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1
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[ CLOCK TICKING ]
2
00:00:14,062 --> 00:00:15,933
[ COMPUTER BEEPS ]
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00:00:15,977 --> 00:00:18,066
[ KEYBOARD CLACKING ]
4
00:00:18,110 --> 00:00:19,546
[ COMPUTER BEEPS ]
5
00:00:19,589 --> 00:00:21,243
[ CLACKING CONTINUES ]
6
00:00:21,287 --> 00:00:22,766
[ COMPUTER BEEPS ]
7
00:00:22,810 --> 00:00:26,031
[ ALARM BLARING ]
8
00:00:26,074 --> 00:00:29,295
[ CLOCK TICKING ]
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00:00:29,338 --> 00:00:32,472
[ KEYPAD BEEPS ]
10
00:00:39,218 --> 00:00:41,568
All units, please respond
to a possible intruder
11
00:00:41,611 --> 00:00:42,917
in the Research Department.
12
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,527
[ BLARING CONTINUES ]
13
00:00:54,146 --> 00:00:56,104
THIS PRODUCT IS THE RESULT
14
00:00:56,148 --> 00:00:59,107
OF YEARS OF RESEARCH
AND DEVELOPMENT.
15
00:00:59,151 --> 00:01:00,717
EVERYONE AT THE COMPANY
16
00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:03,851
IS CONVINCED THE STOCK PRICE
IS GOING TO SOAR.
17
00:01:03,894 --> 00:01:05,766
[ CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING ]
18
00:01:09,422 --> 00:01:10,727
A TOY?
19
00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:12,207
CHUBBY SNUBBY.
20
00:01:12,251 --> 00:01:14,427
I WAS THE EXEC
OVERSEEING ITS SAFETY REPORT,
21
00:01:14,470 --> 00:01:17,821
WHICH CAME BACK WITH A LEVEL
THREE CHOKING HAZARD RATING.
22
00:01:17,865 --> 00:01:21,390
BUT I REFUSED TO COOK THE BOOKS,
SO HAZLIT FIRED ME.
23
00:01:21,434 --> 00:01:22,739
HAZLIT?
24
00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:24,741
TRENT HAZLIT,
C.E.O. OF POGGIO TOYS.
25
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:27,092
AND HE'S NOT WORRIED
ABOUT LAWSUITS?
26
00:01:27,135 --> 00:01:29,703
HAZLIT DOES COST-BENEFITS
FOR EVERYTHING.
27
00:01:29,746 --> 00:01:32,401
AND THE DEATHS OF A FEW KIDS
IS AN ACCEPTABLE RISK
28
00:01:32,445 --> 00:01:33,663
IN THE NAME OF PROFIT.
29
00:01:33,707 --> 00:01:35,100
WELL, HE IS AWFULLY CUTE.
30
00:01:35,143 --> 00:01:37,319
NOT SO CUTE
WHEN A KID SWALLOWS ITS NOSE
31
00:01:37,363 --> 00:01:39,887
AND IT SWELLS UP
TO THE SIZE OF A POMEGRANATE.
32
00:01:39,930 --> 00:01:41,497
HAZLIT BURIED
THE CHUBBY SNUBBY REPORT
33
00:01:41,541 --> 00:01:43,064
SO HE COULD LAUNCH
BEFORE CHRISTMAS.
34
00:01:43,108 --> 00:01:45,240
ALL THE TOYS
ARE AT RETAIL WAREHOUSES
35
00:01:45,284 --> 00:01:48,200
WAITING FOR THE ANNOUNCEMENT
AT THE PACIFIC TOY EXPO.
36
00:01:48,243 --> 00:01:51,072
WE'RE LOOKING AT A TICKING BOMB.
37
00:01:51,116 --> 00:01:55,120
DON'T LET THIS THING HIT
THE MARKET, MR. FORD -- PLEASE.
38
00:01:57,470 --> 00:01:59,080
[ COMPUTER BEEPS ]
39
00:01:59,124 --> 00:02:03,650
TRENT HAZLIT -- C.E.O.
OF GLOBAL TOY GIANT POGGIO TOYS.
40
00:02:03,693 --> 00:02:06,696
NOW, THE DAYS OF THE COLORFUL
FAMILY TOY EXEC ARE LONG GONE.
41
00:02:06,740 --> 00:02:09,264
NOWADAYS, COMPANIES BRING IN
THESE WALL STREET WOLVERINES
42
00:02:09,308 --> 00:02:11,266
WHO COULDN'T CARE LESS
ABOUT KIDS ORTOYS.
43
00:02:11,310 --> 00:02:13,703
ALL THEY CARE ABOUT
IS BRANDING AND STOCK GROWTH.
44
00:02:13,747 --> 00:02:15,183
WELL, WHERE'D HAZLIT COME FROM?
45
00:02:15,227 --> 00:02:16,793
-ONE GUESS.
-SANTA'S WORKSHOP.
46
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:18,404
-NO. [ CHUCKLES ]
-DOUGHNUTS.
47
00:02:18,447 --> 00:02:20,232
NO. AND THAT'S TWO GUESSES.
STOP PLAYING.
48
00:02:20,275 --> 00:02:22,321
HE COMES FROM
DEFENSE CONTRACTING.
49
00:02:22,364 --> 00:02:25,976
20 YEARS AGO, HE WAS SELLING
RPGs AND ANTI-AIRCRAFT WEAPONRY
50
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:27,326
TO BOTH LATIN-AMERICAN DICTATORS
51
00:02:27,369 --> 00:02:28,979
AND THE REBEL GROUPS
THAT OPPOSED THEM.
52
00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:30,807
-I HATE ARMS DEALERS.
-YEAH.
53
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:33,114
NOW, NINE YEARS AGO,
HE TAKES OVER POGGIO TOYS,
54
00:02:33,158 --> 00:02:35,203
MOVES THE MANUFACTURING
OVERSEAS,
55
00:02:35,247 --> 00:02:36,813
HE LOWERED SAFETY STANDARDS,
56
00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:38,902
AND HE BURIED
CLASS-ACTION SUITS.
57
00:02:38,946 --> 00:02:40,556
OKAY, UH, WHAT'S SECURITY LIKE?
58
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,863
HE'S USING THE SAME M.O.
AS HE DID WHEN HE SOLD WEAPONS.
59
00:02:42,906 --> 00:02:44,604
HE'S USING DOUBLE-WALLED ROOMS.
60
00:02:44,647 --> 00:02:46,823
HE'S LOCKING AWAY TOY DESIGNS
AT THE END OF EVERY SHIFT.
61
00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:47,998
HE'S CHANGING CODES DAILY.
62
00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:49,652
UH, SAFETY REPORT?
63
00:02:49,696 --> 00:02:51,524
IT'S DIGITAL. IT'S KEPT
IN A SPECIAL SERVER,
64
00:02:51,567 --> 00:02:53,047
WHICH IS LOCKED
IN A SPECIAL SAFE,
65
00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,701
WHICH IS HELD
IN A SPECIAL SERVER ROOM.
66
00:02:54,744 --> 00:02:56,790
-PARKER?
-A BOYLAN-KIM 53-11.
67
00:02:56,833 --> 00:02:59,227
JUST HAVE TO DRILL IT --
NO PROBLEM.
68
00:02:59,271 --> 00:03:01,925
OKAY, SO, WE'LL STEAL
THE SAFETY REPORT,
69
00:03:01,969 --> 00:03:03,231
RELEASE IT TO THE PUBLIC,
70
00:03:03,275 --> 00:03:04,928
THEN HAZLIT
IS GONNA HAVE TO SPIKE
71
00:03:04,972 --> 00:03:07,322
THE CHUBBY SNUBBY DOG LAUNCH.
72
00:03:07,366 --> 00:03:10,717
LET'S DO IT.
73
00:03:15,765 --> 00:03:18,203
[ SIGHS ]
74
00:03:21,771 --> 00:03:23,556
I-I'M SAYING THAT WE --
75
00:03:23,599 --> 00:03:25,471
UH, I THINK WE WENT OVERBOARD
ON CHRISTMAS GIFTS LAST YEAR.
76
00:03:25,514 --> 00:03:27,255
[ SIGHS ]
77
00:03:27,299 --> 00:03:29,126
NATE,
I LOVE MY ECOSSE MOTORCYCLE
78
00:03:29,170 --> 00:03:33,174
FROM LAST CHRISTMAS --
COMPLIMENTS OF MY SANTA-BABY.
79
00:03:33,218 --> 00:03:34,306
[ DRILL WHIRRING ]
80
00:03:35,220 --> 00:03:38,353
YOU SPENT $100,000
ON A MOTORCYCLE?
81
00:03:38,397 --> 00:03:41,487
DON'T HATE THE GIFT.
HATE THE ELF.
82
00:03:41,530 --> 00:03:43,315
I DOHATE THE ELF.
83
00:03:43,358 --> 00:03:44,707
[ WHIRRING CONTINUES, STOPS ]
84
00:03:44,751 --> 00:03:46,231
SO, ARE YOU SAYING
85
00:03:46,274 --> 00:03:47,928
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
NO CHRISTMAS PRESENTS AT ALL?
86
00:03:47,971 --> 00:03:49,059
NOT EVEN SOMETHING SMALL?
87
00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:50,539
NO GIFTS.
88
00:03:50,583 --> 00:03:52,367
But [scoffs]
89
00:03:52,411 --> 00:03:55,327
HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO
CHRISTMAS WITHOUT ANY PRESENTS?
90
00:03:55,370 --> 00:03:57,242
Let's just put a limit
on spending.
91
00:03:57,285 --> 00:03:58,939
SAY...$1,000 A--
92
00:03:58,982 --> 00:04:00,680
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
93
00:04:00,723 --> 00:04:03,683
-$100 A--
-[ CLEARS THROAT ]
94
00:04:03,726 --> 00:04:06,381
-50 BUCKS A PERSON.
-MM.
95
00:04:08,078 --> 00:04:10,516
FINE, WHATEVER.
96
00:04:10,559 --> 00:04:12,605
[ DIAL CLICKING ]
97
00:04:16,609 --> 00:04:18,393
[ DOOR OPENS ]
98
00:04:20,352 --> 00:04:22,179
I'M IN.
99
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:34,453
[ BEEPING ]
100
00:04:37,282 --> 00:04:40,807
[ CELLPHONE BEEPING ]
101
00:04:40,850 --> 00:04:43,157
OKAY. DOWNLOADING NOW.
102
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,812
AND...I GOT IT.
103
00:04:45,855 --> 00:04:50,077
THREE MINUTES TO SEAL UP, AND
HE'LL NEVER KNOW WE WERE HERE.
104
00:04:55,865 --> 00:04:58,433
YEAH, HE DOCTORED THE DATA.
105
00:04:58,477 --> 00:05:00,957
AND THE AMERICAN SAFETY
ASSOCIATION OF PEDIATRICIANS
106
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,219
IS GIVING IT FIVE STARS!
107
00:05:02,263 --> 00:05:03,786
YEAH, I THOUGHT THAT WAS WEIRD.
108
00:05:03,830 --> 00:05:05,397
YEAH, THEY'RE A BUNCH
OF RETIRED DOCTORS
109
00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,399
BASED OUT OF GUAM WITH
NO STANDING IN THE BUSINESS.
110
00:05:07,442 --> 00:05:09,226
I'M SURE THEY'RE
ON HAZLIT'S PAYROLL.
111
00:05:09,270 --> 00:05:10,924
SHOULDN'T SOMEBODY
BE REGULATING THIS STUFF?
112
00:05:10,967 --> 00:05:12,665
WANT TO KNOW WHO REGULATES
TOY SAFETY IN THIS COUNTRY?
113
00:05:12,708 --> 00:05:13,796
THE TOY COMPANIES.
114
00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:17,322
WHAT ABOUT GOVERNMENT?
115
00:05:17,365 --> 00:05:19,628
CONSUMER PRODUCT SAFETY
COMMISSION. THEY TRY.
116
00:05:19,672 --> 00:05:21,456
THEY'RE A SOLID
GOVERNMENT AGENCY,
117
00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:23,589
BUT SAFETY STUDIES
ARE VOLUNTARY,
118
00:05:23,632 --> 00:05:26,026
SO CERTAIN COMPANIES
JUST WON'T TAKE THAT RISK
119
00:05:26,069 --> 00:05:27,984
BECAUSE IF A TOY
IS FOUND HAZARDOUS,
120
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:29,421
THEY HAVE TO MAKE IT PUBLIC.
121
00:05:29,464 --> 00:05:31,161
YEAH, UNLESS YOU BUY
SOME DOCTORS IN GUAM.
122
00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:33,250
I APPRECIATE YOU TRYING.
123
00:05:33,294 --> 00:05:34,513
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
124
00:05:34,556 --> 00:05:36,471
MR. MARRIS, LISTEN --
THIS ISN'T OVER.
125
00:05:36,515 --> 00:05:38,081
IT ISN'T.
126
00:05:38,125 --> 00:05:40,519
NOW, WE ARE NOT GONNA
LET THAT TOY GET RELEASED.
127
00:05:40,562 --> 00:05:42,869
I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW
WHO YOU'RE UP AGAINST.
128
00:05:42,912 --> 00:05:45,828
TRENT HAZLIT
IS A CORPORATE HITMAN --
129
00:05:45,872 --> 00:05:47,830
HE'S CAPABLE OF ANYTHING.
