00:04:45,784 --> 00:04:48,269
Wow, I really love this house.
113
00:04:48,337 --> 00:04:50,471
Oh, thank you.
It's just a place holder
114
00:04:50,538 --> 00:04:52,072
until I hit the lottery.
115
00:04:52,140 --> 00:04:54,074
Actually... I think
I'm a place holder
116
00:04:54,142 --> 00:04:55,642
until she hits the lottery.
117
00:04:55,710 --> 00:04:57,661
Honey, you want to
get some coffee going?
118
00:04:57,729 --> 00:04:59,079
Oh, yeah, yeah.
119
00:04:59,147 --> 00:05:01,067
All right, you guys just
talk amongst yourselves.
120
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:03,017
Ohh, what a great night, huh?
121
00:05:03,084 --> 00:05:04,351
Yeah, it was.
Yeah, yeah.
122
00:05:04,418 --> 00:05:05,352
Yeah.
123
00:05:07,588 --> 00:05:09,690
Can I, uh,
ask you guys a question?
124
00:05:09,758 --> 00:05:11,025
Oh, sure.
125
00:05:11,092 --> 00:05:13,994
Is this a lot of hair,
right here? Seriously.
126
00:05:17,082 --> 00:05:18,716
'Cause some people
say I'm hairy,
127
00:05:18,783 --> 00:05:21,568
but I don't think
I'm hairy enough, you know?
128
00:05:21,636 --> 00:05:23,737
Like, especially in the
winter, the cold months.
129
00:05:23,805 --> 00:05:25,005
Yeah, what do you think?
130
00:05:25,073 --> 00:05:26,940
I, uh, I don't, um...
131
00:05:27,008 --> 00:05:28,775
I'm sure you're fine.
132
00:05:28,843 --> 00:05:30,283
You want to touch it?
It's very soft.
133
00:05:30,308 --> 00:05:31,212
No.
134
00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:32,713
Go ahead. Seriously.
Touch it.
135
00:05:32,780 --> 00:05:34,048
It's like a puppy, I swear.
136
00:05:34,115 --> 00:05:35,382
It's a little puppy.
137
00:05:35,450 --> 00:05:37,218
Yeah. No bitey, no bitey.
138
00:05:37,285 --> 00:05:39,553
Uh... I don't think
I want to do that right now.
139
00:05:39,620 --> 00:05:42,556
You know, sometimes I think
about shaving it all off
140
00:05:42,623 --> 00:05:45,525
and just stuffin' it in a
pillowcase and sleepin' on it.
141
00:05:45,593 --> 00:05:47,945
Hey.
There she is.
142
00:05:48,012 --> 00:05:49,863
I hope you guys don't mind.
143
00:05:49,931 --> 00:05:51,915
All I could find
were these oreos.
144
00:05:51,983 --> 00:05:53,901
Yeah. Um, actually,
we have to scoot.
145
00:05:53,968 --> 00:05:55,069
Yeah.
146
00:05:55,136 --> 00:05:56,236
Come on, hang out.
147
00:05:56,304 --> 00:05:57,905
Yeah, I'm sorry.
148
00:05:57,973 --> 00:06:00,324
I forgot the babysitter
needs us home by 11:00.
149
00:06:00,391 --> 00:06:01,592
By 11:00.
She did say that.
150
00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:03,360
Oh, OK.
All right.
151
00:06:03,428 --> 00:06:05,462
Well, let's do this
again, you guys.
152
00:06:05,530 --> 00:06:07,214
Yeah,
we'll check our schedule!
153
00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:12,386
That was fun.
154
00:06:12,454 --> 00:06:14,521
That was fun.
155
00:06:27,618 --> 00:06:30,554
OK, I win again.
You just scratched.
156
00:06:30,621 --> 00:06:32,341
Obviously you're not
familiar with the rules
157
00:06:32,366 --> 00:06:34,658
of north European billiards.
