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1
00:00:03,170 --> 00:00:04,436
Mr. Madison!
2
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:05,871
It's me, Myrna.
3
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,606
Your secretary.
4
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,875
I let myself in like you said.
5
00:00:09,943 --> 00:00:11,877
Mr. Madison?
6
00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:21,834
Ah! Ah!
7
00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:30,328
You scared me.
8
00:00:30,397 --> 00:00:32,247
This room scares me.
9
00:00:34,051 --> 00:00:35,133
I must have dozed off.
10
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:38,203
You know, you ought
to get an ecology award
11
00:00:38,271 --> 00:00:40,989
for recycling all the
garbage into your room.
12
00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:44,008
A secretary who can only
type seven words a minute
13
00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:45,143
shouldn't be fresh.
14
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,079
I'm sorry.
15
00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:48,391
Got a bad headache?
16
00:00:48,415 --> 00:00:51,016
No, I got a good headache.
17
00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:52,767
There's your mail. Oh. Yeah.
18
00:00:52,837 --> 00:00:53,768
Here's tomorrow's column.
19
00:00:53,838 --> 00:00:55,204
Get it in right away, will you?
20
00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:56,872
Wait a minute. Come here.
21
00:00:56,941 --> 00:00:58,674
Something wrong
about the way you look.
22
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,125
What?
23
00:01:00,177 --> 00:01:01,177
You look good.
24
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,161
Thank you.
25
00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:04,875
It really does show, doesn't it?
26
00:01:04,899 --> 00:01:08,300
I'm so happy. I... Why
is your mirror up there?
27
00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:09,579
That's where the nail is.
28
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:11,303
May I?
29
00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:13,755
Yeah, sure, go ahead. Here.
30
00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:16,291
I do look good, don't I?
31
00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:18,527
Mr. Madison, my
ship finally came in.
32
00:01:18,595 --> 00:01:20,757
I met the greatest
guy, a stockbroker.
33
00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:22,225
And I think it looks serious.
34
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,260
Yeah? Where'd you meet him?
35
00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:25,027
Well, I got up the nerve to join
36
00:01:25,051 --> 00:01:28,320
one of those computer
dating agencies, Executron.
37
00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:30,322
They only handle executives
38
00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:32,223
and girls with a
college education.
39
00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:33,992
I'm the latter.
40
00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:35,527
You've heard of them...
41
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,113
You know, "Executron, where
the wealthy meet the healthy."
42
00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:39,626
Yeah, I saw their
ad in the paper.
43
00:01:39,650 --> 00:01:41,093
There's a man and
a woman walking up
44
00:01:41,117 --> 00:01:42,195
the steps to a bank. Right?
45
00:01:42,219 --> 00:01:43,518
It's really terrific.
46
00:01:43,587 --> 00:01:45,787
In fact, uh, you ought to
47
00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:46,988
sign up with them.
48
00:01:47,057 --> 00:01:48,189
What, are you kidding?
49
00:01:48,258 --> 00:01:50,659
I don't need a
computer dating service!
50
00:01:50,728 --> 00:01:53,328
I got a terrific social life!
51
00:01:53,397 --> 00:01:55,997
Mr. Madison, I'm the
last to talk out of turn,
52
00:01:56,066 --> 00:01:57,399
but I am your secretary,
53
00:01:57,468 --> 00:01:59,334
and I know all
about your social life.
54
00:01:59,403 --> 00:02:00,403
What about it?
55
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,153
You're not hot.
56
00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:03,922
I date a lot!
57
00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:05,691
You stay home a lot more.
58
00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,637
Well, I mean, what, uh,
everybody hits a slump
59
00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:08,855
once in a while, don't they?
60
00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:11,112
What's that?
61
00:02:11,181 --> 00:02:12,113
Tonic.
62
00:02:12,182 --> 00:02:15,050
Do you always take
tonic with a shoehorn?
63
00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:17,836
I couldn't find a spoon,
64
00:02:17,904 --> 00:02:20,384
but I clean it, I clean it.
65
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:25,526
What do you put your
shoes on with? A fork?
66
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,945
Well, here's their card
in case you're interested.
67
00:02:31,969 --> 00:02:33,547
How much did this
set you back? $200.
68
00:02:33,571 --> 00:02:36,238
$200. That's a lot of money.
69
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:39,674
Mr. Madison, you can't
put a price on loneliness.
70
00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:41,688
Think about it. I'll
see you Monday.
71
00:02:41,712 --> 00:02:42,844
Okay, hon.
72
00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:47,649
Executron. Uh,
what does she know?
73
00:02:49,386 --> 00:02:51,546
She knows I'm not hot,
that's what she knows.
74
00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:58,877
On November 13, Felix Unger
75
00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:02,814
was asked to remove himself
from his place of residence.
76
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,950
That request came from his wife.
77
00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:07,485
Deep down, he
knew she was right,
78
00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:10,756
but he also knew that
someday he would return to her.
79
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,958
With nowhere else to go,
80
00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:15,576
he appeared at the home
of his friend, Oscar Madison.
81
00:03:15,646 --> 00:03:16,945
Several years earlier,
82
00:03:17,014 --> 00:03:19,014
Madison's wife
had thrown him out,
83
00:03:19,082 --> 00:03:21,149
requesting that he never return.
