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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:01:15,601 --> 00:01:16,966
Well, all right, Mom.
2
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,700
I guess we've talked about
everyone we care about, heh,
3
00:01:19,734 --> 00:01:22,201
so there's no one left
to talk about.
4
00:01:22,334 --> 00:01:24,667
Al?
5
00:01:25,801 --> 00:01:28,600
Al who?
6
00:01:28,801 --> 00:01:30,600
Oh. Oh, Al.
7
00:01:31,534 --> 00:01:33,900
Well, he's mad because
there's a streetlight out
8
00:01:33,934 --> 00:01:37,099
and there's a pothole right
in front of the driveway.
9
00:01:37,133 --> 00:01:41,266
Yeah, so naturally, I have to be
alert for when he comes home.
10
00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:44,266
Well, when he beeps his horn,
I'm supposed to run out there
11
00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:45,800
and shine this flashlight
12
00:01:45,834 --> 00:01:48,134
so that
he doesn't hit the pothole.
13
00:01:51,033 --> 00:01:54,700
No. I don't mind doin'
those little things for him.
14
00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:00,900
You know, I mean,
he is my husband.
15
00:02:06,033 --> 00:02:07,733
Well, Mom, I better be goin'.
16
00:02:07,767 --> 00:02:09,834
Al will be home any minute.
17
00:02:10,367 --> 00:02:12,434
Okay. Bye.
18
00:02:28,567 --> 00:02:29,934
Hi, honey.
19
00:02:29,968 --> 00:02:32,266
Why'd you bring the steering
wheel into the house?
20
00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:34,934
Well, I figured since it isn't
attached to the car anymore,
21
00:02:34,968 --> 00:02:38,034
I thought maybe you'd like
to cook it up for dinner.
22
00:02:38,334 --> 00:02:39,500
By the way...
23
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:41,600
I beeped, you know.
24
00:02:41,634 --> 00:02:43,700
Liar.
25
00:02:43,734 --> 00:02:45,467
You know,
you always do that,
26
00:02:45,501 --> 00:02:47,800
say you did something
when you really didn't.
27
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,368
And it's not
just sex either.
28
00:02:52,601 --> 00:02:54,033
Peg, when you married me,
29
00:02:54,067 --> 00:02:57,233
was it premeditated
or a drive-by marriage?
30
00:02:57,267 --> 00:02:58,867
What difference
does it make?
31
00:02:58,901 --> 00:03:00,300
I missed.
32
00:03:00,334 --> 00:03:02,333
Well, look, at least,
did you call the city
33
00:03:02,367 --> 00:03:04,433
and tell them about
the pothole and the light?
34
00:03:04,467 --> 00:03:06,633
Al, I told you
I would do that
35
00:03:06,667 --> 00:03:08,667
when I got off the phone
with Mom.
36
00:03:08,701 --> 00:03:10,633
I asked you that
this morning.
37
00:03:10,667 --> 00:03:13,533
Well, I just got off
the phone with her.
38
00:03:14,334 --> 00:03:17,066
Thank you, my little
"air ball at the buzzer."
39
00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:19,500
Thankfully,
I anticipated
40
00:03:19,534 --> 00:03:22,834
your chimpanzee-like
attention to detail,
41
00:03:22,868 --> 00:03:24,633
and I composed
this little letter
42
00:03:24,667 --> 00:03:25,934
to the city.
43
00:03:25,968 --> 00:03:28,999
Well, gee. Where'd you
find time to do that?
44
00:03:29,033 --> 00:03:31,834
Wasn't today "Dusting
the Black Loafers" Day?
45
00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:35,667
Ah, homework.
Can a man have too much fun?
46
00:03:36,167 --> 00:03:37,533
Now, tell me
how this sounds.
47
00:03:37,567 --> 00:03:39,767
See, the key to dealing
with the city is that
48
00:03:39,801 --> 00:03:42,233
you have to subtly influence
their way of thought
49
00:03:42,267 --> 00:03:45,834
by using the most
diplomatic language.
