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Cred has more electrolytes
2
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:42,709
than Gatorade or Prime.
3
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:46,780
And now Cred has a new flavor:Cherry Bubblegum.
4
00:00:57,023 --> 00:00:59,526
Eric, do you really need
to bring three bottles
5
00:00:59,592 --> 00:01:01,194
of that drink to school?
6
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:04,364
{\an8}Mom, a kid today is defined
by their hydration drink.
7
00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:07,767
{\an8}I have to have more Cred
than anyone else.
8
00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:35,962
Yeah, but it's, like, seriously,
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00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:37,597
look at how it's suddenly
everybody now.
10
00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,199
Like that Spencer Hollis kid.
11
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:40,633
He never even cared about Cred,
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00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:42,068
he just drinks it
'cause some stupid influencer
13
00:01:42,135 --> 00:01:43,403
said it's cool now.
14
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:45,472
Hey, hey, Clyde,
where's your Cred?
15
00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:50,009
Oh, um, it's in my...
I-I already drank it.
16
00:01:51,344 --> 00:01:52,979
See? That's what
I'm talking about.
17
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,348
Clyde likes Cred so much that
he drank all his before noon.
18
00:01:55,415 --> 00:01:56,616
That's a real Cred drinker.
19
00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:59,118
Unlike all the poser
Cred drinkers
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00:01:59,185 --> 00:02:00,720
like Spencer Hollis!
21
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,055
Fuck you.
22
00:02:02,121 --> 00:02:04,791
Fuck you, Spencer,
you're a fucking poser!
23
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:07,193
It's literally everywhere now.
24
00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:09,829
These crazy hydration drinks
that say they're healthy,
25
00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:12,932
but are loaded with fake sugars
and not safe for children.
26
00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:16,236
Why now? Why are kids
suddenly so into these things?
27
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:17,770
Online influencers.
28
00:02:17,837 --> 00:02:19,873
They promote this stuff to kids
to make money.
29
00:02:19,939 --> 00:02:22,175
I don't know what kind of
scumbags would push adult things
30
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:25,178
- on something they know
kids will watch. -
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00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:28,414
You guys, we have a big problem.
32
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:30,350
- What is it?
- It's about the South Park
33
00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:32,218
elementary art teacher.
34
00:02:32,285 --> 00:02:33,720
Mrs. Streibel? What about her?
35
00:02:33,786 --> 00:02:36,923
We just found out
that she's been...
36
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:40,393
doing pornographic videos
on OnlyFans.
37
00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:42,462
- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.
38
00:02:42,529 --> 00:02:45,198
There's gonna be
a big meeting tonight,
39
00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:48,134
and everybody's gonna see it.
40
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,709
{\an8}
41
00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:31,945
Everyone, let's try
to be civil here.
42
00:03:32,011 --> 00:03:34,314
Be civil?
How are we supposed to go home
43
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:37,116
and explain to our children that
their art teacher is a slut?
44
00:03:38,351 --> 00:03:40,353
She is not a slut.
45
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:43,756
Mrs. Streibel is a woman
engaging in a legal activity
46
00:03:43,823 --> 00:03:47,060
on a website
that is for adults only.
47
00:03:48,494 --> 00:03:50,129
Of course kids are gonna see it.
48
00:03:50,196 --> 00:03:52,465
- They see everything
on the Internet. -
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00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:56,002
Well, the problem is you guys
buy your kids phones, okay?
50
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:59,439
Just like you buy them all these
unhealthy hydration drinks.
51
00:03:59,505 --> 00:04:01,174
Oh, don't turn this
around on us.
52
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:03,142
We can't control
what our kids drink
53
00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:04,310
or what they watch.
54
00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:05,979
They're your kids.
55
00:04:06,045 --> 00:04:08,114
Many teachers
are struggling to get by
56
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:10,450
and need ways to supplement
their income.
57
00:04:10,516 --> 00:04:13,353
Mrs. Streibel makes close
to minimum wage as a teacher,
58
00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:17,557
but on OnlyFans, she makes
an extra $10,000 a week.
59
00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:22,829
It doesn't matter
how much she made,
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00:04:22,895 --> 00:04:25,365
we're talking about someone
who influences our children.
61
00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:27,567
Did she say $10,000 a week?
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00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:29,569
Listen, we have suspended
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00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:31,971
Mrs. Streibel indefinitely,
okay?
64
00:04:32,038 --> 00:04:33,840
But over the next few days,
65
00:04:33,906 --> 00:04:35,808
you should probably talk
to your kids
66
00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:40,546
about what they might
have seen, m'kay.
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00:04:51,157 --> 00:04:56,262
Uh, hey, Clyde, w-why don't you
come over here and have a seat?
68
00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:57,797
What?
69
00:04:57,864 --> 00:05:00,600
Uh, have a seat, pal.
We need to talk to you.
70
00:05:02,001 --> 00:05:03,269
Clyde...
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00:05:03,336 --> 00:05:05,438
we're understanding
that some tough things
72
00:05:05,505 --> 00:05:07,373
have been going on at school.
73
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,942
Yes. Yes, they have.
74
00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:12,278
All right, well, we know
that some of the stuff
75
00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:15,615
you're dealing with
might be kind of disturbing.
76
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:17,850
Yes, it's totally disturbing,
yes.
77
00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:21,487
All right, Clyde, well,
we want to try and help you.
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00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:22,689
Really? You do?
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00:05:22,755 --> 00:05:24,524
Oh, thank God. Finally.
80
00:05:24,590 --> 00:05:26,859
Yeah, pal,
let-let me explain to you
81
00:05:26,926 --> 00:05:29,362
what "double penetration" is.
82
00:05:30,363 --> 00:05:31,731
Double penetration?
83
00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:33,900
See, in your art teacher's
OnlyFans page,
84
00:05:33,966 --> 00:05:37,537
her and two men,
who love each other very much,
85
00:05:37,603 --> 00:05:40,006
wanted to express that love...
86
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,908
Dad, nobody cares
about double penetration.
87
00:05:41,974 --> 00:05:44,177
My life at school is awful
because you don't let me drink
88
00:05:44,243 --> 00:05:46,512
hydrating sports drinks
like all the other kids.
89
00:05:46,579 --> 00:05:48,414
Clyde, we've told you,
those things are filled
90
00:05:48,481 --> 00:05:49,849
with additives and fake sugar,
91
00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:51,617
and they're not good
for children.
92
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:52,885
You're not even
my real mom, Janice,
93
00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:54,620
so why don't you
shut the fuck up?
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00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:56,222
Clyde, that's enough.
95
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:58,124
Every other kid at school
is allowed to have it.
96
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,892
They all have Cred,
but I have zero Cred
97
00:05:59,959 --> 00:06:01,427
because my dad
and his stupid girlfriend
98
00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:02,829
think it's bad for me.
99
00:06:02,895 --> 00:06:05,098
Why do you want to be
like all the other kids?
100
00:06:05,164 --> 00:06:07,133
Shut up, Janice,
you're not my mom!
101
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,001
All right, Clyde, we're trying
to have a nice talk with you
102
00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:10,269
about double penetration,
103
00:06:10,336 --> 00:06:12,138
and you can just go
to your room now.
104
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,406
Fine!
105
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:15,942
Thanks a lot
for making sure your son
106
00:06:16,008 --> 00:06:19,245
is the only kid in school
without any Cred!
107
00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:29,021
It's like nobodyunderstands me, you know?
108
00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:31,157
Like, all these stupid boomersand people over 40
109
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,693
don't know how hard it isfor young people.
110
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,528
- Yeah.
- Like, yo, if you guys
111
00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:37,597
feel the same way,just leave a comment down below
112
00:06:37,663 --> 00:06:39,398
and smash that like button.
113
00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:43,870
{\an8}You know, the most importantthing is just to be yourself.
114
00:06:43,936 --> 00:06:45,872
And when I feel likeI can't be myself,
115
00:06:45,938 --> 00:06:48,741
that's when I need a hydrationdrink that'll pick me up.
116
00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:51,577
- That's when I need Cred.
117
00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:54,280
It's the coolest sports drinkin the world.
118
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:56,349
Cred is 100% sugar-free.
119
00:06:56,415 --> 00:06:59,118
Cred has electrolytes
so you can ride your bike.
120
00:06:59,185 --> 00:07:00,753
And also,
Cred has more vitamin A
121
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:03,055
than your body
could possibly ever use.
122
00:07:03,122 --> 00:07:04,991
I can't feel my face.
123
00:07:05,057 --> 00:07:07,260
Drink Cred
or you're a piece of shit.
124
00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:10,797
Drink Cred at your school today.
125
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:15,935
Hey, guys, I know there's
a lot of influencers out there
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00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:17,603
trying to get your attention.
127
00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:20,072
And I just hope that
you'll maybe take a moment
128
00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:24,443
to check out what I have to say
here on My OnlyFans page.
129
00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:27,847
{\an8}I hope you're all doing great,
and if you're watching this PPV,
130
00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:29,782
{\an8}I hope you'll consider
subscribing.
131
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:31,284
{\an8}If you want me
to give a shout-out
132
00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:33,152
{\an8}for your social media,
I can do that.
133
00:07:33,219 --> 00:07:34,887
And if you want a custom,
just let me know
134
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,389
if there's anything special
you want to see.
135
00:07:36,455 --> 00:07:38,791
- What the fuck are you doing?
- Oh! Hey, Sharon,
136
00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:40,493
just supplementing my income.
137
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,161
Are you serious right now?
138
00:07:42,228 --> 00:07:45,031
All right, all right,
Sharon, yes,
139
00:07:45,097 --> 00:07:47,133
I am an OnlyFans model.
140
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,835
And I'm not ashamed of it.
