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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,969 --> 00:00:09,971 [ CLOCK TICKING ] 2 00:00:14,062 --> 00:00:15,933 [ COMPUTER BEEPS ] 3 00:00:15,977 --> 00:00:18,066 [ KEYBOARD CLACKING ] 4 00:00:18,110 --> 00:00:19,546 [ COMPUTER BEEPS ] 5 00:00:19,589 --> 00:00:21,243 [ CLACKING CONTINUES ] 6 00:00:21,287 --> 00:00:22,766 [ COMPUTER BEEPS ] 7 00:00:22,810 --> 00:00:26,031 [ ALARM BLARING ] 8 00:00:26,074 --> 00:00:29,295 [ CLOCK TICKING ] 9 00:00:29,338 --> 00:00:32,472 [ KEYPAD BEEPS ] 10 00:00:39,218 --> 00:00:41,568 All units, please respond to a possible intruder 11 00:00:41,611 --> 00:00:42,917 in the Research Department. 12 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,527 [ BLARING CONTINUES ] 13 00:00:54,146 --> 00:00:56,104 THIS PRODUCT IS THE RESULT 14 00:00:56,148 --> 00:00:59,107 OF YEARS OF RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT. 15 00:00:59,151 --> 00:01:00,717 EVERYONE AT THE COMPANY 16 00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:03,851 IS CONVINCED THE STOCK PRICE IS GOING TO SOAR. 17 00:01:03,894 --> 00:01:05,766 [ CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING ] 18 00:01:09,422 --> 00:01:10,727 A TOY? 19 00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:12,207 CHUBBY SNUBBY. 20 00:01:12,251 --> 00:01:14,427 I WAS THE EXEC OVERSEEING ITS SAFETY REPORT, 21 00:01:14,470 --> 00:01:17,821 WHICH CAME BACK WITH A LEVEL THREE CHOKING HAZARD RATING. 22 00:01:17,865 --> 00:01:21,390 BUT I REFUSED TO COOK THE BOOKS, SO HAZLIT FIRED ME. 23 00:01:21,434 --> 00:01:22,739 HAZLIT? 24 00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:24,741 TRENT HAZLIT, C.E.O. OF POGGIO TOYS. 25 00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:27,092 AND HE'S NOT WORRIED ABOUT LAWSUITS? 26 00:01:27,135 --> 00:01:29,703 HAZLIT DOES COST-BENEFITS FOR EVERYTHING. 27 00:01:29,746 --> 00:01:32,401 AND THE DEATHS OF A FEW KIDS IS AN ACCEPTABLE RISK 28 00:01:32,445 --> 00:01:33,663 IN THE NAME OF PROFIT. 29 00:01:33,707 --> 00:01:35,100 WELL, HE IS AWFULLY CUTE. 30 00:01:35,143 --> 00:01:37,319 NOT SO CUTE WHEN A KID SWALLOWS ITS NOSE 31 00:01:37,363 --> 00:01:39,887 AND IT SWELLS UP TO THE SIZE OF A POMEGRANATE. 32 00:01:39,930 --> 00:01:41,497 HAZLIT BURIED THE CHUBBY SNUBBY REPORT 33 00:01:41,541 --> 00:01:43,064 SO HE COULD LAUNCH BEFORE CHRISTMAS. 34 00:01:43,108 --> 00:01:45,240 ALL THE TOYS ARE AT RETAIL WAREHOUSES 35 00:01:45,284 --> 00:01:48,200 WAITING FOR THE ANNOUNCEMENT AT THE PACIFIC TOY EXPO. 36 00:01:48,243 --> 00:01:51,072 WE'RE LOOKING AT A TICKING BOMB. 37 00:01:51,116 --> 00:01:55,120 DON'T LET THIS THING HIT THE MARKET, MR. FORD -- PLEASE. 38 00:01:57,470 --> 00:01:59,080 [ COMPUTER BEEPS ] 39 00:01:59,124 --> 00:02:03,650 TRENT HAZLIT -- C.E.O. OF GLOBAL TOY GIANT POGGIO TOYS. 40 00:02:03,693 --> 00:02:06,696 NOW, THE DAYS OF THE COLORFUL FAMILY TOY EXEC ARE LONG GONE. 41 00:02:06,740 --> 00:02:09,264 NOWADAYS, COMPANIES BRING IN THESE WALL STREET WOLVERINES 42 00:02:09,308 --> 00:02:11,266 WHO COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT KIDS ORTOYS. 43 00:02:11,310 --> 00:02:13,703 ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS BRANDING AND STOCK GROWTH. 44 00:02:13,747 --> 00:02:15,183 WELL, WHERE'D HAZLIT COME FROM? 45 00:02:15,227 --> 00:02:16,793 -ONE GUESS. -SANTA'S WORKSHOP. 46 00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:18,404 -NO. [ CHUCKLES ] -DOUGHNUTS. 47 00:02:18,447 --> 00:02:20,232 NO. AND THAT'S TWO GUESSES. STOP PLAYING. 48 00:02:20,275 --> 00:02:22,321 HE COMES FROM DEFENSE CONTRACTING. 49 00:02:22,364 --> 00:02:25,976 20 YEARS AGO, HE WAS SELLING RPGs AND ANTI-AIRCRAFT WEAPONRY 50 00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:27,326 TO BOTH LATIN-AMERICAN DICTATORS 51 00:02:27,369 --> 00:02:28,979 AND THE REBEL GROUPS THAT OPPOSED THEM. 52 00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:30,807 -I HATE ARMS DEALERS. -YEAH. 53 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:33,114 NOW, NINE YEARS AGO, HE TAKES OVER POGGIO TOYS, 54 00:02:33,158 --> 00:02:35,203 MOVES THE MANUFACTURING OVERSEAS, 55 00:02:35,247 --> 00:02:36,813 HE LOWERED SAFETY STANDARDS, 56 00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:38,902 AND HE BURIED CLASS-ACTION SUITS. 57 00:02:38,946 --> 00:02:40,556 OKAY, UH, WHAT'S SECURITY LIKE? 58 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,863 HE'S USING THE SAME M.O. AS HE DID WHEN HE SOLD WEAPONS. 59 00:02:42,906 --> 00:02:44,604 HE'S USING DOUBLE-WALLED ROOMS. 60 00:02:44,647 --> 00:02:46,823 HE'S LOCKING AWAY TOY DESIGNS AT THE END OF EVERY SHIFT. 61 00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:47,998 HE'S CHANGING CODES DAILY. 62 00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:49,652 UH, SAFETY REPORT? 63 00:02:49,696 --> 00:02:51,524 IT'S DIGITAL. IT'S KEPT IN A SPECIAL SERVER, 64 00:02:51,567 --> 00:02:53,047 WHICH IS LOCKED IN A SPECIAL SAFE, 65 00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,701 WHICH IS HELD IN A SPECIAL SERVER ROOM. 66 00:02:54,744 --> 00:02:56,790 -PARKER? -A BOYLAN-KIM 53-11. 67 00:02:56,833 --> 00:02:59,227 JUST HAVE TO DRILL IT -- NO PROBLEM. 68 00:02:59,271 --> 00:03:01,925 OKAY, SO, WE'LL STEAL THE SAFETY REPORT, 69 00:03:01,969 --> 00:03:03,231 RELEASE IT TO THE PUBLIC, 70 00:03:03,275 --> 00:03:04,928 THEN HAZLIT IS GONNA HAVE TO SPIKE 71 00:03:04,972 --> 00:03:07,322 THE CHUBBY SNUBBY DOG LAUNCH. 72 00:03:07,366 --> 00:03:10,717 LET'S DO IT. 73 00:03:15,765 --> 00:03:18,203 [ SIGHS ] 74 00:03:21,771 --> 00:03:23,556 I-I'M SAYING THAT WE -- 75 00:03:23,599 --> 00:03:25,471 UH, I THINK WE WENT OVERBOARD ON CHRISTMAS GIFTS LAST YEAR. 76 00:03:25,514 --> 00:03:27,255 [ SIGHS ] 77 00:03:27,299 --> 00:03:29,126 NATE, I LOVE MY ECOSSE MOTORCYCLE 78 00:03:29,170 --> 00:03:33,174 FROM LAST CHRISTMAS -- COMPLIMENTS OF MY SANTA-BABY. 79 00:03:33,218 --> 00:03:34,306 [ DRILL WHIRRING ] 80 00:03:35,220 --> 00:03:38,353 YOU SPENT $100,000 ON A MOTORCYCLE? 81 00:03:38,397 --> 00:03:41,487 DON'T HATE THE GIFT. HATE THE ELF. 82 00:03:41,530 --> 00:03:43,315 I DOHATE THE ELF. 83 00:03:43,358 --> 00:03:44,707 [ WHIRRING CONTINUES, STOPS ] 84 00:03:44,751 --> 00:03:46,231 SO, ARE YOU SAYING 85 00:03:46,274 --> 00:03:47,928 [EXHALES SHARPLY] NO CHRISTMAS PRESENTS AT ALL? 86 00:03:47,971 --> 00:03:49,059 NOT EVEN SOMETHING SMALL? 87 00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:50,539 NO GIFTS. 88 00:03:50,583 --> 00:03:52,367 But [scoffs] 89 00:03:52,411 --> 00:03:55,327 HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO CHRISTMAS WITHOUT ANY PRESENTS? 90 00:03:55,370 --> 00:03:57,242 Let's just put a limit on spending. 91 00:03:57,285 --> 00:03:58,939 SAY...$1,000 A-- 92 00:03:58,982 --> 00:04:00,680 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 93 00:04:00,723 --> 00:04:03,683 -$100 A-- -[ CLEARS THROAT ] 94 00:04:03,726 --> 00:04:06,381 -50 BUCKS A PERSON. -MM. 95 00:04:08,078 --> 00:04:10,516 FINE, WHATEVER. 96 00:04:10,559 --> 00:04:12,605 [ DIAL CLICKING ] 97 00:04:16,609 --> 00:04:18,393 [ DOOR OPENS ] 98 00:04:20,352 --> 00:04:22,179 I'M IN. 99 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:34,453 [ BEEPING ] 100 00:04:37,282 --> 00:04:40,807 [ CELLPHONE BEEPING ] 101 00:04:40,850 --> 00:04:43,157 OKAY. DOWNLOADING NOW. 102 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,812 AND...I GOT IT. 103 00:04:45,855 --> 00:04:50,077 THREE MINUTES TO SEAL UP, AND HE'LL NEVER KNOW WE WERE HERE. 104 00:04:55,865 --> 00:04:58,433 YEAH, HE DOCTORED THE DATA. 105 00:04:58,477 --> 00:05:00,957 AND THE AMERICAN SAFETY ASSOCIATION OF PEDIATRICIANS 106 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,219 IS GIVING IT FIVE STARS! 107 00:05:02,263 --> 00:05:03,786 YEAH, I THOUGHT THAT WAS WEIRD. 108 00:05:03,830 --> 00:05:05,397 YEAH, THEY'RE A BUNCH OF RETIRED DOCTORS 109 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,399 BASED OUT OF GUAM WITH NO STANDING IN THE BUSINESS. 110 00:05:07,442 --> 00:05:09,226 I'M SURE THEY'RE ON HAZLIT'S PAYROLL. 111 00:05:09,270 --> 00:05:10,924 SHOULDN'T SOMEBODY BE REGULATING THIS STUFF? 112 00:05:10,967 --> 00:05:12,665 WANT TO KNOW WHO REGULATES TOY SAFETY IN THIS COUNTRY? 113 00:05:12,708 --> 00:05:13,796 THE TOY COMPANIES. 114 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:17,322 WHAT ABOUT GOVERNMENT? 115 00:05:17,365 --> 00:05:19,628 CONSUMER PRODUCT SAFETY COMMISSION. THEY TRY. 116 00:05:19,672 --> 00:05:21,456 THEY'RE A SOLID GOVERNMENT AGENCY, 117 00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:23,589 BUT SAFETY STUDIES ARE VOLUNTARY, 118 00:05:23,632 --> 00:05:26,026 SO CERTAIN COMPANIES JUST WON'T TAKE THAT RISK 119 00:05:26,069 --> 00:05:27,984 BECAUSE IF A TOY IS FOUND HAZARDOUS, 120 00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:29,421 THEY HAVE TO MAKE IT PUBLIC. 121 00:05:29,464 --> 00:05:31,161 YEAH, UNLESS YOU BUY SOME DOCTORS IN GUAM. 122 00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:33,250 I APPRECIATE YOU TRYING. 