50
00:03:45,868 --> 00:03:49,034
"Dear maggots and
foul bureaucrats...
51
00:03:49,934 --> 00:03:52,001
...I pay taxes."
52
00:03:52,868 --> 00:03:55,567
They'll never check.
53
00:03:55,601 --> 00:03:58,600
"You grafting pigs use my money
to wine and dine cheap bimbos,
54
00:03:58,634 --> 00:04:02,366
"never once thinking to share
them with the rest of us.
55
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,133
"So please fix the hole
in my driveway
56
00:04:04,167 --> 00:04:05,600
"and the streetlight
above it,
57
00:04:05,634 --> 00:04:07,233
"and for
the thousandth time,
58
00:04:07,267 --> 00:04:08,233
"please...
59
00:04:08,267 --> 00:04:11,101
"annul my marriage.
60
00:04:12,667 --> 00:04:15,101
Signed, a voter."
61
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,633
They'll never check.
62
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:31,334
Mom, Dad, I am in love.
63
00:04:34,434 --> 00:04:37,099
He is the greatest guy
that I have ever met.
64
00:04:37,133 --> 00:04:38,300
Oh, right.
65
00:04:38,334 --> 00:04:40,934
That's why
you're home at 9:00.
66
00:04:40,968 --> 00:04:43,633
Well, he likes to get me home
because he is a gentleman.
67
00:04:43,667 --> 00:04:46,900
And he cares about me
because I am a nice girl.
68
00:04:49,434 --> 00:04:51,467
Kelly, it's not that
we don't believe you,
69
00:04:51,501 --> 00:04:54,700
it's just that...
we don't believe in love.
70
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,468
That's why
our marriage works.
71
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:03,201
That's enough
now, Peg.
72
00:05:04,501 --> 00:05:08,267
Oh, but, honey,
maybe love will work for you.
73
00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:11,700
Go ahead,
tell us all about him.
74
00:05:11,734 --> 00:05:14,166
Well, there isn't
really much to tell.
75
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:17,301
A- a-a-ahem, a-a-ahem, a-a-ahem.
76
00:05:19,634 --> 00:05:23,500
Once again my dear sister
is prone to understatement.
77
00:05:23,534 --> 00:05:25,999
But if you want
this reporter's opinion,
78
00:05:26,033 --> 00:05:29,334
I shall now open
the bidding at, uh, $10.
79
00:05:30,601 --> 00:05:33,667
Shut up, Bud.
He's not that old.
80
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:41,133
Okay.
Spill your guts.
81
00:05:41,167 --> 00:05:43,334
He's 41.
82
00:05:46,467 --> 00:05:50,600
You are dating a man
old enough to be my father?
83
00:05:52,901 --> 00:05:55,567
Peg, she's not
dating Lincoln.
84
00:05:57,567 --> 00:06:00,600
Now, pumpkin, sit over
here next to Daddy.
85
00:06:01,267 --> 00:06:05,167
Honey, just how much
have you loved this man?
86
00:06:05,934 --> 00:06:09,099
Daddy, you know I'm not
that kind of girl.
87
00:06:09,133 --> 00:06:11,434
A- a-a-ahem--
88
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,700
Ahem...
89
00:06:15,267 --> 00:06:17,066
Now, don't get
the wrong idea.
90
00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:18,500
He's not like you.
91
00:06:18,534 --> 00:06:21,433
He's a young 41.
92
00:06:21,467 --> 00:06:23,233
I mean, he can still
get out of a chair
93
00:06:23,267 --> 00:06:27,167
without going,
"Ugh, agh, ugh."
94
00:06:27,734 --> 00:06:30,467
And he's
really sweet.
95
00:06:30,501 --> 00:06:32,533
You know
what he calls me?