141
00:07:48,901 --> 00:07:50,536
Goddamn it, Randy.
142
00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:53,940
What is with all the stigma
Americans have anyway, huh?
143
00:07:54,006 --> 00:07:56,509
It's just my penis, Sharon.
It's not a big deal.
144
00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:59,512
No, it's definitely
not a big deal.
145
00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:01,080
Okay, good. Thank you.
146
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,915
All I'm doing
is taking back control
147
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:05,017
of my sexuality on a platform
148
00:08:05,084 --> 00:08:06,953
that I can benefit from
financially.
149
00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:08,654
So you're just gonna sit here
and jack off
150
00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:11,657
for four hours a week just
to make a few extra dollars?
151
00:08:11,724 --> 00:08:13,860
I jack off
two hours a week anyways.
152
00:08:13,926 --> 00:08:15,561
Now I just do it
a little bit more
153
00:08:15,628 --> 00:08:18,297
and make enough money to pay
for the increase in gas prices.
154
00:08:18,364 --> 00:08:20,600
If your children find out
about this,
155
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,935
they are going to leave home.
156
00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:26,672
Children aren't allowed
on OnlyFans, Sharon.
157
00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:28,541
It's totally safe.
158
00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:31,010
Kids aren't gonna see this.
159
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,989
Hey, Butters, Tweek,
you guys got a second?
160
00:08:43,055 --> 00:08:44,857
- For what?
- Okay, you know how, like,
161
00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:46,192
some kids in this school
really like Cred
162
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,593
and others just pretend to,
163
00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:49,362
but really they're posers
like Spencer Hollis?
164
00:08:49,428 --> 00:08:51,998
Well, I think we should
start a Cred affinity group.
165
00:08:52,064 --> 00:08:53,432
What's an affinity group?
166
00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:55,301
It's where you, like,
divide people into groups
167
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,470
and single them out in order
to make other people feel bad.
168
00:08:57,536 --> 00:08:59,472
See, it's like
we're the legit Cred drinkers,
169
00:08:59,538 --> 00:09:00,840
and we should just let
the very coolest kids
170
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,008
into our affinity group.
171
00:09:02,074 --> 00:09:03,409
Oh, hey, Clyde.
172
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,211
- Where's your Cred?
- Oh, it's just, uh...
173
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:08,147
- it's, uh, in my backpack again.
- Oh, that's cool.
174
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,982
You guys think we should let
Clyde into our affinity group?
175
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,584
Yeah, I like Clyde.
176
00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:13,819
Oh, hey, Stan. Do you want
to be in our affinity group?
177
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:16,255
- What's an affinity group?
- It's like where people separate
178
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:17,924
into little clubs by, like,
skin color or religious beliefs
179
00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:19,692
and talk about how much better
they are than everyone else.
180
00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:21,360
Usually, white people
can't be in an affinity group,
181
00:09:21,427 --> 00:09:22,895
but it's for a drink,
so they have to let us.
182
00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:24,664
That's not what
an affinity group is.
183
00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:27,033
Uh, yeah, well,
no one's inviting you, Kyle.
184
00:09:27,099 --> 00:09:28,935
'Cause it looks like
you don't even have any Cred.
185
00:09:29,001 --> 00:09:30,803
Yeah, I do, it's in my backpack.
186
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:33,039
Oh, sure,
it's in his backpack, guys.
187
00:09:33,105 --> 00:09:34,674
Yeah, let's see it, then.
188
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:37,710
It's right here. We drink
way more Cred than you guys do.
189
00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:40,212
Oh, yeah, right. Tweek drinks
four bottles of Cred
190
00:09:40,279 --> 00:09:42,715
- for breakfast.
191
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:46,118
I don't want to be a part
of any affinity group.
192
00:09:46,185 --> 00:09:47,586
It just sounds like trouble.
193
00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:49,021
Yeah, well, we don't want you.
194
00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:50,556
'Cause you just pretend
to like Cred
195
00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:51,991
'cause it's a fad right now
196
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:53,592
like all the other lame-o's
in this school.
197
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:55,227
Hey, guys.
198
00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:57,863
Hey, Clyde, you got a sec?
199
00:09:57,930 --> 00:10:00,333
- For what?
- I was just gonna talk to you about your backpack.
200
00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:02,368
- W-What about my backpack?
- Well, it's just...
201
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,136
You know, it's really best
to have a backpack
202
00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:05,972
that's got a water bottle pouch
to put your Cred in.
203
00:10:06,038 --> 00:10:07,373
See, like, see how
y-you can see, like,
204
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,175
you can see my Cred bottle
from the outside?
205
00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:10,409
You just go like this,
and everyone-everyone
206
00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:11,877
can see your Cred?
You're just like,
207
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:13,112
"Oh, hey, what's going on?
208
00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:14,046
"Oh, yeah, sweet,
check out my Cred.
209
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:15,881
It's, like, right here."
210
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,817
Um, well, I-I don't think
211
00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:19,452
I can get a new backpack
till my birthday.
212
00:10:19,518 --> 00:10:21,320
Well, maybe just, like,
use some tape or something
213
00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:22,788
to make your own bottle pouch?
214
00:10:22,855 --> 00:10:24,056
You know, we definitely
don't want you to look
215
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:25,524
like you don't have any Cred.
216
00:10:25,591 --> 00:10:26,993
All right,
see you in class, brah.
217
00:10:40,906 --> 00:10:43,009
Hey, Sharon. Can we talk?
218
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,379
I feel like there's
a lot bad things going on
219
00:10:46,445 --> 00:10:49,582
in the world, and it gets so
confusing sometimes, you know?
220
00:10:49,648 --> 00:10:53,552
I think, as Americans, we watch
news about things happening
221
00:10:53,619 --> 00:10:56,555
in the Middle East and we just
don't want to get involved.
222
00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:58,691
And I know it can feel like
"What can I do?
223
00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:01,560
I'm not special, how could I
ever make a difference?"
224
00:11:01,627 --> 00:11:04,964
But we can't let ourselves
think like that.
225
00:11:05,031 --> 00:11:07,133
Sometimes what it takes
226
00:11:07,199 --> 00:11:09,735
is just one person
to start a movement.
227
00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:13,572
One person, and then
everyone else might follow.
228
00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:22,381
I am not subscribing
to your OnlyFans page, Randy.
229
00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:25,418
Okay, well, you're a cunt.
230
00:11:32,825 --> 00:11:34,193
Yeah, that looks good.
231
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,595
Maybe a little higher
on your side, Butters.
232
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,831
Yeah, that's great. I think
everyone can see that now.
233
00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:41,400
That should definitely
make people feel unwelcome.
234
00:12:12,498 --> 00:12:13,999
Hey.
235
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:15,868
Hey...
236
00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:17,636
What's goin' on?
237
00:12:17,703 --> 00:12:21,474
So... are you, like,
selling Cred?
238
00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:24,043
What? Selling hydration drinks
on school grounds
239
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:25,711
is against the rules.
240
00:12:25,778 --> 00:12:27,246
Come here, come here.
241
00:12:28,013 --> 00:12:30,583
What the-- Hey, what are you--
What the hell are you doing?
242
00:12:30,649 --> 00:12:33,886
:
If you're wearing a wire, I will kick your ass.
243
00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:36,489
Bro, I'm not wearing a wire!
Do you have Cred or not?
244
00:12:36,555 --> 00:12:39,425
Sure, I got Cred.
What are ya looking for?
245
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:42,194
A little...
Watermelon Strawberry?
246
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:43,362
{\an8}No, no, do you have any ones
247
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:44,964
{\an8}that don't taste like total ass?
248
00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:46,332
Oh, you want the good shit.
249
00:12:46,398 --> 00:12:48,601
{\an8}I got your Bubblegum Grape
right here.
250
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:49,935
Okay, how much?
251
00:12:50,002 --> 00:12:51,170
Eighty bucks.
252
00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:53,506
$80? For a shitty
fake-sugar drink?
253
00:12:53,572 --> 00:12:54,874
What do you think
I'm runnin' here,
254
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,642
a fucking charity
for the homeless?
255
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,978
How about some
Oatmeal Nummy Nums?
256
00:12:59,044 --> 00:13:00,846
I can get you into that for $65.
257
00:13:00,913 --> 00:13:04,817
I don't have $65.
What can I get for three bucks?
258
00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:06,585
Three bucks? Oh, sure.
259
00:13:06,652 --> 00:13:08,721
For that, you can get
an empty Cred bottle.
260
00:13:08,787 --> 00:13:11,290
- What good is that gonna do me?
- It's easy.
261
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:13,425
You just fill
your empty bottle with water,
262
00:13:13,492 --> 00:13:15,127
add a little food coloring.
263
00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:19,331
Everyone thinks you got Cred
when you actually have no Cred.
264
00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:22,501
I'm not giving you three dollars
for just plastic garbage!
265
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:23,936
Cool thing, man.
266
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:26,772
You just go back into the school
without any Cred at all.
267
00:13:26,839 --> 00:13:28,641
See how long you last.
268
00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:31,410
Here!
269
00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:35,014
Hey, guys, it's your boy Randy,
270
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,917
and in this video we're doing
authentic pad Thai
271
00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:39,685
for under $6.
272
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,854
Now we're gonna start
with some medium shrimp
273
00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:43,422
and some rice noodles.
274
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,491
For the wet ingredients,
we're looking at a couple eggs,
275
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,126
some fish and also soy sauce.
276
00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:49,228
And then for garnish, we're
gonna do a little cilantro,
277
00:13:49,295 --> 00:13:50,763
green onion, and then of course,
278
00:13:50,829 --> 00:13:53,832
we're gonna top that all off
with some fresh nuts.
