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1
00:00:02,168 --> 00:00:04,102
- hey, julie.
- what, gabe?
2
00:00:04,137 --> 00:00:06,115
- did I ever tell you
About my uncle arnold?
3
00:00:06,139 --> 00:00:08,017
- wasn't he the one who
Needed a hearing aid?
4
00:00:08,041 --> 00:00:09,006
- no, no, no.
5
00:00:09,041 --> 00:00:11,175
He was the one who
Needed a hearing aid.
6
00:00:11,210 --> 00:00:13,444
- like one of his
Relatives I know.
7
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:15,524
- yeah, well, anyway,
8
00:00:15,548 --> 00:00:17,593
My uncle arnold buys
This expensive hearing aid
9
00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:19,128
And he's showing
It to his friend saul.
10
00:00:19,152 --> 00:00:21,418
He says, "Saul, this is
The greatest hearing aid
11
00:00:21,454 --> 00:00:22,419
On the market.
12
00:00:22,455 --> 00:00:23,933
Boy, can you hear things
With this hearing aid!
13
00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:24,922
It's terrific.
14
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:26,869
A wonderful invention,
This hearing aid."
15
00:00:26,893 --> 00:00:28,938
His friend saul
Says, "What kind is it?"
16
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:31,042
My uncle says, "It's
A quarter to three."
17
00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:46,109
♪ welcome back ♪
18
00:00:46,145 --> 00:00:49,981
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
19
00:00:50,016 --> 00:00:52,116
♪ welcome back ♪
20
00:00:52,151 --> 00:00:56,754
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
21
00:00:56,789 --> 00:01:00,958
♪ well the names have all
Changed since you hung around ♪
22
00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:05,596
♪ but those dreams have remained
And they've turned around ♪
23
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,831
♪ and who'd have
Thought they'd lead ya ♪
24
00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:09,912
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
25
00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:12,069
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
26
00:01:12,104 --> 00:01:14,205
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
27
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,006
♪ yeah we teased him a lot ♪
28
00:01:16,041 --> 00:01:18,241
♪ 'cause we got
Him on the spot ♪
29
00:01:18,277 --> 00:01:20,377
♪ welcome back ♪
30
00:01:20,412 --> 00:01:27,084
♪ welcome back welcome
Back welcome back ♪
31
00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:42,167
- julie!
32
00:01:45,004 --> 00:01:46,481
I've got the rest
Of the decorations.
33
00:01:46,505 --> 00:01:48,806
Got some more tinsel and...
34
00:01:49,842 --> 00:01:51,776
Uh-oh.
- what?
35
00:01:51,811 --> 00:01:54,171
- I think I put them a little
Too close to the heater.
36
00:01:56,515 --> 00:01:58,149
- oh, honey.
37
00:01:58,184 --> 00:02:01,619
the three wise men
All melted together.
38
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:07,992
- yeah, well just think of
Them now as "One wise blob."
39
00:02:10,129 --> 00:02:13,664
- on hanukkah, I didn't
Melt your menorah, gabe.
40
00:02:14,834 --> 00:02:16,834
- aw, come on, honey...
41
00:02:16,869 --> 00:02:17,913
This is the first christmas eve
42
00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:19,403
When we've all been together,
43
00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:21,473
Just you...
44
00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:23,909
Me...
45
00:02:25,111 --> 00:02:26,276
The babies.
46
00:02:28,547 --> 00:02:30,214
And the door.
47
00:02:31,550 --> 00:02:32,595
It's supposed to
Be christmas eve;
48
00:02:32,619 --> 00:02:34,952
Not even a creature is
Supposed to be stirring.
49
00:02:40,993 --> 00:02:43,271
You're not gonna believe
What's coming in the door.
50
00:02:43,295 --> 00:02:44,595
- ho, ho, ho!
51
00:02:44,630 --> 00:02:47,130
Ho, ho, ho! Ho!
52
00:02:48,567 --> 00:02:52,737
Merry christmas
And a baaad new year.
53
00:02:54,473 --> 00:02:57,541
- I'm arnold, the
Littlest reindeer
54
00:02:57,576 --> 00:03:01,712
And I am here to spread
Some seasonal cheer.
55
00:03:03,883 --> 00:03:05,894
- whoa, pullin' a
Sled up them stairs,
56
00:03:05,918 --> 00:03:07,985
That's... That's murder.
57
00:03:08,020 --> 00:03:10,199
I don't... I don't know
How santa claus does it.
58
00:03:10,223 --> 00:03:13,424
- well, that's why hanukkah's
A better holiday, you know.
59
00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:15,726
At least you get
Eight days for delivery.
60
00:03:17,062 --> 00:03:20,063
- yeah, well, I'm
Tired of being bambi.
61
00:03:20,099 --> 00:03:22,600
I'm gonna be santa claus now.
62
00:03:22,635 --> 00:03:23,768
- all right, vinnie.
63
00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:26,536
You can be santa right after
You stop off at my house.
