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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:36,604 [CHATTER] 4 00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:45,213 [LAUGHTER] 5 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:47,148 * 6 00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:21,749 DON'T FORGET THIS. 7 00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:24,485 THAT WAS A PRESENT FOR YOU. 8 00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,420 I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE HOLDING ON TO IT. 9 00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:28,822 WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH IT? 10 00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:30,558 THROW IT AWAY. 11 00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:33,294 FINE. 12 00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:58,786 * 13 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,538 WE WERE AN "IT" COUPLE. 14 00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:19,540 NOT REALLY. 15 00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:21,575 LIKE WHEN WE'D GO TO PARTIES AND THERE WAS DANCING, 16 00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:23,211 WE'D START DANCING AND EVERYONE WOULD 17 00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:25,746 MAKE A CIRCLE AROUND US AND WATCH US DANCE. 18 00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:28,148 OKAY. 19 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:31,519 OKAY, WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME 20 00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,687 WHAT YOU NEED, SHIRIN? 21 00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:36,190 I NEED MY GIRLFRIEND BACK. 22 00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:37,691 DUDE, I REALLY THINK 23 00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:41,362 YOU JUST NEED TO MOURN THIS AND MOVE ON. 24 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,364 I REALLY WANT TO EAT MY FEELINGS RIGHT NOW. 25 00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:45,633 YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK THAT'S AN AMAZING IDEA. 26 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:48,536 WHY DON'T WE ORDER ALL THE FATTY, DISGUSTING FOODS 27 00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:49,837 WE NEVER LET OURSELVES EAT? 28 00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:51,339 OKAY. 29 00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:52,940 HEY, GIRLS. HOW YOU DOIN' TODAY? 30 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,209 HEY. FANTASTIC. 31 00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:56,944 AND YOU? UH, WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 32 00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:58,512 BRENDAN. BRENDAN. 33 00:02:58,546 --> 00:02:59,847 HEY, I'M CRYSTAL. 34 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,682 HEY, CRYSTAL. WHAT CAN I GET YOU TODAY? 35 00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:02,850 UM, LET ME SEE. 36 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:05,519 I WOULD LOVE AN... 37 00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:07,588 UNSWEETENED GLASS OF ICED TEA. 38 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:08,989 NO PROBLEM. THANK YOU. 39 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,558 AND CAN I JUST HAVE ONE OF THOSE COMPLIMENTARY MINTS 40 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:12,693 I SAW BY THE ENTRANCE AND A GLASS OF ICE WATER 41 00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:15,263 AND A LITTLE BIT OF LEMON IN THERE. 42 00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:16,430 OKAY. 43 00:03:16,464 --> 00:03:19,633 THANK YOU SO MUCH. THANKS, BRENDAN. 44 00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:21,302 MMM, DELISH. 45 00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,804 MMM, CAN'T WAIT. 46 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,541 I'M DEAD INSIDE. 47 00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:29,377 CAN YOU TELL JUST BY LOOKING AT ME 48 00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:30,444 THAT I'M DEAD INSIDE? 49 00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:32,813 I REALLY THINK YOU HAD TO END IT. 50 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:35,816 I MEAN, SHE WASN'T EVEN FUCKING YOU TOWARDS THE END. 51 00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:37,485 MAYBE IT WAS A PHASE. 52 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,821 THANKS, BRENDAN. 53 00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:43,557 [WOMAN HUMMING] 54 00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:45,493 * GOT TO HOLD ON... 55 00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:47,595 HOW ABOUT "GIRAFFE"? 56 00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:49,297 WHAT ABOUT "SAFE WORD"? 57 00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,565 LIKE THE WORD "SAFE WORD" AS OUR SAFE WORD? 58 00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:53,334 LET'S CUT OUT THE MIDDLEMAN, 59 00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:55,035 'CAUSE WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU FORGET YOUR SAFE WORD? 60 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,037 OKAY, THEN, THE SAFE WORD IS "SAFE WORD." 61 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,872 GREAT. LET'S DO THIS. 62 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,341 WHAT'S THE SCENARIO? 63 00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:02,443 I'M YOUR TAX AUDITOR. 64 00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:05,913 OKAY. 65 00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:08,716 MISS? YES? 66 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:12,753 CAN YOU PLEASE FILL OUT THIS FORM? 67 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,588 ALL RIGHT. 68 00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,666 MISS? YES? 69 00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:28,302 I'VE BEEN A BAD SMALL-BUSINESS OWNER. 70 00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:29,770 WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM? 71 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,572 I DON'T HAVE ANY OF MY RECEIPTS 72 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,807 FROM JUNE UNTIL AUGUST, 73 00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:36,310 AND I'M GONNA HAVE TO BE PUNISHED. 74 00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:38,612 THAT'S ACTUALLY EASILY REMEDIED. 75 00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:41,048 IF YOU'LL JUST FILL IN THE LARGER EXPENSES IN SECTION C 76 00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,082 AND CROSS-CHECK THEM WITH SECTION B. 77 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,351 MAXINE. WHAT? 78 00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:45,419 YOU ARE KILLING THE SEXY. 79 00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:46,554 I'M JUST-- 80 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,956 [SIGHS] I'M NOT INTO ROLE PLAY. 81 00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,758 THAT'S-- THAT'S OKAY. 82 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,092 I'M VANILLA. 83 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,461 DON'T SAY THAT. 84 00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,829 IT TRUE. I'M NOT KINKY. 85 00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:57,465 HEY. 86 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:00,834 LOOK AT ME. 87 00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:04,037 I LIKE VANILLA. 88 00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:05,973 I'M NOT REALLY IN THE MOOD. 89 00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:07,475 I'M SORRY. 90 00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:10,444 IT'S OKAY. 91 00:05:26,494 --> 00:05:28,396 BANAL SEX SHOULDN'T START 92 00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:30,931 UNTIL AT LEAST A YEAR INTO A RELATIONSHIP. 93 00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:33,000 I MOVED IN TOO SOON. 94 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,068 WHEN ARE YOU GOING BACK TO WORK? 95 00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:36,537 I'M NOT. 96 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,105 NO! 97 00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:40,073 THE ONLY REASON THEY HIRED ME IN THE FIRST PLACE 98 00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:41,509 IS 'CAUSE THEY WANTED 99 00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:42,876 A MIDDLE EASTERN PERSON ON STAFF. 100 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,545 NOW THAT YAVAH'S IN EDITORIAL, 101 00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:46,414 EVERYONE'S GUSHING OVER HOW SYRIAN SHE IS. 102 00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:48,982 I'M NOT LETTING YOU FALL INTO A BOTTOMLESS PIT 103 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:52,553 OF DESPAIR AND UNEMPLOYMENT ON MY COUCH. 104 00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,054 NOTHING BRINGS ME JOY. 105 00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:57,157 WELL... I THINK THIS GUY I KNOW IS HIRING. 106 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,792 LET ME TALK TO HIM. 107 00:05:58,826 --> 00:05:59,927 AND ARE YOU GONNA GO LOOK 108 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,495 AT THAT APARTMENT IN BUSHWICK LATER? 109 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,096 I CAN'T. I HAVE TO GO SEE MY PARENTS. 110 00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:05,065 OH, MY GOD! CAN I COME? 111 00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:06,700 YOUR DAD IS SO HOT. 112 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,702 I JUST WANT TO, LIKE, PAINT HIM. 113 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,471 UGH, NO. 114 00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,806 THAT IS EXACTLY WHY YOU CANNOT COME. 115 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:15,476 SO, UH... 116 00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:17,878 [MAN] SO, IN THE AFTERNOON, I TOOK AN APPENDIX, 117 00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:20,448 AND I REWIRED IT ON THIS KID 118 00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:23,116 WHO HAD NO CONTROL OF HIS OWN URINE. 119 00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:24,485 STOP. WOW. 120 00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:25,853 NO, NO, NO, WE MADE HIM DRY. 121 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,187 BUT NOW HE HAS TO PEE OUT OF HIS BELLY BUTTON. 122 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,789 [SHIRIN] PLEASE STOP. 123 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,924 THIS IS FASCINATING. NOT WHILE WE'RE EATING. 124 00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:32,760 YEAH, IT CAN WAIT UNTIL AFTER, RIGHT? OKAY. 125 00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:33,827 DID YOU SEE ALI'S PICTURE 126 00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:35,596 OF THE SEX-REASSIGNMENT SURGERY? 127 00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:37,030 NO, I DIDN'T, 'CAUSE I DELETED IT THE MINUTE 128 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,967 I READ "INTESTINE VAGINA" IN THE SUBJECT. 129 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,502 THEY'RE INTERESTING PICTURES. YEAH, THEY ARE. 130 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:42,870 SHOW THEM. PLEASE DON'T DO THIS. 131 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,171 I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY 132 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:45,806 HE HAD TO GO INTO UROLOGY. 133 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:47,074 IT'S BECAUSE HE LOVES THE PENISES SO MUCH. 134 00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,542 [LAUGHTER] FUNNY, DAD. 135 00:06:48,576 --> 00:06:49,643 HERE YOU GO. CHECK IT OUT. UGH! 136 00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:51,178 OH, MY GOD. WHAT? 137 00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:52,513 TAKE A LOOK AT IT. YOU'RE NOT EVEN LOOKING AT IT. 138 00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:53,647 PLEASE PUT THAT AWAY. 139 00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:54,748 I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT. 140 00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:55,883 SHE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE IT. 141 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,951 PUT IT AWAY. OKAY, SUIT YOURSELF. 142 00:06:57,985 --> 00:07:00,521 LAYLI. YES? 143 00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:03,223 ALI SAYS THAT YOU JUST STARTED YOUR FELLOWSHIP. 144 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,958 THAT'S RIGHT. 145 00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:06,126 PLASTIC SURGERY. 146 00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:07,461 MM-HMM. 147 00:07:07,495 --> 00:07:09,863 ISN'T IT WEIRD, THOUGH? 148 00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:11,532 LIKE, HE'S DEALING 149 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,100 WITH LIFE-AND-DEATH SITUATIONS EVERY DAY, 150 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,969 AND THEN YOU'RE WITH THESE MIDDLE-AGED HOUSEWIVES 151 00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:19,039 WITH LOW SELF-ESTEEM. 152 00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:20,874 LAYLI IS A PEDIATRIC 153 00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:22,743 RECONSTRUCTIVE PLASTIC SURGEON. 154 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,712 I ACTUALLY-- UH, I SPECIALIZE 155 00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:26,914 IN BURN TREATMENT AND SKIN GRAFTING. 156 00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,183 COOL. 157 00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:33,120 I HEARD YOU ARE WORKING AT "THE BROOKLYN PAPER." 158 00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:34,588 YEAH. 159 00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:36,156 UM, I'M ACTUALLY THINKING 160 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,626 ABOUT TRANSITIONING INTO ANOTHER FIELD. 161 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:39,827 SO, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. 