130
00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:55,011
YOU REALIZE THAT WITHOUT THAT
SAFETY STUDY, WE GOT NOTHING.
131
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,099
-YEAH.
-MM-HMM.
132
00:05:56,143 --> 00:05:57,623
SO, WHY'D YOU PROMISE HIM THAT?
133
00:05:57,666 --> 00:06:00,669
BECAUSE WE ARE NOT GONNA
LET THAT TOY GET RELEASED.
134
00:06:00,713 --> 00:06:03,237
WE'RE GONNA STEAL CHRISTMAS.
135
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,717
NO, THE TROJAN HORSE WON'T WORK.
136
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,632
WE'D HAVE TO SELL HAZLIT
A TOY COMPANY
137
00:06:06,675 --> 00:06:08,416
SO FILLED
WITH FINANCIAL LIABILITY
138
00:06:08,460 --> 00:06:11,114
THAT IT BANKRUPTS HIM BEFORE
THE LAUNCH OF CHUBBY SNUBBY.
139
00:06:11,158 --> 00:06:13,334
EXACTLY. WE JUST BAIT HIM
WITH A NEW HIT TOY.
140
00:06:13,378 --> 00:06:14,814
BUT THE LAUNCH IS IN THREE DAYS.
141
00:06:14,857 --> 00:06:17,033
WE DON'T HAVE TIME
TO CREATE A WHOLE NEW TOY.
142
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:19,601
AH, THAT'S WHY HARDISON
IS FINDING US SOME FAILED TOYS
143
00:06:19,645 --> 00:06:20,776
THAT ALREADY EXIST.
144
00:06:20,820 --> 00:06:22,604
YEAH, THIS IS SECOND RUN OF FUN.
145
00:06:22,648 --> 00:06:24,693
IT'S A THIRD-PARTY
TOY DISTRIBUTOR
146
00:06:24,737 --> 00:06:27,392
THAT SELLS FAILED TOYS TO
BOLIVIA AND THE SUDAN IN BULK.
147
00:06:27,435 --> 00:06:29,916
THEY ALSO SELL THOSE
SUPER BOWL "LOSER" T-SHIRTS.
148
00:06:29,959 --> 00:06:33,354
NOW, CHECK THIS OUT --
THEY GOT TSA SECURITY SCREENER,
149
00:06:33,398 --> 00:06:37,184
WHIRLIE-GLEE-GLEE, HOMELESS
MOTHER AND DAUGHTER DOLL SET.
150
00:06:37,227 --> 00:06:38,620
THESE ARE TOYS.
151
00:06:38,664 --> 00:06:40,840
AND THIS IS MY FAVORITE --
SIR BOAT-A-LOT.
152
00:06:40,883 --> 00:06:43,582
YOU PULL HIS ARM,
AND HE GIVES YOU A SAILING TIP.
153
00:06:43,625 --> 00:06:46,062
GO BACK, UH,
TO THE TURNY THING. JUST --
154
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:47,499
-THE WHIRLIE-GLEE-GLEE?
-YEAH.
155
00:06:47,542 --> 00:06:49,805
THIS THING WAS SUPPOSED TO
DO FIGURE EIGHTS.
156
00:06:49,849 --> 00:06:51,198
IT BARELY DID A FIGURE ONE.
157
00:06:51,241 --> 00:06:52,504
SOLD 1,100 UNITS.
158
00:06:52,547 --> 00:06:55,202
I ACTUALLY THINK
I HAD ONE AS A KID.
159
00:06:55,245 --> 00:06:57,465
WELL, IT'S BLAND ENOUGH
TO SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS
160
00:06:57,509 --> 00:06:58,945
BUT QUIRKY ENOUGH TO SEEM NOVEL.
161
00:06:58,988 --> 00:07:00,816
SO, WE JUST HAVE TO GET
THE KIDS TO GO CRAZY
162
00:07:00,860 --> 00:07:02,688
FOR A TOY
THAT WAS ONCE CONSIDERED JUNK.
163
00:07:02,731 --> 00:07:04,298
MM. WELL, A TOY CRAZE
IS LIKE A CON --
164
00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:06,126
YOU JUST GOT TO CONVINCE SOMEONE
THEY WANT SOMETHING
165
00:07:06,169 --> 00:07:07,475
THAT THEY DIDN'T KNOW
THEY WANTED.
166
00:07:07,519 --> 00:07:09,129
IN THIS CASE, IT'S PRESCHOOLERS.
167
00:07:09,172 --> 00:07:10,783
SO, WHEN IS THIS THING
SHIPPED TO AFRICA?
168
00:07:10,826 --> 00:07:12,785
IN 39 HOURS.
169
00:07:12,828 --> 00:07:14,482
OKAY, WELL, WE GOT TO GET OUR
HANDS ON THE, UH -- THE, UH --
170
00:07:14,526 --> 00:07:15,918
WHIRLIE-GLEE-GLEE?
171
00:07:15,962 --> 00:07:18,486
WHIRLIE-GLEE-GLEE
BEFORE IT'S GONE-GONE.
172
00:07:18,530 --> 00:07:19,444
RIGHT.
173
00:07:30,237 --> 00:07:32,239
[ CLICK ]
174
00:07:52,825 --> 00:07:54,000
HMM.
175
00:08:03,705 --> 00:08:05,707
WHO IN THE HELL WOULD
GIVE THIS THING TO A CHILD?
176
00:08:05,751 --> 00:08:07,100
IT'S NOT A THING.
177
00:08:07,143 --> 00:08:08,797
IT IS A DOLL,
AND KIDS LOVE DOLLS.
178
00:08:08,841 --> 00:08:11,147
IT AIN'T NO DOLL. THAT'S
SOME OLD, VOODOO WITCHCRAFT,
179
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,758
AND I DON'T WANT IT
UP IN LUCILLE.
180
00:08:12,801 --> 00:08:13,672
YOU KNOW WHAT? WHAT IF I SAID
THAT ABOUT THE FLASHY KICKS
181
00:08:13,715 --> 00:08:15,238
YOU'VE BEEN GIVING ME LATELY?
182
00:08:15,282 --> 00:08:17,545
HEY, THEY ARE AWESOME.
THEY MAKE YOU SHINY AND FAST.
183
00:08:17,589 --> 00:08:20,896
OKAY, THIS THING, NO KID SHOULD
EVER BE SUBJECTED TO -- EVER.
184
00:08:20,940 --> 00:08:23,290
[ SIGHS ]
185
00:08:23,333 --> 00:08:24,770
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS,
CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
186
00:08:24,813 --> 00:08:27,294
-Nate, you see this?
-OH.
187
00:08:27,337 --> 00:08:29,601
GUYS, IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHAT TOY PARKER PICKS.
188
00:08:29,644 --> 00:08:31,167
ANYTHING CAN BE SOLD.
189
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:33,561
ELIOT'S RIGHT. IT'S JUST
A MASS-MARKETING CON GAME,
190
00:08:33,605 --> 00:08:35,345
AND IT'S ABOUT
CREATING WILDFIRE BUZZ
191
00:08:35,389 --> 00:08:38,261
LIKE THE MODERN-ART WORLD
OR THE MOVIE BUSINESS.
192
00:08:38,305 --> 00:08:39,567
Any crappy product --
193
00:08:39,611 --> 00:08:41,134
WHA-- BABY JOY RAGE
IS NOT CRAPPY.
194
00:08:41,177 --> 00:08:43,049
-IT'S CRAPPY.
-Any misunderstood product
195
00:08:43,092 --> 00:08:46,356
CAN MAKE BILLIONS AS LONG
AS IT HAS THE RIGHT BUZZ.
196
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:49,534
WE JUST GOT TO GET THAT THING
ON HAZLIT'S RADAR.
197
00:08:51,361 --> 00:08:55,583
J.I.C. SAYS THE KIDS WILL CLOCK
THE MUTT IN AT 88.6% SATISFIED.
198
00:08:55,627 --> 00:08:57,803
-[ CHUCKLES ]
-THE WHAT, SIR?
199
00:08:57,846 --> 00:09:00,806
THE J.I.C. --
JUBILATION INDEX CALCULATOR.
200
00:09:00,849 --> 00:09:01,937
NEW APP I DEVELOPED.
201
00:09:01,981 --> 00:09:03,591
JUST TAKE A PIC OF THE ITEM.
202
00:09:03,635 --> 00:09:06,115
BOOM -- THE THING REGISTERS
THE TOY'S GROSS MARKET
203
00:09:06,159 --> 00:09:07,813
AND FRANCHISE POTENTIAL
204
00:09:07,856 --> 00:09:10,772
VIS-à-VIS THE KID'S HAND SIZE,
AGE, AND ETHNICITY.
205
00:09:10,816 --> 00:09:14,210
88.6 IS 4 POINTS HIGHER
THAN TRAMPY...WHAT'S-HER-FACE?
206
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:15,951
-DAMSEL JUDY.
-[ SIGHS ]
207
00:09:15,995 --> 00:09:19,607
STILL DON'T KNOW HOW DADS
LET THEIR GIRLS NEAR THAT THING.
208
00:09:19,651 --> 00:09:21,261
BUT, HEY, THE LITTLE TRAMP
209
00:09:21,304 --> 00:09:24,046
EARNED US $24 MILLION
LAST YEAR, RIGHT?
210
00:09:24,090 --> 00:09:27,441
HAZLIT HAS A VISE-GRIP
ON RETAIL GIANT JOYLANDIA'S
211
00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:28,877
PREMIUM SHELF SPACE.
212
00:09:28,921 --> 00:09:30,618
COMPANIES FIGHT
TO THE DEATH EACH YEAR
213
00:09:30,662 --> 00:09:32,315
FOR THE BEST SHELF SPACE
IN STORES.
214
00:09:32,359 --> 00:09:34,796
AND THAT KIND OF CONTRACT
GETS RE-UPPED HERE AT THIS EXPO.
215
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:36,842
ALL RIGHT, SOPHIE,
YOU'RE THE NEW COMPETITION.
216
00:09:36,885 --> 00:09:39,453
GET THAT CONTRACT.
217
00:09:41,063 --> 00:09:44,110
END CAPS, ACTION ALLEYS,
INTERACTIVE KIOSKS --
218
00:09:44,153 --> 00:09:47,461
I WANT IT ALL BECAUSE
THIS TOY IS GONNA BE MASSIVE.
219
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:49,202
[ CHUCKLES ]
220
00:09:49,245 --> 00:09:52,074
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MANY REPS
TELL ME THAT, MISS...RONDER.
221
00:09:52,118 --> 00:09:55,208
WELL, UNLIKE THEM,
I'M NOT GUESSING.
222
00:09:55,251 --> 00:09:59,038
I NEVER GUESS. I HAVE
A 95% SELL-THROUGH RATE.
223
00:09:59,081 --> 00:10:03,651
LISTEN -- I'M TELLING YOU,
THIS TOY IS A HIT.
224
00:10:03,695 --> 00:10:06,088
I'M STAYING AT THE LAMY.
225
00:10:06,132 --> 00:10:07,960
-OH!
-OH, PARDON ME.
226
00:10:08,003 --> 00:10:09,657
EXCUSE ME. [ LAUGHS ]
227
00:10:09,701 --> 00:10:12,442
HEY. TRENT.
HOW THE HELL ARE YOU?
228
00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:14,706
GOOD, GIL. WHO WAS THAT?
229
00:10:14,749 --> 00:10:16,403
OH, MIMI RONDER.
230
00:10:16,446 --> 00:10:19,798
NEW TOY REP
WITH A TON OF CHARM --
231
00:10:19,841 --> 00:10:22,539
AND A GREAT PAIR
OF LEGS.
232
00:10:22,583 --> 00:10:25,064
SHE'S BIDDING ON JOYLANDIA'S
PREMIUM SHELF SPACE?
233
00:10:25,107 --> 00:10:27,196
[ LAUGHS ]
234
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:30,330
YOU DON'T HAVE A THING
TO WORRY ABOUT, TRENT, OLD BOY.
235
00:10:30,373 --> 00:10:32,767
YOU ALWAYS COME UP
WITH THE HIGHEST BID.
236
00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,294
YOU KNOW HAZLIT'S
JUST GONNA OUTBID US
237
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,514
-FOR THAT SHELF-SPACE PACKAGE.
-AH, THAT'S FINE.
238
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:42,342
THAT BID WAS JUST
TO GET ON HIS RADAR.
239
00:10:42,385 --> 00:10:44,170
NOW COMES THE HARD PART --
240
00:10:44,213 --> 00:10:48,130
GETTING THE KIDS OF AMERICA
TO LOVE A TOY THEY NEVER WANTED.
241
00:10:48,174 --> 00:10:50,263
AH, WE JUST GOT TO FIND
THE RIGHT PLACE
242
00:10:50,306 --> 00:10:51,917
TO START A VIRAL TOY CRAZE.
243
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,093
NOW, I RAN ALGORITHMS
ON ALL THE PORTLAND ZIP CODES
244
00:10:54,136 --> 00:10:56,486
TO FIND THE MOST LIKELY NEXUS
FOR A SOCIAL-BUZZ EPIDEMIC.
