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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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00:01:21,667 --> 00:01:23,633
Oh, yeah.
2
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,434
Aw, yeah.
3
00:01:38,667 --> 00:01:41,133
Excuse me, miss.
4
00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:44,767
Is this man
bothering you?
5
00:01:50,934 --> 00:01:54,800
Bud, I warned you
about eating all that cheese.
6
00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:58,600
Where are
the old people?
7
00:01:58,634 --> 00:02:00,233
Oh, uh...
8
00:02:00,267 --> 00:02:04,600
well, Dad's down at, uh...
the store.
9
00:02:05,467 --> 00:02:07,333
They're having that, uh,
midnight sale.
10
00:02:07,367 --> 00:02:09,400
You know, you probably heard it
on the radio.
11
00:02:09,434 --> 00:02:10,900
They keep playing
that old song:
12
00:02:10,934 --> 00:02:13,800
After Midnight We're Gonna Sell
A Lot Of Shoes.
13
00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:16,733
Work's a bummer.
14
00:02:16,767 --> 00:02:19,834
I'm glad I'm a pretty girl,
so I'll never have to.
15
00:02:20,634 --> 00:02:22,567
Oh, that reminds me,
where's Mom?
16
00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:24,166
Oh, uh, she went
to pick him up.
17
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,867
We got a call. Something about
him flipping out.
18
00:02:36,901 --> 00:02:38,333
♪ After midnight ♪
19
00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:41,201
♪ We're gonna sell
A lot of shoes ♪
20
00:02:42,133 --> 00:02:43,133
Hi, Daddy.
21
00:02:43,167 --> 00:02:44,133
Hello, miss.
22
00:02:44,167 --> 00:02:46,700
You wanna buy
a lot of shoes?
23
00:02:46,734 --> 00:02:49,133
Uh, I have shoes,
Daddy.
24
00:02:49,167 --> 00:02:51,500
Uh, he doesn't
recognize you, honey.
25
00:02:51,534 --> 00:02:53,066
Shoes?
26
00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:55,633
Come on, sweetheart.
Sit down over here.
27
00:02:55,667 --> 00:02:57,600
Uh, we're home now,
sweetie.
28
00:02:57,634 --> 00:02:58,966
You remember.
29
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,767
Two kids, a dog,
30
00:03:00,801 --> 00:03:04,667
a room upstairs
where you disappoint your wife.
31
00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:10,600
Well, there's only one way
to snap him out of this.
32
00:03:17,434 --> 00:03:20,301
That's how
I like to see you.
33
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:23,333
Oh, Peg,
it was horrible.
34
00:03:23,367 --> 00:03:26,333
Sixteen straight hours
of shoe-selling mayhem.
35
00:03:26,367 --> 00:03:28,700
Last thing I remember,
I was down on one knee,
36
00:03:28,734 --> 00:03:31,734
waiting on an overflowing
glacier of a woman.
37
00:03:32,934 --> 00:03:34,266
The first thing they teach you
38
00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:35,867
when you're
a rookie shoe salesman
39
00:03:35,901 --> 00:03:39,834
is when you got a fat one
in the chair, never look up.
40
00:03:39,868 --> 00:03:42,700
I looked up, Peg.
41
00:03:42,734 --> 00:03:45,301
I saw underwear.
42
00:03:46,567 --> 00:03:49,934
It said, "Saturday."
43
00:03:51,267 --> 00:03:52,233
So what?
44
00:03:52,267 --> 00:03:55,134
Today's Wednesday!
45
00:03:58,334 --> 00:04:02,233
Anyway, the next thing I knew,
I was insane.
46
00:04:02,267 --> 00:04:06,133
Take a good look
at your future, rat boy.
47
00:04:06,167 --> 00:04:09,033
So, honey, tell us
what the doctor said.
48
00:04:09,067 --> 00:04:11,633
Well, he found
two interesting things.
49
00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:13,500
Well, that's two more
than I've ever found.
50
00:04:13,534 --> 00:04:15,401
I wonder where
was he looking.
51
00:04:18,234 --> 00:04:19,667
I'm just kidding, honey.
52
00:04:19,701 --> 00:04:21,166
We really do care.
