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蜜桃成熟时33D
2
00:00:28,333 --> 00:00:31,166
2046年 地球发生巨变
3
00:00:31,542 --> 00:00:33,328
"沙卡星"的外星人不断用
4
00:00:33,417 --> 00:00:35,658
辐射摧毁地球人的生殖能力
5
00:00:36,167 --> 00:00:39,785
99%的地球男人已经无法传宗接代
6
00:00:40,083 --> 00:00:41,744
联合国选出一个最健康的女子
7
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名叫未来
8
00:00:42,958 --> 00:00:45,119
计划运送她回去2011年的地球
9
00:00:45,333 --> 00:00:47,039
找一个健康男性做爱
10
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取他的健康基因
11
00:00:48,625 --> 00:00:50,991
为人类传宗接代
12
00:00:51,125 --> 00:00:52,365
但是 外星人派出
13
00:00:52,458 --> 00:00:55,495
他们最厉害的"沙卡1号"和"沙卡2号"
14
00:00:55,583 --> 00:00:57,164
要阻止未来
15
00:02:11,083 --> 00:02:12,664
她就是未来
16
00:02:12,875 --> 00:02:14,536
我和你追去2011年
17
00:02:14,625 --> 00:02:17,742
只要将她强奸 地球人就灭绝了
18
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我叫千千 是IT大学的学生
19
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我修读法律系
20
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立志成为一个为女性争取权益的大律师
21
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接球呀 看什么
22
00:03:02,333 --> 00:03:03,448
好坏呀
23
00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:06,074
这个无时无刻不停放电的女孩
24
00:03:06,208 --> 00:03:08,915
是我的好姊妹 医学系的西西
25
00:03:09,208 --> 00:03:11,324
她对人体构造非常熟悉
26
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尤其是男人
27
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但不是在课堂上学的 而是在床上
28
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这个是牙尖嘴利的珍珍
29
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和我一起读法律系的
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她的嘴巴很厉害
31
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一些没用的宅男 常被她骂哭
32
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这个叫米亚 是大学一年级学生
33
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纯得像一杯白开水
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她以前被妈妈管着 令她什么都不懂
35
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现在大解放 对什么都很好奇
36
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告诉你一个秘密 她还是处女
37
00:03:43,542 --> 00:03:47,239
正在困扰应该把第一次献给谁
38
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你老爸 大水牛
39
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你老妈 大风炉
40
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你爷爷...那么大的胸部?
41
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给我看...
42
00:03:58,958 --> 00:04:00,164
去你的!
43
00:04:01,792 --> 00:04:03,373
你以为自己是大哥?
44
00:04:05,333 --> 00:04:07,198
这望远镜 是我们一起买的
45
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说好了是我先用的
46
00:04:13,250 --> 00:04:14,831
坦白说 要不是我教你们
47
00:04:14,958 --> 00:04:17,449
买这个超级AV夜视透视镜
48
00:04:17,667 --> 00:04:19,703
你们今晚哪有屁股看?
49
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这东西...真的能看到屁股?
50
00:04:21,917 --> 00:04:22,952
当然可以
51
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就是为了让你们晚上能偷窥女人
52
00:04:25,583 --> 00:04:28,780
我含辛茹苦 白天的太阳这么猛烈...
53
00:04:28,875 --> 00:04:30,411
也在这儿帮你们调好度数
54
00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:31,740
就是为了帮你俩个王八
55
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晚上能看得舒服点
56
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你们竟然怀疑我糊弄你们?
57
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天呀!
58
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为什么这个世界这样不公平?
59
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冷静点 冷静点 你慢慢调
60
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我去弄早餐 你待会来吃
61
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我去帮忙
62
00:04:54,750 --> 00:04:55,660
在看什么?
63
00:04:55,833 --> 00:04:59,121
没什么 在做一个人体动力学的研究
64
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看
65
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无聊
66
00:05:11,042 --> 00:05:12,953
千千她们搬往对面而已
67
00:05:13,083 --> 00:05:15,074
还有珍珍 西西和米亚她们
68
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有什么好看 以后天天都能见面
69
00:05:17,375 --> 00:05:18,660
那她们为什么搬过来?
70
00:05:19,750 --> 00:05:20,990
快要考毕业试了
71
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我们都搬来这儿温习 人家也一样嘛
72
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会不会是她们...
73
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有所企图呢?
74
00:05:28,708 --> 00:05:29,493
为什么?
75
00:05:29,625 --> 00:05:31,536
蛋散和废柴俩王八不屑一提
76
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就我和你来说...
77
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,786
肯定迷倒不少女孩
78
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拜托你 别造梦啦
79
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上学吧
80
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学生哥 好温功课
81
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别天天想着胸
82
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又怎么了?
83
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:50,705
应该是...
84
00:05:51,167 --> 00:05:52,828
昨晚吃了牛鞭三文治
85
00:05:53,208 --> 00:05:56,041
现在春袋勒住眼袋 孖筋缠住脑筋
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你先走吧
87
00:05:58,333 --> 00:05:59,448
你省点吧
88
00:06:03,292 --> 00:06:05,157
我们这种干大事的人
89
00:06:05,417 --> 00:06:09,660
当然是泡妞当头 零分罢就
90
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让我亮出秘密武器!
91
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,907
千千 你们搬过来了?
92
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是呀 你们也是?
93
00:06:18,542 --> 00:06:19,782
是呀 毕业试你一定要加油
94
00:06:19,917 --> 00:06:21,202
看好你呀 未来大律师
95
00:06:21,833 --> 00:06:22,663
走了 再见
96
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再见
97
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千千 你不是一直很喜欢他吗?
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这次吃定他了
99
00:06:27,667 --> 00:06:29,498
胡说 他都没有表示
100
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他不错呀就是
101
00:06:31,583 --> 00:06:32,993
你不要 那我要了
102
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哪有人像你这么随便
103
00:06:34,208 --> 00:06:35,163
那我要啦
104
00:06:36,792 --> 00:06:38,828
才一个洗手间 谁先洗澡?
105
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我 我先洗
106
00:06:44,292 --> 00:06:45,702
这个西西 什么都争
107
00:06:45,833 --> 00:06:46,913
争男人 争出风头
108
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现在连洗手间也争
109
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真受不了她
110
00:06:50,667 --> 00:06:51,952
一场好姊妹 又住在一起
111
00:06:52,083 --> 00:06:54,165
让她一下吧是啊
112
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升起来了! 小强号...
113
00:07:56,917 --> 00:07:58,623
呼呼地向上升吧! 靠你了
114
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一路顺风 小强!
115
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加油啊!
116
00:08:02,125 --> 00:08:04,491
很快有得瞧啦!
117
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:15,032
好...好大呀!
118
00:08:15,167 --> 00:08:17,032
乒乓球而已
119
00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:20,581
你看那边
120
00:08:24,083 --> 00:08:25,744
再看这边
121
00:08:25,750 --> 00:08:28,583
原来是保龄球啊!
122
00:08:30,083 --> 00:08:33,120
这妞儿好销魂 我受不了!
123
00:08:35,167 --> 00:08:37,374
你又想牺牲你的千万子孙了?
124
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看吧 别只盯住一个 还有另外三个
125
00:08:40,833 --> 00:08:41,788
有道理!
126
00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:45,162
是时候把目光...放远一点
127
00:08:51,542 --> 00:08:54,124
很漂亮呀 这件很漂亮
128
00:08:55,708 --> 00:08:56,868
给我吧 我很想穿你这一件
129
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,082
真是一波未平 一波又起
130
00:09:00,167 --> 00:09:01,452
那条事业线真是...
131
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,706
深不可测
132
00:09:05,750 --> 00:09:06,364
你干嘛?
133
00:09:06,625 --> 00:09:07,159
喂!
134
00:09:07,667 --> 00:09:08,452
喂!
135
00:09:09,375 --> 00:09:10,285
糟了
136
00:09:13,375 --> 00:09:15,912
小强!
137
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,035
为什么...
138
00:09:21,458 --> 00:09:23,665
六月飞霜啊...节哀顺变...
139
00:09:24,125 --> 00:09:28,038
多年来 你为我立下无数丰功伟绩
140
00:09:28,417 --> 00:09:30,032
汗马功劳
141
00:09:30,833 --> 00:09:34,030
帮我看到千千万万对咪咪
142
00:09:34,792 --> 00:09:38,284
你的死 是有价值的
143
00:09:38,458 --> 00:09:39,948
星爷!
144
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你别理我
145
00:09:42,208 --> 00:09:45,245
人不伤心 是不会流泪的
146
00:09:45,583 --> 00:09:48,074
走 走啊!
147
00:09:50,667 --> 00:09:52,282
喂 用不着跑吧
148
00:09:52,375 --> 00:09:53,535
怕有屎掉下来呀?
149
00:09:53,542 --> 00:09:54,497
帅哥
150
00:09:59,458 --> 00:10:00,072
妈的
151
00:10:01,125 --> 00:10:02,285
中招了
152
00:10:02,875 --> 00:10:04,536
吃饭啦
153
00:10:04,875 --> 00:10:06,206
快出来吃饭
154
00:10:06,708 --> 00:10:07,413
星爷呢?
155
00:10:07,750 --> 00:10:09,035
不是去温习吧?
156
00:10:12,708 --> 00:10:13,618
看什么?
157
00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:15,991
龙珠 魔童装
158
00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:17,205
没有见过吗?
159
00:10:17,542 --> 00:10:19,498
吃饭啦 这么三八?
160
00:10:20,208 --> 00:10:21,197
看什么? 色情书?
161
00:10:21,458 --> 00:10:22,573
科幻小说
162
00:10:22,958 --> 00:10:24,243
什么科幻小说?
163
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:26,289
讲未来的人透过时光机
164
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:27,406
来到21世纪
165
00:10:27,667 --> 00:10:29,123
用科技拯救地球
166
00:10:30,625 --> 00:10:32,456
"终结者"?
167
00:10:32,792 --> 00:10:33,656
有办法!
168
00:10:35,208 --> 00:10:36,072
有什么办法?
169
00:10:36,667 --> 00:10:40,239
这可算得上是惊天地泣鬼神的绝世妙计
170
00:10:40,375 --> 00:10:43,208
是时候抛头颅 洒热精了
171
00:10:43,708 --> 00:10:45,198
是洒热血吧?
172
00:10:45,458 --> 00:10:46,868
你喜欢出血就出血
173
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,456
我先去准备
174
00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:51,873
那...还信不信他?
175
00:10:52,167 --> 00:10:54,078
信他吃自己 不信他也吃自己
176
00:10:54,208 --> 00:10:55,744
不如赌一把
177
00:10:58,708 --> 00:11:00,039
三条淫虫
178
00:11:02,125 --> 00:11:05,117
我看 这个电机工程系的贱男周星星
179
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:07,366
应该不会就此罢休 他会再来的
180
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,239
那怎么办?
181
00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:09,448
玩弄他吧
182
00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:11,661
说得对 一定要教训那些贱男
183
00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:13,706
如果是你喜欢的那个朗仔呢?
184
00:11:13,833 --> 00:11:15,243
你会不会半推半就?
185
00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:16,657
你们别胡说
186
00:11:16,792 --> 00:11:19,078
我来这里 是要准备毕业考试
187
00:11:19,208 --> 00:11:20,368
其他一概不想
188
00:11:20,542 --> 00:11:22,282
暂时不考虑吧
189
00:11:22,375 --> 00:11:23,364
你别诸多闲事
190
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,661
对不起 iPad没有货
191
00:11:37,792 --> 00:11:38,702
iPhone够你用p拉
192
00:11:38,833 --> 00:11:40,039
星爷 然后怎样?
193
00:11:40,208 --> 00:11:42,870
等妞儿出来 你便有着落了
194
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:44,364
什么声音?
195
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:45,489
去看看
196
00:11:45,833 --> 00:11:46,492
走
197
00:11:53,292 --> 00:11:57,114
地球人听着...地球人听着...