245
00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:58,924
THESE HUB AGENTS ARE THE MOST
INFLUENTIAL FAMILY AREAS.
246
00:10:58,967 --> 00:11:01,013
FAMILIES WHO START FADS. GOOD.
247
00:11:01,056 --> 00:11:04,494
RIGHT. NOW, THEY'RE ALL
CONNECTED TO DIFFERENT GROUPS,
248
00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:06,235
BUT THEY HAVE ONE THING
IN COMMON.
249
00:11:06,279 --> 00:11:07,280
[ COMPUTER BEEPS ]
250
00:11:07,323 --> 00:11:09,021
AH, A WEEKLY FARMER'S MARKET.
251
00:11:09,064 --> 00:11:11,284
SO, I FIGURE
WE GO SET UP A BOOTH,
252
00:11:11,327 --> 00:11:13,852
-START A GRASSROOTS-TYPE CRAZE.
-PERFECT.
253
00:11:13,895 --> 00:11:16,506
I GET A VENDOR'S LICENSE
TO SELL THE TOY.
254
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:17,943
-WE CAN --
-EHH, I DON'T THINK SO.
255
00:11:17,986 --> 00:11:21,816
SO...NO TO THE FARMER'S MARKET?
256
00:11:21,860 --> 00:11:24,253
YES TO THE FARMER'S MARKET.
NO TO SELLING THE TOY THERE.
257
00:11:24,297 --> 00:11:26,429
-WE'RE NOT?
-NO, WE'RE GONNA DO SOMETHING
258
00:11:26,473 --> 00:11:28,605
MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE
THAN SELLING.
259
00:11:28,649 --> 00:11:30,825
THESE LOOK GREAT.
260
00:11:30,869 --> 00:11:32,740
THAT'S FINE.
261
00:11:34,829 --> 00:11:36,396
LOOK, IT'S HAPPY.
262
00:11:36,439 --> 00:11:38,572
AW, IT'S NOT SO HAPPY,
BUT THEN IT'S HAPPY AGAIN.
263
00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:40,966
IT CHANGES MOODS.
IT'S PRETTY COOL, RIGHT?
264
00:11:41,009 --> 00:11:43,272
NO?
265
00:11:43,316 --> 00:11:45,100
HEY! HERE, TAKE IT --
IT'S FREE.
266
00:11:45,144 --> 00:11:47,320
THANK YOU.
267
00:11:47,363 --> 00:11:48,713
TELL YOUR FRIENDS!
268
00:11:48,756 --> 00:11:50,584
FREE TOYS! YEAH!
269
00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,717
[ CHILDREN CHEERING ]
270
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:54,196
HEY, HEY.
271
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,721
[ Chuckling ] THERE YOU ARE.
ALL RIGHT. HUH?
272
00:11:56,764 --> 00:11:58,984
THERE YOU GO, BUDDY. GOOD?
273
00:11:59,027 --> 00:12:01,334
NATE, IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING.
274
00:12:01,377 --> 00:12:04,772
THE DRUG-DEALER APPROACH --
YOU FOR REAL?
275
00:12:04,816 --> 00:12:06,252
FIRST TASTE IS FREE.
276
00:12:06,295 --> 00:12:08,036
WORD SPREADS,
KEEPS THEM COMING BACK FOR MORE.
277
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,299
NOW, WE GOT TO GET THAT TOY
IN THE HANDS OF A TASTEMAKER.
278
00:12:10,343 --> 00:12:12,214
YOU KNOW, THE PEOPLE THAT
TELL OTHER PEOPLE WHAT TO BUY.
279
00:12:12,258 --> 00:12:14,564
AND YOU KNOW WHO THE MOST
INFLUENTIAL TASTEMAKERS ARE?
280
00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:15,609
CELEBRITIES.
281
00:12:16,871 --> 00:12:20,179
[ LAUGHS ] I GOT ONE.
282
00:12:20,222 --> 00:12:22,355
[ KEYBOARD CLACKING ]
283
00:12:22,398 --> 00:12:24,052
THIS IS PRE-TEEN SANDY MATTEO.
284
00:12:24,096 --> 00:12:26,794
SHE'S FROM THAT SHOW
"SANDY'S SCHOOL TIMES."
285
00:12:26,838 --> 00:12:29,014
SHE'S GOT A MAJOR FAN BASE --
MAJOR.
286
00:12:29,057 --> 00:12:32,887
AN ENDORSEMENT FROM THIS GIRL'S
GONNA GIVE US A TSUNAMI OF HYPE.
287
00:12:32,931 --> 00:12:34,759
WHAT? NO! THERE IS NO WAY.
288
00:12:34,802 --> 00:12:37,544
IT IS THREE POINTS
ON THE GROSS, OR --
289
00:12:37,587 --> 00:12:39,459
OKAY, OR I FIRE YOUR ASS --
290
00:12:39,502 --> 00:12:41,287
THE HAROLD SHUCKERSAN AGENCY
SHRIVELS UP AND DIES!
291
00:12:41,330 --> 00:12:42,418
[ PURSE THUDS ]
292
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:43,811
[ SIGHS ]
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
293
00:12:43,855 --> 00:12:46,118
[ SIGHS ]
WHERE THE HELL ARE MY CLOTHES?!
294
00:12:46,161 --> 00:12:49,556
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO
FIND ANYTHING IN THESE
GIANT TOTES, ISN'T IT?
295
00:12:49,599 --> 00:12:52,820
YOU KNOW, I ALMOST
LOST MY SHIH TZU IN MINE.
296
00:12:52,864 --> 00:12:54,300
[ LAUGHS ]
297
00:12:54,343 --> 00:12:57,346
NO. NO, NO.
THAT'S DISGUSTING.
298
00:12:57,390 --> 00:12:59,566
WHAT'S YOURS, HMM? A GUCCI?
299
00:12:59,609 --> 00:13:01,873
IT'S AN ORIGINAL ERIN WALTER --
NOT ON THE MARKET YET.
300
00:13:01,916 --> 00:13:02,874
OHH.
301
00:13:02,917 --> 00:13:04,658
YOU'RE SANDY MATTEO, RIGHT?
302
00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:08,618
YOU'RE MARVELOUS, DARLING!
303
00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:10,533
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]
304
00:13:19,934 --> 00:13:22,894
SANDY MATTEO NOW LOVES
AND ENDORSES BABY JOY RAGE.
305
00:13:22,937 --> 00:13:24,634
YOU KNOW WHAT, MAN?
306
00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:26,898
I COULD ACTUALLY MAKE
A SECOND CAREER AS A PAPARAZZO.
307
00:13:26,941 --> 00:13:28,682
ALL RIGHT, GREAT. LET'S GET
THAT ENDORSEMENT OUT THERE.
308
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,249
GOT YOU. I AM CURRENTLY
EMBEDDING MATTEO'S PHOTOS
309
00:13:30,292 --> 00:13:31,903
ON 23 DIFFERENT SITES --
310
00:13:31,946 --> 00:13:34,557
TEEN BLOG PAGES, GAME PORTALS,
TOY BLOGS -- YOU NAME IT.
311
00:13:34,601 --> 00:13:36,603
I EVEN GOT CELEBRITIES
TWEETING ABOUT IT.
312
00:13:36,646 --> 00:13:38,126
MAN, IF THERE IS A KID
WHO DOES NOT KNOW
313
00:13:38,170 --> 00:13:39,649
WHAT THIS TOY IS BY NEXT WEEK,
314
00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:40,650
THEY'RE PROBABLY BEING
HOMESCHOOLED SOMEWHERE
315
00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:41,651
UNDER A ROCK.
316
00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:42,914
OKAY, NEXT STEP IS SCARCITY.
317
00:13:42,957 --> 00:13:44,829
ALL RIGHT, WE GOT TO
MAKE IT FEEL LIKE
318
00:13:44,872 --> 00:13:46,221
EVERY MOM AND DAD IN THE COUNTRY
319
00:13:46,265 --> 00:13:47,919
CAN'T GET THEIR HANDS
ON THIS TOY.
320
00:13:47,962 --> 00:13:49,050
GOT IT.
321
00:13:49,094 --> 00:13:51,009
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ]
322
00:13:51,052 --> 00:13:54,577
I WAS JUST WONDERING IF
YOU MIGHT, BY ANY CHANCE,
323
00:13:54,621 --> 00:13:59,495
HAVE ONE OF THOSE
BABY JOY RAGE -- NO, "JOY RAGE."
324
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:00,888
IT'S A DOLL.
325
00:14:00,932 --> 00:14:02,150
OKAY. WELL, YEAH, I --
326
00:14:02,194 --> 00:14:03,804
[ TELEPHONE CLICKS, DIAL TONE ]
327
00:14:03,848 --> 00:14:05,675
ZACHARY.
I NEED MORE CONVICTION.
328
00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:07,242
WHAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
329
00:14:07,286 --> 00:14:09,070
FOR AN ACTOR TO REMEMBER
IN CHARACTER?
330
00:14:09,114 --> 00:14:11,464
-YOUR LINES.
-NO -- DESIRE.
331
00:14:11,507 --> 00:14:13,248
WHAT DO YOU WANT, ZACHARY?
332
00:14:13,292 --> 00:14:14,597
WHAT DOES THE CHARACTER WANT?
333
00:14:14,641 --> 00:14:15,860
THE TOY.
334
00:14:15,903 --> 00:14:17,252
WHY DO YOU WANT IT, ZACHARY?
335
00:14:17,296 --> 00:14:19,341
-TO MAKE MY CHILD HAPPY?
-NO.
336
00:14:19,385 --> 00:14:20,777
YOU WANT THAT TOY
SO THAT YOUR CHILD
337
00:14:20,821 --> 00:14:21,953
WILL SIT STILL
FOR A COUPLE OF SECONDS
338
00:14:21,996 --> 00:14:23,737
AND GIVE YOU SOME PEACE
AND QUIET
339
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:26,087
SO YOU CAN FINALLY OPEN
THAT DELICIOUS BOTTLE OF MERLOT
340
00:14:26,131 --> 00:14:28,916
THAT YOU'VE BEEN DREAMING ABOUT
SINCE 10:00 A.M. THIS MORNING.
341
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,049
[ Sighing ] GOD.
342
00:14:31,092 --> 00:14:33,790
YOU GET ME.
343
00:14:33,834 --> 00:14:35,575
-WHEN I WIN MY FIRST OSCAR...
-MM.
344
00:14:35,618 --> 00:14:37,533
...I'M GONNA NAME IT AFTER YOU,
MS. DEVEREAUX.
345
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,579
I'M GONNA THANK EVERYONE,
AND THEN I'M GONNA SAY,
346
00:14:39,622 --> 00:14:41,146
-"THIS IS NOT AN OSCAR..."
-MNH-MNH.
347
00:14:41,189 --> 00:14:42,887
-"...IT'S A DEVEREAUX."
-OKAY, ZACHARY.
348
00:14:42,930 --> 00:14:44,932
RIGHT.
349
00:14:44,976 --> 00:14:46,455
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
350
00:14:46,499 --> 00:14:48,022
[ TELEPHONE BEEPS ]
351
00:14:48,066 --> 00:14:49,154
HELLO. YES.
352
00:14:49,197 --> 00:14:51,634
I NEED
THIS BABY JOY RAGE DOLL.
353
00:14:51,678 --> 00:14:53,245
"BABY JOY RAGE."
354
00:14:53,288 --> 00:14:56,161
YEAH, MY KID HAS BEEN
GOING CRAZY FOR THIS THING.
355
00:14:56,204 --> 00:14:57,989
ALL OF HIS FRIENDS
HAVE ONE,
356
00:14:58,032 --> 00:15:01,166
AND MY WIFE HAS MADE ME
DRIVE TO THE STORE THREE TIMES
357
00:15:01,209 --> 00:15:02,776
JUST TO SEE IF IT'S IN YET.
358
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:05,213
PANTANI!
359
00:15:06,998 --> 00:15:08,956
YOU WANTED TO SEE ME, SIR?
360
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,088
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
361
00:15:11,654 --> 00:15:14,309
SANDY MATTEO
IS PLUGGING THIS DOLL?
362
00:15:14,353 --> 00:15:16,007
I THOUGHT SHE HAD
AN EXCLUSIVE WITH US --
363
00:15:16,050 --> 00:15:17,834
-ON THE MINI-SKIRT DANCER HOOP.
-WELL, I'LL LOOK INTO IT.
364
00:15:17,878 --> 00:15:19,662
AND CUSTOMER RELATIONS
IS SAYING WE'RE GETTING CALLS
365
00:15:19,706 --> 00:15:21,142
ASKING IF WE OWN THE DOLL,
366
00:15:21,186 --> 00:15:22,317
WANTING TO KNOW
WHEN IT'S GONNA BE RELEASED.
367
00:15:22,361 --> 00:15:23,492
[ SIGHS ]
368
00:15:23,536 --> 00:15:25,320
OH, WELL, LOOK AT THIS.
369
00:15:25,364 --> 00:15:26,887
THAT TOY REP I SAW.
370
00:15:26,931 --> 00:15:29,977
OH, OH, SHE IS A NAUGHTY,
NAUGHTY GIRL.
371
00:15:30,021 --> 00:15:32,110
OKAY, I WANT A SIT-DOWN
WITH GIL BARTON AT JOYLANDIA
372
00:15:32,153 --> 00:15:33,502
A.S.A.-FREAKING-P.