123 00:05:33,294 --> 00:05:34,513 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 124 00:05:34,556 --> 00:05:36,471 MR. MARRIS, LISTEN -- THIS ISN'T OVER. 125 00:05:36,515 --> 00:05:38,081 IT ISN'T. 126 00:05:38,125 --> 00:05:40,519 NOW, WE ARE NOT GONNA LET THAT TOY GET RELEASED. 127 00:05:40,562 --> 00:05:42,869 I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE UP AGAINST. 128 00:05:42,912 --> 00:05:45,828 TRENT HAZLIT IS A CORPORATE HITMAN -- 129 00:05:45,872 --> 00:05:47,830 HE'S CAPABLE OF ANYTHING. 130 00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:55,011 YOU REALIZE THAT WITHOUT THAT SAFETY STUDY, WE GOT NOTHING. 131 00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,099 -YEAH. -MM-HMM. 132 00:05:56,143 --> 00:05:57,623 SO, WHY'D YOU PROMISE HIM THAT? 133 00:05:57,666 --> 00:06:00,669 BECAUSE WE ARE NOT GONNA LET THAT TOY GET RELEASED. 134 00:06:00,713 --> 00:06:03,237 WE'RE GONNA STEAL CHRISTMAS. 135 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,717 NO, THE TROJAN HORSE WON'T WORK. 136 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,632 WE'D HAVE TO SELL HAZLIT A TOY COMPANY 137 00:06:06,675 --> 00:06:08,416 SO FILLED WITH FINANCIAL LIABILITY 138 00:06:08,460 --> 00:06:11,114 THAT IT BANKRUPTS HIM BEFORE THE LAUNCH OF CHUBBY SNUBBY. 139 00:06:11,158 --> 00:06:13,334 EXACTLY. WE JUST BAIT HIM WITH A NEW HIT TOY. 140 00:06:13,378 --> 00:06:14,814 BUT THE LAUNCH IS IN THREE DAYS. 141 00:06:14,857 --> 00:06:17,033 WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO CREATE A WHOLE NEW TOY. 142 00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:19,601 AH, THAT'S WHY HARDISON IS FINDING US SOME FAILED TOYS 143 00:06:19,645 --> 00:06:20,776 THAT ALREADY EXIST. 144 00:06:20,820 --> 00:06:22,604 YEAH, THIS IS SECOND RUN OF FUN. 145 00:06:22,648 --> 00:06:24,693 IT'S A THIRD-PARTY TOY DISTRIBUTOR 146 00:06:24,737 --> 00:06:27,392 THAT SELLS FAILED TOYS TO BOLIVIA AND THE SUDAN IN BULK. 147 00:06:27,435 --> 00:06:29,916 THEY ALSO SELL THOSE SUPER BOWL "LOSER" T-SHIRTS. 148 00:06:29,959 --> 00:06:33,354 NOW, CHECK THIS OUT -- THEY GOT TSA SECURITY SCREENER, 149 00:06:33,398 --> 00:06:37,184 WHIRLIE-GLEE-GLEE, HOMELESS MOTHER AND DAUGHTER DOLL SET. 150 00:06:37,227 --> 00:06:38,620 THESE ARE TOYS. 151 00:06:38,664 --> 00:06:40,840 AND THIS IS MY FAVORITE -- SIR BOAT-A-LOT. 152 00:06:40,883 --> 00:06:43,582 YOU PULL HIS ARM, AND HE GIVES YOU A SAILING TIP. 153 00:06:43,625 --> 00:06:46,062 GO BACK, UH, TO THE TURNY THING. JUST -- 154 00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:47,499 -THE WHIRLIE-GLEE-GLEE? -YEAH. 155 00:06:47,542 --> 00:06:49,805 THIS THING WAS SUPPOSED TO DO FIGURE EIGHTS. 156 00:06:49,849 --> 00:06:51,198 IT BARELY DID A FIGURE ONE. 157 00:06:51,241 --> 00:06:52,504 SOLD 1,100 UNITS. 158 00:06:52,547 --> 00:06:55,202 I ACTUALLY THINK I HAD ONE AS A KID. 159 00:06:55,245 --> 00:06:57,465 WELL, IT'S BLAND ENOUGH TO SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS 160 00:06:57,509 --> 00:06:58,945 BUT QUIRKY ENOUGH TO SEEM NOVEL. 161 00:06:58,988 --> 00:07:00,816 SO, WE JUST HAVE TO GET THE KIDS TO GO CRAZY 162 00:07:00,860 --> 00:07:02,688 FOR A TOY THAT WAS ONCE CONSIDERED JUNK. 163 00:07:02,731 --> 00:07:04,298 MM. WELL, A TOY CRAZE IS LIKE A CON -- 164 00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:06,126 YOU JUST GOT TO CONVINCE SOMEONE THEY WANT SOMETHING 165 00:07:06,169 --> 00:07:07,475 THAT THEY DIDN'T KNOW THEY WANTED. 166 00:07:07,519 --> 00:07:09,129 IN THIS CASE, IT'S PRESCHOOLERS. 167 00:07:09,172 --> 00:07:10,783 SO, WHEN IS THIS THING SHIPPED TO AFRICA? 168 00:07:10,826 --> 00:07:12,785 IN 39 HOURS. 169 00:07:12,828 --> 00:07:14,482 OKAY, WELL, WE GOT TO GET OUR HANDS ON THE, UH -- THE, UH -- 170 00:07:14,526 --> 00:07:15,918 WHIRLIE-GLEE-GLEE? 171 00:07:15,962 --> 00:07:18,486 WHIRLIE-GLEE-GLEE BEFORE IT'S GONE-GONE. 172 00:07:18,530 --> 00:07:19,444 RIGHT. 173 00:07:30,237 --> 00:07:32,239 [ CLICK ] 174 00:07:52,825 --> 00:07:54,000 HMM. 175 00:08:03,705 --> 00:08:05,707 WHO IN THE HELL WOULD GIVE THIS THING TO A CHILD? 176 00:08:05,751 --> 00:08:07,100 IT'S NOT A THING. 177 00:08:07,143 --> 00:08:08,797 IT IS A DOLL, AND KIDS LOVE DOLLS. 178 00:08:08,841 --> 00:08:11,147 IT AIN'T NO DOLL. THAT'S SOME OLD, VOODOO WITCHCRAFT, 179 00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,758 AND I DON'T WANT IT UP IN LUCILLE. 180 00:08:12,801 --> 00:08:13,672 YOU KNOW WHAT? WHAT IF I SAID THAT ABOUT THE FLASHY KICKS 181 00:08:13,715 --> 00:08:15,238 YOU'VE BEEN GIVING ME LATELY? 182 00:08:15,282 --> 00:08:17,545 HEY, THEY ARE AWESOME. THEY MAKE YOU SHINY AND FAST. 183 00:08:17,589 --> 00:08:20,896 OKAY, THIS THING, NO KID SHOULD EVER BE SUBJECTED TO -- EVER. 184 00:08:20,940 --> 00:08:23,290 [ SIGHS ] 185 00:08:23,333 --> 00:08:24,770 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS, CELLPHONE BEEPS ] 186 00:08:24,813 --> 00:08:27,294 -Nate, you see this? -OH. 187 00:08:27,337 --> 00:08:29,601 GUYS, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT TOY PARKER PICKS. 188 00:08:29,644 --> 00:08:31,167 ANYTHING CAN BE SOLD. 189 00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:33,561 ELIOT'S RIGHT. IT'S JUST A MASS-MARKETING CON GAME, 190 00:08:33,605 --> 00:08:35,345 AND IT'S ABOUT CREATING WILDFIRE BUZZ 191 00:08:35,389 --> 00:08:38,261 LIKE THE MODERN-ART WORLD OR THE MOVIE BUSINESS. 192 00:08:38,305 --> 00:08:39,567 Any crappy product -- 193 00:08:39,611 --> 00:08:41,134 WHA-- BABY JOY RAGE IS NOT CRAPPY. 194 00:08:41,177 --> 00:08:43,049 -IT'S CRAPPY. -Any misunderstood product 195 00:08:43,092 --> 00:08:46,356 CAN MAKE BILLIONS AS LONG AS IT HAS THE RIGHT BUZZ. 196 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:49,534 WE JUST GOT TO GET THAT THING ON HAZLIT'S RADAR. 197 00:08:51,361 --> 00:08:55,583 J.I.C. SAYS THE KIDS WILL CLOCK THE MUTT IN AT 88.6% SATISFIED. 198 00:08:55,627 --> 00:08:57,803 -[ CHUCKLES ] -THE WHAT, SIR? 199 00:08:57,846 --> 00:09:00,806 THE J.I.C. -- JUBILATION INDEX CALCULATOR. 200 00:09:00,849 --> 00:09:01,937 NEW APP I DEVELOPED. 201 00:09:01,981 --> 00:09:03,591 JUST TAKE A PIC OF THE ITEM. 202 00:09:03,635 --> 00:09:06,115 BOOM -- THE THING REGISTERS THE TOY'S GROSS MARKET 203 00:09:06,159 --> 00:09:07,813 AND FRANCHISE POTENTIAL 204 00:09:07,856 --> 00:09:10,772 VIS-à-VIS THE KID'S HAND SIZE, AGE, AND ETHNICITY. 205 00:09:10,816 --> 00:09:14,210 88.6 IS 4 POINTS HIGHER THAN TRAMPY...WHAT'S-HER-FACE? 206 00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:15,951 -DAMSEL JUDY. -[ SIGHS ] 207 00:09:15,995 --> 00:09:19,607 STILL DON'T KNOW HOW DADS LET THEIR GIRLS NEAR THAT THING. 208 00:09:19,651 --> 00:09:21,261 BUT, HEY, THE LITTLE TRAMP 209 00:09:21,304 --> 00:09:24,046 EARNED US $24 MILLION LAST YEAR, RIGHT? 210 00:09:24,090 --> 00:09:27,441 HAZLIT HAS A VISE-GRIP ON RETAIL GIANT JOYLANDIA'S 211 00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:28,877 PREMIUM SHELF SPACE. 212 00:09:28,921 --> 00:09:30,618 COMPANIES FIGHT TO THE DEATH EACH YEAR 213 00:09:30,662 --> 00:09:32,315 FOR THE BEST SHELF SPACE IN STORES. 214 00:09:32,359 --> 00:09:34,796 AND THAT KIND OF CONTRACT GETS RE-UPPED HERE AT THIS EXPO. 215 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:36,842 ALL RIGHT, SOPHIE, YOU'RE THE NEW COMPETITION. 216 00:09:36,885 --> 00:09:39,453 GET THAT CONTRACT. 217 00:09:41,063 --> 00:09:44,110 END CAPS, ACTION ALLEYS, INTERACTIVE KIOSKS -- 218 00:09:44,153 --> 00:09:47,461 I WANT IT ALL BECAUSE THIS TOY IS GONNA BE MASSIVE. 219 00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:49,202 [ CHUCKLES ] 220 00:09:49,245 --> 00:09:52,074 YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MANY REPS TELL ME THAT, MISS...RONDER. 221 00:09:52,118 --> 00:09:55,208 WELL, UNLIKE THEM, I'M NOT GUESSING. 222 00:09:55,251 --> 00:09:59,038 I NEVER GUESS. I HAVE A 95% SELL-THROUGH RATE. 223 00:09:59,081 --> 00:10:03,651 LISTEN -- I'M TELLING YOU, THIS TOY IS A HIT. 224 00:10:03,695 --> 00:10:06,088 I'M STAYING AT THE LAMY. 225 00:10:06,132 --> 00:10:07,960 -OH! -OH, PARDON ME. 226 00:10:08,003 --> 00:10:09,657 EXCUSE ME. [ LAUGHS ] 227 00:10:09,701 --> 00:10:12,442 HEY. TRENT. HOW THE HELL ARE YOU? 228 00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:14,706 GOOD, GIL. WHO WAS THAT? 229 00:10:14,749 --> 00:10:16,403 OH, MIMI RONDER. 230 00:10:16,446 --> 00:10:19,798 NEW TOY REP WITH A TON OF CHARM -- 231 00:10:19,841 --> 00:10:22,539 AND A GREAT PAIR OF LEGS. 232 00:10:22,583 --> 00:10:25,064 SHE'S BIDDING ON JOYLANDIA'S PREMIUM SHELF SPACE? 233 00:10:25,107 --> 00:10:27,196 [ LAUGHS ] 234 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:30,330 YOU DON'T HAVE A THING TO WORRY ABOUT, TRENT, OLD BOY. 235 00:10:30,373 --> 00:10:32,767 YOU ALWAYS COME UP WITH THE HIGHEST BID. 236 00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,294 YOU KNOW HAZLIT'S JUST GONNA OUTBID US 237 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,514 -FOR THAT SHELF-SPACE PACKAGE. -AH, THAT'S FINE. 238 00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:42,342 THAT BID WAS JUST TO GET ON HIS RADAR. 