198
00:11:57,292 --> 00:12:00,830
你们的地球将会在2012年毁灭
199
00:12:00,917 --> 00:12:03,249
我们是王八星人 来拯救你们的
200
00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:04,239
真的?
201
00:12:04,375 --> 00:12:05,956
千真万确!
202
00:12:06,083 --> 00:12:08,165
你们快快脱下衣服
203
00:12:08,292 --> 00:12:11,159
我们会将能量粒子射进你们身体
204
00:12:11,250 --> 00:12:15,289
到2012年地球被毁灭时请大叫...
205
00:12:15,417 --> 00:12:16,532
"老公救命呀"
206
00:12:17,083 --> 00:12:19,199
我们就会出来 拯救你
207
00:12:19,208 --> 00:12:20,869
哦
208
00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:30,447
来吧
209
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,949
外面很冷 进来再说来吧
210
00:12:33,042 --> 00:12:34,248
跟我们来吧来吧
211
00:12:34,333 --> 00:12:35,698
走得慢 没鼻孔呀
212
00:12:36,667 --> 00:12:37,577
进来吧
213
00:12:37,917 --> 00:12:38,827
来吧
214
00:12:44,833 --> 00:12:46,073
关灯! 打他们!
215
00:12:46,667 --> 00:12:47,531
怎么了?
216
00:12:47,750 --> 00:12:50,241
别打脸...都别打...不要...不要打...
217
00:12:54,125 --> 00:12:57,037
星爷 你还说今天一定有得吃?
218
00:12:57,375 --> 00:12:59,866
有呀 你没有吃香蕉吗?
219
00:13:00,708 --> 00:13:02,869
好过没得吃
220
00:13:03,958 --> 00:13:05,323
小鬼 那些还要不要?
221
00:13:05,417 --> 00:13:06,247
不要给我
222
00:13:06,375 --> 00:13:08,491
你不要理我呀
223
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,249
星爷 很晒呀
224
00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:17,161
晒得我的小鸟很痛
225
00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:20,663
能晒得像古天乐那样酷 我倒不怕晒
226
00:13:21,208 --> 00:13:22,698
古天乐晒过小鸟吗?
227
00:13:29,917 --> 00:13:30,827
千千
228
00:13:31,917 --> 00:13:32,781
你还没走?
229
00:13:32,958 --> 00:13:34,164
跟同学们做作业项目
230
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:36,206
还有一个星期就考试了 你呢?
231
00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:38,914
我来借参考书
232
00:13:39,042 --> 00:13:39,747
是呀
233
00:13:40,125 --> 00:13:42,207
那天...阿星他们玩得有点过份
234
00:13:42,375 --> 00:13:43,160
你别怪他们
235
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,787
我们也教训了他们 当扯平吧
236
00:13:47,708 --> 00:13:48,993
我回去就骂他们
237
00:13:49,125 --> 00:13:49,830
你要回去啦?
238
00:13:50,625 --> 00:13:51,330
你呢?
239
00:13:52,292 --> 00:13:53,998
那一起坐车回去吧
240
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:55,990
好啊 我帮你
241
00:13:57,875 --> 00:13:58,990
千千!
242
00:13:59,792 --> 00:14:00,781
大哥成?
243
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:02,447
我们不要理他
244
00:14:02,583 --> 00:14:04,164
干嘛一见到我就走呀?
245
00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:05,614
放学了就走嘛
246
00:14:05,750 --> 00:14:06,785
我请你吃意大利菜
247
00:14:07,042 --> 00:14:07,656
我没空
248
00:14:07,792 --> 00:14:09,282
跟他逛街有时间
249
00:14:09,375 --> 00:14:10,455
跟我吃饭就没空
250
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:11,413
你不是吧?
251
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:12,956
喂 人家都说没空了
252
00:14:13,042 --> 00:14:14,498
小子 你欠揍呀?
253
00:14:15,458 --> 00:14:15,992
放手!
254
00:14:16,125 --> 00:14:16,784
痛...你在说谁?
255
00:14:17,083 --> 00:14:18,118
放手...你在说谁?
256
00:14:18,292 --> 00:14:19,031
放...
257
00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:20,782
你再敢搞她 我就描爆你!
258
00:14:20,917 --> 00:14:21,781
行...
259
00:14:23,917 --> 00:14:24,827
走
260
00:14:26,625 --> 00:14:27,580
去吃点东西吧
261
00:14:27,708 --> 00:14:28,868
好朗仔
262
00:14:32,583 --> 00:14:33,789
我有更衣室钥匙
263
00:14:33,917 --> 00:14:35,453
你洗了澡才回去吧
264
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:36,697
行不行呀?
265
00:18:12,542 --> 00:18:13,531
千千 你还没走?
266
00:18:14,542 --> 00:18:15,998
家里热水器坏了
267
00:18:22,333 --> 00:18:23,368
快走
268
00:18:31,875 --> 00:18:33,615
爆了 喷得到处都是
269
00:18:33,833 --> 00:18:35,118
弄得整脸都是红油
270
00:18:35,583 --> 00:18:37,574
今天很奇怪呀!
271
00:18:37,708 --> 00:18:40,245
只闪电不打雷 你们见过吗?
272
00:18:41,042 --> 00:18:42,452
有多奇怪?
273
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:46,323
那边简直是黑色暴雨呀!
274
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:47,531
你看
275
00:18:49,833 --> 00:18:51,789
你好...美女...
276
00:18:51,917 --> 00:18:52,702
嗨!
277
00:18:53,083 --> 00:18:55,495
两个女孩聊天饮酒 有什么好玩?
278
00:18:55,958 --> 00:18:57,619
不如猜拳吧
279
00:18:57,958 --> 00:18:59,573
猜拳有什么好玩?
280
00:18:59,833 --> 00:19:01,039
去你家吧
281
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:06,448
二千六岂不是更好?
282
00:19:06,875 --> 00:19:07,955
二千六?
283
00:19:08,667 --> 00:19:09,622
妓女呀?
284
00:19:09,833 --> 00:19:11,539
我成叔这么帅要召妓
285
00:19:11,667 --> 00:19:12,452
你没病吧?
286
00:19:12,583 --> 00:19:14,369
你没钱就没钱啦
287
00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:16,206
死穷鬼!
288
00:19:17,458 --> 00:19:18,288
你...
289
00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:21,199
走迟半步 我打爆你的胸!
290
00:19:21,208 --> 00:19:22,448
死穷鬼? 走着瞧
291
00:19:51,542 --> 00:19:52,281
什么事?
292
00:20:11,542 --> 00:20:12,952
干嘛? 两个...
293
00:20:13,083 --> 00:20:15,495
没钱开房 搞巷战呀?
294
00:20:16,375 --> 00:20:17,706
不会吧?
295
00:20:20,125 --> 00:20:20,910
别才当着
296
00:20:21,583 --> 00:20:22,948
那你先走过去看看
297
00:20:23,417 --> 00:20:26,079
这里应该是2011年地球的香港
298
00:20:26,250 --> 00:20:28,332
那边有几个人 问问他们
299
00:20:28,417 --> 00:20:29,782
过去看看
300
00:20:30,708 --> 00:20:31,948
会不会是"终结者"?
301
00:20:32,083 --> 00:20:33,198
又是"终结者"?
302
00:20:33,458 --> 00:20:34,117
在拍戏吧打真军呀
303
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:35,080
一起过去看看
304
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:35,906
我先走
305
00:20:40,667 --> 00:20:43,158
这里是2011年地球的香港 地球人?
306
00:20:43,708 --> 00:20:44,868
你别装啦
307
00:20:45,042 --> 00:20:46,623
摄像机藏在哪里?
308
00:20:46,792 --> 00:20:48,453
我们没那么傻 让你偷拍
309
00:20:48,750 --> 00:20:50,957
你是谁呀? 报刊还是电视台?
310
00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:53,366
我们没那么容易让你拍到的
311
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:01,916
这个人智商偏低 十足低等动物
312
00:21:02,375 --> 00:21:05,697
脑子只想着暴力 掠食和性交
313
00:21:06,542 --> 00:21:07,657
如此低等的动物
314
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:10,040
应该早在40年前的地球灭亡了
315
00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:11,660
不明白你在胡扯什么
316
00:21:11,833 --> 00:21:13,869
兄弟 这个鸟晃晃的你来摆平
317
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,581
胸弹弹的就让我来 行 ?
318
00:21:15,750 --> 00:21:16,455
大哥 我们没戏呀?
319
00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:18,578
排队嘛 我完了跟着到你们
320
00:21:18,708 --> 00:21:19,242
又是你先来?
321
00:21:19,375 --> 00:21:21,661
没所谓 大哥向来不碍事
322
00:21:22,083 --> 00:21:23,198
让他先来吧很快的
323
00:21:38,292 --> 00:21:39,907
大哥 误会...误会呀
324
00:21:40,042 --> 00:21:42,158
我约了人...先告辞 你们慢慢玩
325
00:21:42,583 --> 00:21:44,039
你不是想跟我做爱吗?
326
00:21:44,375 --> 00:21:45,490
下次吧 不是不是...
327
00:21:46,125 --> 00:21:47,706
我开玩笑的
328
00:21:47,833 --> 00:21:50,370
你老公那么威武 你一定很幸福
329
00:21:50,542 --> 00:21:52,203
我们开玩笑而已
330
00:21:52,792 --> 00:21:54,874
有没有看见一个叫"未来"的女孩?
331
00:21:54,958 --> 00:21:56,289
她和我们一样没穿衣服的
332
00:21:56,667 --> 00:21:58,328
没有 大哥
333
00:21:58,417 --> 00:21:59,327
地球人
334
00:21:59,583 --> 00:22:01,244
你们不是喜欢以形补形的吗?
335
00:22:01,667 --> 00:22:02,656
吃了它!
336
00:22:10,833 --> 00:22:13,870
她肯定已经到了 要阻止她
337
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:17,037
要穿件衣服 免得引起注意
338
00:22:21,583 --> 00:22:24,825
怎么搞 被打劫呀?
339
00:22:25,833 --> 00:22:28,074
救命啊! 有外星人呀...
340
00:22:30,625 --> 00:22:33,116
看看 你们说买这条裙子好吗?
341
00:22:33,708 --> 00:22:35,164
我看见有一条更漂亮的
342
00:22:36,667 --> 00:22:37,702
怎么会这样?
343
00:22:38,042 --> 00:22:38,701
怎么回事?
344
00:22:38,833 --> 00:22:40,698
一定又是隔壁的男生搞鬼
345
00:22:42,792 --> 00:22:47,161
我们死得很惨啊...
346
00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:52,741
我们是泡不到妞而自杀死的...
347
00:22:54,917 --> 00:22:55,656
真的怕了
348
00:22:55,792 --> 00:22:56,622
我是桥王嘛
349
00:22:56,833 --> 00:22:58,243
要不是我喜欢听Beyond的歌
350
00:22:58,417 --> 00:22:59,657
朱茵我都泡上了
351
00:23:00,333 --> 00:23:01,368
星爷 你好棒啊!
352
00:23:01,583 --> 00:23:02,413
当然
353
00:23:11,792 --> 00:23:12,827
怎么回事?
354
00:23:17,208 --> 00:23:19,665
中招...撒退! 撒! 走啊
355
00:23:22,250 --> 00:23:23,535
女人真毒辣
356
00:23:24,292 --> 00:23:25,281
还不算!
357
00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:39,206
这回又想搞什么?