158
00:06:34,726 --> 00:06:37,344
I can't believe
you brought Arthur here.
159
00:06:37,412 --> 00:06:39,652
We needed a fourth to get the
booth. What's the big deal?
160
00:06:39,664 --> 00:06:41,344
The big deal is,
when he gets into a fight,
161
00:06:41,399 --> 00:06:43,400
I'm the one who's gonna
have to stop it,
162
00:06:43,468 --> 00:06:46,002
and this is too damn pretty.
163
00:06:46,070 --> 00:06:47,337
Who was light beer?
164
00:06:47,405 --> 00:06:49,439
Oh, that'd be me.
165
00:06:49,507 --> 00:06:50,758
Watching the old waistline.
166
00:06:50,826 --> 00:06:53,293
Gotta fit into my bikini
for the Summer, right?
167
00:06:53,361 --> 00:06:55,679
Right. And 2 heinekens.
168
00:06:57,215 --> 00:06:58,849
Damn, that was rough.
169
00:07:00,585 --> 00:07:02,785
Yeah, guy. A little tip when
you try to pick up chicks--
170
00:07:02,810 --> 00:07:05,245
don't make them
picture you in a bikini.
171
00:07:06,007 --> 00:07:07,791
Can I borrow some cash?
172
00:07:07,858 --> 00:07:10,018
No more money, Arthur. You
stink at pool. Deal with it.
173
00:07:10,078 --> 00:07:12,396
I'll play you right now
for a million dollars.
174
00:07:12,463 --> 00:07:15,182
You already owe me 8 million
from pinball. Sit down.
175
00:07:22,290 --> 00:07:23,723
I'm hot.
176
00:07:23,791 --> 00:07:25,725
Then take off your sweater.
177
00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:28,395
Oh, you'd like that,
wouldn't you?
178
00:07:30,131 --> 00:07:31,465
Fine, then be hot.
179
00:07:32,517 --> 00:07:35,202
OK, you win.
Enjoy the show.
180
00:07:42,410 --> 00:07:44,077
Do you want some help
with that, Arthur?
181
00:07:44,145 --> 00:07:47,981
I think I can take off
my own sweater, thank you.
182
00:07:51,986 --> 00:07:54,655
Is someone gonna
help me or what?
183
00:07:55,423 --> 00:07:57,307
Come here.
Come here.
184
00:07:59,076 --> 00:08:00,777
Give me that,
185
00:08:00,845 --> 00:08:02,746
and... there.
186
00:08:02,813 --> 00:08:05,031
That was terrifying.
187
00:08:05,099 --> 00:08:07,568
I'm gonna need
a men's room pronto.
188
00:08:09,553 --> 00:08:11,354
Here are your wings.
189
00:08:11,422 --> 00:08:12,355
Thanks.
190
00:08:12,423 --> 00:08:13,957
Was that your grandfather?
191
00:08:14,025 --> 00:08:16,293
Who, him?
No, that's just some guy.
192
00:08:16,361 --> 00:08:18,045
Oh. You know,
so many people
193
00:08:18,112 --> 00:08:19,547
take the elderly for granted,
194
00:08:19,614 --> 00:08:21,916
it's really sweet seeing you
take care of him like that.
195
00:08:21,983 --> 00:08:23,783
It is?
196
00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:25,435
Sure. It shows
you have a big heart.
197
00:08:25,503 --> 00:08:27,070
I like that.
198
00:08:27,138 --> 00:08:28,472
Oh, ho.
199
00:08:28,539 --> 00:08:29,473
She likes that.
200
00:08:29,540 --> 00:08:30,558
Huh!
201
00:08:30,625 --> 00:08:31,892
OK, false alarm.
202
00:08:31,959 --> 00:08:33,394
Oh, hey, there's the man.
203
00:08:33,461 --> 00:08:34,961
Huh?
Come here.
204
00:08:35,029 --> 00:08:37,731
You got a little,
uh, shmutz on your face.