53
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,633
So, what did
the doctor say?
54
00:04:23,667 --> 00:04:26,500
Well, he said
from your home cooking,
55
00:04:26,534 --> 00:04:29,467
my stomach
is the size of a quarter,
56
00:04:29,501 --> 00:04:32,266
and that I suffer
from stress.
57
00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:34,233
Stress?
58
00:04:34,267 --> 00:04:36,333
How could you
get stress?
59
00:04:36,367 --> 00:04:38,300
You don't do anything
but get up and go to work.
60
00:04:38,334 --> 00:04:43,900
Well, maybe he got it
from a toilet seat.
61
00:04:44,667 --> 00:04:47,800
It would've shown up
long before this, honey.
62
00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:50,733
Stress?
Al, that is ridiculous.
63
00:04:50,767 --> 00:04:53,934
I mean, how in the world would
someone like you get stress?
64
00:04:54,901 --> 00:04:59,234
Well, the doctor thinks
it might be the wife.
65
00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:02,567
Well, very nice.
66
00:05:02,601 --> 00:05:04,500
So now it's my fault
67
00:05:04,534 --> 00:05:06,066
that you have
a go-nowhere job
68
00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:08,333
and absolutely
no ambition at all.
69
00:05:08,367 --> 00:05:11,500
Why, you know, if it wasn't for
me telling you day after day
70
00:05:11,534 --> 00:05:14,600
to get up, get to work,
and do something for God's sake,
71
00:05:14,634 --> 00:05:16,600
you wouldn't be bringing home
the chump change
72
00:05:16,634 --> 00:05:17,700
that you already are.
73
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:20,600
Stress.
74
00:05:20,634 --> 00:05:23,099
Mom, don't you think that we
should be nice to Daddy,
75
00:05:23,133 --> 00:05:25,433
you know, with him
being out of his, uh...
76
00:05:25,467 --> 00:05:29,101
M- I-N-E-D?
77
00:05:29,901 --> 00:05:32,099
Yes, honey,
you're right.
78
00:05:32,133 --> 00:05:34,300
It is the woman's
lot in life
79
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,266
to always carry the man.
80
00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:39,066
Always the helper,
never the helped.
81
00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:41,500
So, what'd the doctor
say you should do,
82
00:05:41,534 --> 00:05:44,166
you big sissy?
83
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:47,900
Well, he said I should maybe
find myself a relaxing hobby.
84
00:05:47,934 --> 00:05:51,767
You know, uh, start
a vegetable garden.
85
00:05:52,767 --> 00:05:54,099
A vegetable garden?
86
00:05:54,133 --> 00:05:57,468
Well, you started one of those
when you had Kelly.
87
00:06:06,968 --> 00:06:08,900
Hey.
88
00:06:08,934 --> 00:06:12,900
I thought we were supposed to be
making fun of Dad here.
89
00:06:12,934 --> 00:06:14,133
You're right, honey.
90
00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:16,434
A vegetable garden.
91
00:06:17,834 --> 00:06:20,667
Oh, can you see your father
in a vegetable garden?
92
00:06:20,701 --> 00:06:23,733
Hey, I can see myself
in a vegetable garden.
93
00:06:23,767 --> 00:06:26,633
Out in the open air,
working with the land.
94
00:06:26,667 --> 00:06:28,767
You know, growin' stuff
and eatin' it.
95
00:06:28,801 --> 00:06:30,900
Yep, that's what
I'm gonna do.
96
00:06:30,934 --> 00:06:33,133
I'm gonna grow myself
the bestest vegetable garden
97
00:06:33,167 --> 00:06:34,300
in the world.
98
00:06:34,334 --> 00:06:36,700
I'm gonna grow me beans
and tomaters.
99
00:06:36,734 --> 00:06:38,633
Potaters.
100
00:06:38,667 --> 00:06:41,800
Ham...corn...uh...
101
00:06:41,834 --> 00:06:45,401
I'm gonna fish...fish them
little shrimps that I like.
102
00:06:45,767 --> 00:06:48,200
And...bread.
Homegrown bread.
103
00:06:48,234 --> 00:06:49,200
And butter.