84
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:23,718
Can two divorced
men share an apartment
85
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,937
without driving
each other crazy?
86
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:29,107
♪ ♪
87
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:23,762
I'm home, Felix!
88
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:26,631
Good. Did you wipe your feet?
89
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:27,833
Yeah.
90
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:30,502
Good. I just shampooed the rug.
91
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:31,503
What are you making?
92
00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,149
Little melon balls. Good.
93
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:35,073
No! Not with your
fingers! Come on.
94
00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:37,876
Why don't you make one big one?
95
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,678
'Cause if I made one that size,
96
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:41,691
that's the size you'd
put in your mouth.
97
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,181
Go wash your hands.
98
00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:45,851
He's gonna wash his
hands in the kitchen sink.
99
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:47,786
Any mail for me?
100
00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:49,187
Nah, nothing.
101
00:04:49,255 --> 00:04:52,357
Just an ad to remove unwanted
hair, and a wrong address.
102
00:04:52,425 --> 00:04:53,570
Where's the wrong address?
103
00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:56,060
Over there. A Mr. Andre LaPlume.
104
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,529
Did you ever?
105
00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:58,530
Don't do that!
106
00:04:58,599 --> 00:04:59,776
That's a federal offense!
107
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,210
Give me that.
You'll get in trouble!
108
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:02,934
No federal offense,
It's my letter.
109
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:05,264
What... you've
changed your name?
110
00:05:05,288 --> 00:05:08,940
Oscar. You've sent away for
dirty books under another name.
111
00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:11,609
Will you cut it out?
112
00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:12,810
I'm Andre LaPlume.
113
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:14,145
It's my pen name.
114
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:17,615
Pen name? LaPlume?
115
00:05:17,685 --> 00:05:20,385
How did you ever think of that?
116
00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:22,115
What do you need a pen name for?
117
00:05:22,139 --> 00:05:23,816
Well, if you must... What?
118
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:24,840
None of your business.
119
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:28,307
Don't tell me.
120
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:31,296
Makes me no never mind.
121
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:32,875
If it's none of my bee's wax,
122
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:36,034
it's none of my bee's wax.
123
00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:37,035
Come on, what?
124
00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:38,348
Tell me. Please.
125
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:42,307
All right. Well, I... I
signed up with a...
126
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:43,975
What? Come on.
127
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,226
Computer dating outfit.
128
00:05:45,295 --> 00:05:48,296
Computer dating? You? Yeah.
129
00:05:48,365 --> 00:05:50,009
The last of the lukewarm lovers.
130
00:05:50,033 --> 00:05:51,299
I had to tell him.
131
00:05:51,368 --> 00:05:52,779
Oh, Mr. LaPlume! All right.
132
00:05:52,803 --> 00:05:54,030
I'd be ashamed.
133
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:56,187
I am. Why do you think I
didn't use my real name?
134
00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:57,700
Aw, come on! Andre!
Andre... aw, aw, please.
135
00:05:57,724 --> 00:05:59,168
Aw, come on, Felix.
I'm dying to know.
136
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,636
How'd you get mixed
up with computer dating?
137
00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:01,904
Well, let's face
it, Felix. I'm lonely.
138
00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:03,261
I'm lonely and I'm tired,
139
00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:04,974
and I'm tired of all those
empty conversations
140
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:06,278
about sex and astrology.
141
00:06:06,316 --> 00:06:07,961
I want a meaningful relation...
142
00:06:07,985 --> 00:06:10,079
All right, laugh. Go ahead.
You want to laugh, laugh.
143
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,582
But I'm tired of going
every night to my lonely bed.
144
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:15,172
Lonely bed. Everything
you've ever owned is in there.
145
00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:20,278
Boy, I tell you, I thought
if there was one person
146
00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:21,857
in this world who
would have understood,
147
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:24,001
it would have been you,
but was I wrong, boy.
148
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:25,194
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Look.
149
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,617
I'll stab myself with a carrot.
150
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:29,487
No. Look. No. You're
absolutely right.
151
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,676
Believe me. Computer
dating is a legitimate,
152
00:06:31,708 --> 00:06:33,275
time-tested way to bring
153
00:06:33,343 --> 00:06:34,487
perfectly suited
people together.
154
00:06:34,511 --> 00:06:36,356
And you really think
I did the right thing?
155
00:06:36,380 --> 00:06:37,812
Did you do the right thing?
156
00:06:37,881 --> 00:06:40,615
What have you had until now?
157
00:06:40,684 --> 00:06:45,053
Chance meetings in hallways
with door-to-door fund-raisers.
158
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:47,955
Brief encounters with
airline stewardesses
159
00:06:48,024 --> 00:06:51,042
who just wanted to sit
down and rest their feet.
160
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:53,178
That's not for you.
161
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,558
You deserve something better.
162
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:58,166
You want something that will
blossom into a relationship...
163
00:06:58,235 --> 00:07:01,135
between two people...
164
00:07:01,205 --> 00:07:04,922
whose fate has been charted
not only by the stars above...
165
00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:08,093
but by the computers below.
166
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:10,996
Compare the transience of beer
167
00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:14,099
with the enduring
bouquet of fine wine.