205
00:08:44,071 --> 00:08:46,173
Oh, you're sick, Emily?
206
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,425
That's too bad.
207
00:08:48,492 --> 00:08:51,328
Hey, maybe it's from smelling Mr.
Duchet's Cologne, right? Ha ha!
208
00:08:51,395 --> 00:08:53,063
Oh, OK, you gotta go?
209
00:08:53,131 --> 00:08:55,499
All right. OK. Bye-bye.
210
00:08:55,566 --> 00:08:56,934
Crap.
211
00:08:57,002 --> 00:08:58,719
What's the matter, babe?
212
00:08:58,787 --> 00:09:00,804
Emily and Peter
blew us off again tonight.
213
00:09:00,872 --> 00:09:03,357
Really? That's weird.
214
00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:06,460
They said they had to
go bird shopping.
215
00:09:06,528 --> 00:09:09,729
Who goes bird shopping
on a Saturday night?
216
00:09:09,797 --> 00:09:12,166
Who goes bird shopping?
217
00:09:12,233 --> 00:09:13,734
People like birds.
218
00:09:13,802 --> 00:09:15,569
I almost got a parrot once,
219
00:09:15,603 --> 00:09:17,905
till I found out
they live to be 80.
220
00:09:17,973 --> 00:09:20,774
I don't need my pet
outliving me.
221
00:09:20,842 --> 00:09:22,392
I just don't understand it.
222
00:09:22,460 --> 00:09:24,894
I mean, I thought
we all hit it off.
223
00:09:24,962 --> 00:09:26,896
How can they not like us?
224
00:09:26,964 --> 00:09:28,398
I don't know.
I mean...
225
00:09:28,466 --> 00:09:29,899
There are people
out in the world
226
00:09:29,967 --> 00:09:32,001
who don't like squirt cheese.
227
00:09:32,987 --> 00:09:37,057
But we all gotta share
this big spinning rock.
228
00:09:37,892 --> 00:09:39,075
I mean, you were funny.
229
00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:40,410
I know they liked you.
230
00:09:40,478 --> 00:09:42,779
Well, that's true.
I'm-I'm electric.
231
00:09:44,482 --> 00:09:47,250
Do you think it was me?
232
00:09:48,803 --> 00:09:51,004
No.
233
00:09:51,072 --> 00:09:52,422
My God, was it me?
234
00:09:52,490 --> 00:09:54,257
No, no, no.
You're fun and... feisty.
235
00:09:54,325 --> 00:09:55,759
What do you mean, I'm feisty?
236
00:09:55,827 --> 00:09:57,794
Like I came on too strong?
237
00:09:57,862 --> 00:10:00,046
Not at all. You didn't, no. I mean...
238
00:10:00,114 --> 00:10:01,114
Although...
239
00:10:01,182 --> 00:10:02,399
No, no, no-
what?
240
00:10:02,466 --> 00:10:03,934
It's nothing!
What? Just tell me!
241
00:10:04,002 --> 00:10:05,202
OK, you--
242
00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:07,438
you remember at dinner
when you...
243
00:10:07,505 --> 00:10:10,608
Asked the busboy, like,
3 times for lemons?
244
00:10:10,675 --> 00:10:13,444
I thought I saw Peter and Emily
throw each other a look, like...
245
00:10:13,511 --> 00:10:16,046
"OK..."
246
00:10:16,114 --> 00:10:19,299
Oh, my God,
I can't believe it.
247
00:10:19,367 --> 00:10:21,247
Hey, I love it when you
mix it up with the help,
248
00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:25,122
but maybe they're just not
hip enough to "get" you.
249
00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:27,858
You know, it's their loss.
250
00:10:27,925 --> 00:10:29,485
I just thought
this would be a great way
251
00:10:29,552 --> 00:10:31,272
to open up our world
a little bit, you know?