104
00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:52,401
And pizza
with extra cheese.
105
00:06:53,133 --> 00:06:56,166
Kids, does anyone else
sense doom around here?
106
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,999
♪ Dum dee-dee, dum dee-dee
Dum dee-dee ♪
107
00:06:59,033 --> 00:07:01,934
♪ Vegetable garden! ♪
108
00:07:03,434 --> 00:07:05,333
I think
we all sense it, Mom.
109
00:07:05,367 --> 00:07:07,433
♪ Dum dee-dee, dum dee-dee
Dum dee-dee ♪
110
00:07:07,467 --> 00:07:09,700
♪ Dum-dum, corn ♪
111
00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:26,434
Kids, soon all this
will be yourn.
112
00:07:29,767 --> 00:07:32,401
Well, golly.
113
00:07:33,901 --> 00:07:37,133
Hey, where'd you learn to farm
and speak like a hick, Daddy?
114
00:07:37,167 --> 00:07:40,900
Well, kids, all you really need
for farmin' is the right tools,
115
00:07:40,934 --> 00:07:42,900
a farmin'
state of mind,
116
00:07:42,934 --> 00:07:47,067
and your very own copy
of Farmer Iggy's Almanac.
117
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:50,800
Let's see what the Igster
has to say this morning.
118
00:07:50,834 --> 00:07:55,034
"Plant in the mornin',
vegetables a-bornin'."
119
00:07:59,734 --> 00:08:01,266
Thanks a lot, Mom.
120
00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:03,967
Keen choice o' dads.
121
00:08:04,834 --> 00:08:06,033
Look, Peg.
122
00:08:06,067 --> 00:08:09,633
The corn is as high
as an elephant's eye.
123
00:08:09,667 --> 00:08:12,733
Oh, honey, I couldn't
be prouder of you
124
00:08:12,767 --> 00:08:14,934
if you thought
you were Napoleon.
125
00:08:14,968 --> 00:08:18,033
Come, look at my beans, Peg.
126
00:08:18,067 --> 00:08:21,967
Been a long time since you seen
a bean that size, eh, babe?
127
00:08:23,167 --> 00:08:25,500
Yeah, you sure know
how to grow 'em, honey.
128
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:28,999
Soon we will have
a bountiful harvest,
129
00:08:29,033 --> 00:08:32,233
and you'll be cookin',
a- cannin' and a-servin'.
130
00:08:32,267 --> 00:08:35,434
And I'll be eatin',
a- belchin' and a-purgin'.
131
00:08:36,534 --> 00:08:38,567
Yep, it's been a long time
132
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:42,633
since we've been
this happy, eh, babe?
133
00:08:42,667 --> 00:08:45,800
Want a cheek
of Redman?
134
00:08:47,300 --> 00:08:49,467
You're still not well,
are you?
135
00:08:49,501 --> 00:08:52,200
Not by a long shot.
136
00:08:52,234 --> 00:08:53,700
But I'm happy.
137
00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:56,300
Now get thee
in the house, woman.
138
00:08:56,334 --> 00:08:57,867
As farmer Iggy says,
139
00:08:57,901 --> 00:09:01,967
"Wife standin' near,
soon comes a tear."
140
00:09:07,934 --> 00:09:10,099
Well, I thought
she'd never leave.
141
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:13,333
Now it's just you and me,
hey, guys?
142
00:09:13,367 --> 00:09:16,133
♪ Old McBundy had a farm ♪
143
00:09:16,167 --> 00:09:17,867
♪ B-U-N-D-Y ♪
144
00:09:17,901 --> 00:09:20,366
♪ And on this farm
There was no wife ♪
145
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:21,867
♪ B-U-N-D-Y ♪
146
00:09:21,901 --> 00:09:23,834
♪ With a no wife here
And a no kids there ♪
147
00:09:23,868 --> 00:09:27,134
♪ A hooker comin' over
On Friday nights ♪
148
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:32,567
♪ Big luscious hooters
And a pizza and a beer there ♪
149
00:09:32,601 --> 00:09:35,366
♪ Old McBundy had a farm ♪
150
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:38,800
♪ B-U-N-D-Y ♪
151
00:09:46,734 --> 00:09:49,700
I never felt so relaxed.