96
00:06:32,567 --> 00:06:34,633
His "little
squeeze toy."
97
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:44,366
Gee, I'd love
to meet him.
98
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,500
You'll be nice to him,
won't you, Daddy?
99
00:06:46,534 --> 00:06:47,767
Uh, don't worry, pumpkin,
100
00:06:47,801 --> 00:06:49,633
I'll show him
the same kind of respect
101
00:06:49,667 --> 00:06:52,066
that any father would
show a 41-year-old man
102
00:06:52,100 --> 00:06:55,133
who dates
his teenage daughter.
103
00:06:55,167 --> 00:06:57,533
Daddy,
you're the best.
104
00:06:59,467 --> 00:07:02,133
Now, look, I've been on hold
for three hours,
105
00:07:02,167 --> 00:07:05,468
listening to the Muzak version
of "Muskrat Love."
106
00:07:07,801 --> 00:07:10,233
Now, I voted for Mayor...
107
00:07:10,267 --> 00:07:12,934
McCheese
or whatever his name is...
108
00:07:13,868 --> 00:07:15,900
...and I will wait no longer.
109
00:07:15,934 --> 00:07:18,533
Now, I have a streetlight out
and a pothole.
110
00:07:18,567 --> 00:07:20,567
I want you to put down
your nail polish
111
00:07:20,601 --> 00:07:24,301
and sashay
your fat bureaucratic behind...
112
00:07:27,234 --> 00:07:29,767
That's right,
your fat bureaucratic behind
113
00:07:29,801 --> 00:07:30,999
into His Honor's office
114
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:33,066
and you tell him
that Al Bundy is on the--
115
00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:35,267
Hello?
116
00:07:40,367 --> 00:07:42,233
Hello, operator?
This is Al Bundy.
117
00:07:42,267 --> 00:07:43,266
I would--
118
00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:45,267
Hello?!
119
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:49,966
Am I truly nothing?
120
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,067
Could the neighborhood children
be right?
121
00:07:54,567 --> 00:07:56,066
Gee, what's
the matter, honey?
122
00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:57,667
Well, I called
the mayor's office,
123
00:07:57,701 --> 00:07:59,366
and as soon as I told them
I was Al Bundy--
124
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,201
Where's the TV Guide?
125
00:08:03,667 --> 00:08:05,300
Oh, honey,
126
00:08:05,334 --> 00:08:07,400
that's probably Kelly
with her new boyfriend.
127
00:08:07,434 --> 00:08:10,633
Come on. Take care of him fast,
like you do me.
128
00:08:15,934 --> 00:08:18,300
Mom, Dad?
This is Harry.
129
00:08:18,334 --> 00:08:20,001
Kill him, honey.
130
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,166
I didn't know
Kelly had a sister.
131
00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,368
Oh. Wait a second.
132
00:08:26,634 --> 00:08:28,334
Towel off, Peg.
133
00:08:28,601 --> 00:08:30,966
Hi, Harry. Uh...
134
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,400
Would you
lift your chin up
135
00:08:32,434 --> 00:08:34,667
and move it slightly
to the right, please?
136
00:08:34,701 --> 00:08:37,166
You know, you got quite
a pothole in front, Al.
137
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,300
Yeah, I know. It's just
about to be filled.
138
00:08:39,334 --> 00:08:42,067
Why don't you let me
take care of it for ya?
139
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:47,366
This is Harry Ashland.
140
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:48,567
Look, there's a pothole
141
00:08:48,601 --> 00:08:51,200
in front of 9764 Jeopardy Lane.
142
00:08:51,234 --> 00:08:53,633
I want it fixed right away.
143
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:56,266
Consider it taken care of.
144
00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:58,767
Yeah, right.
145
00:08:58,801 --> 00:09:00,834
I been callin',
I been writin' letters.