64
00:03:26,572 --> 00:03:29,539
And remember, ain't everybody
Dreamin' of a white christmas.
65
00:03:32,411 --> 00:03:35,345
- you know, guys, it's
Times like this christmas,
66
00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:38,616
We're all together
And just thinkin' about it
67
00:03:38,651 --> 00:03:40,428
I realize just how
Close we've all gotten
68
00:03:40,452 --> 00:03:43,120
And how much we all
Mean to each other.
69
00:03:44,156 --> 00:03:48,458
- hey, horshack, big
News flash: you're short!
70
00:03:50,096 --> 00:03:51,728
You too, munchkin.
71
00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:55,566
The whole room is short.
72
00:03:56,602 --> 00:03:57,602
- hi, there.
73
00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:01,984
- when I'm in that
Classroom, I think of myself
74
00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:04,908
As a missionary among
Savages in new guinea.
75
00:04:06,578 --> 00:04:09,614
- come on, guess
Who's coming to dinner.
76
00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:11,749
- okay, what are you cooking?
77
00:04:11,784 --> 00:04:14,618
- my world-famous
Tuna casserole.
78
00:04:14,653 --> 00:04:17,021
- it's nobody that we
Ever wanna see again.
79
00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:21,403
- vinnie, this report
Card's soggy.
80
00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:23,227
- my mother cried on it.
81
00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:25,963
- hi, there.
82
00:04:27,066 --> 00:04:28,843
- hi, there, buddy.
- hey, baby!
83
00:04:28,867 --> 00:04:30,045
- where's your report card?
84
00:04:30,069 --> 00:04:31,035
- my report... Well,
See I don't happen
85
00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:33,003
To have it right here handy.
86
00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:38,275
- you know, horshack's a
Very old and respected name.
87
00:04:40,212 --> 00:04:43,614
It means "The cattle are dying."
88
00:04:46,285 --> 00:04:47,863
- have you bitten
Anybody lately?
89
00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:49,731
- oh, you know how
It is in china, boss;
90
00:04:49,755 --> 00:04:50,721
You bite somebody,
91
00:04:50,756 --> 00:04:52,467
Two hours later you
Wanna bite 'em again.
92
00:04:52,491 --> 00:04:54,858
Ha! Hey, that's pretty good.
93
00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:57,260
- they do a lot of
Pretending in that class.
94
00:04:59,498 --> 00:05:02,332
They pretend to be students,
He pretends to be a teacher.
95
00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:06,870
- you love my tuna casserole!
96
00:05:06,905 --> 00:05:10,774
- no, you love your
Tuna casserole.
97
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,844
Nobody puts prunes
In a tuna casserole.
98
00:05:16,749 --> 00:05:18,582
- you makin' fun of me?
99
00:05:18,617 --> 00:05:20,517
- wha?
100
00:05:20,553 --> 00:05:22,431
- listen, I got
Something to tell you.
101
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:24,388
Your sister, juan, your sister.
102
00:05:24,423 --> 00:05:26,657
- oh, yeah? Forget my sister.
103
00:05:26,692 --> 00:05:28,692
Your mother.
104
00:05:30,395 --> 00:05:32,107
- not my mother.
That woman's a saint.
105
00:05:32,131 --> 00:05:33,931
- oh, yeah?
106
00:05:33,966 --> 00:05:36,600
The light around her
Head don't fool me.
107
00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:39,770
- hey, vinnie!
108
00:05:40,873 --> 00:05:42,372
They tellin' me your mother...
109
00:05:46,178 --> 00:05:47,178
- hi, there.
110
00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:51,448
- yeah. Hi... Hi there.
111
00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:53,095
Where... Where is your notebook?
112
00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:54,151
- my notebook?
113
00:05:54,186 --> 00:05:57,054
Well, I just don't happen
To have it here... Handy!
114
00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:00,791
- I am ready, kotter,
115
00:06:00,826 --> 00:06:04,161
To see you make a complete
And utter fool of yourself.
116
00:06:08,768 --> 00:06:11,968
- I tried something new
With the tuna casserole.
117
00:06:12,004 --> 00:06:15,739
The hard things
Are coffee beans.
118
00:06:18,611 --> 00:06:20,144
- hey, kotter.
119
00:06:20,179 --> 00:06:22,879
Up your nose with a rubber hose.
120
00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:26,016
- up your nose
With a rubber hose!
121
00:06:26,051 --> 00:06:28,352
- up your nose
With a rubber hose.
122
00:06:28,387 --> 00:06:30,332
- why don't you take one
End of the rubber hose
123
00:06:30,356 --> 00:06:32,289
And put it in your mouth,
124
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:35,426
And then you take the other
And you put it up your nose,
125
00:06:35,461 --> 00:06:39,329
And then you blow 'til
Your brains fall out.
126
00:06:39,364 --> 00:06:41,564
- they can't be allowed
To mingle with people.
127
00:06:43,502 --> 00:06:46,703
Take them to the zoo
So they can see family.