152
00:09:58,267 --> 00:09:59,233
Hey.
153
00:09:59,267 --> 00:10:01,633
Rabbit, give me back
my carrots!
154
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:03,667
Ow!
155
00:10:03,701 --> 00:10:05,166
Bite me, will you?
156
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:06,767
Well, listen to this,
buddy.
157
00:10:06,801 --> 00:10:10,334
No one bites Al Bundy
and lives.
158
00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:15,967
Kiss your bonnie,
bunny butt goodbye, rabbit...
159
00:10:16,434 --> 00:10:19,001
'cause you're one dead--
160
00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:25,001
Peg, he peed on me!
161
00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:36,867
Hey, Kel, did you hear
about Billy's dad?
162
00:10:36,901 --> 00:10:40,800
He just made
vice president of his company.
163
00:10:40,834 --> 00:10:43,700
Hey, Bud, did you know
that Holly's dad,
164
00:10:43,734 --> 00:10:45,667
after many long years
of work,
165
00:10:45,701 --> 00:10:48,467
started his own company?
166
00:10:48,501 --> 00:10:51,834
Well, this must be the year
of the successful dad, ha.
167
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:54,234
Let's see how yours
is doing.
168
00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:58,700
Let's see if you can swim
as well as you can steal,
169
00:10:58,734 --> 00:11:01,500
you bucktoothed
bandit.
170
00:11:02,634 --> 00:11:05,867
Is he not successful too,
who foams from the mouth
171
00:11:05,901 --> 00:11:08,500
and lies sputtering
on the ground?
172
00:11:08,534 --> 00:11:10,166
Gardening has calmed me down,
173
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,201
and you just can't stand it,
can ya?
174
00:11:13,701 --> 00:11:15,033
Well, you'll be cheering me
175
00:11:15,067 --> 00:11:17,700
when this bunny
comes floating belly-up.
176
00:11:18,567 --> 00:11:20,767
Yeah, you'll be
a real hero, Dad.
177
00:11:20,801 --> 00:11:22,500
We can hear 'em
singing now:
178
00:11:22,534 --> 00:11:26,067
"Killed him a bunny
when he was 43."
179
00:11:26,767 --> 00:11:29,266
No rabbit's foot for you,
young lady.
180
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:31,633
Dad, you've had the hose on
for four hours now,
181
00:11:31,667 --> 00:11:33,166
and the ground
isn't even wet.
182
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:34,633
Where's all that
water going?
183
00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:36,500
How the hell should I know
where it's going?
184
00:11:36,534 --> 00:11:38,200
I don't even know where
it's coming from
185
00:11:38,234 --> 00:11:40,368
when it comes out
of the hose.
186
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,433
I just-- I just wish
I could go with it.
187
00:11:43,467 --> 00:11:46,934
Shh! I hear
some squishing sounds.
188
00:11:54,934 --> 00:11:56,533
Oh!
189
00:11:56,567 --> 00:11:58,800
What did you do?
190
00:11:58,834 --> 00:12:02,166
Gee, Marcie,
what happened to you?
191
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:03,567
What happened to me?
192
00:12:03,601 --> 00:12:05,400
I finally got a date.
193
00:12:05,434 --> 00:12:08,700
A successful man.
A handsome man.
194
00:12:08,734 --> 00:12:11,767
Sure, he was married,
but he was gonna leave her.
195
00:12:11,801 --> 00:12:13,333
He told me so.
196
00:12:13,367 --> 00:12:15,633
He told me his wife
didn't understand him.
197
00:12:15,667 --> 00:12:17,233
Like, what's so hard to
understand
198
00:12:17,267 --> 00:12:18,333
about
a 40-year-old man
199
00:12:18,367 --> 00:12:21,967
who likes to be
spanked for his sins?
200
00:12:22,667 --> 00:12:24,934
Anyway, we get back
to my house,
201
00:12:24,968 --> 00:12:28,700
I open the door, and step into
my living-room pond.
202
00:12:29,501 --> 00:12:32,366
It seems that some idiot
stuck a hose in the ground
203
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,467
and left the water on
all day.
