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1
00:00:35,934 --> 00:00:37,885
Hello?
2
00:00:37,953 --> 00:00:40,154
Oh, hey, Janet.
3
00:00:40,222 --> 00:00:42,172
Yeah, we got our tickets.
4
00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:45,292
Yeah, we can't wait
to see you either.
5
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,895
Uh, OK. It's your mom.
6
00:00:47,963 --> 00:00:49,930
She wants to know if we
still like corn chex.
7
00:00:51,299 --> 00:00:53,600
Uh, yeah.
8
00:00:53,668 --> 00:00:55,953
Yeah, that's a green light
on the corn chex.
9
00:00:56,021 --> 00:00:58,856
OK. Bye-bye, hon.
10
00:00:58,923 --> 00:01:01,459
OK, that's the 14th call
about our trip.
11
00:01:01,527 --> 00:01:04,087
You know my mom. She just wants
it to be great for us down there.
12
00:01:04,112 --> 00:01:05,213
No, I know.
I love your mom.
13
00:01:05,313 --> 00:01:07,031
I just wish she didn't
have to work so hard
14
00:01:07,098 --> 00:01:09,399
when we come there.
15
00:01:09,467 --> 00:01:11,869
Hey, maybe this time
we can take the burden off her
16
00:01:11,937 --> 00:01:15,072
and stay in a hotel
or something.
17
00:01:15,140 --> 00:01:17,941
A hotel. Interesting.
18
00:01:18,009 --> 00:01:18,942
Isn't it?
19
00:01:19,010 --> 00:01:20,450
Yeah. You know
what else we could do?
20
00:01:20,475 --> 00:01:23,013
We could smack her
in the face with a shovel.
21
00:01:23,081 --> 00:01:25,032
Would you just think of it
for a moment?
22
00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:28,402
I mean, we'd see your parents
just as much during the day,
23
00:01:28,470 --> 00:01:30,204
get in all
that family goodness,
24
00:01:30,272 --> 00:01:31,792
and then at night
we'd stay in a hotel.
25
00:01:31,806 --> 00:01:33,007
We have a little privacy,
26
00:01:33,074 --> 00:01:34,976
you know,
without all their stuff
27
00:01:35,043 --> 00:01:38,779
that makes us
a little crazy. Heh.
28
00:01:38,847 --> 00:01:40,882
Uh, what-what stuff?
29
00:01:40,949 --> 00:01:41,883
Doug, come on. Like--
30
00:01:41,950 --> 00:01:44,335
like the fact that we can't
leave the house after 8:00
31
00:01:44,402 --> 00:01:45,970
because they set the alarm
32
00:01:46,037 --> 00:01:50,540
and it's too complicated
to teach us a 4-digit code.
33
00:01:50,608 --> 00:01:53,177
Followed by "pound."
34
00:01:53,244 --> 00:01:54,812
And once that red light is on,
35
00:01:54,879 --> 00:01:55,929
we are stuck there!
36
00:01:55,997 --> 00:01:59,016
Do you know in prison,
they call that lockdown?
37
00:01:59,084 --> 00:02:01,185
So now staying at
my parents' is like prison?
38
00:02:01,253 --> 00:02:02,352
No, because in prison
39
00:02:02,387 --> 00:02:06,006
you could actually flush
the toilet past 8:30.
40
00:02:06,074 --> 00:02:07,154
They're light sleepers, OK?
41
00:02:07,179 --> 00:02:09,247
And by the way, I'm not
quite sure prison
42
00:02:13,831 --> 00:02:14,849
this is about you.
43
00:02:14,916 --> 00:02:17,334
You're saying you would
actually rather stay
44
00:02:17,402 --> 00:02:20,037
in your parents'
retirement complex
45
00:02:20,105 --> 00:02:21,338
than in a beautiful room
46
00:02:21,406 --> 00:02:24,508
stocked with liquor
and dirty movies?
47
00:02:33,368 --> 00:02:35,569
No!
48
00:02:35,637 --> 00:02:36,797
But we can't stay in a hotel.
49
00:02:36,805 --> 00:02:38,139
OK? We just can't!
50
00:02:38,174 --> 00:02:39,473
Look, Doug-OK, look,
51
00:02:39,541 --> 00:02:41,775
your mom will be upset
for a minute, OK,
52
00:02:41,810 --> 00:02:43,244
but then she'll get over it,
53
00:02:43,312 --> 00:02:45,679
and we're adults here!
We're in our thirties.
54
00:02:45,747 --> 00:02:47,248
We're allowed to do this.
55
00:02:47,316 --> 00:02:49,400
It's like that time
you finally realized
56
00:02:49,467 --> 00:02:52,419
you can have cookies
before dinner.
57
00:02:53,922 --> 00:02:56,189
You told me I couldn't
have cookies before dinner.
58
00:02:56,257 --> 00:02:57,992
You can't, OK?
59
00:02:58,060 --> 00:02:59,780
I'm just saying your parents
aren't the ones
60
00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:00,728
who are stopping you.