168
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:17,034
And you ask me, did
you do the right thing?
169
00:07:17,087 --> 00:07:18,569
I don't know. Did I?
170
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:21,868
It's been such a long
time since I asked.
171
00:07:21,892 --> 00:07:23,675
Cheers.
172
00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:36,954
Hey, where were you?
173
00:07:37,023 --> 00:07:38,956
I had a date with Miriam.
174
00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:40,091
Upstairs Miriam?
175
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:41,859
Yeah. Lovely person.
176
00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,294
How come I haven't met her?
177
00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:44,643
I'm preparing her.
178
00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:46,164
She's very delicate.
179
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:47,265
Where'd you take her?
180
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:48,633
Didn't take her anywhere.
181
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:49,967
We never left the building.
182
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:52,265
We stayed in and watched
an educational show on TV.
183
00:07:52,289 --> 00:07:53,588
Oh, that's thrilling.
184
00:07:53,657 --> 00:07:55,335
No, it was very, very exciting.
185
00:07:55,359 --> 00:07:57,858
It was all about the habits of
the Central American raccoon.
186
00:07:57,928 --> 00:08:00,562
No kidding. It's
called the coatimundi,
187
00:08:00,630 --> 00:08:03,264
and it has an almost
prehensile nose.
188
00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:06,250
The coatimundi eats
nothing but dead worms,
189
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,120
and its diet is
better than yours.
190
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,199
What are you doing?
191
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:11,567
I'm filling out my
form, you know.
192
00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:13,119
The personality profile. For
the computer match-up. Yeah.
193
00:08:13,143 --> 00:08:14,075
I never knew that.
194
00:08:14,144 --> 00:08:15,944
What? You like square dancing?
195
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,207
You see? There's a lot
about me you don't know.
196
00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:19,798
♪ Grab your partner,
throw her 'round ♪
197
00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:21,465
♪ Kick her in the elbow... ♪
198
00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:23,512
Hey, hey. You're
making dust! Don't!
199
00:08:23,536 --> 00:08:24,613
I was stationed in Montana.
200
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:28,940
Favorite food... garbage.
201
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,275
Crêpe suzette.
202
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,421
Felix, leave me alone, will you?
203
00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:34,057
I gotta get this in
the mail by tomorrow
204
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:35,558
if I want to match
up this Saturday.
205
00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:36,642
What is this? What? What? What?
206
00:08:36,666 --> 00:08:39,601
Overall appearance:
above average?
207
00:08:39,669 --> 00:08:41,202
Yeah.
208
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:43,151
What's your definition of
average? The Wolf Man?
209
00:08:44,323 --> 00:08:45,334
The paper puts my picture
210
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,969
at the top of my
column every day.
211
00:08:46,993 --> 00:08:49,038
Would they do that if I
was just average looking?
212
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:51,129
The paper also prints
Mutt and Jeff every day,
213
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,408
and they're not
above average, either.
214
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,499
And Mutt's a better
dresser than you are.
215
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:55,945
Let me give it to you straight.
216
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,947
If I put down "average," I
get an average-looking girl,
217
00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:59,349
and that's not
what I'm looking for.
218
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:01,150
You've got to fill this out
with absolute accuracy
219
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,908
so they match you up
with the right person.
220
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,320
What do you mean, accuracy?
221
00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:06,155
It's not a science,
it's a matter of opinion.
222
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:08,257
Who's to say what's above
average, what's average?
223
00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:11,716
If there's one man in this world
who's average looking, it's you.
224
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:14,085
You're very nice-looking,
but you're average.
225
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:15,565
Is that right? Yes!
226
00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:17,634
What would you put down
for yourself on that question?
227
00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:19,268
Oh, well... No, I
want to know. No!
228
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,137
It's a very import... You
say that I'm average.
229
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:22,928
What are you?
230
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,797
Well above average.
231
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:27,610
You're well above me, huh?
232
00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:30,267
Yes. Were you almost
voted "Cutest Boy"
233
00:09:30,336 --> 00:09:31,669
in your high school yearbook?
234
00:09:31,721 --> 00:09:33,115
What do you mean, "almost"?
235
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:35,384
Well, I would have been, but
you couldn't have two awards,
236
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,942
and I already had the
Home Economics Medal.
237
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:39,077
But let's face it.
238
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:41,246
I've always been
a very cute person.
239
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:44,215
Well, they don't have any...
any category down here,
240
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:45,750
"Cutest, Very Cute."
241
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,630
All they have is
"Excellent, Above Average,
242
00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:50,199
Average, Below Average," and
"We're returning your deposit."
243
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:52,690
You're... you're
defeating the very purpose
244
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,291
of computer date-ups. You...
245
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:55,671
I'm above average!
Above average!
246
00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:56,706
And I'm leaving it in!
247
00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:58,630
Pain in the neck!
248
00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:00,297
Come in and spoil everything.
249
00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:05,169
"Do you believe
in premarital sex?"
250
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,639
You checked "Yes,"
"No," and "Sometimes."
251
00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:09,702
You checked all
three... Why is that?
252
00:10:09,726 --> 00:10:11,959
I'm allowed my moods.