204
00:12:34,501 --> 00:12:35,667
So I was wondering,
205
00:12:35,701 --> 00:12:38,267
have you seen an idiot
with a hose anywhere?
206
00:12:38,934 --> 00:12:40,667
Hey, Marcie, you've given me
a good idea.
207
00:12:40,701 --> 00:12:42,400
Bring your head
over here by the hole.
208
00:12:42,434 --> 00:12:45,167
He'll think it's a cabbage,
and then we'll have him.
209
00:12:51,167 --> 00:12:54,667
Look, Al, we all appreciate
the fact that you're insane
210
00:12:54,701 --> 00:12:56,900
and that you need
a relaxing hobby,
211
00:12:56,934 --> 00:12:59,800
but maybe this gardening thing
is just a little too challenging
212
00:12:59,834 --> 00:13:01,500
at this point in your life.
213
00:13:01,534 --> 00:13:05,700
Have you tried Silly Putty
on the comics page?
214
00:13:05,734 --> 00:13:09,300
He has. He just couldn't get
the egg open.
215
00:13:09,334 --> 00:13:11,500
Oh. Well.
216
00:13:11,534 --> 00:13:13,934
I will be sending you
a bill for the damage.
217
00:13:13,968 --> 00:13:15,300
And if you do not pay,
218
00:13:15,334 --> 00:13:18,099
I will sue you
for everything you've got,
219
00:13:18,133 --> 00:13:23,001
and that includes
my garbage cans.
220
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:28,167
Great. That leaves us
with nothing in the will.
221
00:13:30,267 --> 00:13:32,333
Well, I guess
we're just gonna have to make it
222
00:13:32,367 --> 00:13:34,533
on our good looks.
223
00:13:34,567 --> 00:13:37,201
See you on skid row,
bacon face.
224
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:42,533
We're all
getting cranky, Al.
225
00:13:42,567 --> 00:13:44,433
Did you get
that rabbit yet?
226
00:13:44,467 --> 00:13:45,834
Are you kiddin' me?
227
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:48,567
I must have poured a million
gallons of water down that hole.
228
00:13:48,601 --> 00:13:50,999
I flooded the whole block
and every living thing in it.
229
00:13:51,033 --> 00:13:53,099
Now, if that rabbit's
still alive,
230
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:56,034
I'm yours tonight.
231
00:14:04,033 --> 00:14:06,166
You know,
the sad part is, I--
232
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:08,934
I don't
really want him. Hm.
233
00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:13,167
But a promise
is a promise.
234
00:14:13,901 --> 00:14:16,133
Now look
what you've done!
235
00:14:16,167 --> 00:14:18,633
You'll be screaming
worse than me, I'm telling you!
236
00:14:18,667 --> 00:14:20,567
I'll get you for this!
237
00:14:20,601 --> 00:14:23,434
I'll make you pay for this,
I'm telling you...!
238
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,200
Okay, I'm all through
with the poison now.
239
00:14:42,234 --> 00:14:43,700
You can take off
your masks.
240
00:14:43,734 --> 00:14:47,267
Um, not you, Peg.
Uh, yours wasn't working anyway.
241
00:14:49,868 --> 00:14:53,967
Bud, Dad said that you could
take your mask off.
242
00:14:56,467 --> 00:14:57,700
Eat Dad's okra.
243
00:14:57,734 --> 00:14:59,667
Lick his onions.
244
00:14:59,701 --> 00:15:01,533
Kids!
245
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:06,001
Kids, let's not forget
that Daddy is the enemy here.
246
00:15:09,133 --> 00:15:11,233
There, now,
that's better.
247
00:15:11,267 --> 00:15:13,200
Honey,
do you think it's wise
248
00:15:13,234 --> 00:15:16,333
to indiscriminately spray
poison on a windy day?
249
00:15:16,367 --> 00:15:18,200
Peg, if you wanna make
a rabbit omelet,
250
00:15:18,234 --> 00:15:20,467
sometimes you gotta
break some eggs.
251
00:15:20,501 --> 00:15:21,700
But don't worry about it.