358
00:23:39,750 --> 00:23:41,661
现在的女人真的很变态
359
00:23:41,833 --> 00:23:43,619
喜欢在家里收藏那么多垃圾桶
360
00:23:43,833 --> 00:23:46,074
我对喜欢收藏三个垃圾桶
361
00:23:46,167 --> 00:23:47,498
在家的女人没有兴趣
362
00:23:47,792 --> 00:23:50,078
今晚她们要受苦了 垃圾不知往哪里扔
363
00:23:50,083 --> 00:23:51,198
就是嘛
364
00:23:51,792 --> 00:23:53,703
为了安慰一下自己和兄弟们
365
00:23:53,833 --> 00:23:56,495
我决定拿我私人珍藏的"波霸叶子媚"
366
00:23:56,625 --> 00:24:00,163
和"金鸟大侠徐锦江"出来给大家欣赏
367
00:24:00,292 --> 00:24:03,329
他们的老年版"玉蒲团之偷情宝鉴"
368
00:24:03,417 --> 00:24:04,497
好正点
369
00:24:04,667 --> 00:24:06,032
一起揣摩吧
370
00:24:08,500 --> 00:24:11,162
算我求求你们 让我读书行吗?
371
00:24:11,292 --> 00:24:13,999
可是 电视机在客厅呀
372
00:24:14,667 --> 00:24:15,122
走吧
373
00:24:15,250 --> 00:24:17,662
随便你们 我回房间睡觉
374
00:24:19,917 --> 00:24:21,032
滚开!
375
00:24:21,417 --> 00:24:23,373
像根木头干嘛 开电视啦
376
00:24:23,458 --> 00:24:24,413
你先走
377
00:24:25,750 --> 00:24:27,661
帮忙拿遥控器呀 还看?
378
00:24:28,708 --> 00:24:29,993
哪有手呀?
379
00:24:42,375 --> 00:24:43,785
夹住 夹住...
380
00:25:30,250 --> 00:25:32,332
请问这里是不是2011年的香港?
381
00:25:32,542 --> 00:25:34,407
小姐 你是谁?
382
00:25:36,500 --> 00:25:37,706
我叫未来
383
00:25:37,875 --> 00:25:40,287
请问这里是不是2011年的香港?
384
00:25:42,125 --> 00:25:43,456
你...
385
00:25:43,583 --> 00:25:44,413
你怎么一丝不挂?
386
00:25:44,542 --> 00:25:45,497
我是坐时光机来的
387
00:25:45,583 --> 00:25:46,789
不能够穿任何衣服
388
00:25:46,875 --> 00:25:47,785
时光机?
389
00:25:48,125 --> 00:25:48,910
是呀
390
00:25:49,125 --> 00:25:52,197
我知道了 是千千派你来的
391
00:25:52,542 --> 00:25:54,658
想耍我 我相信你才怪
392
00:25:55,542 --> 00:25:57,373
快穿上衣服吧
393
00:25:57,542 --> 00:25:59,999
我是2046年联合国派来的代表
394
00:26:00,375 --> 00:26:02,991
坐时光机来找健康男人的精子
395
00:26:03,208 --> 00:26:04,698
为人类传宗接代
396
00:26:04,917 --> 00:26:07,704
我的直觉告诉我 你的身体很健康
397
00:26:07,833 --> 00:26:08,743
让我检查一下
398
00:26:09,042 --> 00:26:09,906
你想干嘛?
399
00:26:10,708 --> 00:26:11,914
她们给你多少钱?
400
00:26:12,583 --> 00:26:13,447
让我检查一下
401
00:26:13,583 --> 00:26:14,288
喂...不要...
402
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,240
我不是那种人!
403
00:26:17,375 --> 00:26:18,865
我真的很想检查一下
404
00:26:20,708 --> 00:26:21,697
你想干什么?
405
00:26:21,833 --> 00:26:23,789
神经病! 我不会相信你的
406
00:26:23,958 --> 00:26:26,165
我房间里有个裸女呀! 操
407
00:26:30,417 --> 00:26:31,122
使劲点
408
00:26:31,208 --> 00:26:32,243
你们干过些什么?
409
00:26:32,417 --> 00:26:33,907
我房间里有个裸女呀
410
00:26:34,125 --> 00:26:35,205
千千她们派来的?
411
00:26:35,625 --> 00:26:36,614
啊...(你在说什么呀?)
412
00:26:36,750 --> 00:26:37,409
你说什么?
413
00:26:37,583 --> 00:26:38,572
不知道他在说什么
414
00:26:39,875 --> 00:26:40,955
他在说我
415
00:26:41,667 --> 00:26:42,873
啊...(你是谁?)
416
00:26:43,042 --> 00:26:45,454
我真的是2046年派来的
417
00:26:45,708 --> 00:26:47,869
人类几乎已经完全失去生殖能力
418
00:26:48,042 --> 00:26:50,875
男的有99% 女的也有80%
419
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,491
我是唯一一个万中挑选的健康女孩
420
00:26:53,875 --> 00:26:54,910
我坐时光机来的
421
00:26:55,042 --> 00:26:57,704
一定要找到一个身体健康的男子交配
422
00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,740
然后为人类传宗接代
423
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,160
你说得像丧尸片一样
424
00:27:01,375 --> 00:27:03,411
不是丧尸 是外星人
425
00:27:03,667 --> 00:27:06,409
"沙卡星球"人向地球放了大量辐射
426
00:27:06,583 --> 00:27:08,198
令我们不能生育
427
00:27:08,542 --> 00:27:10,248
你说成色情电脑游戏一样
428
00:27:10,458 --> 00:27:11,994
你们一定要相信我
429
00:27:12,125 --> 00:27:13,740
而且不可以把我的事向外说
430
00:27:14,083 --> 00:27:16,745
因为"沙卡星球"派了两个杀手来阻止我
431
00:27:16,917 --> 00:27:17,952
一个叫"沙卡1号"
432
00:27:18,042 --> 00:27:19,498
另一个叫"沙卡2号"
433
00:27:19,667 --> 00:27:21,248
他们身上的辐射也很大
434
00:27:21,417 --> 00:27:24,204
一旦被他们强奸 就会失去生育能力
435
00:27:24,375 --> 00:27:25,831
甚至变成白痴
436
00:27:28,542 --> 00:27:31,784
我们如果相信你 我们才是白痴!
437
00:27:32,125 --> 00:27:35,663
啊...
438
00:27:35,875 --> 00:27:37,411
放心 我来帮你
439
00:27:41,250 --> 00:27:43,707
真有点能力 帮我搞定垃圾桶吧
440
00:27:46,125 --> 00:27:46,784
行呀
441
00:27:46,917 --> 00:27:47,622
你肯相信我吗?
442
00:27:47,750 --> 00:27:49,706
不管你信不信 反正我就信
443
00:27:49,833 --> 00:27:51,289
你无非是想找人捐精
444
00:27:51,542 --> 00:27:52,452
这种慈善活动
445
00:27:52,542 --> 00:27:54,453
我一年干过上百次
446
00:27:55,542 --> 00:27:58,079
来吧壮士 我决定牺牲两亿条精虫给你
447
00:27:58,208 --> 00:27:59,368
不过请温柔一点 拜托
448
00:28:08,417 --> 00:28:10,373
很爽 耳垢都没了
449
00:28:10,750 --> 00:28:13,366
你抽烟喝酒 又不吃蔬菜水果
450
00:28:13,500 --> 00:28:15,411
身体吸收了大量垃圾食物
451
00:28:15,542 --> 00:28:16,748
达不到健康要求
452
00:28:16,875 --> 00:28:18,957
而且 你的遗传因子也不够好
453
00:28:19,125 --> 00:28:20,114
我不要你那些了
454
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,116
我爸古九寒 我妈吴系波
455
00:28:23,250 --> 00:28:24,990
分别是亚洲先生和亚洲小姐
456
00:28:25,125 --> 00:28:27,332
你说我的遗传因子不好?
457
00:28:27,958 --> 00:28:30,370
今晚想插他人插不了 反被人插了两下
458
00:28:30,542 --> 00:28:31,827
真失败!
459
00:28:32,042 --> 00:28:34,124
今晚还是留在这儿看叶子媚好了
460
00:28:37,292 --> 00:28:39,374
我要睡了 别烦我
461
00:28:39,625 --> 00:28:41,081
我有话跟你说呀
462
00:28:41,208 --> 00:28:43,790
我没话跟你说 你明明是来耍我的
463
00:28:43,917 --> 00:28:45,828
我真是从2046年来的
464
00:28:46,208 --> 00:28:49,120
你省点吧 当自己是王家卫?
465
00:28:49,375 --> 00:28:50,785
你要怎样才相信我?
466
00:28:51,083 --> 00:28:51,993
怎样都不相信
467
00:28:53,250 --> 00:28:54,456
我已经将门锁上
468
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,537
你在外面坐到天亮 我也不理会你的
469
00:29:04,208 --> 00:29:05,789
你叫完了没有?
470
00:29:05,958 --> 00:29:06,447
鬼呀...
471
00:29:06,542 --> 00:29:07,827
我不是鬼
472
00:29:29,417 --> 00:29:30,782
身体很健康
473
00:29:30,875 --> 00:29:32,740
你的健康指数是97.8
474
00:29:33,167 --> 00:29:34,373
非常理想
475
00:29:34,667 --> 00:29:35,873
你想干嘛?
476
00:29:36,333 --> 00:29:38,870
我想...和你做爱 让我怀孕
477
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,116
这怎么行? 都没有感情基础
478
00:29:41,333 --> 00:29:43,244
我读过2011年的历史
479
00:29:43,375 --> 00:29:46,208
这个年代的人 对性爱比较随便
480
00:29:46,542 --> 00:29:49,158
晚上刚认识 就可以随便做爱
481
00:29:49,625 --> 00:29:50,740
人家是怎样 我不管
482
00:29:51,083 --> 00:29:51,993
我就不可以
483
00:29:52,208 --> 00:29:53,243
太可惜了
484
00:29:53,792 --> 00:29:56,454
喂 你真的不是...
485
00:29:56,542 --> 00:29:58,749
聂小倩呀...狐狸精之类?
486
00:29:59,042 --> 00:30:01,533
我叫未来 来自2046年
487
00:30:01,750 --> 00:30:02,830
未来 那我问你
488
00:30:02,958 --> 00:30:04,539
你们那个年代的科技水平
489
00:30:04,542 --> 00:30:05,452
到了什么程度?
490
00:30:05,792 --> 00:30:07,077
iPhone出到100了吗?
491
00:30:07,333 --> 00:30:08,698
还有iPod iPad呢?
492
00:30:08,917 --> 00:30:11,329
概念不一样 都移植到身体里面
493
00:30:11,417 --> 00:30:13,123
我们要上网...
494
00:30:16,292 --> 00:30:17,532
真酷呀!
495
00:30:17,792 --> 00:30:20,158
真的不想和我做爱 我也不勉强你
496
00:30:20,708 --> 00:30:21,493
但是
497
00:30:21,500 --> 00:30:23,832
有没有跟你一样有健康身体的人呢?
498
00:30:24,125 --> 00:30:25,285
我只能待三天
499
00:30:25,417 --> 00:30:28,124
三天之后 我一定要返回未来
500
00:30:28,250 --> 00:30:31,162
也许...我们可以到学校看看
501
00:30:31,375 --> 00:30:32,160
说真的?
502
00:30:32,292 --> 00:30:34,658
那好 明天你带我回大学
503
00:30:35,250 --> 00:30:37,241
我先睡了 明天带我去
504
00:30:37,417 --> 00:30:38,702
喂...你不能睡这儿
505
00:30:39,167 --> 00:30:40,953
孤男寡女 怎可以共处一室?
506
00:30:42,500 --> 00:30:43,831
对不起
507
00:30:43,958 --> 00:30:45,414
如果我在外面睡...
508
00:30:46,458 --> 00:30:47,823
他们会不会对我...
509
00:30:47,958 --> 00:30:49,243
我不想要不好的因子
510
00:30:49,542 --> 00:30:50,327
有办法
511
00:30:53,125 --> 00:30:55,161
这天台可以反锁 你就睡在这儿
512
00:30:56,083 --> 00:30:57,198
这里很好啊
513
00:30:57,542 --> 00:30:59,908
我喜欢这里 我爱大自然
514
00:31:24,583 --> 00:31:26,494
他怎会跟一个女孩在天台?