253
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,372
I'm just trying to be honest.
254
00:10:13,396 --> 00:10:15,641
Then why aren't you honest
about your averageness?
255
00:10:15,665 --> 00:10:17,232
Again with the...
Will you go to bed?
256
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:18,644
Let me finish this, please. Oh!
257
00:10:18,668 --> 00:10:20,634
Centuries of science
have brought us
258
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,303
to the computer age, and...
259
00:10:27,744 --> 00:10:29,310
You're expecting locusts?
260
00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:34,582
Oscar, you're going to foul up
the entire computer mechanism
261
00:10:34,650 --> 00:10:36,050
if you're lying on
your application.
262
00:10:36,086 --> 00:10:40,087
I am not lying! I'm trying
to tell the absolute truth.
263
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:42,390
Favorite sport... Yacht racing.
264
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,200
Check our coats, please.
265
00:10:52,269 --> 00:10:54,001
On hangers if
you will. No hooks.
266
00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:56,337
We have no hooks, monsieur.
267
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:58,973
Don't be self-conscious.
268
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:00,736
You're doing the right thing.
269
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,041
You are, you are. Believe me.
270
00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:05,875
You nervous? No.
271
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,677
Then why are you
drinking that man's drink?
272
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:10,301
I'm sorry.
273
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,848
He's got a computer blind date.
274
00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:12,872
Felix!
275
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,005
Where's Miriam?
276
00:11:14,073 --> 00:11:15,351
She'll be here.
She's joining us.
277
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,687
So tell me, what's
your date's name?
278
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:19,644
Uh... Sarah. Sarah Morgan.
279
00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:21,312
That's very good.
280
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,359
What? I like, well,
Sarah... biblical.
281
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:25,194
Morgan, money... J.P. Morgan.
282
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,862
Gives me very good vibrations.
283
00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:28,931
Your Sarah Morgan's going
to be a knockout. I know.
284
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:30,566
Hey, maybe you're
right. Wow! Look at that.
285
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:33,324
This is Miriam.
286
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:35,571
Hello, funny-face. Hi, Felix.
287
00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:36,528
Miriam, this is Oscar.
288
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,156
Hi. Good to see
you. How are you?
289
00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:39,842
We're waiting for
his date, so sit down.
290
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,477
That's right. It's someone
you've never met before.
291
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:42,912
How exciting. Yeah,
frightening, too.
292
00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:44,046
Paging Andre LaPlume.
293
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:45,670
Paging Andre LaPlume.
294
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:46,671
Andre LaPlume?
295
00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:47,672
Oscar. What?
296
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:49,051
Paging... Andre LaPlume.
297
00:11:49,075 --> 00:11:50,341
Oh... oh, here, Yes, sir.
298
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:54,345
I've seated Miss
Morgan at your table.
299
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:57,148
Well... this is it.
300
00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:59,684
Courage, LaPlume.
301
00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:01,030
Go ahead. I have a feeling
302
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,532
you're gonna have
a wonderful surprise.
303
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:05,036
We'll join you in a
minute. Go ahead.
304
00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:17,268
You're right. What a surprise!
305
00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:18,347
What does she look like?
306
00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:19,382
She looks like your ex-wife.
307
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,337
She looks like Gloria?
308
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:21,917
Yeah...
309
00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:23,374
Gloria!
310
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:24,876
Oh, Felix.
311
00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:26,460
She's his ex-wife.
312
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:34,263
Miriam, this is Gloria Unger.
313
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:37,121
My wife... my... my ex-wife.
314
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,484
Gloria, this is Miriam Welby.
315
00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,941
Hi. I've heard a lot about you.
316
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:43,277
All nice. All nice.
317
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,865
Huh.
318
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,067
Well...
319
00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:50,136
Well.
320
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:52,119
Hmm.
321
00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:53,471
I like your dress.
322
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,373
I bought that dress.
323
00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:00,378
You know...
324
00:13:02,065 --> 00:13:03,164
I-If you don't mind,
325
00:13:03,233 --> 00:13:04,794
I think I'd like to go
to the ladies' room.
326
00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:05,750
Of course. Slide out.
327
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:06,751
Slide out.
328
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:07,830
You'd better slide this way.
329
00:13:07,854 --> 00:13:09,320
I'll come with you.
330
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:11,433
Hey, that's not a bad
idea; I think maybe I'll...
331
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,424
Wait, wait.
332
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:15,293
Okay.
333
00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:16,494
Slide in here.
334
00:13:16,562 --> 00:13:19,122
You slide in, I'm
wearing out my pants.
335
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:23,968
How could you?
336
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,447
What do you mean: how could I?
337
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:28,017
I was expecting a Sarah
Morgan Sarah Morgan,
338
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:29,268
not a Gloria Sarah Morgan.
339
00:13:32,795 --> 00:13:33,728
What's the matter?
340
00:13:33,796 --> 00:13:36,163
Hypoglycemia.
341
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,799
Whenever I'm upset, my
blood sugar gets very low.
342
00:13:38,868 --> 00:13:39,934
This is all your fault...
343
00:13:40,019 --> 00:13:41,819
The way you lied
on your application.
344
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:42,998
Yacht racing, for pity's sake.