128
00:06:52,011 --> 00:06:53,522
- what do you guys got to eat?
129
00:06:53,546 --> 00:06:54,756
Julie: here, vinnie.
130
00:06:54,780 --> 00:06:56,291
why don't you have some
Of this nice fruitcake
131
00:06:56,315 --> 00:06:57,548
That my mother sent us?
132
00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,550
- oh, no. I couldn't eat that.
133
00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:01,452
No. It gets stuck in my teeth.
134
00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:05,656
Yeah, last time I ate it, I
Couldn't get it out for weeks.
135
00:07:05,691 --> 00:07:08,325
You got those...
Those... Those cookies?
136
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:10,038
The kind that's shaped
Into little santa clauses
137
00:07:10,062 --> 00:07:12,696
And little bells with
Little candies on 'em?
138
00:07:12,731 --> 00:07:15,666
Little candy buttons?
Oh, they're delicious.
139
00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:17,112
- vinnie, by now I'd think
You'd learn to settle
140
00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:18,835
For what we have.
141
00:07:18,871 --> 00:07:20,115
'member what
Happened the last time
142
00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:22,139
You tried to ask
For something else?
143
00:07:23,175 --> 00:07:24,375
Strawberry tarts.
144
00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:26,370
You like strawberry
Tarts, vinnie?
145
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:28,945
- they're all right.
146
00:07:31,049 --> 00:07:33,295
- look julie, you know, when
The sweathogs have a problem,
147
00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:35,759
You know how that makes me...
- you got chocolate pudding?
148
00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:38,266
- we don't have any
Chocolate pudding,
149
00:07:38,290 --> 00:07:40,068
Do we, julie?
- no, we don't have any.
150
00:07:40,092 --> 00:07:41,302
- we don't have any
Chocolate pudding.
151
00:07:41,326 --> 00:07:42,292
They have a problem
152
00:07:42,327 --> 00:07:43,371
And they won't
Talk to each other,
153
00:07:43,395 --> 00:07:44,361
And if they won't
Talk to each other,
154
00:07:44,396 --> 00:07:45,473
I can't teach 'em anything,
155
00:07:45,497 --> 00:07:47,008
And if I can't teach 'em
Anything, I just get cranky.
156
00:07:47,032 --> 00:07:47,998
- I know, honey.
157
00:07:48,033 --> 00:07:50,433
- how 'bout spumoni?
You got spumoni?
158
00:07:51,570 --> 00:07:52,681
- we have any ice cream?
159
00:07:52,705 --> 00:07:53,670
- no.
160
00:07:53,706 --> 00:07:55,472
We have tarts, vinnie.
161
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:56,874
Tarts.
162
00:07:56,909 --> 00:07:58,542
That's it.
163
00:07:58,577 --> 00:08:01,778
Look, I know that, honey, but
When you keep making jokes
164
00:08:01,813 --> 00:08:02,980
About my tuna casserole...
165
00:08:03,015 --> 00:08:05,093
- how 'bout danish? You
Got, like, cherry danish?
166
00:08:05,117 --> 00:08:06,550
Nice cherry danish?
167
00:08:08,687 --> 00:08:10,832
- vinnie, look, you wanna
Have dessert, have a tart.
168
00:08:10,856 --> 00:08:12,700
If you don't wanna have a
Tart, don't have anything.
169
00:08:12,724 --> 00:08:14,236
That's all we
Have, okay, is tarts.
170
00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:15,225
- okay.
171
00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:16,638
- julie, when you say
Things about my jokes,
172
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:17,906
You know how that makes me feel.
173
00:08:17,930 --> 00:08:18,896
- it wouldn't have to be cherry.
174
00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:22,633
Could be like, you
Know, prune or cheese.
175
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:24,067
We could send out.
176
00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:30,608
- wanna know what the
Biggest joke in this house is?
177
00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:32,087
Julie: what?
- your tuna casserole.
178
00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:34,022
If you just wouldn't make
Tuna casserole anymore,
179
00:08:34,046 --> 00:08:36,246
I mean, I...
- gabe, you wanna know
180
00:08:36,281 --> 00:08:40,651
What I think about
Your uncle abdul?
181
00:08:51,430 --> 00:08:52,674
- I don't believe
You did that, julie.
182
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:54,338
Julie: believe it.
183
00:08:57,069 --> 00:08:59,402
- wanna know what I think
About your family, julie?
184
00:09:01,006 --> 00:09:04,341
I have something I'd like you
To send back to nebraska,
185
00:09:04,376 --> 00:09:05,843
Special delivery.
186
00:09:15,788 --> 00:09:18,589
- how 'bout expresso? You
Got some nice expresso?
187
00:09:19,992 --> 00:09:20,957
My mother...
188
00:09:20,993 --> 00:09:24,060
My mother she
Always gives expresso,
189
00:09:24,096 --> 00:09:26,162
Only the finest.
190
00:09:33,372 --> 00:09:34,338
Oh, very funny.