239 00:10:42,385 --> 00:10:44,170 NOW COMES THE HARD PART -- 240 00:10:44,213 --> 00:10:48,130 GETTING THE KIDS OF AMERICA TO LOVE A TOY THEY NEVER WANTED. 241 00:10:48,174 --> 00:10:50,263 AH, WE JUST GOT TO FIND THE RIGHT PLACE 242 00:10:50,306 --> 00:10:51,917 TO START A VIRAL TOY CRAZE. 243 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,093 NOW, I RAN ALGORITHMS ON ALL THE PORTLAND ZIP CODES 244 00:10:54,136 --> 00:10:56,486 TO FIND THE MOST LIKELY NEXUS FOR A SOCIAL-BUZZ EPIDEMIC. 245 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:58,924 THESE HUB AGENTS ARE THE MOST INFLUENTIAL FAMILY AREAS. 246 00:10:58,967 --> 00:11:01,013 FAMILIES WHO START FADS. GOOD. 247 00:11:01,056 --> 00:11:04,494 RIGHT. NOW, THEY'RE ALL CONNECTED TO DIFFERENT GROUPS, 248 00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:06,235 BUT THEY HAVE ONE THING IN COMMON. 249 00:11:06,279 --> 00:11:07,280 [ COMPUTER BEEPS ] 250 00:11:07,323 --> 00:11:09,021 AH, A WEEKLY FARMER'S MARKET. 251 00:11:09,064 --> 00:11:11,284 SO, I FIGURE WE GO SET UP A BOOTH, 252 00:11:11,327 --> 00:11:13,852 -START A GRASSROOTS-TYPE CRAZE. -PERFECT. 253 00:11:13,895 --> 00:11:16,506 I GET A VENDOR'S LICENSE TO SELL THE TOY. 254 00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:17,943 -WE CAN -- -EHH, I DON'T THINK SO. 255 00:11:17,986 --> 00:11:21,816 SO...NO TO THE FARMER'S MARKET? 256 00:11:21,860 --> 00:11:24,253 YES TO THE FARMER'S MARKET. NO TO SELLING THE TOY THERE. 257 00:11:24,297 --> 00:11:26,429 -WE'RE NOT? -NO, WE'RE GONNA DO SOMETHING 258 00:11:26,473 --> 00:11:28,605 MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE THAN SELLING. 259 00:11:28,649 --> 00:11:30,825 THESE LOOK GREAT. 260 00:11:30,869 --> 00:11:32,740 THAT'S FINE. 261 00:11:34,829 --> 00:11:36,396 LOOK, IT'S HAPPY. 262 00:11:36,439 --> 00:11:38,572 AW, IT'S NOT SO HAPPY, BUT THEN IT'S HAPPY AGAIN. 263 00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:40,966 IT CHANGES MOODS. IT'S PRETTY COOL, RIGHT? 264 00:11:41,009 --> 00:11:43,272 NO? 265 00:11:43,316 --> 00:11:45,100 HEY! HERE, TAKE IT -- IT'S FREE. 266 00:11:45,144 --> 00:11:47,320 THANK YOU. 267 00:11:47,363 --> 00:11:48,713 TELL YOUR FRIENDS! 268 00:11:48,756 --> 00:11:50,584 FREE TOYS! YEAH! 269 00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,717 [ CHILDREN CHEERING ] 270 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:54,196 HEY, HEY. 271 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,721 [ Chuckling ] THERE YOU ARE. ALL RIGHT. HUH? 272 00:11:56,764 --> 00:11:58,984 THERE YOU GO, BUDDY. GOOD? 273 00:11:59,027 --> 00:12:01,334 NATE, IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. 274 00:12:01,377 --> 00:12:04,772 THE DRUG-DEALER APPROACH -- YOU FOR REAL? 275 00:12:04,816 --> 00:12:06,252 FIRST TASTE IS FREE. 276 00:12:06,295 --> 00:12:08,036 WORD SPREADS, KEEPS THEM COMING BACK FOR MORE. 277 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,299 NOW, WE GOT TO GET THAT TOY IN THE HANDS OF A TASTEMAKER. 278 00:12:10,343 --> 00:12:12,214 YOU KNOW, THE PEOPLE THAT TELL OTHER PEOPLE WHAT TO BUY. 279 00:12:12,258 --> 00:12:14,564 AND YOU KNOW WHO THE MOST INFLUENTIAL TASTEMAKERS ARE? 280 00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:15,609 CELEBRITIES. 281 00:12:16,871 --> 00:12:20,179 [ LAUGHS ] I GOT ONE. 282 00:12:20,222 --> 00:12:22,355 [ KEYBOARD CLACKING ] 283 00:12:22,398 --> 00:12:24,052 THIS IS PRE-TEEN SANDY MATTEO. 284 00:12:24,096 --> 00:12:26,794 SHE'S FROM THAT SHOW "SANDY'S SCHOOL TIMES." 285 00:12:26,838 --> 00:12:29,014 SHE'S GOT A MAJOR FAN BASE -- MAJOR. 286 00:12:29,057 --> 00:12:32,887 AN ENDORSEMENT FROM THIS GIRL'S GONNA GIVE US A TSUNAMI OF HYPE. 287 00:12:32,931 --> 00:12:34,759 WHAT? NO! THERE IS NO WAY. 288 00:12:34,802 --> 00:12:37,544 IT IS THREE POINTS ON THE GROSS, OR -- 289 00:12:37,587 --> 00:12:39,459 OKAY, OR I FIRE YOUR ASS -- 290 00:12:39,502 --> 00:12:41,287 THE HAROLD SHUCKERSAN AGENCY SHRIVELS UP AND DIES! 291 00:12:41,330 --> 00:12:42,418 [ PURSE THUDS ] 292 00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:43,811 [ SIGHS ] [ CELLPHONE BEEPS ] 293 00:12:43,855 --> 00:12:46,118 [ SIGHS ] WHERE THE HELL ARE MY CLOTHES?! 294 00:12:46,161 --> 00:12:49,556 IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND ANYTHING IN THESE GIANT TOTES, ISN'T IT? 295 00:12:49,599 --> 00:12:52,820 YOU KNOW, I ALMOST LOST MY SHIH TZU IN MINE. 296 00:12:52,864 --> 00:12:54,300 [ LAUGHS ] 297 00:12:54,343 --> 00:12:57,346 NO. NO, NO. THAT'S DISGUSTING. 298 00:12:57,390 --> 00:12:59,566 WHAT'S YOURS, HMM? A GUCCI? 299 00:12:59,609 --> 00:13:01,873 IT'S AN ORIGINAL ERIN WALTER -- NOT ON THE MARKET YET. 300 00:13:01,916 --> 00:13:02,874 OHH. 301 00:13:02,917 --> 00:13:04,658 YOU'RE SANDY MATTEO, RIGHT? 302 00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:08,618 YOU'RE MARVELOUS, DARLING! 303 00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:10,533 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ] 304 00:13:19,934 --> 00:13:22,894 SANDY MATTEO NOW LOVES AND ENDORSES BABY JOY RAGE. 305 00:13:22,937 --> 00:13:24,634 YOU KNOW WHAT, MAN? 306 00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:26,898 I COULD ACTUALLY MAKE A SECOND CAREER AS A PAPARAZZO. 307 00:13:26,941 --> 00:13:28,682 ALL RIGHT, GREAT. LET'S GET THAT ENDORSEMENT OUT THERE. 308 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,249 GOT YOU. I AM CURRENTLY EMBEDDING MATTEO'S PHOTOS 309 00:13:30,292 --> 00:13:31,903 ON 23 DIFFERENT SITES -- 310 00:13:31,946 --> 00:13:34,557 TEEN BLOG PAGES, GAME PORTALS, TOY BLOGS -- YOU NAME IT. 311 00:13:34,601 --> 00:13:36,603 I EVEN GOT CELEBRITIES TWEETING ABOUT IT. 312 00:13:36,646 --> 00:13:38,126 MAN, IF THERE IS A KID WHO DOES NOT KNOW 313 00:13:38,170 --> 00:13:39,649 WHAT THIS TOY IS BY NEXT WEEK, 314 00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:40,650 THEY'RE PROBABLY BEING HOMESCHOOLED SOMEWHERE 315 00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:41,651 UNDER A ROCK. 316 00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:42,914 OKAY, NEXT STEP IS SCARCITY. 317 00:13:42,957 --> 00:13:44,829 ALL RIGHT, WE GOT TO MAKE IT FEEL LIKE 318 00:13:44,872 --> 00:13:46,221 EVERY MOM AND DAD IN THE COUNTRY 319 00:13:46,265 --> 00:13:47,919 CAN'T GET THEIR HANDS ON THIS TOY. 320 00:13:47,962 --> 00:13:49,050 GOT IT. 321 00:13:49,094 --> 00:13:51,009 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ] 322 00:13:51,052 --> 00:13:54,577 I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU MIGHT, BY ANY CHANCE, 323 00:13:54,621 --> 00:13:59,495 HAVE ONE OF THOSE BABY JOY RAGE -- NO, "JOY RAGE." 324 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:00,888 IT'S A DOLL. 325 00:14:00,932 --> 00:14:02,150 OKAY. WELL, YEAH, I -- 326 00:14:02,194 --> 00:14:03,804 [ TELEPHONE CLICKS, DIAL TONE ] 327 00:14:03,848 --> 00:14:05,675 ZACHARY. I NEED MORE CONVICTION. 328 00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:07,242 WHAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING 329 00:14:07,286 --> 00:14:09,070 FOR AN ACTOR TO REMEMBER IN CHARACTER? 330 00:14:09,114 --> 00:14:11,464 -YOUR LINES. -NO -- DESIRE. 331 00:14:11,507 --> 00:14:13,248 WHAT DO YOU WANT, ZACHARY? 332 00:14:13,292 --> 00:14:14,597 WHAT DOES THE CHARACTER WANT? 333 00:14:14,641 --> 00:14:15,860 THE TOY. 334 00:14:15,903 --> 00:14:17,252 WHY DO YOU WANT IT, ZACHARY? 335 00:14:17,296 --> 00:14:19,341 -TO MAKE MY CHILD HAPPY? -NO. 336 00:14:19,385 --> 00:14:20,777 YOU WANT THAT TOY SO THAT YOUR CHILD 337 00:14:20,821 --> 00:14:21,953 WILL SIT STILL FOR A COUPLE OF SECONDS 338 00:14:21,996 --> 00:14:23,737 AND GIVE YOU SOME PEACE AND QUIET 339 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:26,087 SO YOU CAN FINALLY OPEN THAT DELICIOUS BOTTLE OF MERLOT 340 00:14:26,131 --> 00:14:28,916 THAT YOU'VE BEEN DREAMING ABOUT SINCE 10:00 A.M. THIS MORNING. 341 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,049 [ Sighing ] GOD. 342 00:14:31,092 --> 00:14:33,790 YOU GET ME. 343 00:14:33,834 --> 00:14:35,575 -WHEN I WIN MY FIRST OSCAR... -MM. 344 00:14:35,618 --> 00:14:37,533 ...I'M GONNA NAME IT AFTER YOU, MS. DEVEREAUX. 345 00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,579 I'M GONNA THANK EVERYONE, AND THEN I'M GONNA SAY, 346 00:14:39,622 --> 00:14:41,146 -"THIS IS NOT AN OSCAR..." -MNH-MNH. 347 00:14:41,189 --> 00:14:42,887 -"...IT'S A DEVEREAUX." -OKAY, ZACHARY. 348 00:14:42,930 --> 00:14:44,932 RIGHT. 349 00:14:44,976 --> 00:14:46,455 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 350 00:14:46,499 --> 00:14:48,022 [ TELEPHONE BEEPS ] 351 00:14:48,066 --> 00:14:49,154 HELLO. YES. 352 00:14:49,197 --> 00:14:51,634 I NEED THIS BABY JOY RAGE DOLL. 353 00:14:51,678 --> 00:14:53,245 "BABY JOY RAGE." 354 00:14:53,288 --> 00:14:56,161 YEAH, MY KID HAS BEEN GOING CRAZY FOR THIS THING. 