162 00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:41,929 YOU GOT A MASTERS IN JOURNALISM, 163 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,864 AND NOW YOU'RE GONNA DO JACK SHIT WITH IT? 164 00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:45,666 SHE CAN STILL USE HER DEGREE. 165 00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:46,734 SHE'S SO TALENTED. 166 00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:47,935 THANK YOU. 167 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,837 SHE WAS THE ONLY FRESHMAN IN HIGH SCHOOL 168 00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:51,872 WHO COULD SWIM ON THE VARSITY TEAM. 169 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:53,574 AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN TAKE LESSONS. 170 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:55,776 WOW, THAT'S A REAL RESUME BUILDER RIGHT THERE. 171 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,177 YEAH, THIS BODY'S MADE FOR SWIMMING. 172 00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,179 LOOK AT THESE SHOULDERS. THAT'S ENOUGH. 173 00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:01,281 THANK YOU. AND LOOK AT THOSE HANDS. 174 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,616 PLEASE STOP. AREN'T THEY STUNNING? 175 00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:04,084 THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL HANDS. 176 00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:06,654 YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD GET INTO HAND MODELING. AH. 177 00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,789 BUT I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW PEOPLE GET STARTED. IT'S WHO YOU KNOW. 178 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,024 A MASTERS IN JOURNALISM, THAT'S HOW YOU GET STARTED. 179 00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:13,561 I WOULD LITERALLY LIKE TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. 180 00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:15,829 OKAY, HOW'S YOUR LOVE LIFE? [ALI LAUGHS] 181 00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:16,930 ANY BOYS WE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT? 182 00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:18,899 NO. NO BOYS AT ALL. 183 00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:21,535 OH, THANK GOD I DON'T HAVE TO GET MY SHOTGUN READY THEN. 184 00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:24,037 [LAUGHTER] GOOD ONE, DAD. 185 00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:25,172 [ALI] OH, GOD. 186 00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:27,107 * 187 00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:34,848 KEN? 188 00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,216 HEY. GINNY. 189 00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:38,986 SHIRIN. SHIRIN. 190 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:41,188 WHAT IS THAT? LIBYAN? ARMENIAN? ARGENTINEAN? 191 00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:42,189 IRANIAN. 192 00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:43,991 OH, IRANIAN. 193 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,660 WOW. IRAN. 194 00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:47,995 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT WHOLE SITUATION? 195 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,331 IT'S A MIXED BAG. 196 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,667 A LOT OF VERY GOOD-INTENTIONED PEOPLE 197 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:55,769 DEALING WITH SOME DIFFICULT CIRCUMSTANCES. 198 00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:57,838 YOU GET OVER THERE VERY OFTEN? YEAH. 199 00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:00,007 ACTUALLY, I GO IN THE SUMMERS TO VISIT FAMILY. WOW. 200 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,208 OKAY, SO TELL ME, 201 00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:03,076 WHAT IS THE SCENE LIKE IN TEHRAN? 202 00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:04,678 I JUST READ THIS BIG ARTICLE 203 00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:06,614 ABOUT THE UNDERGROUND HIP-HOP SCENE IN "VICE." 204 00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:08,982 YEAH. SO, YOU'RE PART OF THAT? 205 00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:13,286 NO. UNFORTUNATELY, I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME IN IRAN 206 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,288 WATCHING DISNEY VIDEOS WITH MY GRANDMOTHER 207 00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,124 WHILE SHE UNTANGLES JEWELRY. 208 00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:21,895 YEAH, I GOT MYSELF SOME COFFEE. 209 00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:22,930 DO YOU WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK? 210 00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:23,964 NO, THANKS. 211 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:26,967 I AM BUZZED ON SKUNK RIGHT NOW. 212 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,135 NICE. 213 00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:30,704 SO, CRYSTAL TELLS ME YOU ARE AN ARTIST. 214 00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:32,305 YES. 215 00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:33,974 YEAH, I AM. 216 00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,142 YOU'RE A VIDEO ARTIST. 217 00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:36,944 MM-HMM. GREAT. 218 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:38,712 SO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT CRYSTAL HAS TOLD YOU, 219 00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:41,849 BUT I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEONE RELIABLE TO TAKE OVER 220 00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:44,284 AN AFTERSCHOOL FILMMAKING CLASS. 221 00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:47,688 IT'S WITH A BUNCH OF KIDS, AND THEY'RE REALLY GREAT 222 00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:50,357 AND SO SMART AND, UH, JUST CREATIVE. 223 00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,892 AND REALLY, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO 224 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,293 IS JUST SHOW THEM HOW TO HOLD A CAMERA. 225 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,062 I CAN DO THAT, YEAH. 226 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,864 SO, WHAT IS YOUR SCHEDULE LIKE? 227 00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:59,867 COMPLETELY OPEN. PERFECT. 228 00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:02,135 ALL RIGHT, WELL, MAY I SAY LET'S DO THIS? 229 00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:04,337 OKAY. GREAT. 230 00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:06,039 DON'T FUCK ME OVER. 231 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,741 OKAY. 232 00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:10,377 YOU TOLD HIM I WAS A FILMMAKER? 233 00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,145 YOU SAID YOU NEEDED A JOB. 234 00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:13,881 HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS GUY ANYWAY? 235 00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:16,016 HE'S THAT INVESTMENT BANKER IN MY PARENTS' BUILDING 236 00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,751 I USED TO HOOK UP WITH IN HIGH SCHOOL. 237 00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,419 OH, MY GOD. HE'S THAT GUY. MM-HMM. 238 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,790 YEAH, SO HE LOST HIS JOB, BECAME A STAY-AT-HOME DAD, 239 00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:24,157 AND GOT INTO LIGHT DRUGS. 240 00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:25,258 GOOD FOR HIM. 241 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,827 SO, DO YOU HAVE A LESSON PLAN? 242 00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,228 WHAT IS THIS, GERMANY? 243 00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:29,429 THEY'RE PARK SLOPE TEENS. 244 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,931 I COULD LOCK 'EM IN A ROOM 245 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,165 WITH A HALF-EATEN APPLE AND A TIC TAC 246 00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:33,366 AND COME BACK TO THE "MONA LISA." 247 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,868 WH-- WHY ARE WE STOPPING? 248 00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:36,103 OH, I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF SOMETHING. 249 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,437 YOU WAIT OUT HERE. NO, NO, NO, WAIT. 250 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,972 OH, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS. 251 00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:41,174 YOU SAID THAT NO AMOUNT OF WHOLESALE SPELT SUSHI 252 00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:43,811 WAS WORTH THE EMOTIONAL TOLL OF BEING HERE. 253 00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:45,378 SHE'S HERE ALL THE TIME. 254 00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:49,049 THEY DON'T EVEN OFFER PAPER BAGS. 255 00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:52,452 IT'S SURPRISING HOW, UH, LONELY IT GETS 256 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,454 WHEN YOU'RE SINGLE AGAIN, 257 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,989 ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU LIVE WITH SOMEONE. 258 00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:57,725 YOU GET SO USED TO THEIR HABITS 259 00:10:57,758 --> 00:10:59,259 AND THEIR LIFESTYLE AND THEIR SMELLS, 260 00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:01,795 BUT, UM, I REALLY JOINED THE CO-OP 261 00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:03,363 TO SPEND TIME WITH HER, 'CAUSE, LET'S BE HONEST, 262 00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:06,099 IT'S NOT THE MOST PLEASANT PLACE TO WORK IN THE WORLD. 263 00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:08,335 BUT IF I REALLY WANT MAXINE BACK IN MY LIFE, 264 00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:10,270 I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES, 265 00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:12,405 AND THAT MEANS GETTING BACK ONTO HER CO-OP SHIFT, 266 00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,875 AND THAT'S WHERE YOU COME IN. 267 00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:16,710 IT-- IT SAYS IN YOUR FILE 268 00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:19,046 THAT YOU HAVEN'T WORKED A SHIFT IN FOUR MONTHS. 269 00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:20,480 EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES. 270 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,449 I'VE HAD A VERY BROKEN HEART. 271 00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:26,153 LOOK, ALL MEMBERS ARE ENTITLED 272 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,188 TO ONE FREE PASS AFTER A DELINQUENCY, 273 00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:30,190 BUT I CANNOT GET YOU ONTO HER SHIFT. 274 00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:31,324 IT'S ALL BOOKED. 275 00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,229 I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T CATCH YOUR NAME. 276 00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:37,364 JACKIE. 277 00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:38,966 HI, JACKIE. 278 00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:40,834 UM... 279 00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:45,105 THE LAST TIME I CHECKED, THIS IS A COOPERATIVE. 280 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,440 WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD AND COOPERATE WITH ME, 281 00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:49,877 AND I'LL COOPERATE WITH YOU. 282 00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:55,315 BUT HOW DO YOU GET THEM SO CURLY? 283 00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:56,449 LET'S GO. 284 00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:58,786 IT WAS SO NICE MEETING YOU. 285 00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:01,989 * 286 00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:16,770 SHIRIN TOLD ME YOU'RE AN ARTIST. 287 00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:18,471 LANDSCAPING OR PORTRAITS? 288 00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:21,074 I SPECIALIZE IN EXPERIMENTAL INSTALLATIONS, 289 00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:23,443 AND JACQUES IS CURRENTLY FOCUSING ON SANDCASTLE WORK 290 00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:26,013 INTEGRATING FOUND OBJECTS. 291 00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,547 [SHIRIN] WE'RE DONE WITH THE BOXES. 292 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:28,949 I'M COMING. 293 00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:30,483 IT WAS SO NICE MEETING YOU. 294 00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:33,987 THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER. 295 00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:39,793 HEY, YOU GUYS CAN GO. 296 00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:41,028 I FEEL LIKE I'M 17 297 00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:42,262 AND YOU'RE MOVING ME BACK INTO COLLEGE. 298 00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:45,198 I WISH. THAT DORM WAS MUCH NICER. 299 00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:46,433 THIS IS WHAT IT IS TO FIND A PLACE 300 00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,368 ON SHORT NOTICE IN BROOKLYN. 301 00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:50,337 AT LEAST YOU HAVE A SEXY ROOMMATE. 302 00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:53,273 FELICIA? I FIND HER A BIT TERRIFYING. 303 00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:56,243 NO, I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BOY-- JACQUES. 304 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,478 YOUR NEW ROOMMATES ARE FREAKS. 305 00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:00,413 HEY, IS THIS HOW YOU SAY HELLO? 