191
00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:38,041
Big joke, right? That
Almost got me killed.
192
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:39,943
- how, it was only a tart?
193
00:09:39,978 --> 00:09:40,944
- "Only a tart"?
194
00:09:40,979 --> 00:09:42,457
Do you know... Do
You have any idea
195
00:09:42,481 --> 00:09:44,092
What it's like to walk
Through brooklyn
196
00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:45,127
In the middle of
The night with...
197
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:47,551
With whipped cream
On your eyebrows?
198
00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:48,619
- yeah, man, but...
199
00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:50,131
But mrs. Kotter,
Vinnie's right, man.
200
00:09:50,155 --> 00:09:52,534
A person's gotta be real careful
Where they walk in brooklyn.
201
00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:53,524
I ain't lyin'. You ain't...
202
00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:54,769
You never know what
Could happen to you.
203
00:09:54,793 --> 00:09:56,092
It's just like that time...
204
00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:57,806
'member that time when I
Went on the other side of town
205
00:09:57,830 --> 00:10:00,096
And that rival gang
Come up on top of me?
206
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:03,000
- where've you been, freddie?
207
00:10:03,035 --> 00:10:04,913
- oh, wow, man. I
Had some trouble.
208
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,114
- what happened?
- hey, you okay?
209
00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:07,782
- hey, man, those guys
Over at newu track
210
00:10:07,806 --> 00:10:09,539
Said I invaded they turf.
211
00:10:09,574 --> 00:10:10,607
- well, did you?
212
00:10:10,642 --> 00:10:12,676
- no, not exactly.
213
00:10:12,711 --> 00:10:15,345
Actually, I invaded
Pearl jackson.
214
00:10:15,381 --> 00:10:17,514
- oh.
215
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,394
- unfortunately,
She happens to live
216
00:10:19,418 --> 00:10:21,329
Right in the
Middle of they turf.
217
00:10:21,353 --> 00:10:22,397
But y'all don't worry.
218
00:10:22,421 --> 00:10:24,265
Ol' boom boom knows how
To take care of himself.
219
00:10:24,289 --> 00:10:25,934
See, man, I got surrounded
By these seven big,
220
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:27,235
Bad newu track cats. Right, man?
221
00:10:27,259 --> 00:10:28,303
Now, I mean, it
Was comin' on me.
222
00:10:28,327 --> 00:10:31,394
- wait... Wait a second.
There was seven of 'em?
223
00:10:31,430 --> 00:10:32,674
- well, either there
Was seven or two.
224
00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:33,931
I don't know.
225
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,834
Anyway, I looked
'em right in the eye
226
00:10:37,869 --> 00:10:41,538
And then I say, "Hi, there."
227
00:10:45,844 --> 00:10:49,712
They don't say nothin'.
They just look at me mean.
228
00:10:49,748 --> 00:10:51,882
So, I holds my ground
And I looked 'em
229
00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:53,628
Straight back in
The eye one more time
230
00:10:53,652 --> 00:10:56,987
And then I said
To 'em, "Bye, there."
231
00:11:00,626 --> 00:11:01,591
Hey, boys, you guys,
232
00:11:01,627 --> 00:11:03,005
You probably didn't
Know it at the time,
233
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:06,396
But I... I was scared.
234
00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:07,876
- aw, come on. You're kidding.
235
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:10,266
- yeah, you know when
Those guys from newu track
236
00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:12,146
Really put the
Scare into freddie?
237
00:11:12,170 --> 00:11:14,438
- yeah? He ran home.
238
00:11:16,442 --> 00:11:17,741
- we almost got into fisticuffs
239
00:11:17,776 --> 00:11:19,709
With carvelli and his gang.
240
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,328
- looks like we don't
Have to go to the dance.
241
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,685
Here's the
Entertainment committee.
242
00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:30,165
- I didn't think they
Was gonna show up.
243
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:33,257
- all right. Who's
The leader here?
244
00:11:41,166 --> 00:11:48,471
Uh, we heard you, uh,
Sweathogs was lookin' for us,
245
00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:53,143
So, uh, we thought we'd
Make ourselves easy to find.
246
00:12:00,085 --> 00:12:01,518
- you got a disease?
247
00:12:05,190 --> 00:12:06,389
Was you lookin' for us?
248
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:08,925
- what?
249
00:12:12,397 --> 00:12:17,868
- was you... Lookin'... For us?
250
00:12:18,870 --> 00:12:19,870
- where?
251
00:12:21,106 --> 00:12:24,141
- wow. I thought
We was remedial.
252
00:12:24,176 --> 00:12:25,475
- hey, hey, hey.
253
00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:27,188
Enough of this lip service here.
254
00:12:27,212 --> 00:12:28,812
I came here for some action.
255
00:12:28,847 --> 00:12:31,981
Who's the first guy who wants
To lose control of his face?
256
00:12:34,152 --> 00:12:35,419
- will you cool it?
257
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:36,454
- who is this guy?