61
00:03:00,795 --> 00:03:02,315
OK, you know what?
My head is spinning.
62
00:03:02,380 --> 00:03:04,661
If I go get a cookie right
now, what's gonna happen to me?
63
00:03:04,686 --> 00:03:05,799
Doug...
64
00:03:05,851 --> 00:03:08,552
Please, honey, let's just
do this this one time, OK?
65
00:03:08,570 --> 00:03:09,720
We set the precedent.
66
00:03:09,787 --> 00:03:11,755
We never have to have
this conversation again.
67
00:03:11,823 --> 00:03:13,274
I will dial the number
for you, OK?
68
00:03:13,341 --> 00:03:15,301
Your fingers don't even
have to touch the buttons.
69
00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:16,370
Please? Come on, honey.
70
00:03:16,437 --> 00:03:17,561
Come on. I'm calling.
71
00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:21,148
All right, all right.
Let's do it.
72
00:03:21,216 --> 00:03:24,168
She'll be fine, I promise.
73
00:03:24,235 --> 00:03:25,702
Hey, mom.
74
00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:27,371
Uh, look, Carrie
and I were talking,
75
00:03:27,438 --> 00:03:29,306
and we need to tell
you something.
76
00:03:29,374 --> 00:03:31,525
Uh, we've...
77
00:03:31,592 --> 00:03:34,594
Kind of turned against
the corn chex.
78
00:03:40,201 --> 00:03:42,102
You know what skill
I realized I have?
79
00:03:42,170 --> 00:03:43,971
I can tell who's doing
the voice-over
80
00:03:44,038 --> 00:03:45,072
on any commercial.
81
00:03:45,140 --> 00:03:47,375
And I'm not talkin' James
Earl Jones for verizon.
82
00:03:47,442 --> 00:03:48,942
All right? That's kid stuff.
83
00:03:49,010 --> 00:03:52,079
I'm talkin' Lisa kudrow
for aquafina.
84
00:03:52,147 --> 00:03:54,581
Yeah, it's her.
85
00:03:54,649 --> 00:03:55,800
You wanna talk skills?
86
00:03:55,867 --> 00:03:59,503
I can always tell whether
a dog is a girl or a boy.
87
00:03:59,571 --> 00:04:01,011
You mean, without
looking underneath?
88
00:04:01,079 --> 00:04:02,639
Yeah, see, that's
what makes it a skill.
89
00:04:02,664 --> 00:04:05,243
See, otherwise,
it's just looking.
90
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,562
Wow, I really missed
these conversations
91
00:04:08,629 --> 00:04:10,130
when we were separated.
92
00:04:10,198 --> 00:04:13,283
What's her problem?
She ain't got no skills?
93
00:04:13,351 --> 00:04:14,335
She's just mad
94
00:04:14,403 --> 00:04:16,243
'cause I'm making her
go skiing for a vacation.
95
00:04:16,268 --> 00:04:17,471
Oh, it's too damn cold.
96
00:04:17,539 --> 00:04:19,790
Hey, when are you guys
going on vacation?
97
00:04:19,857 --> 00:04:21,642
Next week. He's dragging me
up to some lodge in Vermont.
98
00:04:21,709 --> 00:04:22,749
Yeah, it's gonna be great.
99
00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:23,884
Fun for us and fun for them
100
00:04:23,952 --> 00:04:26,814
to see what black people look like.
101
00:04:26,882 --> 00:04:29,383
Um, Doug, come with me
to the salad bar.
102
00:04:29,451 --> 00:04:30,934
What?
103
00:04:31,002 --> 00:04:33,471
Come with me to the salad bar.
104
00:04:33,538 --> 00:04:36,740
Uh, I don't eat the salad
when it's brought to me.
105
00:04:36,807 --> 00:04:39,276
Definitely not makin'
a special trip for it.
106
00:04:39,344 --> 00:04:41,295
They have a taco section.
107
00:04:41,363 --> 00:04:43,030
Really?
Mm-hmm.
108
00:04:48,536 --> 00:04:50,804
OK, where-where's
the taco section?
109
00:04:50,872 --> 00:04:52,506
Listen, I lied, OK?
110
00:04:52,574 --> 00:04:55,775
You lied?
OK, I'm a person.
111
00:04:55,843 --> 00:04:57,929
Doug, listen to me.
Deacon and Kelly
112
00:04:57,996 --> 00:05:01,498
are going on vacation
the same time as us.
113
00:05:01,566 --> 00:05:03,167
So? So if we talk them into going
114
00:05:03,235 --> 00:05:05,285
to Florida with us instead,
115
00:05:05,353 --> 00:05:07,121
we can't stay at
your parents' house.
116
00:05:07,188 --> 00:05:08,548
They don't have
enough room for us!
117
00:05:08,573 --> 00:05:10,357
We have to stay in a hotel!
118
00:05:10,425 --> 00:05:12,592
You see? That way, your
parents are not offended,
119
00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:14,094
and we set our precedent,
120
00:05:14,162 --> 00:05:15,695
and everybody's happy!