279
00:13:53,899 --> 00:13:56,235
Those nuts are gonna give it
that extra bite.
280
00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:57,503
Now, if you like
what you're seeing
281
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,471
be sure to smash
that subscribe button.
282
00:13:59,538 --> 00:14:02,908
- And--
- Get your balls off the table!
283
00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:05,811
Oh, oh, great Sharon
you just ruined the shot!
284
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,081
The guys at the deli wanted me
to say hi, Randy.
285
00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:11,283
They all saw you on OnlyFans.
286
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,085
Really?
Are they gonna subscribe?
287
00:14:13,152 --> 00:14:14,820
No, they're not going
to subscribe.
288
00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:16,989
Nobody's going
to subscribe, Randy.
289
00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:18,924
Will you fucking stop?
290
00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:20,593
This stuff takes time!
291
00:14:20,659 --> 00:14:22,761
You don't just put up a page
and immediately get followers.
292
00:14:22,828 --> 00:14:25,030
You have to support it
with other social media,
293
00:14:25,097 --> 00:14:26,465
have a craft to teach...
294
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,767
Being an influencer
takes time, Sharon!
295
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:31,003
Oh, so now
you're an influencer?
296
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:32,938
Yes! I'm an influencer.
297
00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:35,774
Maybe you should see
how it feels, Randy.
298
00:14:35,841 --> 00:14:39,511
Maybe I should go
and do my own OnlyFans.
299
00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:41,680
:
What? What?
300
00:14:41,747 --> 00:14:44,049
Yeah, like people are gonna pay
to see your OnlyFans.
301
00:14:44,116 --> 00:14:46,118
I'll make more than you do!
302
00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:48,420
Sharon, being
an influencer is work.
303
00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:50,389
You got to pay for the lighting,
for the sound,
304
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:51,857
you got to be good at editing!
305
00:14:51,924 --> 00:14:53,192
Okay. Cool, Randy.
306
00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:54,827
I'm gonna go start
an OnlyFans channel.
307
00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:58,397
Ok-okay.
Okay, you go do that, Sharon!
308
00:14:58,464 --> 00:15:01,233
I'm gonna fuckin' do it!
309
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:04,236
Okay, yeah, go supplement
our income, Shar...
310
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:07,773
Sharon?
311
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:33,766
You got this day, bro!
312
00:15:33,832 --> 00:15:37,369
You're strong and I'm gonnakeep on making videos for you.
313
00:15:55,554 --> 00:15:57,423
{\an8}Hey, guys, we're having
a Cred affinity group meeting
314
00:15:57,489 --> 00:15:58,957
{\an8}today at 4:00.
Nobody's allowed but us, okay?
315
00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:00,426
Hey, Jordan.
316
00:16:00,492 --> 00:16:01,727
We're having a meeting today.
You can't come.
317
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:02,995
Affinity group meeting
today, Sally.
318
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:04,330
You're not invited.
319
00:16:04,396 --> 00:16:05,597
Well, I think that's just
about everyone.
320
00:16:05,664 --> 00:16:06,865
Tweek, did you tell
Spencer Hollis
321
00:16:06,932 --> 00:16:08,400
he's not allowed
in the affinity group?
322
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:09,935
Yeah. You told me
to call him last night.
323
00:16:10,002 --> 00:16:11,236
He didn't seem to care.
324
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:13,539
- Yeah, he cares.
- Oh, there's Clyde!
325
00:16:13,605 --> 00:16:17,376
Hey, Clyde. Look at you
with your nice new backpack.
326
00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:19,144
Oh, uh, yeah.
You guys like it?
327
00:16:19,211 --> 00:16:20,312
Yeah, it's really cool.
328
00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:21,747
You can see your Cred now.
329
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,449
Yeah, it's really nice
the way your Cred is--
330
00:16:23,515 --> 00:16:26,618
Oh, my God! Clyde!
You got Moonrise Mellow?
331
00:16:26,685 --> 00:16:28,721
How the hell did you get
a bottle of Moonrise Mellow?
332
00:16:28,787 --> 00:16:31,557
Oh, it was just, uh,
what my parents gave me today.
333
00:16:31,623 --> 00:16:33,058
You guys,
Moonrise Mellow is, like,
334
00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:34,560
the hardest flavor to get ever.
335
00:16:34,626 --> 00:16:37,496
- Whoa, lucky.
- Yeah, hey, I'm not sharing.
336
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:40,265
- Hey, Stan. Hey, Stan.
- No, no, dude, wait.
337
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,835
Check out what Clyde has.
Moonrise Mellow.
338
00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:43,869
That's impossible.
339
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:45,604
Look at their faces.
340
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,239
They're so jealous.
341
00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:48,607
No, it's really impossible.
342
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,342
Moonrise Mellow was
discontinued months ago.
343
00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:53,112
Guess you wish now that you were
in the Cred affinity group.
344
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:55,914
We told you guys we have better
Cred than anyone at school.
345
00:16:55,981 --> 00:16:57,282
It's probably fake.
346
00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:59,184
{\an8}Oh! Oh, you think
it's fake, huh?
347
00:16:59,251 --> 00:17:01,120
You want to fucking taste it?
348
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,921
What the fuck?
349
00:17:02,988 --> 00:17:04,957
This is fucking apple juice.
Gross!
350
00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:07,960
- Let's see.
- Hey, give it back.
351
00:17:08,026 --> 00:17:10,162
Yeah, it's apple juice.
You guys are posers.
352
00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:11,630
We're not posers!
353
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:14,400
Hey, guys. Cred affinity group
uses fake Cred.
354
00:17:17,436 --> 00:17:18,670
What the fuck?
355
00:17:18,737 --> 00:17:20,105
What the fuck
have you done, Clyde?
356
00:17:20,172 --> 00:17:21,273
I'm sorry, okay?
357
00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:22,608
Oh, he's sorry.
358
00:17:22,674 --> 00:17:24,309
He faked having Cred,
but he's sorry!
359
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:27,479
All right, look, my parents
won't let me drink Cred, okay?
360
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:29,448
They think it's bad for me.
361
00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:31,784
So you never had Cred?
362
00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:32,885
No.
363
00:17:32,951 --> 00:17:34,186
Oh, my God!
364
00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:36,455
We all said you had Cred
in your backpack, Clyde.
365
00:17:36,522 --> 00:17:37,790
We fucking backed you!
366
00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:39,925
What the hell are we gonna do?
367
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,193
Why do you guys care?
368
00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:42,528
I'm the one who doesn't
have any Cred!
369
00:17:42,594 --> 00:17:43,962
That's not how it works, man!
370
00:17:44,029 --> 00:17:45,664
If you don't have Cred,
then everyone around you
371
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,299
loses all their Cred.
372
00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:49,902
We're dead.
We're fuckin' dead.
373
00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:51,503
Word is gonna spread
through the school
374
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:52,871
that our affinity group
has no Cred
375
00:17:52,938 --> 00:17:54,640
and then we're gonna--
376
00:17:59,445 --> 00:18:01,413
How could you do this
to us, Clyde?
377
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,382
I'm sorry.
It was all the pressure.
378
00:18:05,217 --> 00:18:07,519
I never even wanted to be
in an affinity group.
379
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:09,054
Now I'm doomed!
380
00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:14,560
Ooh... oh. Oh, yeah.
381
00:18:14,626 --> 00:18:16,895
- You like that, guys?
- Oh, my God.
382
00:18:16,962 --> 00:18:19,765
- Oh... Oh, God.
- Oh, my God. She did it.
383
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:22,434
- Mm... Oh, yeah.
- She actually did it.
384
00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:25,103
- She actually got
more subscribers than me. - Ooh, yeah, guys.
385
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:26,872
Oh, yeah.
386
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,707
Just let me knowif there's anything special
387
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,375
you'd like to see, guys.
388
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:32,744
- 3,100 subscribers.
- Ooh...
389
00:18:32,811 --> 00:18:34,513
- Oh, oh, yeah...
- How is that possible?
390
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:36,315
I mean, look at that,
the lighting sucks.
391
00:18:36,381 --> 00:18:37,716
The sound keeps clipping
392
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:39,818
like she got a microphone
at Walmart or something.
393
00:18:39,885 --> 00:18:42,688
And who's that guy?
He's blocking half the shot.
394
00:18:42,754 --> 00:18:45,290
- Oh, oh, ooh...
- This is total amateur hour!
395
00:18:45,357 --> 00:18:47,559
Thanks for callingOnlyFans customer support.
396
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:48,827
How can I help you?
397
00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:51,029
{\an8}Yeah, I just found out
that my wife has
398
00:18:51,096 --> 00:18:52,397
{\an8}an OnlyFans page,
399
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:54,766
{\an8}and in one day she has
more subscribers than me.
400
00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:57,302
I'm starting to think
this whole thing is rigged.
401
00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:58,871
Well, it is slightly easier
402
00:18:58,937 --> 00:19:01,740
for our female content creatorsto find an audience.
403
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:04,576
Look, my wife can't become
a bigger influencer than me.
404
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:05,777
I'll never hear the end of it.
405
00:19:05,844 --> 00:19:07,513
Well, sir, have you been trying
406
00:19:07,579 --> 00:19:09,681
the pointers we discussedto reach a larger audience?
407
00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:11,350
Yes! I added a skill.
408
00:19:11,416 --> 00:19:14,753
I'm advertising my OnlyFans page
with TikTok and Instagram.
409
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,289
What about optimizingyour algorithm?
410
00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:19,625
Oh, um, how do I do that?
411
00:19:19,691 --> 00:19:21,093
No, no, no.Not with your penis.
412
00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:23,061
See, what a lotof influencers will do is
413
00:19:23,128 --> 00:19:25,597
they talk about thingsand show things in their videos
414
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:26,765
that are trending.