258
00:12:36,488 --> 00:12:38,488
- him? He's our teacher.
259
00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:48,699
- your teacher?
260
00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:52,001
It's a tough school.
261
00:12:53,004 --> 00:12:54,382
- all right. Let's go.
262
00:12:54,406 --> 00:12:55,806
- no, wait!
263
00:12:55,841 --> 00:12:56,885
All right, now you can start.
264
00:12:56,909 --> 00:12:59,242
I don't like to watch
Him dismember people.
265
00:13:05,384 --> 00:13:07,784
- that's the oldest
Punk I ever saw.
266
00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:12,122
You a senior?
267
00:13:14,926 --> 00:13:16,726
- I'm the vice principal.
268
00:13:17,796 --> 00:13:19,129
- vice principal?
269
00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:22,633
This is a tough school!
270
00:13:24,469 --> 00:13:25,680
- hey, mr. Kotter, is
It true that you was
271
00:13:25,704 --> 00:13:28,405
One of the tough guys
When you was in school?
272
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,975
- well... I could hold my own.
273
00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:33,922
- yeah? Well, frankie
Brenner's brother told me
274
00:13:33,946 --> 00:13:34,912
That you was in a fight
275
00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:36,491
With one of the
Toughest guys in school.
276
00:13:36,515 --> 00:13:37,881
What happened?
277
00:13:39,851 --> 00:13:40,950
- hey, you know,
278
00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:42,697
It's a good time to
Open the presents.
279
00:13:42,721 --> 00:13:44,288
- oh yeah!
- yeah.
280
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:46,468
- what you got for
Me this time, baby?
281
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,436
- this one's for
Epstein. There you go.
282
00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:50,360
Washington, there you are.
283
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:51,361
- I wonder what it is.
284
00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:52,641
- thank you!
- horshack.
285
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:53,997
- oh, another one...
286
00:13:54,032 --> 00:13:55,477
- here, barbarino. For you.
287
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:56,501
Oh!
288
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:03,440
- oh, thanks, fellas, a
Planter in the shape of a cow.
289
00:14:03,475 --> 00:14:04,841
- yeah, wait'll you water it.
290
00:14:04,876 --> 00:14:07,277
You're not gonna
Believe how it drains.
291
00:14:10,382 --> 00:14:12,382
- well, thanks a lot, juan.
292
00:14:12,417 --> 00:14:13,862
That's the kind
Of presents I like.
293
00:14:13,886 --> 00:14:16,052
Things I would
Never buy for myself.
294
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:21,457
Oh, look who it
Is. It's santa fraud.
295
00:14:22,961 --> 00:14:24,261
I mean, uh, santa claus.
296
00:14:24,296 --> 00:14:26,963
- ho, ho, ho, and a
Merry christmas.
297
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:29,399
- I'm sorry, mr. Woodman,
298
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:31,601
But you're a little late
Because santa claus,
299
00:14:31,636 --> 00:14:32,669
He's already here.
300
00:14:32,704 --> 00:14:34,416
Check him out. All right!
301
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,606
- yeah, that's
Right, mr. Woodman.
302
00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:38,809
An... Anyway, you
Look more like an elf.
303
00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:41,678
- oh yeah?
304
00:14:41,713 --> 00:14:46,082
Hey, barbarino, up your
Nose with some mistletoe.
305
00:14:47,419 --> 00:14:49,653
- come on. Cut it out.
306
00:14:49,688 --> 00:14:51,866
Remember what happened
Last time you guys had a fight.
307
00:14:51,890 --> 00:14:53,490
- ooh, yeah.
308
00:14:53,525 --> 00:14:56,092
- this your locker, barbarino?
309
00:14:56,128 --> 00:14:57,128
- what?
310
00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:01,465
- this locker. Is
This your locker?
311
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:02,532
- where?
312
00:15:04,169 --> 00:15:05,836
- "What? Where?"
313
00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:08,705
Barbarino, the only
Reason you got a head
314
00:15:08,740 --> 00:15:10,573
Is to separate your ears.
315
00:15:10,608 --> 00:15:13,042
- oooh! Oooh!
316
00:15:14,713 --> 00:15:16,613
- "Separate"?
317
00:15:16,648 --> 00:15:18,259
I think mr. Woodman
Just ranked you.
318
00:15:18,283 --> 00:15:19,860
- well, can I rank him back
Without gettin' in trouble?
319
00:15:19,884 --> 00:15:21,651
Can I do that?
320
00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:24,020
- I don't know. Can he do that?
321
00:15:24,055 --> 00:15:25,021
- sure.
322
00:15:25,057 --> 00:15:27,156
I used to be
Pretty good at this.
323
00:15:28,259 --> 00:15:31,561
Go ahead, give me your
Best shot, clam-breath.
324
00:15:37,135 --> 00:15:38,612
- and I won't get in no trouble?
325
00:15:38,636 --> 00:15:40,837
- no.
- you mean it?