306 00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:01,949 HI. 307 00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:03,383 CAN WE TELL HER? 308 00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:04,551 TELL ME WHAT? 309 00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:06,419 I'M PROPOSING TO LAYLI. 310 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:07,454 WHY? 311 00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:09,089 HEY. SHIRIN. 312 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,390 I'M NOT SAYING YOU SHOULDN'T DO IT. 313 00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:12,192 IT'S JUST... 314 00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:14,194 HE'S VERY YOUNG. HE'S 33. 315 00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:16,096 I WAS ONLY 19 WHEN I MARRIED YOUR FATHER. 316 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,899 WELL, THIS ISN'T THE ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN, MOM. 317 00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:20,267 DO YOU SEE A HIJAB ON MY HEAD? 318 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,869 WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? NOTHING. 319 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,370 YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A BRAT. STOP IT. 320 00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:24,404 YOU'RE BRINGING A LOT OF NEGATIVE ENERGY 321 00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:25,839 INTO MY NEW HOME. 322 00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:27,274 [CHUCKLES] OH, THIS IS NOT A HOME. 323 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,408 THIS IS A REFUGEE CAMP. 324 00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:30,210 SERIOUSLY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 325 00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:31,912 YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A COOL BROOKLYN LOFT LOOKS LIKE. 326 00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:33,080 I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND 327 00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:34,447 WHY YOU LEFT YOUR OLD APARTMENT. 328 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:37,017 THE NEIGHBORHOOD WAS SO MUCH BETTER. 329 00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,852 IT GOT TOO EXPENSIVE. 330 00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:40,253 WE WOULD HAVE HELPED YOU. 331 00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:42,189 THIS IS MY NEW HOME, AND I LOVE IT. 332 00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:43,356 OKAY. 333 00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:45,625 ALI, COME. HELP ME IN THE KITCHEN. 334 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,594 OKAY, BUT I'M NOT TOUCHING ANYTHING. 335 00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:50,063 I'M SURE THE GIRL WHO LET ME IN HAS HEP C. 336 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,236 DAD? YEAH? 337 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,306 I'M WORRIED ABOUT ALI. 338 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:00,607 I THINK HE'S JUMPING INTO MARRIAGE 339 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,542 BECAUSE HE THINKS HE HAS TO. 340 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,077 [SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 341 00:14:04,111 --> 00:14:06,046 HE'S GOT CLASSIC OLDER CHILD SYNDROME. 342 00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,115 HE'LL DO ANYTHING TO MAKE YOU AND MOM HAPPY. 343 00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,183 [ALI] SHE HAS NO GOALS OR ASPIRATIONS. 344 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:11,551 SHE TAKES NOTHING SERIOUSLY. 345 00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:12,652 SHE'S BECOMING A LOSER. 346 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,187 LOWER YOUR VOICE. 347 00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:16,323 SHE HAS THIS, LIKE, YOUNGER CHILD THING. 348 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,158 I'M TELLING YOU, YOU NEED TO BE ON TOP OF THAT. 349 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,293 YOU DON'T THINK I'M DOING MY BEST? 350 00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:21,428 SHE'S NOT EASY. 351 00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,330 HE'S, LIKE, BURYING HIS EMOTIONS 352 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,531 DEEP BENEATH THE SURFACE, 353 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:26,466 AND, LIKE, ONE DAY, HE COULD PULL A GUN 354 00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:28,001 ON HIS COWORKERS. 355 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:29,202 I THINK SHE HAS SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES. 356 00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:30,570 YEAH, NO KIDDING. 357 00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:32,505 WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND? 358 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,107 THAT VIRGINIA TECH KID 359 00:14:34,141 --> 00:14:37,277 WAS JUST TRYING TO PLEASE HIS STRICT KOREAN PARENTS. 360 00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,146 IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S DUMB OR SUPER UNATTRACTIVE. 361 00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:40,613 I MEAN, SHE'S PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF BEING NORMAL. 362 00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:42,349 I DON'T WANT HIM TO FIND HIMSELF, 363 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,616 LIKE, TEN YEARS FROM NOW, 364 00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:46,086 FAT, BALD, AND IN A LOVELESS MARRIAGE 365 00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:47,287 BECAUSE HE WAS RUSHING TO BECOME 366 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,256 THE WORLD'S BEST IRANIAN SON. 367 00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:52,092 THE MEN IN OUR FAMILY DON'T GO BALD. 368 00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,493 * 369 00:14:53,526 --> 00:14:55,963 * SHE'S PLAYING HER GAME... 370 00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:59,599 OH, I DON'T NEED NEW READING MATERIAL. 371 00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:01,234 I'M ONLY UP TO BOOK TWO OF THE "TWILIGHT" SERIES. 372 00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:03,603 I'M BROADENING YOUR HORIZONS. 373 00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:07,975 THIS IS SOME PRETTY SERIOUS STUFF HERE. 374 00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:09,409 I'M ASKING YOU TO READ SOME BOOKS. 375 00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:11,711 YOU DON'T NEED TO GET YOUR SEPTUM PIERCED. 376 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,313 YET. 377 00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,582 [CHUCKLES] 378 00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:26,526 [WOMAN SIGHS] 379 00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:28,228 OH, HEY. 380 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,396 UM, EXCUSE ME, 381 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,730 THIS IS ACTUALLY THE BROOKLYN KIDS 382 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,065 MOVIE MAKER CLASS. 383 00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:33,266 I THINK YOU HAVE THE WRONG ROOM. 384 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:34,267 NO, THIS RIGHT. 385 00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:37,137 I'M A MOVIE DIRECTOR. 386 00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,006 SEE YOU AT FIVE. 387 00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:48,015 [CHILDREN CHATTERING] 388 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,486 AND I'M GONNA POOP. 389 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,522 [GIRL] NO! DON'T! 390 00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,457 [LAUGHS] 391 00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:58,625 KUJO, COULD YOU PLEASE HOLD-- 392 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,160 PUT DOWN THE TRUCK AND HOLD THE CAMERA. 393 00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:01,261 STOP THROWING. 394 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,563 [TOYS BANGING, LOUD CHATTER] 395 00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:05,765 I DON'T THINK YOU CAN FIT IT ALL. 396 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:09,269 HEY, KUJO, THE LENS IS WAY TOO CLOSE TO YOUR BUTT. 397 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,571 [TOYS BANGING, CHATTER] 398 00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,500 [TYPING] 399 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,311 OH, YOU'RE ON OkCupid. 400 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,613 MY TAXIDERMIST MET HER HUSBAND ON THAT SITE. 401 00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:57,617 I'M JUST LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO MAKE MY GIRLFRIEND JEALOUS. 402 00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,086 WE'RE ON A BREAK. 403 00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:00,153 GOOD LUCK. 404 00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:02,155 FELICIA? 405 00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:03,490 YES? 406 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:04,824 YOU'RE IN A LONG-TERM, 407 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,659 SEEMINGLY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. 408 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:10,497 CAN YOU TELL ME, HOW DO PEOPLE MEET, 409 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,499 AGREE THEY LIKE EACH OTHER, 410 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:16,069 AND THEN... KEEP ON LIKING EACH OTHER? 411 00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:18,305 SHARED INTERESTS? 412 00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:20,440 JACQUES AND I MET AT OCCUPY CHELSEA. 413 00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:24,077 I'M GONNA LIE HERE AND TRY TO FORGET 414 00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:26,513 WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO BE LOVED. 415 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,115 COULD YOU PLEASE TURN OFF THE LIGHT? 416 00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,651 FEEL BETTER. THANK YOU. 417 00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:41,060 * 418 00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:49,569 [CIGARETTE LIGHTER FLICKS] 419 00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:59,679 [MUFFLED POP MUSIC PLAYING] 420 00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,614 [DISTANT LAUGHTER] 421 00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,353 [MUFFLED CHATTER] 422 00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:17,464 HEY. HI. 423 00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:20,700 YOU WANT A CIGARETTE? I DON'T SMOKE. 424 00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,169 YEAH, ME NEITHER. 425 00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:25,438 WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE? 426 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:27,674 [SIGHS] SOCIAL ANXIETY. 427 00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,842 WHAT ABOUT YOU? 428 00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:32,445 MORE OR LESS THE SAME. [CHUCKLES] 429 00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,314 I'M SHIRIN. 430 00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:35,582 MAXINE. 431 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,720 IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. 432 00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:42,722 I LOVE DYKES. 433 00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:44,557 NICE. 434 00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:45,925 I MEAN IT. 435 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:49,329 YOU KNOW THAT-- THAT WORD IS INCREDIBLY OFFENSIVE. 436 00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:51,398 OH, I'M BISEXUAL, SO IT'S OKAY IF I SAY IT. 437 00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:53,166 NO, IT'S STILL OFFENSIVE. [CHUCKLES] 438 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:55,735 YOU KNOW HOW I MEANT IT. 439 00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:58,205 DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU MEANT IT. 440 00:18:58,238 --> 00:18:59,672 TOMATO, TO-MAH-TO. 441 00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:02,742 WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING? 442 00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:05,378 I FILLED THIS WATER BOTTLE WITH TEQUILA. 443 00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:06,746 CLASSY. 444 00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:08,815 I'M DRINKING WITH A PURPOSE. 445 00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:10,417 YEAH? 446 00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,252 [SIGHS] THIS GUY WITH WHOM I RECENTLY 447 00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:15,788 HAD AN UNFORTUNATE SEXUAL ENCOUNTER SHOWED UP, 448 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:18,491 AND NOW I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE. 449 00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:20,227 I JUST HATE THE WAY DUDES GET 450 00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:21,828 WHEN THEY CAN'T MAINTAIN AN ERECTION. 451 00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:23,563 WHAT DO THEY GET LIKE? 452 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:24,897 OH, ARE YOU A GOLD STAR? 453 00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:26,566 NO, I'VE HAD SEX WITH MEN, 454 00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:30,237 JUST, UM, NOT THE KIND WHO GO SOFT. 455 00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:32,239 TOUCHÉ. 456 00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:33,573 IT'S THE WORST. 457 00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:34,807 THEY SHUT DOWN, 458 00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,443 AND THEY GET ALL MOPEY AND OFFENDED 459 00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:37,844 WHEN YOU MAKE JOKES. 