355 00:14:56,204 --> 00:14:57,989 ALL OF HIS FRIENDS HAVE ONE, 356 00:14:58,032 --> 00:15:01,166 AND MY WIFE HAS MADE ME DRIVE TO THE STORE THREE TIMES 357 00:15:01,209 --> 00:15:02,776 JUST TO SEE IF IT'S IN YET. 358 00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:05,213 PANTANI! 359 00:15:06,998 --> 00:15:08,956 YOU WANTED TO SEE ME, SIR? 360 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,088 WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? 361 00:15:11,654 --> 00:15:14,309 SANDY MATTEO IS PLUGGING THIS DOLL? 362 00:15:14,353 --> 00:15:16,007 I THOUGHT SHE HAD AN EXCLUSIVE WITH US -- 363 00:15:16,050 --> 00:15:17,834 -ON THE MINI-SKIRT DANCER HOOP. -WELL, I'LL LOOK INTO IT. 364 00:15:17,878 --> 00:15:19,662 AND CUSTOMER RELATIONS IS SAYING WE'RE GETTING CALLS 365 00:15:19,706 --> 00:15:21,142 ASKING IF WE OWN THE DOLL, 366 00:15:21,186 --> 00:15:22,317 WANTING TO KNOW WHEN IT'S GONNA BE RELEASED. 367 00:15:22,361 --> 00:15:23,492 [ SIGHS ] 368 00:15:23,536 --> 00:15:25,320 OH, WELL, LOOK AT THIS. 369 00:15:25,364 --> 00:15:26,887 THAT TOY REP I SAW. 370 00:15:26,931 --> 00:15:29,977 OH, OH, SHE IS A NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY GIRL. 371 00:15:30,021 --> 00:15:32,110 OKAY, I WANT A SIT-DOWN WITH GIL BARTON AT JOYLANDIA 372 00:15:32,153 --> 00:15:33,502 A.S.A.-FREAKING-P. 373 00:15:33,546 --> 00:15:36,027 AND I WANT THE MEDIA SATURATION NUMBERS 374 00:15:36,070 --> 00:15:39,247 ON THIS DEMON DOLL BEFORE THE END OF BUSINESS TODAY. 375 00:15:39,291 --> 00:15:41,162 COME ON! CHOP-CHOP! LET'S MOVE! 376 00:15:41,206 --> 00:15:46,211 BABY JOY RAGE'S MEDIA SATURATION NUMBER'S HOVERING AROUND 62%. 377 00:15:46,254 --> 00:15:47,734 IT'S NOT ENOUGH. 378 00:15:47,777 --> 00:15:49,475 WE NEED IT TO BE AT LEAST 89%. 379 00:15:49,518 --> 00:15:52,434 SANTA'S LITTLE HELPER HERE IS RIGHT -- THE DOLL'S A BUST. 380 00:15:52,478 --> 00:15:53,870 WHIRLIE STUPID THING WOULD HAVE DONE WORSE. 381 00:15:53,914 --> 00:15:55,089 AND YOU'RE AN EXPERT ON THIS BECAUSE? 382 00:15:55,133 --> 00:15:56,525 -GUYS. -BECAUSE I WAS THERE. 383 00:15:56,569 --> 00:15:58,179 -IT SPOKE TO ME. -IT SPOKETO YOU? 384 00:15:58,223 --> 00:15:59,746 YES, IT REMINDED ME OF A TOY 385 00:15:59,789 --> 00:16:01,922 MY SOCIAL WORKER USED TO MAKE ME DO EXERCISES WITH. 386 00:16:01,966 --> 00:16:03,358 ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THAT? 387 00:16:03,402 --> 00:16:04,620 OH, LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO? 388 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,274 -THIS IS STUPID. -GUYS, JUST SETTLE DOWN. 389 00:16:06,318 --> 00:16:07,884 WAIT A MINUTE. EXERCISES -- WHAT KIND OF EXERCISES? 390 00:16:07,928 --> 00:16:11,149 IDENTIFYING EMOTIONS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 391 00:16:13,325 --> 00:16:15,414 AND WHAT DO YOU FEEL HERE? 392 00:16:15,457 --> 00:16:17,590 ANGER. 393 00:16:20,462 --> 00:16:22,769 AND THIS GIRL WITH AN ICE-CREAM CONE? 394 00:16:22,812 --> 00:16:24,771 MORE ANGER. 395 00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:32,039 AND THESE HAPPY FOLKS AT THE BEACH? 396 00:16:32,083 --> 00:16:35,825 ACTUALLY, THIS ONE MAY BE... 397 00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:38,567 DEFINITELY ANGER. 398 00:16:38,611 --> 00:16:40,613 THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT. IT'S OBVIOUS. 399 00:16:40,656 --> 00:16:42,223 WE CAN'T CON A 6-YEAR-OLD. 400 00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:43,790 YOU KNOW WHO WE CAN CON? 401 00:16:43,833 --> 00:16:45,661 THEIR PARENTS. 402 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:48,055 OKAY, SO, HARDISON, YOU GET ON THAT LECTURE THING. 403 00:16:48,099 --> 00:16:49,274 ELIOT, YOU GET ON THE MOMMIES. 404 00:16:49,317 --> 00:16:51,015 AND HE DOESN'T MEAN THAT LITERALLY. 405 00:16:51,058 --> 00:16:53,147 -THAT JOKE IS NEVER FUNNY. -IT'S ALWAYS FUNNY. 406 00:16:53,191 --> 00:16:55,802 NO. IT'S NOT, HARDISON. COMEDY'S ABOUT TIMING, AND YOU DON'T HAVE IT! 407 00:16:55,845 --> 00:16:57,543 DO WE REALLY THINK PARENTS ARE GONNA BITE ON THIS? 408 00:16:57,586 --> 00:16:59,284 UH, YEAH. WHAT DO YOU THINK PARENTS ARE MOST AFRAID OF? 409 00:16:59,327 --> 00:17:00,415 -CLOWNS. -NO. 410 00:17:00,459 --> 00:17:02,548 -EVIL CLOWNS? -NO, PARKER. 411 00:17:02,591 --> 00:17:04,854 CRAZY CLOWNS CALLED GeeGee WHO WHISPER YOUR NAME FROM UNDER YOUR BED? 412 00:17:04,898 --> 00:17:06,726 NO. NO, PARENTS ARE MOST AFRAID THAT THEIR KIDS 413 00:17:06,769 --> 00:17:08,684 AREN'T GONNA BE SUCCESSFUL -- THAT THEY'RE SOMEHOW 414 00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,208 NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO COMPETE WITH OTHER KIDS. 415 00:17:10,251 --> 00:17:11,687 THEY'RE GONNA BE LEFT BEHIND -- 416 00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:13,472 THAT'SWHAT THEY'RE MOST AFRAID OF. 417 00:17:13,515 --> 00:17:15,691 SO, WE PITCH THE DOLL AS A DEVELOPMENTAL TOOL, 418 00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:18,651 AND THE CHILD USES IT TO ACCESS THEIR EMOTIONS 419 00:17:18,694 --> 00:17:20,348 AND BECOME MORE SOCIALLY AWARE. 420 00:17:20,392 --> 00:17:21,697 ABSOLUTELY. THIS IS GONNA WORK. AND IF THEY DON'T BUY IT, 421 00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:23,177 THEY RUN THE RISK OF THE KID BEING A MISFIT 422 00:17:23,221 --> 00:17:24,961 AND LIVING IN THE BASEMENT UNTIL HE'S 40. 423 00:17:25,005 --> 00:17:27,573 WE NEED A NAME FOR THE NEW TOY -- AND A GOOD NAME. UHH... 424 00:17:27,616 --> 00:17:28,878 NOT CRAZY GeeGee. 425 00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:30,010 UH, NO. UMM... 426 00:17:30,054 --> 00:17:32,839 BABY FEELS-A-LOT. 427 00:17:32,882 --> 00:17:34,797 WAIT -- WAIT, WHAT? WHAT? 428 00:17:34,841 --> 00:17:36,364 "BABY FEELS-A-LOT." 429 00:17:36,408 --> 00:17:40,020 I FEEL A LOT. YOU FEEL A LOT. WE ALL FEEL A LOT. 430 00:17:40,064 --> 00:17:42,196 AND IT'S OKAY TO FEEL A LOT, 431 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:46,374 AS LONG AS YOU USE YOUR WORDS, RIGHT? 432 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:52,076 SOPHIE DEVEREAUX. 433 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:53,903 ISN'T THIS... I DON'T KNOW, WRONG -- 434 00:17:53,947 --> 00:17:56,819 MESSING WITH CHRISTMAS PRESENTS, PLAYING WITH PARENTS' FEARS? 435 00:17:56,863 --> 00:17:59,126 I MEAN, DON'T YOU FEEL JUST A LITTLE BIT GUILTY 436 00:17:59,170 --> 00:18:00,127 GIVEN THE HOLIDAY? 437 00:18:00,171 --> 00:18:01,259 MM, NO. 438 00:18:01,302 --> 00:18:02,260 -I DO. -WHY? 439 00:18:02,303 --> 00:18:04,131 BECAUSE. 440 00:18:04,175 --> 00:18:06,394 PARKER, WHY IS THAT PEOPLE GIVE EACH OTHER CHRISTMAS PRESENTS? 441 00:18:06,438 --> 00:18:07,917 TO BE NICE. 442 00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:09,571 NO, BECAUSE THEY'RE BEING PROGRAMMED 443 00:18:09,615 --> 00:18:11,878 BY THESE GIANT CORPORATIONS THAT DO ALL THIS RESEARCH 444 00:18:11,921 --> 00:18:14,489 TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUSH THESE PSYCHOLOGICAL BUTTONS IN PEOPLE 445 00:18:14,533 --> 00:18:16,274 TO MAKE THEM GET THESE PRESENTS, RIGHT? 446 00:18:16,317 --> 00:18:18,189 MAKE NO MISTAKE, WHAT WE'RE DOING 447 00:18:18,232 --> 00:18:20,887 IS WE'RE MANIPULATING FEARS AND MAKING THESE TOYS, 448 00:18:20,930 --> 00:18:22,628 ALL OF IT. 449 00:18:22,671 --> 00:18:27,067 THIS -- THIS...IS CHRISTMAS. 450 00:18:28,068 --> 00:18:29,635 YEAH. 451 00:18:29,678 --> 00:18:30,984 LET'S GET TO WORK. 452 00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:33,508 CHILDREN ARE UNABLE TO COMMUNICATE 453 00:18:33,552 --> 00:18:35,336 THE WAY THEY ONCE DID. 454 00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:39,166 WE HAVE TAKEN AWAY THEIR NEED FOR COGNITIVE THOUGHT PROCESS, 455 00:18:39,210 --> 00:18:41,908 THEIR YEARNING FOR COMMUNIQUé, IF YOU WILL. 456 00:18:41,951 --> 00:18:45,390 BUT I'M HERE TO TELL YOU THAT THAT IS ALL ABOUT TO CHANGE 457 00:18:45,433 --> 00:18:48,958 BECAUSE WE ARE BRINGING YOU A NEW TOY TO THE MARKETPLACE. 458 00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:53,049 PLEASE ALLOW ME TO PRESENT BABY FEELS-A-LOT. 459 00:18:53,093 --> 00:18:56,792 NOW CHILDREN WILL BE ABLE TO ONCE AGAIN COMMUNICATE 460 00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,620 ON A HUMANE LEVEL. 461 00:18:58,664 --> 00:19:02,494 THEY WILL BE ABLE TO LEARN HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY ARTICULATE. 462 00:19:02,537 --> 00:19:04,235 ARE THEY HAPPY? 463 00:19:04,278 --> 00:19:07,368 ARE THEY SAD? ARE THEY MAD? 464 00:19:07,412 --> 00:19:10,589 IT IS BECAUSE WE, AS ADULTS, 465 00:19:10,632 --> 00:19:15,202 KNOW THAT FUN IS THE WORK OF CHILDHOOD, 466 00:19:15,246 --> 00:19:20,207 AND TOYS ARE THE TOOLS THAT WE USE TO ACCOMPLISH THAT WORK. 467 00:19:20,251 --> 00:19:23,167 THANK YOU. 468 00:19:23,210 --> 00:19:24,472 ALL RIGHT, CUT. 469 00:19:24,516 --> 00:19:26,692 DUDE, HOW DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS CRAP? 470 00:19:26,735 --> 00:19:29,173 I STUDIED EARLY-CHILDHOOD DEVELOPMENT. 