373
00:15:33,546 --> 00:15:36,027
AND I WANT
THE MEDIA SATURATION NUMBERS
374
00:15:36,070 --> 00:15:39,247
ON THIS DEMON DOLL BEFORE
THE END OF BUSINESS TODAY.
375
00:15:39,291 --> 00:15:41,162
COME ON! CHOP-CHOP! LET'S MOVE!
376
00:15:41,206 --> 00:15:46,211
BABY JOY RAGE'S MEDIA SATURATION
NUMBER'S HOVERING AROUND 62%.
377
00:15:46,254 --> 00:15:47,734
IT'S NOT ENOUGH.
378
00:15:47,777 --> 00:15:49,475
WE NEED IT TO BE AT LEAST 89%.
379
00:15:49,518 --> 00:15:52,434
SANTA'S LITTLE HELPER HERE
IS RIGHT -- THE DOLL'S A BUST.
380
00:15:52,478 --> 00:15:53,870
WHIRLIE STUPID THING
WOULD HAVE DONE WORSE.
381
00:15:53,914 --> 00:15:55,089
AND YOU'RE AN EXPERT
ON THIS BECAUSE?
382
00:15:55,133 --> 00:15:56,525
-GUYS.
-BECAUSE I WAS THERE.
383
00:15:56,569 --> 00:15:58,179
-IT SPOKE TO ME.
-IT SPOKETO YOU?
384
00:15:58,223 --> 00:15:59,746
YES, IT REMINDED ME OF A TOY
385
00:15:59,789 --> 00:16:01,922
MY SOCIAL WORKER USED TO
MAKE ME DO EXERCISES WITH.
386
00:16:01,966 --> 00:16:03,358
ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THAT?
387
00:16:03,402 --> 00:16:04,620
OH, LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO
WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO?
388
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,274
-THIS IS STUPID.
-GUYS, JUST SETTLE DOWN.
389
00:16:06,318 --> 00:16:07,884
WAIT A MINUTE. EXERCISES --
WHAT KIND OF EXERCISES?
390
00:16:07,928 --> 00:16:11,149
IDENTIFYING EMOTIONS
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
391
00:16:13,325 --> 00:16:15,414
AND WHAT DO YOU FEEL HERE?
392
00:16:15,457 --> 00:16:17,590
ANGER.
393
00:16:20,462 --> 00:16:22,769
AND THIS GIRL
WITH AN ICE-CREAM CONE?
394
00:16:22,812 --> 00:16:24,771
MORE ANGER.
395
00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:32,039
AND THESE HAPPY FOLKS
AT THE BEACH?
396
00:16:32,083 --> 00:16:35,825
ACTUALLY, THIS ONE MAY BE...
397
00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:38,567
DEFINITELY ANGER.
398
00:16:38,611 --> 00:16:40,613
THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT.
IT'S OBVIOUS.
399
00:16:40,656 --> 00:16:42,223
WE CAN'T CON A 6-YEAR-OLD.
400
00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:43,790
YOU KNOW WHO WE CAN CON?
401
00:16:43,833 --> 00:16:45,661
THEIR PARENTS.
402
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:48,055
OKAY, SO, HARDISON,
YOU GET ON THAT LECTURE THING.
403
00:16:48,099 --> 00:16:49,274
ELIOT, YOU GET ON THE MOMMIES.
404
00:16:49,317 --> 00:16:51,015
AND HE DOESN'T MEAN THAT
LITERALLY.
405
00:16:51,058 --> 00:16:53,147
-THAT JOKE IS NEVER FUNNY.
-IT'S ALWAYS FUNNY.
406
00:16:53,191 --> 00:16:55,802
NO. IT'S NOT, HARDISON.
COMEDY'S ABOUT TIMING,
AND YOU DON'T HAVE IT!
407
00:16:55,845 --> 00:16:57,543
DO WE REALLY THINK PARENTS
ARE GONNA BITE ON THIS?
408
00:16:57,586 --> 00:16:59,284
UH, YEAH. WHAT DO YOU THINK
PARENTS ARE MOST AFRAID OF?
409
00:16:59,327 --> 00:17:00,415
-CLOWNS.
-NO.
410
00:17:00,459 --> 00:17:02,548
-EVIL CLOWNS?
-NO, PARKER.
411
00:17:02,591 --> 00:17:04,854
CRAZY CLOWNS CALLED
GeeGee WHO WHISPER YOUR
NAME FROM UNDER YOUR BED?
412
00:17:04,898 --> 00:17:06,726
NO. NO, PARENTS ARE MOST AFRAID
THAT THEIR KIDS
413
00:17:06,769 --> 00:17:08,684
AREN'T GONNA BE SUCCESSFUL --
THAT THEY'RE SOMEHOW
414
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,208
NOT GONNA BE ABLE
TO COMPETE WITH OTHER KIDS.
415
00:17:10,251 --> 00:17:11,687
THEY'RE GONNA BE LEFT BEHIND --
416
00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:13,472
THAT'SWHAT
THEY'RE MOST AFRAID OF.
417
00:17:13,515 --> 00:17:15,691
SO, WE PITCH THE DOLL
AS A DEVELOPMENTAL TOOL,
418
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:18,651
AND THE CHILD USES IT
TO ACCESS THEIR EMOTIONS
419
00:17:18,694 --> 00:17:20,348
AND BECOME MORE SOCIALLY AWARE.
420
00:17:20,392 --> 00:17:21,697
ABSOLUTELY. THIS IS GONNA WORK.
AND IF THEY DON'T BUY IT,
421
00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:23,177
THEY RUN THE RISK
OF THE KID BEING A MISFIT
422
00:17:23,221 --> 00:17:24,961
AND LIVING IN THE BASEMENT
UNTIL HE'S 40.
423
00:17:25,005 --> 00:17:27,573
WE NEED A NAME FOR THE NEW
TOY -- AND A GOOD NAME. UHH...
424
00:17:27,616 --> 00:17:28,878
NOT CRAZY GeeGee.
425
00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:30,010
UH, NO. UMM...
426
00:17:30,054 --> 00:17:32,839
BABY FEELS-A-LOT.
427
00:17:32,882 --> 00:17:34,797
WAIT -- WAIT, WHAT? WHAT?
428
00:17:34,841 --> 00:17:36,364
"BABY FEELS-A-LOT."
429
00:17:36,408 --> 00:17:40,020
I FEEL A LOT. YOU FEEL A LOT.
WE ALL FEEL A LOT.
430
00:17:40,064 --> 00:17:42,196
AND IT'S OKAY TO FEEL A LOT,
431
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:46,374
AS LONG AS YOU
USE YOUR WORDS, RIGHT?
432
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:52,076
SOPHIE DEVEREAUX.
433
00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:53,903
ISN'T THIS...
I DON'T KNOW, WRONG --
434
00:17:53,947 --> 00:17:56,819
MESSING WITH CHRISTMAS PRESENTS,
PLAYING WITH PARENTS' FEARS?
435
00:17:56,863 --> 00:17:59,126
I MEAN, DON'T YOU FEEL
JUST A LITTLE BIT GUILTY
436
00:17:59,170 --> 00:18:00,127
GIVEN THE HOLIDAY?
437
00:18:00,171 --> 00:18:01,259
MM, NO.
438
00:18:01,302 --> 00:18:02,260
-I DO.
-WHY?
439
00:18:02,303 --> 00:18:04,131
BECAUSE.
440
00:18:04,175 --> 00:18:06,394
PARKER, WHY IS THAT PEOPLE GIVE
EACH OTHER CHRISTMAS PRESENTS?
441
00:18:06,438 --> 00:18:07,917
TO BE NICE.
442
00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:09,571
NO, BECAUSE
THEY'RE BEING PROGRAMMED
443
00:18:09,615 --> 00:18:11,878
BY THESE GIANT CORPORATIONS
THAT DO ALL THIS RESEARCH
444
00:18:11,921 --> 00:18:14,489
TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUSH THESE
PSYCHOLOGICAL BUTTONS IN PEOPLE
445
00:18:14,533 --> 00:18:16,274
TO MAKE THEM
GET THESE PRESENTS, RIGHT?
446
00:18:16,317 --> 00:18:18,189
MAKE NO MISTAKE,
WHAT WE'RE DOING
447
00:18:18,232 --> 00:18:20,887
IS WE'RE MANIPULATING FEARS
AND MAKING THESE TOYS,
448
00:18:20,930 --> 00:18:22,628
ALL OF IT.
449
00:18:22,671 --> 00:18:27,067
THIS -- THIS...IS CHRISTMAS.
450
00:18:28,068 --> 00:18:29,635
YEAH.
451
00:18:29,678 --> 00:18:30,984
LET'S GET TO WORK.
452
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:33,508
CHILDREN ARE UNABLE
TO COMMUNICATE
453
00:18:33,552 --> 00:18:35,336
THE WAY THEY ONCE DID.
454
00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:39,166
WE HAVE TAKEN AWAY THEIR NEED
FOR COGNITIVE THOUGHT PROCESS,
455
00:18:39,210 --> 00:18:41,908
THEIR YEARNING FOR COMMUNIQUé,
IF YOU WILL.
456
00:18:41,951 --> 00:18:45,390
BUT I'M HERE TO TELL YOU THAT
THAT IS ALL ABOUT TO CHANGE
457
00:18:45,433 --> 00:18:48,958
BECAUSE WE ARE BRINGING YOU
A NEW TOY TO THE MARKETPLACE.
458
00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:53,049
PLEASE ALLOW ME TO PRESENT
BABY FEELS-A-LOT.
459
00:18:53,093 --> 00:18:56,792
NOW CHILDREN WILL BE ABLE
TO ONCE AGAIN COMMUNICATE
460
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,620
ON A HUMANE LEVEL.
461
00:18:58,664 --> 00:19:02,494
THEY WILL BE ABLE TO LEARN HOW
TO BE EMOTIONALLY ARTICULATE.
462
00:19:02,537 --> 00:19:04,235
ARE THEY HAPPY?
463
00:19:04,278 --> 00:19:07,368
ARE THEY SAD? ARE THEY MAD?
464
00:19:07,412 --> 00:19:10,589
IT IS BECAUSE WE, AS ADULTS,
465
00:19:10,632 --> 00:19:15,202
KNOW THAT FUN
IS THE WORK OF CHILDHOOD,
466
00:19:15,246 --> 00:19:20,207
AND TOYS ARE THE TOOLS THAT
WE USE TO ACCOMPLISH THAT WORK.
467
00:19:20,251 --> 00:19:23,167
THANK YOU.
468
00:19:23,210 --> 00:19:24,472
ALL RIGHT, CUT.
469
00:19:24,516 --> 00:19:26,692
DUDE, HOW DO YOU
COME UP WITH THIS CRAP?
470
00:19:26,735 --> 00:19:29,173
I STUDIED
EARLY-CHILDHOOD DEVELOPMENT.
471
00:19:29,216 --> 00:19:30,565
LOOK, MAN, VIDEO'S DONE.
472
00:19:30,609 --> 00:19:32,306
I MAKE IT SEEM LIKE
I'M TALKING TO HUNDREDS,
473
00:19:32,350 --> 00:19:35,396
UPLOAD IT TO THE BLOGGER-MOM
SITES, WE'RE GOOD TO GO.
474
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:38,051
-DUDE, THE BLOGGER MOMS?
-YES, BLOGGER MOMS.
475
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:40,967
THEY TALK ABOUT PARENTHOOD,
SCHOOLS, LIFE AT HOME.
476
00:19:41,010 --> 00:19:43,796
LOOK, YOU GET ONE OF THESE SITES
TO ENDORSE YOU,
477
00:19:43,839 --> 00:19:45,972
YOUR TOY'S GONNA GO VIRAL --
TRUST ME.
478
00:19:46,015 --> 00:19:47,060
[ COMPUTER BEEPS ]
479
00:19:50,237 --> 00:19:52,239
-THAT'S A BLOGGER MOM?
-UH, CHARDONNAY MOM?
480
00:19:52,283 --> 00:19:54,023
YEAH, THAT'S
ALLIE STANBROOK, MAN.
481
00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:56,504
SHE RUNS ONE OF THE TOP
BLOGGER SITES IN THE NATION.
482
00:19:56,548 --> 00:19:59,028
SHE'S LOCAL, TOO -- PDX, BABY.
483
00:19:59,072 --> 00:20:00,247
[ KEYBOARD CLACKING ]
484
00:20:00,291 --> 00:20:02,206
ALL RIGHT, LOOK, LISTEN TO ME,
485
00:20:02,249 --> 00:20:04,338
IF I'M GONNA DO THIS,
ALL RIGHT, I WANT TO --
486
00:20:04,382 --> 00:20:05,470
I WANT TO BE TOUGH DAD.
487
00:20:05,513 --> 00:20:06,906
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? COOL DAD.
488
00:20:06,949 --> 00:20:08,386
JUST ENOUGH TO TURN HER HEAD.
489
00:20:08,429 --> 00:20:10,344
DON'T GO OVERBOARD ON THIS.
KEEP IT SIMPLE.