415
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,467
Then you can hashtag that,
416
00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:30,802
and the search engines willthink your content is trending.
417
00:19:30,869 --> 00:19:34,973
So I... add stuff to my videos
that's popular,
418
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,042
and people will
accidentally go to my page
419
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:38,877
trying to search
for that popular thing.
420
00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:40,012
Exactly.
421
00:19:40,078 --> 00:19:41,413
That's perfect!
422
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:45,083
But what's trending most
on the Internet right now?
423
00:19:50,289 --> 00:19:52,791
Oh, hey there, Clyde.
How was school?
424
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:55,661
You want to know how school was?
425
00:19:55,727 --> 00:19:57,229
It fucking sucked!
426
00:19:57,296 --> 00:19:59,798
{\an8}All I wanted was to have
a little bit of Cred at school,
427
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,334
{\an8}but now I've destroyed it
and everyone hates me!
428
00:20:02,401 --> 00:20:05,804
Oh, Clyde, we're always trying
to do what's best for you.
429
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,839
{\an8}And you shut
the fuck up, Janice!
430
00:20:07,906 --> 00:20:10,809
{\an8}- You are not my mom.
- Clyde!
431
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:15,047
I seriously can't standhow stupid people are sometimes.
432
00:20:15,113 --> 00:20:17,716
That's why I doall my pranks and stuff.
433
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:20,786
Sometimes it's impossible
to stay positive
434
00:20:20,852 --> 00:20:22,220
when everyone sucks so hard.
435
00:20:22,287 --> 00:20:23,922
If you like
what I'm saying in this video,
436
00:20:23,989 --> 00:20:26,058
smash that like button
down below.
437
00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:28,427
You know, the thing is,
438
00:20:28,493 --> 00:20:29,962
when you really feel
the most down,
439
00:20:30,028 --> 00:20:32,331
that's when you got to
fight the hardest, you know?
440
00:20:33,131 --> 00:20:35,968
{\an8}I'm gonna give you 10 tipsto being tougher.
441
00:20:36,034 --> 00:20:38,470
{\an8}But first I want to givea shout-out to our sponsor
442
00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:40,205
{\an8}Cred hydration drinks!
443
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:43,275
Cred gives you allthe energy you need!
444
00:20:43,342 --> 00:20:46,011
And now Cred has an all-newexclusive flavor.
445
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,547
Introducing new Mega Cred.
446
00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:49,915
It's a super limited edition
447
00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,284
only availableto a select few.
448
00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:54,486
And Cred's doing a big giveaway
449
00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:57,923
and maybe these super limitededition bottles can be yours.
450
00:21:02,527 --> 00:21:03,862
So I looked it up,
451
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,263
and there's this drink
called Cred
452
00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:07,633
that's the most searched thing
on the internet.
453
00:21:07,699 --> 00:21:09,134
I figured if I can get my hands
454
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:11,003
on some of the more
hard to get bottles
455
00:21:11,069 --> 00:21:13,905
and put them in my videos,
maybe I'll get more traffic.
456
00:21:13,972 --> 00:21:16,642
Everyone says maybe
you can help me.
457
00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:21,146
Cred? What's Cred?
Never heard of it.
458
00:21:22,180 --> 00:21:24,082
Okay, look,
I'm not wearing a wire.
459
00:21:24,149 --> 00:21:25,651
You want to see?
460
00:21:25,717 --> 00:21:28,353
No, no, I don't want to see!
What the hell is wrong with you?
461
00:21:28,420 --> 00:21:30,422
I'm looking for a lot of Cred.
462
00:21:30,489 --> 00:21:31,857
Maybe I can even get them
463
00:21:31,923 --> 00:21:33,759
to eventually sponsor
my adult web channel.
464
00:21:33,825 --> 00:21:35,060
Oh, okay. Then you'll want
465
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,728
some of the harder stuff
that's marketed
466
00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:38,030
for adults only.
467
00:21:38,096 --> 00:21:40,298
{\an8}Like maybe...
Peppa Pig Peppermint.
468
00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:42,567
That doesn't sound like
it's marketed for adults.
469
00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:46,405
{\an8}Oh, well, maybe you want to try
the I'm a Big Boy Blueberry.
470
00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:48,507
All right, look, just--
How much for the whole bag?
471
00:21:48,573 --> 00:21:50,676
You want my whole bag of Cred?
472
00:21:50,742 --> 00:21:51,977
I want you to supply me
473
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:54,079
with every bottle of Cred
you can find.
474
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:57,182
I have to have more subscribers
than my wife.
475
00:22:07,926 --> 00:22:10,362
Eric, sweetie,
are you feeling any better?
476
00:22:11,430 --> 00:22:13,832
No, Mom, I'm dying.
477
00:22:13,899 --> 00:22:16,401
I've been completely
discredited.
478
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:21,173
Eric, everything is going
to be okay at school tomorrow.
479
00:22:21,239 --> 00:22:22,774
It's too late.
480
00:22:22,841 --> 00:22:24,476
I've already stepped down
as founder and chairman
481
00:22:24,543 --> 00:22:26,011
of my own affinity group.
482
00:22:26,078 --> 00:22:28,714
You'll find my letter of
resignation on the nightstand.
483
00:22:30,982 --> 00:22:32,651
I'm choosing to step down
484
00:22:32,718 --> 00:22:35,754
before all those sick bastards
at school try and force me out.
485
00:22:35,821 --> 00:22:37,956
Well, you need to sit up
for just a minute.
486
00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:39,925
Your little friend Clyde
wants to talk to you.
487
00:22:39,991 --> 00:22:42,661
Clyde? No, no, no, no, no.
Do not let-- Mom!
488
00:22:42,728 --> 00:22:44,763
Do not let Clyde in my--
Aw, goddamn it.
489
00:22:44,830 --> 00:22:46,398
What do you guys want?
490
00:22:46,465 --> 00:22:49,067
Eric, Clyde has an idea
that might save our Cred.
491
00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:52,437
Nothing is going to save
our Cred, you boners.
492
00:22:52,504 --> 00:22:54,072
Will you just listen?
493
00:22:54,139 --> 00:22:56,341
My influencer said there's
gonna be a big Cred promotion
494
00:22:56,408 --> 00:22:57,576
at a CVS in Pueblo.
495
00:22:57,642 --> 00:22:58,977
A promotion, great.
496
00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:00,479
They're gonna sell
a very limited quantity
497
00:23:00,545 --> 00:23:02,881
of an all-new Cred
that nobody's even tried yet.
498
00:23:02,948 --> 00:23:04,883
So we could ditch school,
499
00:23:04,950 --> 00:23:06,318
find a way to get to Pueblo
500
00:23:06,384 --> 00:23:08,220
and come back with a Cred
nobody else can even get.
501
00:23:08,286 --> 00:23:09,788
We'd have our Cred back.
502
00:23:10,689 --> 00:23:12,691
We followed Clyde before,
you guys,
503
00:23:12,758 --> 00:23:14,493
and it cost us everything.
504
00:23:14,559 --> 00:23:16,061
Look, 50 cases of Cred,
505
00:23:16,128 --> 00:23:17,996
only available tomorrow
200 miles away
506
00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:19,898
and then not available
for another six months.
507
00:23:19,965 --> 00:23:21,366
It's called Mega Cred.
508
00:23:24,770 --> 00:23:26,304
All right, you son of a bitch.
509
00:23:26,371 --> 00:23:29,374
Maybe our affinity group
isn't dead just yet.
510
00:23:34,045 --> 00:23:36,081
Hey, what up, guys?
It's your boy Randy.
511
00:23:36,148 --> 00:23:37,649
In this video,
I'm gonna be trying out
512
00:23:37,716 --> 00:23:40,318
six different flavors
of the newest sports drink.
513
00:23:40,385 --> 00:23:43,188
As you can see, I've got
lots of Cred. Do you like Cred?
514
00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:44,656
If so, leave a comment
down below,
515
00:23:44,723 --> 00:23:46,358
and maybe smash
that like button.
516
00:23:46,424 --> 00:23:48,293
Okay, we're gonna start
with Summer Popsicle.
517
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:50,028
I guess it's pretty popular.
518
00:23:50,095 --> 00:23:52,697
Smells okay.
Let's see how good it is.
519
00:23:54,699 --> 00:23:56,368
Ooh. Oh, okay, yeah.
520
00:23:56,434 --> 00:23:57,702
That one's kind of fizzy.
521
00:23:57,769 --> 00:23:59,704
K-Kind of fizzy,
but more on the penis
522
00:23:59,771 --> 00:24:01,072
than it is on them balls.
523
00:24:01,139 --> 00:24:02,574
Yeah, this is really nice.
524
00:24:02,641 --> 00:24:04,342
Oh. Oh, yeah, it looks good.
525
00:24:04,409 --> 00:24:06,311
Yeah, looks delicious.
Oishii.
526
00:24:06,378 --> 00:24:08,847
Hey If you're liking the
content, be sure to subscribe.
527
00:24:08,914 --> 00:24:10,148
Really helps the channel out.
528
00:24:10,215 --> 00:24:11,950
Let's move on
to another flavor now.
529
00:24:12,017 --> 00:24:13,885
This one's calledPurple Snow Globe.
530
00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:15,287
Let's see how it tastes.
531
00:24:15,353 --> 00:24:18,123
Ooh. Oh, yeah.Yeah, that's a good one.
532
00:24:21,526 --> 00:24:22,928
Oh?
533
00:24:23,728 --> 00:24:24,763
Oh, my God!
534
00:24:24,830 --> 00:24:26,198
Hey, Sharon!
535
00:24:26,264 --> 00:24:28,200
Sharon, you got to see this!
536
00:24:31,002 --> 00:24:32,604
Oh, there you are, Sharon.