471 00:19:29,216 --> 00:19:30,565 LOOK, MAN, VIDEO'S DONE. 472 00:19:30,609 --> 00:19:32,306 I MAKE IT SEEM LIKE I'M TALKING TO HUNDREDS, 473 00:19:32,350 --> 00:19:35,396 UPLOAD IT TO THE BLOGGER-MOM SITES, WE'RE GOOD TO GO. 474 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:38,051 -DUDE, THE BLOGGER MOMS? -YES, BLOGGER MOMS. 475 00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:40,967 THEY TALK ABOUT PARENTHOOD, SCHOOLS, LIFE AT HOME. 476 00:19:41,010 --> 00:19:43,796 LOOK, YOU GET ONE OF THESE SITES TO ENDORSE YOU, 477 00:19:43,839 --> 00:19:45,972 YOUR TOY'S GONNA GO VIRAL -- TRUST ME. 478 00:19:46,015 --> 00:19:47,060 [ COMPUTER BEEPS ] 479 00:19:50,237 --> 00:19:52,239 -THAT'S A BLOGGER MOM? -UH, CHARDONNAY MOM? 480 00:19:52,283 --> 00:19:54,023 YEAH, THAT'S ALLIE STANBROOK, MAN. 481 00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:56,504 SHE RUNS ONE OF THE TOP BLOGGER SITES IN THE NATION. 482 00:19:56,548 --> 00:19:59,028 SHE'S LOCAL, TOO -- PDX, BABY. 483 00:19:59,072 --> 00:20:00,247 [ KEYBOARD CLACKING ] 484 00:20:00,291 --> 00:20:02,206 ALL RIGHT, LOOK, LISTEN TO ME, 485 00:20:02,249 --> 00:20:04,338 IF I'M GONNA DO THIS, ALL RIGHT, I WANT TO -- 486 00:20:04,382 --> 00:20:05,470 I WANT TO BE TOUGH DAD. 487 00:20:05,513 --> 00:20:06,906 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? COOL DAD. 488 00:20:06,949 --> 00:20:08,386 JUST ENOUGH TO TURN HER HEAD. 489 00:20:08,429 --> 00:20:10,344 DON'T GO OVERBOARD ON THIS. KEEP IT SIMPLE. 490 00:20:10,388 --> 00:20:13,173 YOU KNOW, SOMEONE WHO'S -- WHO'S NOT AFRAID TO MAKE A PB&J, 491 00:20:13,217 --> 00:20:15,828 OKAY, BUT STILL WANTS TO GO OUT IN THE YARD, GET DIRTY, 492 00:20:15,871 --> 00:20:17,699 KICK THE SOCCER BALL AROUND A LITTLE BIT -- 493 00:20:17,743 --> 00:20:20,528 STRICT...BUT FAIR. 494 00:20:20,572 --> 00:20:25,098 AFTER MY WIFE PASSED, IT WAS, UH... 495 00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:32,148 IT WAS VERY TOUGH FOR ME AND MY SON...DASHIEL...TO COMMUNICATE. 496 00:20:36,631 --> 00:20:40,853 BUT...THAT'S WHEN BABY FEELS-A-LOT CAME INTO OUR LIVES. 497 00:20:40,896 --> 00:20:44,291 AND, YOU KNOW, LISTEN, DON'T GET ME WRONG. 498 00:20:44,335 --> 00:20:46,206 I'M ONE OF THOSE DADS -- 499 00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:48,687 I HAD A PROBLEM WITH MY SON PLAYING WITH A DOLL. 500 00:20:48,730 --> 00:20:50,254 -[ CHUCKLING ] -YEAH. 501 00:20:50,297 --> 00:20:53,953 BUT...I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING -- IT WORKED. 502 00:20:53,996 --> 00:20:55,868 WE WERE TALKING AGAIN. 503 00:20:55,911 --> 00:20:57,086 AWW. 504 00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:59,524 YOU KNOW, WE WERE FATHER AND SON. 505 00:20:59,567 --> 00:21:03,310 AND I FELT THE DUTY -- I HAD TO GET THIS OUT THERE. 506 00:21:03,354 --> 00:21:07,836 I HAD TO LET THE OTHER DADS KNOW WHAT THIS PRODUCT DID FOR US. 507 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:10,404 SO, I STARTED A BLOG. [ LAUGHS ] 508 00:21:10,448 --> 00:21:12,232 OH, MY GOD. 509 00:21:12,276 --> 00:21:15,279 WELL, I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE LEFT ALONE. [ CHUCKLES ] 510 00:21:15,322 --> 00:21:18,282 I MEAN, AFTER MY DIVORCE, I WAS UTTERLY GUTTED, 511 00:21:18,325 --> 00:21:21,241 WENT THROUGH ALL THE STAGES OF GRIEF. 512 00:21:21,285 --> 00:21:23,069 IT'S WHAT LED ME TO START BLOGGING. 513 00:21:23,112 --> 00:21:26,333 HANG IN THERE, OKAY? 514 00:21:26,377 --> 00:21:27,726 I WILL. 515 00:21:27,769 --> 00:21:30,294 HONESTLY, I THINK WITH YOU HERE, ALLIE, 516 00:21:30,337 --> 00:21:32,905 I MIGHT JUST BE ABLE TO HANG ON FOREVER. 517 00:21:32,948 --> 00:21:34,950 -AWW! -AWW! 518 00:21:34,994 --> 00:21:36,735 -OH, CARL. -OH. 519 00:21:36,778 --> 00:21:38,563 OH. 520 00:21:38,606 --> 00:21:40,434 WELL, NOT ONLY DO YOU HAVE MY SUPPORT, 521 00:21:40,478 --> 00:21:43,132 BUT YOU HAVE THE SUPPORT OF EVERY BLOGGER MOM IN THE STATE. 522 00:21:43,176 --> 00:21:44,917 OH, THANK YOU. [ LAUGHS ] 523 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:45,961 LADIES? 524 00:21:50,531 --> 00:21:52,011 I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, LADY, 525 00:21:52,054 --> 00:21:53,926 BUT YOUR LATEST MOVE WITH THAT DOLL, 526 00:21:53,969 --> 00:21:55,319 PLAYING THE SMART-BABY CARD? 527 00:21:55,362 --> 00:21:57,408 NICELY DONE... 528 00:21:57,451 --> 00:22:00,672 IF THIS WAS 2004. 529 00:22:00,715 --> 00:22:02,456 SMART BABIES ARE SO EIGHT YEARS AGO. 530 00:22:05,198 --> 00:22:07,374 WELL-ADJUSTED CHILDREN ARE SO TODAY. 531 00:22:07,418 --> 00:22:09,985 IN DALLAS LAST WEEK, FIREMEN USED A BABY FEELS-A-LOT 532 00:22:10,029 --> 00:22:12,510 TO COAX A RUNAWAY CHILD DOWN FROM A RADIO TOWER. 533 00:22:12,553 --> 00:22:16,557 DO YOUR TOYS SAVE LIVES, MR. HAZLIT? 534 00:22:16,601 --> 00:22:19,168 -WELL, THAT IS ONE SMART BABY. -HEY, TRENT. 535 00:22:19,212 --> 00:22:21,562 -LET'S TALK SHELVES. -LET'S. 536 00:22:21,606 --> 00:22:23,912 OH, MR. BARTON. I'M SO SORRY. 537 00:22:23,956 --> 00:22:28,047 I JUST HAVE A FEW MINUTES BEFORE MY 3:15 AT MATTEL. 538 00:22:28,090 --> 00:22:30,266 SO, IF YOU COULD POSSIBLY -- 539 00:22:30,310 --> 00:22:33,748 [ Chuckling ] WELL...I DON'T SUPPOSE OLD TRENT WOULD MIND, 540 00:22:33,792 --> 00:22:35,489 WOULD YOU, SON? 541 00:22:35,533 --> 00:22:37,535 I MEAN, LADIES FIRST. 542 00:22:39,928 --> 00:22:42,278 LADIES -- OF COURSE. 543 00:22:42,322 --> 00:22:44,890 OKAY, I'VE WRITTEN THREE MONTHS' WORTH OF BLOGS 544 00:22:44,933 --> 00:22:46,935 FOR OUR SENSITIVE DAD OVER HERE. 545 00:22:46,979 --> 00:22:49,068 I GOT PRICES FOR THE BRACES, DASHIEL'S CHESS CLUB -- 546 00:22:49,111 --> 00:22:51,070 YOU PUT IN THERE THAT WE WENT TO THE SUPER BOWL? 547 00:22:51,113 --> 00:22:53,202 OH, YEAH, MAN. YEAH, YOU EVEN MET SOME OF THE PLAYERS. 548 00:22:53,246 --> 00:22:55,422 NOW, WHAT I WAS THINKING -- TELL ME WHAT YOU FEEL. 549 00:22:55,466 --> 00:22:57,250 YOU GUYS GO ON, LIKE, A ROAD TRIP CROSS-COUNTRY, 550 00:22:57,293 --> 00:22:59,165 YOU DO A TOUR, SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 551 00:22:59,208 --> 00:23:01,210 YEAH, YEAH. I LIKE THAT. I LIKE THAT. 552 00:23:01,254 --> 00:23:02,516 OR -- AND I'M JUST GONNA PUT THIS OUT THERE -- 553 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,083 WHAT IF I TOOK HIM ON A TOUR 554 00:23:04,126 --> 00:23:05,867 OF ALL THE BALLPARKS IN AMERICA, HARDISON, HUH? 555 00:23:05,911 --> 00:23:07,913 OR MAYBE TOOK HIM TO THE OPERA OR THE MOON, HUH? 556 00:23:07,956 --> 00:23:09,393 A LITTLE SARCASM? A LITTLE SARCASM? 557 00:23:09,436 --> 00:23:10,742 YOU KNOW, BELIEVABLE FATHER-AND-SON STUFF! 558 00:23:10,785 --> 00:23:12,134 WILL YOU GUYS -- A LITTLE FOCUS, PLEASE. 559 00:23:12,178 --> 00:23:14,093 LOOK AT THE PICTURE HE USED, MAN! 560 00:23:14,136 --> 00:23:15,790 HEY! HEY! EXCUSE ME, MAN. 561 00:23:15,834 --> 00:23:17,923 I'M SORRY IF THIS KIND OF WRITING OPENS ME UP CREATIVELY. 562 00:23:17,966 --> 00:23:19,707 I'M USUALLY STUCK LOOKING AT BINARY CODES ALL DAY. 563 00:23:19,751 --> 00:23:22,493 MAYBE I WAS WRITING THE FATHER THAT I WANTED ONE DAY, OKAY? 564 00:23:22,536 --> 00:23:25,409 M-- WHAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH GETTING EMOTIONALLY BUTT NAKED? 565 00:23:25,452 --> 00:23:27,019 -WHOA. -OH, PLEASE, DON'T. 566 00:23:27,062 --> 00:23:28,673 I'M JUST TRYING TO SHARE MY FEELINGS ON PAPER. 567 00:23:28,716 --> 00:23:30,414 WE DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT. NO, PLEASE. PLEASE, DON'T. 568 00:23:30,457 --> 00:23:32,067 NOW, LISTEN, HARDISON, 569 00:23:32,111 --> 00:23:33,504 I'M VERY HAPPY WITH YOUR CREATIVITY AND EVERYTHING, 570 00:23:33,547 --> 00:23:35,419 BUT WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS, WHAT DO YOU HAVE 571 00:23:35,462 --> 00:23:36,463 ON THE BLOGGER MOMS ABOUT ELIOT? 572 00:23:36,507 --> 00:23:37,856 OH, WHAT DID THE MAMAS SAY? 573 00:23:37,899 --> 00:23:40,989 OH, WHAT ARE THEY SAYING ABOUT THE SENSITIVE DAD? 574 00:23:41,033 --> 00:23:42,600 [ KEYBOARD CLACKING ] 575 00:23:42,643 --> 00:23:44,297 I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU. I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOUR ASS. 576 00:23:44,340 --> 00:23:46,952 BOOM. CHARDONNAY MAMA. SHE CUTE, THOUGH. 577 00:23:46,995 --> 00:23:48,562 -AIN'T SHE FINE? -SHE IS. 578 00:23:48,606 --> 00:23:49,998 LOOK WHAT SHE SAYS. 579 00:23:50,042 --> 00:23:51,739 [ High-pitched ] "OH, THIS WEEK, I WAS INTRODUCED 580 00:23:51,783 --> 00:23:53,611 "TO AN AMAZING NEW TOY CALLED BABY FEELS-A-LOT, 581 00:23:53,654 --> 00:23:55,439 "THANKS TO A GENTLEMAN WHO COULDN'T BE A MORE KIND, 582 00:23:55,482 --> 00:23:58,529 MORE HANDSOME, OR MORE SENSITIVE SINGLE DAD." 583 00:23:58,572 --> 00:24:00,139 YOU DON'T DESERVE NONE OF THAT. 584 00:24:00,182 --> 00:24:01,836 NOW, HOW ARE WE DOING WITH THE TOY'S POPULARITY? 585 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:03,751 SATURATION INDEXES ARE TICKING UP 'CAUSE I DID MY JOB. 586 00:24:03,795 --> 00:24:05,274 [ COMPUTER BEEPS ] ALL RIGHT. 