146
00:09:00,868 --> 00:09:03,434
There's no way in the world
the city's gonna be--
147
00:09:08,334 --> 00:09:09,900
Hey, look,
everybody.
148
00:09:09,934 --> 00:09:12,567
It's the city.
They're workin'.
149
00:09:12,601 --> 00:09:14,400
Peg, they're fixin'
my pothole.
150
00:09:14,434 --> 00:09:16,233
They must've got
one of my letters!
151
00:09:16,267 --> 00:09:18,401
I knew I could do it!
152
00:09:18,467 --> 00:09:20,667
Have a banana, Al.
153
00:09:21,534 --> 00:09:22,999
How'd you do that?
154
00:09:23,033 --> 00:09:24,266
I'm an alderman.
155
00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:26,500
That's a priest.
156
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:31,500
No, actually, it's like
a city councilman.
157
00:09:31,534 --> 00:09:35,234
Well, then, why did you want me
to call you "Father"?
158
00:09:40,567 --> 00:09:43,201
Never mind that now.
159
00:09:43,801 --> 00:09:45,966
Wait a second.
I recognize this guy.
160
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,166
Hey, you're the guy
161
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,366
everyone says is gonna be
the future mayor.
162
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,300
Well...
Uh, gee, Al...
163
00:09:51,334 --> 00:09:53,200
don't ya think it might be
against the law
164
00:09:53,234 --> 00:09:55,934
to go beatin' up somebody--
Shut up, Peg.
165
00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:58,999
Harry...
166
00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:00,300
I got a streetlight out.
167
00:10:00,334 --> 00:10:01,867
I'd hate to bother you
with it now,
168
00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:03,600
but what the heck,
we're almost family.
169
00:10:03,634 --> 00:10:04,600
Here, sit down.
170
00:10:04,634 --> 00:10:06,700
Peg, our finest
glass of Kool-Aid
171
00:10:06,734 --> 00:10:08,800
for the future mayor here.
172
00:10:08,834 --> 00:10:11,567
Al, can I see you
for a second?
173
00:10:11,601 --> 00:10:13,200
I'll be right back.
Um...
174
00:10:13,234 --> 00:10:16,267
Play with
our daughter.
175
00:10:16,868 --> 00:10:18,266
Kelly!
176
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:20,368
Dance for the man.
177
00:10:20,801 --> 00:10:22,767
What? What?
178
00:10:22,801 --> 00:10:24,099
You know,
I cannot believe
179
00:10:24,133 --> 00:10:26,667
that you would put a pothole
before your daughter.
180
00:10:26,701 --> 00:10:28,966
Peg, we can always
have another daughter.
181
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,400
But as we both know,
182
00:10:30,434 --> 00:10:32,934
this is the car I'm gonna have
for the rest of my life.
183
00:10:32,968 --> 00:10:34,300
I must protect it.
184
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,400
Besides, this guy's
gonna be mayor.
185
00:10:36,434 --> 00:10:38,266
And if Kelly gets
in good with him,
186
00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:42,200
who knows, maybe someday I'll
be the future mayor-in-law. Huh?
187
00:10:42,234 --> 00:10:43,767
Think about it,
anything I want.
188
00:10:43,801 --> 00:10:46,033
Huh, Peg? Free doughnuts,
free parking.
189
00:10:46,067 --> 00:10:48,134
Just like the police!
190
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,099
Well, we could speed
and make U-turns.
191
00:10:53,133 --> 00:10:54,233
And litter.
192
00:10:54,267 --> 00:10:55,934
And park
in the handicapped zone!
193
00:10:55,968 --> 00:10:57,767
Oh, Al.
194
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,033
Mom, Dad,
what do you think?
195
00:11:00,067 --> 00:11:01,133
Isn't he great?
196
00:11:01,167 --> 00:11:02,733
We're gonna
go out now, okay?
197
00:11:02,767 --> 00:11:05,333
Not dressed like that
you're not.