121
00:05:15,763 --> 00:05:16,883
Oh, my God, they're looking.
122
00:05:16,931 --> 00:05:19,116
Get some salad,
get some salad.
123
00:05:19,184 --> 00:05:21,768
OK, but Deacon and Kelly aren't
gonna change their vacation
124
00:05:21,836 --> 00:05:23,170
just so we don't have
to stay at my parents'.
125
00:05:23,238 --> 00:05:25,039
I know. We don't
tell them that part.
126
00:05:25,106 --> 00:05:27,824
We just say, "you know, we
haven't all gone away together
127
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,560
since you guys
got back together",
128
00:05:29,628 --> 00:05:31,194
how it's all
about the foursome,
129
00:05:31,263 --> 00:05:32,563
blah, blah, blah.
130
00:05:32,631 --> 00:05:34,231
Kelly doesn't wanna
go to Vermont anyway.
131
00:05:34,256 --> 00:05:35,766
She'll be all over this!
132
00:05:35,833 --> 00:05:36,917
This could work.
133
00:05:36,985 --> 00:05:38,368
Hey, what are you doing?
134
00:05:38,436 --> 00:05:40,396
I- I don't know. I panicked.
I went all baby corn.
135
00:05:40,464 --> 00:05:42,584
All right, put some dressing
on, put some dressing on!
136
00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:44,008
OK. All right,
let's do this.
137
00:05:44,076 --> 00:05:45,398
But don't sit too close
to me, 'cause I'm
138
00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:47,091
gonna accidentally knock
this on the floor.
139
00:05:47,116 --> 00:05:48,049
OK. Come on.
140
00:05:52,834 --> 00:05:54,668
So, look at us,
141
00:05:54,736 --> 00:05:56,570
all four of us together.
142
00:05:56,638 --> 00:05:58,672
This is great.
This is great.
143
00:05:58,740 --> 00:06:00,574
I wonder what else
we could do?
144
00:06:03,612 --> 00:06:05,979
You see? I told you
this would work out.
145
00:06:06,047 --> 00:06:07,367
I guess your mother
didn't take us
146
00:06:07,392 --> 00:06:09,426
staying at the hotel
too hard, huh?
147
00:06:12,270 --> 00:06:14,388
I said, "huh?"
148
00:06:16,491 --> 00:06:18,959
Oh, my God!
149
00:06:19,027 --> 00:06:21,595
I tried to tell her.
I couldn't!
150
00:06:21,663 --> 00:06:22,880
There they are!
151
00:06:22,948 --> 00:06:24,965
Hi, kids! Hi! Hey!
152
00:06:25,033 --> 00:06:27,301
Ohh!
Hi!
153
00:06:27,368 --> 00:06:29,136
Hi, how you doin', dad?
Nice to see you.
154
00:06:29,203 --> 00:06:31,371
Hi, sweetheart.
Hi.
155
00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:32,506
You kids look great!
156
00:06:32,574 --> 00:06:34,207
Don't they look great, Joe?
157
00:06:34,476 --> 00:06:36,036
Why aren't you standing
under the chute
158
00:06:36,061 --> 00:06:37,594
where the bags come out? What?
159
00:06:37,612 --> 00:06:38,972
Now we'll be stuck
at the other end
160
00:06:38,997 --> 00:06:40,080
of the carousel in Siberia!
161
00:06:40,148 --> 00:06:41,108
Get comfortable, people.
162
00:06:41,149 --> 00:06:42,269
We're gonna be here all day.
163
00:06:42,284 --> 00:06:44,084
We're not gonna
be here all day.
164
00:06:44,152 --> 00:06:46,687
No, we're not, because I'm gonna
shimmy my way under the chute.
165
00:06:46,755 --> 00:06:48,755
Doug, you see one of those
sittin' around, grab it.
166
00:06:48,822 --> 00:06:50,140
I'm not coughing up 2 bucks
167
00:06:50,208 --> 00:06:52,426
for a glorified shopping cart.
168
00:06:52,494 --> 00:06:54,561
You kids must be tired.
169
00:06:54,629 --> 00:06:55,869
We'll go home,
we'll have lunch,
170
00:06:55,930 --> 00:06:57,998
and then you
can take a nice nap.
171
00:06:58,065 --> 00:07:00,734
Oh, by the way, good news.
172
00:07:00,886 --> 00:07:03,254
Costco was willing
to swap the corn chex
173
00:07:03,321 --> 00:07:05,622
for the rice chex
even-Stevens.
174
00:07:05,690 --> 00:07:07,708
Whew!
Crisis averted!
175
00:07:07,776 --> 00:07:09,876
Yeah!
Yeah.
176
00:07:09,944 --> 00:07:11,595
Isn't that your friend Deacon?
177
00:07:11,663 --> 00:07:14,114
Who? Which one?
178
00:07:14,182 --> 00:07:16,266
Right there, next to Kelly.