252
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:32,313
Yeah, but, you know,
253
00:10:32,380 --> 00:10:34,648
we got a great world
right here in Queens,
254
00:10:34,716 --> 00:10:37,484
with great friends who...
255
00:10:37,552 --> 00:10:39,986
Love us for who we are.
256
00:10:41,889 --> 00:10:43,957
You're right, honey.
257
00:10:46,394 --> 00:10:47,761
Thanks, babe.
258
00:10:51,332 --> 00:10:54,401
And all is quiet in the dome.
259
00:11:04,963 --> 00:11:06,096
Oh, hey, Emily.
260
00:11:06,164 --> 00:11:07,430
Hey, Carrie.
261
00:11:10,969 --> 00:11:13,737
I just got, like, 70 more.
262
00:11:16,474 --> 00:11:18,525
So did you guys end up, uh,
263
00:11:18,593 --> 00:11:20,694
getting that bird or...
264
00:11:20,762 --> 00:11:21,779
Oh, no. No.
265
00:11:21,929 --> 00:11:24,030
We looked around,
but we couldn't agree on one.
266
00:11:24,098 --> 00:11:25,131
Yeah, it's hard.
267
00:11:31,039 --> 00:11:32,839
Emily, uh...
268
00:11:32,907 --> 00:11:34,657
Can I ask you a question?
269
00:11:34,725 --> 00:11:35,909
Sure.
270
00:11:35,976 --> 00:11:37,661
Uh, did I do anything
the other night
271
00:11:37,729 --> 00:11:40,364
to offend you in any way?
272
00:11:40,432 --> 00:11:41,682
No, no. Not at all.
273
00:11:41,750 --> 00:11:43,817
I know I can be
opinionated sometimes.
274
00:11:43,885 --> 00:11:45,619
I talk before I think,
and I--
275
00:11:45,687 --> 00:11:47,237
Carrie, I think you're great.
276
00:11:47,305 --> 00:11:48,471
Really.
277
00:11:48,539 --> 00:11:49,306
You do?
278
00:11:49,374 --> 00:11:50,390
Yeah.
279
00:11:50,458 --> 00:11:51,658
Oh.
280
00:11:51,726 --> 00:11:54,260
Then you guys want to
get together this weekend?
281
00:11:54,328 --> 00:11:56,796
Yeah, um... I don't think so.
282
00:11:57,998 --> 00:11:59,933
OK. I mean,
if you like me so much,
283
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,536
how come you never want
to hang out with us?
284
00:12:02,603 --> 00:12:04,888
Carrie... it's not you.
285
00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:08,108
Did you lift your shirt
286
00:12:08,176 --> 00:12:10,310
and make them touch
your belly hair?!
287
00:12:11,980 --> 00:12:14,481
What?!
288
00:12:14,549 --> 00:12:15,532
Did you?
289
00:12:15,599 --> 00:12:16,799
I lifted my what
and made who--
290
00:12:16,834 --> 00:12:19,235
I- I-I-I can't even
follow what you're saying!
291
00:12:19,303 --> 00:12:21,605
You lifted your shirt
and made Peter and Emily
292
00:12:21,673 --> 00:12:23,106
touch your belly hair!
293
00:12:23,174 --> 00:12:25,134
Oh, yeah, OK, yeah, and then
I threw on a g-string
294
00:12:25,159 --> 00:12:27,745
and gave Peter
a lap dance. Yeah.
295
00:12:27,812 --> 00:12:29,580
Oh, yeah, OK, Doug, what are
you saying, Emily's lying?
296
00:12:29,647 --> 00:12:30,681
Why would she lie?
297
00:12:30,749 --> 00:12:31,748
Oh, come on. Yeah--
298
00:12:31,816 --> 00:12:33,917
I lifted up my shirt
and I made them touch me.
299
00:12:33,984 --> 00:12:35,885
That's what I did.
300
00:12:35,953 --> 00:12:37,087
Oh, God.
301
00:12:37,155 --> 00:12:38,588
10 years together, Carrie.