490
00:20:10,388 --> 00:20:13,173
YOU KNOW, SOMEONE WHO'S --
WHO'S NOT AFRAID TO MAKE A PB&J,
491
00:20:13,217 --> 00:20:15,828
OKAY, BUT STILL WANTS TO
GO OUT IN THE YARD, GET DIRTY,
492
00:20:15,871 --> 00:20:17,699
KICK THE SOCCER BALL AROUND
A LITTLE BIT --
493
00:20:17,743 --> 00:20:20,528
STRICT...BUT FAIR.
494
00:20:20,572 --> 00:20:25,098
AFTER MY WIFE PASSED,
IT WAS, UH...
495
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:32,148
IT WAS VERY TOUGH FOR ME AND MY
SON...DASHIEL...TO COMMUNICATE.
496
00:20:36,631 --> 00:20:40,853
BUT...THAT'S WHEN BABY
FEELS-A-LOT CAME INTO OUR LIVES.
497
00:20:40,896 --> 00:20:44,291
AND, YOU KNOW, LISTEN,
DON'T GET ME WRONG.
498
00:20:44,335 --> 00:20:46,206
I'M ONE OF THOSE DADS --
499
00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:48,687
I HAD A PROBLEM WITH MY SON
PLAYING WITH A DOLL.
500
00:20:48,730 --> 00:20:50,254
-[ CHUCKLING ]
-YEAH.
501
00:20:50,297 --> 00:20:53,953
BUT...I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING --
IT WORKED.
502
00:20:53,996 --> 00:20:55,868
WE WERE TALKING AGAIN.
503
00:20:55,911 --> 00:20:57,086
AWW.
504
00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:59,524
YOU KNOW,
WE WERE FATHER AND SON.
505
00:20:59,567 --> 00:21:03,310
AND I FELT THE DUTY --
I HAD TO GET THIS OUT THERE.
506
00:21:03,354 --> 00:21:07,836
I HAD TO LET THE OTHER DADS KNOW
WHAT THIS PRODUCT DID FOR US.
507
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:10,404
SO, I STARTED A BLOG.
[ LAUGHS ]
508
00:21:10,448 --> 00:21:12,232
OH, MY GOD.
509
00:21:12,276 --> 00:21:15,279
WELL, I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO BE LEFT ALONE. [ CHUCKLES ]
510
00:21:15,322 --> 00:21:18,282
I MEAN, AFTER MY DIVORCE,
I WAS UTTERLY GUTTED,
511
00:21:18,325 --> 00:21:21,241
WENT THROUGH
ALL THE STAGES OF GRIEF.
512
00:21:21,285 --> 00:21:23,069
IT'S WHAT LED ME
TO START BLOGGING.
513
00:21:23,112 --> 00:21:26,333
HANG IN THERE, OKAY?
514
00:21:26,377 --> 00:21:27,726
I WILL.
515
00:21:27,769 --> 00:21:30,294
HONESTLY, I THINK
WITH YOU HERE, ALLIE,
516
00:21:30,337 --> 00:21:32,905
I MIGHT JUST BE ABLE
TO HANG ON FOREVER.
517
00:21:32,948 --> 00:21:34,950
-AWW!
-AWW!
518
00:21:34,994 --> 00:21:36,735
-OH, CARL.
-OH.
519
00:21:36,778 --> 00:21:38,563
OH.
520
00:21:38,606 --> 00:21:40,434
WELL, NOT ONLY
DO YOU HAVE MY SUPPORT,
521
00:21:40,478 --> 00:21:43,132
BUT YOU HAVE THE SUPPORT OF
EVERY BLOGGER MOM IN THE STATE.
522
00:21:43,176 --> 00:21:44,917
OH, THANK YOU.
[ LAUGHS ]
523
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:45,961
LADIES?
524
00:21:50,531 --> 00:21:52,011
I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, LADY,
525
00:21:52,054 --> 00:21:53,926
BUT YOUR LATEST MOVE
WITH THAT DOLL,
526
00:21:53,969 --> 00:21:55,319
PLAYING THE SMART-BABY CARD?
527
00:21:55,362 --> 00:21:57,408
NICELY DONE...
528
00:21:57,451 --> 00:22:00,672
IF THIS WAS 2004.
529
00:22:00,715 --> 00:22:02,456
SMART BABIES
ARE SO EIGHT YEARS AGO.
530
00:22:05,198 --> 00:22:07,374
WELL-ADJUSTED CHILDREN
ARE SO TODAY.
531
00:22:07,418 --> 00:22:09,985
IN DALLAS LAST WEEK, FIREMEN
USED A BABY FEELS-A-LOT
532
00:22:10,029 --> 00:22:12,510
TO COAX A RUNAWAY CHILD
DOWN FROM A RADIO TOWER.
533
00:22:12,553 --> 00:22:16,557
DO YOUR TOYS SAVE LIVES,
MR. HAZLIT?
534
00:22:16,601 --> 00:22:19,168
-WELL, THAT IS ONE SMART BABY.
-HEY, TRENT.
535
00:22:19,212 --> 00:22:21,562
-LET'S TALK SHELVES.
-LET'S.
536
00:22:21,606 --> 00:22:23,912
OH, MR. BARTON. I'M SO SORRY.
537
00:22:23,956 --> 00:22:28,047
I JUST HAVE A FEW MINUTES
BEFORE MY 3:15 AT MATTEL.
538
00:22:28,090 --> 00:22:30,266
SO, IF YOU COULD POSSIBLY --
539
00:22:30,310 --> 00:22:33,748
[ Chuckling ] WELL...I DON'T
SUPPOSE OLD TRENT WOULD MIND,
540
00:22:33,792 --> 00:22:35,489
WOULD YOU, SON?
541
00:22:35,533 --> 00:22:37,535
I MEAN, LADIES FIRST.
542
00:22:39,928 --> 00:22:42,278
LADIES -- OF COURSE.
543
00:22:42,322 --> 00:22:44,890
OKAY, I'VE WRITTEN
THREE MONTHS' WORTH OF BLOGS
544
00:22:44,933 --> 00:22:46,935
FOR OUR SENSITIVE DAD
OVER HERE.
545
00:22:46,979 --> 00:22:49,068
I GOT PRICES FOR THE BRACES,
DASHIEL'S CHESS CLUB --
546
00:22:49,111 --> 00:22:51,070
YOU PUT IN THERE
THAT WE WENT TO THE SUPER BOWL?
547
00:22:51,113 --> 00:22:53,202
OH, YEAH, MAN. YEAH, YOU EVEN
MET SOME OF THE PLAYERS.
548
00:22:53,246 --> 00:22:55,422
NOW, WHAT I WAS THINKING --
TELL ME WHAT YOU FEEL.
549
00:22:55,466 --> 00:22:57,250
YOU GUYS GO ON, LIKE,
A ROAD TRIP CROSS-COUNTRY,
550
00:22:57,293 --> 00:22:59,165
YOU DO A TOUR,
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
551
00:22:59,208 --> 00:23:01,210
YEAH, YEAH. I LIKE THAT.
I LIKE THAT.
552
00:23:01,254 --> 00:23:02,516
OR -- AND I'M JUST GONNA
PUT THIS OUT THERE --
553
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,083
WHAT IF I TOOK HIM ON A TOUR
554
00:23:04,126 --> 00:23:05,867
OF ALL THE BALLPARKS
IN AMERICA, HARDISON, HUH?
555
00:23:05,911 --> 00:23:07,913
OR MAYBE TOOK HIM
TO THE OPERA OR THE MOON, HUH?
556
00:23:07,956 --> 00:23:09,393
A LITTLE SARCASM?
A LITTLE SARCASM?
557
00:23:09,436 --> 00:23:10,742
YOU KNOW, BELIEVABLE
FATHER-AND-SON STUFF!
558
00:23:10,785 --> 00:23:12,134
WILL YOU GUYS --
A LITTLE FOCUS, PLEASE.
559
00:23:12,178 --> 00:23:14,093
LOOK AT THE PICTURE
HE USED, MAN!
560
00:23:14,136 --> 00:23:15,790
HEY! HEY! EXCUSE ME, MAN.
561
00:23:15,834 --> 00:23:17,923
I'M SORRY IF THIS KIND OF
WRITING OPENS ME UP CREATIVELY.
562
00:23:17,966 --> 00:23:19,707
I'M USUALLY STUCK LOOKING
AT BINARY CODES ALL DAY.
563
00:23:19,751 --> 00:23:22,493
MAYBE I WAS WRITING THE FATHER
THAT I WANTED ONE DAY, OKAY?
564
00:23:22,536 --> 00:23:25,409
M-- WHAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH
GETTING EMOTIONALLY BUTT NAKED?
565
00:23:25,452 --> 00:23:27,019
-WHOA.
-OH, PLEASE, DON'T.
566
00:23:27,062 --> 00:23:28,673
I'M JUST TRYING
TO SHARE MY FEELINGS ON PAPER.
567
00:23:28,716 --> 00:23:30,414
WE DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT.
NO, PLEASE. PLEASE, DON'T.
568
00:23:30,457 --> 00:23:32,067
NOW, LISTEN, HARDISON,
569
00:23:32,111 --> 00:23:33,504
I'M VERY HAPPY WITH
YOUR CREATIVITY AND EVERYTHING,
570
00:23:33,547 --> 00:23:35,419
BUT WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS,
WHAT DO YOU HAVE
571
00:23:35,462 --> 00:23:36,463
ON THE BLOGGER MOMS ABOUT ELIOT?
572
00:23:36,507 --> 00:23:37,856
OH, WHAT DID THE MAMAS SAY?
573
00:23:37,899 --> 00:23:40,989
OH, WHAT ARE THEY SAYING
ABOUT THE SENSITIVE DAD?
574
00:23:41,033 --> 00:23:42,600
[ KEYBOARD CLACKING ]
575
00:23:42,643 --> 00:23:44,297
I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.
I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOUR ASS.
576
00:23:44,340 --> 00:23:46,952
BOOM. CHARDONNAY MAMA.
SHE CUTE, THOUGH.
577
00:23:46,995 --> 00:23:48,562
-AIN'T SHE FINE?
-SHE IS.
578
00:23:48,606 --> 00:23:49,998
LOOK WHAT SHE SAYS.
579
00:23:50,042 --> 00:23:51,739
[ High-pitched ] "OH, THIS WEEK,
I WAS INTRODUCED
580
00:23:51,783 --> 00:23:53,611
"TO AN AMAZING NEW TOY
CALLED BABY FEELS-A-LOT,
581
00:23:53,654 --> 00:23:55,439
"THANKS TO A GENTLEMAN
WHO COULDN'T BE A MORE KIND,
582
00:23:55,482 --> 00:23:58,529
MORE HANDSOME, OR
MORE SENSITIVE SINGLE DAD."
583
00:23:58,572 --> 00:24:00,139
YOU DON'T DESERVE NONE OF THAT.
584
00:24:00,182 --> 00:24:01,836
NOW, HOW ARE WE DOING
WITH THE TOY'S POPULARITY?
585
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:03,751
SATURATION INDEXES ARE TICKING
UP 'CAUSE I DID MY JOB.
586
00:24:03,795 --> 00:24:05,274
[ COMPUTER BEEPS ]
ALL RIGHT.
587
00:24:05,318 --> 00:24:06,754
SOPHIE, WHAT'S HAZLIT UP TO?
588
00:24:06,798 --> 00:24:07,842
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
589
00:24:07,886 --> 00:24:09,409
WELL, IF YOU'RE REALLY SERIOUS,
590
00:24:09,453 --> 00:24:11,803
I MEAN, OUR NEXT RETREAT'S
GONNA BE IN TAHOE.
591
00:24:11,846 --> 00:24:13,848
OH, TAHOE -- COUNT ME IN.
592
00:24:13,892 --> 00:24:15,371
[ CHUCKLES ]
DON'T TEASE ME, GIL.
593
00:24:15,415 --> 00:24:16,938
I AM SO FLATTERED
THAT YOU ASKED ME.
594
00:24:16,982 --> 00:24:18,940
-EXCUSE ME, SIR?
-[ CHUCKLES ]
595
00:24:18,984 --> 00:24:20,507
OH, EXCUSE ME, MIMI.
596
00:24:20,551 --> 00:24:23,205
IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY
DEAL MEMO I HAD TO SIGN.
597
00:24:23,249 --> 00:24:24,555
OH, NO PROBLEM, GIL.
598
00:24:24,598 --> 00:24:27,471
IT'S BEEN SUCH A PLEASURE
TALKING TO YOU.
599
00:24:27,514 --> 00:24:30,561
NEXT YEAR, YOU AND ME --
KITE SURFING, TAHOE.
600
00:24:30,604 --> 00:24:31,649
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
601
00:24:31,692 --> 00:24:33,651
-TAHOE? GREAT.
-[ SIGHS ]
602
00:24:33,694 --> 00:24:35,653
WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?
603
00:24:35,696 --> 00:24:37,350
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
604
00:24:37,393 --> 00:24:39,265
IT'S ALL OVER THE EXPO.
LITTLE MISS HIGH HEELS THERE
605
00:24:39,308 --> 00:24:41,006
IS BIDDING
ON THE PREMIUM SHELF SPACE --
606
00:24:41,049 --> 00:24:42,573
DAYS BEFORE
MY CHUBBY SNUBBY LAUNCH.
607
00:24:42,616 --> 00:24:45,140
I DON'T THINK
I LIKE YOUR TONE, TRENT.