345
00:13:43,022 --> 00:13:44,867
Aw, how did I know this
was going to happen?
346
00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:46,869
You put down that you're
above average in appearance,
347
00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:48,259
so they matched
you up with Gloria
348
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:49,638
because she's suited to
someone above average
349
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:50,711
like me.
350
00:13:50,780 --> 00:13:51,713
That's why you're divorced. Oh,
351
00:13:51,781 --> 00:13:53,348
what's that got to do with it?
352
00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:54,582
What am I going to do?
353
00:13:54,651 --> 00:13:55,761
Well, we can stay
and have dinner
354
00:13:55,785 --> 00:13:56,829
or we can split,
whatever we want...
355
00:13:56,853 --> 00:13:58,063
Tell me, tell me,
what should I do?
356
00:13:58,087 --> 00:13:59,565
You should remain calm
is what you should do.
357
00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:00,921
Here they come.
358
00:14:00,990 --> 00:14:02,000
Slide out.
359
00:14:02,024 --> 00:14:05,293
Hi, kids.
360
00:14:05,362 --> 00:14:07,295
How did it go?
361
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,866
Slide in, slide in.
362
00:14:14,404 --> 00:14:16,014
She means absolutely
nothing to me. Slide in.
363
00:14:16,038 --> 00:14:17,198
She lives in our building.
364
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:18,822
I've done my
laundry with her twice.
365
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:20,336
That's absolutely
it. Felix, honestly.
366
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,160
I want you to date.
367
00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:23,272
You do?
368
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:27,932
It's a perfectly
healthy, normal thing.
369
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:28,933
Well, here we are.
370
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,212
We're all healthful, normy.
371
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:32,487
We're what?
372
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:36,174
We're mature, we're
adults with above average
373
00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:37,842
senses of humor
if I'm not mistaken.
374
00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:40,144
So, uh... let's, let's
have fun, shall we?
375
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,423
That's a good idea;
we'll have a party.
376
00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:42,758
What are we gonna
do? Look, look.
377
00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:44,510
This is just a double
date, it's a double date.
378
00:14:44,534 --> 00:14:46,534
I'm with Miriam.
379
00:14:46,603 --> 00:14:48,097
Gloria, you're with
Oscar over there, so...
380
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:50,221
the party's on me.
381
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:51,500
Excellent, monsieur.
382
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:53,135
Would you care for
some drinks before dinner?
383
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:54,303
Oh, yeah. Girls,
what would you like?
384
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:55,259
I'd like a Scotch. Scotch.
385
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,394
And I'd love a martini.
386
00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:57,873
Scotch and a
marti... Ah, ah, no.
387
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,508
I-I think you'd better
have a dry vermouth.
388
00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:00,993
Oh, it's not a vermouth
kind of evening.
389
00:15:01,017 --> 00:15:03,362
I think I know what
Gloria ought to have.
390
00:15:03,386 --> 00:15:05,303
Felix, please
don't order for me.
391
00:15:05,355 --> 00:15:06,399
You know I never liked that.
392
00:15:06,423 --> 00:15:07,900
Yeah, let her have
what she wants, will you?
393
00:15:07,924 --> 00:15:09,457
That's one Scotch
and one martini.
394
00:15:09,525 --> 00:15:12,037
Gloria will have a dry
vermouth on the rocks.
395
00:15:12,061 --> 00:15:13,255
I'll have a martini.
396
00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:14,645
She'll have a martini.
397
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:16,726
Uh, that's a vermouth
and two martinis.
398
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,127
Et vous, Monsieur LaPlume?
399
00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:20,229
What should I have, Felix?
400
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,185
Anything you want.
401
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,537
Have a martini.
402
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:24,572
Merci.
403
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:28,926
Felix, I happen to be
Oscar's date tonight.
404
00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:30,728
Oh, come on.
405
00:15:30,796 --> 00:15:33,964
That's, that's just because
of a computer error.
406
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:36,066
The whole thing is so silly.
407
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:37,201
Did you ever?
408
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,548
I think they're a cute couple.
409
00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:40,487
You do?
410
00:15:40,556 --> 00:15:42,189
Yeah. She does. Thank you.
411
00:15:42,258 --> 00:15:43,958
Well, let me ask you this.
412
00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:45,626
Do you think Oscar's
above average?
413
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:46,627
Above average what?
414
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,529
Above average in appearance.
415
00:15:48,598 --> 00:15:49,658
Yes, yes, I do.
416
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:50,726
Oh, thank you, Miriam. Oh,
417
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:51,760
would you stand up, please?
418
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:52,866
Will you cut that out?
419
00:15:52,935 --> 00:15:54,212
He's not above average!
420
00:15:54,236 --> 00:15:56,904
Don't scream at Miriam.
421
00:15:56,972 --> 00:15:58,584
I happen to think he's
above average, too.
422
00:15:58,608 --> 00:16:00,007
Thank you.
423
00:16:00,076 --> 00:16:01,953
Felix, you don't
need to pick on me
424
00:16:01,977 --> 00:16:03,055
just because you're jealous...
425
00:16:03,079 --> 00:16:04,223
of Oscar and Gloria.
426
00:16:04,247 --> 00:16:06,141
Why should I be jealous
of Andre LaPlume?