537
00:24:32,671 --> 00:24:35,674
Been out shopping with all
the money you made on OnlyFans?
538
00:24:35,740 --> 00:24:38,009
I'm ready to stop
whenever you are.
539
00:24:38,076 --> 00:24:40,178
Oh, ho! Yeah,
I don't think so, Sharon.
540
00:24:40,245 --> 00:24:43,248
I just had a video on TikTok
with 1,000 views
541
00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:45,784
and a video on Meta with 2,000!
542
00:24:45,851 --> 00:24:49,120
That's gonna drive all the
subscribers to my OnlyFans page.
543
00:24:49,187 --> 00:24:52,224
You said my penis wasn't
a big deal, and now look!
544
00:24:52,991 --> 00:24:55,126
What are you doing
to that Cred bottle?
545
00:24:55,193 --> 00:24:57,062
Oh, that's just
a little trend jumping.
546
00:24:57,128 --> 00:25:00,232
Randy, you know who
drinks Cred, right? Children!
547
00:25:00,298 --> 00:25:02,234
No, it's not even
suitable for children.
548
00:25:02,300 --> 00:25:04,202
Okay, this has to stop, Randy.
549
00:25:04,269 --> 00:25:07,472
The only views you're getting on
TikTok and Meta are from kids!
550
00:25:07,539 --> 00:25:09,941
That's not what
the data shows, Sharon.
551
00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:11,309
According to Meta and TikTok,
552
00:25:11,376 --> 00:25:12,944
their audience
is predominately people
553
00:25:13,011 --> 00:25:14,312
over the age of 22.
554
00:25:14,379 --> 00:25:16,414
That means it's not kids
who care about Cred,
555
00:25:16,481 --> 00:25:19,417
it's adults
who want to see my dick.
556
00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:23,021
Randy, please.
Let's just call it a tie, okay?
557
00:25:23,088 --> 00:25:25,223
Oh, I bet you'd love that now.
558
00:25:25,290 --> 00:25:29,060
Now that my OnlyFans is
about to be bigger than yours.
559
00:25:29,127 --> 00:25:31,897
I'm gonna beat your ass, honey!
560
00:25:39,504 --> 00:25:40,939
{\an8}Oh, Jesus, now it looks
like they're doing
561
00:25:41,006 --> 00:25:42,874
{\an8}a two-bottle max per person.
562
00:25:42,941 --> 00:25:45,744
{\an8}O-Okay, so two bottles each.
That means we'll have eight.
563
00:25:45,810 --> 00:25:47,779
{\an8}- Is that enough Cred?
- Oh, my God.
564
00:25:47,846 --> 00:25:49,080
{\an8}No!
565
00:25:49,147 --> 00:25:51,149
: We want Cred!
We want Cred!
566
00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:54,719
We want Cred! We want Cred!
567
00:25:54,786 --> 00:25:56,488
Dude, there's like
2,000 kids here.
568
00:25:56,554 --> 00:25:58,089
Don't these losers have
anything better to do
569
00:25:58,156 --> 00:25:59,591
than fight over a shitty drink?
570
00:25:59,658 --> 00:26:01,393
Come on, we gotta make our way
to the front.
571
00:26:01,459 --> 00:26:04,796
Tom, I'm standing
outside the CVS in Pueblo
572
00:26:04,863 --> 00:26:08,199
where thousands of children
have shown up to get some Cred.
573
00:26:08,266 --> 00:26:10,035
{\an8}The fake sugar hydration drink
574
00:26:10,101 --> 00:26:12,304
{\an8}is considered
not suitable for children
575
00:26:12,370 --> 00:26:14,205
{\an8}and yet kids
are literally fighting
576
00:26:14,272 --> 00:26:16,808
{\an8}to get their hands
on this limited edition.
577
00:26:16,875 --> 00:26:20,612
{\an8}I'll be covering the whole thing
live here on my OnlyFans page.
578
00:26:20,679 --> 00:26:23,949
{\an8}Just DM me if there's anything
custom you'd like to see.
579
00:26:24,015 --> 00:26:25,583
Dude, this is fucking crazy!
580
00:26:25,650 --> 00:26:27,886
There's never gonna be
enough Cred for everybody!
581
00:26:27,953 --> 00:26:30,789
Oh, my God. No. No!
582
00:26:30,855 --> 00:26:32,590
It's fucking Spencer Hollis.
583
00:26:32,657 --> 00:26:34,659
Hey, stop pushing, kid.
584
00:26:34,726 --> 00:26:36,895
What's he doing here,
that dirty son a bitch?
585
00:26:36,962 --> 00:26:38,430
He fucking ditched school
to come get Cred
586
00:26:38,496 --> 00:26:40,932
and he doesn't even like it!
He's a fucking poser!
587
00:26:40,999 --> 00:26:45,670
We want Cred! We want Cred!
We want Cred!
588
00:26:45,737 --> 00:26:48,073
{\an8}The delivery truck!
589
00:26:52,344 --> 00:26:53,378
Ah!
590
00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:55,080
- Ah! Get away!
- Give me Cred!
591
00:26:55,146 --> 00:26:57,882
You're all a bunch
of animals! Ah!
592
00:26:57,949 --> 00:26:59,684
Cred! Give me the Cred!
593
00:26:59,751 --> 00:27:01,086
I got to have Cred!
594
00:27:01,152 --> 00:27:04,689
We want Cred! We want Cred!
595
00:27:04,756 --> 00:27:07,158
Okay, go, go, go!
596
00:27:08,059 --> 00:27:09,327
Okay, okay, it's here,
you bastards.
597
00:27:09,394 --> 00:27:10,862
- Come in and-- Ah!
- I was here--
598
00:27:10,929 --> 00:27:13,365
Tweek's not gonna make it,
you guys.
599
00:27:14,966 --> 00:27:18,036
- Where is it?
- Where's the Cred?
600
00:27:20,071 --> 00:27:21,573
It's over there!
601
00:27:21,639 --> 00:27:22,941
Give me Cred!
602
00:27:23,008 --> 00:27:25,577
Me first! Me first!
603
00:27:27,612 --> 00:27:29,214
Give me the Cred!
604
00:27:31,649 --> 00:27:33,118
Ah! Ah!
605
00:27:33,184 --> 00:27:35,887
There's some, right there! Ah!
606
00:27:35,954 --> 00:27:38,156
It's gone! It's all gone!
607
00:27:43,028 --> 00:27:44,696
Mom!
608
00:27:45,730 --> 00:27:46,831
Spencer?
609
00:27:46,898 --> 00:27:49,401
Start the car! Start the car!
610
00:27:49,467 --> 00:27:51,202
Jesus Christ!
611
00:27:51,269 --> 00:27:53,338
Start the fucking car, Mom!
612
00:27:53,405 --> 00:27:55,573
Spencer's getting away
with the Cred!
613
00:27:59,577 --> 00:28:01,613
No!
614
00:28:02,414 --> 00:28:05,483
Well, these are extremely
impressive numbers.
615
00:28:05,550 --> 00:28:08,486
It looks like your content's
getting a lot of views online.
616
00:28:08,553 --> 00:28:09,788
Yeah, thanks.
617
00:28:09,854 --> 00:28:11,389
But you see,
what I'm trying to learn now
618
00:28:11,456 --> 00:28:13,324
is how to take
all the views I'm getting
619
00:28:13,391 --> 00:28:15,693
on like Instagram and stuff
and use them
620
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:17,228
to make myself bigger.
621
00:28:17,295 --> 00:28:19,064
Well, we can help you with that.
622
00:28:19,130 --> 00:28:20,165
You know, to really succeed,
623
00:28:20,231 --> 00:28:21,666
you gotta ask yourself:
624
00:28:21,733 --> 00:28:24,803
What is it that you want
to achieve as an influencer?
625
00:28:24,869 --> 00:28:27,639
Well, what I really want to do
626
00:28:27,705 --> 00:28:29,441
is beat my wife.
627
00:28:32,410 --> 00:28:33,978
You want to beat your wife?
628
00:28:34,045 --> 00:28:35,847
I mean, don't we all?
629
00:28:35,914 --> 00:28:37,248
I-I don't understand,
630
00:28:37,315 --> 00:28:39,784
you want to beat your wife
on Instagram?
631
00:28:39,851 --> 00:28:41,186
I want to beat her on Instagram,
632
00:28:41,252 --> 00:28:42,787
I want to beat her on TikTok,
633
00:28:42,854 --> 00:28:45,657
but mostly I want to beat
the shit out of her on OnlyFans
634
00:28:45,723 --> 00:28:47,392
and make a lot
of money doing it.
635
00:28:47,459 --> 00:28:50,462
Hmm. Okay, well, if you can
get the kids to watch
636
00:28:50,528 --> 00:28:52,230
then we can find you a sponsor.
637
00:28:52,297 --> 00:28:54,666
Organizations will do anything
to reach kids these days.
638
00:28:54,732 --> 00:28:56,601
Oh, yeah, yeah,
but, see, my content
639
00:28:56,668 --> 00:28:58,870
actually isn't suitable
for children.
640
00:28:58,937 --> 00:29:00,872
Right. I mean, the data shows
641
00:29:00,939 --> 00:29:03,641
kids aren't the main audience
for any of this stuff, right?
642
00:29:03,708 --> 00:29:06,511
- Right.
- Right.
643
00:29:06,578 --> 00:29:09,681
Mr. Marsh, the thing is,
a sponsor not only gets you cash
644
00:29:09,747 --> 00:29:12,317
but they also help
you push that algorithm
645
00:29:12,383 --> 00:29:14,652
so that their message
is heard through you.
646
00:29:14,719 --> 00:29:16,121
Oh, really?
