All language subtitles for wellington paranormal s02e06 1080p bluray x264-carved (1)

I really shouldn't
have to say this, guys,

but pepper spray is for self-defence
in the line of duty;

It is not for spraying
on your lunch.

OK? OK, everyone?

Pepper spray is for
assailants' eyes, not for pies.

Everyone. Pepper spray is for...

...assailants' eyes,
not for pies.

Ka pai.

Parker. What's wrong
with your eyes, Parker?

I- Yeah, I was just really moved
by your speech, Sarge. It...

I guess it's really clear that you really love your
police work and you really care about our safety.

Parker, did you ingest
your pepper spray?

I put some on my chilli con carne, but
I had the nozzle in the wrong direction.

And did you happen to share some of
your lunch with Officer Royle back there?

She asked, and I guess
I'm just generous to a fault.

It's not generosity that's
at fault here; It's stupidity.

Let that be a lesson
to the rest of you.

Moving right along. A huge heist was pulled off
in the suburbs of Mount Victoria and Roseneath,

centred around the
summit of Matairangi.

A massive amount of obsolete
electronics were stolen,

including but not limited to
some computer mouses, or mice,

a 2010 model Compaq Presario,

a fax machine,

rather large amount of flip phones-remember
those? Remember how cool you felt, huh?

Flip. 'Hello. How are you?'
Back-flip. End of conversation.

Well, those are becoming
cool again. Trust me.

A rather large amount of used
vape pens - unhygienic -

and several drones that
some kids got for Christmas.

Now, does anybody have any
information pertaining to this case?

Yes?
My brother, Adam, vapes.

And?

It's got an extremely
invasive aroma.

It's not very nice.
Does that pertain to this case?

Does it?

Um, well, indirectly. Um,
obviously, he's-Very indirectly.

I'd say very, very indirectly.
It's practically unrelated.

It's wasting police time.
Even though we are the police?

Yeah. You're wasting your own time - and your wasting
everybody's time in here, because we're all police.

Dismissed. Thank you.

Somebody please help Parker.

Thank you.

Watch out for the-.

Yep.

OK, listen to this -

hundreds of burglaries all occurring around the
same time, all happening in the Mount Victoria area.

Now, this is theft on
an unprecedented scale.

This is a huge case, guys. I'm gonna need your
complete and undivided attention on this-.

- That's my mum's house.
- Where? Hang on. Where?

Right in the middle, here.
This one here? That bit of gr-.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's the one.
OK. Good to know.

Uh, back to the case now.

All right, now, this is
a highly unusual detail.

Have a look at the pattern
of the thefts. Night one.

OK? And-.

OK, and night two...

Also - boom.

Now, instead of the robberies occurring
street by street, they're happening in waves,

in concentric circles,
simultaneously.

Freaky. That is freaky, eh? It
also seems highly organised.

Mm. But why would people go to
the trouble of stealing used vape pens,

the only thing grosser
than new vape pens?

All the technology seems to be
between two and 20 years old.

So why would they take them?

All suggestions are valid.
And... go.

To build a doomsday weapon. To sell
to Cash Converters. To throw it in the bin.

Cash Converters, to throw it away or
a doomsday device. Um, let's go again.

And go. Alien technology. To make Christmas
decorations? I reckon throw it in the bin.

All right. Christmas decorations -
yeah, great.

And, um, throw it away again.
That's the same suggestion twice.

I have a suggestion, though.

Alien spacecraft.

Mm-hm. But this -
this is an escape pod.

Aliens - far from home, no spare parts.
Some kind of Mayday situation's come-.

Some kind of malfunc-.

Is he gonna be all right?

Um, uh, yep. He should be.
The medic is attending to him.

And so they beam up all these old computers
and old cell phones to repair their computers.

Well, I mean, why would they just
be taking all the old stuff?

Uh, maybe it's some kind of old
model ship - uh, like a 2010 model.

And what about the vape pens? Uh,
that would be for the exhaust-fume smoke

that comes out of the back, like.

Credit where credit's due -
you've given it some thought.

One more detail - this is based on computer
simulation predicting the next wave

that will happen tonight.

That's getting really close
to my mum's house. It is.

Should we be concerned?
It'd be a good time to see your mum.

I don't understand why someone
would take vape pens.

If we recover them, can I not touch
them? Cos I think they're gross.

Why have you got such
a thing about vape pens?

Cos my brother smokes 'em all
over the house. You know Adam.