179
00:07:17,034 --> 00:07:18,274
I don't know
what you're sayin'.
180
00:07:18,286 --> 00:07:20,687
I really don't.
181
00:07:20,755 --> 00:07:22,122
Um, here's the thing:
182
00:07:22,190 --> 00:07:23,824
Yeah, we, uh--
183
00:07:23,892 --> 00:07:25,959
we all decided to go
on vacation together.
184
00:07:26,027 --> 00:07:28,027
We know you don't have the
room for all four of us,
185
00:07:28,052 --> 00:07:29,547
so we're just gonna
stay at a hotel.
186
00:07:29,614 --> 00:07:31,114
No big whoop.
187
00:07:32,634 --> 00:07:33,800
Oh.
188
00:07:34,753 --> 00:07:36,703
You look so pretty.
189
00:07:42,510 --> 00:07:44,844
Well, that was
the worst car ride ever.
190
00:07:44,912 --> 00:07:47,947
What? I don't think your
mother took it that bad.
191
00:07:48,015 --> 00:07:50,050
She refused to put on
her seat belt.
192
00:07:50,118 --> 00:07:53,186
She said,
"what's the point?"
193
00:07:53,254 --> 00:07:54,755
OK, she was a little rattled,
194
00:07:54,822 --> 00:07:56,089
but she'll get over it, OK?
195
00:07:56,158 --> 00:07:58,609
Honey, come on. Please just
remember why we're doing this.
196
00:07:58,677 --> 00:08:00,844
I mean, look around.
197
00:08:00,912 --> 00:08:03,013
We are in a hotel room
198
00:08:03,081 --> 00:08:05,549
in Florida. OK?
199
00:08:05,617 --> 00:08:06,850
I mean,
look at this. Look.
200
00:08:06,918 --> 00:08:10,220
We got a TV that swivels...
201
00:08:10,288 --> 00:08:13,140
And some painting of some...
202
00:08:13,207 --> 00:08:15,976
Mystical dolphins...
203
00:08:16,044 --> 00:08:17,678
And when we get bored
lookin' at that,
204
00:08:17,746 --> 00:08:18,812
we can go downstairs
205
00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:21,148
and have a little drink
at cap'n Toby's.
206
00:08:22,516 --> 00:08:23,817
Actually, I saw
that they let you
207
00:08:23,885 --> 00:08:25,585
throw your peanut shells
on the ground.
208
00:08:25,653 --> 00:08:29,056
I've always wanted
to try that.
209
00:08:29,123 --> 00:08:31,892
You see? Now you're
thinkin', honey!
210
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:33,760
OK. So what do you
wanna do first?
211
00:08:33,828 --> 00:08:35,128
Anything.
Just name it.
212
00:08:35,196 --> 00:08:37,130
Anything?
Anything.
213
00:08:37,198 --> 00:08:40,433
You'd watch a movie
starring the rock with me?
214
00:08:40,501 --> 00:08:42,786
I would love to.
215
00:08:46,474 --> 00:08:48,041
Hey! Hello. Hey.
216
00:08:48,109 --> 00:08:49,443
Nice hotel you picked.
217
00:08:49,510 --> 00:08:51,645
Uh, the air-conditioning
in our room?
218
00:08:51,713 --> 00:08:53,847
Not working.
219
00:08:53,914 --> 00:08:56,367
Oh, well, maybe you
should call downstairs--
220
00:08:56,434 --> 00:08:58,274
and get another room?
Yeah, already tried that.
221
00:08:58,299 --> 00:09:00,971
They're all booked.
222
00:09:01,039 --> 00:09:03,407
You know where you don't
need air-conditioning?
223
00:09:03,475 --> 00:09:05,108
Vermont.
224
00:09:14,235 --> 00:09:18,522
I'm sure sometimes you need
air-conditioning in Vermont.
225
00:09:18,590 --> 00:09:21,025
Yeah, I think you do. I
think he's just exaggerating.
226
00:09:21,092 --> 00:09:22,132
All right, honey, come on.
227
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:23,927
You pick a little snack
from the mini-bar,
228
00:09:23,995 --> 00:09:26,296
and let's watch the rock
229
00:09:26,364 --> 00:09:29,382
be a neurosurgeon
who saves the president.
230
00:09:43,731 --> 00:09:46,967
Spring break 2004 is on!
231
00:09:48,636 --> 00:09:50,236
All right, here's
how this works, people.
232
00:09:50,303 --> 00:09:52,004
I call your school,
you pound a beer
233
00:09:52,072 --> 00:09:54,507
and scream like hell!
Are we ready?
234
00:09:56,994 --> 00:09:59,980
I can't hear you!
235
00:10:00,047 --> 00:10:02,116
That's crazy. How can
he not hear that?
236
00:10:03,935 --> 00:10:05,685
I'll just turn it
up a little bit.
237
00:10:05,753 --> 00:10:06,786
There you go.
238
00:10:06,854 --> 00:10:09,389
Michigan state!