198
00:11:05,367 --> 00:11:06,867
Just a second.
199
00:11:11,234 --> 00:11:13,300
There you go.
200
00:11:13,334 --> 00:11:15,067
That's better.
201
00:11:20,701 --> 00:11:23,600
Thank your husband
for getting our sewer fixed.
202
00:11:23,634 --> 00:11:25,733
It is a pleasure
to serve our neighbors.
203
00:11:25,767 --> 00:11:27,266
Oh...
204
00:11:27,300 --> 00:11:29,834
Ahhh...
205
00:11:34,734 --> 00:11:36,266
You know...
206
00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:37,667
it's amazing.
207
00:11:37,701 --> 00:11:39,133
The city has
fixed the hole,
208
00:11:39,167 --> 00:11:40,667
fixed
the streetlight,
209
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,333
picked up
our garbage,
210
00:11:42,367 --> 00:11:43,934
planted the grass,
211
00:11:43,968 --> 00:11:45,033
trimmed the hedges
212
00:11:45,067 --> 00:11:47,533
and your daddy's
nose hairs.
213
00:11:48,501 --> 00:11:51,500
And it's incredible
we have Kelly to thank.
214
00:11:51,534 --> 00:11:53,366
You know,
all these years,
215
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:56,266
we thought that you would be
the success in the family.
216
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,867
Boy, was I wrong.
217
00:12:00,501 --> 00:12:02,900
Well, gee, maybe I should
throw on a pair of Speedos
218
00:12:02,934 --> 00:12:05,767
and parade around
in front of Sandra Day O'Connor.
219
00:12:06,167 --> 00:12:07,966
Hey! It might mean a condo
220
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,600
by the White House
for the family.
221
00:12:09,634 --> 00:12:11,066
Would that
make you guys proud?
222
00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:13,999
Oh, we're proud
of you, uh...
223
00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:16,800
uh...
224
00:12:16,834 --> 00:12:18,667
Help me out here.
225
00:12:18,701 --> 00:12:19,934
Bud.
226
00:12:19,968 --> 00:12:21,767
Yeah, whatever.
227
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,166
Here's my little girl.
228
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:30,700
Mom, I'm going out
with Harry.
229
00:12:30,734 --> 00:12:33,300
Uh, not dressed like that
you're not.
230
00:12:33,334 --> 00:12:34,934
Come here.
231
00:12:34,968 --> 00:12:36,934
Let's see.
232
00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:41,034
There.
233
00:12:41,434 --> 00:12:42,400
That's better.
234
00:12:42,434 --> 00:12:43,900
Bye, Mom.
235
00:12:43,934 --> 00:12:45,667
Oh, uh, Bud,
236
00:12:45,701 --> 00:12:47,800
keep gettin'
those good grades.
237
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:50,468
It'll really pay off
in the real world.
238
00:12:53,601 --> 00:12:55,200
Ohhh...
239
00:12:55,234 --> 00:12:56,567
My little girl.
240
00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:58,200
And to think,
because of her,
241
00:12:58,234 --> 00:13:01,500
we may one day be living
in the mayor's mansion.
242
00:13:01,534 --> 00:13:03,200
Come on, he's not
gonna marry Kelly.
243
00:13:03,234 --> 00:13:05,333
There's more to being
the mayor's wife
244
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:08,233
than dancing around
naked on tables.
245
00:13:08,267 --> 00:13:10,200
Now, Bud,
don't be jealous.
246
00:13:10,234 --> 00:13:12,166
You're both
our children.
247
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:16,900
It's just that Kelly's
our favorite now, that's all.
248
00:13:30,701 --> 00:13:33,567
Hi, Peggy. We were wondering
if we could speak with Al.
249
00:13:33,601 --> 00:13:34,999
Well, I don't know.
250
00:13:35,033 --> 00:13:36,300
He's been awfully busy.
251
00:13:36,334 --> 00:13:37,767
Oh, please.