515
00:31:26,583 --> 00:31:27,698
刚才我们还...
516
00:31:28,208 --> 00:31:30,369
原来 他也是一个花心萝卜
517
00:31:34,500 --> 00:31:35,535
我感觉到
518
00:31:36,375 --> 00:31:37,740
你感觉到什么?
519
00:31:38,750 --> 00:31:41,207
你的血液...运行快了很多
520
00:31:41,500 --> 00:31:43,912
从大脑 流向你的下体
521
00:31:45,708 --> 00:31:46,663
对不起
522
00:31:47,708 --> 00:31:49,744
你对我有好感 也许...
523
00:31:49,875 --> 00:31:51,661
我们明天就可以完成任务
524
00:31:52,625 --> 00:31:53,410
但是...
525
00:31:53,917 --> 00:31:56,579
未来 我现在相信你真的来自未来
526
00:31:57,458 --> 00:32:00,040
不过 我已经有一个心爱的女孩
527
00:32:00,917 --> 00:32:02,032
这样不太好
528
00:32:03,083 --> 00:32:04,198
好吧
529
00:32:04,542 --> 00:32:06,908
看看明天可否找到一个跟你一样...
530
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:08,456
这么健康的男人
531
00:32:08,583 --> 00:32:09,288
晚安
532
00:32:09,958 --> 00:32:11,118
晚安
533
00:32:21,708 --> 00:32:23,664
你搞什么 像只软脚蟹?
534
00:32:24,083 --> 00:32:25,664
爽呆啦
535
00:32:26,375 --> 00:32:27,535
昨晚一次过看了叶子媚
536
00:32:27,667 --> 00:32:29,453
叶玉卿 叶德娴和叶童的戏
537
00:32:29,583 --> 00:32:30,698
每看一次就致敬一次
538
00:32:30,875 --> 00:32:32,706
搞到精尽人亡啊
539
00:32:32,792 --> 00:32:33,702
叶德娴也行?
540
00:32:33,833 --> 00:32:34,913
叶德娴...叶德娴...
541
00:32:35,042 --> 00:32:36,748
当然不是 是狄娜呀
542
00:32:36,958 --> 00:32:38,414
狄德娴吧?
543
00:32:39,625 --> 00:32:40,660
狄德娴?
544
00:32:41,167 --> 00:32:42,782
狄娜! 起床啦?
545
00:32:43,042 --> 00:32:43,656
吃早餐吧
546
00:32:43,750 --> 00:32:44,660
我帮你
547
00:32:44,917 --> 00:32:45,747
嫂子!
548
00:32:48,250 --> 00:32:49,239
好正点呀
549
00:32:49,625 --> 00:32:50,364
早
550
00:32:51,875 --> 00:32:53,365
好丰富的早餐呀
551
00:32:53,792 --> 00:32:54,406
谁弄的?
552
00:32:54,583 --> 00:32:55,072
嫂子
553
00:32:55,208 --> 00:32:56,288
嫂子?
554
00:32:56,417 --> 00:32:57,497
我看历史才知道
555
00:32:57,667 --> 00:33:00,079
这个年代的人 吃的都是垃圾食物
556
00:33:00,333 --> 00:33:02,790
所以 我一早就出去找食物给你们
557
00:33:03,375 --> 00:33:04,330
未来
558
00:33:05,125 --> 00:33:06,535
你这衣服哪里找的?
559
00:33:06,708 --> 00:33:08,539
好不好看? 我自己做的
560
00:33:09,375 --> 00:33:11,081
朗仔 我们是好兄弟
561
00:33:11,208 --> 00:33:12,948
嫂子搬过来 我们没所谓
562
00:33:13,042 --> 00:33:15,328
不过别弄些古灵精怪的东西吓我们
563
00:33:15,458 --> 00:33:17,870
就是 装神弄鬼都没有好处
564
00:33:18,875 --> 00:33:20,957
其实家里多个女人 我们没问题的
565
00:33:21,333 --> 00:33:22,413
你们在说什么?
566
00:33:22,625 --> 00:33:25,332
我和未来...也是昨晚才认识的
567
00:33:25,458 --> 00:33:26,914
一次生 两次熟
568
00:33:27,083 --> 00:33:29,995
三次打雀局 四次有你骨肉啦
569
00:33:30,125 --> 00:33:30,830
闭咀!
570
00:33:31,333 --> 00:33:32,618
好啦 别吵 别吵...
571
00:33:32,750 --> 00:33:35,116
快吃早餐 我们一起到学校去
572
00:33:36,625 --> 00:33:38,581
跟着上学这么痴情
573
00:33:38,750 --> 00:33:42,538
那就是谢贤和狄波拉 都可以说没事啦
574
00:33:44,500 --> 00:33:46,240
操 那四个妞儿上学了
575
00:33:46,708 --> 00:33:47,697
快跟着
576
00:33:49,833 --> 00:33:50,868
等我呀!
577
00:33:51,958 --> 00:33:53,038
你才是呀
578
00:33:53,292 --> 00:33:55,624
嗨! 这么巧 美女?
579
00:33:56,250 --> 00:33:57,786
我先走 再见
580
00:33:58,292 --> 00:34:00,078
又是他们别理他们
581
00:34:03,458 --> 00:34:04,743
嗨!
582
00:34:06,208 --> 00:34:08,244
去哪儿温习呀 一起吧?
583
00:34:08,625 --> 00:34:10,490
喂 听说你那儿好像...
584
00:34:10,625 --> 00:34:12,115
来了一个美女呀
585
00:34:12,500 --> 00:34:14,582
这么重大的机密 我劝你还是不知为妙
586
00:34:14,708 --> 00:34:17,040
要不然 恐怕你会有生命危险
587
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:20,240
听你这么说...
588
00:34:20,333 --> 00:34:24,326
我做你的女朋友 就不用死了?
589
00:34:24,500 --> 00:34:25,580
这个当然啦
590
00:34:25,708 --> 00:34:28,040
我这人向来只准州官放屁
591
00:34:28,167 --> 00:34:30,328
不准百姓拉屎...的嘛
592
00:34:31,458 --> 00:34:32,243
拷!
593
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,661
他们傻了 别理他们
594
00:34:36,250 --> 00:34:37,615
拷你呀
595
00:34:39,042 --> 00:34:40,452
明知她是这样的
596
00:34:40,583 --> 00:34:42,619
我还是要伸头过去给她插
597
00:34:42,917 --> 00:34:44,327
真失败!
598
00:34:44,667 --> 00:34:45,577
吃蕉吧你
599
00:34:47,917 --> 00:34:49,657
别靠过来 你是同性恋吗?
600
00:34:49,875 --> 00:34:50,580
同性恋
601
00:34:53,333 --> 00:34:54,163
你干嘛?
602
00:34:54,333 --> 00:34:55,413
对不起...
603
00:34:55,792 --> 00:34:56,907
不好意思看什么?
604
00:34:57,042 --> 00:34:59,374
指数才57.1 可能活不到50岁
605
00:35:00,083 --> 00:35:02,369
你别见人就自行检测吧
606
00:35:02,875 --> 00:35:05,582
看中了就告诉我 让我跟人家说
607
00:35:05,750 --> 00:35:06,785
叫人家给你检测
608
00:35:07,125 --> 00:35:09,332
麻烦你下次帮我说 找人给我检测吧
609
00:35:09,667 --> 00:35:10,406
好啊! 闭嘴吧
610
00:35:10,708 --> 00:35:13,074
你们三个家伙 真是死淫虫
611
00:35:13,458 --> 00:35:14,288
你怎这么矛盾?
612
00:35:14,417 --> 00:35:16,248
骂他们 又跟他们一块住
613
00:35:16,750 --> 00:35:20,117
没办法 谁叫他们从小和我一起长大
614
00:35:20,583 --> 00:35:21,948
谁知道长大了会是这样子
615
00:35:22,708 --> 00:35:24,073
我们到那边看看好不好?
616
00:35:24,417 --> 00:35:25,202
好
617
00:35:26,292 --> 00:35:27,873
那天我们遇到两个外星人
618
00:35:28,083 --> 00:35:29,289
幸好我拼命才专斗
619
00:35:29,458 --> 00:35:31,198
帮阿强阿德抢回了两条东西
620
00:35:31,375 --> 00:35:32,490
希望他们能接得上
621
00:35:33,042 --> 00:35:34,202
真的假的?
622
00:35:34,333 --> 00:35:35,539
真的 还生龙活虎呢
623
00:35:35,625 --> 00:35:36,364
那妞儿还叫我做爱
624
00:35:36,458 --> 00:35:37,163
是我不肯
625
00:35:37,583 --> 00:35:38,368
谁叫你做爱呀?
626
00:35:38,500 --> 00:35:39,785
吹牛你不信?
627
00:35:40,250 --> 00:35:41,114
你好...
628
00:35:41,250 --> 00:35:42,740
你好嗨
629
00:35:42,958 --> 00:35:44,243
省点气读书吧
630
00:35:44,417 --> 00:35:46,157
我不会和你吃饭的
631
00:35:46,158 --> 00:35:47,158
喂 我老爸很多钱
632
00:35:47,159 --> 00:35:48,159
不用读书
633
00:35:48,833 --> 00:35:49,993
一出来肯定是CEO啦
634
00:35:50,500 --> 00:35:52,912
不要乱撩女孩子呀 CEO
635
00:35:53,125 --> 00:35:55,286
听说昨晚你差点被人扭断了
636
00:35:55,417 --> 00:35:57,453
再来"深切治疗"都有你的份
637
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:02,410
你们几个臭婆娘 这么跛
638
00:36:02,417 --> 00:36:03,076
我要是操不了你
639
00:36:03,083 --> 00:36:04,493
要你求我让你吮的那种
640
00:36:04,583 --> 00:36:05,572
我就不叫大哥成!
641
00:36:08,958 --> 00:36:11,199
很低分 才13.3分
642
00:36:11,333 --> 00:36:12,368
美女 我是处男呀
643
00:36:12,500 --> 00:36:13,831
给你这么一插 不就破了我的处?
644
00:36:13,958 --> 00:36:14,993
你也要让我破你的才好
645
00:36:15,125 --> 00:36:16,956
去看医生吧 你身体很差
646
00:36:17,458 --> 00:36:18,698
你别走 我说真的
647
00:36:18,875 --> 00:36:20,456
不给我捏两下 你别想离开
648
00:36:20,583 --> 00:36:21,322
来啦
649
00:36:25,792 --> 00:36:26,451
怎么了...
650
00:36:28,292 --> 00:36:28,951
怎么回事?
651
00:36:31,250 --> 00:36:31,989
什么事...
652
00:36:33,708 --> 00:36:34,697
怎回事? 怎回事?
653
00:36:34,792 --> 00:36:35,281
好痛...
654
00:36:35,708 --> 00:36:36,367
痛?
655
00:36:36,792 --> 00:36:37,531
那怎么办?
656
00:36:38,333 --> 00:36:39,197
帮忙呀混蛋!
657
00:36:39,583 --> 00:36:40,572
帮忙? 帮什么忙...
658
00:36:40,792 --> 00:36:41,577
帮忙拔出来?
659
00:36:41,708 --> 00:36:42,868
叫救护车呀! 王八蛋!
660
00:36:48,792 --> 00:36:50,453
"印度性爱宝典"的讲法
661
00:36:50,542 --> 00:36:52,203
一个男人加一个女人...
662
00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:55,162
开房 脱衣 就等于...
663
00:36:55,292 --> 00:36:57,328
做好准备 谈好条件...你好
664
00:36:57,458 --> 00:36:58,038
然后上床
665
00:36:58,250 --> 00:37:00,912
你出水时 我晃了一晃
666
00:37:01,167 --> 00:37:02,282
印度说法就是...
667
00:37:02,417 --> 00:37:04,749
到底...在你们家新来的那个美女
668
00:37:05,167 --> 00:37:06,247
她是什么人?