587 00:24:05,318 --> 00:24:06,754 SOPHIE, WHAT'S HAZLIT UP TO? 588 00:24:06,798 --> 00:24:07,842 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 589 00:24:07,886 --> 00:24:09,409 WELL, IF YOU'RE REALLY SERIOUS, 590 00:24:09,453 --> 00:24:11,803 I MEAN, OUR NEXT RETREAT'S GONNA BE IN TAHOE. 591 00:24:11,846 --> 00:24:13,848 OH, TAHOE -- COUNT ME IN. 592 00:24:13,892 --> 00:24:15,371 [ CHUCKLES ] DON'T TEASE ME, GIL. 593 00:24:15,415 --> 00:24:16,938 I AM SO FLATTERED THAT YOU ASKED ME. 594 00:24:16,982 --> 00:24:18,940 -EXCUSE ME, SIR? -[ CHUCKLES ] 595 00:24:18,984 --> 00:24:20,507 OH, EXCUSE ME, MIMI. 596 00:24:20,551 --> 00:24:23,205 IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY DEAL MEMO I HAD TO SIGN. 597 00:24:23,249 --> 00:24:24,555 OH, NO PROBLEM, GIL. 598 00:24:24,598 --> 00:24:27,471 IT'S BEEN SUCH A PLEASURE TALKING TO YOU. 599 00:24:27,514 --> 00:24:30,561 NEXT YEAR, YOU AND ME -- KITE SURFING, TAHOE. 600 00:24:30,604 --> 00:24:31,649 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 601 00:24:31,692 --> 00:24:33,651 -TAHOE? GREAT. -[ SIGHS ] 602 00:24:33,694 --> 00:24:35,653 WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE? 603 00:24:35,696 --> 00:24:37,350 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 604 00:24:37,393 --> 00:24:39,265 IT'S ALL OVER THE EXPO. LITTLE MISS HIGH HEELS THERE 605 00:24:39,308 --> 00:24:41,006 IS BIDDING ON THE PREMIUM SHELF SPACE -- 606 00:24:41,049 --> 00:24:42,573 DAYS BEFORE MY CHUBBY SNUBBY LAUNCH. 607 00:24:42,616 --> 00:24:45,140 I DON'T THINK I LIKE YOUR TONE, TRENT. 608 00:24:45,184 --> 00:24:46,490 I'LL CALL YOU LATER. 609 00:24:46,533 --> 00:24:48,753 YOU HAVE MY NUMBER. 610 00:24:48,796 --> 00:24:50,406 I GOT YOURS. 611 00:24:52,974 --> 00:24:54,889 -HI. -MERRY CHRISTMAS! 612 00:24:54,933 --> 00:24:58,066 MERRY -- OHH, YOU'RE GRUMPY. [ CHUCKLES ] 613 00:24:58,110 --> 00:25:00,155 MERRY CHRISTMAS! 614 00:25:00,199 --> 00:25:03,985 A LITTLE WORRIED, MR. HAZLIT? 615 00:25:04,029 --> 00:25:06,727 [ CHUCKLES ] 1989. 616 00:25:06,771 --> 00:25:08,599 "1989"? 617 00:25:08,642 --> 00:25:11,645 25 MACHETED CONTRAS WANTING TO GUT ME NAVEL-TO-CHIN 618 00:25:11,689 --> 00:25:14,692 IN THE HONDURAN RAIN FOREST -- THEN, I WAS WORRIED. 619 00:25:14,735 --> 00:25:16,258 THIS? THIS IS NOTHING. 620 00:25:16,302 --> 00:25:18,696 BUT I EARNED THE CONTRAS' RESPECT, 621 00:25:18,739 --> 00:25:20,524 AND THEY TAUGHT ME ONE THING. 622 00:25:20,567 --> 00:25:22,395 I'M ALL EARS. 623 00:25:22,438 --> 00:25:23,875 "PLATA O PLOMO." 624 00:25:23,918 --> 00:25:26,530 "SILVER OR LEAD." 625 00:25:26,573 --> 00:25:28,183 EXACTLY. 626 00:25:28,227 --> 00:25:32,187 TAKE A BRIBE, THE SILVER, OR YOU GET A BULLET, THE LEAD. 627 00:25:32,231 --> 00:25:34,886 THOSE ARE GONNA BE BARTON'S OPTIONS IN THE NEXT FEW MINUTES. 628 00:25:34,929 --> 00:25:38,890 BEHIND DOOR NUMBER ONE -- $80,000 IN CASH. 629 00:25:38,933 --> 00:25:42,894 TAKE A PEEK INSIDE FOR THE LEAD. 630 00:25:45,723 --> 00:25:48,595 PICTURES OF BARTON'S LAST TRIP TO CABO -- 631 00:25:48,639 --> 00:25:50,641 PICTURES THE MISSUS DOESN'T WANT TO SEE. 632 00:25:50,684 --> 00:25:53,426 WHICH DO YOU THINK HE'S GONNA CHOOSE? 633 00:25:53,469 --> 00:25:56,037 YOU PLAY DIRTY, HAZLIT. 634 00:25:56,081 --> 00:25:58,083 WELL, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. 635 00:25:58,126 --> 00:26:01,869 AND WITHOUT JOYLANDIA, YOUR BABY FEEL-ME-UP 636 00:26:01,913 --> 00:26:03,523 WITH ALL HER LITTLE FEELINGS 637 00:26:03,567 --> 00:26:06,091 THAT MAKE THE KIDDIES SO EMOTIONALLY ARTICULATE -- 638 00:26:06,134 --> 00:26:07,614 YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO IT? 639 00:26:07,658 --> 00:26:09,616 POOF. BYE-BYE. 640 00:26:11,749 --> 00:26:15,622 HAZLIT IS BLACKMAILING BARTON TO TRY AND NIX MY SHELF SPACE. 641 00:26:15,666 --> 00:26:17,972 AND HE THINKS IT'S TURNING ME ON. 642 00:26:18,016 --> 00:26:20,105 [ GAGS ] THE GUY IS A MENACE. 643 00:26:20,148 --> 00:26:23,195 HE'S A MENACE. SO, WE BECOME MORE OF A MENACE. 644 00:26:23,238 --> 00:26:24,805 HARDISON, HOW ARE WE ON SALES? 645 00:26:24,849 --> 00:26:27,503 UMM... [ KEYBOARD CLACKS ] 646 00:26:27,547 --> 00:26:30,376 WELL, THE BLOGS IN SOPHIE'S THEATER GROUP PIMP THE DEMAND, 647 00:26:30,419 --> 00:26:32,683 BUT THE PARENTS ARE BUYING 52% OF THEIR HOLIDAY GIFTS 648 00:26:32,726 --> 00:26:34,467 ON THE INTERNET. 649 00:26:34,510 --> 00:26:37,165 OKAY, SO, WE HAVE TO UP BABY FEELS-A-LOT'S ONLINE APPEAL. 650 00:26:37,209 --> 00:26:38,645 -YEAH, PRESALES. -YES. 651 00:26:38,689 --> 00:26:39,777 AND THEN WHEN THE SALES GO THROUGH THE ROOF, 652 00:26:39,820 --> 00:26:41,692 HAZLIT IS GONNA WANT TO BUY IN. 653 00:26:41,735 --> 00:26:44,869 SO, WE SET UP A MEETING WITH HIM AND THE OWNER OF... 654 00:26:44,912 --> 00:26:47,175 LUCKY BEANS TOYS. 655 00:26:47,219 --> 00:26:48,220 YES, ME. 656 00:26:48,263 --> 00:26:50,439 -ALL RIGHT. -WHAT? 657 00:26:50,483 --> 00:26:52,833 NOTHING. 658 00:26:52,877 --> 00:26:54,705 OKAY? 659 00:26:56,968 --> 00:26:59,840 WELL, IT'S JUST... I WAS TALKING TO PARKER, 660 00:26:59,884 --> 00:27:01,407 AND, I MEAN, WE'RE A LITTLE DOWN ABOUT CHRISTMAS. 661 00:27:01,450 --> 00:27:02,843 WE THINK...WE'RE... 662 00:27:02,887 --> 00:27:05,150 KIND OF RUINING THE HOLIDAY OR SOMETHING. 663 00:27:05,193 --> 00:27:07,369 HARDISON, CHRISTMAS WAS PRE-RUINED. 664 00:27:07,413 --> 00:27:09,371 YOU KNOW HOW IT BEGAN? 665 00:27:09,415 --> 00:27:11,373 [ GASPS ] NO. SHH. 666 00:27:11,417 --> 00:27:13,201 YEAH, IT WAS A FAT GUY IN A CHIMNEY. 667 00:27:13,245 --> 00:27:14,855 CHRISTMAS BEGAN AS A PAGAN, PRE-ROMAN FEAST 668 00:27:14,899 --> 00:27:17,379 INVOLVING THE SACRIFICE OF CHILDREN. 669 00:27:18,729 --> 00:27:20,339 HO-HO-HO. 670 00:27:20,382 --> 00:27:22,907 IS HE SERIOUS? 671 00:27:24,517 --> 00:27:26,519 I MEAN, DANG, I FEEL LIKE I JUST GOT SUCKER-PUNCHED 672 00:27:26,562 --> 00:27:27,912 BY AN ELF-HATING, SCROOGE-LOVING, 673 00:27:27,955 --> 00:27:29,870 NO-GIFT-GIVING ANTI-CLAUS. 674 00:27:29,914 --> 00:27:33,613 I MEAN, AM I BLEEDING? 675 00:27:33,657 --> 00:27:35,136 LITTLE BIT. 676 00:27:36,529 --> 00:27:40,489 SIR, THIS BABY FEELS-A-LOT CRAZE ISN'T GOING AWAY. 677 00:27:40,533 --> 00:27:42,100 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WE KILLED IT. 678 00:27:42,143 --> 00:27:44,232 WELL, THE TOY'S GENERATING SO MUCH BUZZ 679 00:27:44,276 --> 00:27:47,758 THAT IT'S ALREADY RANKED 5th ON THE NPD CHARTS FOR WEB PRESALES. 680 00:27:47,801 --> 00:27:49,194 AHEAD OF CHUBBY SNUBBY? 681 00:27:49,237 --> 00:27:51,109 TWO DAYS MAX BEFORE IT HITS THE TOP SPOT. 682 00:27:51,152 --> 00:27:52,937 PEOPLE ARE PRE-ORDERING IT LIKE CRAZY, 683 00:27:52,980 --> 00:27:55,243 AND IT HASN'T EVEN HIT A SINGLE STORE SHELF YET. 684 00:27:55,287 --> 00:27:56,462 IT'S JUST GONE VIRAL, BOSS. 685 00:27:58,029 --> 00:28:01,989 I WANT A SIT-DOWN WITH THIS BABY FEELS-SO-HOT WOMAN, 686 00:28:02,033 --> 00:28:03,512 AND I WANT IT NOW. 687 00:28:03,556 --> 00:28:05,950 GO. 688 00:28:09,170 --> 00:28:12,652 SO, YOU TAKE AWAY BABY FEELS-A-LOT'S SHELF SPACE 689 00:28:12,696 --> 00:28:14,306 AND THEN TAKE ME OUT FOR DRINKS. 690 00:28:14,349 --> 00:28:16,090 [ CLICKS TONGUE ] 691 00:28:16,134 --> 00:28:18,440 MAYBE I WAS WRONG... 692 00:28:18,484 --> 00:28:20,747 UNDERESTIMATING BABY FEELS-A-LOT. 693 00:28:20,791 --> 00:28:21,748 OH? 694 00:28:21,792 --> 00:28:23,532 I'M A SENSIBLE BUSINESSMAN. 695 00:28:23,576 --> 00:28:25,056 LET ME MEET THE OWNER. 696 00:28:25,099 --> 00:28:26,666 YOU BE MY BACK CHANNEL. 697 00:28:26,710 --> 00:28:29,364 MAYBE YOU AND I CAN... DO BUSINESS. 698 00:28:29,408 --> 00:28:31,062 WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME? 699 00:28:31,105 --> 00:28:34,761 YOU MAKE A MOVE ON BABY FEELS-A-LOT, I'M OUT OF A JOB. 700 00:28:34,805 --> 00:28:37,372 QUARTER-POINT OF THE GROSS ON THE DEAL -- 701 00:28:37,416 --> 00:28:40,114 COMPENSATES YOU WELL. 702 00:28:40,158 --> 00:28:44,379 ENTICING, BUT...I HAVE TO WARN YOU ABOUT EARL GREIPAL, 703 00:28:44,423 --> 00:28:46,468 THE OWNER OF LUCKY BEANS. 704 00:28:46,512 --> 00:28:50,037 HE'S -- WELL, LET'S SAY HE'S SOMEWHAT ECCENTRIC, 705 00:28:50,081 --> 00:28:53,475 AND HE'S VERY HOSTILE TO SELLING HIS COMPANY. 706 00:28:53,519 --> 00:28:55,347 MOST OF THESE INDIE TOY GUYS ARE FRIGGING NUTS -- 707 00:28:55,390 --> 00:28:57,088 THAT IS, UNTIL THEY SEE THE NUMBER OF ZEROES 708 00:28:57,131 --> 00:28:58,742 I PUT ON A CHECK. 709 00:28:58,785 --> 00:29:00,787 HALF A POINT OF THE GROSS, $21K AS A FINDER'S FEE, 710 00:29:00,831 --> 00:29:05,313 AND A V.P. POSITION AT POGGIO TOYS -- THAT'S WHAT I WANT. 711 00:29:05,357 --> 00:29:07,794 GOD, YOU'RE GOOD. 712 00:29:09,187 --> 00:29:10,492 DEAL. 713 00:29:10,536 --> 00:29:14,496 BY THE WAY, YOU AVAILABLE? 714 00:29:14,540 --> 00:29:16,281 NO, I'M MARRIED. 715 00:29:16,324 --> 00:29:19,675 YOU SEE, I DIDN'T ASK YOU THAT. 716 00:29:19,719 --> 00:29:24,506 LET'S STICK TO BUSINESS FOR NOW, TRENT. 