He's done so much
252
00:13:37,801 --> 00:13:39,700
for everyone else
in the neighborhood.
253
00:13:39,734 --> 00:13:41,366
If he could spare us
a little time.
254
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,233
Please,
please, please?
255
00:13:43,267 --> 00:13:46,567
I'll speak to you.
256
00:14:32,467 --> 00:14:35,067
Peg, picture, please.
257
00:14:39,767 --> 00:14:42,166
Oh, Al.
Please help us.
258
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,400
The paperboy
shows us no respect.
259
00:14:44,434 --> 00:14:45,999
Well, we've complained,
260
00:14:46,033 --> 00:14:48,133
but still he throws our paper
in the sprinklers,
261
00:14:48,167 --> 00:14:50,467
crushing the flowers
we planted with care.
262
00:14:50,501 --> 00:14:53,800
He responds to our threats
with the bird.
263
00:14:57,067 --> 00:14:59,533
W- we have nowhere else
to turn, Al.
264
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:04,301
You never come
to me as a friend.
265
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,066
When your wife
baked a pie,
266
00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:08,900
I got no slice.
267
00:15:10,801 --> 00:15:13,734
Now you want a favor.
268
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,533
We were wrong.
269
00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:19,134
We want your friendship.
270
00:15:26,267 --> 00:15:29,533
It is well-known when I get
food, I can deny no favors.
271
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,467
What can I do for you?
272
00:15:33,501 --> 00:15:35,300
We seek no more
than justice.
273
00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:36,800
An eye for an eye.
274
00:15:36,834 --> 00:15:38,700
Kill him.
275
00:15:40,167 --> 00:15:42,033
This does not seem fair
but, rest assured,
276
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:44,700
your paper will be on your porch
in the morning.
277
00:15:45,067 --> 00:15:46,966
But remember...
278
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,467
someday I may ask you
for a favor.
279
00:15:49,501 --> 00:15:52,033
This day may never come,
but...
280
00:15:52,067 --> 00:15:54,101
we both know
it probably will.
281
00:15:56,634 --> 00:15:57,700
When this day does come,
282
00:15:57,734 --> 00:16:00,201
you will respond
in true friendship.
283
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,267
Yes, Al.
284
00:16:11,667 --> 00:16:13,633
Gee, that wasn't humiliating
or anything.
285
00:16:13,667 --> 00:16:15,200
Well, what's
the difference?
286
00:16:15,234 --> 00:16:18,201
That 12-year-old punk
is gonna get what he deserves.
287
00:16:19,234 --> 00:16:22,333
Al, don't you think
you're carrying this thing
288
00:16:22,367 --> 00:16:25,033
a little too far?
289
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,934
Never ask me
about my business, Peg.
290
00:16:31,834 --> 00:16:33,400
But this thing
about the neighbors
291
00:16:33,434 --> 00:16:34,567
bringing over food--
292
00:16:34,601 --> 00:16:37,333
Small potatoes, Peg.
293
00:16:37,367 --> 00:16:39,133
What are you
saying, Al?
294
00:16:39,167 --> 00:16:41,266
I'm saying pass
the small potatoes
295
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:43,468
Mrs. Ricketts
brought me.
296
00:16:46,934 --> 00:16:48,633
I love these things.
297
00:16:48,667 --> 00:16:51,200
Besides, Bundy favors
won't be comin' this cheap
298
00:16:51,234 --> 00:16:52,834
for very long, Peg,
299
00:16:52,868 --> 00:16:55,966
because the city shoe contract
is up for bid,
300
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,266
the meter-maid shoes,
301
00:16:57,300 --> 00:17:01,266
and I, thanks to Kelly,
got the inside track.
302
00:17:01,300 --> 00:17:03,099
Oh, Al.
303
00:17:03,133 --> 00:17:05,900
You didn't come up with an idea
on your own, did you?