460 00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:39,379 YEAH, IT'S SO WEIRD THE WAY MEN DON'T ENJOY 461 00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:41,848 HUMOR AT THE EXPENSE OF THEIR PENISES. 462 00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:44,251 DO YOU WANT SOME? 463 00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:45,552 SURE. 464 00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:51,591 I THINK YOU'RE HOT. 465 00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:52,992 THANKS. 466 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:55,228 I KNOW THAT I DON'T LOOK LIKE I'M INTO GIRLS 467 00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:57,797 AND THAT I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT BEING A BONER KILLER, 468 00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:01,768 BUT I AM SUPER SEXY AND SUPER INTO GIRLS. 469 00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:02,769 REALLY? 470 00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:03,803 YEAH. 471 00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:05,472 I LIKE GIRLS LIKE YOU. 472 00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:06,539 LIKE ME? 473 00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:07,940 YOU KNOW, LIKE, MANLY, 474 00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,942 BUT ALSO A LITTLE BIT LIKE A LADY. 475 00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:12,545 NICE. THANK YOU. 476 00:20:12,579 --> 00:20:14,614 UM... [CHUCKLES] [CHUCKLES] 477 00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:17,484 ARE YOU HAVING LADY PROBLEMS? 478 00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:19,686 WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'M HAVING LADY PROBLEMS? 479 00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,354 BECAUSE IT'S NEW YEAR'S EVE 480 00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:23,423 AND YOU'RE HEADING OUT BEFORE THE COUNTDOWN. 481 00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:24,791 MAYBE I'M HEADING OUT 482 00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:26,693 TO MEET THE PERSON I'M GONNA KISS AT MIDNIGHT. 483 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,328 YOU'RE GONNA BE HELLA LATE 484 00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:30,463 'CAUSE IT'S LIKE, TWO MINUTES AWAY. 485 00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:34,734 WHAT'S HER NAME? LINDA. 486 00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:37,470 SHE SOUNDS LIKE A CUNT. 487 00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:38,638 WE'RE GOING OUT FOR A COUPLE MONTHS, 488 00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:39,772 AND WE DECIDED TO MOVE IN TOGETHER. 489 00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:41,007 NATURALLY. 490 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,310 AND FOUR DAYS AFTER I BREAK MY LEASE 491 00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:44,744 AND SELL EVERYTHING I OWN, 492 00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:45,912 SHE TELLS ME SHE MISSES HER EX, 493 00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:47,280 AND WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO 494 00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:48,348 WITH THAT INFORMATION? 495 00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:49,916 THAT SUCKS. 496 00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:52,519 JUST HAVING TROUBLE DEALING WITH, LIKE, BROOKLYN PARTIES 497 00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:55,788 AND EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT THEIR KICKSTARTER CAMPAIGNS, 498 00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:58,591 AND DID YOU SEE THAT GUY WITH THE WAXED DALI MUSTACHE? 499 00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:00,327 I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT GUY'S PROBLEM? 500 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,795 WHO THE FUCK DOES HE THINK HE IS? 501 00:21:02,829 --> 00:21:06,666 I FIND YOUR ANGER INCREDIBLY SEXY. 502 00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:08,801 REALLY? 503 00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:11,504 I HATE SO MANY THINGS TOO. 504 00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:36,563 WOW. 505 00:21:36,596 --> 00:21:37,697 KEN. HI. 506 00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:39,599 OH! HEY, HI. HOW ARE YOU? 507 00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:40,733 I'M GOOD, THANK YOU. 508 00:21:40,767 --> 00:21:42,902 CARRINGTON, THIS IS SHAYLA. 509 00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:44,070 I'M SHIRIN. HI. 510 00:21:44,103 --> 00:21:45,405 OH... 511 00:21:45,438 --> 00:21:46,439 SORRY, MAN. I'M STONED. 512 00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:47,707 OH, THAT'S OKAY. 513 00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:50,577 WANT A J? NO, I'M COOL. THANKS. 514 00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:52,912 LISTEN, UM... 515 00:21:52,945 --> 00:21:54,447 I'M A TERRIBLE TEACHER. 516 00:21:54,481 --> 00:21:56,015 NO. 517 00:21:56,048 --> 00:21:57,950 YES, I AM. 518 00:21:57,984 --> 00:21:59,752 UH, THE KIDS HATE ME. 519 00:21:59,786 --> 00:22:00,953 THEY'RE A GOOD TEN YEARS YOUNGER 520 00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:02,054 THAN I THOUGHT THEY'D BE, 521 00:22:02,088 --> 00:22:03,590 AND I CAN'T GET THEM TO LISTEN. 522 00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:04,957 YOU CAN'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY, DUDE. 523 00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:06,092 THEY'RE FIVE. 524 00:22:06,125 --> 00:22:08,027 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. 525 00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:09,629 I HAVE THREE KIDS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. 526 00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:11,864 IT'S JUST FAKE IT 'TIL YOU MAKE IT. 527 00:22:11,898 --> 00:22:14,701 I'VE LOST CARRINGTON, LIKE, WHAT, FOUR TIMES? 528 00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:15,835 RIGHT, BRO? 529 00:22:18,571 --> 00:22:21,608 JUST DO YOUR BEST, OKAY? 530 00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:22,975 OKAY. 531 00:22:24,511 --> 00:22:26,413 HEY. 532 00:22:26,446 --> 00:22:29,416 I BELIEVE IN YOU, CHER. 533 00:22:29,449 --> 00:22:30,883 THANK YOU. 534 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:38,525 [MAXINE] THEY HAVE NO IDEA YOU'RE BISEXUAL? 535 00:22:38,558 --> 00:22:41,160 [SHIRIN] I'M SORRY, WHAT COUNTRY IS IT THAT YOU GET STONED TO DEATH 536 00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:42,962 IF YOU'RE CONVICTED OF BEING GAY? 537 00:22:42,995 --> 00:22:44,497 OH, YEAH. WAIT, I KNOW. 538 00:22:44,531 --> 00:22:45,998 IT'S IRAN, 539 00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:48,100 THE COUNTRY THAT MY ENTIRE FAMILY COMES FROM. 540 00:22:48,134 --> 00:22:49,936 YOU CAN'T KEEP PLAYING THE PERSIAN CARD 541 00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:51,571 EVERY TIME WE HAVE AN ARGUMENT. 542 00:22:51,604 --> 00:22:53,072 YOU NEED TO SEE FOR YOURSELF 543 00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:54,974 HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO BE THE CHILD OF IMMIGRANTS. 544 00:22:55,007 --> 00:22:56,909 I WOULD LOVE TO. GREAT. 545 00:22:56,943 --> 00:22:58,645 THEN YOU'RE COMING TO A PERSIAN NEW YEAR PARTY 546 00:22:58,678 --> 00:23:00,913 THIS WEEKEND IN NEW JERSEY. 547 00:23:00,947 --> 00:23:03,516 AM I COMING AS YOUR DATE? GOD, NO. 548 00:23:03,550 --> 00:23:05,452 YOU'RE DEFINITELY COMING AS MY WHITE FRIEND. 549 00:23:05,485 --> 00:23:06,953 DO YOU THINK I HAVE A DEATH WISH? 550 00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:10,423 YOU KNOW YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO WEAR A DRESS. 551 00:23:10,457 --> 00:23:11,458 NO. 552 00:23:11,491 --> 00:23:12,792 * 553 00:23:12,825 --> 00:23:15,094 [CHATTER] 554 00:23:17,764 --> 00:23:20,433 GOOD. NOW YOU'RE GONNA SEND 'EM? YES. 555 00:23:20,467 --> 00:23:21,968 [INAUDIBLE] 556 00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:26,773 [MAXINE] IT'S LIKE WE JUST STEPPED INTO LIBERACE'S WET DREAM. 557 00:23:26,806 --> 00:23:28,908 ISN'T IT SPECTACULAR? 558 00:23:28,941 --> 00:23:30,710 YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE BEING IN ENCLOSED SPACES 559 00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:32,745 WHERE I CAN'T DETECT ANY VISIBLY GAY PEOPLE. 560 00:23:32,779 --> 00:23:34,146 WELL, I'M PRETTY SURE UNCLE NEEMA'S HARBORING 561 00:23:34,180 --> 00:23:36,949 SOME BI-CURIOUS TENDENCIES. 562 00:23:36,983 --> 00:23:39,118 YOU TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT? OH, GOD, NO. 563 00:23:39,151 --> 00:23:40,953 PERSIANS COMMUNICATE MOSTLY THROUGH GOSSIP. 564 00:23:40,987 --> 00:23:42,955 [WOMAN] SHIRIN? 565 00:23:42,989 --> 00:23:44,123 OH, MY GOD! HI! 566 00:23:44,156 --> 00:23:46,726 HI! HI! 567 00:23:54,534 --> 00:23:57,604 MAXINE, THIS IS MITRA, YASSI, MEENU, AND YASSI. 568 00:23:57,637 --> 00:23:59,105 GUYS, THIS IS MY FRIEND MAXINE. 569 00:23:59,138 --> 00:24:00,707 HEY. 570 00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:03,610 HEY. OH, MY GOD, YOU LOOK AMAZING. 571 00:24:03,643 --> 00:24:06,212 RIGHT. NEXT TO YOU, I LOOK LIKE A BUSBOY FROM CHILI'S. 572 00:24:06,245 --> 00:24:09,248 OH, NO WAY. YOU'RE PRACTICALLY A MODEL. 573 00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:10,583 YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. 574 00:24:10,617 --> 00:24:11,951 LIKE A "BEFORE" MODEL FOR ACCUTANE. 575 00:24:11,984 --> 00:24:14,153 UH, I WOULD KILL FOR YOUR HEIGHT. 576 00:24:14,186 --> 00:24:16,789 AND I WOULD SELL MY FIRSTBORN FOR YOUR SKIN. 577 00:24:16,823 --> 00:24:18,525 STOP IT. 578 00:24:18,558 --> 00:24:20,493 YOU STOP IT. [LAUGHS] 579 00:24:20,527 --> 00:24:22,495 WE NEED TO GET TOGETHER MORE. 580 00:24:22,529 --> 00:24:24,531 I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL. 581 00:24:24,564 --> 00:24:25,598 HOW'S YOUR FATHER? 582 00:24:25,632 --> 00:24:26,933 YOU KNOW, HE'S OKAY, 583 00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:28,968 BUT THEN SOMETIMES HE'LL CRY OUT OF NOWHERE, 584 00:24:29,001 --> 00:24:30,870 AND I'LL BE LIKE, "DAD, WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU? 585 00:24:30,903 --> 00:24:32,138 YOU'RE EMASCULATING YOURSELF." 586 00:24:32,171 --> 00:24:33,973 OH, MY GOD! ROYA? [WOMEN SHRIEKING] 587 00:24:38,678 --> 00:24:39,912 WHAT JUST HAPPENED? 588 00:24:39,946 --> 00:24:41,080 YOU WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE. 589 00:24:41,113 --> 00:24:42,148 YEAH, EVERY TIME I SEE HER, 590 00:24:42,181 --> 00:24:43,916 SHE COMPLIMENTS THE WAY I LOOK, 591 00:24:43,950 --> 00:24:45,718 SHE ASKS ONE PERSONAL QUESTION, 592 00:24:45,752 --> 00:24:48,020 AND THEN SHE WALKS AWAY WHILE I ANSWER. 593 00:24:48,054 --> 00:24:50,189 AND WHO'S SHE TALKING TO NOW? THAT'S ROYA. 594 00:24:50,222 --> 00:24:53,893 HER FATHER JUST MADE A LOT OF MONEY IMPORTING SAMOVARS. 595 00:24:53,926 --> 00:24:55,094 LET'S GET A DRINK. 596 00:24:55,127 --> 00:24:56,563 WHEN ARE THEY SERVING DINNER? 597 00:24:56,596 --> 00:24:57,964 MIDNIGHT. 598 00:24:57,997 --> 00:24:59,098 SERIOUSLY? 599 00:24:59,131 --> 00:25:00,600 GOD, YOU KNOW, I SHOULD HAVE TALKED 600 00:25:00,633 --> 00:25:02,769 ABOUT HER DAD'S COSMETIC DENTAL PRACTICE. 601 00:25:02,802 --> 00:25:04,236 YOU WERE BEING HONEST. 602 00:25:04,270 --> 00:25:06,739 DO YOU THINK THEY WANT YOU TO BE HONEST AT THESE THINGS? 603 00:25:06,773 --> 00:25:08,641 OH, GET A GRIP. YOU'RE A GROWN WOMAN. 604 00:25:08,675 --> 00:25:10,843 YOU'VE BEEN TO HOW MANY PARTIES IN YOUR LIFE? 605 00:25:10,877 --> 00:25:12,144 I DON'T KNOW. A LOT. 606 00:25:12,178 --> 00:25:13,212 AND WHAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT PART 607 00:25:13,245 --> 00:25:15,314 OF HAVING A GOOD TIME AT A PARTY? 608 00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:17,049 DRINKING. AND? 609 00:25:17,083 --> 00:25:18,585 DANCING. 610 00:25:18,618 --> 00:25:20,653 AND WHO'S VERY GOOD AT BOTH OF THOSE THINGS? 611 00:25:20,687 --> 00:25:23,189 I AM. [CHUCKLES] THAT'S RIGHT. 612 00:25:23,222 --> 00:25:26,025 TWO VODKA TONICS, PLEASE. 613 00:25:26,058 --> 00:25:29,095 * 614 00:26:00,927 --> 00:26:02,294 [LAUGHS] 615 00:26:13,873 --> 00:26:15,307 [LAUGHS] 616 00:26:15,341 --> 00:26:16,943 [SHIRIN] THAT WAS AMAZING. 617 00:26:16,976 --> 00:26:18,645 I'VE NEVER HAD SO MUCH FUN AROUND PERSIANS BEFORE. 618 00:26:18,678 --> 00:26:20,112 I'M SORRY, I KNOW YOU'RE HAVING A BREAKTHROUGH, 619 00:26:20,146 --> 00:26:21,781 BUT CAN YOU FIRST EXPLAIN TO ME THIS FIRE THING? 620 00:26:21,814 --> 00:26:22,882 [CHUCKLES] YEAH. 621 00:26:22,915 --> 00:26:24,751 SO, THE WEDNESDAY BEFORE NORUZ, 622 00:26:24,784 --> 00:26:25,952 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO JUMP OVER FIRE 623 00:26:25,985 --> 00:26:28,788 TO EXORCISE YOURSELF OF EVIL SPIRITS 624 00:26:28,821 --> 00:26:30,289 AND START THE NEW YEAR FRESH. 625 00:26:30,322 --> 00:26:32,191 ONLY WE'RE DOING IT NOW 'CAUSE EVERYONE HAD WORK 626 00:26:32,224 --> 00:26:33,926 AND WE'RE HALF-ASSED IRANIANS. 627 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,929 GOD, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL GESTURE. 628 00:26:36,963 --> 00:26:38,297 UGH, YOU ARE TOTALLY HAVING 629 00:26:38,330 --> 00:26:40,366 ONE OF THOSE "I'M DATING AN IMMIGRANT" MOMENTS. 630 00:26:40,399 --> 00:26:42,234 LIKE, "ISN'T LEARNING ABOUT OTHER CULTURES 631 00:26:42,268 --> 00:26:44,303 SO FUN AND ENRICHING? I FEEL LIKE I'M--" 632 00:26:44,336 --> 00:26:45,972 [SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 633 00:26:46,005 --> 00:26:48,274 HI. HI. 634 00:26:48,307 --> 00:26:50,042 SO, THIS IS WHERE YOU'VE BEEN? 635 00:26:50,076 --> 00:26:51,210 YEAH. 636 00:26:51,243 --> 00:26:53,212 WE JUST CAME OUT HERE. WHERE WERE YOU? 637 00:26:53,245 --> 00:26:55,014 [SCOFFS] YOUR FATHER GOT LOST. 638 00:26:55,047 --> 00:26:56,683 I TOOK THE SCENIC ROUTE. 639 00:26:56,716 --> 00:26:58,785 THAT'S NOT FUNNY. 640 00:26:58,818 --> 00:27:00,352 THIS IS MAXINE, MY FRIEND. 641 00:27:00,386 --> 00:27:02,722 MAXINE, MEET MY PARENTS. HI. 642 00:27:02,755 --> 00:27:04,657 HI, MAXINE. OH. 643 00:27:04,691 --> 00:27:06,759 [KISSING] 644 00:27:06,793 --> 00:27:08,795 HI. 645 00:27:08,828 --> 00:27:10,229 SO, HOW DO YOU LIKE NORUZ? 646 00:27:10,262 --> 00:27:12,098 I'M SO SORRY. I THINK I LEFT MY PURSE INSIDE. 