326
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:43,106
- sure I mean it, macaroni-puss.
327
00:15:46,611 --> 00:15:49,812
- well, listen, you
Snowcapped leprechaun!
328
00:15:52,817 --> 00:15:55,063
You look like somebody
Played "Danny boy" on your face
329
00:15:55,087 --> 00:15:56,786
With an ugly stick.
330
00:15:56,821 --> 00:15:59,556
- oooooh!
331
00:15:59,591 --> 00:16:02,092
- very funny, barbarino.
That's so funny,
332
00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:04,660
You can stay after
School for two weeks.
333
00:16:06,698 --> 00:16:07,698
- wait a second.
334
00:16:07,732 --> 00:16:10,066
Mr. Woodman, you told
Him that it was all right.
335
00:16:10,101 --> 00:16:12,301
- just cool it, brillo-head.
336
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:17,273
- boy, you know, it's
Really dumb to fight.
337
00:16:18,276 --> 00:16:19,942
- who you callin' dumb?
338
00:16:21,112 --> 00:16:24,314
- hey, vinnie, come on. I
Didn't mean nothin' by it.
339
00:16:24,349 --> 00:16:28,585
It's just very good advice,
And after what I went through,
340
00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:31,321
I'm lucky I got a mouth
To be able to say it.
341
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:35,425
- you don't scare us, carvelli.
342
00:16:35,460 --> 00:16:37,138
Any one of my boys here
Could make you feel like
343
00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:39,562
You've just been
Through a blender.
344
00:16:39,598 --> 00:16:43,566
- yeah! How would you like
It if we frappéd your face?
345
00:16:45,370 --> 00:16:47,403
- hey, I didn't hear
That, horshack.
346
00:16:47,438 --> 00:16:51,007
- he asked if you like your
Face frapped, carvelli.
347
00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:53,409
- I heard him.
348
00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:58,781
- hey, carvelli, I sure hope
You ain't allergic to canvas,
349
00:16:58,817 --> 00:17:02,219
Because that's where you're
Going to be spending friday:
350
00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:04,120
Facedown!
351
00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:07,735
- are you threatening
Me, horshack?
352
00:17:07,759 --> 00:17:08,725
- this is gettin' out of line.
353
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:09,726
- he didn't mean it.
He... He didn't mean it.
354
00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:10,894
- outta line, huh?
355
00:17:10,929 --> 00:17:13,697
The only thing that's gonna
Be outta line is your spine.
356
00:17:13,732 --> 00:17:15,064
Ha-ha!
357
00:17:19,338 --> 00:17:23,840
Your face is gonna
Be so uglyyyyyy,
358
00:17:23,875 --> 00:17:26,209
We're gonna have to
Close it down on weekends.
359
00:17:29,247 --> 00:17:31,581
- all right, all right.
360
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:33,116
That's it, horshack.
361
00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:34,184
I want you.
362
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:35,219
- whoa, whoa.
363
00:17:36,754 --> 00:17:37,832
- come on, you
Heard what he said.
364
00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:39,922
- me?
- yeah, you. Mouth.
365
00:17:39,958 --> 00:17:40,958
- me?
366
00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:44,227
What did I say?
367
00:17:45,664 --> 00:17:47,275
- hey, arnold, you gotta
Be some kind of jerk
368
00:17:47,299 --> 00:17:49,144
To get in a fight with
That guy carvelli.
369
00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:51,501
I mean, he could've
Rearranged your face.
370
00:17:51,537 --> 00:17:53,114
Might've helped.
371
00:17:54,806 --> 00:17:57,007
- oh is that so, little juan?
372
00:17:57,042 --> 00:17:58,619
Well, let us not forget the time
373
00:17:58,643 --> 00:18:00,421
That you got beat
Up by todd ludlow
374
00:18:00,445 --> 00:18:01,745
And was afraid to face us.
375
00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:04,414
- well, I didn't get
Beat up. I just slipped.
376
00:18:04,449 --> 00:18:07,417
- oh, sure. Your head
Slipped into his fist
377
00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:09,352
About ten or twenty times.
378
00:18:12,490 --> 00:18:15,191
- juan! This is julie.
379
00:18:15,226 --> 00:18:18,261
I've got your flat soda for you.
380
00:18:18,296 --> 00:18:19,796
- pour it under the door.
381
00:18:21,733 --> 00:18:23,378
- juan, the only way
You're gonna get this soda
382
00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:25,213
Is to get your
Tail out of there.
383
00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:26,903
- look, mrs. Kotter's out there,
384
00:18:26,938 --> 00:18:28,950
And I don't feel
Like facin' a woman.
385
00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:30,014
- don't worry, juan.
386
00:18:30,041 --> 00:18:32,275
I'll lock myself
In the bathroom.
387
00:18:32,311 --> 00:18:35,312
- okay, look, you gotta
Promise me one thing, mr. Kotter.
388
00:18:35,347 --> 00:18:36,413
- I promise.
