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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:13,623 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 2 00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:15,058 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 3 00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:16,560 ♪ we've been waiting for you ♪ 4 00:00:16,584 --> 00:00:18,095 ♪ we've been waiting for you ♪ 5 00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:21,264 ♪ where the kisses are Hers and hers and his ♪ 6 00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:22,921 ♪ three's company too ♪ 7 00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:25,768 ♪ come and dance on our floor ♪ 8 00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:27,370 ♪ come and dance on our floor ♪ 9 00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:28,871 ♪ take a step that is new ♪ 10 00:00:28,895 --> 00:00:30,407 ♪ take a step that is new ♪ 11 00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:33,376 ♪ we've a loveable space That needs your face ♪ 12 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,900 ♪ three's company too ♪ 13 00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:44,087 ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 14 00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:45,655 ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 15 00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:47,412 ♪ three is company too ♪ 16 00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:56,332 ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 17 00:00:56,356 --> 00:00:57,834 ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 18 00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,891 ♪ three is company too. ♪ 19 00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:07,310 - janet? - hmm? 20 00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:08,812 Do you like it? 21 00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:10,268 Jack. 22 00:01:11,338 --> 00:01:14,250 Oh, jack, it's beautiful. 23 00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:17,220 Well, how sweet. But What's the occasion? 24 00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,444 My mother's birthday. 25 00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:22,959 Oh, it's very nice. 26 00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:24,461 - oh, thank you. - mm-hmm. 27 00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:27,230 Thank you, thank you. I'm Gonna give it to her tomorrow. 28 00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,899 What, you're gonna Go down to san diego? 29 00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:31,501 Yeah, if I can borrow larry's Car. You wanna come with me? 30 00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:34,304 Oh, jack, I would love to, but Who's gonna watch the shop? 31 00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,706 - I'm supposed to work. - oh, that's too bad. 32 00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:40,410 My mom thinks the only girls I Know are empty-headed playmates. 33 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:44,013 - what made her think that? - when she met 'em. 34 00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:46,983 Anyway, she's always on my case 35 00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:50,319 To forget the looks And find a girl with brains. 36 00:01:50,343 --> 00:01:51,776 You sure you can't make it? 37 00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:59,229 You are skating On thin ice, jack. 38 00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:03,100 Jack, janet! You'll never Guess who I ran into today! 39 00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:05,435 Chrissy, you left the door open. 40 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:08,504 Oh, that's okay. My friend Darlene is paying the taxicab driver. 41 00:02:08,528 --> 00:02:10,640 You'll never guess It in a million years! 42 00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,275 Your friend darlene? 43 00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,898 How'd you guess? 44 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:17,948 Who's darlene? 45 00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:19,615 You remember. I told You all about her. 46 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:22,018 - I went to high school With her in fresno. - you did? 47 00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:24,020 Yeah, remember that Girl I told you about 48 00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:26,689 Who was always so miserable 'cause She never thought she'd get anywhere? 49 00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:29,559 - that was darlene? - no, that was me. 50 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:33,496 Darlene is the one who told me I Had as much brains as anybody else, 51 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,498 And I'd better use Them or lose them. 52 00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:37,656 So what'd you do? 53 00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:43,573 - jack: excuse me. - I listened to her. 54 00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:47,344 Darlene was always so smart, all the Kids in school used to call her einstein. 55 00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:49,345 Oh, that's wonderful. 56 00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:50,847 - janet: jack. - yeah. 57 00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,849 She was captain of The debating team 58 00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:56,820 And president of the honors Society and our class valedictorian. 59 00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:59,089 Gosh, chrissy, What'd she do for fun? 60 00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:01,624 She sang in the church choir. 