304
00:17:05,934 --> 00:17:07,300
I did.
305
00:17:07,334 --> 00:17:10,433
I bought 10,000 pair
of meter-maid shoes.
306
00:17:10,467 --> 00:17:11,467
I talked to Harry.
307
00:17:11,501 --> 00:17:13,733
The contract is
practically mine.
308
00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:17,600
You're looking at the meter-maid
foot king of Chicago, baby.
309
00:17:21,767 --> 00:17:24,134
Excuse me, Mom...
310
00:17:24,834 --> 00:17:27,033
but 10,000
meter-maid shoes?
311
00:17:27,067 --> 00:17:29,600
Kelly dating
a smart politician?
312
00:17:29,634 --> 00:17:32,033
You guys believing
an idea of this man
313
00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:33,600
is gonna pay off?
314
00:17:33,634 --> 00:17:34,999
I mean,
am I the only one who sees
315
00:17:35,033 --> 00:17:37,434
the emperor has holes
in his underwear?
316
00:17:38,801 --> 00:17:41,567
Bud, I know you've seen
a Bundy failure
317
00:17:41,601 --> 00:17:42,834
once or twice before,
318
00:17:42,868 --> 00:17:44,966
but, Bud, this time,
I'm telling you
319
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,333
it can't miss
because, Bud,
320
00:17:46,367 --> 00:17:48,567
this time,
it's not just me.
321
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:51,900
It's me and Kelly.
322
00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:57,934
I'll tell you what we'll do,
323
00:17:57,968 --> 00:17:59,099
let's go shopping
324
00:17:59,133 --> 00:18:00,567
and spend
some of that money
325
00:18:00,601 --> 00:18:02,800
that's gonna come
rollin' in.
326
00:18:03,434 --> 00:18:05,567
Well, before we go,
327
00:18:05,601 --> 00:18:07,966
I guess
what's bothering me
328
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,700
is that no one's including me
in the plans anymore.
329
00:18:10,734 --> 00:18:13,067
I mean,
I'm not Fredo.
330
00:18:14,567 --> 00:18:16,667
Kelly's Fredo.
331
00:18:16,701 --> 00:18:18,401
I'm the smart one.
332
00:18:19,567 --> 00:18:21,166
Lately, you guys
have made me feel
333
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,767
like I'm not part
of the family anymore.
334
00:18:25,033 --> 00:18:26,900
So if you'll just
tell me I'm overreacting
335
00:18:26,934 --> 00:18:29,800
just a little bit--
336
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:33,099
I'll tell you this,
337
00:18:33,133 --> 00:18:36,700
I'm not letting you
take me fishing!
338
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,533
Look at it, Peg.
339
00:18:49,567 --> 00:18:51,533
The Bundy empire.
340
00:18:51,567 --> 00:18:53,166
Tomorrow
we make delivery,
341
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,867
and we pick up
a check for $20,000.
342
00:18:56,901 --> 00:18:59,567
Oh, Al.
343
00:19:00,334 --> 00:19:02,301
What's wrong, Peg?
344
00:19:02,801 --> 00:19:04,099
Nothing.
345
00:19:04,133 --> 00:19:07,567
I think I just had
my first real orgasm.
346
00:19:20,767 --> 00:19:22,900
H- here's your paper,
347
00:19:22,934 --> 00:19:25,233
and thank you for not
costing me my job.
348
00:19:25,267 --> 00:19:27,333
What do I owe you?
349
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:28,600
Oh, nothing, nothing.
350
00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:31,966
I- I paid for your paper
out of my own pocket.
351
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,468
This is good.
352
00:19:35,267 --> 00:19:36,233
Uh...
353
00:19:36,267 --> 00:19:39,468
forgetting something?
354
00:19:47,434 --> 00:19:49,733
A whole buck!
355
00:19:49,767 --> 00:19:51,533
Get used to
living like this, Peg.