239
00:10:11,926 --> 00:10:14,861
University of Maryland!
240
00:10:16,330 --> 00:10:17,397
OK, well,
241
00:10:17,465 --> 00:10:20,668
there's 9.95
I'll never see again.
242
00:10:22,570 --> 00:10:24,204
Yeah?
243
00:10:27,575 --> 00:10:31,611
You know where kids
don't go for spring break?
244
00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:33,447
Vermont.
245
00:10:40,521 --> 00:10:42,522
University of Texas!
246
00:10:46,794 --> 00:10:48,278
Honey, come on.
It's not that bad.
247
00:10:48,346 --> 00:10:51,348
Look at it this way. We have
our own disco in the room!
248
00:10:51,416 --> 00:10:53,150
Huh? Come on!
249
00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:54,651
Shake that thing, baby!
250
00:10:54,986 --> 00:10:55,619
I don't really-
do it for me, for me!
251
00:10:55,686 --> 00:10:56,870
You know I love it!
You know I love it!
252
00:10:56,937 --> 00:10:57,871
Come on, do it for me!
253
00:10:57,938 --> 00:10:59,018
Do it for me, do it for me!
254
00:10:59,085 --> 00:11:00,520
Come on, shake it!
Shake that thing!
255
00:11:00,587 --> 00:11:02,942
Shake that thing!
Shake that thing!
256
00:11:03,011 --> 00:11:04,444
Yeah! Yeah!
257
00:11:04,512 --> 00:11:05,845
I don't wanna, I don't wanna!
258
00:11:05,913 --> 00:11:07,080
I- you know,
I wanna relax.
259
00:11:07,148 --> 00:11:08,631
You wanna relax?
OK, how 'bout this?
260
00:11:08,699 --> 00:11:10,579
How 'bout this? We just
freshen up a little bit,
261
00:11:10,604 --> 00:11:13,303
we go downstairs, we tip
one back with cap'n Toby?
262
00:11:13,370 --> 00:11:15,138
Come on, let's
freshen up. Come on.
263
00:11:15,205 --> 00:11:16,306
All right.
264
00:11:22,980 --> 00:11:24,080
What happened?
265
00:11:24,149 --> 00:11:27,284
There's a bat in there. What?!
266
00:11:27,352 --> 00:11:28,986
There is a bat
in the bathroom!
267
00:11:29,053 --> 00:11:30,620
No!
268
00:11:30,688 --> 00:11:34,307
I'm sorry.
Did you say no?
269
00:11:34,375 --> 00:11:37,060
Doug, how can there be
a bat in the bathroom?
270
00:11:37,128 --> 00:11:39,012
It's probably just
a moth or something.
271
00:11:40,448 --> 00:11:41,381
Ay-yi-yi.
272
00:11:42,883 --> 00:11:44,350
OK, um,
273
00:11:44,419 --> 00:11:47,687
there's a bat
in the bathroom...
274
00:11:47,755 --> 00:11:49,589
And he's a big 'un.
275
00:11:49,657 --> 00:11:51,625
Let's not panic,
let's not panic.
276
00:11:51,692 --> 00:11:53,160
I will just call downstairs,
277
00:11:53,227 --> 00:11:56,329
and we will just get this
taken care of right away.
278
00:11:58,316 --> 00:12:00,517
Yeah, hi. Um...
279
00:12:00,584 --> 00:12:02,285
We have a bat in our bathroom.
280
00:12:04,322 --> 00:12:05,389
No, it--
281
00:12:05,456 --> 00:12:07,391
no, I'm sure you get
a lot of prank phone calls
282
00:12:07,458 --> 00:12:08,558
from the spring breakers,
283
00:12:08,626 --> 00:12:10,260
but I'm serious. We really--
284
00:12:12,463 --> 00:12:14,364
okey-doke.
285
00:12:14,432 --> 00:12:15,465
What did they say?
286
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:17,250
He told me to have
another Heineken,
287
00:12:17,318 --> 00:12:19,035
and he hung up on me.
288
00:12:19,103 --> 00:12:21,688
This is ridiculous.
I'm going in there myself.
289
00:12:24,325 --> 00:12:25,965
What are you gonna do
with the hair spray?
290
00:12:25,990 --> 00:12:27,211
I'm gonna spray him, OK?
291
00:12:27,278 --> 00:12:28,695
Maybe it'll kill him.
292
00:12:28,763 --> 00:12:31,197
Maybe it'll just freeze
his wings out like that.
293
00:12:32,766 --> 00:12:33,446
Wait, wait, wait!
294
00:12:33,501 --> 00:12:35,552
Take these. Wear these
for protection.
295
00:12:39,874 --> 00:12:41,708
Now the bat's gonna think
I'm Elton John.
296
00:12:41,776 --> 00:12:44,177
Look, just wear them, please!
297
00:13:00,227 --> 00:13:01,512
Did you get him?
298
00:13:01,579 --> 00:13:03,263
I got him angry.
299
00:13:05,667 --> 00:13:07,150
Piedmont college!