61 00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:03,126 She sang in the church choir. 62 00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:05,128 Well, I can't wait To meet this one. 63 00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:07,297 Well, you're gonna Meet her real soon 64 00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:08,965 Because she's gonna Be staying with us. 65 00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:10,100 What? 66 00:03:10,124 --> 00:03:12,435 She was supposed to be In town for a convention, 67 00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:14,837 But the hotel lost Her reservation. 68 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:17,206 So you invited miss Einstein to stay here. 69 00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:19,208 Well, it's only for a few days. 70 00:03:19,232 --> 00:03:22,012 Chrissy, it's crowded enough With just the three of us. 71 00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:23,513 I didn't think you'd mind. 72 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,348 Janet: really, jack, It's no big deal. 73 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,150 She could sleep Here on the sofa. 74 00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:28,551 Chrissy: yeah. 75 00:03:28,575 --> 00:03:30,853 The sofa? I won't hear of it. 76 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,855 Chrissy's friend Can stay in my room. 77 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:35,225 Oh, hello. Who's that? 78 00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:38,061 Come here, I want You to meet my friends. 79 00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:39,896 - this is janet And this is jack. - janet: hello. 80 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,965 - how do you do? - chrissy, chrissy, chrissy. 81 00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:44,389 How come you never Told us about darlene? 82 00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:48,104 Don't listen to him. 83 00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:51,141 Chrissy talks about you all the time, Especially about how you helped her. 84 00:03:51,165 --> 00:03:53,743 - has she told you How she helped me? - no. 85 00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:56,379 If it wasn't for chrissy, I never Would've graduated with honors. 86 00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:57,768 As a matter of fact, I probably never 87 00:03:57,792 --> 00:03:59,482 Would've cracked a book My whole senior year. 88 00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:02,085 Really? What did she do? 89 00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:03,909 She stole all my boyfriends. 90 00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:13,230 Could I have my hand back? 91 00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:15,298 I'm sorry, I'm getting So forgetful. 92 00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:16,633 Excuse me. 93 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,835 - I warned you about jack. - oh, come on, chrissy. 94 00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:21,438 That's not very nice. Didn't I Offer to let darlene use my room? 95 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:24,941 Oh, no, I couldn't ask you to do That, jack. Where would you sleep? 96 00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,476 Well, actually, it's a rather Large room, so I thought... 97 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:29,145 Jack. 98 00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:32,281 I thought that I would sleep on Our friend mr. Sofa right here. 99 00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:33,616 Right there. 100 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,785 Excuse me, why don't I Go straighten up my room. 101 00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:37,742 I mean, your room. Excuse me. 102 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,759 See what I mean? 103 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,861 Yes, but you don't Have to worry, 104 00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:46,863 He's really quite harmless. 105 00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:50,166 Yeah, and he's funny. You should See some of the tricks he pulls on us. 106 00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:52,435 Yeah. 107 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,771 On second thought, you'd Better keep your door locked. 108 00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,128 - I'll keep that in mind. - janet: mm-hmm. 109 00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:02,011 - isn't she terrific? - oh, chrissy, you're The one who's terrific. 110 00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,780 - why? - well, I'll tell you. 111 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:07,150 If I ran into an old high-school Friend and she was dressed like that... 112 00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:10,787 You know, a gucci bag, Romano boots, the dior blouse... 113 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,890 I would be green with envy, and You're not the slightest bit jealous. 114 00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,748 Why, that's silly? Why Would I be jealous? 115 00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:20,125 Is that really a gucci bag? 116 00:05:24,258 --> 00:05:26,068 Oh, now, you remember, darlene, 117 00:05:26,092 --> 00:05:28,971 If there's anything you want, you Come out here and just wake me up. 118 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,973 And I'm talking anything at all. 119 00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:33,476 Jack, you are very kind. 120 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,811 Kind of nauseating. 