252
00:15:21,734 --> 00:15:23,500
I read the directions
very carefully.
253
00:15:23,534 --> 00:15:26,834
It's nontoxic to everything
but rabbits.
254
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:35,733
Hi there.
255
00:15:35,767 --> 00:15:37,900
Anyone been spraying poison?
256
00:15:42,667 --> 00:15:44,166
Why do you ask?
257
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,500
Well, there I was,
out in our backyard,
258
00:15:46,534 --> 00:15:49,800
you know, drying my TV
from the flooding,
259
00:15:49,834 --> 00:15:53,166
when a bald eagle came to drink
from my bird feeder.
260
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,800
Wow. We haven't had a bald eagle
spotted in this area for years.
261
00:15:56,834 --> 00:15:59,133
I know. They're very rare
and beautiful,
262
00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:01,800
except when they're twitching
and hacking their guts out
263
00:16:01,834 --> 00:16:03,900
on my lawn.
264
00:16:03,934 --> 00:16:05,300
You really should have seen it.
265
00:16:05,334 --> 00:16:07,333
It was quite
an excruciating death.
266
00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:08,667
Way to go, Al.
267
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,834
Why don't you throw
one of your socks out the window
268
00:16:10,868 --> 00:16:14,099
and try for the last dodo?
269
00:16:14,133 --> 00:16:17,800
Well, I like to think
that I'm the last dodo, Peg.
270
00:16:17,834 --> 00:16:20,200
But more importantly,
I'm gonna have some vegetables,
271
00:16:20,234 --> 00:16:21,667
'cause there's no way
in the world
272
00:16:21,701 --> 00:16:23,966
that rabbit could have
have survived that death cloud
273
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,234
I let loose
on the neighborhood.
274
00:16:29,834 --> 00:16:31,434
It lives.
275
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,633
Okay, fine.
276
00:16:34,667 --> 00:16:36,200
I didn't ask
for a hobby.
277
00:16:36,234 --> 00:16:37,966
I hate vegetables.
278
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:42,101
But I need that garden
to relieve my stress, damn it!
279
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,133
And I will have that garden
280
00:16:44,167 --> 00:16:47,033
if I have to kill
every single living thing
281
00:16:47,067 --> 00:16:49,467
in this entire,
stinking planet.
282
00:16:49,501 --> 00:16:51,900
This is war.
283
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,900
Al, what are you doing?
284
00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:15,734
Be vewy, vewy quiet.
285
00:17:16,901 --> 00:17:20,001
I'm huntin' wabbit.
286
00:17:23,033 --> 00:17:25,301
Oh, boy.
287
00:17:25,868 --> 00:17:28,166
Daddy, let me give you
some advice.
288
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:32,700
Um, I've been watching these
television show about rabbits.
289
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,934
Don't put the barrel of the gun
down the hole,
290
00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:38,700
because what they do
291
00:17:38,734 --> 00:17:40,133
is they'll tie it in a knot
292
00:17:40,167 --> 00:17:43,434
so that it explodes
in your face.
293
00:17:46,033 --> 00:17:47,533
Or sometimes
what they'll do
294
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,600
is they'll make it
really long and curved
295
00:17:49,634 --> 00:17:52,500
so that it comes out
from a hole behind you,
296
00:17:52,534 --> 00:17:55,934
and you shoot yourself
in the butt.
297
00:17:58,567 --> 00:18:03,034
To be forewarned
is to have four arms.
298
00:18:09,601 --> 00:18:14,067
Well, Princeton's loss
is The Gap's gain.
299
00:18:14,467 --> 00:18:17,967
Oh, Mr. Wabbit!
300
00:18:18,834 --> 00:18:22,334
Come and get
a tasty cawwot!
301
00:18:25,067 --> 00:18:27,934
Well, at least he didn't
shoot himself in the foot.
302
00:18:27,968 --> 00:18:30,067
Hmph.
Give him a minute.
303
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:33,533
Ah! Ow, my foot!
304
00:18:37,734 --> 00:18:40,300
What's he doing now?
305
00:18:40,334 --> 00:18:43,600
Well, he's got
the flamethrower.
306
00:18:44,334 --> 00:18:46,233
He's aiming it
at the hole.