Ohh.
300
00:13:10,104 --> 00:13:11,638
Will somebody please
shake that thing
301
00:13:11,706 --> 00:13:14,558
and get it over with?!
302
00:13:16,544 --> 00:13:20,447
So how are things
at your hotel?
303
00:13:20,515 --> 00:13:24,784
There was a goat swimming
in the pool this morning.
304
00:13:24,853 --> 00:13:27,053
Doug's really enjoying that
mini-bar, aren't you, honey?
305
00:13:27,078 --> 00:13:29,205
What did you end up
settling on? M&ms?
306
00:13:29,273 --> 00:13:30,993
What are you doing
eatin' from the mini-bar?
307
00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:32,225
You can buy m&ms at walgreen's
308
00:13:32,292 --> 00:13:34,260
for a third of the price!
309
00:13:34,328 --> 00:13:36,328
I think I have some chocolate
chips in the kitchen.
310
00:13:36,353 --> 00:13:38,264
I could put some
in a baggie for you.
311
00:13:38,332 --> 00:13:40,133
Oh, that's OK.
Thank you.
312
00:13:40,201 --> 00:13:41,668
All right.
313
00:13:41,736 --> 00:13:43,403
You know, Kelly,
darling, if you're tired,
314
00:13:43,471 --> 00:13:45,138
you could take a nap
in the guest room.
315
00:13:45,206 --> 00:13:47,440
Somebody might as well use it.
316
00:13:49,827 --> 00:13:51,428
Your parents
have a guest room?
317
00:13:51,579 --> 00:13:53,513
What are you doing at the
hotel? Save yourselves.
318
00:13:53,581 --> 00:13:55,248
Hell, no, if we
have to suffer,
319
00:13:55,315 --> 00:13:57,183
they have to suffer, too.
320
00:13:57,251 --> 00:14:00,036
Don't worry. We're
not staying here.
321
00:14:00,104 --> 00:14:01,384
All right, whatever. Deac, here.
322
00:14:01,409 --> 00:14:02,760
Help me clear.
323
00:14:07,528 --> 00:14:10,663
You know, maybe we should move
out of the hotel and stay here.
324
00:14:10,731 --> 00:14:12,366
No! I don't want to.
325
00:14:12,433 --> 00:14:13,700
Well, I kind of do.
326
00:14:13,768 --> 00:14:15,135
Uh, Doug,
327
00:14:15,203 --> 00:14:18,272
let's remember why
we're doing this. OK?
328
00:14:18,339 --> 00:14:20,073
We are setting a precedent
329
00:14:20,141 --> 00:14:22,609
to stay in a hotel.
330
00:14:22,676 --> 00:14:25,112
No one said it
was gonna be easy.
331
00:14:25,413 --> 00:14:27,497
You did.
332
00:14:27,565 --> 00:14:30,125
You said as long as we got Deacon
and Kelly to come down with us,
333
00:14:30,150 --> 00:14:32,118
we'd be home free.
334
00:14:34,939 --> 00:14:36,973
What I just heard
335
00:14:37,041 --> 00:14:39,542
did not make me happy.
336
00:14:39,610 --> 00:14:43,162
Oh, 'cause you're taking it
completely out of context.
337
00:14:43,230 --> 00:14:45,750
You invited us down here just so
you wouldn't have to spend time
338
00:14:45,775 --> 00:14:46,799
with your in-laws?
339
00:14:46,867 --> 00:14:48,201
No. We invited
you here
340
00:14:48,269 --> 00:14:50,136
because we are a foursome.
341
00:14:50,204 --> 00:14:52,672
Yeah, see, that's funny,
'cause what I heard
342
00:14:52,740 --> 00:14:54,260
was that I'm not
skiing down a mountain
343
00:14:54,308 --> 00:14:56,409
of freshly packed snow
with the wind in my face
344
00:14:56,477 --> 00:14:59,012
because you wanted
to set a precedent.
345
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:01,164
And because we're a foursome!
346
00:15:01,231 --> 00:15:03,967
Why does nobody
remember this?!
347
00:15:04,035 --> 00:15:06,753
Kids, should I make
something for lunch,
348
00:15:06,821 --> 00:15:08,781
or have you made other
arrangements for that, too?
349
00:15:08,790 --> 00:15:10,123
You-you know what,
Mrs. Heffernan?
350
00:15:10,191 --> 00:15:12,292
If that guest room
is still available,
351
00:15:12,359 --> 00:15:14,360
we'd love to use it tonight.
352
00:15:14,428 --> 00:15:16,429
That would be wonderful!
353
00:15:16,497 --> 00:15:19,299
You've made me
very, very happy.
354
00:15:30,578 --> 00:15:32,312
Well...
355
00:15:32,380 --> 00:15:34,514
Brunch was nice.
356
00:15:39,036 --> 00:15:41,721
Now, you ready
for a little dessert?
357
00:15:44,475 --> 00:15:47,710
'Cause I'm gonna get
on you like hot fudge.