121 00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:38,347 Is, um... Is there a telephone Here that I could use? 122 00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:40,016 Yeah, it's right over here. 123 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,686 Oh, uh, is that the only phone? 124 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,870 How many do you need? 125 00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:47,223 No, see, 126 00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:49,726 I think darlene means She'd like a little privacy. 127 00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:51,828 - let's go heat up Some coffee. - oh, okay. 128 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,863 Darlene, I will get The number for you. 129 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:56,366 I don't want you to bruise Your pretty little fingers. 130 00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:58,568 Oh. Jack? 131 00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,236 It's personal. 132 00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:01,904 Oh, I'm sorry. Here you go. 133 00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:03,740 Whoops, hang on. Low bridge. 134 00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:05,875 - whoop, oh. - got it? 135 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,377 Yeah, thanks. 136 00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:09,979 I'll just, uh, put Your suitcase in my... 137 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,269 Sorry. 138 00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,954 Hello, doris. Hi, it's darlene. 139 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:20,790 I can be reached at 555-6350. 140 00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:23,326 Are there any calls? 141 00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:24,928 Who? 142 00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:26,629 Fred jones. 143 00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:29,187 How come all the johns Are always named "Jones"? 144 00:06:30,324 --> 00:06:32,201 Yeah. 145 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,203 How much? 146 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,205 Are you kidding? Listen, doris. 147 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:39,042 You tell him that if he Wants me, my price is $100. 148 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,877 You got it? Great. 149 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,221 I'll talk to you later. 150 00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,871 - are you free? - what? 151 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:52,588 I just, uh... Just thought you might Like to go down to the regal beagle. 152 00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:55,024 - the regal... - it's our pub. 153 00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:57,293 Now? I just got here. 154 00:06:57,317 --> 00:07:00,897 Hey, you know, the best cure For jet lag is a little glass of vino. 155 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,566 Well, I don't know, jack. I haven't Had a chance to talk to chrissy... 156 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,635 Oh, you guys will have Plenty of time together. 157 00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:08,437 We'll be back in ten, twenty Minutes. What do you say? 158 00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:10,807 - well, I... - good. 159 00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:14,077 Hey, hey. Where you going? 160 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:16,880 Uh, darlene wanted To see the regal beagle. 161 00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:20,638 - well, what about us? - you've seen it lots of times. 162 00:07:24,644 --> 00:07:26,289 So then, 163 00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:28,791 Janet and chrissy asked Me to move in with them. 164 00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:31,460 And except for a Few minor irritations, 165 00:07:31,484 --> 00:07:33,462 Everything's worked Out perfectly. 166 00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:35,030 Oh. 167 00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:38,334 And there's, um, nothing Going on between you? 168 00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:40,291 No, that's one Of the irritations. 169 00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:49,245 Say, darlene, how would you like to Drive down to san diego with me tomorrow? 170 00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:50,746 - san diego? - yeah. 171 00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:52,748 It's my mother's birthday, And I was wondering... 172 00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:57,587 We-he-he-he-ell... - hello there. - larry. 173 00:07:57,611 --> 00:07:59,422 Hi, I'm larry, 174 00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:02,024 Jack's best friend, His buddy and his pal. 175 00:08:02,048 --> 00:08:04,027 - larry, get lost. - see what I mean? 176 00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:06,029 Darlene, this is No friend of mine. 177 00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:07,697 Don't listen to him, darling. 178 00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:09,566 That's darlene. 179 00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:12,035 Darlene? What a lovely name. 180 00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:14,237 Whatever do you do, darlene? 181 00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:16,205 Don't you think that's A touch personal? 182 00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:18,408 You're right. I'll Wait until we're alone. 