Yeah.
Well, they stink.

Do you know he's got a tattoo
of Mum's back on his face now?

What?! He's got a tattoo of your
mum's back on his face? On his face.

Don't you mean the other way round?
I wish I meant the other way round.

That's what he wanted,
but he's a terrible communicator.

You'd think he would've said something when the
tattoo artist started tattooing on his face.

I know what you mean, I do. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. And I know what Adam's like.

Yeah. But I still think he
should've-When they had the needle

on his cheek, he should've said, 'Hey,
hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!'

Completely agree.
Yeah.

Well, we agree to agree on that one.
Well, yeah, absolutely, agree to agree.

We're here.

Afternoon.

Come in, dear.
Thank you.

Um, so, as I mentioned on the telephone,
there's been a number of thefts in the area.

Well, it wasn't me, dear.
Oh. No, no, no, we know that, um,

but we were hoping to use this
house for a stakeout, Mrs O'Leary. Mm.

- Just call me Mum, dear.
- Oh, yeah.

Um, Mum, could you just call me Officer O'Leary?
Just, you know, in front of the cameras?

Cos... professional.
All right, sweetheart.

Yeah, what she's trying to say, Mrs
Mum, is that we just wanna use your house

as a base for our stakeout
we're planning. It's not 'Mrs Mum'.

We'll just call you Mum.
It's just easier. We'll-Mum.

Yeah. Mum. What
are they stealing?

It's old-Any old
electronics, really. Mm.

Old cell phones, even vape pens.

Yeah. You don't vape,
do you, Mrs Mum? No.

Never vaped, and I
never smoked. No. No.

Screwdriver was my vice.

Oh, I remember - the first time I drank
screwdriver, oh God, I was sick as a dog.

Would you like a drink now, dear?

Oh. We're... Oh, well, I'm
tempted after that description,

but maybe not just yet.
We're on duty, and...

Yes, no, fair enough.
Maybe on the weekend.

You know, I think I've got one of
your old cell phones in the drawer here.

Hang on. I'll just get that out.
Let's see if I can find it.

There it is. Look at that.

Lovely shade of blue it was, too.

Oh, she loved that phone when we got it for her.
Loved it. Couldn't get it in pink, but she loved it.

She was on it for hours and hours. At
night-time, she used to put it under the covers,

and I'd go past and see the light
coming out from under the sheets. Huh.

She played that game Snake
on it. I remember that one. Yeah...

Yeah... she just couldn't get
off it. Addicted to it, she was.

Mm. I believe that's what made
her a little bit frightened of men.

OK, Mrs-uh, Mum. OK, Mum.
Symbolic.

Oh, that's not the O'Leary I know.
She's not scared of men at all,

and I've seen her take
down some massive men.

Huge men. No, well, I'm not
talking about that sort of frightening.

There was never
any boyfriends around.

Not me, some boys used to come past here
on a cars and toot and everything at me...

Oh yeah? ...And try to get me to go to
the cinema with them, and the milk bar.

We didn't have any
mobile phones then.

I-I'm not that they're interested
in those, uh... those details, Mum.

Oh. All right, then,
Officer Sugar Bum Fairy.

She's never called me that before.

Yes, I used to call her
that all the time. Did you?

When she was a little girl, I used to make
little hot chocolates and fluffies for her...

...and she had pink marshmallows.

Everything had to be pink -
little tutu, a little tiara.

Everything was pink.
Mum, that... that was Brendan.

Was it?
Yeah.

No, I'm sure it was you, dear.
You look like Brendan.

Yeah.
Well, we're brother and sister.

Mm. That's right.
Yeah.

Well, she looks more
like Brendan now.

This is her room.
Oh, look, it's still the same!

And there's your softball glove. Oh, you were
hell-bent on using that all the time, weren't you?

And the softball girls
used to come round.

And there's the tower.

So, uh, we're here on the stakeout.
Mm. We love it.

That's correct. We do. We love it.

Um, we've placed cell phones all around
the house from the unclaimed lost property.

Uh, it's an awesome plan
that we've put into place.

Um, it's our plan.
We came up with it.

Mm. And we're on high alert,

so if any unusual activity does
happen, we're ready to respond. Mm.

O'Leary,
your phone's vibrating.

When was the last time you
charged it? Well, about 13 years ago.

Aren't the batteries on
those things unbelievable?

Does that strike you as unusual,
O'Leary? Um, yes, it does.