427
00:16:06,165 --> 00:16:07,564
That's enough, Felix!
428
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:13,104
I want to go home.
429
00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:14,187
I want to go home, too.
430
00:16:14,257 --> 00:16:15,389
I want to go home.
431
00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:20,823
Well, you coming or what?
432
00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:22,597
Okay, pout.
433
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,414
Monsieur LaPlume...
434
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:27,184
The party's on the pouter.
435
00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:29,887
Monsieur, your party
is not staying for dinner?
436
00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:31,000
Eh, Jean!
437
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:32,267
Vite, vite.
438
00:16:32,291 --> 00:16:33,401
Enleve l'argeuterie.
439
00:16:33,425 --> 00:16:34,358
I'm sorry, Monsieur.
440
00:16:34,426 --> 00:16:36,038
I need the table
for a larger party.
441
00:16:36,062 --> 00:16:36,994
Vite, vite.
442
00:16:37,063 --> 00:16:38,996
Eh, Jean.
443
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:46,203
Monsieur, your martini.
444
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:48,205
Bon appétit.
445
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:03,788
Oscar, are you awake?
446
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:06,491
No.
447
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:08,693
Oscar, I'm sorry.
448
00:17:08,762 --> 00:17:11,562
You didn't hear "no"?
449
00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:12,963
Oscar, please.
450
00:17:13,015 --> 00:17:16,117
I've been walking
the streets for hours.
451
00:17:16,185 --> 00:17:17,345
I've been thinking, Oscar.
452
00:17:17,386 --> 00:17:18,386
About what?
453
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:22,089
Listen to me, Oscar.
454
00:17:22,158 --> 00:17:24,086
We're going to
have a fireside chat?
455
00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:26,110
About tonight.
456
00:17:28,164 --> 00:17:30,697
Did Gloria resent
my dating Miriam?
457
00:17:30,766 --> 00:17:31,799
No, she did not.
458
00:17:31,868 --> 00:17:36,103
She was able to rise
above petty jealousy.
459
00:17:36,172 --> 00:17:37,283
But was I?
460
00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:38,433
No.
461
00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:40,724
Oscar, if I'm any
kind of man at all,
462
00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:43,644
I've got to come to you
with my head held high
463
00:17:43,712 --> 00:17:46,913
and say, "Go ahead,
Oscar, go with my blessing."
464
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:48,182
Go ahead and what?
465
00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:49,734
I want you to date Gloria again.
466
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,535
What?!
467
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:52,987
Why not?
468
00:17:53,055 --> 00:17:56,958
It's because of me, the
date didn't work out tonight.
469
00:17:57,026 --> 00:18:00,027
But if I were up
there somewhere...
470
00:18:00,096 --> 00:18:02,329
poor, dear, departed Felix,
471
00:18:02,398 --> 00:18:05,666
struck down in my prime by
who knows what terrible reason...
472
00:18:05,734 --> 00:18:08,636
Try for waking up Oscar.
473
00:18:08,704 --> 00:18:10,504
Never mind.
474
00:18:10,573 --> 00:18:14,775
If I was up there,
you'd be dating Gloria.
475
00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:16,121
You'd be discovering
for yourself
476
00:18:16,145 --> 00:18:17,889
what a glorious woman she is.
477
00:18:17,913 --> 00:18:20,091
Give it a try, will you?
478
00:18:20,115 --> 00:18:21,515
For me, if not for yourself,
479
00:18:21,584 --> 00:18:23,512
so I don't go through the
rest of my life hating myself.
480
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,680
I'll do it on one
condition. Name it.
481
00:18:25,704 --> 00:18:27,304
You let me go through
my life hating you.
482
00:18:29,792 --> 00:18:32,226
Thanks, Oscar, thanks.
483
00:18:46,008 --> 00:18:47,986
On your way, huh, buddy?
484
00:18:48,010 --> 00:18:50,570
Taking Gloria to
the ballet, huh?
485
00:18:51,146 --> 00:18:53,080
Have fun.
486
00:18:54,750 --> 00:18:56,761
You really want me to go?
487
00:18:56,785 --> 00:18:58,630
What does that
mean with the eyes?
488
00:18:58,654 --> 00:19:00,421
I want you to go.
489
00:19:04,410 --> 00:19:06,811
Hi, Felix.
490
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,078
Hi, Murray.
491
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,391
Hi, Oscar.
492
00:19:09,415 --> 00:19:10,348
How you feeling, Oscar?
493
00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:11,349
He feels great.
494
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:13,728
What am I smiling about?
495
00:19:13,752 --> 00:19:15,764
Well, I saw everybody smiling.
496
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:16,720
Come on in.
497
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:18,066
Hey, Oscar was dressed to kill.
498
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:19,022
Where's he going?
499
00:19:19,091 --> 00:19:20,424
He's got a date.
500
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,837
That's why he was smiling, huh?
501
00:19:22,861 --> 00:19:23,994
Another pushover.
502
00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:25,374
Come on, let's get to work.
503
00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:27,242
What song are you
doing in the police show?
504
00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:29,534
Uh... "Poor Little Buttercup."
505
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:31,580
Who chose that for you?
506
00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:33,137
My captain.