183 00:08:18,432 --> 00:08:20,109 Hey, larry, knock it off. 184 00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:22,678 Bartender just told Me this terrific joke. 185 00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:25,548 Seems this traveling salesman Stopped by this farmhouse... 186 00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:28,751 Larry, I don't think darlene Wants to hear any off-color jokes. 187 00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:31,820 Gotcha. Seems this traveling Minister stopped by this farmhouse... 188 00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:33,822 Larry, will you knock it off? 189 00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:37,293 It's all right, jack. I have to be going Anyway. I'm expecting a phone call. 190 00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:40,829 And not a moment too soon. Listen, darlene, I'll walk you back. 191 00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:43,499 Oh, no, jack, stay. I can Find my way back, really. 192 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,802 Okay, um, what about San diego tomorrow? 193 00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:49,305 Oh, um, I'm going to Have to let you know. 194 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:50,806 - okay. - goodbye, larry. 195 00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:52,642 No, not goodbye. 196 00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:55,065 Until we meet Again, without jack. 197 00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:58,570 Ah! 198 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,118 - serves you right. - san diego, huh? 199 00:09:03,142 --> 00:09:05,187 - you sure do Move fast, pal. - larry... 200 00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:08,457 Hey, look, I know this nice, quiet Rendezvous just outside the city... 201 00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:11,694 Will you cool it? She's Not that kind of girl. 202 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,228 Oh. 203 00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:16,366 As a matter of fact, she Used to sing in a church choir. 204 00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:18,768 That's no problem, jack. This Place is way out on the beach. 205 00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,725 No one will hear her. 206 00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:28,678 Yeah, and all through high School darlene helped me 207 00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:31,948 With my english and my History and my algebra. 208 00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:33,682 Well, how nice. 209 00:09:33,706 --> 00:09:36,485 Yeah, well, I helped her with The really important things. 210 00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:37,687 Yeah, like what? 211 00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:39,910 I taught her how to say no. 212 00:09:49,523 --> 00:09:50,922 Chrissy! 213 00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:54,292 Chrissy? 214 00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:57,161 Hello? 215 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,197 Fred jones? 216 00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:02,811 Huh? 217 00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:06,081 What do you mean, What do you get for $100? 218 00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:10,152 Hey, is this one of those Game-show quizzes? 219 00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:12,221 Yeah. Huh? 220 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:14,512 Well, what do you Expect for $100? 221 00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:17,281 What? 222 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,963 Hey! 223 00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:22,231 Hey! 224 00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:23,800 Hey! 225 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:25,802 Listen, fred, you're a creep! 226 00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:28,760 - I think that's for me. - no, um... 227 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,842 Hello, fred? 228 00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:34,977 Uh, yes, this is darlene. 229 00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:37,235 No, no, that was a new girl. 230 00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:42,284 Fred, fred, 231 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,286 Give me the number Of your hotel room 232 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:47,089 And I'll meet you There after the party. 233 00:10:47,113 --> 00:10:49,446 Fine, I'll see you then. Bye. 234 00:10:55,555 --> 00:11:02,872 You're a... A... Uh... Call girl. 235 00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,161 Oh. 236 00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:16,007 Well, well. 237 00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:18,208 Well. 238 00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:22,024 Well, well, imagine that. 239 00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:24,627 Janet, I didn't mean To shake you up. 240 00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:26,028 Who, me? 241 00:11:26,052 --> 00:11:28,898 Why would you shake me Up? It's none of my business. 242 00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:31,134 Then you're not Gonna tell chrissy? 243 00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:33,269 Who, me? Tell chr... 244 00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:36,305 Tell chrissy that someone She's been bragging about, 245 00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:40,075 That she really Likes, is a... Uh... Oh. 246 00:11:40,099 --> 00:11:43,413 What's the matter? Can't you even say it? 247 00:11:43,437 --> 00:11:46,749 Not to chrissy. I don't Think she could handle it. 248 00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:49,151 Hmm. But you can. 249 00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:52,121 Oh, sure. Definitely. 