647
00:29:16,187 --> 00:29:17,722
Yeah, there's gonna be
a lot of companies
648
00:29:17,789 --> 00:29:20,558
that want to pay you to show
your videos to "not kids."
649
00:29:20,625 --> 00:29:22,560
But what we want to do
is get these sponsors
650
00:29:22,627 --> 00:29:24,696
to bid against each other
for your audience.
651
00:29:24,762 --> 00:29:26,998
That's when you become
a big influencer.
652
00:29:27,065 --> 00:29:30,001
And then you can beat
your wife as much as you want.
653
00:29:30,068 --> 00:29:32,403
Wow.
654
00:30:21,686 --> 00:30:22,820
There's nothing.
655
00:30:22,887 --> 00:30:24,455
Just two more
broken Cred bottles.
656
00:30:24,522 --> 00:30:27,091
And a couple of cans
of SpaghettiOs.
657
00:30:31,996 --> 00:30:33,831
I don't think I can go back.
658
00:30:33,898 --> 00:30:35,700
Go back to what?
659
00:30:35,767 --> 00:30:37,869
Spencer Hollis
has all the Cred now.
660
00:30:37,936 --> 00:30:40,305
Tomorrow, he'll start
his own affinity group
661
00:30:40,371 --> 00:30:42,307
and not let any of us in.
662
00:30:42,373 --> 00:30:45,276
Don't you guys think
this is all fucked up?
663
00:30:45,343 --> 00:30:47,679
Yeah, fucked up 'cause of you.
664
00:30:47,745 --> 00:30:49,814
No, I mean what
they're doing to us.
665
00:30:49,881 --> 00:30:52,817
Look at this. My influencer
told me to come down here.
666
00:30:52,884 --> 00:30:54,552
He knew there wasn't gonna
be enough Cred for everyone.
667
00:30:54,619 --> 00:30:56,221
It's like--
It's like they wanted to create
668
00:30:56,287 --> 00:30:59,357
this false scarcity.
Give all us kids FOMO.
669
00:30:59,424 --> 00:31:02,093
If anyone's a FOMO,
Clyde, it's you.
670
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:05,296
You guys aren't listening.
We've been manipulated.
671
00:31:05,363 --> 00:31:07,198
If kids are willing to fight
and die over this,
672
00:31:07,265 --> 00:31:09,500
then what else would they be
willing to fight and die over?
673
00:31:09,567 --> 00:31:11,703
Nobody in school cared
about hydration drinks
674
00:31:11,769 --> 00:31:13,071
three weeks ago.
675
00:31:13,137 --> 00:31:15,573
My influencer convinced me
to come down here.
676
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:18,109
What else is
he convincing me to do?
677
00:31:18,176 --> 00:31:20,812
So, maybe if we find
your influencer,
678
00:31:20,878 --> 00:31:22,046
then he can give us Cred?
679
00:31:22,113 --> 00:31:23,314
No!
680
00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:25,283
No, no, no.
I like your angle, Clyde.
681
00:31:25,350 --> 00:31:26,951
Maybe this whole thing
is a sham.
682
00:31:27,018 --> 00:31:28,886
If we can make
the whole thing look stupid,
683
00:31:28,953 --> 00:31:30,688
then we make a Cred
affinity group look stupid.
684
00:31:30,755 --> 00:31:32,857
Then Spencer Hollis will
have nothing to keep us out of.
685
00:31:32,924 --> 00:31:35,526
I just know there's more
to all this than we think.
686
00:31:35,593 --> 00:31:37,629
I know what town
my influencer lives in.
687
00:31:37,695 --> 00:31:39,731
I want some goddamn answers.
688
00:31:39,797 --> 00:31:41,165
Tweek, Butters,
689
00:31:41,232 --> 00:31:42,767
gather up all the Pop-Tarts
and SpaghettiOs you can.
690
00:31:42,834 --> 00:31:45,903
We move out at
oh-ninety-two-hundred.
691
00:31:54,045 --> 00:31:55,513
Can I help you?
692
00:31:55,580 --> 00:31:57,415
Yeah, hi, I'm a big influencer?
693
00:31:57,482 --> 00:32:00,418
My agent sent me here
to find a sponsor?
694
00:32:00,485 --> 00:32:03,321
- Name.
- Uh, Randy Marsh?
695
00:32:03,388 --> 00:32:05,056
It's with five Rs
because there was already
696
00:32:05,123 --> 00:32:07,325
a Randy Marsh on TikTok.
697
00:32:07,392 --> 00:32:08,926
Put this around your neck.
Through that door
698
00:32:08,993 --> 00:32:10,828
and wait with
the other influencers.
699
00:32:10,895 --> 00:32:12,363
Oh, okay, thanks.
700
00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:17,702
Okay, influencers, follow me,
701
00:32:17,769 --> 00:32:19,570
stand in a straight line
and step forward
702
00:32:19,637 --> 00:32:21,639
when your number is called.
703
00:32:26,711 --> 00:32:28,212
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
704
00:32:28,279 --> 00:32:30,315
We have some incredible
influencers available today.
705
00:32:30,381 --> 00:32:32,383
They are all
complete freelancers
706
00:32:32,450 --> 00:32:34,385
and looking for sponsors.
707
00:32:34,452 --> 00:32:37,889
First off, we have
influencer number 394
708
00:32:37,955 --> 00:32:39,357
This is BlinkyBlankyGirl.
709
00:32:39,424 --> 00:32:41,392
She has over 10,000 views
on Instagram,
710
00:32:41,459 --> 00:32:43,261
6,800 on TikTok
711
00:32:43,328 --> 00:32:45,196
and is up-and-coming
on Meta and X.
712
00:32:45,263 --> 00:32:46,698
Who would like to own
this influencer?
713
00:32:46,764 --> 00:32:48,966
We'll start the bidding at 20.
20, do I hear 20?
714
00:32:49,033 --> 00:32:50,568
There's 20. Do I hear 25, 25?
715
00:32:50,635 --> 00:32:54,038
Let's hear 25, 25, 30.
716
00:32:54,105 --> 00:32:55,506
25 from Mattel Toys.
717
00:32:55,573 --> 00:32:57,475
Mattel Toys now
the highest bidder at 25.
718
00:32:57,542 --> 00:33:01,746
25, who's gonna go for 30?
30, 30.
719
00:33:01,813 --> 00:33:03,848
30! 30 from Lunchables!
Let's go 50.
720
00:33:03,915 --> 00:33:05,350
50 now, who wants
the influencer?
721
00:33:05,416 --> 00:33:07,852
- 50, 50.
- 100!
722
00:33:07,919 --> 00:33:11,356
100! 100 from the Chinese
government! Can we go 150?
723
00:33:11,422 --> 00:33:13,725
150?
724
00:33:13,791 --> 00:33:15,593
150, 150, yes!
725
00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:17,362
Stoli Vodka at 150.
726
00:33:17,428 --> 00:33:19,030
150, the current bid
from Stoli Vodka.
727
00:33:19,097 --> 00:33:20,431
What about you, Build-A-Bear?
728
00:33:20,498 --> 00:33:23,935
Do we hear from Build-A-Bear?
729
00:33:24,001 --> 00:33:27,405
160! 160 from the NRA,
outbidding Stoli Vodka.
730
00:33:27,472 --> 00:33:29,741
Who wants to influence
the youngins more?
731
00:33:31,542 --> 00:33:33,478
{\an8}170 from Voices for Ukraine.
732
00:33:33,544 --> 00:33:35,279
{\an8}Don't let them
outbid you, Russia.
733
00:33:35,346 --> 00:33:37,448
{\an8}No? Chinese government? No?
734
00:33:37,515 --> 00:33:40,651
Sold to Voices for Ukraine.
Thank you.
735
00:33:40,718 --> 00:33:43,421
I don't understand
what happened.
736
00:33:43,488 --> 00:33:44,722
Just keep making
your stupid videos,
737
00:33:44,789 --> 00:33:46,157
they'll tell you what to say.
738
00:33:46,224 --> 00:33:49,093
Okay, next up we have
influencer number 226.
739
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,929
This is Kevinlovesoranges.
740
00:33:51,996 --> 00:33:55,366
Over six million views
on TikTok, 4,600 on Instagram
741
00:33:55,433 --> 00:33:57,235
and a small following
on X and Meta.
742
00:33:57,301 --> 00:34:00,037
Who wants Kevinlovesoranges
to push their agenda?
743
00:34:00,104 --> 00:34:02,940
We'll start at 40, 40.
China in at 40, China at 40.
744
00:34:03,007 --> 00:34:06,310
Who's gonna go 50?
Russia with 50.
745
00:34:06,377 --> 00:34:08,679
55, 60, Big Pharma at 60.
746
00:34:08,746 --> 00:34:10,448
60.
Kellogg's Cereal.
747
00:34:10,515 --> 00:34:11,849
Ravenclaw Casinos.
748
00:34:11,916 --> 00:34:13,351
Influence the children.
749
00:34:13,418 --> 00:34:15,753
Can I hear 70? Last call for 70.
750
00:34:17,121 --> 00:34:20,057
{\an8}Sold to the Canadian government,
congratulations.
751
00:34:20,124 --> 00:34:22,894
Our next influencer, number 427.
752
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,263
This is Randy Marrrrrsh.
753
00:34:25,329 --> 00:34:28,232
We'll start the bidding at 50.
50, do I hear 50? 50?
754
00:34:33,704 --> 00:34:35,940
50? No? Come on, Mattel Toys.
Let's hear from you.
755
00:34:36,007 --> 00:34:37,742
How about 40? 40?
756
00:34:37,809 --> 00:34:39,076
How about 40, let's do 40?
757
00:34:44,515 --> 00:34:46,617
Freeze! Nobody move!