389
00:18:37,549 --> 00:18:38,815
What did I promise?
390
00:18:38,850 --> 00:18:40,750
- that you don't look at me.
391
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,452
- okay.
392
00:18:42,487 --> 00:18:44,321
I look at a lamp.
393
00:18:56,701 --> 00:18:59,436
Well, epstein. Nice
To see you again.
394
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:01,511
You lost a little
Weight, haven't you?
395
00:19:02,841 --> 00:19:04,418
- hey, mr. Kotter,
The second rule after
396
00:19:04,442 --> 00:19:07,076
"Don't look at me" is
"Don't make fun of me."
397
00:19:07,112 --> 00:19:09,056
- epstein, if you didn't
Want me to look at you,
398
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:10,546
Then why did you come here?
399
00:19:10,581 --> 00:19:11,981
- to say goodbye.
400
00:19:12,017 --> 00:19:14,583
I'm runnin' away
To join the circus.
401
00:19:16,621 --> 00:19:17,753
- don't you know that...
402
00:19:17,789 --> 00:19:19,829
- don't look at me!
Look at the lamp.
403
00:19:19,857 --> 00:19:22,692
- don't you know
That the one thing
404
00:19:22,727 --> 00:19:25,127
You can't run away
From is yourself,
405
00:19:25,163 --> 00:19:29,031
Because no matter where
You go, lamp, you go with you?
406
00:19:30,034 --> 00:19:32,268
So, why don't you
Go back to school?
407
00:19:32,303 --> 00:19:33,402
- I can't.
408
00:19:34,973 --> 00:19:36,216
- epstein, could I
Please look at you?
409
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,207
I can't get through
To this lamp.
410
00:19:39,978 --> 00:19:44,313
- okay, but kind of have, like,
No expression on your face.
411
00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:53,923
- epstein,
412
00:19:55,494 --> 00:19:58,895
Now tell me why
You can't go back.
413
00:20:00,598 --> 00:20:02,998
- 'cause I'm a punk.
414
00:20:03,034 --> 00:20:04,878
My friends are right
When they said it.
415
00:20:04,902 --> 00:20:09,272
I'm a punk... Uh, a
Child of the streets...
416
00:20:09,307 --> 00:20:11,941
A fly speck on
The highway of life.
417
00:20:13,244 --> 00:20:15,712
Ain't nobody cares
About me, man.
418
00:20:15,747 --> 00:20:17,191
- okay, then you tell
Me why those kids
419
00:20:17,215 --> 00:20:19,883
Have been combing the
City looking for you.
420
00:20:19,918 --> 00:20:21,551
- they have not.
421
00:20:21,586 --> 00:20:26,088
- they have, in their
Own way, of course.
422
00:20:26,124 --> 00:20:29,425
Hey, they care about you, juan.
423
00:20:29,460 --> 00:20:31,627
We all care about you.
424
00:20:31,662 --> 00:20:33,829
- then how come
You didn't write?
425
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:39,236
- well, juan, you learned
Something important from that.
426
00:20:39,271 --> 00:20:41,437
- I did?
427
00:20:41,472 --> 00:20:44,340
- you learned that violence
Can't solve your problems.
428
00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:47,009
- yeah, remember the
All-night sit-in at school?
429
00:20:47,045 --> 00:20:49,379
We got them to improve
The food in the cafeteria
430
00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:51,381
Through a peaceful
Demonstration.
431
00:20:53,352 --> 00:20:54,451
- hey, horshack.
432
00:20:54,486 --> 00:20:56,620
- huh?
- tell me something.
433
00:20:56,655 --> 00:20:59,289
You ever think about
What god is like?
434
00:20:59,324 --> 00:21:03,693
- oh yeah. I think he's short
435
00:21:04,896 --> 00:21:08,430
And he has a marvelous
Sense of humor
436
00:21:08,466 --> 00:21:10,166
And a great laugh.
437
00:21:11,435 --> 00:21:14,570
- hey, god can do anything.
438
00:21:15,740 --> 00:21:16,740
- he can?
439
00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:19,909
- she can.
440
00:21:22,246 --> 00:21:24,180
- you know, I think god is...
441
00:21:24,215 --> 00:21:27,584
Is kinda tough, you
Know, but he's fair.
442
00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:31,821
Sort of like... Like john wayne
In a white beard, you know.
443
00:21:31,856 --> 00:21:34,023
"All right, pilgrims.
444
00:21:34,059 --> 00:21:37,093
Move those clouds in a circle."
445
00:21:39,764 --> 00:21:42,532
- I got my own idea
Of what god is like.
446
00:21:42,567 --> 00:21:45,634
I know he's a sharp dresser,
447
00:21:45,670 --> 00:21:47,536
And he's good-looking,
448
00:21:47,572 --> 00:21:49,339
And of course he's italian.
449
00:21:50,776 --> 00:21:52,809
- yeah? Well, if you ask me,
450
00:21:52,844 --> 00:21:56,145
All that stuff about
Harps is a lot of jive.