669
00:37:06,500 --> 00:37:08,582
我不能说...我不可以出卖朋友
670
00:37:10,167 --> 00:37:11,782
真的不可以告诉我?
671
00:37:12,167 --> 00:37:13,156
不可以
672
00:37:13,500 --> 00:37:16,867
上是毛 下是毛 中间有颗黑葡萄
673
00:37:17,458 --> 00:37:19,414
夜晚就会毛对毛
674
00:37:20,417 --> 00:37:21,748
喂
675
00:37:22,708 --> 00:37:23,572
你干什么?
676
00:37:24,292 --> 00:37:26,078
没事...实在太精彩了
677
00:37:26,333 --> 00:37:27,994
想不到这方程式可以是这样的
678
00:37:28,375 --> 00:37:30,411
方程式有很多种 留心点
679
00:37:31,167 --> 00:37:34,534
又例如 你软 我硬
680
00:37:34,917 --> 00:37:36,202
你张开大腿 我上...
681
00:37:37,375 --> 00:37:40,082
说吧 告诉我她是谁
682
00:37:40,500 --> 00:37:42,616
不...不行的
683
00:37:45,292 --> 00:37:47,123
喂 喂...
684
00:37:51,750 --> 00:37:53,706
不要...这儿人很多...
685
00:38:02,083 --> 00:38:03,698
快告诉我吧
686
00:38:04,667 --> 00:38:06,578
不然...我走
687
00:38:08,583 --> 00:38:09,948
死也不说
688
00:38:13,750 --> 00:38:16,287
其实...未来她是外星人来的
689
00:38:18,583 --> 00:38:21,370
你以为你乱扯一通 我就会相信你?
690
00:38:22,375 --> 00:38:23,410
不是不是不是...
691
00:38:23,542 --> 00:38:27,285
其实 未来她是朗仔在北京的表妹
692
00:38:28,458 --> 00:38:30,870
或者握住那条话儿 晃出东西
693
00:38:31,042 --> 00:38:33,704
等一等 还没搞定 你去哪呀?
694
00:38:34,042 --> 00:38:35,077
喂...
695
00:38:35,875 --> 00:38:36,830
你又搞什么?
696
00:38:37,625 --> 00:38:38,910
我...我不行啦...
697
00:38:46,375 --> 00:38:47,785
对...对不起
698
00:38:49,333 --> 00:38:50,789
他们说好像会出这题目
699
00:38:51,208 --> 00:38:51,822
如果是就好了
700
00:38:52,292 --> 00:38:52,906
我查到了
701
00:38:53,042 --> 00:38:53,531
什么?
702
00:38:53,667 --> 00:38:54,372
查到什么?
703
00:38:54,792 --> 00:38:57,864
原来那女孩 是朗仔北京来的表妹
704
00:38:58,083 --> 00:38:59,948
那又怎样? 表妹了不起呀?
705
00:39:01,583 --> 00:39:03,039
管人家那么多干嘛?
706
00:39:03,375 --> 00:39:05,457
要男人的话 到处都有
707
00:39:07,500 --> 00:39:08,034
糟了
708
00:39:08,583 --> 00:39:09,572
什么意思?
709
00:39:09,750 --> 00:39:11,911
很明显 越装成没事就越大件事
710
00:39:12,083 --> 00:39:13,573
我看她跟朗仔是认真的
711
00:39:14,167 --> 00:39:14,997
那怎么办?
712
00:39:16,167 --> 00:39:16,952
什么叫姊妹?
713
00:39:17,083 --> 00:39:18,869
怎样也要帮千千夺回朗仔!
714
00:39:19,125 --> 00:39:19,705
走吧
715
00:39:19,833 --> 00:39:20,663
对! 走
716
00:39:22,792 --> 00:39:23,702
学人拱桥
717
00:39:24,792 --> 00:39:25,872
走 出发来吧
718
00:39:26,792 --> 00:39:28,123
天气热 喝杯果汁
719
00:39:28,333 --> 00:39:30,574
嫂子贤淑 我们做兄弟真的无话可说
720
00:39:30,792 --> 00:39:31,326
别开玩笑了
721
00:39:32,167 --> 00:39:34,283
跑一个小时回来 我刚好弄好晚饭
722
00:39:35,625 --> 00:39:37,490
嫂子万岁! 嫂子万岁!
723
00:39:45,417 --> 00:39:47,453
原来她和几个小子住在一起
724
00:39:47,625 --> 00:39:50,037
就是小孩子玩积木 任砌了
725
00:40:16,625 --> 00:40:19,037
正点呀...这次饱啦
726
00:40:22,917 --> 00:40:25,033
美人春睡 引我犯罪
727
00:40:25,208 --> 00:40:26,823
小弟 有好的吃了
728
00:40:37,500 --> 00:40:40,458
你别叫 我很容易出的
729
00:40:41,250 --> 00:40:42,330
射到地板给蟑螂
730
00:40:42,417 --> 00:40:43,998
不如给你
731
00:40:45,042 --> 00:40:46,873
快点...快点...
732
00:40:51,875 --> 00:40:52,830
你干什么?
733
00:40:56,458 --> 00:40:58,039
未来...未来...
734
00:40:58,958 --> 00:41:00,869
阻人做爱 断子绝孙
735
00:41:02,458 --> 00:41:03,447
好急...
736
00:41:03,833 --> 00:41:05,289
等我放了再收拾你!
737
00:41:06,167 --> 00:41:07,282
你们干什么?
738
00:41:07,750 --> 00:41:09,081
他想强奸你!
739
00:41:09,292 --> 00:41:10,452
你不就是学校那个人?
740
00:41:10,708 --> 00:41:11,993
打死你有得搞 打不死你没得搞呀
741
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:17,206
又...又来?
742
00:41:26,792 --> 00:41:27,451
怎回事?
743
00:41:27,583 --> 00:41:29,039
未来用超能力控制住他的手
744
00:41:31,625 --> 00:41:32,705
可以动了
745
00:41:33,833 --> 00:41:35,494
看什么 没见过帅哥吗?
746
00:41:35,958 --> 00:41:37,949
没见过小鸟打结而已
747
00:41:38,083 --> 00:41:38,868
打结?
748
00:41:45,333 --> 00:41:45,867
流出来了
749
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:46,830
流什么?
750
00:41:47,625 --> 00:41:48,580
走开
751
00:41:50,042 --> 00:41:51,327
现在什么情况呀?
752
00:42:01,333 --> 00:42:03,244
干嘛在这儿发呆?
753
00:42:04,042 --> 00:42:05,157
我哪有呀?
754
00:42:05,792 --> 00:42:06,998
你以为吃定了朗仔
755
00:42:07,083 --> 00:42:08,289
没想到来了个劲敌
756
00:42:08,417 --> 00:42:09,452
现在志志不安吧
757
00:42:09,833 --> 00:42:10,993
哪里呀
758
00:42:11,292 --> 00:42:12,998
你不用再骗我们了
759
00:42:13,208 --> 00:42:16,200
我们是好姊妹 一定会帮你的
760
00:42:16,375 --> 00:42:17,660
我们去勾引他三个兄弟
761
00:42:17,792 --> 00:42:19,077
给他压力不就行了
762
00:42:19,292 --> 00:42:21,157
那个女孩的确很可爱
763
00:42:21,375 --> 00:42:22,410
拜托你 主动点吧
764
00:42:22,625 --> 00:42:24,081
对 现在什么年代了
765
00:42:24,250 --> 00:42:25,786
等人家追 不如主动出击
766
00:42:26,208 --> 00:42:27,414
那是什么?
767
00:42:27,750 --> 00:42:28,739
到他家去
768
00:42:28,875 --> 00:42:30,740
宣示主权 正面挑战
769
00:42:30,833 --> 00:42:32,789
男人最爱一脚踩两船
770
00:42:32,875 --> 00:42:33,785
拖拖拉拉...
771
00:42:33,917 --> 00:42:34,747
去迫他作出选择
772
00:42:34,875 --> 00:42:35,830
如果他不选我呢?
773
00:42:36,083 --> 00:42:37,539
那就是他没眼光
774
00:42:37,708 --> 00:42:39,824
没眼光的男人 让他滚蛋歇着吧
775
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:52,080
未来
776
00:42:53,375 --> 00:42:54,490
干嘛?
777
00:42:55,083 --> 00:42:57,540
我来向你道歉的
778
00:42:59,125 --> 00:43:00,865
留你在家里 对不起
779
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:02,911
还差点被大哥成强奸了你
780
00:43:04,250 --> 00:43:04,864
对不起
781
00:43:04,958 --> 00:43:06,414
不要紧 我有超能力
782
00:43:06,542 --> 00:43:08,533
就算被不健康的精子入侵
783
00:43:08,542 --> 00:43:09,748
我也可以把它逼出来
784
00:43:10,042 --> 00:43:12,374
不过 如果被"沙卡"1强奸的话
785
00:43:12,500 --> 00:43:14,331
就会破坏我整个生育机能
786
00:43:14,500 --> 00:43:15,831
那我就等于废了
787
00:43:16,500 --> 00:43:18,616
这就是他们来2011年的目的
788
00:43:18,958 --> 00:43:20,368
那刚才怎么会突然晕倒?
789
00:43:20,542 --> 00:43:22,032
因为刚才我看见一只老鼠
790
00:43:22,167 --> 00:43:22,826
老鼠?
791
00:43:23,042 --> 00:43:25,954
我们那个时代 老鼠因为辐射变得很大
792
00:43:26,083 --> 00:43:28,199
所以 我见到老鼠就害怕
793
00:43:28,333 --> 00:43:29,322
冈"才吓了一跳
794
00:43:29,458 --> 00:43:31,540
体内的电脑装置短路了
795
00:43:31,875 --> 00:43:33,740
不过还好 我有重新敔动的功能
796
00:43:33,958 --> 00:43:35,539
那你怎么可以控制他的身体?
797
00:43:35,917 --> 00:43:38,078
因为我的脑电波比你们强很多
798
00:43:38,292 --> 00:43:40,453
所以 可以控制你们的脑
799
00:43:40,583 --> 00:43:41,743
指挥你们的身体
800
00:43:44,042 --> 00:43:44,906
那...
801
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:48,331
如果是...
802
00:43:48,500 --> 00:43:49,785
要人家爱上你呢?
803
00:43:50,208 --> 00:43:51,994
爱是一种很复杂的东西
804
00:43:52,458 --> 00:43:54,574
再大的能量也无法控制
805
00:43:55,250 --> 00:43:56,410
例如 我可以弄死你
806
00:43:56,542 --> 00:43:58,498
但是 就无法控制你的意志
807
00:43:58,875 --> 00:43:59,580
还好...
808
00:44:00,208 --> 00:44:04,121
如果 有一种方法可以把人洗脑
809
00:44:04,458 --> 00:44:05,538
令人失去意志
810
00:44:05,667 --> 00:44:07,248
做人也没有意思了
811
00:44:08,250 --> 00:44:09,956
放心吧 外星人科技那样发达
812
00:44:10,083 --> 00:44:11,994
他们也无法控制人的意志
813
00:44:13,583 --> 00:44:15,915
未来 今天找到适合人选没有?
814
00:44:16,500 --> 00:44:18,536
还没有 但我会再努力
815
00:44:18,667 --> 00:44:20,157
来 先吃饭吧
816
00:44:21,667 --> 00:44:22,622
偷吃? 偷吃?
817
00:44:22,750 --> 00:44:23,660
你没有?
818
00:44:23,833 --> 00:44:24,538
吃饭吧
819
00:44:24,958 --> 00:44:25,663
让我来
820
00:44:25,833 --> 00:44:26,788
肥到你吐血呀
821
00:44:26,958 --> 00:44:27,538
正点
822
00:44:29,042 --> 00:44:29,656
是咸了点
823
00:44:29,667 --> 00:44:31,077
嗨! 嗨
824
00:44:31,375 --> 00:44:31,989
我们做了蛋糕
825
00:44:32,167 --> 00:44:33,031
过来一起吃吧 是她们...