608
00:24:45,184 --> 00:24:46,490
I'LL CALL YOU LATER.
609
00:24:46,533 --> 00:24:48,753
YOU HAVE MY NUMBER.
610
00:24:48,796 --> 00:24:50,406
I GOT YOURS.
611
00:24:52,974 --> 00:24:54,889
-HI.
-MERRY CHRISTMAS!
612
00:24:54,933 --> 00:24:58,066
MERRY -- OHH, YOU'RE GRUMPY.
[ CHUCKLES ]
613
00:24:58,110 --> 00:25:00,155
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
614
00:25:00,199 --> 00:25:03,985
A LITTLE WORRIED, MR. HAZLIT?
615
00:25:04,029 --> 00:25:06,727
[ CHUCKLES ] 1989.
616
00:25:06,771 --> 00:25:08,599
"1989"?
617
00:25:08,642 --> 00:25:11,645
25 MACHETED CONTRAS WANTING
TO GUT ME NAVEL-TO-CHIN
618
00:25:11,689 --> 00:25:14,692
IN THE HONDURAN RAIN FOREST --
THEN, I WAS WORRIED.
619
00:25:14,735 --> 00:25:16,258
THIS? THIS IS NOTHING.
620
00:25:16,302 --> 00:25:18,696
BUT I EARNED
THE CONTRAS' RESPECT,
621
00:25:18,739 --> 00:25:20,524
AND THEY TAUGHT ME ONE THING.
622
00:25:20,567 --> 00:25:22,395
I'M ALL EARS.
623
00:25:22,438 --> 00:25:23,875
"PLATA O PLOMO."
624
00:25:23,918 --> 00:25:26,530
"SILVER OR LEAD."
625
00:25:26,573 --> 00:25:28,183
EXACTLY.
626
00:25:28,227 --> 00:25:32,187
TAKE A BRIBE, THE SILVER,
OR YOU GET A BULLET, THE LEAD.
627
00:25:32,231 --> 00:25:34,886
THOSE ARE GONNA BE BARTON'S
OPTIONS IN THE NEXT FEW MINUTES.
628
00:25:34,929 --> 00:25:38,890
BEHIND DOOR NUMBER ONE --
$80,000 IN CASH.
629
00:25:38,933 --> 00:25:42,894
TAKE A PEEK INSIDE
FOR THE LEAD.
630
00:25:45,723 --> 00:25:48,595
PICTURES OF BARTON'S
LAST TRIP TO CABO --
631
00:25:48,639 --> 00:25:50,641
PICTURES THE MISSUS
DOESN'T WANT TO SEE.
632
00:25:50,684 --> 00:25:53,426
WHICH DO YOU THINK
HE'S GONNA CHOOSE?
633
00:25:53,469 --> 00:25:56,037
YOU PLAY DIRTY, HAZLIT.
634
00:25:56,081 --> 00:25:58,083
WELL, YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
635
00:25:58,126 --> 00:26:01,869
AND WITHOUT JOYLANDIA,
YOUR BABY FEEL-ME-UP
636
00:26:01,913 --> 00:26:03,523
WITH ALL HER LITTLE FEELINGS
637
00:26:03,567 --> 00:26:06,091
THAT MAKE THE KIDDIES
SO EMOTIONALLY ARTICULATE --
638
00:26:06,134 --> 00:26:07,614
YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO IT?
639
00:26:07,658 --> 00:26:09,616
POOF. BYE-BYE.
640
00:26:11,749 --> 00:26:15,622
HAZLIT IS BLACKMAILING BARTON
TO TRY AND NIX MY SHELF SPACE.
641
00:26:15,666 --> 00:26:17,972
AND HE THINKS
IT'S TURNING ME ON.
642
00:26:18,016 --> 00:26:20,105
[ GAGS ]
THE GUY IS A MENACE.
643
00:26:20,148 --> 00:26:23,195
HE'S A MENACE.
SO, WE BECOME MORE OF A MENACE.
644
00:26:23,238 --> 00:26:24,805
HARDISON, HOW ARE WE ON SALES?
645
00:26:24,849 --> 00:26:27,503
UMM...
[ KEYBOARD CLACKS ]
646
00:26:27,547 --> 00:26:30,376
WELL, THE BLOGS IN SOPHIE'S
THEATER GROUP PIMP THE DEMAND,
647
00:26:30,419 --> 00:26:32,683
BUT THE PARENTS ARE BUYING 52%
OF THEIR HOLIDAY GIFTS
648
00:26:32,726 --> 00:26:34,467
ON THE INTERNET.
649
00:26:34,510 --> 00:26:37,165
OKAY, SO, WE HAVE TO UP BABY
FEELS-A-LOT'S ONLINE APPEAL.
650
00:26:37,209 --> 00:26:38,645
-YEAH, PRESALES.
-YES.
651
00:26:38,689 --> 00:26:39,777
AND THEN WHEN THE SALES
GO THROUGH THE ROOF,
652
00:26:39,820 --> 00:26:41,692
HAZLIT IS GONNA WANT TO BUY IN.
653
00:26:41,735 --> 00:26:44,869
SO, WE SET UP A MEETING
WITH HIM AND THE OWNER OF...
654
00:26:44,912 --> 00:26:47,175
LUCKY BEANS TOYS.
655
00:26:47,219 --> 00:26:48,220
YES, ME.
656
00:26:48,263 --> 00:26:50,439
-ALL RIGHT.
-WHAT?
657
00:26:50,483 --> 00:26:52,833
NOTHING.
658
00:26:52,877 --> 00:26:54,705
OKAY?
659
00:26:56,968 --> 00:26:59,840
WELL, IT'S JUST...
I WAS TALKING TO PARKER,
660
00:26:59,884 --> 00:27:01,407
AND, I MEAN, WE'RE A LITTLE DOWN
ABOUT CHRISTMAS.
661
00:27:01,450 --> 00:27:02,843
WE THINK...WE'RE...
662
00:27:02,887 --> 00:27:05,150
KIND OF RUINING THE HOLIDAY
OR SOMETHING.
663
00:27:05,193 --> 00:27:07,369
HARDISON,
CHRISTMAS WAS PRE-RUINED.
664
00:27:07,413 --> 00:27:09,371
YOU KNOW HOW IT BEGAN?
665
00:27:09,415 --> 00:27:11,373
[ GASPS ] NO. SHH.
666
00:27:11,417 --> 00:27:13,201
YEAH, IT WAS A FAT GUY
IN A CHIMNEY.
667
00:27:13,245 --> 00:27:14,855
CHRISTMAS BEGAN AS A PAGAN,
PRE-ROMAN FEAST
668
00:27:14,899 --> 00:27:17,379
INVOLVING THE SACRIFICE
OF CHILDREN.
669
00:27:18,729 --> 00:27:20,339
HO-HO-HO.
670
00:27:20,382 --> 00:27:22,907
IS HE SERIOUS?
671
00:27:24,517 --> 00:27:26,519
I MEAN, DANG, I FEEL LIKE
I JUST GOT SUCKER-PUNCHED
672
00:27:26,562 --> 00:27:27,912
BY AN ELF-HATING,
SCROOGE-LOVING,
673
00:27:27,955 --> 00:27:29,870
NO-GIFT-GIVING ANTI-CLAUS.
674
00:27:29,914 --> 00:27:33,613
I MEAN, AM I BLEEDING?
675
00:27:33,657 --> 00:27:35,136
LITTLE BIT.
676
00:27:36,529 --> 00:27:40,489
SIR, THIS BABY FEELS-A-LOT CRAZE
ISN'T GOING AWAY.
677
00:27:40,533 --> 00:27:42,100
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WE KILLED IT.
678
00:27:42,143 --> 00:27:44,232
WELL, THE TOY'S GENERATING
SO MUCH BUZZ
679
00:27:44,276 --> 00:27:47,758
THAT IT'S ALREADY RANKED 5th ON
THE NPD CHARTS FOR WEB PRESALES.
680
00:27:47,801 --> 00:27:49,194
AHEAD OF CHUBBY SNUBBY?
681
00:27:49,237 --> 00:27:51,109
TWO DAYS MAX
BEFORE IT HITS THE TOP SPOT.
682
00:27:51,152 --> 00:27:52,937
PEOPLE ARE PRE-ORDERING IT
LIKE CRAZY,
683
00:27:52,980 --> 00:27:55,243
AND IT HASN'T EVEN HIT
A SINGLE STORE SHELF YET.
684
00:27:55,287 --> 00:27:56,462
IT'S JUST GONE VIRAL, BOSS.
685
00:27:58,029 --> 00:28:01,989
I WANT A SIT-DOWN WITH THIS
BABY FEELS-SO-HOT WOMAN,
686
00:28:02,033 --> 00:28:03,512
AND I WANT IT NOW.
687
00:28:03,556 --> 00:28:05,950
GO.
688
00:28:09,170 --> 00:28:12,652
SO, YOU TAKE AWAY
BABY FEELS-A-LOT'S SHELF SPACE
689
00:28:12,696 --> 00:28:14,306
AND THEN TAKE ME OUT FOR DRINKS.
690
00:28:14,349 --> 00:28:16,090
[ CLICKS TONGUE ]
691
00:28:16,134 --> 00:28:18,440
MAYBE I WAS WRONG...
692
00:28:18,484 --> 00:28:20,747
UNDERESTIMATING
BABY FEELS-A-LOT.
693
00:28:20,791 --> 00:28:21,748
OH?
694
00:28:21,792 --> 00:28:23,532
I'M A SENSIBLE BUSINESSMAN.
695
00:28:23,576 --> 00:28:25,056
LET ME MEET THE OWNER.
696
00:28:25,099 --> 00:28:26,666
YOU BE MY BACK CHANNEL.
697
00:28:26,710 --> 00:28:29,364
MAYBE YOU AND I CAN...
DO BUSINESS.
698
00:28:29,408 --> 00:28:31,062
WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?
699
00:28:31,105 --> 00:28:34,761
YOU MAKE A MOVE ON BABY
FEELS-A-LOT, I'M OUT OF A JOB.
700
00:28:34,805 --> 00:28:37,372
QUARTER-POINT OF THE GROSS
ON THE DEAL --
701
00:28:37,416 --> 00:28:40,114
COMPENSATES YOU WELL.
702
00:28:40,158 --> 00:28:44,379
ENTICING, BUT...I HAVE TO
WARN YOU ABOUT EARL GREIPAL,
703
00:28:44,423 --> 00:28:46,468
THE OWNER OF LUCKY BEANS.
704
00:28:46,512 --> 00:28:50,037
HE'S -- WELL, LET'S SAY
HE'S SOMEWHAT ECCENTRIC,
705
00:28:50,081 --> 00:28:53,475
AND HE'S VERY HOSTILE
TO SELLING HIS COMPANY.
706
00:28:53,519 --> 00:28:55,347
MOST OF THESE INDIE TOY GUYS
ARE FRIGGING NUTS --
707
00:28:55,390 --> 00:28:57,088
THAT IS, UNTIL THEY SEE
THE NUMBER OF ZEROES
708
00:28:57,131 --> 00:28:58,742
I PUT ON A CHECK.
709
00:28:58,785 --> 00:29:00,787
HALF A POINT OF THE GROSS,
$21K AS A FINDER'S FEE,
710
00:29:00,831 --> 00:29:05,313
AND A V.P. POSITION AT POGGIO
TOYS -- THAT'S WHAT I WANT.
711
00:29:05,357 --> 00:29:07,794
GOD, YOU'RE GOOD.
712
00:29:09,187 --> 00:29:10,492
DEAL.
713
00:29:10,536 --> 00:29:14,496
BY THE WAY, YOU AVAILABLE?
714
00:29:14,540 --> 00:29:16,281
NO, I'M MARRIED.
715
00:29:16,324 --> 00:29:19,675
YOU SEE,
I DIDN'T ASK YOU THAT.
716
00:29:19,719 --> 00:29:24,506
LET'S STICK TO BUSINESS
FOR NOW, TRENT.
717
00:29:30,208 --> 00:29:32,079
"FOR NOW."
718
00:29:32,123 --> 00:29:34,299
[ CHUCKLES ]
719
00:29:37,041 --> 00:29:39,521
HAZLIT'S ON THE HOOK
FOR BABY FEELS-A-LOT.
720
00:29:39,565 --> 00:29:40,740
DAMN, GIRL,
YOU WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG.
721
00:29:40,784 --> 00:29:42,524
THAT TOY DOES HAVE LEGS.
722
00:29:42,568 --> 00:29:44,831
[ LAUGHS ] AND YOU DOUBTED ME
JUST LIKE THE REST OF THEM.
723
00:29:44,875 --> 00:29:46,485
ME? NO.
724
00:29:46,528 --> 00:29:48,792
I WOULD -- I WOULDN'T DO THAT.
725
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:51,403
[ Cellphone speed-dials ]
726
00:29:51,446 --> 00:29:53,405
MM-HMM. YEP.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
727
00:29:53,448 --> 00:29:54,841
HELLO. LUCKY BEAN TOYS?
728
00:29:54,885 --> 00:29:57,322
THIS IS CHARLOTTE GERRARD,
FIRE CHIEF.
729
00:29:57,365 --> 00:30:00,368
OUR MACHINES
DETECTED A SEVERE GAS LEAK
730
00:30:00,412 --> 00:30:02,631
IN ONE OF YOUR
COMPANY BUILDINGS.