451
00:21:56,180 --> 00:21:59,181
God is backed up by a
Jazz rhythm section.
452
00:22:00,218 --> 00:22:01,829
He got a piano, a basic guitar,
453
00:22:01,853 --> 00:22:03,987
And a drummer with
A good right foot.
454
00:22:05,690 --> 00:22:08,491
- well, I think
That god is love,
455
00:22:08,527 --> 00:22:12,462
And if god was here, he
Would love my tuna casserole.
456
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:16,599
- hey, mr. Kotter,
457
00:22:16,635 --> 00:22:19,469
What's your feelings
On this subject?
458
00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:24,040
- well, I think that,
Uh, god is everywhere.
459
00:22:24,075 --> 00:22:26,042
- even in liver?
460
00:22:28,246 --> 00:22:29,779
- he's everywhere.
461
00:22:29,814 --> 00:22:33,950
He's in times square,
Used to be in ebbets field.
462
00:22:33,985 --> 00:22:36,786
Spent a lot of
Time in ebbets field.
463
00:22:36,821 --> 00:22:38,688
He's moonlight in vermont,
464
00:22:38,723 --> 00:22:42,391
Autumn in new york,
All the standards.
465
00:22:42,426 --> 00:22:43,993
He's everywhere,
466
00:22:44,028 --> 00:22:47,563
With the possible exception
Of epstein's gym locker.
467
00:22:51,503 --> 00:22:52,668
- you know, guys...
468
00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:55,771
All of us being here
Together christmas eve
469
00:22:55,806 --> 00:22:57,584
Reminds me of a little story.
470
00:22:57,608 --> 00:23:00,009
You see, my uncle...
- a story?
471
00:23:00,044 --> 00:23:02,244
Gee we'd really love to hear it
472
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,640
But we gotta go spread around
A little christmas cheer here.
473
00:23:06,985 --> 00:23:08,428
- I'd love to stay and
Hear your story, kotter,
474
00:23:08,452 --> 00:23:10,052
But I already gave you a gift.
475
00:23:10,088 --> 00:23:11,587
Merry christmas.
476
00:23:11,622 --> 00:23:13,701
- yeah, mr. Kotter, we
Just gots to split here
477
00:23:13,725 --> 00:23:14,958
Before you start the story.
478
00:23:14,993 --> 00:23:16,159
- merry christmas.
479
00:23:17,495 --> 00:23:19,307
- merry christmas,
Mr. Kotter, mrs. Kotter,
480
00:23:19,331 --> 00:23:20,964
And the kotter-ettes too.
481
00:23:20,999 --> 00:23:22,097
- merry christmas!
482
00:23:22,133 --> 00:23:23,566
- all a good night.
483
00:23:25,003 --> 00:23:29,138
Well, honey,
Sugarplum, baby, this is it.
484
00:23:29,174 --> 00:23:31,274
All alone.
- yeah.
485
00:23:31,309 --> 00:23:32,853
- let me tell you this
Little story. You see, my...
486
00:23:32,877 --> 00:23:34,811
The babies!
487
00:23:42,353 --> 00:23:43,353
- julie?
488
00:23:44,388 --> 00:23:45,688
Julie?
489
00:23:56,968 --> 00:23:58,901
- oh, santa claus.
490
00:23:58,937 --> 00:24:01,237
Nice to see you again this year.
491
00:24:01,272 --> 00:24:04,907
Hey, did I ever tell you
About my cousin frieda?
492
00:24:04,943 --> 00:24:07,376
Well, you see, she
Had her nose fixed
493
00:24:07,411 --> 00:24:09,344
But it grew back.
494
00:24:10,548 --> 00:24:13,082
- ho, ho, ho!
495
00:24:31,769 --> 00:24:34,404
♪ welcome back ♪
496
00:24:34,439 --> 00:24:38,307
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
497
00:24:38,342 --> 00:24:40,576
♪ welcome back ♪
498
00:24:40,611 --> 00:24:45,214
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
499
00:24:45,249 --> 00:24:47,416
♪ well the names
Have all changed ♪
500
00:24:47,451 --> 00:24:49,685
♪ since you hung around ♪
501
00:24:49,721 --> 00:24:51,855
♪ but those dreams
Have remained ♪
502
00:24:51,890 --> 00:24:54,090
♪ and they've turned around ♪
503
00:24:54,125 --> 00:24:56,259
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
504
00:24:56,294 --> 00:24:58,239
♪ ♪
505
00:24:58,263 --> 00:25:00,330
♪ back here where we need ya? ♪
506
00:25:00,365 --> 00:25:02,465
♪ ♪
507
00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:04,333
♪ yeah we tease him a lot ♪
508
00:25:04,368 --> 00:25:06,502
♪ 'cause we've got
Him on the spot ♪
509
00:25:06,538 --> 00:25:08,638
♪ welcome back ♪
510
00:25:08,673 --> 00:25:11,607
♪ welcome back... ♪
37198
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