507
00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:35,765
He must hate
Gilbert and Sullivan.
508
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,887
How'd you like the ballet?
509
00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,494
Oh, that's terrific,
really terrific.
510
00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:42,480
I just love "Swan Lake."
511
00:19:42,548 --> 00:19:44,781
That's my favorite, my
fa... Especially, you know,
512
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:47,451
where the ducks put their
heads through the froufrous.
513
00:19:51,975 --> 00:19:53,819
I wonder how the New
York Rangers did tonight.
514
00:19:53,843 --> 00:19:54,843
Well, that's hard to say
515
00:19:54,911 --> 00:19:56,594
since the season
ended a few weeks ago.
516
00:19:56,646 --> 00:19:57,646
Oh.
517
00:20:00,149 --> 00:20:01,999
You got hypoglycemia, too?
518
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:04,084
Felix gave it to me.
519
00:20:05,187 --> 00:20:07,521
Oscar.
520
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:08,973
I give up if you give up.
521
00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:10,424
And I give up. Who
are we kidding?
522
00:20:10,493 --> 00:20:11,493
Gloria, look at us.
523
00:20:11,527 --> 00:20:12,571
We've known each
other for ten years.
524
00:20:12,595 --> 00:20:13,705
We've always been able to talk.
525
00:20:13,729 --> 00:20:14,940
Now we can't because
we're on a date?
526
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:16,012
That's all wrong.
527
00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:17,993
And it's all because
Felix is trying
528
00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:19,261
to prove he's not jealous.
529
00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:20,429
He's constantly trying to prove
530
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:21,563
he's a superior human being.
531
00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:25,139
I know, above average,
almost the cutest, I know.
532
00:20:25,207 --> 00:20:27,141
Let's go home.
533
00:20:27,209 --> 00:20:28,209
What good will that do?
534
00:20:28,243 --> 00:20:29,576
Don't you understand?
535
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:32,245
He's going to make us go out
on date after date after date,
536
00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:33,554
and there's no way to stop him.
537
00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:39,281
Unless we give
him a reason for it.
538
00:20:39,305 --> 00:20:42,022
Sarah.
539
00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:44,325
Andre.
540
00:20:44,393 --> 00:20:45,810
And...
541
00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:49,580
♪ My name, it is Buttercup ♪
542
00:20:49,649 --> 00:20:51,983
♪ Poor little Buttercup ♪
543
00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:56,386
♪ Though I could
never tell why ♪
544
00:20:56,455 --> 00:20:59,590
♪ But still I'm
called Buttercup ♪
545
00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:01,892
♪ Dear little Buttercup ♪
546
00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:05,830
♪ Sweet little Buttercup, I. ♪
547
00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:10,234
That's very good.
548
00:21:10,302 --> 00:21:12,569
Felix, I'm not going to do it.
549
00:21:12,639 --> 00:21:14,171
The other guys may laugh.
550
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,241
No, they'll respect you for it.
551
00:21:17,309 --> 00:21:19,521
I can't wait until I
see your costume.
552
00:21:19,545 --> 00:21:20,622
Hey, Felix, Murray.
553
00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:25,149
Hi, Gloria.
554
00:21:25,217 --> 00:21:26,883
Well, what are you doing here?
555
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:28,547
I brought her home.
What do you think?
556
00:21:28,571 --> 00:21:30,716
Oh, I just wanted
to see the apartment.
557
00:21:30,740 --> 00:21:32,634
Hi, Murray. H-Hi, Gloria.
558
00:21:32,658 --> 00:21:35,509
You've seen the apartment
a thousand times, it's, uh...
559
00:21:35,578 --> 00:21:37,277
Felix, I know you're
from another planet,
560
00:21:37,346 --> 00:21:39,947
but here in North America,
you take a girl out on a date,
561
00:21:40,016 --> 00:21:41,059
you bring her home for a drink.
562
00:21:41,083 --> 00:21:43,751
May I have your wrap?
563
00:21:43,819 --> 00:21:45,485
Oscar is dating Gloria?
564
00:21:45,555 --> 00:21:46,795
Yes, does that surprise you?
565
00:21:47,873 --> 00:21:49,807
Felix, I am trained
566
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:52,435
not to be surprised.
567
00:21:55,181 --> 00:21:57,781
♪ Just call me Buttercup. ♪
568
00:21:59,619 --> 00:22:01,552
You want to sit down?
569
00:22:01,621 --> 00:22:03,086
Oh, fine.
570
00:22:03,156 --> 00:22:04,488
Excuse us, will you, Felix?
571
00:22:04,557 --> 00:22:05,489
Excuse us. Yeah.
572
00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:07,391
Thank you.
573
00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:11,228
Well, how was the evening?
574
00:22:11,297 --> 00:22:14,215
Don't you have a book you're
dying to finish or something?
575
00:22:14,283 --> 00:22:18,085
A book you're dying to finish,
you want to forgo already.
576
00:22:18,154 --> 00:22:19,231
Uh-huh.
577
00:22:20,790 --> 00:22:23,090
Well...
578
00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:27,811
Listen, uh...
579
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:30,864
this, this is your
apartment, so, uh...
580
00:22:30,933 --> 00:22:33,099
every bit as much as
mine, more so in fact.