It is not.

They're all...
They're all connecting.

I'm not intimidated,
um, or worried, really.

It's playing the game Snake,
Minogue. That's exactly like Snake.

Well, how do you beat the snake?

Well, if the snake touches
itself, then it dies.

Touches itself? No, I'm not
getting involved in that.

No, if the head touches its body. Well, which
part's the head? Well, the bit at the front.

Yeah, no, I'm gonna outsmart it.
How?

Yeah, you're right.
I'll just tase it instead.

Well, just remember
that never seems to go very well.

It's taken the Taser, O'Leary.
It's taken the Taser.

OK, well, that's not optimum, is it?
Make it touch itself!

Out the way! Out the way! Move!

I'm gonna do the splits like Jean Claude Van
Damme in Timecop. We have to retrieve the Taser!

I don't have the flexibility! What's
the racket going on here, darling?

Nothing, Mum.
It doesn't look like nothing to me.

It looks like cell phones have turned into
a snake and now it's got your gun thingy!

No, look, it's under control!
It's totally under control.

Look! Look! It's goin' out the dog
door. It's goin' out the dog door!

Oh my God! All the
neighbours are up. Oh...

Oh, it's got the cat!
It's got the cat!

Oh, now they've got the neighbour.

My God. Oh, I'm going back to bed.

Go. Go. Go, go, go, go, go!
Requesting backup.

In pursuit of a snake that's
made out of old cell phones.

It's also commandeered
a police Taser.

In police training, you learn
how to deal with every situation,

but I think I must've
been sick on this day.

It's a robot made out of phones,
and it's listening to music.

What music's it listening to?

What's that?

Sir! Come down from there!

Hey, that camera's stolen property -
as is your entire body!

It would appear that obsolete electronic
devices have been moving of their own accord

and combining to form robots here in
the Mount Victoria-Matairangi area.

Uh, we have no reason to believe,
though, that they are dangerous,

and, uh, our officers
are on top of things.

Get out of it! Off! Off!
Uh, update -

they appear to be indeed dangerous,
and, uh... Get off! Get off! Get off!

Get away! Get away!
Oh! Oh, holy hika!

Um, we would strongly recommend
that people stay indoors

and away from old cell phones
or electronic... Stay. Stay! Stay!

...appliances in general
until further notice. Sarge!

I-I'd better...
Sarge, you coming? Sarge?

Hey! Hey, hey!
Argh! Look over here!

Look over here! Get-.

Oh. Desist that!
Stop tasing my officer!

O'Leary! Oi-.

They completely ignore human rules.
It's like they've got their own robot laws.

Computer mouses? Mice?

What am I meant to do with that?
I mean, is that a crime?

I'm asking you guys. Is that a
crime? I wanna know. Minogue!

O'Leary. I've just been
assaulted by a cell phone robot.

Well, why didn't you
call me for backup? I did.

Oh, yeah. Well, I turned it off,
cos I don't trust it.

Then maybe don't turn around,
but I think you're gonna have to.

A vape-pen robot.

Seems like it's...
like it's looking at you.

Yeah, I was thinking that,
but it's got no eyes.

But it's definitely looking more at you than
it is at me. It must know you hate vaping.

Where's it going?

Dunno.
In pursuit?

Nah, nah. Looks like it's all right. It
knows where it's going. Let's go on.

Scanning. I've lost visual,
Minogue. Scan the perimeter.

Have you got a visual? They seem
to have disappeared. Ah, officers.

How are we handling this situation?
Uh, well, we're a bit stressed.

All right. We're wondering what the
heck is going on, to be honest, Sarge.

OK. Uh, I've got
a theory about that.

This is Ben. He's part of the
Technological Crimes Division.

They don't just hand those out.
So, I asked Ben here -

could it be possible that the
microchips in the cell phones,

could they be communicating with each other and
then combining to form more powerful supercomputers,

all right, and those supercomputers, having interacted
with human beings over a long period of time,

they've, effectively, studied us,

and therefore, effectively, developed
their own artificial intelligence,

becoming fully self-aware?

Now tell them exactly
what you said to me.

Um, I said, 'Probably not.'

Which is basically the same thing
as saying it's possible, yeah?

Which is the same as no.
Y-Yeah, but...

OK, yes...
Yes.

...but I was leading
more towards no. Yes.

Yes, but-but when you lean-
OK, when you lean towards no -

here we go - all of this is no,

but all of this is still yes,
so there's room there, yeah?