250 00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:54,556 I mean, you know, I feel that, well, 251 00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:56,592 You're old enough to Know what you're doing, 252 00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:58,894 So I'm not gonna make Any moral judgments. 253 00:11:58,918 --> 00:12:00,529 Thank you. 254 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,273 If you want to throw your life Down the gutter, that's your business. 255 00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:08,004 It's just, I don't understand 256 00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:11,674 How you could sell Yourself to just any guy. 257 00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:13,809 - any guy? - yeah. 258 00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:17,113 What do you think I am, a hooker? 259 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,551 Hooker, call girl, What's the difference? 260 00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:24,687 Hookers don't drive ferraris. 261 00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:26,144 Oh. 262 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,780 Oh. 263 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,061 Oh. 264 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:35,197 You know, though, chrissy Said that you were real bright. 265 00:12:35,221 --> 00:12:37,833 - everybody called you einstein. - that's right. 266 00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:40,369 Well, couldn't you Have found a better job? 267 00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:42,805 I mean, a girl With your brains... 268 00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:46,675 Is smart enough to know Where the real money is. 269 00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:48,444 I'd like to chat With you longer, 270 00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:50,513 But I really have to Get ready for work. 271 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,681 So soon? I was Hoping we could talk. 272 00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:54,706 I want to hear All about your job. 273 00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:58,375 Why don't you ask janet? 274 00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,230 - well? - well! 275 00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:08,453 Um... 276 00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:14,537 We're out of coffee. I'm going Down to furley's to get some. 277 00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:16,539 - can't you tell me first? - no. 278 00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:19,942 - why? - uh, because, uh, chrissy, There's not much to tell. 279 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,478 Because it's not Really much of a job. 280 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:25,281 But what about all those Guccis and poochies? 281 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,550 Well, yes, yes. 282 00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:30,152 Uh, she does make A lot of money. 283 00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:32,988 - how? - how? 284 00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:34,712 Uh, huh. 285 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:39,495 Well, see, chrissy, you Know how at big conventions 286 00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:43,366 There are always a lot Of men and they're lonely? 287 00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:46,168 And darlene just Helps them relax. 288 00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:49,272 Yeah, she's, uh, Kind of a hostess. 289 00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:52,274 Oh, you mean like an Airline stewardess. 290 00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:54,877 Yeah, like an Airline stewardess. 291 00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:56,445 She gets around a lot. 292 00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:59,115 I mean, she does A lot of traveling. 293 00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:00,616 - really? - oh, really. 294 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:03,307 It's a real hustle. Hassle! 295 00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:06,956 Real big hassle, chrissy. 296 00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,691 I'm gonna get down there And get that coffee, okay? 297 00:14:09,715 --> 00:14:10,715 okay. 298 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,732 Wow. You look beautiful. 299 00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:18,734 Think it's too much, chrissy? 300 00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:20,625 Not for your job. 301 00:14:21,928 --> 00:14:22,939 What? 302 00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:24,874 Well, janet told Me all about it. 303 00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:26,942 Oh, I didn't think She'd say anything. 304 00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:29,967 Why? I think what You do is wonderful. 305 00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:32,748 You do? 306 00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:34,483 Yeah. 307 00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:36,941 In fact, I'd like to Take a try at it myself. 