358
00:15:47,778 --> 00:15:48,861
What is wrong with you, OK?
359
00:15:48,929 --> 00:15:51,431
There's a bat in our bathroom!
360
00:15:51,499 --> 00:15:53,766
And there's gonna be
some lovin' in the bedroom.
361
00:15:53,835 --> 00:15:55,836
Stop it, OK?!
362
00:15:55,903 --> 00:15:57,938
Have you noticed anything
that's gone on here?!
363
00:15:58,005 --> 00:15:59,473
I mean, my mother hates us.
364
00:15:59,540 --> 00:16:01,207
Our best friends hate us.
365
00:16:01,275 --> 00:16:02,726
This trip has turned evil!
366
00:16:02,877 --> 00:16:04,945
OK, and for what?
What's it all for?
367
00:16:05,713 --> 00:16:08,731
For the precedent?
Ohh!
368
00:16:08,799 --> 00:16:10,283
Would you stop
with that precedent!
369
00:16:10,434 --> 00:16:14,570
I'm not even entirely sure
what it means.
370
00:16:14,638 --> 00:16:16,790
It means sweet freedom!
371
00:16:16,858 --> 00:16:18,298
Oh, my God, are you
really telling me
372
00:16:18,323 --> 00:16:21,278
you can't spend 3 days
with my parents?
373
00:16:21,345 --> 00:16:23,529
Let me fill you in
on something.
374
00:16:23,597 --> 00:16:24,798
I live every second of my life
375
00:16:24,866 --> 00:16:27,166
with an old man
who gets cereal
376
00:16:27,234 --> 00:16:31,705
by digging his ape-like hands
right into the box!
377
00:16:31,772 --> 00:16:34,808
All right, you don't need to
bring my father into this, OK?
378
00:16:34,875 --> 00:16:35,859
Oh, don't I?
379
00:16:35,926 --> 00:16:37,927
This is a man
who canceled our cable
380
00:16:37,995 --> 00:16:41,597
because they wouldn't pay him every
time they ran the movie Arthur!
381
00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:48,538
Come on, he's not
that bad, Doug. I mean--
382
00:16:48,605 --> 00:16:50,974
no, you know what?
That's it.
383
00:16:51,041 --> 00:16:52,142
What-what
are you doing?
384
00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:54,311
I'm packing. We're
staying at my parents' house
385
00:16:54,378 --> 00:16:55,312
like we should've
in the first place.
386
00:16:55,379 --> 00:16:57,029
No, Doug, we can't!
Deacon and Kelly
387
00:16:57,097 --> 00:16:59,299
are staying in their
guest bedroom anyway!
388
00:16:59,367 --> 00:17:01,084
That's all right. You know
what? We'll sleep on the floor,
389
00:17:01,152 --> 00:17:03,003
or we'll sleep in the bed
with my parents.
390
00:17:03,070 --> 00:17:05,021
God, my mother
would love that.
391
00:17:09,293 --> 00:17:10,309
So, you got your water,
392
00:17:10,461 --> 00:17:11,995
and here are
some extra pillows,
393
00:17:12,063 --> 00:17:14,497
and I put some
tangerines in your room.
394
00:17:14,565 --> 00:17:16,765
Now, they told me at the
market that they were seedless,
395
00:17:16,790 --> 00:17:19,068
so if they're not,
I wanna know about it.
396
00:17:19,136 --> 00:17:20,620
Everything's great.
Thank you.
397
00:17:20,688 --> 00:17:21,848
We'll see you in the morning.
398
00:17:21,873 --> 00:17:24,791
Good night.
How are you two doin'?
399
00:17:24,858 --> 00:17:26,926
Great.
Good.
400
00:17:26,994 --> 00:17:29,645
I'm so happy you're here.
401
00:17:29,713 --> 00:17:31,681
I love you both.
402
00:17:37,955 --> 00:17:39,822
System armed.
403
00:17:39,890 --> 00:17:43,460
Remember, don't open
any doors or windows.
404
00:17:43,528 --> 00:17:44,861
Okey-doke.
405
00:17:52,803 --> 00:17:55,756
It's still a little light out.
406
00:17:56,657 --> 00:17:58,441
It's bedtime.
407
00:18:19,897 --> 00:18:21,681
What are you doing?
I have to pee.
408
00:18:21,749 --> 00:18:23,533
Remember, don't flush.
409
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:24,634
Oh, come on.
410
00:18:24,701 --> 00:18:27,253
Carrie,
it's almost 9:15.
411
00:18:27,321 --> 00:18:28,621
Just...
412
00:18:28,689 --> 00:18:30,523
Pee in the tub.
413
00:18:36,614 --> 00:18:40,584
I am not going
to pee in the tub, OK?
414
00:18:40,651 --> 00:18:41,891
I begged you to go
after dinner!
415
00:18:41,916 --> 00:18:43,369
I didn't have to go then!
416
00:18:43,437 --> 00:18:45,317
Well, then, you know what,
you lost your chance!