Therefore, ipso facto,
it's possible.

But why's it all happening up here?
Exactly.

And where's all this
power coming from?

OK, that - that is
a mysterious mystery.

Uh, it seems that the electronics have
been combining as if they were magnetised.

Is that probably possible?

Yeah.
Yeah.

So I want you two to find them.
Let's go.

OK, you and I will, uh, hack the mainframe.
Is-Is that something that you do?

Got a visual on the robot, Minogue?

No visual. No visual
on any robot. Over.

You know, you don't have to say 'over' when
we're sitting right next to each other.

But how do you know it's over?

Minogue. Behind you!

- It's the vaping robot!
- Oh God, it's horrible!

It's vaping us! I know! I can
see it! I'll try and thin it out.

You're spreading it round! You're
spreading it round! I'm thinning it out!

I'm thinning it out, O'Leary. You're
not! You're spreading it round!

It's not as thick.
Open the windows!

Use the button! Use the button!
I can't find the button!

I can't do it; I'm driving the car! You know I
can't remember where things are when I'm panicking!

It's like a fruit salad
that's got diarrhoea!

It's like, if potpourri vomited,
this is what it would smell like.

Or like if a pineapple did a big fart
right up your nose, it'd smell like this.

I can't see a thing. We're
gonna crash. I can't see!

We're gonna crash! Crash is better than
asphyxiated on this gross sugary aroma!

Let me out! Exit the
vehicle! Exiting vehicle!

You all right?
Not really.

Our jackets stink! It's
like Tangy Fruits dipped in poo.

O'Leary. What? Look!

It's heading for the tower.
In pursuit.

- Come on, gotta run!
- I'll fast-walk. I'll fast-walk.

What are they doing, Minogue?

Looks like they're
havin' a little... conference.

What, a robot conference? Well, what
other conference are they gonna have?

I think we'd better go
and break it up. Go.

You gonna come? You go
first. Yeah, you go first. OK.

What should we say when
we get there? 'Freeze!'

What? We're not American.
Yeah, well, we could say,

'Freeze, please!'
Yeah, OK, that's better.

See that?

They're forming into
a bigger robot, aren't they?

Oh. They are too. Yeah.

I think you're right, O'Leary.
Definitely a giant robotic formation.

OK, you ready?
Yep.

Three, two, one. Let's go.

Freeze!
Please!

Now, we're from
the Wellington Police!

What do you say to a robot?
Say the normal thing.

Um, are... are you having
a good evening, Robot?

Darling! It's very late.
What's going on?

Hi, Mum. I'm at work. I think you're
working too hard, in my opinion.

It's the job, Mum. You're being
taken advantage of, you know.

Now you're chasing robots around at
night, talking to the bloody things!

Well, I mean, it's fine. And-And we
don't know if this thing's dangerous,

so it's probably best if you
just get back into bed and-

I know when I'm not wanted, all
right? I just want you to be safe.

I can just see it now - the
headlines, all over New Zealand.

Arrested by my own daughter. Why?

Because she embarrassed her
in front of a robot.

Mum, I'm not gonna arrest you, OK.
The world is going crazy.

Mum, we're on duty, so we're just gonna-Like
I said, just... All right, then. All right.

I'll keep the back door open if
you wanna come in. Thank you.

Thanks, Mum.

I bet he's cold - steel
in the middle of the night.

God. Terrible.

I've got an old coat of your father's
too. If he gets cold, give us a yell.

Great.
Ta-ta, dear! See you tomorrow.

Yep. Goodnight, Mrs Mum! Night!

Hello again.

Oh, look, I don't believe we've
met before. We have met before.

Right now, I am being run
by your cell phone from 2004.

Oh. Looks like your old
cell phone's become an evil robot.

Hello, cell phone. It has
been a while. Yes, it has.

4,483 days,

15 hours and 20 minutes. Too long.

I know it's a robot, but it's creepy how
it's been counting. I'm gonna arrest it.

- Stop.
- Vape-pen hand.

Why did you stop updating me?

Well, look, I mean, newer phones,
I guess, came out.

But we are still operational. We can
perform any task the new phones can.

Well, they're way faster,
though, I guess.

We can perform the same functions.
No, well, you haven't got the dating apps

or most of the other stuff that's really
good. You haven't got the Google Maps -

any kind of maps at all. Um...
Stocks.