647 00:27:12,131 --> 00:27:13,199 I GOT TO GO RUN AND GET IT. 648 00:27:13,232 --> 00:27:14,967 I WILL SEE YOU REALLY SOON. 649 00:27:15,001 --> 00:27:16,903 NICE TO MEET YOU BOTH. [CHUCKLE]S 650 00:27:16,936 --> 00:27:19,038 NICE TO MEET YOU. NICE TO MEET YOU. 651 00:27:19,071 --> 00:27:20,873 * 652 00:27:50,803 --> 00:27:51,904 [TYPING] 653 00:28:21,267 --> 00:28:24,203 [TYPING] 654 00:28:29,341 --> 00:28:32,444 IT SAYS ON YOUR PROFILE THAT YOU'RE AN ARTIST. 655 00:28:32,478 --> 00:28:35,181 YEAH, I DO A STAND-UP/FOLK MUSIC HYBRID ACT. 656 00:28:37,416 --> 00:28:39,185 I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THAT. 657 00:28:39,218 --> 00:28:42,188 YEAH, MY ART DEFIES LABELS. 658 00:28:42,221 --> 00:28:43,389 SOUNDS LIKE IT. 659 00:28:43,422 --> 00:28:44,824 WHY DOES COMEDY ALWAYS HAVE TO 660 00:28:44,857 --> 00:28:46,425 BE SO MEAN AND AT SOMEBODY'S EXPENSE? 661 00:28:46,458 --> 00:28:47,894 I WANT TO USE MY COMEDY 662 00:28:47,927 --> 00:28:49,829 TO BRING ATTENTION TO SOCIAL-JUSTICE ISSUES. 663 00:28:53,900 --> 00:28:55,034 YOU'RE VERY PRETTY. 664 00:28:56,435 --> 00:28:57,736 THANK YOU. 665 00:28:59,906 --> 00:29:02,374 WHY DON'T YOU GET TO WORK ON THAT DRINK? 666 00:29:08,414 --> 00:29:09,882 [CHUCKLES] 667 00:29:25,331 --> 00:29:26,899 CAN I GET A GLASS OF WATER? 668 00:29:26,933 --> 00:29:28,100 COME HERE. 669 00:29:31,938 --> 00:29:33,305 CLOSER. 670 00:29:38,610 --> 00:29:41,848 YOU HAVE REALLY NICE HAIR. 671 00:29:41,881 --> 00:29:42,982 THANKS. 672 00:29:56,228 --> 00:29:58,064 YOU CAN BE ROUGH WITH ME. 673 00:30:21,921 --> 00:30:23,822 TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO. 674 00:30:25,992 --> 00:30:27,259 LIE ON THE BED. 675 00:30:27,293 --> 00:30:28,827 OKAY. 676 00:30:55,621 --> 00:30:58,257 [GRUNTS] 677 00:30:58,290 --> 00:31:00,192 * 678 00:31:07,699 --> 00:31:10,602 [WOMAN SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 679 00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:28,254 [SOFT MOANING, TELEPHONE RINGING] 680 00:31:28,287 --> 00:31:31,157 FUCK! [GROANS] COULD YOU PUT THESE ON? 681 00:31:31,190 --> 00:31:33,159 WHAT? YOU'RE-- YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTED WEED. 682 00:31:33,192 --> 00:31:34,560 WELL, I REEK OF SEX. 683 00:31:34,593 --> 00:31:36,395 IT'S GONNA TRIGGER THE DRUG DEALER'S BRAIN 684 00:31:36,428 --> 00:31:38,497 TO CALL IN HIS RAPIST BRAIN. 685 00:31:38,530 --> 00:31:40,566 YOU'RE LUCKY I VEER MACHO. 686 00:31:42,401 --> 00:31:44,103 THANK YOU. 687 00:31:46,272 --> 00:31:47,506 [SOFT GROAN] 688 00:32:25,677 --> 00:32:28,647 [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] 689 00:32:32,218 --> 00:32:33,352 YOU'RE AMAZING. 690 00:32:39,425 --> 00:32:40,959 [HUMS] 691 00:32:47,766 --> 00:32:49,668 LADIES FIRST. 692 00:33:05,117 --> 00:33:07,319 I'M NOT SO GOOD AT SMOKING WEED AROUND PEOPLE. 693 00:33:11,357 --> 00:33:13,392 CAN'T HOLD MY THOUGHTS STILL LONG ENOUGH TO THINK THEM. 694 00:33:13,425 --> 00:33:15,361 I HAVE TO CHASE THEM. 695 00:33:15,394 --> 00:33:16,728 I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. 696 00:33:16,762 --> 00:33:18,464 THE OTHER DAY, I HAD A REALLY GOOD IDEA 697 00:33:18,497 --> 00:33:21,233 FOR A CHILDREN'S BOOK WHILE I WAS SMOKING WEED, 698 00:33:21,267 --> 00:33:23,402 AND NOW I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT WAS. 699 00:33:23,435 --> 00:33:25,471 KEEP SMOKING. YOU'LL GET IT BACK. 700 00:33:30,376 --> 00:33:32,144 HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THAT EPISODE OF "SEX AND THE CITY" 701 00:33:32,178 --> 00:33:34,746 WHERE CARRIE HAS TO PITCH A BOOK FOR CHILDREN 702 00:33:34,780 --> 00:33:36,182 AND SHE PITCHES THIS IDEA 703 00:33:36,215 --> 00:33:37,683 ABOUT A LITTLE GIRL WITH MAGIC CIGARETTES? 704 00:33:37,716 --> 00:33:39,185 AND IT'S REALLY FUNNY. [CHUCKLES] 705 00:33:39,218 --> 00:33:40,819 I HATE "SEX AND THE CITY." 706 00:33:40,852 --> 00:33:42,221 YEAH, BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT 707 00:33:42,254 --> 00:33:44,556 IT'S PRETTY FUCKING ENTERTAINING. 708 00:33:44,590 --> 00:33:46,058 I THINK IT'S BORING. 709 00:33:46,092 --> 00:33:48,460 WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? 710 00:33:50,396 --> 00:33:52,531 OH, MY GOD, ARE YOU INTO "LORD OF THE RINGS"? 711 00:33:52,564 --> 00:33:54,333 YOU KNOW, THE OLDER MY DAD GETS, 712 00:33:54,366 --> 00:33:55,701 THE MORE HE LOOKS LIKE GOLLUM FROM "LORD OF THE RINGS." 713 00:33:55,734 --> 00:33:57,703 [CHUCKLES] 714 00:33:57,736 --> 00:34:00,372 MY DAD, HE'S ALWAYS MAKING THE WORST JOKES, 715 00:34:00,406 --> 00:34:03,409 BUT THEN THIS ONE TIME HE LOST HIS WEDDING RING, 716 00:34:03,442 --> 00:34:04,610 AND HE WAS LIKE... 717 00:34:04,643 --> 00:34:06,712 [IMITATING GOLLUM] "I NEED MY PRECIOUS." 718 00:34:06,745 --> 00:34:09,381 AND WAS LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST THING I'D EVER HEARD. 719 00:34:09,415 --> 00:34:11,383 WHEN I WENT TO SEE THE FILM "PRECIOUS," 720 00:34:11,417 --> 00:34:13,519 THERE WAS A MENTALLY HANDICAPPED GUY SITTING NEXT TO ME, 721 00:34:13,552 --> 00:34:15,187 AND HE PUT HIS HAND ON MY LAP DURING THE MOVIE, 722 00:34:15,221 --> 00:34:16,722 AND IT REALLY FREAKED ME OUT. 723 00:34:16,755 --> 00:34:18,490 [LAUGHS] 724 00:34:18,524 --> 00:34:19,858 THAT'S HORRIBLE. 725 00:34:19,891 --> 00:34:22,328 DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME. THIS IS SERIOUS. 726 00:34:22,361 --> 00:34:23,729 YOU'RE RIGHT, IT'S VERY SERIOUS, AND I CANNOT BELIEVE 727 00:34:23,762 --> 00:34:25,597 THAT LIFETIME HAS NOT MADE THE MOVIE VERSION 728 00:34:25,631 --> 00:34:27,866 OF THE TIME SOME DUDE FELT YOU UP AT THE MOVIES. 729 00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:29,435 YOU'RE SUCH A JERK. 730 00:34:29,468 --> 00:34:31,137 YOU LOVE IT. 731 00:34:31,170 --> 00:34:32,638 SHIRIN. YEAH? 732 00:34:32,671 --> 00:34:35,407 WE'RE THE SAME KIND OF STONED PERSON. 733 00:34:35,441 --> 00:34:38,110 THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL. NO HOMO. 734 00:34:38,144 --> 00:34:39,511 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "NO HOMO"? 735 00:34:39,545 --> 00:34:41,113 OH, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT "NO HOMO" IS? 736 00:34:41,147 --> 00:34:43,415 OKAY, SO "NO HOMO" IS THIS THING 737 00:34:43,449 --> 00:34:44,716 THAT RAPPERS SAY TO EACH OTHER 738 00:34:44,750 --> 00:34:46,752 TO, LIKE, NULLIFY THE GAYNESS OF THEIR WORDS. 739 00:34:46,785 --> 00:34:48,420 THEY COULD BE LIKE, 740 00:34:48,454 --> 00:34:50,722 "THOSE ARE SOME REALLY FLY JEANS, MAN. NO HOMO." 741 00:34:50,756 --> 00:34:52,824 OR "YOUR SONG TOUCHED ME. NO HOMO." 742 00:34:52,858 --> 00:34:54,593 LIKE "I LIKE THE WAY YOUR DICK TASTES IN MY MOUTH. 743 00:34:54,626 --> 00:34:55,727 NO HOMO." 744 00:34:55,761 --> 00:34:57,163 [CHUCKLES] 745 00:34:57,196 --> 00:34:58,830 EXACTLY. 746 00:35:08,874 --> 00:35:10,809 I FEEL REALLY LUCKY TO HAVE MET YOU. 747 00:35:12,344 --> 00:35:14,146 NO HOMO? HOMO. 748 00:35:14,180 --> 00:35:15,581 [CHUCKLES] 749 00:35:21,353 --> 00:35:22,788 I LOVE HOW NONE OF YOUR WHITE SHIRTS 750 00:35:22,821 --> 00:35:24,656 GET THOSE REALLY ANNOYING PIT STAINS 751 00:35:24,690 --> 00:35:26,658 THAT MINE ALWAYS DO. 752 00:35:26,692 --> 00:35:28,660 I LOVE THAT YOU NOTICED THAT. 753 00:35:41,207 --> 00:35:42,341 I HAVE SOMETHING ON MY MIND, 754 00:35:42,374 --> 00:35:43,909 BUT IT FEELS TOO SCARY TO SAY OUT LOUD. 755 00:35:43,942 --> 00:35:45,444 SAY IT. 756 00:35:45,477 --> 00:35:46,812 DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING ON YOUR MIND? 757 00:35:46,845 --> 00:35:49,348 MAYBE. WHAT? 758 00:35:49,381 --> 00:35:50,716 DON'T BE A PUSSY. 759 00:35:52,318 --> 00:35:53,585 OKAY, LET'S SAY IT AT THE SAME TIME 760 00:35:53,619 --> 00:35:55,254 ON THE COUNT OF THREE. 761 00:35:56,722 --> 00:35:57,956 ONE... 762 00:35:57,989 --> 00:35:59,491 TWO... TWO... 763 00:35:59,525 --> 00:36:00,792 I'M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU. 764 00:36:00,826 --> 00:36:02,894 I'M THINKING OF TRANSITIONING INTO A MAN. 765 00:36:05,531 --> 00:36:07,433 [LAUGHING] 766 00:36:09,868 --> 00:36:11,903 OF COURSE I'M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU. 767 00:36:26,752 --> 00:36:28,654 [DISTANT CHATTER] 768 00:36:36,328 --> 00:36:37,763 [CHATTER] 769 00:36:39,931 --> 00:36:42,434 HI, EVERYONE. I'D LIKE TO WELCOME YOU ALL 770 00:36:42,468 --> 00:36:43,769 TO "WITH JUSTICE FOR SOME," 771 00:36:43,802 --> 00:36:45,637 WHERE WE LOOK AT THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM 772 00:36:45,671 --> 00:36:48,407 AND ITS BIAS AGAINST THE QUEER COMMUNITY. 773 00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,609 NOW IF ANY OF YOU ARE HERE FOR THE DYKE KNITTING CIRCLE, 774 00:36:50,642 --> 00:36:53,245 IT'S BEEN MOVED TO BABELAND ON RIVINGTON. 775 00:36:56,815 --> 00:36:59,951 UM, WE HAVE SOME COPIES OF THE CASE STUDY 776 00:36:59,985 --> 00:37:01,653 TO GO AROUND, SO PLEASE TAKE ONE 777 00:37:01,687 --> 00:37:03,455 IF YOU DON'T HAVE IT ALREADY. 778 00:37:06,992 --> 00:37:08,294 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 779 00:37:08,327 --> 00:37:09,895 OH, HEY. 780 00:37:09,928 --> 00:37:11,763 YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO CARES ABOUT GAY RIGHTS. 781 00:37:11,797 --> 00:37:13,632 THIS IS MY EVENT. I MARKED IT ON THE CALENDAR. 782 00:37:13,665 --> 00:37:14,800 HEY, GUYS, LET'S HOLD THE SIDE TALK 783 00:37:14,833 --> 00:37:16,001 UNTIL AFTER THE DISCUSSION. 784 00:37:16,034 --> 00:37:17,836 [WHISPERING] SORRY. 785 00:37:17,869 --> 00:37:19,805 [SASHA] WHY DON'T WE START BY INTRODUCING OURSELVES, HMM? 786 00:37:19,838 --> 00:37:23,775 I AM SASHA, AND I AM A LAW PROFESSOR AT NYU. 787 00:37:23,809 --> 00:37:25,977 HI, I'M MORGAN. I'M AN INTERN AT QUEER AID. 788 00:37:26,011 --> 00:37:27,579 [WHISPERING] MAXINE. 789 00:37:27,613 --> 00:37:28,580 WHAT? 790 00:37:28,614 --> 00:37:29,648 IS THAT SHIRT NEW? 791 00:37:29,681 --> 00:37:32,050 [SIGHING] YES. 792 00:37:32,083 --> 00:37:33,985 IT LOOKS REALLY GOOD ON YOU. 793 00:37:34,019 --> 00:37:36,455 I'M JOSEPH HENDERSON, AND I'M EXTREMELY 794 00:37:36,488 --> 00:37:38,824 DISAPPOINTED WITH THE READING MATERIAL YOU'VE PROVIDED. 795 00:37:38,857 --> 00:37:41,059 [JOSEPH] ABSOLUTELY NO REFERENCE TO CRIME AGAINST NATURE LAWS. 796 00:37:41,092 --> 00:37:42,594 [WHISPERING] IT'S WEIRD SEEING YOU IN SOMETHING I DON'T REMEMBER. 797 00:37:42,628 --> 00:37:44,463 [SIGHING] 798 00:37:44,496 --> 00:37:45,897 [SASHA] TRUE, UM, THIS READING DOESN'T REFER TO-- 799 00:37:45,931 --> 00:37:48,334 I WAS ARRESTED AT 18 FOR HAVING CONSENSUAL SEX 800 00:37:48,367 --> 00:37:49,635 WITH MY 16-YEAR-OLD BOYFRIEND. 801 00:37:49,668 --> 00:37:51,403 I SPENT FOUR YEARS IN JAIL, 802 00:37:51,437 --> 00:37:52,738 AND AFTERWARDS FORCED TO REGISTER IS A SEX OFFENDER. 803 00:37:52,771 --> 00:37:53,805 [WHISPERING] WHAT ARE YOU DOING LATER? 804 00:37:53,839 --> 00:37:55,341 [WHISPERING] GOING HOME. 805 00:37:55,374 --> 00:37:57,409 REMEMBER WHEN THAT WAS MY HOME, TOO? 806 00:37:57,443 --> 00:37:58,510 PLEASE DON'T DO THIS. 807 00:37:58,544 --> 00:37:59,811 [JOSEPH] I'M A SEX OFFENDER. 808 00:37:59,845 --> 00:38:03,349 EVERY TOWN I MOVE TO, EVERY JOB I APPLY FOR-- 809 00:38:03,382 --> 00:38:04,883 MY LIFE IS RUINED. 810 00:38:04,916 --> 00:38:06,885 HAVE A DRINK WITH ME LATER? 811 00:38:06,918 --> 00:38:07,919 NO. 812 00:38:07,953 --> 00:38:09,655 I JUST WANT TO TALK. NO! 813 00:38:09,688 --> 00:38:11,056 [KRISTA] ...AND I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO BE 814 00:38:11,089 --> 00:38:14,560 TALKING ABOUT MARGINALIZED WOMEN HERE TODAY. 815 00:38:18,364 --> 00:38:19,431 YES. 816 00:38:19,465 --> 00:38:20,666 MY NAME IS SHIRIN. 817 00:38:20,699 --> 00:38:26,338 I AM AN IRANIAN BISEXUAL TEACHER, 818 00:38:26,372 --> 00:38:28,607 AND I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE YOU OUT FOR A DRINK. 819 00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:31,377 N-- NOW? 820 00:38:31,410 --> 00:38:32,578 RIGHT AFTER THIS. 821 00:38:32,611 --> 00:38:34,380 I WOULD LIKE TO BUY YOU A DRINK. 822 00:38:36,715 --> 00:38:37,883 UM... 823 00:38:39,851 --> 00:38:41,820 EACH FRAME IS A PICTURE. 824 00:38:41,853 --> 00:38:43,655 THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL IT, A FRAME. 825 00:38:43,689 --> 00:38:47,493 AND, UH, WHEN YOU WANT TO HAVE THE CANDY MOVE, 826 00:38:47,526 --> 00:38:49,995 YOU'RE GONNA TAKE A PICTURE OF IT WHERE IT IS, 827 00:38:50,028 --> 00:38:51,863 MOVE IT VERY, VERY SLIGHTLY, 828 00:38:51,897 --> 00:38:53,832 AND THEN TO THE NEXT PLACE, 829 00:38:53,865 --> 00:38:55,967 AND THEN YOU TAKE A PICTURE AND YOU HAVE IT THERE, 830 00:38:56,001 --> 00:38:57,135 AND THEN MOVE IT A LITTLE BIT-- 831 00:38:57,168 --> 00:38:58,904 HE TOOK IT! DO NOT EAT THOSE. 832 00:38:58,937 --> 00:39:00,706 THOSE ARE FOR THE STOP-MOTION ANIMATION. 833 00:39:00,739 --> 00:39:02,140 JUST ONE. 834 00:39:02,173 --> 00:39:04,376 YOU JUST SHOVED LIKE 40 INTO YOUR MOUTH AT ONCE. 835 00:39:04,410 --> 00:39:05,577 I GET 40, TOO. 836 00:39:05,611 --> 00:39:06,912 ME, TOO! 837 00:39:06,945 --> 00:39:08,714 I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. ME, TOO! 838 00:39:10,449 --> 00:39:12,551 ARE YOU OLD ENOUGH TO GO ON YOUR OWN? 839 00:39:12,584 --> 00:39:13,685 I DON'T KNOW. 840 00:39:15,521 --> 00:39:17,355 ALL RIGHT, WAIT HERE. 841 00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:23,161 ALL RIGHT, FIRST SHOT OF THE DAY. 842 00:39:23,194 --> 00:39:25,431 WE HAVE THE FLOCKS OF BIRDS SWARM INTO FRAME, 843 00:39:25,464 --> 00:39:26,698 EVIL-LOOKING RAVENS AND GULLS. 844 00:39:26,732 --> 00:39:28,834 HOW'S THAT LOOKING, ART DEPARTMENT? 845 00:39:28,867 --> 00:39:30,035 EXCELLENT. AND SOUND? 846 00:39:30,068 --> 00:39:31,437 IS EVERYTHING SET? 847 00:39:31,470 --> 00:39:32,504 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 848 00:39:32,538 --> 00:39:34,105 HI. SORRY TO INTERRUPT. 849 00:39:34,139 --> 00:39:35,707 NOT A PROBLEM. 850 00:39:35,741 --> 00:39:37,108 WE WERE JUST PREPPING FOR TODAY'S SHOOT. 851 00:39:37,142 --> 00:39:38,877 GRACIE, WOULD YOU MIND, UH, 852 00:39:38,910 --> 00:39:41,413 BRIEFING OUR GUEST ON TODAY'S PROJECT? 853 00:39:41,447 --> 00:39:43,181 WE'RE DOING A SHOT-FOR-SHOT REMAKE 854 00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:46,017 OF A SCENE FROM "THE BIRDS." 855 00:39:48,086 --> 00:39:51,923 I'M SHIRIN. I TEACH ACROSS THE HALL. 856 00:39:51,957 --> 00:39:54,793 HI, I'M TIBET. THIS IS THE ADVANCED CLASS. 857 00:39:54,826 --> 00:39:56,528 I HAVE A REAL QUICK QUESTION FOR YOU. 858 00:39:56,562 --> 00:39:57,763 YES? 859 00:39:57,796 --> 00:39:59,731 SO, YEAH, MY KIDS ARE REAL YOUNG, 860 00:39:59,765 --> 00:40:01,867 LIKE FIVE YEARS OLD, AND ONE OF THEM NEEDS 861 00:40:01,900 --> 00:40:03,435 TO USE THE BATHROOM. 862 00:40:03,469 --> 00:40:05,203 YES? 863 00:40:05,236 --> 00:40:08,073 WELL, DO I HAVE TO GO IN WITH HIM, OR IS THAT PERVY? 