417
00:18:45,342 --> 00:18:46,909
Fine. I'll hold it.
418
00:18:47,657 --> 00:18:49,377
No, I can't hold it.
I gotta go, I gotta go.
419
00:18:49,402 --> 00:18:51,227
Whoa! Whoa, whoa.
Wait a second!
420
00:18:51,295 --> 00:18:53,079
Look, the rec center
down the hall
421
00:18:53,146 --> 00:18:54,306
is open till 10:00,
all right?
422
00:18:54,331 --> 00:18:56,199
They got a beautiful bathroom.
423
00:18:56,267 --> 00:18:58,768
What? Doug, we
can't open the door.
424
00:18:58,836 --> 00:19:00,737
The frickin' alarm is on!
425
00:19:02,590 --> 00:19:05,525
I may know the code.
426
00:19:05,593 --> 00:19:07,377
What?
427
00:19:07,445 --> 00:19:08,525
I heard my parents talking,
428
00:19:08,545 --> 00:19:10,947
and I'm pretty sure
it's my birthday.
429
00:19:11,015 --> 00:19:12,215
Well, what are
you waiting for?
430
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,716
Let's go!
Open the door!
431
00:19:13,784 --> 00:19:15,824
But you go out, you do your
business, you come back.
432
00:19:15,849 --> 00:19:17,620
No one has to know.
Fine!
433
00:19:17,688 --> 00:19:19,556
All right.
434
00:19:19,623 --> 00:19:21,458
My birthday's, uh,
435
00:19:21,525 --> 00:19:26,362
February 9, 1965.
436
00:19:26,430 --> 00:19:28,364
What are you doing? I'm
loosening up my fingers!
437
00:19:28,432 --> 00:19:29,566
All right, come on.
438
00:19:29,583 --> 00:19:31,334
OK...
439
00:19:31,402 --> 00:19:33,886
That's, uh, 2...
440
00:19:33,954 --> 00:19:34,654
Wait a second. That
is my birthday, right?
441
00:19:34,806 --> 00:19:36,166
Doug, you don't know
your birthday?
442
00:19:36,207 --> 00:19:37,707
I blanked out.
Excuse me!
443
00:19:37,775 --> 00:19:39,142
OK, come on.
444
00:19:41,679 --> 00:19:45,582
2... 9... 6... 5...
445
00:19:45,650 --> 00:19:47,984
Pound.
446
00:19:48,052 --> 00:19:50,086
System disarmed.
447
00:19:50,154 --> 00:19:52,438
Honey, I love you!
448
00:19:52,506 --> 00:19:54,040
I love you, too.
Pee like the wind.
449
00:19:54,108 --> 00:19:55,291
All right, all right.
450
00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:57,160
Intruder detected.
451
00:19:57,228 --> 00:19:59,329
Oh, my God! What's going
on?! I did it right!
452
00:19:59,396 --> 00:20:02,498
Is everybody OK?!
453
00:20:02,566 --> 00:20:03,716
What happened?!
454
00:20:03,784 --> 00:20:04,864
I saw the alarm switch off!
455
00:20:04,918 --> 00:20:07,920
I hit the panic button!
There's somebody in here!
456
00:20:07,988 --> 00:20:09,472
Ma--
457
00:20:09,540 --> 00:20:10,860
there's nobody
in here, all right?
458
00:20:10,885 --> 00:20:12,074
I punched in the code.
459
00:20:12,142 --> 00:20:13,593
Why would you do that?!
460
00:20:13,661 --> 00:20:17,463
Oh, great.
Now I gotta pay $25.
461
00:20:17,531 --> 00:20:18,611
Everyone all right in here?
462
00:20:18,679 --> 00:20:19,962
Should I call the real cops?
463
00:20:20,030 --> 00:20:22,101
Loo-no.
464
00:20:22,169 --> 00:20:24,336
Everything's fine, OK?
It was an accident.
465
00:20:24,404 --> 00:20:25,844
Why would you fiddle
with the alarm?!
466
00:20:25,869 --> 00:20:28,157
You know
it's very complicated!
467
00:20:28,225 --> 00:20:30,994
You know where they don't
fiddle with the alarm?
468
00:20:32,963 --> 00:20:34,323
All right, people,
it's after 9:00.
469
00:20:34,348 --> 00:20:36,016
Back to bed. Let's go.
470
00:20:39,486 --> 00:20:42,205
I just wanted
to stay in a hotel.
471
00:20:47,244 --> 00:20:49,295
I got the food.
472
00:20:50,564 --> 00:20:52,165
You know, with the AC working,
473
00:20:52,233 --> 00:20:54,200
I'm not hatin'
being back here.
474
00:20:55,936 --> 00:20:57,570
Kell?
475
00:21:07,414 --> 00:21:10,716
OK, girls, time
to get those t-shirts wet!
476
00:21:27,101 --> 00:21:29,468
Kelly?
477
00:21:29,536 --> 00:21:32,805
Woman, put a damn towel
around yourself!
33721
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