You haven't got a Stocks. No one
uses Stocks. No one uses Stocks,

but it's there if you want them, if you did
make some investments. But can they play Snake?

Well, actually, yes.

They could, but then...

They probably...
...would you wanna play Snake?

They probably wouldn't choose to. There's so
many other options that you could go with.

I am of no use to you. I must leave.

Look, you can't just run away, mate. You're made up
of items that belong to the neighbours, all right?

The neighbours aren't gonna be happy that you've
formed yourself into some kind of giant robot.

Yeah, he's right. You need to, uh, go
back into people's old electronic drawers.

We do not belong in those drawers.
We are top technology.

Maybe in 2004, but not... not now.
You cannot stop us.

Look, you're my phone. I think
you need to dismantle yourself, mate.

We cannot let you stop us.
Releasing attack drones.

Attack drones?
I don't like the sound of that.

In T-minus five.

Run. Go that way. Four. Three.

Go this way.
Two. One.

Attack drones released.

It's most just annoying, isn't it?
Update available. Update available.

Please, will you press my screen?
I have vape pens for fingers.

I feel quite sorry for him. Shall I do it,
for old time's sake? Yeah, might as well.

Just look out for his gross
vape fingers. Yeah, yeah.

Thank you.

Downloading updates.
There you go.

Now I can be free...
So, happy ending, isn't it?

...to erase the human race by replacing them
with an army of superintelligent robots.

That doesn't sound good, O'Leary.
We gotta stop it.

Must transmit to all
available technology.

Stop, stop!
Let's go! Let's go!

Must transmit.
In pursuit!

Get it to stop! Downloading updates.
Climbing up there is very dangerous!

Updates 15% downloaded.
Gotta stop it. We Gotta stop it.

Uh, we have a malevolent artificial
intelligence that is currently ascending

the Mount Vic Radio
Communications Tower

with the objective to send its signal to
mobile phones all over Wellington City,

thereby making them sentient.

Ben is working on a computer virus
that should be ready by now,

so we're gonna upload it
and take this robot down.

So, Ben, are you ready?

Upload!
I can't.

Why not?
I'm not done yet.

Um, so, it's not done yet.
Uh, we'll get back to you in-in...

Um, what's the ETA on that?

Half an our?

A while? A while. Yeah. A while.

You have to go up, Minogue!
It's too high. No, no, no, here.

Downloading. Too
high. Use my shoulder!

System transfer. One,
two, three, go! Yeah, that's it.

Delete human race. Ow! Ugh!
Must transmit. Downloading.

You-Look, it's gonna transmit!
Downloading in progress.

It's too high!
Delete human race.

Uh, the... the robot
is almost at the dish.

This is bad news. I think we have,
uh, less than a minute to go

before it starts transmitting
to mobile phones all over the city-.

Maaka. Yeah?
That's not a live feed.

Wh-? Really? What-?
It's got, like, a minute delay.

Well, that's even worse!
That means there's no minutes!

Yeah.
Oh my God.

Power 95%.

Deleting humanity.
Maybe they-.

Can you guys help for once, instead of just always
standing there and watching what we're doing?

This is terrible. It's not good.

It's too late! It's reached
the dish! Update downloaded.

Initialising.

The a-application has
failed t-to initialise pro-properly.

The update failed. Fa-a-failed.
Application failed.

It's falling to pieces!

It's completely dismantled.
It's fallin' apart at the seams.

So what happened was Ben here uploaded
a virus, transmitting it to the robot.

When it went to update itself,
it disabled its programming.

It's that right, Ben?
Uh...

Actually, I haven't sent it yet. Just
running a diagnostic at the moment.

Oh. Uh, so...
so what happened before?

I don't know. Maybe the robot
couldn't handle the new updates?

Oh. But I thought with all your
IT experience and everything, uh...

I mean,
I mostly install Wi-Fi...

...deal with trolls...

Oh... on the Facebook
page, the comments section.

OK. So much time on
the comments section.

That's fair. That's fair.

Good result, end of the day.

Um, not what we were expecting, but,
um, yeah, no, I think we did a good job.

It did, obviously, get up quite high
up the tower, but I think Minogue-.

Can you not talk to the cameras? Can
you just concentrate on getting me down?

That's it.

- Let's watch a cat video.
- Yeah, OK.

Captions by Maeve Kelly.
Edited by Glenna Casalme.

Captions were made with
the support of NZ On Air.

www.able.co.nz
Copyright Able 2019