307
00:18:46,267 --> 00:18:48,001
He shoots...
308
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,099
and misses.
309
00:18:52,133 --> 00:18:54,166
Garden on fire?
310
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,133
Yup.
311
00:18:56,167 --> 00:18:59,201
And so is
Mrs. Rhoades' fence.
312
00:18:59,934 --> 00:19:03,001
Whoa!
Look at her big tree go.
313
00:19:04,901 --> 00:19:07,200
Well, at least he didn't
shoot himself in the foot.
314
00:19:07,234 --> 00:19:09,700
Hmph.
Give him a minute.
315
00:19:11,767 --> 00:19:15,067
Ow, my foot! Ow, my-- Ow!
316
00:19:15,834 --> 00:19:17,633
Oh, fire!
Ow, my foot!
317
00:19:17,667 --> 00:19:20,600
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh!
318
00:19:35,067 --> 00:19:37,900
So this is how it ends,
eh, Mom?
319
00:19:38,100 --> 00:19:40,266
As long as it ends.
320
00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:42,101
Daddy?
321
00:19:42,667 --> 00:19:44,368
What?
322
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:47,433
Nothing.
323
00:19:47,467 --> 00:19:49,433
Good.
324
00:19:49,467 --> 00:19:52,999
Now, I put this down
his little hole,
325
00:19:53,033 --> 00:19:54,400
and I light the fuse,
326
00:19:54,434 --> 00:19:56,767
and bye-bye rabbit.
327
00:20:08,467 --> 00:20:09,767
The fuse is lit,
328
00:20:09,801 --> 00:20:13,733
and we'll be hit by bunny bits
any second now.
329
00:20:13,767 --> 00:20:17,567
Now do you see the importance
of an education, kids?
330
00:20:17,901 --> 00:20:18,934
Uh, Dad...
331
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:21,333
before your fingers
hit pay dirt,
332
00:20:21,367 --> 00:20:23,934
are you sure you didn't use
too much dynamite?
333
00:20:23,968 --> 00:20:25,834
Son, if dynamite was dangerous,
334
00:20:25,868 --> 00:20:29,067
do you think they'd sell it
to an idiot like me?
335
00:20:29,634 --> 00:20:31,266
Now, nothing can go wrong.
336
00:20:31,300 --> 00:20:33,099
I've taken every precaution.
337
00:20:33,133 --> 00:20:36,368
Including making sure
it was nowhere near a gas line?
338
00:20:44,467 --> 00:20:46,067
Hit the dirt.
339
00:21:01,801 --> 00:21:05,700
You know, it's such
a beautiful day.
340
00:21:05,734 --> 00:21:09,033
I hardly miss
the house at all.
341
00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:12,733
It was a nice explosion,
wasn't it?
342
00:21:12,767 --> 00:21:13,900
But on the good side,
343
00:21:13,934 --> 00:21:17,600
the ensuing fire
did dry out my living room.
344
00:21:17,634 --> 00:21:19,366
But the sun
would have done that anyway,
345
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:22,167
since I no longer
have a roof.
346
00:21:22,901 --> 00:21:26,434
Well, that's odd.
We have two.
347
00:21:26,968 --> 00:21:29,667
Yeah, one for each wall
in my room.
348
00:21:29,701 --> 00:21:33,400
Nobody's asked me
how my stress is.
349
00:21:33,434 --> 00:21:35,934
Oh, we're sorry.
350
00:21:35,968 --> 00:21:39,167
How's your stress,
lint-for-brains?
351
00:21:39,667 --> 00:21:40,733
I'm mellow.
352
00:21:40,767 --> 00:21:42,033
You know why?
353
00:21:42,067 --> 00:21:45,099
You don't see a rabbit out here,
do you?
354
00:21:45,133 --> 00:21:46,567
Sure don't, honey.
355
00:21:46,601 --> 00:21:48,133
You did real good.
356
00:21:48,167 --> 00:21:50,934
That's all I wanted to hear.
357
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,600
You know,
I really feel good.
358
00:22:10,634 --> 00:22:12,533
Carrot?
359
00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:18,201
That's Al, folks.
25934
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