308 00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,322 What? 309 00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:42,992 Well, I know it'd take a while For me to get the hang of it, 310 00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:46,616 But if you'd just let me watch You work, I know I could do it. 311 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,398 Um, chrissy, uh, 312 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,400 I don't really Think it's for you. 313 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,568 Hey, it can't be Any more difficult 314 00:14:53,592 --> 00:14:55,737 Than what I'm already Doing in my own job. 315 00:14:55,761 --> 00:15:00,075 You ought to see some of the Things my boss asks me to do. 316 00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:03,012 Especially when we've Got out-of-town buyers. 317 00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:05,080 I never would have believed it. 318 00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:09,106 Least you get paid for it. All I ever get's a free dinner. 319 00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:14,423 Chrissy, chrissy, you Sure have changed. 320 00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:16,725 Haven't we all? 321 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,860 Touché. 322 00:15:18,884 --> 00:15:21,730 Darlene, let me go with You tonight. I know I can do it. 323 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,400 Well, I don't know, chrissy. If you're really serious... 324 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,835 I am, I am. Let's go, okay? 325 00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:27,958 Okay. 326 00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:31,807 Whoa, hey, what's the hurry? 327 00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,876 We can't talk, jack. We have to go to work. 328 00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:36,879 - work? - yeah, darlene's taking Me to the convention. 329 00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:39,415 Well, have fun. Darlene? 330 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,583 - are we on for tomorrow? - yes. 331 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,888 And I'm looking Forward to it, jack. 332 00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:52,950 "Yes, and I'm looking Forward to it, jack." 333 00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:59,167 ♪ I want a girl Just like the girl ♪ 334 00:15:59,191 --> 00:16:02,972 ♪ who married dear old dad. ♪ 335 00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:05,140 Hi, mom? This is jack. 336 00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:08,477 No, I wasn't crying, Mother. I was singing. 337 00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:10,146 Don't make any Plans for tomorrow. 338 00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:12,415 I'm coming down to See you. Yeah, yeah. 339 00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:14,150 And I'm bringing Someone special. 340 00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:16,818 Her name is darlene. 341 00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:21,357 She's the kind of girl you've Always wanted me to bring home. 342 00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:24,393 She's a kind of small-town Girl, very sweet, 343 00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,628 And very safe? 344 00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,430 And very nice. 345 00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:30,499 In fact, she's a lot like you. 346 00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:33,902 Listen, mom, I don't wanna Sell her to you over the phone. 347 00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,571 You'll be able to Judge her tomorrow. 348 00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:38,362 I'll see you later, Mom. I gotta go, bye! 349 00:16:40,232 --> 00:16:42,378 Would you mind Explaining yourself? 350 00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:44,880 - jack. - was it so important That it couldn't wait? 351 00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:47,283 Jack, darlene is a $100-a-night call girl. 352 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:50,974 I don't care. When a guy's Talking to his mo-o-other... 353 00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:54,178 Call girl? 354 00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,259 That's right. 355 00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:59,528 She can't be. I Mean, miss einstein. 356 00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:01,997 So, she's a smart call girl. 357 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,333 I don't believe it. 358 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,335 Believe it, jack. She Told me so herself. 359 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,005 And we can't let chrissy know. 360 00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:12,875 If chrissy doesn't already Know, she's about to find out. 361 00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:14,743 What do you mean? 362 00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:17,746 She went off to Work with darlene! 363 00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:20,216 - what? - they left two minutes ago. 364 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,218 Oh, oh! We have to go get her! 365 00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:25,488 Wait, wait, janet, wait. What Are we getting so excited about? 366 00:17:25,512 --> 00:17:27,990 - huh? - chrissy's not about To do anything crazy. 367 00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:29,492 - oh, right. - she's a... 368 00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:32,728 A sweet, nice, innocent girl. 369 00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:35,731 Which is exactly what those guys At the convention are looking for. 370 00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:37,933 - you get larry's car, I'll get my purse. - let's go. 371 00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:39,268 Oh. 372 00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:40,591 No. 373 00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:45,740 Hey, janet, grab my jacket. 