826
00:44:33,208 --> 00:44:34,038
嗨! 嗨
827
00:44:34,583 --> 00:44:35,163
你好!
828
00:44:36,417 --> 00:44:37,497
过来 过来坐
829
00:44:41,042 --> 00:44:42,077
好丰富呀
830
00:44:43,333 --> 00:44:45,324
有朋友来? 要不要加菜?
831
00:44:45,500 --> 00:44:46,615
不用了 我们吃过了
832
00:44:46,750 --> 00:44:47,830
过来一起吃蛋糕而已
833
00:44:48,500 --> 00:44:49,410
那大家一起吃吧
834
00:44:49,750 --> 00:44:50,364
好呀
835
00:44:50,542 --> 00:44:51,372
你也过来吃吧
836
00:44:52,458 --> 00:44:53,789
吃 吃吧事态严重了
837
00:44:53,958 --> 00:44:55,539
多吃点
838
00:44:56,667 --> 00:44:57,531
这个正点
839
00:44:58,000 --> 00:44:59,285
干杯!
840
00:45:02,250 --> 00:45:04,161
我要吃蛋糕
841
00:45:04,167 --> 00:45:05,031
喝东西吧 我也要
842
00:45:05,500 --> 00:45:06,330
快吃吧
843
00:45:06,875 --> 00:45:08,411
这蛋糕好吃 是不是你弄的?
844
00:45:09,458 --> 00:45:11,369
你吃吧
845
00:45:15,625 --> 00:45:16,455
多放点...
846
00:45:16,583 --> 00:45:17,663
弄死他们 这次还不死?
847
00:45:17,667 --> 00:45:19,328
春心荡漾散
848
00:45:20,500 --> 00:45:21,080
来呀
849
00:45:21,167 --> 00:45:21,826
猜拳吧
850
00:45:22,083 --> 00:45:23,664
试一口 谁淫荡呀 你淫荡
851
00:45:23,875 --> 00:45:25,911
我喝 谁淫荡呀 我淫荡
852
00:45:26,083 --> 00:45:26,697
吃多点
853
00:45:27,083 --> 00:45:28,038
喝! 你输了
854
00:45:28,167 --> 00:45:29,156
再来 不用了
855
00:45:29,292 --> 00:45:29,906
再来...
856
00:45:31,208 --> 00:45:32,072
你们吃吧
857
00:45:32,292 --> 00:45:32,951
为什么不吃?
858
00:45:33,083 --> 00:45:34,323
谁淫荡呀 你淫荡
859
00:45:34,583 --> 00:45:35,914
谁淫荡呀 我淫荡
860
00:45:37,917 --> 00:45:38,531
喝!
861
00:45:39,250 --> 00:45:40,035
你输了 快喝呀
862
00:45:40,167 --> 00:45:40,906
又是我吃?
863
00:45:41,250 --> 00:45:42,285
很美味
864
00:45:42,917 --> 00:45:44,373
我们来玩"真心话"
865
00:45:44,583 --> 00:45:45,413
好呀! 好...
866
00:45:45,542 --> 00:45:47,248
好!
867
00:45:48,958 --> 00:45:50,664
转吧星爷 快点
868
00:45:51,208 --> 00:45:52,323
你输 你回答
869
00:45:54,042 --> 00:45:55,202
怎么玩呀? 你第一个呀
870
00:45:55,625 --> 00:45:56,489
听我说 听我说
871
00:45:56,667 --> 00:45:58,157
老实回答一个问题
872
00:45:58,333 --> 00:45:59,869
不准撒谎 不准不答
873
00:46:00,042 --> 00:46:02,203
如果不想答 就罚你一件事
874
00:46:02,917 --> 00:46:03,622
好啊
875
00:46:04,417 --> 00:46:06,157
你和朗仔有没有上过床?
876
00:46:06,833 --> 00:46:07,948
没有
877
00:46:08,208 --> 00:46:09,288
没有...没有呀
878
00:46:11,875 --> 00:46:12,830
再来
879
00:46:12,833 --> 00:46:13,663
再来 再来
880
00:46:14,792 --> 00:46:15,907
转好紧张呀
881
00:46:16,042 --> 00:46:16,906
又是你输
882
00:46:17,042 --> 00:46:18,122
又是我?
883
00:46:18,833 --> 00:46:19,788
你从哪里来的?
884
00:46:20,750 --> 00:46:22,741
我是从2046年来的
885
00:46:22,917 --> 00:46:25,033
我来的目的 是找健康基因
886
00:46:26,750 --> 00:46:29,412
目害编 我们才不相信你
887
00:46:29,583 --> 00:46:31,665
罚你去我们那儿
888
00:46:31,792 --> 00:46:33,407
试穿我们四人的所有衣服
889
00:46:33,958 --> 00:46:34,947
我说的都是真的!
890
00:46:35,125 --> 00:46:35,739
别说了
891
00:46:35,958 --> 00:46:37,949
要到我们那边试完我们的衣服才能走
892
00:46:38,250 --> 00:46:39,285
换衣服啦
893
00:46:39,792 --> 00:46:40,577
我也要试
894
00:46:40,750 --> 00:46:42,661
快去换衣服吧
895
00:46:43,875 --> 00:46:44,830
你输左呀 过来吧
896
00:46:44,958 --> 00:46:45,697
不要
897
00:46:49,250 --> 00:46:50,330
谁淫荡呀?
898
00:46:50,667 --> 00:46:52,578
这件衣服很漂亮很衬你 喜欢吗?
899
00:46:54,042 --> 00:46:55,122
这件好不好看?
900
00:46:55,583 --> 00:46:56,493
好
901
00:46:58,917 --> 00:47:00,908
搞他不要搞我 我不搞基
902
00:47:01,125 --> 00:47:02,865
不才高 不才高基...走呀
903
00:47:05,042 --> 00:47:06,122
走 走啦
904
00:47:06,458 --> 00:47:07,243
谁淫荡呀?
905
00:47:11,875 --> 00:47:13,035
过来
906
00:47:14,292 --> 00:47:15,782
怎么办...那三个过来了
907
00:47:15,958 --> 00:47:17,323
我们要帮千千争取多点时间
908
00:47:17,458 --> 00:47:19,119
你们快去拖住他们 走
909
00:47:22,958 --> 00:47:24,619
喂! 美女...
910
00:47:25,958 --> 00:47:29,030
你们带走未来 也不回来
911
00:47:29,208 --> 00:47:30,744
什么道理?
912
00:47:31,125 --> 00:47:33,286
我们俩不就在这嘛 想怎样?
913
00:47:33,458 --> 00:47:34,072
我们想...
914
00:47:34,208 --> 00:47:35,664
做作业!
915
00:47:37,125 --> 00:47:38,285
你想...
916
00:47:38,542 --> 00:47:39,657
你就过来吧
917
00:47:40,708 --> 00:47:42,664
今晚你们饱啦
918
00:47:45,708 --> 00:47:47,289
活该
919
00:47:50,417 --> 00:47:52,078
刚才三对二 分不均
920
00:47:52,208 --> 00:47:54,324
现在二对二 好极了
921
00:47:54,500 --> 00:47:55,831
耶!
922
00:47:56,542 --> 00:47:58,282
你穿这件衣服好漂亮啊
923
00:47:59,042 --> 00:48:00,122
还有多少件呀?
924
00:48:00,292 --> 00:48:02,874
衣服漂亮 再试二十件还行呢
925
00:48:16,333 --> 00:48:17,698
等一等
926
00:48:19,542 --> 00:48:20,577
你去那裹?
927
00:48:26,917 --> 00:48:28,703
请你吃蛋糕
928
00:48:41,792 --> 00:48:42,702
你干嘛?
929
00:48:43,292 --> 00:48:44,202
过来吧
930
00:48:45,042 --> 00:48:46,077
随便吧
931
00:49:58,417 --> 00:49:59,748
别弄乱我的头发
932
00:50:04,375 --> 00:50:05,535
月兑了它
933
00:50:11,292 --> 00:50:12,247
过来吧
934
00:50:18,875 --> 00:50:19,910
来吧
935
00:50:51,500 --> 00:50:52,615
好痛啊!
936
00:50:53,333 --> 00:50:54,368
怎么了?
937
00:50:55,333 --> 00:50:56,493
我第一次呀
938
00:50:58,208 --> 00:51:00,995
这么巧 我今天也是第一次呀
939
00:54:08,458 --> 00:54:09,447
我要走了
940
00:54:09,667 --> 00:54:11,999
别走 我还有很多 过来试吧
941
00:54:12,125 --> 00:54:13,410
你们在耍我 不玩了
942
00:54:14,083 --> 00:54:15,789
你不要走 你走不得...
943
00:54:15,875 --> 00:54:17,081
你不可以走呀
944
00:54:23,167 --> 00:54:25,453
怎么会这样子?
945
00:54:28,292 --> 00:54:29,782
好痛呀!
946
00:54:36,417 --> 00:54:37,076
妈的
947
00:54:41,083 --> 00:54:42,448
没得吃 还被踹了一脚
948
00:54:42,583 --> 00:54:44,039
真是没天理呀!
949
00:55:17,167 --> 00:55:18,748
对不起
950
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:22,241
来之前 听老人家说
951
00:55:22,375 --> 00:55:24,206
爱情 是最伤人的
952
00:55:24,333 --> 00:55:26,745
千万不要爱上2011年的人
953
00:55:26,875 --> 00:55:27,830
我现在明白了
954
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:30,286
原来 我真的爱上这个男子
955
00:55:30,458 --> 00:55:31,664
我的心好酸
956
00:55:33,875 --> 00:55:35,957
轻点 那是我的子孙根呀
957
00:55:36,042 --> 00:55:38,579
大哥 会转弯的我见过
958
00:55:38,750 --> 00:55:41,537
打结这么厉害的 我还没见过呢
959
00:55:41,625 --> 00:55:43,616
我去你的! 好痛呀...
960
00:55:43,708 --> 00:55:44,663
大哥 你想怎样?
961
00:55:44,917 --> 00:55:47,499
大力点你喊痛 轻点你又兴奋得很
962
00:55:47,750 --> 00:55:50,583
你射了两次啦 满手都是呀
963
00:55:50,708 --> 00:55:53,245
那怎样 要不要给你代支?
964
00:55:53,375 --> 00:55:55,741
不行呀大哥 你去看医生吧
965
00:55:56,125 --> 00:55:58,081
看什么医生? 跌打好不好?
966
00:55:58,250 --> 00:55:59,160
去看急症!
967
00:55:59,333 --> 00:56:01,870
跟他们说...
968
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:04,742
那女的会吹波...会这样那样...
969
00:56:04,875 --> 00:56:06,206
总之 搞到你打了结
970
00:56:06,917 --> 00:56:08,123
这你也想到?
971
00:56:08,750 --> 00:56:10,160
好家伙
972
00:56:10,625 --> 00:56:11,831
快去死吧你!
973
00:56:11,958 --> 00:56:13,448
要是被记者拍照 登了头条
974
00:56:13,542 --> 00:56:15,328
我以后还可以出来混?
975
00:56:15,458 --> 00:56:16,664
不是呀 大哥
976
00:56:16,875 --> 00:56:18,115
谁搞成你这样的?
977
00:56:19,042 --> 00:56:20,828
就是那天学校遇见的小美媚
978
00:56:20,958 --> 00:56:22,789
原来她有超能力的
979
00:56:22,917 --> 00:56:24,703
那天我跟她回家 想上她
980
00:56:25,333 --> 00:56:26,368
没想到她手指一指
981
00:56:26,500 --> 00:56:29,287
指着我的小鸟摇呀晃呀...
982
00:56:29,417 --> 00:56:31,078
不知怎的就打了个结
983
00:56:31,708 --> 00:56:32,914
那个女孩在哪?