581
00:22:33,168 --> 00:22:37,504
Technically, I'm still a guest
here, so whatever you, uh...
582
00:22:37,573 --> 00:22:38,739
Gloria, you're a free agent.
583
00:22:38,808 --> 00:22:39,840
Whatever you want.
584
00:22:39,909 --> 00:22:40,909
I'll be in my room.
585
00:22:40,943 --> 00:22:43,243
Don't, don't worry about me.
586
00:22:43,312 --> 00:22:44,678
Now, I just wanted you to know
587
00:22:44,747 --> 00:22:46,124
I'm, I'm not going
to make an excuse
588
00:22:46,148 --> 00:22:48,193
for I want coffee or come
back or anything like that.
589
00:22:48,217 --> 00:22:49,661
You're, you're
absolutely on your own,
590
00:22:49,685 --> 00:22:51,969
so... you're safe.
591
00:22:53,072 --> 00:22:55,705
It didn't work.
592
00:22:55,774 --> 00:22:57,803
Question of time. You want
to play some gin rummy?
593
00:22:57,827 --> 00:22:59,660
Yeah, I'd love to.
594
00:23:02,031 --> 00:23:06,934
♪ Smile though your
heart is breaking ♪
595
00:23:07,003 --> 00:23:08,936
♪ Smile... ♪
596
00:23:09,005 --> 00:23:10,070
He sounds happy.
597
00:23:10,139 --> 00:23:12,406
False bravado.
598
00:23:16,412 --> 00:23:19,479
Now we're rolling.
599
00:23:19,548 --> 00:23:21,849
Hey, does he still bang
his head up against the wall
600
00:23:21,918 --> 00:23:22,950
when he's upset?
601
00:23:26,889 --> 00:23:30,324
♪ Smile though
your heart is... ♪
602
00:23:30,392 --> 00:23:31,592
♪ Aching ♪
603
00:23:31,644 --> 00:23:32,959
♪ Smile though your... ♪
604
00:23:35,731 --> 00:23:37,798
♪ Smile... ♪
605
00:23:37,867 --> 00:23:38,799
Stop!
606
00:23:38,868 --> 00:23:39,800
What kind of people are you?
607
00:23:39,869 --> 00:23:41,012
My best friend and my wife
608
00:23:41,036 --> 00:23:42,352
playing gin rummy.
609
00:23:50,629 --> 00:23:53,897
I'm sorry, Felix.
610
00:23:53,966 --> 00:23:55,265
It was for your own good.
611
00:23:55,334 --> 00:23:57,401
Good night.
612
00:23:59,906 --> 00:24:01,839
I'll take you home.
613
00:24:01,908 --> 00:24:03,986
No, I'll have the
doorman get me a cab.
614
00:24:04,010 --> 00:24:05,020
Good night. Good night, Oscar.
615
00:24:05,044 --> 00:24:05,976
Thanks for a nice evening.
616
00:24:06,045 --> 00:24:07,925
You, too. Bye-bye.
617
00:24:13,135 --> 00:24:15,869
It only proves you're
a normal human being
618
00:24:15,938 --> 00:24:18,739
and you get jealous
like the rest of us.
619
00:24:18,808 --> 00:24:20,088
Good night, buddy.
620
00:24:22,311 --> 00:24:24,260
Oscar...
621
00:24:27,333 --> 00:24:28,749
you're well above average.
622
00:24:45,684 --> 00:24:47,935
What are you so tense about?
623
00:24:48,020 --> 00:24:50,420
Executron wouldn't
give me my money back.
624
00:24:50,490 --> 00:24:52,334
They said I had to fill
out another application
625
00:24:52,358 --> 00:24:53,274
and try again.
626
00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:54,369
Well, so you'll try again.
627
00:24:54,393 --> 00:24:55,437
You get another shot at it.
628
00:24:55,461 --> 00:24:56,393
At least this time you know
629
00:24:56,462 --> 00:24:57,394
you're not going to get Gloria.
630
00:24:57,463 --> 00:24:59,430
She's not Sarah Morgan anymore,
631
00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:01,578
and you're not using a silly
name like Andre LaPlume.
632
00:25:01,617 --> 00:25:03,695
Paging Monsieur
Willard Eisenhower.
633
00:25:03,719 --> 00:25:05,552
Here, that's me.
634
00:25:05,621 --> 00:25:07,253
I thought you were
Andre... What is it?
635
00:25:07,322 --> 00:25:08,900
There's a Miss Lena
Molinaro waiting.
636
00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:10,106
Oh, bring her here, will you?
637
00:25:10,159 --> 00:25:11,625
Lena Molinaro?
638
00:25:11,693 --> 00:25:15,061
Sounds... Like
South America, huh?
639
00:25:20,002 --> 00:25:22,135
You're Lena Molinaro?
640
00:25:22,221 --> 00:25:24,533
You're Willard Eisenhower?
641
00:25:24,557 --> 00:25:26,657
What happened
to the stockbroker?
642
00:25:26,725 --> 00:25:28,441
He was married.
643
00:25:28,510 --> 00:25:31,144
Slide in, slide in.
644
00:25:35,334 --> 00:25:38,501
♪ ♪
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