302
00:12:38,656 --> 00:12:42,092
10 years,
you think you know a person.
303
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:43,927
Unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
304
00:12:43,995 --> 00:12:47,231
This-this stings a little.
This-this stings...
305
00:12:47,298 --> 00:12:49,683
All right, l-look,
I know it sounds crazy,
306
00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:50,951
but why would she...
307
00:12:51,019 --> 00:12:52,119
I don't know, you know,
308
00:12:52,187 --> 00:12:54,054
but maybe it's because
you guys work together
309
00:12:54,122 --> 00:12:56,472
and she didn't want
to hurt your feelings,
310
00:12:56,541 --> 00:12:57,807
so she blamed me.
311
00:12:57,875 --> 00:13:00,443
It's all right. I'm a
big boy. I can take it.
312
00:13:01,779 --> 00:13:03,997
Honey, I am so sorry.
313
00:13:04,064 --> 00:13:05,966
No, no, no, no, no.
No, you know what?
314
00:13:06,034 --> 00:13:08,969
I'm sorry that you have to
put up with people like her.
315
00:13:09,037 --> 00:13:11,237
I just don't know
what's going on with me.
316
00:13:11,305 --> 00:13:12,785
It's like I can't
read people anymore.
317
00:13:12,807 --> 00:13:15,441
Is it because I've been
out of work for so long?
318
00:13:15,509 --> 00:13:19,246
We can analyze this
till we're blue in the face...
319
00:13:19,313 --> 00:13:20,747
The point is,
320
00:13:20,814 --> 00:13:22,682
it's behind us.
321
00:13:22,750 --> 00:13:23,750
You know what?
322
00:13:23,818 --> 00:13:25,251
You are right.
323
00:13:25,319 --> 00:13:27,487
Screw Emily kornbluth.
324
00:13:27,555 --> 00:13:29,005
Yeah!
325
00:13:29,073 --> 00:13:32,075
There are plenty of people at
my office we could hang out with.
326
00:13:36,497 --> 00:13:37,764
So how much would it take
327
00:13:37,832 --> 00:13:40,817
for you guys to get it
on in front of me, huh?
328
00:13:55,516 --> 00:13:56,867
May I?
329
00:13:56,934 --> 00:13:57,868
Thank you.
330
00:14:11,249 --> 00:14:12,599
Come on.
We've all wondered
331
00:14:12,667 --> 00:14:15,034
what human flesh
tastes like, right?
332
00:14:16,553 --> 00:14:18,838
So, seriously...
You in?
333
00:14:35,723 --> 00:14:39,092
There you go, big guy.
How's that feel?
334
00:14:39,159 --> 00:14:42,229
It didn't really hurt to begin
with, but I'm not hatin' it.
335
00:14:42,296 --> 00:14:44,797
How low could you go without
feeling uncomfortable?
336
00:14:44,865 --> 00:14:47,500
As low as the law
allows, my friend.
337
00:14:47,568 --> 00:14:49,869
Oh, I'll be back
in just a second.
338
00:14:54,408 --> 00:14:56,175
Hey, Kate, how's it goin'?
339
00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:57,260
Oh, hey.
340
00:14:57,328 --> 00:14:59,229
Yeah. Just, uh,
knockin' one back
341
00:14:59,297 --> 00:15:00,997
with my old pal Arthur.
342
00:15:01,065 --> 00:15:04,050
God, his own family keeps him
locked in a basement all day.
343
00:15:04,118 --> 00:15:05,719
It's sad.
344
00:15:05,786 --> 00:15:09,288
Damn it, I said I wasn't
gonna cry about this.
345
00:15:09,356 --> 00:15:11,637
Oh, yeah, but, you know, it
looks like you and your friend
346
00:15:11,662 --> 00:15:12,925
take really good care of him.
347
00:15:12,993 --> 00:15:14,461
What?
348
00:15:14,528 --> 00:15:17,981
Yeah, I guess looking
after him is a lot of work.