984
00:56:33,083 --> 00:56:34,448
谁呀?
985
00:56:36,125 --> 00:56:37,990
又是你两位呀?
986
00:56:38,917 --> 00:56:41,989
快告诉我们 有超能力的女孩在哪里?
987
00:56:42,167 --> 00:56:43,953
她现在...和我的同学在一起...
988
00:56:44,083 --> 00:56:45,744
一起睡觉
989
00:56:45,875 --> 00:56:46,864
带我们去!
990
00:56:47,458 --> 00:56:48,789
他俩是谁?
991
00:56:49,417 --> 00:56:51,078
追债的 揍他!
992
00:56:59,042 --> 00:57:00,703
我乳头那么小 别搞
993
00:57:01,292 --> 00:57:02,031
不要...
994
00:57:03,042 --> 00:57:03,827
不要停呀...
995
00:57:04,750 --> 00:57:05,830
不要停呀...
996
00:57:09,875 --> 00:57:10,910
为什么会变成这样?
997
00:57:11,458 --> 00:57:12,789
为什么会长出花?
998
00:57:13,958 --> 00:57:15,164
才商不掉?
999
00:57:15,333 --> 00:57:16,789
是我们星球的夺命怪花
1000
00:57:17,125 --> 00:57:18,990
它已经长在你身体里面
1001
00:57:19,208 --> 00:57:21,870
如果我们不帮你解毒 在70小时之后
1002
00:57:21,958 --> 00:57:23,914
你就会变成一朵外星怪花
1003
00:57:25,875 --> 00:57:27,160
那不就是生花柳?
1004
00:57:27,292 --> 00:57:28,702
医生!
1005
00:57:29,333 --> 00:57:30,448
低等动物
1006
00:57:30,583 --> 00:57:33,290
跟踪夺命花的信号就可以找到他
1007
00:57:34,583 --> 00:57:35,789
长官 是真的
1008
00:57:35,917 --> 00:57:37,453
我被那两个外星人吮两个乳头
1009
00:57:37,542 --> 00:57:38,873
吮着吮着 不知怎的就搞成这样
1010
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:41,707
恐怕是生花柳了 你相信我吧
1011
00:57:41,833 --> 00:57:44,370
生花柳...我相信
1012
00:57:44,625 --> 00:57:47,367
外星人嘛 你知道我是谁吗?
1013
00:57:47,583 --> 00:57:48,538
未请教
1014
00:57:48,708 --> 00:57:51,871
我就是光头神探秃鹰!
1015
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:54,241
我最厉害的就是鹰爪功!
1016
00:57:54,458 --> 00:57:56,414
歹徒最怕见到我了
1017
00:57:56,625 --> 00:57:58,456
那你到底信不信我呀?
1018
00:57:58,583 --> 00:57:59,618
你来报案
1019
00:57:59,792 --> 00:58:02,625
说给外星人搞到你生花柳
1020
00:58:02,792 --> 00:58:04,032
还打了个结
1021
00:58:04,208 --> 00:58:05,493
你叫我怎么相信你呀?
1022
00:58:05,625 --> 00:58:06,205
你相信我吧...
1023
00:58:06,292 --> 00:58:07,407
你不信 我掏出来给你看
1024
00:58:07,583 --> 00:58:08,413
坐下!
1025
00:58:09,042 --> 00:58:10,703
干什么? 想露械?
1026
00:58:10,875 --> 00:58:11,785
信不信我轰了你?
1027
00:58:11,958 --> 00:58:12,697
不要...
1028
00:58:14,333 --> 00:58:15,869
就是这两个外星人呀
1029
00:58:19,542 --> 00:58:20,998
刀...刀枪不入?
1030
00:58:21,542 --> 00:58:22,657
你现在信了吧?
1031
00:58:23,750 --> 00:58:25,706
地球人的火力就这么弱?
1032
00:58:26,042 --> 00:58:27,282
真对不起
1033
00:58:27,500 --> 00:58:28,865
这些小意思
1034
00:58:29,583 --> 00:58:30,663
我来自我介绍
1035
00:58:30,792 --> 00:58:33,204
我就是光头神探 秃鹰!
1036
00:58:34,708 --> 00:58:36,869
你男人那么像日本AV
1037
00:58:37,083 --> 00:58:39,324
那个男优加藤鹰?
1038
00:58:39,792 --> 00:58:42,124
你鹰我也鹰 大家都是鹰
1039
00:58:42,500 --> 00:58:44,411
自己人 随便...
1040
00:58:44,542 --> 00:58:45,327
带他走 带他走
1041
00:58:47,042 --> 00:58:48,327
未来在哪里?
1042
00:58:48,667 --> 00:58:50,077
我知道她住在哪里
1043
00:58:50,500 --> 00:58:52,491
我带你去 你不要杀我
1044
00:58:52,625 --> 00:58:54,035
是啊! 走吧走吧
1045
00:58:54,208 --> 00:58:57,075
迟了就搭不到地铁 快点 拜拜
1046
00:58:58,167 --> 00:58:59,577
你这么帅 一起去
1047
00:59:00,333 --> 00:59:01,743
不去...行不行呀?
1048
00:59:01,917 --> 00:59:03,828
如果你不去 我就扭断你
1049
00:59:05,792 --> 00:59:07,077
你们怎么可以这样对她?
1050
00:59:07,208 --> 00:59:08,323
她有任务在身
1051
00:59:11,833 --> 00:59:13,414
你不要责怪她们
1052
00:59:14,083 --> 00:59:17,655
都是我不好 怪我一个好了
1053
00:59:18,125 --> 00:59:19,911
我...我不是怪你
1054
00:59:20,875 --> 00:59:23,491
只是 我觉得未来她很可怜
1055
00:59:23,625 --> 00:59:25,957
外面还有两个很危险的外星人在找她
1056
00:59:26,958 --> 00:59:28,949
万一被他们抓走 那如何是好?
1057
00:59:30,667 --> 00:59:32,453
她真的是来自未来世界的人?
1058
00:59:32,625 --> 00:59:34,035
她真的有超能力呀
1059
00:59:34,167 --> 00:59:35,327
她一指着我的手
1060
00:59:35,750 --> 00:59:37,581
我的手就自己描自己了
1061
00:59:37,708 --> 00:59:38,914
好痛呀
1062
00:59:39,167 --> 00:59:40,202
我要赶紧去找她
1063
00:59:41,750 --> 00:59:43,206
这里昨晚只有我一个是处男
1064
00:59:43,333 --> 00:59:44,368
肯定是最有彩头那个
1065
00:59:44,500 --> 00:59:45,410
就让我帮忙找她吧
1066
00:59:45,583 --> 00:59:46,413
那一起去吧
1067
00:59:46,625 --> 00:59:47,580
女的有没有代表?
1068
00:59:49,542 --> 00:59:50,657
这事是我搞出来的
1069
00:59:51,583 --> 00:59:52,322
我去吧
1070
00:59:52,667 --> 00:59:53,497
那就快点
1071
00:59:57,958 --> 00:59:58,947
有没有搞错?
1072
00:59:59,042 --> 01:00:01,454
连珍珍也跟他们出去
1073
01:00:01,958 --> 01:00:04,449
别担心 我们俩永远站在你那边
1074
01:00:06,375 --> 01:00:08,411
一个男人的心不在你那儿
1075
01:00:08,542 --> 01:00:10,078
你做什么都没用
1076
01:00:10,333 --> 01:00:13,370
他要走就走 不管他是不是说真话
1077
01:00:13,750 --> 01:00:16,162
总之 这次我输了
1078
01:00:21,833 --> 01:00:24,119
小妹妹 不认得我啦?
1079
01:00:27,250 --> 01:00:28,535
未来在哪?
1080
01:00:30,208 --> 01:00:31,118
她走了
1081
01:00:31,250 --> 01:00:32,205
去哪了?
1082
01:00:32,375 --> 01:00:33,239
你们是什么人?
1083
01:00:33,792 --> 01:00:35,202
再不走 我报警了
1084
01:00:37,583 --> 01:00:40,165
你们是...外星人?
1085
01:00:42,500 --> 01:00:44,240
朗仔在哪里?
1086
01:00:44,375 --> 01:00:45,285
我不会说的
1087
01:00:45,417 --> 01:00:46,497
那我就来了
1088
01:00:50,667 --> 01:00:52,908
跟我做完爱 你们就会说
1089
01:00:53,167 --> 01:00:55,032
到时候你们会变成性丧尸
1090
01:00:55,167 --> 01:00:56,452
听我的话
1091
01:01:04,750 --> 01:01:05,785
不要...
1092
01:01:05,958 --> 01:01:08,244
不要什么? 现在是你在享受呀
1093
01:01:08,417 --> 01:01:09,532
不要...
1094
01:01:09,792 --> 01:01:11,578
哪里不要...这里不要? 不要...
1095
01:01:12,125 --> 01:01:13,331
哪里不要呀? 不要...
1096
01:01:16,625 --> 01:01:17,330
不要...
1097
01:01:28,750 --> 01:01:29,739
不要...
1098
01:01:37,792 --> 01:01:41,159
不要过来呀...不要...
1099
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:47,955
什么来的?
1100
01:01:48,042 --> 01:01:48,701
是我弟弟
1101
01:01:49,708 --> 01:01:51,699
好大呀
1102
01:01:52,875 --> 01:01:53,614
不要过来呀
1103
01:01:53,750 --> 01:01:54,580
来吧...
1104
01:01:55,125 --> 01:01:56,706
来吧...不要...
1105
01:01:56,833 --> 01:01:58,118
不要过来呀 来吧
1106
01:01:58,250 --> 01:01:58,955
不要...
1107
01:02:02,125 --> 01:02:04,366
我要进来了
1108
01:02:11,208 --> 01:02:14,166
不要呀 不要呀...
1109
01:03:17,875 --> 01:03:19,866
你是女人 可以对我怎样?
1110
01:03:24,792 --> 01:03:27,750
我们"沙卡星球"人 都是雌雄同体
1111
01:04:08,125 --> 01:04:12,073
这是你最后一次做爱 好好享受吧
1112
01:05:17,250 --> 01:05:18,239
不要...
1113
01:05:19,833 --> 01:05:20,822
不要...
1114
01:06:07,958 --> 01:06:10,495
她体内已经有我的基因
1115
01:06:10,583 --> 01:06:13,700
她们以后就会听从我的指挥
1116
01:06:15,333 --> 01:06:16,243
大哥
1117
01:06:16,375 --> 01:06:19,242
搞了一半不搞 半天吊好惨呀
1118
01:06:19,792 --> 01:06:21,328
我让你搞吧
1119
01:06:34,500 --> 01:06:36,832
为什么找个健康男人都这么难?
1120
01:06:37,750 --> 01:06:40,662
几乎没有一个没碰过有毒物质
1121
01:06:41,667 --> 01:06:44,579
我只剩下几小时 怎么办?
1122
01:06:47,542 --> 01:06:48,657
快快快...
1123
01:06:49,750 --> 01:06:50,739
我们进去 你走那边
1124
01:06:50,875 --> 01:06:51,830
我回去撒尿
1125
01:06:52,083 --> 01:06:53,038
讨厌 走
1126
01:06:54,458 --> 01:06:55,243
教授 教授...
1127
01:06:55,375 --> 01:06:56,740
你又想射我的脸?
1128
01:06:56,833 --> 01:06:58,164
不是 我要找人呀
1129
01:06:58,333 --> 01:06:59,322
你要找谁?
1130
01:06:59,583 --> 01:07:00,493
有没有看见...
1131
01:07:00,500 --> 01:07:02,286
这么高这么大 挺漂亮的女孩?
1132
01:07:02,667 --> 01:07:03,702
你是不是傻了?