864 00:40:08,106 --> 00:40:09,508 ARE YOU SERIOUS? 865 00:40:09,541 --> 00:40:11,042 YES. 866 00:40:11,076 --> 00:40:13,078 JUST STAND BEHIND THE DOOR AND ASK IF HE NEEDS HELP. 867 00:40:13,111 --> 00:40:14,613 OH. 868 00:40:14,646 --> 00:40:16,582 OKAY, THANKS. [SIGHING] 869 00:40:16,615 --> 00:40:19,618 NOT A PROBLEM, MY FRIEND. 870 00:40:19,651 --> 00:40:22,187 HAVE WE MET BEFORE? 871 00:40:22,220 --> 00:40:24,656 I DON'T THINK SO. I USED TO BE A HAIR MODEL, 872 00:40:24,690 --> 00:40:28,026 SO YOU MIGHT RECOGNIZE ME FROM THAT. 873 00:40:28,059 --> 00:40:29,160 YEAH, THAT'S PROBABLY IT. 874 00:40:29,194 --> 00:40:31,029 [CHUCKLING SOFTLY] THANK YOU. 875 00:40:32,564 --> 00:40:34,900 ALL RIGHT, SECOND SHOT OF THE DAY. 876 00:40:34,933 --> 00:40:36,802 WE HAVE, "SHE IS TRAPPED IN THE PHONE BOOTH 877 00:40:36,835 --> 00:40:38,637 AND THE BIRDS ARE FLYING IN TO ATTACK HER." 878 00:40:38,670 --> 00:40:40,606 HAIR AND MAKEUP FOR THAT, HOW ARE YOU DOING? 879 00:40:40,639 --> 00:40:43,475 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING ALL THE WAY OUT TO BROOKLYN. 880 00:40:43,509 --> 00:40:45,777 IT IS SO NICE THAT YOU FINALLY GOT TO SEE THE PLACE. 881 00:40:45,811 --> 00:40:47,746 WELL, THE RUG LOOKS QUITE NICE IN HERE. 882 00:40:47,779 --> 00:40:48,747 THANK YOU. 883 00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:50,516 WHY IS THERE ONLY ONE BED? 884 00:40:50,549 --> 00:40:53,685 IT'S EUROPEAN AND THRIFTY. 885 00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:55,053 THERE'S A LOT OF BENEFITS. 886 00:40:55,086 --> 00:40:57,188 AND HOW-- HOW'S THAT EUROPEAN? 887 00:40:57,222 --> 00:40:58,957 I HAVE AN ITALIAN FRIEND NAMED CECILIA, 888 00:40:58,990 --> 00:41:01,226 AND SHE HER BEST FRIEND, UH, 889 00:41:01,259 --> 00:41:03,161 SHARED ONE BED FOR YEARS, 890 00:41:03,194 --> 00:41:04,730 AND THEY SAVED SO MUCH MONEY ON RENT 891 00:41:04,763 --> 00:41:06,064 THAT THEY WERE ABLE TO AFFORD 892 00:41:06,097 --> 00:41:07,666 VERY BIG WEDDINGS TO THEIR BOYFRIENDS. 893 00:41:09,968 --> 00:41:11,202 DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND, MAXINE? 894 00:41:13,038 --> 00:41:15,040 [SIGHING] NO, I DON'T. 895 00:41:15,073 --> 00:41:16,942 ALSO, IN THE MOVIE "BEACHES," 896 00:41:16,975 --> 00:41:19,645 THESE TWO BEST FRIENDS SHARED A BED, 897 00:41:19,678 --> 00:41:22,013 AND IT WAS VERY INEXPENSIVE. 898 00:41:25,984 --> 00:41:27,919 SO, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING. 899 00:41:27,953 --> 00:41:29,655 NICE TO SEE YOU BOTH AGAIN. 900 00:41:29,688 --> 00:41:30,822 WELL, BYE, GIRLS. 901 00:41:30,856 --> 00:41:31,890 BYE. 902 00:41:31,923 --> 00:41:33,258 LET ME WALK YOU OUT. 903 00:41:40,632 --> 00:41:43,034 [SIGHING] OH, MY GOD. 904 00:41:43,068 --> 00:41:46,037 YOU... YOU'RE AN ANGEL. 905 00:41:46,071 --> 00:41:47,939 YOU HAVE TO TELL THEM ABOUT US. 906 00:41:47,973 --> 00:41:49,675 I KNOW. 907 00:41:49,708 --> 00:41:50,976 [KNOCKING AT DOOR] 908 00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:52,678 YES? 909 00:41:52,711 --> 00:41:55,046 HI. HEY. 910 00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:56,782 CRYSTAL, DID YOU SEE MY PARENTS? 911 00:41:56,815 --> 00:41:59,217 OH, YEAH, WE JUST PASSED IN THE HALL. 912 00:41:59,250 --> 00:42:00,686 HEY, MAXINE. 913 00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:03,822 HI. 914 00:42:03,855 --> 00:42:05,657 MMM, DON'T MIND HER. 915 00:42:05,691 --> 00:42:07,793 SHE'S UPSET 'CAUSE I'M NOT OUT TO MY PARENTS. 916 00:42:07,826 --> 00:42:11,029 OH, WELL, YOU GUYS LIVE IN A ONE-BEDROOM APARTMENT. 917 00:42:11,062 --> 00:42:12,798 I'M PRETTY SURE THEY KNOW. 918 00:42:12,831 --> 00:42:16,101 DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL. 919 00:42:16,134 --> 00:42:17,836 YOU KNOW WHAT? 920 00:42:17,869 --> 00:42:20,972 IT'S A PROCESS, AND I'M WORKING ON IT. 921 00:42:23,008 --> 00:42:25,043 OKAY, WE SHOULD PROBABLY LEAVE. 922 00:42:27,045 --> 00:42:27,946 THINK I'M GONNA BOW OUT. 923 00:42:30,215 --> 00:42:32,083 MAXINE, YOU PROMISED YOU'D GO. 924 00:42:32,117 --> 00:42:33,685 CRYSTAL'S A FRIEND WHO'S GONNA DRESS UP 925 00:42:33,719 --> 00:42:35,854 LIKE A FARM ANIMAL AND TOUCH HERSELF, COME. 926 00:42:35,887 --> 00:42:38,056 I CAN'T HANDLE AN ART SHOW RIGHT NOW. 927 00:42:40,792 --> 00:42:42,560 OKAY. 928 00:42:43,962 --> 00:42:45,731 I LOVE YOU. 929 00:42:45,764 --> 00:42:46,732 BYE. 930 00:42:46,765 --> 00:42:48,867 BYE. 931 00:42:48,900 --> 00:42:51,937 BYE, MAXINE. BYE. 932 00:42:55,273 --> 00:42:56,775 [SIGHS] 933 00:43:03,749 --> 00:43:06,918 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ACCEPTING MY INVITATION. 934 00:43:06,952 --> 00:43:10,288 WELL, I COULDN'T HAVE REFUSED EVEN IF I WANTED TO. 935 00:43:10,321 --> 00:43:11,957 ALL THOSE PEOPLE. 936 00:43:11,990 --> 00:43:13,692 YOU'RE RIGHT. 937 00:43:13,725 --> 00:43:16,662 I WILL INVITE THEM ALL TO OUR WEDDING. 938 00:43:21,332 --> 00:43:22,868 UM, WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING? 939 00:43:22,901 --> 00:43:24,069 IT'S KIND OF LIKE AN OLD FASHIONED. 940 00:43:24,102 --> 00:43:25,804 WANT TO TRY IT? 941 00:43:25,837 --> 00:43:26,972 YEAH. 942 00:43:27,005 --> 00:43:28,907 YOU KNOW, I CAN UM, TIE A CHERRY STEM 943 00:43:28,940 --> 00:43:30,709 INTO A KNOT WITH MY TONGUE. 944 00:43:30,742 --> 00:43:32,177 REAL-- 945 00:43:37,248 --> 00:43:40,185 UM... 946 00:43:42,688 --> 00:43:44,222 YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD LOOK. 947 00:43:44,255 --> 00:43:46,658 THANK YOU. I FEEL VERY SEXY. 948 00:43:46,692 --> 00:43:49,828 I'M SURPRISED BY HOW QUICKLY THEY SPRUNG INTO ACTION. 949 00:43:49,861 --> 00:43:51,129 IT'S ALMOST AS IF THEY EXPECTED ME 950 00:43:51,162 --> 00:43:52,931 TO MAKE A HUGE MESS. 951 00:43:52,964 --> 00:43:55,333 OH, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE A CONSPIRACY ON YOUR HANDS. 952 00:43:55,366 --> 00:43:56,802 YES, I DO. 953 00:43:56,835 --> 00:43:59,938 THIS IS NOT A CASE OF ME BEING A CLUMSY OAF. 954 00:43:59,971 --> 00:44:02,140 I AM A VICTIM OF A LARGER FORCE. 955 00:44:02,173 --> 00:44:03,842 THE BAR AND ALCOHOL INDUSTRY. 956 00:44:03,875 --> 00:44:05,276 YES. OUT TO GET YOU. 957 00:44:05,310 --> 00:44:08,179 YES, 'CAUSE THEY NEED A GIRL LIKE ME TO, YOU KNOW, 958 00:44:08,213 --> 00:44:10,448 HUMILIATE HERSELF, SO THAT THE OTHER PATRONS 959 00:44:10,481 --> 00:44:12,383 CAN FEEL MORE CONFIDENT. 960 00:44:12,417 --> 00:44:13,719 YEAH, 'CAUSE THEY GET TO GO HOME 961 00:44:13,752 --> 00:44:16,187 WITH A DRINK AND A SHOW. YEAH. 962 00:44:16,221 --> 00:44:17,989 OKAY. 963 00:44:19,891 --> 00:44:21,793 ARE YOU HORRIFIED? 964 00:44:21,827 --> 00:44:23,695 IS THIS LIKE THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING 965 00:44:23,729 --> 00:44:24,930 YOU'VE EVER WITNESSED? 966 00:44:24,963 --> 00:44:28,033 I DON'T EMBARRASS EASILY. 967 00:44:28,066 --> 00:44:31,402 I LIKE THAT. 968 00:44:36,775 --> 00:44:37,843 IT'S GETTING LATE. 969 00:44:37,876 --> 00:44:40,378 YEAH. 970 00:44:40,411 --> 00:44:41,813 DO YOU WANT TO SEE MY PLACE? 971 00:44:41,847 --> 00:44:44,082 I LIVE WITH THIS WOMAN WHO MAY OR MAY NOT 972 00:44:44,115 --> 00:44:46,051 BE PRACTICING WITCHCRAFT. 973 00:44:46,084 --> 00:44:49,420 I'D LOVE TO INTRODUCE YOU. 974 00:44:52,290 --> 00:44:53,925 CAN I TAKE A RAIN CHECK? 975 00:44:53,959 --> 00:44:56,895 YEAH, SURE, OF COURSE. 976 00:44:56,928 --> 00:44:59,397 UM... GET THE CHECK, PLEASE? 977 00:45:01,032 --> 00:45:07,005 THIS IS ON ME, LITERALLY AND METAPHORICALLY. 978 00:45:07,038 --> 00:45:08,173 NO, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 979 00:45:08,206 --> 00:45:09,941 NO, I SAID I GOT IT. 980 00:45:09,975 --> 00:45:11,009 I GOT-- I GOT THIS ONE. 981 00:45:11,042 --> 00:45:12,043 THANK YOU. 982 00:45:12,077 --> 00:45:14,045 NO, I'VE-- LOOK, I GOT IT. 983 00:45:14,079 --> 00:45:17,015 I SAID I GOT IT. I'M NOT TAKING THIS BACK. 984 00:45:17,048 --> 00:45:20,051 I INVITED YOU OUT. 985 00:45:23,488 --> 00:45:24,790 OKAY. 986 00:45:26,157 --> 00:45:28,026 WHAT TRAIN YOU TAKING HOME? 987 00:45:28,059 --> 00:45:30,762 ACTUALLY, I'M GONNA STAY AND USE THE BATHROOM. 988 00:45:30,796 --> 00:45:32,197 YOU SHOULD JUST GO. NO, I'LL WAIT. 989 00:45:32,230 --> 00:45:34,365 NO, IT'S OKAY. JUST GO. 990 00:45:34,399 --> 00:45:37,769 YOU ARE STUBBORN. 991 00:45:37,803 --> 00:45:39,470 YEAH. 992 00:45:43,441 --> 00:45:45,210 THANKS FOR COMING OUT WITH ME. 993 00:45:45,243 --> 00:45:48,079 WELL, THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME. 994 00:45:50,916 --> 00:45:52,383 OKAY, BYE. 995 00:45:52,417 --> 00:45:54,820 BYE. 996 00:46:10,068 --> 00:46:11,436 HI. 997 00:46:11,469 --> 00:46:15,874 UM, CAN I HAVE THE CHEAPEST RED YOU'VE GOT? 998 00:46:28,987 --> 00:46:30,856 THANK YOU. 999 00:46:56,647 --> 00:46:58,583 CAN I ASK WHAT YOU'RE HAVING? 1000 00:46:58,616 --> 00:47:02,287 THE CHEAPEST RED THEY HAD. 1001 00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:04,155 HOW IS IT? 1002 00:47:04,189 --> 00:47:06,557 ALCOHOLIC. 1003 00:47:06,591 --> 00:47:09,094 WITH AN OAKY FINISH. 1004 00:47:09,127 --> 00:47:11,562 SOUNDS GOOD. 1005 00:47:11,596 --> 00:47:14,099 SORRY, I'M NOT WELL-VERSED IN WINE TALK. 1006 00:47:14,132 --> 00:47:16,067 "OAKY FINISH" WAS A NICE TOUCH. 1007 00:47:16,101 --> 00:47:19,470 THANKS. 1008 00:47:19,504 --> 00:47:21,372 I'M TED. SHIRIN. 1009 00:47:21,406 --> 00:47:23,909 SHIRIN. HI. HI. 1010 00:47:23,942 --> 00:47:25,510 UM, DO YOU LIVE AROUND HERE? 1011 00:47:25,543 --> 00:47:27,412 HI. 1012 00:47:27,445 --> 00:47:28,880 OH, HEY, WHO'S YOUR FRIEND? 1013 00:47:28,914 --> 00:47:30,348 THIS IS SHIRIN. 1014 00:47:30,381 --> 00:47:32,050 SHIRIN, I'M MARIE. 1015 00:47:32,083 --> 00:47:34,652 HI. 1016 00:47:34,685 --> 00:47:37,588 YEAH, WE UH, LIVE A FEW BLOCKS FROM HERE, ACTUALLY. 1017 00:47:37,622 --> 00:47:39,524 MM-HM. COOL. 1018 00:47:39,557 --> 00:47:42,894 HEY, DO YOU WANT TO COME SIT WITH US? 1019 00:47:42,928 --> 00:47:45,931 OKAY. [CHUCKLES] 1020 00:47:45,964 --> 00:47:48,399 I'M LIKE ONE BAD ROMANTIC ENCOUNTER AWAY 1021 00:47:48,433 --> 00:47:50,635 FROM MOVING TO FRANCE AND CHANGING MY IDENTITY. 1022 00:47:50,668 --> 00:47:52,203 HMM. 1023 00:47:52,237 --> 00:47:53,404 DO YOU WANT AN OLIVE? 1024 00:47:53,438 --> 00:47:54,906 NO, I'M OKAY. 1025 00:47:54,940 --> 00:47:56,407 BUT MAYBE I SHOULD GO TO, LIKE, 1026 00:47:56,441 --> 00:47:59,077 A LESS GLAMOROUS PLACE, LIKE SLOVENIA OR SOMETHING, 1027 00:47:59,110 --> 00:48:01,146 WHERE MY CHANCES OF POPULARITY WOULD BE GREATER. 1028 00:48:01,179 --> 00:48:04,149 HMM. THEY'RE REALLY GOOD. 1029 00:48:04,182 --> 00:48:05,616 I'M OKAY. [GIGGLES] 1030 00:48:05,650 --> 00:48:08,119 WOULD YOU LIKE SOME WINE? YEAH. 1031 00:48:08,153 --> 00:48:11,189 WHY ARE YOU GIGGLING? 1032 00:48:11,222 --> 00:48:13,558 I'M JUST-- I'VE BEEN PLOTTING ON HOW 1033 00:48:13,591 --> 00:48:15,360 TO GET YOU EAT ONE OF THESE OLIVES, 1034 00:48:15,393 --> 00:48:18,096 BECAUSE THEY'RE COVERED IN GARLIC, 1035 00:48:18,129 --> 00:48:21,366 AND WE'VE ALREADY HAD SOME. 1036 00:48:21,399 --> 00:48:24,269 OH. 1037 00:48:24,302 --> 00:48:27,973 I GUESS IT'S SORT OF AN ALL OR NOTHING KIND OF THING. 1038 00:48:33,744 --> 00:48:35,546 PROBLEM SOLVED. 1039 00:48:37,983 --> 00:48:43,688 * 1040 00:49:07,545 --> 00:49:10,348 YOU SHOULD SHOW HER YOUR LATEX OUTFIT. 1041 00:49:10,381 --> 00:49:12,617 YOU HAVE A LATEX OUTFIT? 1042 00:49:12,650 --> 00:49:15,620 YEAH. YEAH, I HAVE TO OIL UP TO PUT IT ON. 1043 00:49:15,653 --> 00:49:18,089 WOW. YEAH, PLEASE PUT THAT ON. 1044 00:49:18,123 --> 00:49:19,590 [CHUCKLES] OH. 1045 00:49:19,624 --> 00:49:21,559 THANKS. 1046 00:49:24,429 --> 00:49:26,331 DRINK? YEAH. 1047 00:49:28,199 --> 00:49:32,037 UM, SO IN WHAT SITUATION DOES A PERSON FIND THEMSELVES 1048 00:49:32,070 --> 00:49:34,105 IN NEED OF LATEX OUTFIT? 1049 00:49:34,139 --> 00:49:36,107 BURLESQUE SHOWS, PLAY PARTIES, 1050 00:49:36,141 --> 00:49:37,642 ALL KINDS OF PLACES, REALLY. 1051 00:49:37,675 --> 00:49:39,310 AH. 1052 00:49:39,344 --> 00:49:43,348 UM, OKAY, BUT-- BUT HERE'S MY QUESTION. 1053 00:49:43,381 --> 00:49:45,283 WHY DO THE WOMEN HAVE TO DRESS UP 1054 00:49:45,316 --> 00:49:46,584 LIKE SLUTTY CUPCAKES? 1055 00:49:46,617 --> 00:49:48,253 WHAT ABOUT THE DUDES? 1056 00:49:48,286 --> 00:49:52,123 WELL, I HAVE A LATEX OUTFIT, TOO. 1057 00:49:52,157 --> 00:49:54,325 [LAUGHS] 1058 00:49:54,359 --> 00:49:56,694 THAT'S SOUNDS HORRIBLE. 1059 00:49:56,727 --> 00:49:58,563 [MARIE] OH, IT'S REALLY CUTE. 1060 00:49:58,596 --> 00:50:01,766 I'LL HAVE TO TAKE YOUR WORD ON THAT ONE. 1061 00:50:16,681 --> 00:50:18,049 THANKS. 1062 00:50:19,684 --> 00:50:21,086 CHEERS. CHEERS. 1063 00:50:37,535 --> 00:50:39,470 [GIGGLES] 1064 00:50:47,612 --> 00:50:49,447 [MOANING] 1065 00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:30,488 [LAUGHING] 1066 00:53:14,359 --> 00:53:16,227 ARE YOU OKAY? 1067 00:53:18,963 --> 00:53:20,498 YEAH. 1068 00:53:20,531 --> 00:53:23,401 I'M SORRY, I-- I JUST GOT A LITTLE IN MY HEAD 1069 00:53:23,434 --> 00:53:26,003 FOR A MINUTE. 1070 00:53:26,036 --> 00:53:28,473 NO, IT'S-- IT'S OKAY. 1071 00:53:28,506 --> 00:53:31,742 IT'S OKAY. 1072 00:53:31,776 --> 00:53:37,548 SO THIS IS MY FIRST TIME DOING THIS. 1073 00:53:37,582 --> 00:53:41,919 WELL, WE CAN TAKE IT SLOW. 1074 00:53:41,952 --> 00:53:44,655 THANK YOU. 1075 00:53:53,398 --> 00:53:55,700 I LIKE YOU. 1076 00:53:55,733 --> 00:53:57,268 A LOT. 1077 00:53:57,302 --> 00:53:58,736 [CHUCKLES] 1078 00:53:58,769 --> 00:54:01,606 THANK YOU. I LIKE YOU, TOO. 1079 00:54:03,374 --> 00:54:05,776 YOU KNOW WHAT? WE DON'T HAVE TO FUCK. 1080 00:54:05,810 --> 00:54:08,279 YOU KNOW, WE CAN JUST HANG OUT, 1081 00:54:08,313 --> 00:54:10,281 PLAY MONOPOLY OR SOMETHING. 1082 00:54:10,315 --> 00:54:13,518 THAT ACTUALLY SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF FUN. 1083 00:54:13,551 --> 00:54:15,953 GREAT. I HAVE THE CLUE VERSION. 1084 00:54:15,986 --> 00:54:17,288 OH. YEAH. 1085 00:54:17,322 --> 00:54:18,523 THAT'S REALLY COOL. YEAH. 1086 00:54:18,556 --> 00:54:20,391 [LAUGHS] IT'S AWESOME. 1087 00:54:20,425 --> 00:54:24,362 HONEY. 1088 00:54:24,395 --> 00:54:26,464 [TED] YOU TWO CAN STAY AS YOU ARE. 1089 00:54:31,035 --> 00:54:32,603 UM, I SHOULD GET DRESSED. 1090 00:54:32,637 --> 00:54:34,439 NO, DON'T. 1091 00:54:36,541 --> 00:54:41,379 IT'S OKAY. UM, I SH-- I SHOULD GO. 1092 00:54:41,412 --> 00:54:43,548 NO, NO. 1093 00:54:43,581 --> 00:54:44,882 TED, TED, TELL HER TO STAY. 1094 00:55:16,847 --> 00:55:18,383 THANKS. 1095 00:55:21,051 --> 00:55:22,653 I REALLY DON'T WANT THIS TO BE THE LAST TIME 1096 00:55:22,687 --> 00:55:24,355 THAT WE SEE EACH OTHER. 1097 00:55:26,557 --> 00:55:28,693 ME, NEITHER. 