374 00:17:45,764 --> 00:17:47,842 Larry, just in time. 375 00:17:47,866 --> 00:17:49,612 Darlene's a call girl. 376 00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:51,280 Could you run that by me again? 377 00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:54,216 She's a $100-a-night call girl. 378 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,619 There's no time to explain, so Please, larry, I need your help. 379 00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:59,309 Gee, I'd love to, jack, But I'm down to my last $3. 380 00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:26,348 - hi. - ohh. 381 00:18:26,372 --> 00:18:29,139 - is anybody here lonely? - yes! 382 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:33,789 Do you, uh, think You can help us out? 383 00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:35,791 Well, that's what I'm here for. 384 00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:38,660 Oh, then you're, uh, Working here tonight. 385 00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:42,498 Well, yes and no. I mean, I'm Working, but I'm not getting paid. 386 00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:44,700 - you're not? - no. 387 00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:46,935 This is my first time. 388 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,959 Have some champagne. 389 00:18:53,365 --> 00:18:55,677 - where is she? I don't see her. - jack, please calm down. 390 00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:58,013 I am calm! 391 00:18:58,037 --> 00:19:00,015 I, uh... I'm sorry, miss. 392 00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:02,351 I seem to have lost my name tag. 393 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:04,487 You don't need a name Tag, mr. Swackhammer. 394 00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:06,455 Oh, thank you. 395 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:07,790 Follow me. 396 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:10,059 Excuse me, miss, I left My name tag upstairs. 397 00:19:10,083 --> 00:19:13,195 - I'm sorry, but you can't Get in without one. - but you let that guy in. 398 00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:15,731 Mr. Swackhammer? He's Chairman of the board. 399 00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:17,499 Wonderful party! 400 00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,501 Oh, great. Having fun, buddy? 401 00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:22,137 Just great. How about you? 402 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,806 I'm fine. 403 00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:26,208 Listen, why don't we step Outside for a breath of fresh air? 404 00:19:26,232 --> 00:19:27,209 Sure. 405 00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:28,877 Jack? Jack? 406 00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:36,218 What do you know? I didn't Leave it upstairs after all. 407 00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:37,686 Go right in, mr. Blake. 408 00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,188 - mr. Who? - blake. 409 00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:41,256 - oh, yes. - jack, there she is. 410 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:42,479 Oh, good. 411 00:19:43,582 --> 00:19:45,059 - hi there. - hi. 412 00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:47,763 - can I help you? - I'm looking for a girl. 413 00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:50,099 You certainly came To the right place. 414 00:19:50,123 --> 00:19:51,155 Mercy. 415 00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:55,871 Pardon me, miss. 416 00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:57,973 - huh? - have you seen my wife? 417 00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:00,631 - no. - good, then I'll Buy you a drink. 418 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:04,513 Are you here to have Fun, or to find chrissy? 419 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,236 - what? - there she is. 420 00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:09,752 Charley, charley blake. 421 00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:11,754 - huh? - I've been waiting To meet you. 422 00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:15,457 Wha... Top vice President of sales. 423 00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:17,593 - that's me. - and the biggest phony Of the bunch! 424 00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:20,328 - what? - you wouldn't even Answer my phone calls. 425 00:20:20,352 --> 00:20:23,131 Now, what the hell happened To that shipment I ordered? 426 00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:25,467 Shipment? Oh, oh! The ship... Tomorrow. 427 00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:27,469 Tomorrow your Shipment will come in, 428 00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:30,293 Or my name's not Uh, uh, charley blake. 429 00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:33,475 - it better be there. - you got it. 430 00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:35,944 Are you here to make business Deals, or to save chrissy? 431 00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,278 Cut it out, janet. 432 00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:39,281 Oh, look, look, Jack. There she is. 433 00:20:39,305 --> 00:20:41,238 And the winner is... 434 00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,319 Room 104. 435 00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:47,022 - that's my room! Let's go. - where we goin'? 