1133
01:07:03,875 --> 01:07:06,537
学校里有成千上万这种类型的女孩
1134
01:07:07,792 --> 01:07:10,158
那倒是 好吧 谢谢你
1135
01:07:10,542 --> 01:07:12,407
你别再打飞机啦 不健康呀
1136
01:07:12,500 --> 01:07:13,455
很久没做了
1137
01:07:20,958 --> 01:07:21,993
未来!
1138
01:07:24,375 --> 01:07:26,081
我找你找得很苦!
1139
01:07:26,208 --> 01:07:28,119
你不是和千千在一起吗?
1140
01:07:30,083 --> 01:07:32,665
其实那天晚上 她们在蛋糕里放了迷药
1141
01:07:32,958 --> 01:07:34,823
我兴奋过度 不知做过什么
1142
01:07:35,458 --> 01:07:36,447
我现在想清楚了
1143
01:07:37,875 --> 01:07:39,365
我根本不爱千千
1144
01:07:39,833 --> 01:07:40,868
我爱的是你
1145
01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:42,490
我们才认识两天呀
1146
01:07:43,292 --> 01:07:45,283
我现在终于相信一见钟情
1147
01:07:46,208 --> 01:07:48,415
我愿意把我的基因交给你
1148
01:07:49,083 --> 01:07:50,289
真的?
1149
01:07:54,250 --> 01:07:56,161
这一幕真可谓天地动容!
1150
01:07:56,292 --> 01:07:57,281
相信他们回去后
1151
01:07:57,417 --> 01:08:00,489
必会使出"巴黎铁塔反转再反转"
1152
01:08:01,500 --> 01:08:03,582
朗仔始终还是喜欢未来
1153
01:08:03,708 --> 01:08:05,699
看来这次 千千要失望了
1154
01:08:05,875 --> 01:08:06,830
失望什么
1155
01:08:06,958 --> 01:08:09,700
我不也是一条泡不到妞的可怜虫?
1156
01:08:09,833 --> 01:08:12,245
说那么多干嘛 是不是想泡我呀?
1157
01:08:12,375 --> 01:08:14,457
话要说得那么明白吗?
1158
01:08:19,167 --> 01:08:20,748
喂 醒醒...起来呀
1159
01:08:21,250 --> 01:08:22,114
西西...起来呀
1160
01:08:22,208 --> 01:08:23,448
起来呀! 你怎么样?
1161
01:08:23,583 --> 01:08:24,572
快起来呀醒醒...
1162
01:08:24,792 --> 01:08:26,202
醒醒呀! 起来呀!
1163
01:08:26,208 --> 01:08:27,038
他们来过
1164
01:08:29,208 --> 01:08:29,993
谁来过?
1165
01:08:30,167 --> 01:08:31,873
外星人"沙卡 1号"和"沙卡 2号"
1166
01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:33,865
怎么办 千千到哪去了?
1167
01:08:36,292 --> 01:08:37,156
我是1号
1168
01:08:37,417 --> 01:08:38,702
未来 你跑不了的
1169
01:08:38,917 --> 01:08:41,579
如果你们想要千千 就用未来交换
1170
01:08:41,958 --> 01:08:43,619
你们是来找我 别伤害千千
1171
01:08:43,875 --> 01:08:45,206
就凭你们这些人类?
1172
01:08:45,500 --> 01:08:47,582
限你一小时内到废置厂房
1173
01:08:47,708 --> 01:08:49,448
我会用脑电波传给你
1174
01:08:51,500 --> 01:08:52,489
知道了
1175
01:08:52,625 --> 01:08:54,035
如果过了时限...
1176
01:08:54,208 --> 01:08:56,665
我就把她砍开几块 放在那儿
1177
01:08:59,417 --> 01:09:01,032
怎么办 不如我们报警吧
1178
01:09:02,042 --> 01:09:04,408
你们现在警力不足 还是让我去
1179
01:09:04,583 --> 01:09:05,368
未来...
1180
01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:07,035
不要牺牲自己
1181
01:09:07,208 --> 01:09:08,072
那我也要尽力呀
1182
01:09:08,167 --> 01:09:09,703
若真的不行 我会走的
1183
01:09:09,958 --> 01:09:11,323
不过 要先计划好
1184
01:09:12,292 --> 01:09:13,452
我们来帮你
1185
01:09:13,583 --> 01:09:14,698
我精神上支持你!
1186
01:09:15,583 --> 01:09:16,868
操! 我真的看不起你
1187
01:09:17,042 --> 01:09:18,828
不用操吧 加上肉体支持行了吧
1188
01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:20,080
那 不如这样
1189
01:09:20,167 --> 01:09:21,828
我留在这儿 照顾女的
1190
01:09:21,958 --> 01:09:24,950
拯救地球的事 就交给你们了
1191
01:09:25,042 --> 01:09:25,656
操!
1192
01:09:25,792 --> 01:09:26,656
靠!
1193
01:09:34,167 --> 01:09:35,202
喂...
1194
01:09:35,458 --> 01:09:36,868
大...大哥呀...
1195
01:09:37,042 --> 01:09:38,031
你盯着我干嘛?
1196
01:09:38,167 --> 01:09:40,408
我虽然帅 但我不适合你呀
1197
01:09:40,792 --> 01:09:42,657
没什么 我想把花柳传染给你
1198
01:09:42,750 --> 01:09:43,614
大家有个伴嘛
1199
01:09:43,750 --> 01:09:44,455
不要!
1200
01:09:44,583 --> 01:09:48,030
你是独一无二的 我怎敢跟你争食呢?
1201
01:09:48,417 --> 01:09:49,702
我喜欢 吹呀?
1202
01:09:50,500 --> 01:09:52,115
不敢吹 不敢吹...
1203
01:09:52,250 --> 01:09:54,332
我怎么敢吹你呀?
1204
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:02,456
紧贴我一点行吗?
1205
01:10:06,750 --> 01:10:07,910
有人来了
1206
01:10:08,958 --> 01:10:09,822
看着他们
1207
01:10:09,958 --> 01:10:10,868
是
1208
01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:15,035
别过来...
1209
01:10:39,958 --> 01:10:42,791
不要...我怕怕...
1210
01:10:48,208 --> 01:10:50,790
花柳哥 亲个嘴没关系
1211
01:10:51,708 --> 01:10:54,871
玩舌头? 不要...很念心 不行的...
1212
01:10:55,417 --> 01:10:56,281
不要...
1213
01:11:00,500 --> 01:11:02,081
快点...千千 你没事吧?
1214
01:11:04,458 --> 01:11:05,573
快点呀
1215
01:11:06,333 --> 01:11:07,118
快点
1216
01:11:07,375 --> 01:11:08,034
快点走
1217
01:11:08,208 --> 01:11:10,290
解开我 我是警察呀
1218
01:11:10,417 --> 01:11:11,953
我为人民服务的
1219
01:11:15,667 --> 01:11:16,747
千千...
1220
01:11:18,375 --> 01:11:21,447
你中计了 她已经被我控制
1221
01:11:29,333 --> 01:11:31,665
让我把你变成性丧尸吧
1222
01:11:32,792 --> 01:11:34,532
小姐 你不要这样
1223
01:11:44,250 --> 01:11:45,956
她不知道我有另一个绰号
1224
01:11:45,958 --> 01:11:48,449
叫神勇双响炮
1225
01:11:49,167 --> 01:11:50,077
我不适合你呀!
1226
01:11:50,167 --> 01:11:51,373
救命呀!
1227
01:12:04,542 --> 01:12:05,702
我以为有什么了不起
1228
01:12:05,792 --> 01:12:07,498
射向头部就可以把你杀死
1229
01:12:07,499 --> 01:12:08,499
你是谁?
1230
01:12:09,042 --> 01:12:11,249
我就光头神探秃鹰哥!
1231
01:12:11,333 --> 01:12:13,699
警官 没时间了 我们要去救未来
1232
01:12:14,083 --> 01:12:15,118
对呀 还有一个
1233
01:12:15,583 --> 01:12:16,572
怎样杀死他呢?
1234
01:12:16,708 --> 01:12:18,448
还用问? 当然是射爆他的头!
1235
01:12:18,625 --> 01:12:19,364
对呀 对呀
1236
01:12:20,125 --> 01:12:21,990
没子弹 怎样射爆他的头?
1237
01:12:22,125 --> 01:12:22,989
靠!
1238
01:12:43,833 --> 01:12:45,994
地球未来的最后圣女
1239
01:12:46,583 --> 01:12:51,077
和我做爱之后 就会失去生殖能力了
1240
01:13:02,167 --> 01:13:03,782
胸部蛮漂亮呀
1241
01:13:06,333 --> 01:13:09,700
不过很快就会变成性丧尸
1242
01:13:14,333 --> 01:13:15,698
过一点...过一点...
1243
01:13:15,833 --> 01:13:17,869
对 过一点...这边这边...
1244
01:13:18,208 --> 01:13:19,038
推前点 推前点...
1245
01:13:19,125 --> 01:13:19,705
快点!
1246
01:13:19,875 --> 01:13:21,285
好! 别动...别动...
1247
01:13:21,750 --> 01:13:22,910
走开 走开...
1248
01:13:23,000 --> 01:13:23,864
走开!
1249
01:13:33,208 --> 01:13:34,664
不中 怎么办呀?
1250
01:13:34,792 --> 01:13:37,124
没时间了 冲吧!
1251
01:13:38,375 --> 01:13:39,410
我就不信!
1252
01:13:44,417 --> 01:13:46,328
冲呀! 冲呀!
1253
01:13:59,000 --> 01:14:00,115
对不起...
1254
01:14:17,833 --> 01:14:18,743
未来!
1255
01:14:18,875 --> 01:14:19,614
去看看她
1256
01:14:28,333 --> 01:14:29,573
先戴好墨镜
1257
01:14:29,708 --> 01:14:31,289
神探哥哥 你没事吧
1258
01:14:31,417 --> 01:14:33,282
要不要跟你回警局 录一份口供?
1259
01:14:33,875 --> 01:14:34,739
你傻的?
1260
01:14:34,875 --> 01:14:38,072
这种情节 拍电影也会挨影评人骂
1261
01:14:38,667 --> 01:14:40,828
总之 我...看不到
1262
01:14:41,125 --> 01:14:42,990
你们也看不到
1263
01:14:43,333 --> 01:14:45,949
回去过好日子 就这样
1264
01:14:46,417 --> 01:14:47,406
再见
1265
01:14:54,083 --> 01:14:55,243
这样都不死
1266
01:14:55,375 --> 01:14:56,785
这次要生一阵子了
1267
01:18:15,458 --> 01:18:17,164
朗仔虽然吃过那些蛋糕
1268
01:18:17,333 --> 01:18:19,915
但份量不多 没影响他的基因
1269
01:18:20,292 --> 01:18:21,953
他终于把基因给了我
1270
01:18:22,458 --> 01:18:23,573
我已经改造成
1271
01:18:23,708 --> 01:18:25,039
一次就可以怀孕
1272
01:18:25,292 --> 01:18:27,248
所以 我有了
1273
01:18:36,542 --> 01:18:37,406
我爱你
1274
01:19:00,500 --> 01:19:02,240
朗仔 我会记得你
1275
01:19:02,542 --> 01:19:04,157
总有一天 我会再回来
1276
01:19:04,958 --> 01:19:07,244
可能 还会带来几个姊妹呢
1277
01:19:07,375 --> 01:19:08,160
再见
1278
01:19:12,000 --> 01:19:14,457
一年了 未来没有回来
1279
01:19:14,708 --> 01:19:16,994
朗仔 蛋散和废柴都搬走了
1280
01:19:17,208 --> 01:19:19,244
只剩下我一个人留在这儿
1281
01:19:19,458 --> 01:19:20,322
为什么?
1282
01:19:20,625 --> 01:19:22,240
因为我养了三条性丧尸
1283
01:19:22,458 --> 01:19:24,198
她们每个晚上都发狂
1284
01:19:25,542 --> 01:19:26,372
救命啊!
1285
01:19:26,500 --> 01:19:28,365
精尽人亡啦!
80858