758
00:34:53,391 --> 00:34:54,325
Up here! He's up here!
759
00:34:54,392 --> 00:34:56,494
Are you Randy Marrrrrsh?
760
00:34:56,561 --> 00:34:58,496
- Yeah?
- All right, we got him.
761
00:34:58,563 --> 00:34:59,697
Hands behind your back.
762
00:34:59,764 --> 00:35:01,365
Me? I didn't do anything.
763
00:35:01,432 --> 00:35:03,701
I'm just trying
to beat my wife.
764
00:35:03,768 --> 00:35:06,938
On your knees!
Hands behind your back now!
765
00:35:10,575 --> 00:35:12,910
{\an8}Hello? Logan LaDouche?
766
00:35:12,977 --> 00:35:16,147
{\an8}- Hello? We know you're in there.
767
00:35:18,816 --> 00:35:21,452
Go away.
I'm in enough trouble as it is.
768
00:35:21,519 --> 00:35:23,387
Look, dude, we just want
to talk to you, okay?
769
00:35:23,454 --> 00:35:25,356
No, not okay. I'm in hiding.
770
00:35:25,423 --> 00:35:26,958
How did you guys find me?
771
00:35:27,024 --> 00:35:28,759
Dude, if you're in hiding,
you shouldn't probably post
772
00:35:28,826 --> 00:35:30,962
videos of yourself
at the motel you're hiding in.
773
00:35:31,028 --> 00:35:34,699
Shit. Shit,
I just can't help myself.
774
00:35:37,902 --> 00:35:40,638
{\an8}Brah, we need to know
the truth about Cred.
775
00:35:40,705 --> 00:35:44,075
I'm sorry, okay?
I didn't mean to cause a riot.
776
00:35:44,141 --> 00:35:46,277
Did Cred want us all
to kill each other?
777
00:35:47,178 --> 00:35:50,481
If you found me,
then so can they. Just go.
778
00:35:50,548 --> 00:35:52,517
{\an8}Okay, okay, fine,
Mr. Influencer,
779
00:35:52,583 --> 00:35:54,752
{\an8}we'll leave.
780
00:35:54,819 --> 00:35:57,388
{\an8}- Yeah.
- What the fuck are you doing?
781
00:35:57,455 --> 00:35:59,190
{\an8}Where's the Cred?
You got some Cred?
782
00:35:59,257 --> 00:36:00,625
{\an8}Butters, Butters, calm down.
783
00:36:00,691 --> 00:36:02,260
They're gonna take me out, man.
784
00:36:02,326 --> 00:36:05,096
I should just turn myself in.
I'll be safer in jail.
785
00:36:05,162 --> 00:36:07,265
Listen, dude, I went to Pueblo
'cause of you.
786
00:36:07,331 --> 00:36:08,966
Why did you tell us
we could get Mega Cred
787
00:36:09,033 --> 00:36:10,535
when you knew
there wasn't enough?
788
00:36:10,601 --> 00:36:12,670
Brah, I don't even
drink that crap.
789
00:36:12,737 --> 00:36:14,205
Don't you get it, man?
790
00:36:14,272 --> 00:36:16,941
I'm just this tiny little piece
of a very big lie.
791
00:36:17,008 --> 00:36:19,043
You guys are all
being manipulated.
792
00:36:19,110 --> 00:36:21,245
I trusted you.
I've watched all your videos,
793
00:36:21,312 --> 00:36:23,514
and you told me to be strong
and never give up.
794
00:36:23,581 --> 00:36:25,483
That's all just Cred
messing with me?
795
00:36:25,550 --> 00:36:27,985
Don't you get it?
I don't work for Cred.
796
00:36:28,052 --> 00:36:30,588
The Cred is just there
to get views, man.
797
00:36:30,655 --> 00:36:32,256
'Cause kids love it so much.
798
00:36:32,323 --> 00:36:35,192
But if Cred isn't your sponsor,
then-then who is?
799
00:36:35,259 --> 00:36:38,796
If you knew,
it would make you sick.
800
00:36:39,764 --> 00:36:42,400
They just use you and Cred
to get to us,
801
00:36:42,466 --> 00:36:44,068
and those higher-up people
802
00:36:44,135 --> 00:36:45,937
can get us
some limited-edition Cred?
803
00:36:46,003 --> 00:36:48,940
- Who has the Cred?
- Butters, Jesus.
804
00:36:53,578 --> 00:36:55,379
Oh, there-there she is.
805
00:36:55,446 --> 00:36:57,114
Hey, Sharon.
806
00:36:57,181 --> 00:36:58,683
This is my wife, Sharon.
807
00:36:58,749 --> 00:37:00,918
She's an OnlyFans model
just like me.
808
00:37:00,985 --> 00:37:03,854
We are both legally
supplementing our income.
809
00:37:03,921 --> 00:37:06,223
So you work
with your husband, ma'am?
810
00:37:06,290 --> 00:37:08,893
No, we have very different
OnlyFans accounts.
811
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,895
I could never do what he does.
812
00:37:10,962 --> 00:37:12,997
Thanks, honey, it's nice for you
to finally admit it.
813
00:37:13,064 --> 00:37:15,666
Now I'd like to know
what I'm being detained for.
814
00:37:15,733 --> 00:37:17,535
Exposing children
to pornography,
815
00:37:17,602 --> 00:37:19,236
soliciting nude images
to a minor,
816
00:37:19,303 --> 00:37:20,571
child endangerment...
817
00:37:20,638 --> 00:37:22,340
Oh, come on, like it's just me?
818
00:37:22,406 --> 00:37:23,908
Everybody's doing it.
819
00:37:23,975 --> 00:37:26,177
There's an entire network
where everyone just pretends
820
00:37:26,243 --> 00:37:28,045
Internet platforms
aren't made for children
821
00:37:28,112 --> 00:37:31,182
but they all auction our kids
to the highest bidder.
822
00:37:32,216 --> 00:37:35,820
You seem like some kind of
influencer expert.
823
00:37:35,886 --> 00:37:37,989
Would you say these things
on record?
824
00:37:38,055 --> 00:37:39,890
No, 'cause
I'm a sovereign citizen,
825
00:37:39,957 --> 00:37:42,526
and I don't need to tell you
anything.
826
00:37:42,593 --> 00:37:45,663
- Randy, you need to cooperate.
- Why?
827
00:37:45,730 --> 00:37:48,032
I'll tell you why, scumbag.
828
00:37:48,099 --> 00:37:50,501
Your posts drew in
a lot of children,
829
00:37:50,568 --> 00:37:52,470
and they like to copy
what they see.
830
00:37:52,536 --> 00:37:56,340
So then kids started creating
their own erotic content
831
00:37:56,407 --> 00:37:58,275
based on yours.
832
00:38:00,411 --> 00:38:02,146
- What?
- That's right.
833
00:38:02,213 --> 00:38:05,016
We've just found
sexuality explicit,
834
00:38:05,082 --> 00:38:08,252
pornographic images of minors.
835
00:38:08,319 --> 00:38:10,955
I warn you,
what you are about to see
836
00:38:11,022 --> 00:38:14,425
is extremely disturbing
and graphic.
837
00:38:26,337 --> 00:38:29,507
Oh, God. Ugh.
838
00:38:29,573 --> 00:38:31,075
Oh, don't close your eyes now.
839
00:38:31,142 --> 00:38:34,211
You think these miners deserved
to be treated like this?
840
00:38:44,789 --> 00:38:47,925
What have I done? I had no idea.
841
00:38:47,992 --> 00:38:51,095
Randy, you knew kids were
watching your content.
842
00:38:51,162 --> 00:38:53,731
Yeah, but I never knew
it would lead to...
843
00:38:53,798 --> 00:38:55,933
pornographic images of miners.
844
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,935
God, it's disgusting.
845
00:38:58,002 --> 00:39:00,971
Being an influencer
is disgusting.
846
00:39:01,038 --> 00:39:03,507
All right, I'm gonna tell you
everything I know
847
00:39:03,574 --> 00:39:05,543
about how the system works.
848
00:39:05,609 --> 00:39:07,211
This has to stop.
849
00:39:08,145 --> 00:39:09,447
Hey, what's up, guys?
850
00:39:09,513 --> 00:39:11,048
Just wanted to let you all knowthat I think
851
00:39:11,115 --> 00:39:12,516
maybe I'm gonna get killedor arrested,
852
00:39:12,583 --> 00:39:14,452
so I'm hiding outin this motel room.
853
00:39:14,518 --> 00:39:17,088
Be sure to like and subscribe.It really helps the channel out.
854
00:39:17,154 --> 00:39:18,956
{\an8}Dude, will you stopmaking videos?
855
00:39:19,023 --> 00:39:20,991
I don't know what else
to do, okay?
856
00:39:21,058 --> 00:39:23,728
All I've ever done
is make fucking videos.
857
00:39:23,794 --> 00:39:25,596
But for who?
You said it wasn't for Cred,
858
00:39:25,663 --> 00:39:27,131
so then who sponsors you?
859
00:39:27,198 --> 00:39:29,233
I just wanted to be a big influencer.
860
00:39:29,300 --> 00:39:31,569
So I got put on this stage
and I was auctioned off
861
00:39:31,635 --> 00:39:33,170
to the highest bidder.
862
00:39:33,237 --> 00:39:36,140
People will pay anything to push
their agenda on you guys.
863
00:39:36,207 --> 00:39:38,409
What, you mean, like, the
Chinese government or something?
864
00:39:38,476 --> 00:39:41,312
I'm sponsored by people worse
than the Chinese government.
865
00:39:41,378 --> 00:39:43,914
I can't tell you who they are,
because then the companies
866
00:39:43,981 --> 00:39:46,317
that run the whole system
will have me killed.