1098 00:55:51,816 --> 00:55:53,751 [SNIFFLING] 1099 00:55:53,784 --> 00:55:59,690 * 1100 00:56:24,982 --> 00:56:27,685 [LOUD DANCE MUSIC] 1101 00:56:27,718 --> 00:56:34,692 * 1102 00:56:34,725 --> 00:56:36,594 [SHIRIN] HOW COME NO ONE SAID YOU HAD TO COME DRESSED 1103 00:56:36,627 --> 00:56:38,929 AS ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTERS FROM "THE LITTLE RASCALS"? 1104 00:56:38,963 --> 00:56:41,131 THAT'S THE GREAT THING ABOUT PRIDE. 1105 00:56:43,801 --> 00:56:46,003 PEOPLE HERE LOOK LIKE THEY DIDN'T GO TO COLLEGE. 1106 00:56:46,036 --> 00:56:48,506 YOUR ATTITUDE IS REALLY PISSING ME OFF. 1107 00:56:48,539 --> 00:56:51,776 SORRY. 1108 00:56:51,809 --> 00:56:54,512 DID YOU SEE THE DRAG QUEEN? THAT'S MY FRIEND. 1109 00:56:54,545 --> 00:56:56,447 HOW COME THE ONLY ASPECT OF GAY CULTURE 1110 00:56:56,481 --> 00:56:57,748 THAT'S OKAY WITH YOU IS DRAG? 1111 00:56:57,782 --> 00:57:00,851 HEY, WHAT AM I GOOD AT? 1112 00:57:00,885 --> 00:57:02,052 I DON'T KNOW, WHAT? 1113 00:57:02,086 --> 00:57:04,154 DRINKING AND DANCING, REMEMBER? 1114 00:57:04,188 --> 00:57:05,990 LET'S HAVE FUN. 1115 00:57:06,023 --> 00:57:08,993 FINE. KISS ME. 1116 00:57:09,026 --> 00:57:11,195 TWO VODKA RED BULLS, PLEASE. 1117 00:57:19,537 --> 00:57:21,205 THANK YOU. THANKS. 1118 00:57:29,847 --> 00:57:31,982 AAH. 1119 00:57:34,284 --> 00:57:35,953 CAN I GET ANOTHER ONE? 1120 00:57:35,986 --> 00:57:41,892 * 1121 00:57:48,999 --> 00:57:51,502 YOU HAVIN' FUN? 1122 00:57:51,536 --> 00:57:53,738 SURE. 1123 00:57:53,771 --> 00:57:56,974 LOOK, BEFORE YOU ASK, NO, I'M NOT AN F TO M TRANSSEXUAL. 1124 00:57:57,007 --> 00:57:58,876 UH, SORRY TO DISAPPOINT. 1125 00:57:58,909 --> 00:58:00,678 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 1126 00:58:00,711 --> 00:58:02,880 MY SISTER AND I MADE A BET. 1127 00:58:02,913 --> 00:58:04,882 I'M GUESSING SHE WON? 1128 00:58:04,915 --> 00:58:07,251 AH... CORRECT. 1129 00:58:07,284 --> 00:58:08,953 I'M MAXINE. 1130 00:58:08,986 --> 00:58:10,721 GEORGE. 1131 00:58:10,755 --> 00:58:13,157 NICE TO MEET YOU. 1132 00:58:13,190 --> 00:58:18,929 * 1133 00:58:26,236 --> 00:58:29,840 [BALLOONS SQUEAKING] 1134 00:58:58,135 --> 00:59:00,204 I CAN SEE YOU. 1135 00:59:04,308 --> 00:59:05,910 SHIRIN, STOP. FUCK YOU. 1136 00:59:05,943 --> 00:59:07,244 I'M SORRY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. 1137 00:59:07,277 --> 00:59:08,746 WHAT THE FUCK? HE'S A MAN. 1138 00:59:08,779 --> 00:59:10,280 IT WAS LIKE KISSING A BABY. 1139 00:59:10,314 --> 00:59:11,348 WHAT? 1140 00:59:11,381 --> 00:59:14,051 IT'S JUST LIKE LIPS TOUCHING. 1141 00:59:14,084 --> 00:59:15,152 I HATE YOU SO MUCH WHEN YOU'RE DRINKING. 1142 00:59:15,185 --> 00:59:16,721 I'M SO-- DO NOT TOUCH ME. 1143 00:59:16,754 --> 00:59:18,222 WHOA. ARE YOU OKAY? 1144 00:59:18,255 --> 00:59:20,591 YOU SHOVED ME OFF, LIKE, REALLY VIOLENTLY. 1145 00:59:20,625 --> 00:59:21,926 YOU CHEATED ON ME. 1146 00:59:21,959 --> 00:59:23,728 YOU HIT ME. 1147 00:59:23,761 --> 00:59:26,163 [SIGHS] I FEEL SICK. 1148 00:59:27,732 --> 00:59:29,600 PLEASE DON'T CRY. 1149 00:59:29,634 --> 00:59:31,001 DON'T. 1150 00:59:31,035 --> 00:59:33,037 I'M SORRY. YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE ME. 1151 00:59:33,070 --> 00:59:35,139 WHO IS HE? 1152 00:59:35,172 --> 00:59:37,007 JUST SOME GUY AT THE BAR. WE WERE JUST DRINKING. 1153 00:59:37,041 --> 00:59:39,844 AND YOU WERE LIKE, "WANT TO KISS A LESBIAN?" 1154 00:59:39,877 --> 00:59:41,011 IT ONLY LASTED A SECOND. 1155 00:59:41,045 --> 00:59:42,947 I WAS WATCHING YOU. IT WAS FOREVER. 1156 00:59:42,980 --> 00:59:45,916 HEY. I AM SORRY. 1157 00:59:45,950 --> 00:59:47,618 YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE ME. 1158 01:00:04,401 --> 01:00:07,938 WHO SPENDS $300 ON A GARTER BELT? 1159 01:00:07,972 --> 01:00:09,874 MAY I HELP YOU? UH, WE'RE JUST LOOKING. 1160 01:00:09,907 --> 01:00:11,175 ACTUALLY, YES. 1161 01:00:11,208 --> 01:00:13,878 UM, I'M LOOKING FOR THE GROWN-UP UNDERWEAR 1162 01:00:13,911 --> 01:00:16,146 OF A WOMAN IN CHARGE OF HER SEXUALITY 1163 01:00:16,180 --> 01:00:17,414 AND NOT AFRAID OF CHANGE. 1164 01:00:17,447 --> 01:00:19,650 I'VE GOT THAT. 1165 01:00:21,451 --> 01:00:25,255 THIS JUST CAME IN FROM FRANCE. 1166 01:00:25,289 --> 01:00:27,024 IT'S A BIT PINK. 1167 01:00:27,057 --> 01:00:28,392 WELL, WHY DON'T YOU TRY IT ON FOR YOURSELF? 1168 01:00:28,425 --> 01:00:29,760 LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU NEED, 1169 01:00:29,794 --> 01:00:31,095 AND I'LL GET A ROOM READY FOR YOU. 1170 01:00:31,128 --> 01:00:32,797 I ACTUALLY NEED TO STOCK UP ON PANTIES. 1171 01:00:32,830 --> 01:00:35,733 MY EX-GIRLFRIEND UH, CUT UP MOST OF MINE, 1172 01:00:35,766 --> 01:00:37,434 SO I'M GONNA NEED MORE. 1173 01:00:37,467 --> 01:00:40,104 WHAT ABOUT BRAS? I DON'T WEAR THOSE. 1174 01:00:40,137 --> 01:00:41,706 WHY NOT? 1175 01:00:41,739 --> 01:00:42,873 JUST DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH TO WORK WITH, 1176 01:00:42,907 --> 01:00:44,408 SO IT FEELS A LITTLE SILLY. 1177 01:00:44,441 --> 01:00:46,877 YOU KNOW, LIKE WHEN LITTLE GIRLS CARRY PURSES. 1178 01:00:46,911 --> 01:00:48,412 WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 1179 01:00:48,445 --> 01:00:49,446 SHIRIN. 1180 01:00:49,479 --> 01:00:51,115 SHIRIN. 1181 01:00:51,148 --> 01:00:52,750 YOU ARE A WOMAN, AND YOU HAVE BREASTS, 1182 01:00:52,783 --> 01:00:54,251 AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM. 1183 01:00:54,284 --> 01:00:56,954 YEAH, I KNOW. [CHUCKLES] 1184 01:00:56,987 --> 01:00:58,422 YOU DESERVE A SEXY, SUPPORTIVE BRA, 1185 01:00:58,455 --> 01:00:59,857 JUST LIKE ANY OTHER WOMAN. 1186 01:00:59,890 --> 01:01:01,992 OKAY. 1187 01:01:02,026 --> 01:01:03,694 YOU WERE WITH A WOMAN FOR HOW LONG, 1188 01:01:03,728 --> 01:01:05,295 AND SHE DIDN'T HELP YOU FIND THE RIGHT BRA? 1189 01:01:05,329 --> 01:01:07,331 A WHILE. 1190 01:01:07,364 --> 01:01:09,299 WELL, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOUR EX-- WHAT'S HER NAME? 1191 01:01:09,333 --> 01:01:11,035 MAXINE. 1192 01:01:11,068 --> 01:01:13,337 SOUNDS LIKE MAXINE WAS DESTRUCTIVE TO YOUR PANTIES 1193 01:01:13,370 --> 01:01:15,339 AND YOUR SELF-ESTEEM. I'M SO SORRY. 1194 01:01:15,372 --> 01:01:16,941 IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY? 1195 01:01:16,974 --> 01:01:19,176 I'M FINE. I JU-- I JUST NEED UNDERWEAR. 1196 01:01:19,209 --> 01:01:20,811 JUST BECAUSE YOUR BREASTS ARE SMALL 1197 01:01:20,845 --> 01:01:22,346 DOESN'T MEAN THEY'RE NOT LEGITIMATE. 1198 01:01:22,379 --> 01:01:25,282 I KNOW. 1199 01:01:25,315 --> 01:01:27,718 IT'S OKAY TO BE ANGRY. OH, MY GOD. 1200 01:01:27,752 --> 01:01:30,087 LET'S TRY THAT ON. 1201 01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:32,857 YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE I DIDN'T THINK I DESERVED A BRA, 1202 01:01:32,890 --> 01:01:35,425 BECAUSE I DON'T SEE MYSELF AS A REAL WOMAN. 1203 01:01:35,459 --> 01:01:37,361 IT'S ABOUT MORE THAN JUST FABRIC. 1204 01:01:37,394 --> 01:01:39,730 YEAH, AND I'VE BEEN WEARING BIKINI BOTTOMS FOR MONTHS. 1205 01:01:39,764 --> 01:01:41,431 WELL, THAT'S BASICALLY INVITING PEOPLE 1206 01:01:41,465 --> 01:01:43,367 WHO DON'T RESPECT YOU INTO YOUR BEDROOM. 1207 01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:45,369 THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I DID, AND NOW I'M LIKE SEEING HER 1208 01:01:45,402 --> 01:01:47,004 AT A PARTY ON SATURDAY, 1209 01:01:47,037 --> 01:01:48,973 AND HOW DO I EXPECT ANYONE TO TAKE ME SERIOUSLY 1210 01:01:49,006 --> 01:01:50,474 IF I AM NOT WEARING A BRA? 1211 01:01:50,507 --> 01:01:51,876 I TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY. 1212 01:01:51,909 --> 01:01:53,343 THAT DOESN'T COUNT. 1213 01:01:56,847 --> 01:01:58,883 [SIGHS] 1214 01:02:18,435 --> 01:02:20,737 STUNNING. 1215 01:02:35,853 --> 01:02:38,055 GOD, I HATE YOUR FRIENDS. 1216 01:02:38,088 --> 01:02:39,289 MY FRIENDS ARE MY FAMILY. 1217 01:02:39,323 --> 01:02:41,225 YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE, 1218 01:02:41,258 --> 01:02:42,993 TO HAVE TO CHOOSE YOUR OWN FAMILY BECAUSE THE ONE YOU WERE BORN INTO-- 1219 01:02:43,027 --> 01:02:45,896 OH, COME ON, ENOUGH OF THIS LESBIAN ORPHAN PROPAGANDA. 1220 01:02:45,930 --> 01:02:47,497 YOU KNOW, WE'RE ALL BORN INTO SHIT FAMILIES. 1221 01:02:47,531 --> 01:02:49,566 WE DEAL WITH IT. WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? 1222 01:02:49,599 --> 01:02:52,469 MY PROBLEM IS I HAVEN'T BEEN FUCKED IN LIKE THREE WEEKS. 1223 01:02:52,502 --> 01:02:54,338 I AM NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THIS ON MY BIRTHDAY. 1224 01:02:54,371 --> 01:02:55,973 ON YOUR BIRTHDAY? WHAT ARE YOU, EIGHT? 1225 01:02:56,006 --> 01:02:58,375 SO YOU HAPPENED TO BE BORN. BIG FUCKING DEAL. 1226 01:02:58,408 --> 01:03:00,444 OH, I'M SORRY, ALL ATTENTION MUST REVOLVE AROUND YOU 1227 01:03:00,477 --> 01:03:02,012 100% OF THE TIME. I FORGOT. 1228 01:03:02,046 --> 01:03:03,981 NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE. I'M NOT LIKE THAT. 1229 01:03:04,014 --> 01:03:06,817 I DON'T KNOW WHY I GET SO SHOCKED WHEN YOU DO SHIT LIKE THIS. 1230 01:03:06,851 --> 01:03:08,152 YOU'RE A GROWN WOMAN IN A CREEPY, 1231 01:03:08,185 --> 01:03:09,453 CO-DEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENTS. 1232 01:03:09,486 --> 01:03:11,889 IT'S TOTALLY NORMAL, AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA 1233 01:03:11,922 --> 01:03:13,523 WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT BECAUSE YOU COMPLETELY ABANDONED YOUR FAMILY. 1234 01:03:13,557 --> 01:03:15,292 IT WASN'T A CHOICE! 1235 01:03:15,325 --> 01:03:16,460 OF COURSE, IT'S A CHOICE! 1236 01:03:16,493 --> 01:03:18,128 SAYS THE CLOSET CASE! 1237 01:03:18,162 --> 01:03:20,097 THEY KNOW I KNOW THEY KNOW. 1238 01:03:20,130 --> 01:03:21,565 I'M WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME TO BRING IT UP, 1239 01:03:21,598 --> 01:03:23,167 OUT OF RESPECT FOR THEM. 1240 01:03:23,200 --> 01:03:25,169 I THINK YOU AND I SEE THE WORLD TOTALLY DIFFERENTLY. 1241 01:03:25,202 --> 01:03:27,404 WE DO. YOU KNOW, YOU THINK THAT I'M A BAD PERSON 1242 01:03:27,437 --> 01:03:28,973 BECAUSE I'M NOT COMING OUT ON YOUR TERMS, 1243 01:03:29,006 --> 01:03:30,207 AND I DON'T AGREE WITH THAT. 1244 01:03:30,240 --> 01:03:32,009 THAT IS NOT TRUE. I DIDN'T SAY THAT. 1245 01:03:32,042 --> 01:03:33,610 THAT'S TOTALLY TRUE. YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME. 1246 01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:35,212 I'M LISTENING TO YOU, AND EVERYTHING YOU'RE SAYING 1247 01:03:35,245 --> 01:03:36,981 IS PISSING ME OFF AND COMPLETELY INACCURATE. 1248 01:03:37,014 --> 01:03:38,615 YOU ARE RUINING MY BIRTHDAY. 1249 01:03:38,648 --> 01:03:40,284 YOU'RE RUINING MY TWENTIES. 1250 01:03:40,317 --> 01:03:42,152 I CAN'T-- 1251 01:03:42,186 --> 01:03:43,620 I DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE TO DEAL WITH YOU. 1252 01:03:43,653 --> 01:03:45,355 THAT'S FINE. LET'S BREAK UP. 1253 01:03:45,389 --> 01:03:48,625 FINE. 1254 01:03:48,658 --> 01:03:50,294 OKAY. 1255 01:03:58,335 --> 01:04:01,038 IF YOU'RE GONNA GO, JUST GO. YOU DON'T GET TO TAKE THINGS. 1256 01:04:02,472 --> 01:04:04,875 I GOT YOU THOSE PANTIES. 1257 01:04:12,582 --> 01:04:14,584 ABSOLUTELY NOT. FUCK YOU. 1258 01:04:14,618 --> 01:04:16,253 WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? 1259 01:04:16,286 --> 01:04:17,354 I GOT THESE FOR YOU. 1260 01:04:17,387 --> 01:04:19,089 YOU'RE A FUCKING CRAZY PERSON! 1261 01:04:19,123 --> 01:04:20,290 YOU WANT TO PLAY LIKE THIS? 1262 01:04:20,324 --> 01:04:22,226 DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS? OKAY. 1263 01:04:22,259 --> 01:04:24,161 I BOUGHT ALL THE BOOZE FOR THIS PARTY. 1264 01:04:24,194 --> 01:04:25,162 [GLASS SHATTERING] 1265 01:04:31,969 --> 01:04:33,637 ARE YOU HAPPY? IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED? 1266 01:04:33,670 --> 01:04:36,373 YOU KNOW WHAT-- DON'T BOTHER TELLING YOUR PARENTS ABOUT US. 1267 01:04:36,406 --> 01:04:38,675 I KNOW YOU, AND THE MORE THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, 1268 01:04:38,708 --> 01:04:40,144 THIS IS PROBABLY JUST A PHASE. 1269 01:04:44,281 --> 01:04:47,918 GOD, THIS WAS SUCH A WASTE. 1270 01:05:02,366 --> 01:05:04,301 [LOUD DANCE MUSIC PLAYING] 1271 01:05:04,334 --> 01:05:10,240 * 1272 01:05:20,250 --> 01:05:21,518 HEY. 1273 01:05:21,551 --> 01:05:23,320 HI. 1274 01:05:25,155 --> 01:05:27,557 NICE HAIR. THANKS. 1275 01:05:27,591 --> 01:05:29,593 THIS IS JON FRANCIS. 1276 01:05:29,626 --> 01:05:31,962 THIS IS MAXINE. 1277 01:05:31,996 --> 01:05:34,498 JON, SHOW HER YOUR CHEST TATTOO. 1278 01:05:34,531 --> 01:05:36,666 IT TOOK THEM FOUR HOURS TO DO IT. 1279 01:05:36,700 --> 01:05:38,668 IT'S A GIANT SQUID BITING A SPERM WHALE. 1280 01:05:38,702 --> 01:05:40,670 COOL. 1281 01:05:40,704 --> 01:05:42,106 HOW ARE YOU? 1282 01:05:42,139 --> 01:05:43,607 I'M OKAY. YOU? 1283 01:05:43,640 --> 01:05:45,042 GOOD. 1284 01:05:45,075 --> 01:05:46,443 YOU SHOULD MEET MY DATE. 1285 01:05:46,476 --> 01:05:48,678 WHERE IS SHE? 1286 01:05:48,712 --> 01:05:50,247 AT THE BAR, GETTING US DRINKS. 1287 01:05:50,280 --> 01:05:52,049 GREAT. SHE SOUNDS AWESOME. 1288 01:05:52,082 --> 01:05:54,518 SHE IS. 1289 01:05:54,551 --> 01:05:57,087 GOD, LOOK HOW THINGS WORKED OUT FOR BOTH OF US. 1290 01:05:57,121 --> 01:05:59,990 YOU HAVE YOUR LADY WHO FETCHES YOU DRINKS AT A BAR, 1291 01:06:00,024 --> 01:06:03,093 LIKE A MAID, AND I HAVE MY HUNKY REBEL WITH A CAUSE. 1292 01:06:03,127 --> 01:06:04,661 OH, WHAT'S THE CAUSE? 1293 01:06:04,694 --> 01:06:07,197 JON'S SPEARHEADING A CAMPAIGN TO BRIDGE THE GAPS 1294 01:06:07,231 --> 01:06:10,200 OF GENTRIFICATION IN BROOKLYN THROUGH MASS KOMBUCHA BREWING. 1295 01:06:10,234 --> 01:06:12,136 THAT'S NOT A THING. [CHUCKLES] 1296 01:06:12,169 --> 01:06:13,770 YEAH, WE'RE GONNA GO DANCE NOW. 1297 01:06:13,803 --> 01:06:16,240 JON'S KNOWN ALL OVER BUSHWICK FOR HIS VOGUEING. 1298 01:06:16,273 --> 01:06:18,542 WHAT A COINCIDENCE. T's AN AMAZING DANCER. 1299 01:06:18,575 --> 01:06:20,244 OH, IS SHE? YEAH. 1300 01:06:20,277 --> 01:06:22,179 SHE GOES TO HER WEST AFRICAN DANCE CLASS RELIGIOUSLY. 1301 01:06:22,212 --> 01:06:24,014 IS SHE BLACK? 1302 01:06:24,048 --> 01:06:27,351 NO. SHE SOUNDS AWESOME. 1303 01:06:27,384 --> 01:06:28,718 SHE IS. 1304 01:06:28,752 --> 01:06:34,658 * 1305 01:06:51,408 --> 01:06:54,511 * THIS CLUB THING'S NOT FOR ME * 1306 01:06:54,544 --> 01:06:58,482 * YOU SEE I LEFT MY LOVER AS YOU CAN SEE * 1307 01:06:58,515 --> 01:07:01,818 * BUT THIS CLUB THING'S NOT FOR ME * 1308 01:07:01,851 --> 01:07:05,589 * I WANNA PUT MY MUSIC ON TV * 1309 01:07:05,622 --> 01:07:09,293 * I WANNA PUT MY MUSIC ON THE STREETS * 1310 01:07:09,326 --> 01:07:12,462 * OR AT LEAST HAVE COMPANY 1311 01:07:12,496 --> 01:07:17,467 * 1312 01:07:17,501 --> 01:07:19,069 TIBET? 