349
00:15:18,048 --> 00:15:20,366
It doesn't feel like
work, though.
350
00:15:20,434 --> 00:15:23,603
It feels a lot more like love.
351
00:15:23,671 --> 00:15:25,338
I love you, too, Daniel.
352
00:15:25,405 --> 00:15:27,240
Now, give me a nice crisp part
353
00:15:27,308 --> 00:15:29,542
like desi arnaz.
354
00:15:29,610 --> 00:15:31,311
What are you doing?
355
00:15:31,378 --> 00:15:32,946
Arthur's hair
was a little messy,
356
00:15:33,014 --> 00:15:34,514
so I'm fixing it.
357
00:15:34,581 --> 00:15:36,550
OK, leave him alone.
This is my thing.
358
00:15:36,617 --> 00:15:37,617
Well, now it's our thing.
359
00:15:37,685 --> 00:15:38,952
No, it isn't.
360
00:15:39,020 --> 00:15:40,620
Why don't you go away,
all right? I'm doing his hair.
361
00:15:40,688 --> 00:15:41,838
Uh, hey, look at the
time. I gotta feed you.
362
00:15:41,906 --> 00:15:42,873
Here. Have a breadstick.
363
00:15:43,024 --> 00:15:44,291
I don't want a breadstick.
364
00:15:44,359 --> 00:15:45,292
Yes, you do.
365
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:46,726
Sesame seeds
make my gums inflamed.
366
00:15:46,794 --> 00:15:48,061
Hey, come eat.
This way.
367
00:15:48,129 --> 00:15:49,229
Hey, now stop it!
368
00:15:49,297 --> 00:15:50,737
The two of you
have been grooming me,
369
00:15:50,762 --> 00:15:52,215
you've been feeding me...
370
00:15:52,283 --> 00:15:54,451
Letting me sit on your lap.
371
00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:56,169
What gives?
372
00:15:56,236 --> 00:15:57,904
It's just...
373
00:15:57,972 --> 00:16:00,073
It turns out women
kind of like it
374
00:16:00,141 --> 00:16:02,042
when they see us
taking care of you.
375
00:16:02,109 --> 00:16:05,195
So I'm only here so you can
use me as old man bait?
376
00:16:05,262 --> 00:16:06,896
You make me sick.
377
00:16:06,964 --> 00:16:10,600
Now, finish my desi
and then I'm outta here.
378
00:16:14,304 --> 00:16:16,906
Hey, did I tell you that
Kelly's on the steering committee
379
00:16:16,974 --> 00:16:19,242
for Kirby's middle school?
380
00:16:19,309 --> 00:16:21,811
No, but back that story up,
381
00:16:21,879 --> 00:16:24,013
'cause I don't want
to miss a thing.
382
00:16:24,081 --> 00:16:26,099
Come on, man.
I'm in trouble here.
383
00:16:26,167 --> 00:16:28,567
She's trying to make friends
with this couple she met there--
384
00:16:28,592 --> 00:16:29,335
George and viola.
385
00:16:29,403 --> 00:16:33,289
I need to know how this
whole dome business works.
386
00:16:33,357 --> 00:16:36,409
Oh, so somebody wants a
little help from the master.
387
00:16:36,477 --> 00:16:37,757
Yeah, yeah.
Walk me through this.
388
00:16:37,825 --> 00:16:39,326
How do I make
these people disappear?
389
00:16:39,394 --> 00:16:42,448
Well, the first thing you
do is you go out with them.
390
00:16:42,516 --> 00:16:45,451
OK, you be charming, and pretend
you're having a great time.
391
00:16:45,519 --> 00:16:48,955
And when Kelly leaves the
room, you make your move.
392
00:16:49,023 --> 00:16:50,256
What do I do?
393
00:16:50,324 --> 00:16:52,091
Well, there are
a lot of options.