731
00:30:02,675 --> 00:30:05,243
YES, THAT'S THE ONE --
THE ONE YOU HAVE.
732
00:30:05,286 --> 00:30:06,722
THAT COMPANY BUILDING.
733
00:30:06,766 --> 00:30:08,202
YES.
734
00:30:08,246 --> 00:30:11,466
YES, YOU NEED TO EVACUATE
EVERYONE IMMEDIATELY.
735
00:30:11,510 --> 00:30:12,859
I SAID "EVERYONE"!
736
00:30:12,903 --> 00:30:14,295
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
737
00:30:14,339 --> 00:30:17,124
-THINK THAT'LL DO IT?
-YEAH, IT SHOULD.
738
00:30:17,168 --> 00:30:19,431
YEAH. I THINK I SCARED HER
A LITTLE BIT. DID YOU JUMP?
739
00:30:19,474 --> 00:30:20,562
-YOU SCARED ME.
-JUMPY.
740
00:30:28,962 --> 00:30:31,225
WELL, WHILE I'M BAFFLED --
741
00:30:31,269 --> 00:30:35,055
DELIGHTED BY THE SUDDEN INTEREST
IN MY TOY,
742
00:30:35,099 --> 00:30:39,059
MONEY IS NOT WHY I DESIGNED
BABY FEELS-A-LOT.
743
00:30:39,103 --> 00:30:40,756
NO.
744
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:44,673
I DID IT FOR MY SON,
NESTOR, YES...
745
00:30:44,717 --> 00:30:47,502
WHO IS NOW IN FEDERAL PRISON.
746
00:30:47,546 --> 00:30:48,503
OH?
747
00:30:48,547 --> 00:30:50,375
YES, IT WAS A NASTY EPISODE
748
00:30:50,418 --> 00:30:52,377
INVOLVING HORSES
AND MEN FROM TACOMA.
749
00:30:52,420 --> 00:30:56,685
DOCTORS ATTRIBUTE IT TO
NESTOR'S DIFFICULTY GROWING UP,
750
00:30:56,729 --> 00:31:00,167
HAVING EMOTIONS,
FRUSTRATION, ANGER ISSUES.
751
00:31:00,211 --> 00:31:02,866
-I SEE.
-MR. GREIPAL HAS OFTEN SAID
752
00:31:02,909 --> 00:31:06,521
THAT HE WISHED THAT THERE HAD
BEEN A TOY LIKE BABY FEELS-A-LOT
753
00:31:06,565 --> 00:31:08,828
DURING NESTOR'S
DEVELOPMENTAL YEARS.
754
00:31:08,872 --> 00:31:11,700
I WISH THERE HAD BEEN A TOY
LIKE BABY FEELS-A-LOT
755
00:31:11,744 --> 00:31:15,574
DURING NESTOR'S
DEVELOPMENTAL YEARS.
756
00:31:15,617 --> 00:31:17,706
AH, DIFFERENT TIMES.
757
00:31:17,750 --> 00:31:20,361
SO, MR. HAZLIT,
YOU KNOW, EXPERTS --
758
00:31:20,405 --> 00:31:23,321
THEY CAN LOOK AT DATA
OR COLOR SCHEMATICS
759
00:31:23,364 --> 00:31:26,802
ABOUT WHAT CHILDREN
SUPPOSEDLY LIKE OR DON'T LIKE.
760
00:31:26,846 --> 00:31:30,154
BUT REALLY WHAT THEY SHOULD DO
IS THEY SHOULD...
761
00:31:30,197 --> 00:31:33,940
THEY SHOULD LOOK INSIDE
AT THE CHILD INSIDE THEMSELVES.
762
00:31:33,984 --> 00:31:38,162
THAT'S WHAT WE INTEND TO DO WITH
BABY FEELS-A-LOT, MR. GREIPAL.
763
00:31:38,205 --> 00:31:40,860
WE HAVE AN EXCELLENT
TRACK RECORD --
764
00:31:40,904 --> 00:31:43,732
YES, OKAY,
BUT THE CHILD WITHIN ME
765
00:31:43,776 --> 00:31:46,735
IS SAYING THAT
WHAT YOU INTEND TO DO
766
00:31:46,779 --> 00:31:49,564
IS SHIP NESTOR'S TOY
OFF TO CHINA
767
00:31:49,608 --> 00:31:53,699
AND TURN IT INTO SOME SORT
OF EMOTIONAL ABOMINATION.
768
00:31:53,742 --> 00:31:55,919
YOU HAVEN'T HEARD MY OFFER.
769
00:31:55,962 --> 00:32:00,227
WELL, I'M AFRAID THAT NO MATTER
HOW GENEROUS YOUR OFFER IS...
770
00:32:02,969 --> 00:32:05,276
...THE ANSWER IS NO.
771
00:32:08,496 --> 00:32:11,935
OKAY. FINE.
772
00:32:11,978 --> 00:32:13,284
[ SIGHS ]
773
00:32:13,327 --> 00:32:14,981
YOU ASK ME, GEPPETTO IN THERE
774
00:32:15,025 --> 00:32:17,418
WANTS TO NAVEL-GAZE
FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS,
775
00:32:17,462 --> 00:32:19,029
NOT SELL HIS COMPANY.
776
00:32:19,072 --> 00:32:22,293
LOOK, YOU MAKE A VERY FAST,
VERY LARGE OFFER
777
00:32:22,336 --> 00:32:26,514
BEFORE THIS CRAZE GOES NUTS,
AND I PROMISE YOU HE'LL BITE.
778
00:32:26,558 --> 00:32:29,300
HE'S ODD, YES,
BUT HE'S NOT STUPID.
779
00:32:29,343 --> 00:32:33,739
I KNOW THAT YOU CORPORATE GUYS
LIKE TO MOVE SLOWLY, YOU KNOW,
780
00:32:33,782 --> 00:32:36,611
WHILE LAWYERS
POKE AROUND FOR MONTHS,
781
00:32:36,655 --> 00:32:40,311
BUT IF GREIPAL GETS HINKY,
THIS THING IS ALL OVER.
782
00:32:40,354 --> 00:32:43,053
GIVE ME THE SAMPLE
OF THE TOY.
783
00:32:43,096 --> 00:32:44,706
I WANT TO RUN A SAFETY STUDY.
784
00:32:44,750 --> 00:32:46,621
WELL, DON'T WE JUST FUDGE
THE SAFETY NUMBERS DOWN THE ROAD
785
00:32:46,665 --> 00:32:47,927
IF WE HAVE TO?
786
00:32:47,971 --> 00:32:51,887
OHH, WE COULD BE
SO GREAT TOGETHER.
787
00:32:51,931 --> 00:32:55,587
I'LL OVERNIGHT AN EXPEDITED
STUDY -- MY COMPANY'S LICENSE.
788
00:32:55,630 --> 00:32:58,111
WHATEVER THE RESULTS, CALL ME
TOMORROW WITH GREIPAL'S PRICE.
789
00:32:58,155 --> 00:32:59,591
[ SIGHS ]
790
00:32:59,634 --> 00:33:04,770
I'LL BE AS GENTLE
AS IF I WAS HOLDING YOUR --
791
00:33:04,813 --> 00:33:07,251
DON'T...SAY IT.
792
00:33:08,513 --> 00:33:10,384
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
793
00:33:18,392 --> 00:33:20,481
I NEED THIS EXPEDITED A.S.A.P.
794
00:33:20,525 --> 00:33:23,136
TELL WIGGINS
IT'S FOR TRENT HAZLIT,
795
00:33:23,180 --> 00:33:26,400
AND I WANT THE 12-HOUR
TURNAROUND FOR POGGIO.
796
00:33:26,444 --> 00:33:29,142
MANUFACTURING LICENSE
AND MEDALLION?
797
00:33:29,186 --> 00:33:33,016
IT'S ALL...RIGHT IN THERE.
798
00:33:37,498 --> 00:33:39,152
HAZLIT?
799
00:33:39,196 --> 00:33:40,849
-MM?
-GOOD NEWS.
800
00:33:40,893 --> 00:33:42,764
I HAVE A FIGURE FOR YOU.
801
00:33:42,808 --> 00:33:44,201
HE WAS A BIT HESITANT
AT FIRST, BUT I --
802
00:33:44,244 --> 00:33:45,985
LET ME STOP YOU.
I HAVE NO INTEREST
803
00:33:46,029 --> 00:33:48,074
IN BUYING THE DOLL
OR MR. GREIPAL'S COMPANY.
804
00:33:48,118 --> 00:33:49,554
-WHY NOT?
-ONLY REASON I DID
805
00:33:49,597 --> 00:33:51,686
THE SAFETY STUDY
WAS TO GET THE TOY'S SPECS.
806
00:33:51,730 --> 00:33:52,992
WHAT FOR?
807
00:33:53,036 --> 00:33:54,602
TO RELEASE A KNOCK-OFF
THAT'LL UNDERCUT
808
00:33:54,646 --> 00:33:56,387
THE BABY FEELS-A-LOT'S
PRICE POINT BY 40%.
809
00:33:56,430 --> 00:34:02,175
IN FACT, I PLAN TO MENTION
BABY HAPPY MAD -- NICE, HUH? --
810
00:34:02,219 --> 00:34:04,786
THIS AFTERNOON
AT MY PRESS CONFERENCE
811
00:34:04,830 --> 00:34:06,310
FOR CHUBBY SNUBBY DOG.
812
00:34:06,353 --> 00:34:08,225
SO, THANKS FOR THE FREE BUZZ.
813
00:34:08,268 --> 00:34:10,923
YOUR KNOCK-OFF
WILL NEVER REPLACE
814
00:34:10,966 --> 00:34:12,881
THE REAL BABY FEELS-A-LOT.
815
00:34:12,925 --> 00:34:15,058
LISTEN, DARLING...
816
00:34:15,101 --> 00:34:18,844
I GOT THREE FLOORS
OF HIGHLY PAID FUNGINEERS
817
00:34:18,887 --> 00:34:22,326
WHO ARE ALREADY AMPING UP THE
HAPPINESS FACTOR ON THAT DOLL
818
00:34:22,369 --> 00:34:23,979
LIKE YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE.
819
00:34:24,023 --> 00:34:27,113
MR. GREIPAL MIGHT MAKE TOYS
WITH LOVE ON THE INSIDE,
820
00:34:27,157 --> 00:34:30,160
BUT MINE ARE MADE
WITH PETROLEUM-BASED PLASTICS
821
00:34:30,203 --> 00:34:33,424
AND THE BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS
OF THIRD-WORLD 11-YEAR-OLDS.
822
00:34:33,467 --> 00:34:34,947
YOU CAN'T BEAT IT.
823
00:34:34,990 --> 00:34:38,211
SO, COME ON, HELP ME CELEBRATE.
824
00:34:38,255 --> 00:34:39,952
YOU ARE A --
825
00:34:39,995 --> 00:34:43,782
THE MALE VERSION OF YOU.
826
00:34:43,825 --> 00:34:45,305
COME ON.
827
00:34:45,349 --> 00:34:49,048
WHO DOESN'T DREAM
OF DATING THEMSELVES, RIGHT?
828
00:34:49,092 --> 00:34:51,572
[ SIGHS ]
829
00:34:58,449 --> 00:35:01,321
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
830
00:35:02,279 --> 00:35:06,065
"CHUBBY SNUBBY IS THE FUTURE
OF OUR COMPANY."
831
00:35:06,109 --> 00:35:08,154
"CHUBBY SNUBBY IS THE FUTURE
OF OUR COMPANY."
832
00:35:08,198 --> 00:35:10,069
CAN YOU FEEL THE ENERGY
OUT THERE, SIR?
833
00:35:10,113 --> 00:35:12,158
THIS IS GONNA BE BIG.
"THE ENERGY OUT THERE."
834
00:35:12,202 --> 00:35:13,768
IT'S NOT ABOUT THE ENERGY
OUT THERE.
835
00:35:13,812 --> 00:35:15,292
IT'S ABOUT THE ENERGY IN HERE.
836
00:35:15,335 --> 00:35:18,338
-THIS IS ABOUT TRENT HAZLIT.
-OH, RIGHT, RIGHT.
837
00:35:18,382 --> 00:35:20,949
SO, GO OUT THERE AND GIVE THEM
A BIG, OLD BAG OF TRENT.
838
00:35:20,993 --> 00:35:22,212
[ CHUCKLES ]
839
00:35:22,255 --> 00:35:24,170
SHUT UP.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
840
00:35:24,214 --> 00:35:26,041
THERE HE IS.
MR. HAZLIT! MR. HAZLIT!
841
00:35:26,085 --> 00:35:28,479
I'LL TAKE QUESTIONS
AFTER THE LAUNCH CELEBRATION.
842
00:35:28,522 --> 00:35:30,829
SO, YOU'RE TREATING
THIS CHUBBY SNUBBY TOY DOG
843
00:35:30,872 --> 00:35:32,874
RECALL AS A CELEBRATION?
844
00:35:32,918 --> 00:35:34,615
RECALL?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
845
00:35:34,659 --> 00:35:36,095
WELL, SURELY THERE WILL BE
A RECALL AFTER THE GOVERNMENT
846
00:35:36,139 --> 00:35:38,358
RELEASED THE FAILED SAFETY STUDY
THIS MORNING.