356
00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:53,533
I'm tellin' ya,
I was born for this.
357
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:54,567
This is my decade.
358
00:19:54,601 --> 00:19:55,900
This is the Bundy decade.
359
00:19:55,934 --> 00:19:57,266
Aw, Al...
360
00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:58,966
Shhh, quiet, Peg.
I'm ruminating.
361
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,066
I'm literally
drunk with power.
362
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:02,066
Al...
363
00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:04,166
Ah, life is good.
364
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,334
But not for me.
365
00:20:07,434 --> 00:20:08,500
Look, Peg.
366
00:20:08,534 --> 00:20:11,368
More pictures on page three.
367
00:20:16,234 --> 00:20:17,733
Guess what, everybody.
368
00:20:17,767 --> 00:20:21,066
I am on the front page
of the newspaper.
369
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:22,633
How great is that?
370
00:20:22,667 --> 00:20:26,366
There are no words.
371
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,867
Well, you could have
thrown me for a Froot Loop
372
00:20:28,901 --> 00:20:30,700
when I heard
he was married, but...
373
00:20:30,734 --> 00:20:31,934
I guess the signs were there
374
00:20:31,968 --> 00:20:33,733
if you just know
how too recognize 'em.
375
00:20:33,767 --> 00:20:35,233
The wedding ring,
376
00:20:35,267 --> 00:20:39,500
the diapers in the back seat
of the station wagon.
377
00:20:39,534 --> 00:20:41,800
The late-night calls from
that crazy woman going,
378
00:20:41,834 --> 00:20:43,400
"Stay away
from my husband,
379
00:20:43,434 --> 00:20:46,133
you homewrecking
little tramp."
380
00:20:46,167 --> 00:20:47,200
Oh, well.
381
00:20:47,234 --> 00:20:48,467
"Case of rum,
case of rum,"
382
00:20:48,501 --> 00:20:51,401
that's
what I always say.
383
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,133
But you'll be
glad to know
384
00:20:54,167 --> 00:20:57,233
that this time,
I am truly in love.
385
00:20:57,267 --> 00:21:00,468
I want you to meet
my new friend, Salt Water.
386
00:21:03,033 --> 00:21:05,800
Show Daddy
what you can do.
387
00:21:14,267 --> 00:21:17,234
Can I call you "Dad"?
388
00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:19,066
Isn't he great?
389
00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:20,733
And don't worry,
Daddy.
390
00:21:20,767 --> 00:21:23,033
This one is single.
391
00:21:23,067 --> 00:21:24,900
Bye.
392
00:21:33,300 --> 00:21:34,600
Peg...
393
00:21:34,634 --> 00:21:36,366
I spent
everything we got
394
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,266
on this stuff here.
395
00:21:38,300 --> 00:21:40,067
What am I gonna do?
396
00:21:40,601 --> 00:21:41,966
Well...
397
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,200
you could lead
the failure pride parade
398
00:21:45,234 --> 00:21:48,467
atop a float
of meter-maid shoes.
399
00:21:48,501 --> 00:21:49,533
Or...
400
00:21:49,567 --> 00:21:51,700
is that getting
into your business?
401
00:21:51,734 --> 00:21:53,200
White crosses, sunlight,
402
00:21:53,234 --> 00:21:55,734
nothin' works on you
anymore, does it?
403
00:21:56,067 --> 00:21:58,233
But I tell you...
404
00:21:58,267 --> 00:22:00,999
there are other forces
at work here.
405
00:22:01,033 --> 00:22:03,800
Other dark, evil things.
406
00:22:03,968 --> 00:22:05,333
If I had my wish,
407
00:22:05,367 --> 00:22:06,600
it would be
to get my hands
408
00:22:06,634 --> 00:22:09,999
on the foul, loathsome demon
that took those pictures
409
00:22:10,033 --> 00:22:13,600
and caused the downfall
of the Bundy family.
28369
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