394
00:16:52,159 --> 00:16:56,095
But I'm gonna start you off
with a basic shirt lift.
395
00:16:56,163 --> 00:16:59,199
You mean like this?
396
00:16:59,266 --> 00:17:02,401
You know what? You
don't have a ton of hair.
397
00:17:02,469 --> 00:17:04,470
You might want to go nipple.
398
00:17:06,907 --> 00:17:07,807
All right, fine.
399
00:17:07,959 --> 00:17:09,559
Anything else?
400
00:17:09,626 --> 00:17:12,679
Sometimes I like to throw
in a crazy look, like...
401
00:17:15,449 --> 00:17:17,367
That really works?
402
00:17:17,435 --> 00:17:19,252
I have yet to find
a glitch in the system.
403
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:23,256
Everybody hates me, I hate
them, and I am quitting.
404
00:17:23,323 --> 00:17:24,490
That's it. I've had it.
405
00:17:26,493 --> 00:17:28,211
And there's the first glitch.
406
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:36,402
Hey, babe. You're not really thinking
about quitting your job, are you?
407
00:17:36,470 --> 00:17:39,005
Yeah, I am. OK? I'm looking
through the want ads right now.
408
00:17:39,073 --> 00:17:40,507
I refuse to work with people
409
00:17:40,575 --> 00:17:42,375
that I have to beg
to be my friend, all right?
410
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,111
I'm a very sweet
and nice person.
411
00:17:44,178 --> 00:17:46,313
They can all bite me.
412
00:17:46,380 --> 00:17:47,981
You just had a bad day.
413
00:17:48,048 --> 00:17:49,928
Hey, you know what? I
know what'll cheer you up.
414
00:17:49,953 --> 00:17:51,484
How about we
grab some Chinese, huh?
415
00:17:51,551 --> 00:17:52,519
No, I'm not hungry.
416
00:17:52,586 --> 00:17:53,820
Come on.
We could make fun
417
00:17:53,887 --> 00:17:56,722
of Mr. Chang's lisp, order
some thweet and thour thoup.
418
00:17:56,790 --> 00:17:58,809
No. You know what?
I'm just gonna go to bed.
419
00:18:01,595 --> 00:18:04,097
Look, you just got this job.
You can't quit.
420
00:18:04,165 --> 00:18:06,500
You know what? Find someone
else. We'll go out with them.
421
00:18:06,567 --> 00:18:07,417
No.
422
00:18:07,484 --> 00:18:08,884
It'll work out
this time. I know it.
423
00:18:08,909 --> 00:18:10,420
Really? How do you
know that, Doug?
424
00:18:10,488 --> 00:18:13,105
Because this time you won't
yell at a busboy about lemons,
425
00:18:13,173 --> 00:18:16,242
and I won't
"lift my shirt."
426
00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:19,501
Come on. You work with,
like, a million people.
427
00:18:19,526 --> 00:18:21,995
There's gotta be someone
there we can go out with.
428
00:18:23,017 --> 00:18:25,051
Well, I kind of know
the newsstand lady
429
00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:26,552
that works in the lobby.
430
00:18:26,620 --> 00:18:27,854
Perfect. There we go--
431
00:18:27,921 --> 00:18:30,624
me, you, newsstand lady,
Mr. Newsstand Lady--
432
00:18:30,691 --> 00:18:32,359
we'll all paint the town.
433
00:18:32,426 --> 00:18:34,093
OK.
434
00:18:34,161 --> 00:18:35,962
All right? Now let's
talk Mr. Chang's, huh?
435
00:18:36,030 --> 00:18:38,131
Thweet and thour thoup,
thethame chicken--
436
00:18:38,199 --> 00:18:39,399
and anything else?
437
00:18:39,467 --> 00:18:42,168
Thpare ribth?
438
00:18:42,235 --> 00:18:44,504
That's my girl.
439
00:18:48,709 --> 00:18:50,226
There you go, Whitey.