847
00:35:38,402 --> 00:35:40,099
GOVERNMENT?
[ FEEDBACK SQUEALS ]
848
00:35:40,143 --> 00:35:42,406
I NEVER SUBMITTED ANY STUDY
TO THE GOVERNMENT.
849
00:35:42,449 --> 00:35:44,625
I NEED THIS EXPEDITED A.S.A.P.
850
00:35:44,669 --> 00:35:47,367
TELL WIGGINS
IT'S FOR TRENT HAZLIT,
851
00:35:47,411 --> 00:35:50,718
AND I WANT THE 12-HOUR
TURNAROUND FOR POGGIO.
852
00:35:50,762 --> 00:35:53,504
MANUFACTURING LICENSE
AND MEDALLION?
853
00:35:53,547 --> 00:35:57,595
IT'S ALL...RIGHT IN THERE.
854
00:36:01,686 --> 00:36:04,079
WANT TO KNOW WHO REGULATES
TOY SAFETY IN THIS COUNTRY?
855
00:36:04,123 --> 00:36:06,299
-THE TOY COMPANIES.
-WHAT ABOUT GOVERNMENT?
856
00:36:06,343 --> 00:36:09,650
CONSUMER PRODUCT SAFETY
COMMISSION. THEY TRY.
857
00:36:09,694 --> 00:36:11,478
THEY'RE A SOLID
GOVERNMENT AGENCY,
858
00:36:11,522 --> 00:36:13,611
BUT SAFETY STUDIES
ARE VOLUNTARY,
859
00:36:13,654 --> 00:36:16,004
SO CERTAIN COMPANIES
JUST WON'T TAKE THAT RISK
860
00:36:16,048 --> 00:36:17,963
BECAUSE IF A TOY
IS FOUND HAZARDOUS,
861
00:36:18,006 --> 00:36:19,399
THEY HAVE TO MAKE IT PUBLIC.
862
00:36:20,661 --> 00:36:21,662
-CAN I HELP YOU?
-HI.
863
00:36:21,706 --> 00:36:22,924
I NEED AN EXPEDITED, OVERNIGHT
864
00:36:22,968 --> 00:36:24,491
GOVERNMENT SAFETY INSPECTION
OF THIS.
865
00:36:24,535 --> 00:36:25,710
MM-HMM.
866
00:36:25,753 --> 00:36:27,929
RELEVANT FORMS,
MY SIGNATURE.
867
00:36:27,973 --> 00:36:30,018
AND MAKE SURE TO RUN IT
THROUGH YOUR STRICTEST,
868
00:36:30,062 --> 00:36:31,890
MOST RIGOROUS TESTS.
869
00:36:31,933 --> 00:36:33,021
OKAY.
870
00:36:40,812 --> 00:36:43,075
[ INDISTINCT TALKING ]
871
00:36:43,118 --> 00:36:44,511
EVERYTHING OKAY, CARL?
872
00:36:44,555 --> 00:36:46,252
YOUR CALL SOUNDED LIKE
SOMETHING WAS WRONG.
873
00:36:46,296 --> 00:36:48,211
NO, ACTUALLY, A FAN OF MINE
SENT ME THIS SAFETY STUDY,
874
00:36:48,254 --> 00:36:49,647
AND I FIND IT VERY ALARMING.
875
00:36:49,690 --> 00:36:51,736
I THINK THAT WE SHOULD
GET THIS OUT THERE,
876
00:36:51,779 --> 00:36:53,868
AND WE SHOULD LET
THE PARENTS KNOW ABOUT IT.
877
00:36:53,912 --> 00:36:55,827
IS THERE ANY WAY THAT YOU COULD,
UH, MAYBE HELP ME WITH THAT?
878
00:36:55,870 --> 00:36:57,611
-OH, MY GOD.
-YEAH.
879
00:36:57,655 --> 00:37:00,092
OKAY.
WE ARE SOALL OVER THIS.
880
00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:03,269
-OKAY. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
-MM.
881
00:37:05,750 --> 00:37:07,186
WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?
882
00:37:07,230 --> 00:37:08,666
DO YOU CARE TO COMMENT
ON THE RECALL, SIR?
883
00:37:08,709 --> 00:37:09,971
NO, I DON'T CARE TO COMMENT.
884
00:37:10,015 --> 00:37:12,278
I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT HAPPENED HERE.
885
00:37:12,322 --> 00:37:13,453
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
886
00:37:13,497 --> 00:37:16,674
I AM GONNA SUE YOUR ASS,
HAZLIT!
887
00:37:19,154 --> 00:37:21,592
WHO DID THIS TO ME?
888
00:37:42,569 --> 00:37:44,963
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID IT.
889
00:37:45,006 --> 00:37:47,966
I WISH THERE WERE MORE PEOPLE
LIKE YOU OUT THERE.
890
00:37:48,009 --> 00:37:50,055
-YOU DID IT, MR. MARRIS.
-YEAH.
891
00:37:50,098 --> 00:37:52,013
WITHOUT YOU,
HAZLIT WOULD STILL BE AROUND.
892
00:37:52,057 --> 00:37:53,624
I WAS JUST DOING MY JOB.
893
00:37:53,667 --> 00:37:55,190
WELL, SPEAKING OF JOBS,
894
00:37:55,234 --> 00:37:58,237
THE CHIEF EXAMINER'S
LOOKING FOR A NEW ANALYST.
895
00:37:58,281 --> 00:37:59,586
CHIEF EXAMINER?
896
00:37:59,630 --> 00:38:01,545
FOR THE CONSUMER PRODUCT
SAFETY COMMISSION.
897
00:38:01,588 --> 00:38:03,503
WHEN HE FOUND OUT
THAT HE COULD HIRE THE GUY
898
00:38:03,547 --> 00:38:05,810
THAT TOOK DOWN HAZLIT,
HE JUMPED AT IT.
899
00:38:05,853 --> 00:38:08,552
I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
[ LAUGHS ]
900
00:38:08,595 --> 00:38:10,380
[ Laughing ]
I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH.
901
00:38:10,423 --> 00:38:13,470
W-- MERRY CHRISTMAS.
902
00:38:15,123 --> 00:38:17,909
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
903
00:38:17,952 --> 00:38:20,477
PROMISE ME THOSE THINGS
WILL NEVER HIT STORE SHELVES.
904
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:22,392
NAH, I'M KEEPING THEM
ALL TO MYSELF.
905
00:38:22,435 --> 00:38:24,350
I'VE GOT THEM LINED UP
IN MY WAREHOUSE
906
00:38:24,394 --> 00:38:25,786
LIKE AN ARMY OF JOY AND RAGE.
907
00:38:25,830 --> 00:38:28,746
YOU DON'T EVER WANT TO BE
IN THAT WAREHOUSE ALONE.
908
00:38:28,789 --> 00:38:30,530
[ CHUCKLES ] EVER.
909
00:38:30,574 --> 00:38:34,795
I THINK IT'S REALLY SAD THAT
WE'RE SO CYNICAL ABOUT GIFTS.
910
00:38:34,839 --> 00:38:38,712
I USED TO [SIGHS]
I LOVED CHRISTMAS AS A CHILD.
911
00:38:38,756 --> 00:38:40,366
YEAH, WELL,
NOTHING'S GENUINE ANYMORE.
912
00:38:40,410 --> 00:38:42,412
THAT'S NOT TRUE. NO.
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS.
913
00:38:42,455 --> 00:38:46,372
AND YOU KNOW WHAT IS GENUINE?
TRUST.
914
00:38:46,416 --> 00:38:47,504
-TRUST?
-YES, TRUST.
915
00:38:47,547 --> 00:38:48,766
[ CHUCKLES ]
916
00:38:48,809 --> 00:38:50,594
I THINK -- NO, SERIOUSLY.
917
00:38:50,637 --> 00:38:54,685
I THINK WE SHOULD GIVE EACH
OTHER SOME TRUST FOR CHRISTMAS.
918
00:38:54,728 --> 00:38:56,121
WHAT, LIKE THAT WILLOW EXERCISE
919
00:38:56,164 --> 00:38:57,383
WHERE YOU FALL BACK
AND SOMEONE CATCHES YOU?
920
00:38:57,427 --> 00:38:59,037
NO, NOT LIKE THAT.
921
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:01,126
GOOD, BECAUSE I DID THAT ONCE,
AND I DROPPED THE PERSON,
922
00:39:01,169 --> 00:39:02,257
AND THEY HAD TO GET STITCHES.
923
00:39:02,301 --> 00:39:03,258
STILL HURTS.
924
00:39:03,302 --> 00:39:05,130
I KNOW.
925
00:39:05,173 --> 00:39:06,653
I JUST THINK THAT, WELL,
926
00:39:06,697 --> 00:39:08,742
WE'VE BEEN THROUGH
SO MUCH TOGETHER, ALL OF US,
927
00:39:08,786 --> 00:39:10,788
AND WE SHOULD GIVE
EACH OTHER SOMETHING
REALLY PERSONAL THIS YEAR,
928
00:39:10,831 --> 00:39:15,706
LIKE, UM, I DON'T KNOW,
A STORY OR A SECRET.
929
00:39:15,749 --> 00:39:17,185
-NO, COME ON.
-[ CLEARS THROAT ]
930
00:39:17,229 --> 00:39:19,753
BEAR WITH ME, PLEASE. PLEASE.
931
00:39:19,797 --> 00:39:21,364
WHO'S GONNA GO FIRST?
932
00:39:22,974 --> 00:39:24,410
ELIOT.
933
00:39:24,454 --> 00:39:27,370
ALL RIGHT.
934
00:39:27,413 --> 00:39:30,068
WHEN I WAS A KID...
935
00:39:30,111 --> 00:39:32,375
I WANTED A TRUMPET
ONE CHRISTMAS.
936
00:39:32,418 --> 00:39:35,378
[ SIGHS ]
937
00:39:35,421 --> 00:39:38,032
MY FATHER PLAYED SINATRA
ALL THE TIME,
938
00:39:38,076 --> 00:39:41,949
AND SINATRA HAD THIS TRUMPET
PLAYER NAMED "SWEETS" EDISON --
939
00:39:41,993 --> 00:39:45,300
HARRY "SWEETS" EDISON.
GREAT SOUND -- AMAZING.
940
00:39:45,344 --> 00:39:47,825
I WANTED TO SOUND JUST LIKE HIM,
YOU KNOW?
941
00:39:47,868 --> 00:39:51,132
CHRISTMAS ROLLED AROUND, AND,
UH, THERE WAS NO TRUMPET --
942
00:39:51,176 --> 00:39:53,352
JUST A PACK OF,
UH, BASEBALL CARDS.
943
00:39:53,396 --> 00:39:55,136
WELL, MY FATHER SAID THAT SANTA
944
00:39:55,180 --> 00:39:57,661
MUST HAVE HAD
A ROUGH YEAR AT THE TRACK.
945
00:39:57,704 --> 00:39:58,749
SO, THERE'S...
946
00:39:58,792 --> 00:40:00,794
ANYWAY, A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER,
947
00:40:00,838 --> 00:40:04,189
I WAKE UP IN MY BED,
AND AT THE FOOT OF THE BED IS --
948
00:40:04,232 --> 00:40:05,538
IS A TRUMPET.
949
00:40:05,582 --> 00:40:07,975
I MEAN, IT'S ALL TARNISHED
AND DINGED UP --
950
00:40:08,019 --> 00:40:13,981
MY DAD PROBABLY ROLLED SOMEBODY
FOR IT, BUT THERE IT IS.
951
00:40:14,025 --> 00:40:20,640
AND I, UH, I PLAYED THAT TRUMPET
EVERY DAY FOR 10 YEARS.
952
00:40:20,684 --> 00:40:22,337
YOU KNOW, I NEVER --
953
00:40:22,381 --> 00:40:26,516
I NEVER, UH, ENDED UP SOUNDING
LIKE "SWEETS" EDISON,
954
00:40:26,559 --> 00:40:28,996
BUT...
955
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,695
SO, I GAVE IT TO, UM,
956
00:40:31,738 --> 00:40:35,089
I GAVE IT TO SAM...
957
00:40:35,133 --> 00:40:38,353
ON HIS 8th BIRTHDAY.
958
00:40:41,139 --> 00:40:43,924
AND THAT WAS, UM...
959
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:51,497
HIS, UM, FIRST TRUMPET LESSON
WAS SCHEDULED FOR THE DAY,
960
00:40:51,541 --> 00:40:55,675
AS IT TURNS OUT, THAT
HE WENT INTO THE HOSPITAL.
961
00:40:55,719 --> 00:40:58,809
AND I -- SO, HE...
962
00:41:04,249 --> 00:41:08,079
I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING LEFT...
963
00:41:08,122 --> 00:41:11,082
FROM MY CHILDHOOD,
BUT I DID KEEP THE TRUMPET.
964
00:41:11,125 --> 00:41:13,998
I KEEP IT ON THE BOAT.
965
00:41:23,355 --> 00:41:25,052
OKAY, WHO'S NEXT?
966
00:41:25,096 --> 00:41:26,227
[ SLURPS ]
967
00:41:26,271 --> 00:41:29,056
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
68245
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