1313 01:07:19,103 --> 01:07:20,404 HEY, SHIRIN. 1314 01:07:20,437 --> 01:07:22,139 THIS IS YOUR DATE? 1315 01:07:22,172 --> 01:07:23,307 YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER? 1316 01:07:23,340 --> 01:07:25,742 YEAH, WE WORK TOGETHER. 1317 01:07:25,775 --> 01:07:27,377 TIBET, THIS IS JON FRANCIS. 1318 01:07:27,411 --> 01:07:29,713 JON, SHOW HER YOUR CHEST TATTOO. 1319 01:07:29,746 --> 01:07:31,848 UH, TIBET'S A FORMER HAIR MODEL. 1320 01:07:31,881 --> 01:07:33,483 YEAH, I HEARD. [CHUCKLES] 1321 01:07:33,517 --> 01:07:36,353 MAXINE AND I USED TO DATE. CAN YOU IMAGINE? 1322 01:07:36,386 --> 01:07:38,355 NOPE. WHY NOT? 1323 01:07:38,388 --> 01:07:40,557 I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT. FUCK YOU. 1324 01:07:40,590 --> 01:07:42,426 WHOA, THAT IS UNCALLED FOR! 1325 01:07:42,459 --> 01:07:43,693 YOUR HAIR IS UNCALLED FOR. 1326 01:07:43,727 --> 01:07:45,229 [JON] BABY, LET'S GO GET HIGH. 1327 01:07:45,262 --> 01:07:48,165 I DON'T WANT TO GET HIGH. WHATEVER. 1328 01:07:48,198 --> 01:07:51,568 WHAT IS UP WITH YOUR PASSIVE DISINTEREST IN EVERYTHING? 1329 01:07:51,601 --> 01:07:53,570 SERIOUSLY, WHAT HAPPENED AT WESLEYAN 1330 01:07:53,603 --> 01:07:55,105 THAT DID THIS TO YOU? 1331 01:07:55,139 --> 01:07:56,506 MAXINE, MAYBE WE SHOULD GO. 1332 01:07:56,540 --> 01:07:58,175 OH, SHUT UP, TIBET. 1333 01:07:58,208 --> 01:07:59,543 NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY. 1334 01:07:59,576 --> 01:08:01,411 YOU HAVE THE SEX APPEAL OF A FERRET. 1335 01:08:15,525 --> 01:08:17,461 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 1336 01:08:17,494 --> 01:08:18,795 I'M IN HERE. 1337 01:08:18,828 --> 01:08:20,230 IT'S MAXINE. 1338 01:08:20,264 --> 01:08:22,232 GO AWAY. 1339 01:08:32,776 --> 01:08:36,313 THE DOOR WAS UNLOCKED. 1340 01:08:36,346 --> 01:08:38,215 I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU COULD TRY TO REPLACE ME 1341 01:08:38,248 --> 01:08:40,350 WITH THAT FETUS. 1342 01:08:40,384 --> 01:08:42,686 I'M NOT TRYING TO REPLACE YOU. 1343 01:08:50,660 --> 01:08:52,429 I HATE JON. 1344 01:08:52,462 --> 01:08:54,164 I KNOW. 1345 01:08:55,932 --> 01:08:58,735 TAKE A CAB HOME. 1346 01:08:58,768 --> 01:09:00,704 YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY. 1347 01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:19,623 [KIDS LAUGHING, SHOUTING] 1348 01:09:21,558 --> 01:09:22,959 ALL RIGHT, OKAY, 1349 01:09:22,992 --> 01:09:25,562 EVERYBODY PLEASE COME SIT. I HAVE A FILM. 1350 01:09:25,595 --> 01:09:27,797 EVERYBODY STOP PLAYING 1351 01:09:27,831 --> 01:09:30,934 AND COME WATCH THE MOVIE. 1352 01:09:30,967 --> 01:09:32,802 ALRIGHT, SO THIS IS ONE OF THE FIRST FILMS 1353 01:09:32,836 --> 01:09:33,970 THAT WAS EVER MADE FOR AUDI-- 1354 01:09:34,003 --> 01:09:37,441 IT'S NOT APPROPRIATE FOR OUR AGE. 1355 01:09:37,474 --> 01:09:38,808 WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE LIKE THAT? 1356 01:09:38,842 --> 01:09:40,444 [GIRL] WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? 1357 01:09:40,477 --> 01:09:43,280 KUJO, GROUCHO, WHY ARE YOU NOT SITTING HERE? 1358 01:09:43,313 --> 01:09:44,514 I'M SCREENING A FILM. 1359 01:09:44,548 --> 01:09:46,850 [KIDS CONTINUE PLAYING] 1360 01:09:46,883 --> 01:09:49,286 WE'RE WATCHING A MOVIE. 1361 01:09:49,319 --> 01:09:50,620 YES! NO, I WANT YOU RIGHT HERE. 1362 01:09:52,756 --> 01:09:55,825 WHAT HAPPENED? OKAY... 1363 01:09:55,859 --> 01:09:58,295 DO WE GOTTA CLEAN ALL THAT UP? 1364 01:10:08,638 --> 01:10:11,241 THERE'S TOO MUCH. 1365 01:10:11,275 --> 01:10:12,909 HEY, GUYS. LEAVE IT. 1366 01:10:12,942 --> 01:10:15,845 JUST LEAVE IT. 1367 01:10:15,879 --> 01:10:17,414 NEW PLAN. 1368 01:10:17,447 --> 01:10:19,983 I SAY FORGET THE STOP MOTION. 1369 01:10:20,016 --> 01:10:22,352 WHAT MOVIE DO YOU GUYS WANT TO MAKE? 1370 01:10:22,386 --> 01:10:24,621 I WANT TO MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT FARTS. 1371 01:10:24,654 --> 01:10:26,323 ALRIGHT, GREAT. LET'S DO IT. 1372 01:10:26,356 --> 01:10:27,557 FARTS. ZOMBIES! 1373 01:10:27,591 --> 01:10:29,826 ZOMBIES? AWESOME. 1374 01:10:29,859 --> 01:10:30,960 BOOGERS! 1375 01:10:33,697 --> 01:10:34,764 WHAT ELSE HAVE WE GOT? IT'S A GOOD START. 1376 01:10:34,798 --> 01:10:35,765 WHAT ELSE DO WE HAVE HERE? 1377 01:10:35,799 --> 01:10:38,468 I WANT BOOGERS IN MY MOVIE. 1378 01:10:38,502 --> 01:10:40,270 BOOGERS. THERE WE GO. 1379 01:10:40,304 --> 01:10:42,038 BUTTS. BUTTS. 1380 01:10:42,071 --> 01:10:44,007 YOU GUYS ARE IN THE ZONE. KEEP IT FLOWING. 1381 01:10:44,040 --> 01:10:45,842 NAKED NINJAS! 1382 01:10:45,875 --> 01:10:47,811 I'M NOT A ZOMBIE. I'M JUST A BOY. 1383 01:10:47,844 --> 01:10:49,779 BUT YOU'RE MAKING THE ZOMBIE MASK. 1384 01:10:49,813 --> 01:10:51,448 IT DOESN'T MATTER IF IT'S YOUR CHARACTER. 1385 01:10:51,481 --> 01:10:52,716 YOU'RE JUST MAKING IT UP. 1386 01:10:52,749 --> 01:10:54,651 CAN IT HAVE MORE EYES THAN TWO? 1387 01:10:54,684 --> 01:10:55,885 YES. 1388 01:10:55,919 --> 01:10:57,354 ZOMBIES HAVE AS MANY EYES 1389 01:10:57,387 --> 01:11:00,324 AS YOU WANT THEM TO HAVE. 1390 01:11:00,357 --> 01:11:03,393 [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] 1391 01:11:15,405 --> 01:11:17,907 [ZOMBIE FLATULENCE] 1392 01:11:27,451 --> 01:11:29,285 [FLATULENCE] 1393 01:11:33,823 --> 01:11:36,626 WELCOME TO THE "BROOKLYN KIDZ MOOVIE MAKER, 1394 01:11:36,660 --> 01:11:38,728 FINAL SCREENING." 1395 01:11:38,762 --> 01:11:41,465 FIRST WE SCREEN THE ADVANCED CLASS, 1396 01:11:41,498 --> 01:11:43,967 AND THE NON-ADVANCED CLASS. 1397 01:11:44,000 --> 01:11:45,435 THANK YOU FOR COMING. 1398 01:11:45,469 --> 01:11:48,104 [APPLAUSE] 1399 01:11:48,137 --> 01:11:50,507 I WROTE THAT SPEECH. 1400 01:11:54,744 --> 01:11:58,982 * 1401 01:12:02,619 --> 01:12:08,592 * 1402 01:12:50,534 --> 01:12:52,035 [APPLAUSE] 1403 01:13:05,449 --> 01:13:07,951 [LIVELY PIANO MUSIC] 1404 01:13:07,984 --> 01:13:10,887 [FLATULENCE] 1405 01:13:14,691 --> 01:13:16,926 I LOVE FARTING. 1406 01:13:16,960 --> 01:13:19,629 [FLATULENCE] 1407 01:13:19,663 --> 01:13:22,766 [FLATULENCE CONTINUES] 1408 01:13:29,473 --> 01:13:31,508 [GROWLING] 1409 01:13:34,243 --> 01:13:35,845 [MONSTERS GROWLING] 1410 01:13:35,879 --> 01:13:42,752 * 1411 01:13:52,095 --> 01:13:54,598 I CAN'T FART. 1412 01:13:56,900 --> 01:13:59,202 [FLATULENCE] 1413 01:13:59,235 --> 01:14:01,104 [KIDS LAUGH] 1414 01:14:01,137 --> 01:14:03,172 [APPLAUSE] 1415 01:14:09,713 --> 01:14:11,848 OH, YOU GUYS. 1416 01:14:11,881 --> 01:14:14,818 THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 1417 01:14:14,851 --> 01:14:16,019 [GIRL] YOU'RE WELCOME. 1418 01:14:16,052 --> 01:14:17,721 YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST. 1419 01:14:17,754 --> 01:14:20,123 [SIGHS] THANK YOU. 1420 01:14:20,156 --> 01:14:21,491 THANK YOU. 1421 01:14:26,162 --> 01:14:28,197 SHIRIN. HI, KEN. 1422 01:14:28,231 --> 01:14:30,567 SO, THAT WAS... 1423 01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:32,268 DISGUSTING. I'M SO SORRY. 1424 01:14:32,301 --> 01:14:34,270 ACTUALLY, I THOUGHT IT WAS HILARIOUS. 1425 01:14:34,303 --> 01:14:36,840 SERIOUSLY? 1426 01:14:36,873 --> 01:14:39,776 YEAH. I WAS CRACKIN' UP. 1427 01:14:39,809 --> 01:14:41,578 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SAYING THAT. YEAH. 1428 01:14:41,611 --> 01:14:43,146 LET'S FACE IT, FARTS ARE FUNNY. 1429 01:14:43,179 --> 01:14:45,214 I AGREE. FARTS ARE FUNNY. 1430 01:14:45,248 --> 01:14:46,883 THANK YOU. 1431 01:14:59,663 --> 01:15:01,531 HAVE YOU SEEN CARRINGTON? 1432 01:15:19,716 --> 01:15:22,051 HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 1433 01:15:22,085 --> 01:15:25,589 HIDING. 1434 01:15:25,622 --> 01:15:28,658 I'M SORRY I'VE BEEN SUCH A DICK ABOUT LAYLI. 1435 01:15:28,692 --> 01:15:29,959 AW, COME ON, FORGET IT. 1436 01:15:29,993 --> 01:15:31,561 COME ON, LET'S GO INSIDE. 1437 01:15:31,595 --> 01:15:37,967 MY OLD ROOMMATE MAXINE AND I WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP. 1438 01:15:38,001 --> 01:15:41,304 AH, SO YOU'RE A LESBIAN. 1439 01:15:41,337 --> 01:15:43,172 I WAS PRETTY INTO ALL THE GUYS I WAS WITH, 1440 01:15:43,206 --> 01:15:46,943 SO I THINK I'M BISEXUAL. 1441 01:15:46,976 --> 01:15:50,246 AND THAT'S A THING? 1442 01:15:50,279 --> 01:15:52,081 I'M AFRAID SO. 1443 01:15:52,115 --> 01:15:55,251 ALL RIGHT. 1444 01:15:55,284 --> 01:15:56,953 HOW DO YOU THINK MOM AND DAD ARE GONNA TAKE IT? 1445 01:15:56,986 --> 01:16:00,223 OH, YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL THEM NOW THAT IT'S OVER. 1446 01:16:00,256 --> 01:16:03,026 SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY BIG THING TO NOT BE HONEST ABOUT. 1447 01:16:03,059 --> 01:16:04,994 FINE. 1448 01:16:05,028 --> 01:16:07,130 JUST UH, WAIT UNTIL AFTER THE WEDDING, ALRIGHT? 1449 01:16:07,163 --> 01:16:08,865 [LAUGHS] 1450 01:16:08,898 --> 01:16:10,767 YOU ARE SUCH A DICK. 1451 01:16:10,800 --> 01:16:13,002 WELL, AT LEAST I'M NOT A SEXUALLY CONFUSED NARCISSIST. 1452 01:16:13,036 --> 01:16:14,203 CAN WE PLEASE GO INSIDE? 1453 01:16:14,237 --> 01:16:16,706 HEY, CAN I BE YOUR BEST MAN? 1454 01:16:16,740 --> 01:16:18,608 NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT. 1455 01:16:18,642 --> 01:16:20,276 [LAUGHS] 1456 01:16:20,309 --> 01:16:21,911 * 1457 01:16:23,312 --> 01:16:26,215 I ATE BEFORE I CAME. 1458 01:16:32,055 --> 01:16:33,690 OW, FUCK! 1459 01:16:34,791 --> 01:16:36,826 OW! SHIT. 1460 01:16:36,860 --> 01:16:39,362 [EXHALES] 1461 01:16:48,972 --> 01:16:50,940 I'M SORRY I RUINED YOUR SCARF. 1462 01:16:50,974 --> 01:16:52,275 [NATIVE LANGUAGE] 1463 01:17:08,257 --> 01:17:11,895 MOM, I'M A LITTLE BIT GAY. 1464 01:17:16,966 --> 01:17:18,735 YES, I AM. 1465 01:17:18,768 --> 01:17:21,404 AND I WAS IN LOVE WITH MAXINE. 1466 01:17:21,437 --> 01:17:23,807 SHH. 1467 01:17:43,359 --> 01:17:45,962 * 1468 01:18:43,286 --> 01:18:45,421 SHIRIN, ARE YOU OKAY? 1469 01:18:45,454 --> 01:18:49,425 I'M OKAY. 1470 01:18:54,463 --> 01:18:55,498 [SIGHS] 1471 01:18:55,531 --> 01:18:58,001 STOP BREATHING SO LOUD. 1472 01:19:01,805 --> 01:19:03,439 OKAY. 1473 01:19:46,149 --> 01:19:47,550 HAS YOUR MOM MENTIONED IT? 1474 01:19:47,583 --> 01:19:49,418 NO. 1475 01:19:49,452 --> 01:19:51,420 MAYBE SHE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEANT. 1476 01:19:51,454 --> 01:19:53,422 NO, SHE KNOWS FOR SURE WHAT'S UP. 1477 01:19:53,456 --> 01:19:57,260 I'M GONNA BRING IT UP IN ABOUT A MONTH. 1478 01:19:57,293 --> 01:19:58,928 I'M PROUD OF YOU. 1479 01:19:58,962 --> 01:20:00,363 THANKS. 1480 01:20:00,396 --> 01:20:02,298 THERE'S A PARTY AT THE LOFT ON SATURDAY. 1481 01:20:02,331 --> 01:20:04,067 YOU SHOULD BRING THAT WAITER, BRENDAN. 1482 01:20:04,100 --> 01:20:06,903 UM, I WOULD, BUT I KINDA WANT TO SEE IF JACQUES 1483 01:20:06,936 --> 01:20:08,237 AND FELICIA TRY TO SEDUCE ME. 1484 01:20:08,271 --> 01:20:09,973 IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN. 1485 01:20:10,006 --> 01:20:11,240 I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU THINK THEY'RE SWINGERS. 1486 01:20:11,274 --> 01:20:12,575 I JUST GET THAT VIBE. 1487 01:20:12,608 --> 01:20:15,111 YOU SHOULD INVITE THAT GAY LAWYER. 1488 01:20:15,144 --> 01:20:16,345 DID YOU GUYS TOUCH TONGUES? 1489 01:20:16,379 --> 01:20:17,546 NO, WE DIDN'T, 1490 01:20:17,580 --> 01:20:19,315 AND IT ACTUALLY HURT MY FEELINGS. 1491 01:20:19,348 --> 01:20:21,284 NO, YOU KNOW, THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD 1492 01:20:21,317 --> 01:20:23,252 WHO GO ON FIRST DATES THAT ARE PERFECTLY GREAT, 1493 01:20:23,286 --> 01:20:25,154 AND THEN THEY WAIT A WHILE BEFORE THEY ENGAGE 1494 01:20:25,188 --> 01:20:26,322 IN SEXUAL CONTACT. 1495 01:20:26,355 --> 01:20:27,891 THAT'S DISGUSTING. 1496 01:20:27,924 --> 01:20:32,328 I KNOW, I THINK IT ALL HAPPENS OUTSIDE OF NEW YORK. 1497 01:20:32,361 --> 01:20:34,097 MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. 1498 01:21:02,458 --> 01:21:04,894 * 1499 01:21:15,338 --> 01:21:17,907 WHEN HE TEXTS ME, IT'S LIKE HE ONLY TEXTS ME 1500 01:21:17,941 --> 01:21:19,108 USING EMOTICONS. 1501 01:21:19,142 --> 01:21:20,276 WHY CAN'T YOU USE YOUR WORDS? 1502 01:21:20,309 --> 01:21:21,577 DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 1503 01:21:21,610 --> 01:21:25,381 I THINK THAT HE THINKS THAT THAT IS LIKE CUTE. 1504 01:21:25,414 --> 01:21:27,650 I AND LIKE... 1505 01:21:41,965 --> 01:21:44,333 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 1506 01:22:00,116 --> 01:22:04,387 * YOU DIDN'T KNOW 1507 01:22:04,420 --> 01:22:08,024 * WHERE TO GO 1508 01:22:08,057 --> 01:22:14,630 * WALKING AROUND IN THIS FLAG-WAVING TOWN * 1509 01:22:14,663 --> 01:22:21,404 * I SAW YOU WAITING FOR A TRAIN * 1510 01:22:21,437 --> 01:22:25,274 * AND YOU DISAPPEARED 1511 01:22:25,308 --> 01:22:29,412 * YOUR FACE PRESSED UP TO THE WINDOW * 1512 01:22:43,259 --> 01:22:49,532 * YOU WENT SO FAR AWAY 1513 01:22:49,565 --> 01:22:53,569 * AND I WANT TO COME THERE TOO * 1514 01:22:53,602 --> 01:22:57,373 * I WANT TO BE WITH YOU 1515 01:22:57,406 --> 01:23:04,347 * I'M JUST WAITING UNTIL YOU SAY THESE WORDS * 1516 01:23:04,380 --> 01:23:08,217 * COME BACK, COME BACK, 1517 01:23:08,251 --> 01:23:12,221 * COME BACK, OH, TO ME * 1518 01:23:14,090 --> 01:23:18,594 * I'M LIVING NEAR GDANSK 1519 01:23:18,627 --> 01:23:21,697 * THERE'S A TRAIN, YOU'D BE HERE SOON * 1520 01:23:21,730 --> 01:23:25,634 * THERE'S A LIFE FOR ME AND YOU * 1521 01:23:25,668 --> 01:23:32,075 * THE EAST MEANS SO MANY THINGS * 1522 01:23:32,108 --> 01:23:36,112 * BUT IT COULD BE HOME, IT COULD BE HOME * 1523 01:23:36,145 --> 01:23:38,047 * IT COULD BE HOME 1524 01:23:38,081 --> 01:23:44,620 * IT COULD BE HOME FOR YOU AND ME * 1525 01:23:46,489 --> 01:23:49,358 [VOCALIZING] 1526 01:23:53,562 --> 01:23:56,699 * IT COULD BE HOME, IT COULD BE HOME * 1527 01:23:56,732 --> 01:24:00,236 * IT COULD BE HOME, IT COULD BE HOME * 1528 01:24:00,269 --> 01:24:03,572 * COME BACK, COME BACK 1529 01:24:03,606 --> 01:24:08,744 * COME BACK, OH, TO ME * 1530 01:24:29,265 --> 01:24:36,305 * AND IF YOU'D EVER SAY THOSE WORDS * 1531 01:24:36,339 --> 01:24:38,607 * I'D COME TO YOU 1532 01:24:38,641 --> 01:24:40,243 * WHERE YOU ARE 1533 01:24:40,276 --> 01:24:43,379 * IT'S TOO HARD TO BE APART 1534 01:24:43,412 --> 01:24:50,519 * THE EAST'S NOT SO FAR AWAY * 1535 01:24:50,553 --> 01:24:52,288 * BUT IT COULD BE HOME 1536 01:24:52,321 --> 01:24:55,458 * IT COULD BE HOME, IT COULD BE HOME * 1537 01:24:55,491 --> 01:25:01,664 * IT COULD BE HOME FOR YOU AND ME * 1538 01:25:04,167 --> 01:25:07,636 [VOCALIZING] 1539 01:25:11,240 --> 01:25:14,410 * IT COULD BE HOME, IT COULD BE HOME * 1540 01:25:14,443 --> 01:25:17,780 * IT COULD BE HOME, IT COULD BE HOME * 1541 01:25:17,813 --> 01:25:21,384 * COME BACK, COME BACK 1542 01:25:21,417 --> 01:25:26,755 * COME BACK OH, TO ME * 97889