867
00:39:46,383 --> 00:39:48,352
We deserve to know
who's been manipulating us.
868
00:39:48,419 --> 00:39:51,756
Tell us the truth and we'll
make sure you're safe, okay?
869
00:39:52,556 --> 00:39:54,091
You promise?
870
00:39:54,158 --> 00:39:56,494
Yes, we promise.
871
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:58,195
Fine.
872
00:39:58,262 --> 00:40:00,965
The truth is,
I'm being paid by...
873
00:40:03,367 --> 00:40:05,102
{\an8}Whoops!
874
00:40:07,805 --> 00:40:09,406
{\an8}-
- Okay, okay.
875
00:40:09,473 --> 00:40:12,076
{\an8}We don't care who's trying
to influence us!
876
00:40:18,082 --> 00:40:19,383
The game is up, scumbag.
877
00:40:19,450 --> 00:40:21,986
We know about
the whole operation.
878
00:40:24,421 --> 00:40:26,157
- We know everything.
879
00:40:26,223 --> 00:40:28,859
The influencers are being paid
by organizations
880
00:40:28,926 --> 00:40:32,029
to knowingly influence children.
881
00:40:33,731 --> 00:40:35,499
The data shows that consumers
882
00:40:35,566 --> 00:40:39,837
of social media platforms are
predominately adults over 21.
883
00:40:39,904 --> 00:40:41,305
Oh, come on.
884
00:40:41,372 --> 00:40:43,407
Within tech companies,
it's an open secret
885
00:40:43,474 --> 00:40:47,645
that millions of users are
actually under the age of 13.
886
00:40:47,711 --> 00:40:49,947
Tech companies are working diligently
887
00:40:50,014 --> 00:40:52,249
to find ways to make
the Internet safer for children,
888
00:40:52,316 --> 00:40:53,884
but these methods
are often criticized
889
00:40:53,951 --> 00:40:56,086
for violating free speech.
890
00:40:56,153 --> 00:40:59,757
Okay, and tech companies
use those assertions
891
00:40:59,824 --> 00:41:03,928
and their endless cash to keep
regulations tied up in court
892
00:41:03,994 --> 00:41:07,932
so they can continue
to profit off of our kids.
893
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:13,904
Okay, well, you'll never
take me alive, copper.
894
00:41:20,578 --> 00:41:24,181
He's still alive.
Let's get City General out here.
895
00:41:27,418 --> 00:41:31,055
Who do you work for?
Who's trying to influence me?
896
00:41:38,796 --> 00:41:40,364
He's just the middleman, kids.
897
00:41:40,431 --> 00:41:44,268
Whoever was trying to influence
you is still a mystery.
898
00:41:58,249 --> 00:42:00,551
{\an8}Hey, fellas, I got an idea.
899
00:42:00,618 --> 00:42:03,020
{\an8}How about we just keep
our affinity group,
900
00:42:03,087 --> 00:42:04,588
{\an8}but instead of it being
about Cred,
901
00:42:04,655 --> 00:42:07,691
{\an8}it's just about how proud we are
of who we are.
902
00:42:07,758 --> 00:42:10,027
{\an8}No, they won't let us do that,
Butters, 'cause we're white.
903
00:42:10,094 --> 00:42:11,395
{\an8}White people can't be in groups
talking about
904
00:42:11,462 --> 00:42:13,464
{\an8}how proud they are,
it doesn't fly.
905
00:42:13,530 --> 00:42:14,865
{\an8}Dang it.
906
00:42:14,932 --> 00:42:16,734
{\an8}Well, then, I guess
we just got to accept
907
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:18,469
{\an8}that we're gonna
go to school tomorrow
908
00:42:18,535 --> 00:42:20,337
{\an8}and get totally boned.
909
00:42:20,404 --> 00:42:21,672
{\an8}Yep.
910
00:42:21,739 --> 00:42:23,107
{\an8}
911
00:42:23,173 --> 00:42:26,343
{\an8}Hey, look, you guys. It's Cred.
912
00:42:32,216 --> 00:42:35,486
Mr. Marsh? What are you doing
with all that Cred?
913
00:42:35,552 --> 00:42:39,256
I'm putting it where it belongs,
in the garbage.
914
00:42:41,158 --> 00:42:43,127
But that's, like, Jelly Roll
Midnight Waffle House.
915
00:42:43,193 --> 00:42:44,995
Do you know what that's worth?
916
00:42:45,062 --> 00:42:46,463
Yeah, I know what it's worth.
917
00:42:46,530 --> 00:42:48,565
It's worth gold
to all the people in the world
918
00:42:48,632 --> 00:42:51,502
who want to use social media
to influence children.
919
00:42:51,568 --> 00:42:54,171
But there's more to life
than making money.
920
00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:57,708
And there's more to marriage
than just beating your wife.
921
00:42:57,775 --> 00:42:59,443
The bottom line is that
922
00:42:59,510 --> 00:43:02,146
all this social media
influencer garbage
923
00:43:02,212 --> 00:43:04,815
is not suitable for children.
924
00:43:04,882 --> 00:43:06,917
And if you're a kid
on social media,
925
00:43:06,984 --> 00:43:10,821
you have to know that someone
is always trying to get to you.
926
00:43:10,888 --> 00:43:13,257
All you have to do
is ask yourself,
927
00:43:13,324 --> 00:43:17,261
"Who is it that wants
to influence me the most?"
928
00:43:20,798 --> 00:43:23,267
Holy shit.
929
00:43:26,470 --> 00:43:28,906
Janice!
930
00:43:30,474 --> 00:43:33,610
Oh, Clyde, where have you been?
We've been worried sick.
931
00:43:33,677 --> 00:43:35,746
It was you, this whole time.
932
00:43:35,813 --> 00:43:38,248
{\an8}You've been trying
to influence me for months.
933
00:43:38,315 --> 00:43:39,817
Clyde, you really should have
934
00:43:39,883 --> 00:43:41,318
let your father know
where you were...
935
00:43:41,385 --> 00:43:43,554
You've been paying an influencer
to try and reach me,
936
00:43:43,620 --> 00:43:45,622
and you caused this whole
fucking mess!
937
00:43:45,689 --> 00:43:48,092
What is this about, Janice?
938
00:43:48,158 --> 00:43:52,463
I don't think people understand
how hard it is to be a stepmom.
939
00:43:53,697 --> 00:43:55,532
You want to try
and teach your kids,
940
00:43:55,599 --> 00:43:59,069
but they don't listen because
you're not their "real parent."
941
00:44:00,237 --> 00:44:03,340
I just wanted to be
a good influence on you, Clyde.
942
00:44:03,407 --> 00:44:05,175
But influencing kids these days
943
00:44:05,242 --> 00:44:09,046
requires good lighting
and a quality microphone.
944
00:44:09,913 --> 00:44:11,982
But why Cred?
If you're so against it,
945
00:44:12,049 --> 00:44:13,617
then why have it
in all those videos?
946
00:44:13,684 --> 00:44:16,220
That was just to get
your views, Clyde.
947
00:44:16,286 --> 00:44:19,690
Your views
are so important to me,
948
00:44:19,757 --> 00:44:21,525
because we never talk.
949
00:44:21,592 --> 00:44:24,128
Maybe what I did
was all a bit much,
950
00:44:24,194 --> 00:44:25,996
but look at us.
951
00:44:26,063 --> 00:44:28,699
Here we are, talking.
952
00:44:31,468 --> 00:44:34,004
{\an8}Janice, can I call you "Mom"?
953
00:44:34,071 --> 00:44:36,173
{\an8}Yes, of course.
954
00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:38,342
{\an8}Fuck you, Mom!
955
00:44:41,211 --> 00:44:43,414
:
Oh...
956
00:44:47,284 --> 00:44:49,753
Whoa, Spencer,
is that Mega Cred?
957
00:44:49,820 --> 00:44:51,255
Yeah, pretty cool, right?
958
00:44:51,321 --> 00:44:53,290
"Pretty cool"?
How'd you get that?
959
00:44:53,357 --> 00:44:55,793
Oh, I just went to this thing
in Pueblo. No big deal.
960
00:44:55,859 --> 00:44:59,129
Everyone! Everyone, can I have
your attention, please?
961
00:44:59,196 --> 00:45:01,365
We have something really
important to tell you guys.
962
00:45:01,432 --> 00:45:02,900
Tweek and Butters and I
have learned
963
00:45:02,966 --> 00:45:04,468
a lot of things recently.
964
00:45:04,535 --> 00:45:07,071
We have news
that you will all find shocking.
965
00:45:07,137 --> 00:45:09,073
You see, we talked to Mr. Marsh,
966
00:45:09,139 --> 00:45:11,308
and he gave us four bottles
967
00:45:11,375 --> 00:45:13,877
of Jelly Roll
Midnight Waffle House.
968
00:45:15,379 --> 00:45:17,114
- No, no, no. Back up.
969
00:45:17,181 --> 00:45:19,550
This is for the Cred
affinity group only.
970
00:45:19,616 --> 00:45:22,219
- You can look at our Cred,
but don't touch. - All right!
971
00:45:22,286 --> 00:45:24,755
Oh, oh, hey, Clyde.
972
00:45:24,822 --> 00:45:26,490
Say, Clyde, you, uh,
973
00:45:26,557 --> 00:45:28,492
forgot your super special
Jelly Roll Cred
974
00:45:28,559 --> 00:45:30,494
at the group meeting, remember?
975
00:45:38,168 --> 00:45:40,037
It tastes amazing.
976
00:45:40,104 --> 00:45:41,271
- All right!
977
00:45:41,338 --> 00:45:43,674
Yeah! Clyde's got Cred again!
75718
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