440
00:18:50,294 --> 00:18:52,896
It seems you had some
marshmallow on your chin.
441
00:18:52,963 --> 00:18:54,130
You put it there.
442
00:18:54,197 --> 00:18:56,482
You want your 5 bucks,
then shut up!
443
00:18:57,818 --> 00:19:01,087
Just, uh, taking care
of my old friend here.
444
00:19:04,491 --> 00:19:07,093
Arthur, uh, we just came by
445
00:19:07,161 --> 00:19:08,427
to say we're sorry.
446
00:19:08,495 --> 00:19:10,563
Yeah, we didn't mean
to hurt your feelings.
447
00:19:10,630 --> 00:19:14,100
Buzz off. I got my own
thing working right now.
448
00:19:14,168 --> 00:19:15,434
Wait-wait a minute.
449
00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:18,004
You're doing exactly
what you yelled at us for.
450
00:19:18,072 --> 00:19:19,272
Doing what?
451
00:19:19,340 --> 00:19:22,091
Never mind what I'm doing!
Just look pathetic.
452
00:19:22,159 --> 00:19:25,261
He's using you because
women are attracted to men
453
00:19:25,329 --> 00:19:27,496
who take care of the elderly.
454
00:19:27,564 --> 00:19:28,781
Really?
455
00:19:28,849 --> 00:19:31,717
Then I'm gonna call
my uncle Carl.
456
00:19:36,424 --> 00:19:39,525
At first we just
sold newspapers.
457
00:19:39,593 --> 00:19:42,628
Then I got the idea
to sell gum and candy.
458
00:19:42,696 --> 00:19:45,298
Then I put in the chip rack,
459
00:19:45,366 --> 00:19:46,799
and knock on wood,
460
00:19:46,867 --> 00:19:50,703
next month we're getting
a chapstick dispenser.
461
00:19:50,771 --> 00:19:54,040
Wow. It's a good time
in our lives.
462
00:19:54,108 --> 00:19:56,142
Well, I'm gonna get
some more coffee.
463
00:19:56,210 --> 00:19:58,378
How are you guys?
You OK? Cheryl? Dennis?
464
00:19:58,446 --> 00:20:00,046
We're fine.
Uh, good.
465
00:20:00,114 --> 00:20:03,950
OK. Well, just let me know
if anything bothers you. OK?
466
00:20:04,018 --> 00:20:05,568
All right.
467
00:20:05,635 --> 00:20:07,903
Hey, you guys
ever play Balderdash?
468
00:20:07,971 --> 00:20:09,188
Hmm?
469
00:20:09,256 --> 00:20:10,657
The board game.
470
00:20:10,725 --> 00:20:13,493
You make up fake
dictionary definitions.
471
00:20:13,561 --> 00:20:15,161
It's hilarious.
472
00:20:15,229 --> 00:20:17,997
We're in a league every
Tuesday and Friday.
473
00:20:18,065 --> 00:20:19,499
Maybe you could join.
474
00:20:19,567 --> 00:20:22,969
"If you love words,
you'll love Balderdash."
475
00:20:24,638 --> 00:20:27,407
Yeah. And Dennis here,
476
00:20:27,475 --> 00:20:30,310
he always makes
this incredible chili.
477
00:20:30,377 --> 00:20:32,295
It is delicious.
478
00:20:32,363 --> 00:20:33,563
No meat.
479
00:20:33,631 --> 00:20:35,665
All tofu.
480
00:20:35,733 --> 00:20:37,333
And...
481
00:20:37,401 --> 00:20:40,102
We get totally drunk.
482
00:20:40,170 --> 00:20:41,521
On fun!
483
00:20:41,589 --> 00:20:45,041
Ha ha ha ha ha!
484
00:20:45,109 --> 00:20:46,829
Is this a lot of hair
right here? Seriously.
485
00:20:46,854 --> 00:20:47,971
Huh?
486
00:20:49,346 --> 00:20:51,181
Hey...
34276
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