717 00:29:30,208 --> 00:29:32,079 "FOR NOW." 718 00:29:32,123 --> 00:29:34,299 [ CHUCKLES ] 719 00:29:37,041 --> 00:29:39,521 HAZLIT'S ON THE HOOK FOR BABY FEELS-A-LOT. 720 00:29:39,565 --> 00:29:40,740 DAMN, GIRL, YOU WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG. 721 00:29:40,784 --> 00:29:42,524 THAT TOY DOES HAVE LEGS. 722 00:29:42,568 --> 00:29:44,831 [ LAUGHS ] AND YOU DOUBTED ME JUST LIKE THE REST OF THEM. 723 00:29:44,875 --> 00:29:46,485 ME? NO. 724 00:29:46,528 --> 00:29:48,792 I WOULD -- I WOULDN'T DO THAT. 725 00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:51,403 [ Cellphone speed-dials ] 726 00:29:51,446 --> 00:29:53,405 MM-HMM. YEP. [ CLEARS THROAT ] 727 00:29:53,448 --> 00:29:54,841 HELLO. LUCKY BEAN TOYS? 728 00:29:54,885 --> 00:29:57,322 THIS IS CHARLOTTE GERRARD, FIRE CHIEF. 729 00:29:57,365 --> 00:30:00,368 OUR MACHINES DETECTED A SEVERE GAS LEAK 730 00:30:00,412 --> 00:30:02,631 IN ONE OF YOUR COMPANY BUILDINGS. 731 00:30:02,675 --> 00:30:05,243 YES, THAT'S THE ONE -- THE ONE YOU HAVE. 732 00:30:05,286 --> 00:30:06,722 THAT COMPANY BUILDING. 733 00:30:06,766 --> 00:30:08,202 YES. 734 00:30:08,246 --> 00:30:11,466 YES, YOU NEED TO EVACUATE EVERYONE IMMEDIATELY. 735 00:30:11,510 --> 00:30:12,859 I SAID "EVERYONE"! 736 00:30:12,903 --> 00:30:14,295 [ CELLPHONE BEEPS ] 737 00:30:14,339 --> 00:30:17,124 -THINK THAT'LL DO IT? -YEAH, IT SHOULD. 738 00:30:17,168 --> 00:30:19,431 YEAH. I THINK I SCARED HER A LITTLE BIT. DID YOU JUMP? 739 00:30:19,474 --> 00:30:20,562 -YOU SCARED ME. -JUMPY. 740 00:30:28,962 --> 00:30:31,225 WELL, WHILE I'M BAFFLED -- 741 00:30:31,269 --> 00:30:35,055 DELIGHTED BY THE SUDDEN INTEREST IN MY TOY, 742 00:30:35,099 --> 00:30:39,059 MONEY IS NOT WHY I DESIGNED BABY FEELS-A-LOT. 743 00:30:39,103 --> 00:30:40,756 NO. 744 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:44,673 I DID IT FOR MY SON, NESTOR, YES... 745 00:30:44,717 --> 00:30:47,502 WHO IS NOW IN FEDERAL PRISON. 746 00:30:47,546 --> 00:30:48,503 OH? 747 00:30:48,547 --> 00:30:50,375 YES, IT WAS A NASTY EPISODE 748 00:30:50,418 --> 00:30:52,377 INVOLVING HORSES AND MEN FROM TACOMA. 749 00:30:52,420 --> 00:30:56,685 DOCTORS ATTRIBUTE IT TO NESTOR'S DIFFICULTY GROWING UP, 750 00:30:56,729 --> 00:31:00,167 HAVING EMOTIONS, FRUSTRATION, ANGER ISSUES. 751 00:31:00,211 --> 00:31:02,866 -I SEE. -MR. GREIPAL HAS OFTEN SAID 752 00:31:02,909 --> 00:31:06,521 THAT HE WISHED THAT THERE HAD BEEN A TOY LIKE BABY FEELS-A-LOT 753 00:31:06,565 --> 00:31:08,828 DURING NESTOR'S DEVELOPMENTAL YEARS. 754 00:31:08,872 --> 00:31:11,700 I WISH THERE HAD BEEN A TOY LIKE BABY FEELS-A-LOT 755 00:31:11,744 --> 00:31:15,574 DURING NESTOR'S DEVELOPMENTAL YEARS. 756 00:31:15,617 --> 00:31:17,706 AH, DIFFERENT TIMES. 757 00:31:17,750 --> 00:31:20,361 SO, MR. HAZLIT, YOU KNOW, EXPERTS -- 758 00:31:20,405 --> 00:31:23,321 THEY CAN LOOK AT DATA OR COLOR SCHEMATICS 759 00:31:23,364 --> 00:31:26,802 ABOUT WHAT CHILDREN SUPPOSEDLY LIKE OR DON'T LIKE. 760 00:31:26,846 --> 00:31:30,154 BUT REALLY WHAT THEY SHOULD DO IS THEY SHOULD... 761 00:31:30,197 --> 00:31:33,940 THEY SHOULD LOOK INSIDE AT THE CHILD INSIDE THEMSELVES. 762 00:31:33,984 --> 00:31:38,162 THAT'S WHAT WE INTEND TO DO WITH BABY FEELS-A-LOT, MR. GREIPAL. 763 00:31:38,205 --> 00:31:40,860 WE HAVE AN EXCELLENT TRACK RECORD -- 764 00:31:40,904 --> 00:31:43,732 YES, OKAY, BUT THE CHILD WITHIN ME 765 00:31:43,776 --> 00:31:46,735 IS SAYING THAT WHAT YOU INTEND TO DO 766 00:31:46,779 --> 00:31:49,564 IS SHIP NESTOR'S TOY OFF TO CHINA 767 00:31:49,608 --> 00:31:53,699 AND TURN IT INTO SOME SORT OF EMOTIONAL ABOMINATION. 768 00:31:53,742 --> 00:31:55,919 YOU HAVEN'T HEARD MY OFFER. 769 00:31:55,962 --> 00:32:00,227 WELL, I'M AFRAID THAT NO MATTER HOW GENEROUS YOUR OFFER IS... 770 00:32:02,969 --> 00:32:05,276 ...THE ANSWER IS NO. 771 00:32:08,496 --> 00:32:11,935 OKAY. FINE. 772 00:32:11,978 --> 00:32:13,284 [ SIGHS ] 773 00:32:13,327 --> 00:32:14,981 YOU ASK ME, GEPPETTO IN THERE 774 00:32:15,025 --> 00:32:17,418 WANTS TO NAVEL-GAZE FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS, 775 00:32:17,462 --> 00:32:19,029 NOT SELL HIS COMPANY. 776 00:32:19,072 --> 00:32:22,293 LOOK, YOU MAKE A VERY FAST, VERY LARGE OFFER 777 00:32:22,336 --> 00:32:26,514 BEFORE THIS CRAZE GOES NUTS, AND I PROMISE YOU HE'LL BITE. 778 00:32:26,558 --> 00:32:29,300 HE'S ODD, YES, BUT HE'S NOT STUPID. 779 00:32:29,343 --> 00:32:33,739 I KNOW THAT YOU CORPORATE GUYS LIKE TO MOVE SLOWLY, YOU KNOW, 780 00:32:33,782 --> 00:32:36,611 WHILE LAWYERS POKE AROUND FOR MONTHS, 781 00:32:36,655 --> 00:32:40,311 BUT IF GREIPAL GETS HINKY, THIS THING IS ALL OVER. 782 00:32:40,354 --> 00:32:43,053 GIVE ME THE SAMPLE OF THE TOY. 783 00:32:43,096 --> 00:32:44,706 I WANT TO RUN A SAFETY STUDY. 784 00:32:44,750 --> 00:32:46,621 WELL, DON'T WE JUST FUDGE THE SAFETY NUMBERS DOWN THE ROAD 785 00:32:46,665 --> 00:32:47,927 IF WE HAVE TO? 786 00:32:47,971 --> 00:32:51,887 OHH, WE COULD BE SO GREAT TOGETHER. 787 00:32:51,931 --> 00:32:55,587 I'LL OVERNIGHT AN EXPEDITED STUDY -- MY COMPANY'S LICENSE. 788 00:32:55,630 --> 00:32:58,111 WHATEVER THE RESULTS, CALL ME TOMORROW WITH GREIPAL'S PRICE. 789 00:32:58,155 --> 00:32:59,591 [ SIGHS ] 790 00:32:59,634 --> 00:33:04,770 I'LL BE AS GENTLE AS IF I WAS HOLDING YOUR -- 791 00:33:04,813 --> 00:33:07,251 DON'T...SAY IT. 792 00:33:08,513 --> 00:33:10,384 I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. 793 00:33:18,392 --> 00:33:20,481 I NEED THIS EXPEDITED A.S.A.P. 794 00:33:20,525 --> 00:33:23,136 TELL WIGGINS IT'S FOR TRENT HAZLIT, 795 00:33:23,180 --> 00:33:26,400 AND I WANT THE 12-HOUR TURNAROUND FOR POGGIO. 796 00:33:26,444 --> 00:33:29,142 MANUFACTURING LICENSE AND MEDALLION? 797 00:33:29,186 --> 00:33:33,016 IT'S ALL...RIGHT IN THERE. 798 00:33:37,498 --> 00:33:39,152 HAZLIT? 799 00:33:39,196 --> 00:33:40,849 -MM? -GOOD NEWS. 800 00:33:40,893 --> 00:33:42,764 I HAVE A FIGURE FOR YOU. 801 00:33:42,808 --> 00:33:44,201 HE WAS A BIT HESITANT AT FIRST, BUT I -- 802 00:33:44,244 --> 00:33:45,985 LET ME STOP YOU. I HAVE NO INTEREST 803 00:33:46,029 --> 00:33:48,074 IN BUYING THE DOLL OR MR. GREIPAL'S COMPANY. 804 00:33:48,118 --> 00:33:49,554 -WHY NOT? -ONLY REASON I DID 805 00:33:49,597 --> 00:33:51,686 THE SAFETY STUDY WAS TO GET THE TOY'S SPECS. 806 00:33:51,730 --> 00:33:52,992 WHAT FOR? 807 00:33:53,036 --> 00:33:54,602 TO RELEASE A KNOCK-OFF THAT'LL UNDERCUT 808 00:33:54,646 --> 00:33:56,387 THE BABY FEELS-A-LOT'S PRICE POINT BY 40%. 809 00:33:56,430 --> 00:34:02,175 IN FACT, I PLAN TO MENTION BABY HAPPY MAD -- NICE, HUH? -- 810 00:34:02,219 --> 00:34:04,786 THIS AFTERNOON AT MY PRESS CONFERENCE 811 00:34:04,830 --> 00:34:06,310 FOR CHUBBY SNUBBY DOG. 812 00:34:06,353 --> 00:34:08,225 SO, THANKS FOR THE FREE BUZZ. 813 00:34:08,268 --> 00:34:10,923 YOUR KNOCK-OFF WILL NEVER REPLACE 814 00:34:10,966 --> 00:34:12,881 THE REAL BABY FEELS-A-LOT. 815 00:34:12,925 --> 00:34:15,058 LISTEN, DARLING... 816 00:34:15,101 --> 00:34:18,844 I GOT THREE FLOORS OF HIGHLY PAID FUNGINEERS 817 00:34:18,887 --> 00:34:22,326 WHO ARE ALREADY AMPING UP THE HAPPINESS FACTOR ON THAT DOLL 818 00:34:22,369 --> 00:34:23,979 LIKE YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE. 819 00:34:24,023 --> 00:34:27,113 MR. GREIPAL MIGHT MAKE TOYS WITH LOVE ON THE INSIDE, 820 00:34:27,157 --> 00:34:30,160 BUT MINE ARE MADE WITH PETROLEUM-BASED PLASTICS 821 00:34:30,203 --> 00:34:33,424 AND THE BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS OF THIRD-WORLD 11-YEAR-OLDS. 822 00:34:33,467 --> 00:34:34,947 YOU CAN'T BEAT IT. 823 00:34:34,990 --> 00:34:38,211 SO, COME ON, HELP ME CELEBRATE. 824 00:34:38,255 --> 00:34:39,952 YOU ARE A -- 825 00:34:39,995 --> 00:34:43,782 THE MALE VERSION OF YOU. 826 00:34:43,825 --> 00:34:45,305 COME ON. 827 00:34:45,349 --> 00:34:49,048 WHO DOESN'T DREAM OF DATING THEMSELVES, RIGHT? 828 00:34:49,092 --> 00:34:51,572 [ SIGHS ] 829 00:34:58,449 --> 00:35:01,321 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 830 00:35:02,279 --> 00:35:06,065 "CHUBBY SNUBBY IS THE FUTURE OF OUR COMPANY." 831 00:35:06,109 --> 00:35:08,154 "CHUBBY SNUBBY IS THE FUTURE OF OUR COMPANY." 832 00:35:08,198 --> 00:35:10,069 CAN YOU FEEL THE ENERGY OUT THERE, SIR? 833 00:35:10,113 --> 00:35:12,158 THIS IS GONNA BE BIG. "THE ENERGY OUT THERE." 834 00:35:12,202 --> 00:35:13,768 IT'S NOT ABOUT THE ENERGY OUT THERE. 835 00:35:13,812 --> 00:35:15,292 IT'S ABOUT THE ENERGY IN HERE. 836 00:35:15,335 --> 00:35:18,338 -THIS IS ABOUT TRENT HAZLIT. -OH, RIGHT, RIGHT. 837 00:35:18,382 --> 00:35:20,949 SO, GO OUT THERE AND GIVE THEM A BIG, OLD BAG OF TRENT. 838 00:35:20,993 --> 00:35:22,212 [ CHUCKLES ] 839 00:35:22,255 --> 00:35:24,170 SHUT UP. [ CLEARS THROAT ] 840 00:35:24,214 --> 00:35:26,041 THERE HE IS. MR. HAZLIT! MR. HAZLIT! 841 00:35:26,085 --> 00:35:28,479 I'LL TAKE QUESTIONS AFTER THE LAUNCH CELEBRATION. 842 00:35:28,522 --> 00:35:30,829 SO, YOU'RE TREATING THIS CHUBBY SNUBBY TOY DOG 843 00:35:30,872 --> 00:35:32,874 RECALL AS A CELEBRATION? 844 00:35:32,918 --> 00:35:34,615 RECALL? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 845 00:35:34,659 --> 00:35:36,095 WELL, SURELY THERE WILL BE A RECALL AFTER THE GOVERNMENT 846 00:35:36,139 --> 00:35:38,358 RELEASED THE FAILED SAFETY STUDY THIS MORNING. 847 00:35:38,402 --> 00:35:40,099 GOVERNMENT? [ FEEDBACK SQUEALS ] 848 00:35:40,143 --> 00:35:42,406 I NEVER SUBMITTED ANY STUDY TO THE GOVERNMENT. 849 00:35:42,449 --> 00:35:44,625 I NEED THIS EXPEDITED A.S.A.P. 850 00:35:44,669 --> 00:35:47,367 TELL WIGGINS IT'S FOR TRENT HAZLIT, 851 00:35:47,411 --> 00:35:50,718 AND I WANT THE 12-HOUR TURNAROUND FOR POGGIO. 852 00:35:50,762 --> 00:35:53,504 MANUFACTURING LICENSE AND MEDALLION? 853 00:35:53,547 --> 00:35:57,595 IT'S ALL...RIGHT IN THERE. 854 00:36:01,686 --> 00:36:04,079 WANT TO KNOW WHO REGULATES TOY SAFETY IN THIS COUNTRY? 855 00:36:04,123 --> 00:36:06,299 -THE TOY COMPANIES. -WHAT ABOUT GOVERNMENT? 856 00:36:06,343 --> 00:36:09,650 CONSUMER PRODUCT SAFETY COMMISSION. THEY TRY. 857 00:36:09,694 --> 00:36:11,478 THEY'RE A SOLID GOVERNMENT AGENCY, 858 00:36:11,522 --> 00:36:13,611 BUT SAFETY STUDIES ARE VOLUNTARY, 859 00:36:13,654 --> 00:36:16,004 SO CERTAIN COMPANIES JUST WON'T TAKE THAT RISK 860 00:36:16,048 --> 00:36:17,963 BECAUSE IF A TOY IS FOUND HAZARDOUS, 861 00:36:18,006 --> 00:36:19,399 THEY HAVE TO MAKE IT PUBLIC. 862 00:36:20,661 --> 00:36:21,662 -CAN I HELP YOU? -HI. 863 00:36:21,706 --> 00:36:22,924 I NEED AN EXPEDITED, OVERNIGHT 864 00:36:22,968 --> 00:36:24,491 GOVERNMENT SAFETY INSPECTION OF THIS. 865 00:36:24,535 --> 00:36:25,710 MM-HMM. 866 00:36:25,753 --> 00:36:27,929 RELEVANT FORMS, MY SIGNATURE. 867 00:36:27,973 --> 00:36:30,018 AND MAKE SURE TO RUN IT THROUGH YOUR STRICTEST, 868 00:36:30,062 --> 00:36:31,890 MOST RIGOROUS TESTS. 869 00:36:31,933 --> 00:36:33,021 OKAY. 870 00:36:40,812 --> 00:36:43,075 [ INDISTINCT TALKING ] 871 00:36:43,118 --> 00:36:44,511 EVERYTHING OKAY, CARL? 872 00:36:44,555 --> 00:36:46,252 YOUR CALL SOUNDED LIKE SOMETHING WAS WRONG. 873 00:36:46,296 --> 00:36:48,211 NO, ACTUALLY, A FAN OF MINE SENT ME THIS SAFETY STUDY, 874 00:36:48,254 --> 00:36:49,647 AND I FIND IT VERY ALARMING. 875 00:36:49,690 --> 00:36:51,736 I THINK THAT WE SHOULD GET THIS OUT THERE, 876 00:36:51,779 --> 00:36:53,868 AND WE SHOULD LET THE PARENTS KNOW ABOUT IT. 877 00:36:53,912 --> 00:36:55,827 IS THERE ANY WAY THAT YOU COULD, UH, MAYBE HELP ME WITH THAT? 878 00:36:55,870 --> 00:36:57,611 -OH, MY GOD. -YEAH. 879 00:36:57,655 --> 00:37:00,092 OKAY. WE ARE SOALL OVER THIS. 880 00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:03,269 -OKAY. THANK YOU SO MUCH. -MM. 881 00:37:05,750 --> 00:37:07,186 WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE? 882 00:37:07,230 --> 00:37:08,666 DO YOU CARE TO COMMENT ON THE RECALL, SIR? 883 00:37:08,709 --> 00:37:09,971 NO, I DON'T CARE TO COMMENT. 884 00:37:10,015 --> 00:37:12,278 I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED HERE. 885 00:37:12,322 --> 00:37:13,453 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 886 00:37:13,497 --> 00:37:16,674 I AM GONNA SUE YOUR ASS, HAZLIT! 887 00:37:19,154 --> 00:37:21,592 WHO DID THIS TO ME? 888 00:37:42,569 --> 00:37:44,963 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID IT. 889 00:37:45,006 --> 00:37:47,966 I WISH THERE WERE MORE PEOPLE LIKE YOU OUT THERE. 890 00:37:48,009 --> 00:37:50,055 -YOU DID IT, MR. MARRIS. -YEAH. 891 00:37:50,098 --> 00:37:52,013 WITHOUT YOU, HAZLIT WOULD STILL BE AROUND. 892 00:37:52,057 --> 00:37:53,624 I WAS JUST DOING MY JOB. 893 00:37:53,667 --> 00:37:55,190 WELL, SPEAKING OF JOBS, 894 00:37:55,234 --> 00:37:58,237 THE CHIEF EXAMINER'S LOOKING FOR A NEW ANALYST. 895 00:37:58,281 --> 00:37:59,586 CHIEF EXAMINER? 896 00:37:59,630 --> 00:38:01,545 FOR THE CONSUMER PRODUCT SAFETY COMMISSION. 897 00:38:01,588 --> 00:38:03,503 WHEN HE FOUND OUT THAT HE COULD HIRE THE GUY 898 00:38:03,547 --> 00:38:05,810 THAT TOOK DOWN HAZLIT, HE JUMPED AT IT. 899 00:38:05,853 --> 00:38:08,552 I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. [ LAUGHS ] 900 00:38:08,595 --> 00:38:10,380 [ Laughing ] I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH. 901 00:38:10,423 --> 00:38:13,470 W-- MERRY CHRISTMAS. 902 00:38:15,123 --> 00:38:17,909 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 903 00:38:17,952 --> 00:38:20,477 PROMISE ME THOSE THINGS WILL NEVER HIT STORE SHELVES. 904 00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:22,392 NAH, I'M KEEPING THEM ALL TO MYSELF. 905 00:38:22,435 --> 00:38:24,350 I'VE GOT THEM LINED UP IN MY WAREHOUSE 906 00:38:24,394 --> 00:38:25,786 LIKE AN ARMY OF JOY AND RAGE. 907 00:38:25,830 --> 00:38:28,746 YOU DON'T EVER WANT TO BE IN THAT WAREHOUSE ALONE. 908 00:38:28,789 --> 00:38:30,530 [ CHUCKLES ] EVER. 909 00:38:30,574 --> 00:38:34,795 I THINK IT'S REALLY SAD THAT WE'RE SO CYNICAL ABOUT GIFTS. 910 00:38:34,839 --> 00:38:38,712 I USED TO [SIGHS] I LOVED CHRISTMAS AS A CHILD. 911 00:38:38,756 --> 00:38:40,366 YEAH, WELL, NOTHING'S GENUINE ANYMORE. 912 00:38:40,410 --> 00:38:42,412 THAT'S NOT TRUE. NO. I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS. 913 00:38:42,455 --> 00:38:46,372 AND YOU KNOW WHAT IS GENUINE? TRUST. 914 00:38:46,416 --> 00:38:47,504 -TRUST? -YES, TRUST. 915 00:38:47,547 --> 00:38:48,766 [ CHUCKLES ] 916 00:38:48,809 --> 00:38:50,594 I THINK -- NO, SERIOUSLY. 917 00:38:50,637 --> 00:38:54,685 I THINK WE SHOULD GIVE EACH OTHER SOME TRUST FOR CHRISTMAS. 918 00:38:54,728 --> 00:38:56,121 WHAT, LIKE THAT WILLOW EXERCISE 919 00:38:56,164 --> 00:38:57,383 WHERE YOU FALL BACK AND SOMEONE CATCHES YOU? 920 00:38:57,427 --> 00:38:59,037 NO, NOT LIKE THAT. 921 00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:01,126 GOOD, BECAUSE I DID THAT ONCE, AND I DROPPED THE PERSON, 922 00:39:01,169 --> 00:39:02,257 AND THEY HAD TO GET STITCHES. 923 00:39:02,301 --> 00:39:03,258 STILL HURTS. 924 00:39:03,302 --> 00:39:05,130 I KNOW. 925 00:39:05,173 --> 00:39:06,653 I JUST THINK THAT, WELL, 926 00:39:06,697 --> 00:39:08,742 WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH TOGETHER, ALL OF US, 927 00:39:08,786 --> 00:39:10,788 AND WE SHOULD GIVE EACH OTHER SOMETHING REALLY PERSONAL THIS YEAR, 928 00:39:10,831 --> 00:39:15,706 LIKE, UM, I DON'T KNOW, A STORY OR A SECRET. 929 00:39:15,749 --> 00:39:17,185 -NO, COME ON. -[ CLEARS THROAT ] 930 00:39:17,229 --> 00:39:19,753 BEAR WITH ME, PLEASE. PLEASE. 931 00:39:19,797 --> 00:39:21,364 WHO'S GONNA GO FIRST? 932 00:39:22,974 --> 00:39:24,410 ELIOT. 933 00:39:24,454 --> 00:39:27,370 ALL RIGHT. 934 00:39:27,413 --> 00:39:30,068 WHEN I WAS A KID... 935 00:39:30,111 --> 00:39:32,375 I WANTED A TRUMPET ONE CHRISTMAS. 936 00:39:32,418 --> 00:39:35,378 [ SIGHS ] 937 00:39:35,421 --> 00:39:38,032 MY FATHER PLAYED SINATRA ALL THE TIME, 938 00:39:38,076 --> 00:39:41,949 AND SINATRA HAD THIS TRUMPET PLAYER NAMED "SWEETS" EDISON -- 939 00:39:41,993 --> 00:39:45,300 HARRY "SWEETS" EDISON. GREAT SOUND -- AMAZING. 940 00:39:45,344 --> 00:39:47,825 I WANTED TO SOUND JUST LIKE HIM, YOU KNOW? 941 00:39:47,868 --> 00:39:51,132 CHRISTMAS ROLLED AROUND, AND, UH, THERE WAS NO TRUMPET -- 942 00:39:51,176 --> 00:39:53,352 JUST A PACK OF, UH, BASEBALL CARDS. 943 00:39:53,396 --> 00:39:55,136 WELL, MY FATHER SAID THAT SANTA 944 00:39:55,180 --> 00:39:57,661 MUST HAVE HAD A ROUGH YEAR AT THE TRACK. 945 00:39:57,704 --> 00:39:58,749 SO, THERE'S... 946 00:39:58,792 --> 00:40:00,794 ANYWAY, A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER, 947 00:40:00,838 --> 00:40:04,189 I WAKE UP IN MY BED, AND AT THE FOOT OF THE BED IS -- 948 00:40:04,232 --> 00:40:05,538 IS A TRUMPET. 949 00:40:05,582 --> 00:40:07,975 I MEAN, IT'S ALL TARNISHED AND DINGED UP -- 950 00:40:08,019 --> 00:40:13,981 MY DAD PROBABLY ROLLED SOMEBODY FOR IT, BUT THERE IT IS. 951 00:40:14,025 --> 00:40:20,640 AND I, UH, I PLAYED THAT TRUMPET EVERY DAY FOR 10 YEARS. 952 00:40:20,684 --> 00:40:22,337 YOU KNOW, I NEVER -- 953 00:40:22,381 --> 00:40:26,516 I NEVER, UH, ENDED UP SOUNDING LIKE "SWEETS" EDISON, 954 00:40:26,559 --> 00:40:28,996 BUT... 955 00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,695 SO, I GAVE IT TO, UM, 956 00:40:31,738 --> 00:40:35,089 I GAVE IT TO SAM... 957 00:40:35,133 --> 00:40:38,353 ON HIS 8th BIRTHDAY. 958 00:40:41,139 --> 00:40:43,924 AND THAT WAS, UM... 959 00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:51,497 HIS, UM, FIRST TRUMPET LESSON WAS SCHEDULED FOR THE DAY, 960 00:40:51,541 --> 00:40:55,675 AS IT TURNS OUT, THAT HE WENT INTO THE HOSPITAL. 961 00:40:55,719 --> 00:40:58,809 AND I -- SO, HE... 962 00:41:04,249 --> 00:41:08,079 I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING LEFT... 963 00:41:08,122 --> 00:41:11,082 FROM MY CHILDHOOD, BUT I DID KEEP THE TRUMPET. 964 00:41:11,125 --> 00:41:13,998 I KEEP IT ON THE BOAT. 965 00:41:23,355 --> 00:41:25,052 OKAY, WHO'S NEXT? 966 00:41:25,096 --> 00:41:26,227 [ SLURPS ] 967 00:41:26,271 --> 00:41:29,056 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 68245

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