436 00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:49,524 - nowhere! Come here, chrissy. - what are you... 437 00:20:49,548 --> 00:20:51,594 - game's over, mister. - wait a minute, buddy. 438 00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,729 - you're not taking Her anywhere. - hang on. 439 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:57,666 Hey, it's not for me. Mr. Swackhammer sent for her. 440 00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,623 - swackhammer? - yeah. 441 00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:05,207 - hey, what are you Guys doing here? - chrissy, come on. 442 00:21:05,231 --> 00:21:06,808 You have to... It's Past your bedtime. 443 00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:08,377 But I don't want to go to bed. 444 00:21:08,401 --> 00:21:10,961 That's why we're Taking you home. 445 00:21:15,073 --> 00:21:17,118 Darlene, anything I can help you with? 446 00:21:17,142 --> 00:21:19,120 no, thanks, jack. I'm all packed. 447 00:21:19,144 --> 00:21:20,756 Uh-huh. 448 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,259 Gee, I'm sorry we didn't get A chance to see your mother. 449 00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:24,926 Uh, yeah, well, uh, 450 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:27,596 It's too bad she got Bitten by that old flu bug. 451 00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,265 I thought it was arthritis. 452 00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:31,833 Oh, yeah, well, that's, Well, where it bit her, 453 00:21:31,857 --> 00:21:34,670 In her arthritis. 454 00:21:34,694 --> 00:21:38,140 Darlene, your cab's Down there. Here you go. 455 00:21:38,164 --> 00:21:40,743 - don't you think I should wait And say goodbye to chrissy? - no, no, huh-uh. 456 00:21:40,767 --> 00:21:43,612 See, she's gonna be Gone for a very long time. 457 00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:45,114 Yeah, maybe longer. 458 00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:47,578 When she goes shopping, She's off for hours. 459 00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:50,085 Hi. 460 00:21:50,109 --> 00:21:53,522 My, how time flies. 461 00:21:53,546 --> 00:21:56,058 I'm so glad I got to see You before you left. 462 00:21:56,082 --> 00:21:58,394 - do you have to move In to the hotel? - yes, I do. 463 00:21:58,418 --> 00:22:01,663 - and it'll be closer To my work. - aww. 464 00:22:01,687 --> 00:22:04,399 I just want you to know, I Really had a good time last night. 465 00:22:04,423 --> 00:22:07,136 Everyone was so friendly. 466 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,338 Friendly. Isn't she priceless? 467 00:22:10,362 --> 00:22:13,297 Yes, she is, and she's Gonna stay that way. 468 00:22:16,903 --> 00:22:18,547 Oh, well, it's time to go. 469 00:22:18,571 --> 00:22:21,216 Well, goodbye. Have a Good time at the convention. 470 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,520 Chrissy. 471 00:22:23,375 --> 00:22:24,575 Yeah. 472 00:22:25,444 --> 00:22:26,444 Bye. 473 00:22:27,813 --> 00:22:29,191 Oh. 474 00:22:29,215 --> 00:22:32,661 Poor darlene. She really Puts up a front, doesn't she? 475 00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:34,930 She does? 476 00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:37,499 Oh, come on. 477 00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:39,935 She may have fooled you Two, but she didn't fool me. 478 00:22:39,959 --> 00:22:42,337 - she didn't? - no. 479 00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:44,806 She's not really happy Doing what she's doing. 480 00:22:44,830 --> 00:22:46,541 She's not? 481 00:22:46,565 --> 00:22:48,443 Of course not. 482 00:22:48,467 --> 00:22:50,801 What she needs is a man. 483 00:23:00,679 --> 00:23:04,259 Come on, chrissy. Mother's Expecting us by 3:30. 484 00:23:04,283 --> 00:23:07,328 - just a minute. - it's a two-hour drive To san diego, remember? 485 00:23:07,352 --> 00:23:10,999 - I'm trying to write a Birthday card to your mother. - chrissy, please. 486 00:23:11,023 --> 00:23:12,868 Okay, okay, okay. Just listen to this. 487 00:23:12,892 --> 00:23:15,203 As though we had a choice. 488 00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:18,540 "M is for the mother Of our very best friend. 489 00:23:18,564 --> 00:23:21,131 "O" is for oh, she really is. 490 00:23:23,135 --> 00:23:25,681 "T" is for the tender Care she gave him. 491 00:23:25,705 --> 00:23:27,015 "H" is for..." 492 00:23:27,039 --> 00:23:28,250 Hurry up. 493 00:23:28,274 --> 00:23:31,387 No, "H" is for "Heart so pure." 494 00:23:31,411 --> 00:23:34,089 Put it all together And it spells "Moth." 495 00:23:34,113 --> 00:23:35,591 Okay, good, chrissy. 496 00:23:35,615 --> 00:23:38,059 Let's go, all right? Let's Move it, come on, please. 497 00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:40,161 - I'll finish it in the car. - wait, wait, wait, wait. 498 00:23:40,185 --> 00:23:42,664 Did you ever bother to tell your Mother that we all live together? 499 00:23:42,688 --> 00:23:44,867 - chrissy: yeah. - uh, no. 500 00:23:44,891 --> 00:23:47,602 Well, jack, maybe We better not go. 501 00:23:47,626 --> 00:23:50,405 - I'm gonna tell her today. - today? 502 00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:52,941 Yeah, isn't that gonna be A bit of a shock for her? 503 00:23:52,965 --> 00:23:55,477 No, because my mother is Very broad-minded and liberal. 504 00:23:55,501 --> 00:23:57,646 - she's as modern as they come. - janet: oh. 505 00:23:57,670 --> 00:24:00,261 There's just one thing though. She happens to be nearsighted. 506 00:24:00,285 --> 00:24:00,783 Janet: so? 507 00:24:00,807 --> 00:24:03,652 So if I introduce you As dave and you as tom, 508 00:24:03,676 --> 00:24:05,320 Just play along with it, okay? 509 00:24:05,344 --> 00:24:06,777 Jack! 510 00:24:34,340 --> 00:24:37,686 John ritter: three's company was Videotaped in front of a studio audience. 38188

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