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1
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:08,176
ANNOUNCER: The Assassination
of Gianni Versace.
2
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:10,711
Premieres Wednesday,
January 17 on FX.
3
00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:16,717
FXX presents You're the Worst.
4
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,020
(ukulele playing)
5
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:36,570
Senor, your trasheritas
are ready.
6
00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:40,641
(sniffs)
7
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,877
(seagulls squawking)
8
00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:48,949
Redonk.
9
00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:52,620
We did it, dipshit.
10
00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:54,021
Casa Vernon y Paul
11
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,224
is finally reality.
12
00:00:57,625 --> 00:00:58,926
(woman's voice):
Dr. Barbara?
13
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,131
(beeps electronically)
14
00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:07,168
Oh, shit.
15
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:18,612
(beeps electronically)
16
00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:20,148
What heaven is this?
17
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:23,117
It's here. But it's also home.
18
00:01:23,151 --> 00:01:24,652
-But...
-(beeps)
19
00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:33,561
*
20
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,563
(woman's voice):
Doctor. Dr. Barbara!
21
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:36,564
Dear God!
22
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,299
-(sustained beep)
-Wait.
23
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:40,334
-I-I need a second.
This is wrong. -WOMAN: Wake up.
24
00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:42,170
-I don't understand what's
happening. -WOMAN: Wake up!
25
00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:43,504
Wait a second!
26
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:45,473
-What's happening?!
-WOMAN: Wake up!
27
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:47,575
(heart monitor flatlining)
28
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:50,244
-Doctor! What did you do?
-MAN (over PA): Code Blue
29
00:01:50,278 --> 00:01:51,945
-in OR three.
-WOMAN: Get Cheryl on the phone.
30
00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:54,114
-VERNON: No. No. No, no, no.
-Get another tray in here.
31
00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:55,683
-Below 90 and dropping.
-No. No. No!
32
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,651
-Move it, now. -Get gloves.
-Code Blue in OR three.
33
00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:59,453
NURSE: Get Dr. Weiss
in here immediately.
34
00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:01,054
We're losing her!
35
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:09,029
* I'm gonna leave you anyway *
36
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:12,099
* I'm gonna leave you
anyway *
37
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,501
* Gonna leave you anyway. *
38
00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:29,983
*
39
00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:39,660
Whoa.
40
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,495
Who burned your hot rod?
41
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,565
Fancy a drive?
42
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:06,287
Mmm.
43
00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:10,090
Mmm. Good job, player.
44
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:11,392
Walk of shame.
45
00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:13,160
Macking on skeezoids
46
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,263
-all night.
-I macked on zero skeezoids.
47
00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:17,765
Doug made me the on-set writer.
48
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:20,100
You got a promotion.
49
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,769
-That's great. -(scoffs)
Yeah, that's what I thought,
50
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:24,171
but turns out set
is a nightmare.
51
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,174
I tried to give Paul F. Tompkins
a note, and he threw
52
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,709
a Caesar wrap at my head.
53
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,177
Farts. Sorry, bud.
54
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,945
They make you eat lunch
in the middle of the night.
55
00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:34,448
Some crew guy
kept telling me rape jokes.
56
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:36,850
Do you think I was sent there
57
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,419
as some sort of punishment?
58
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:40,721
-Well...
-(ringtone plays)
59
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,356
Paul keeps calling me.
60
00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:44,725
-Can you make him stop?
-No.
61
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,394
He's kind of scary these days.
62
00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:49,096
He's got a tattoo
of a cartoon frog on his thigh.
63
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:51,865
There's nothing tougher
than that.
64
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,901
Where's Jimmy?!
65
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,303
(panting)
66
00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:56,537
Why do you look like a tampon?
67
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,038
I messed up so bad, you guys.
68
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,207
I zoinked out
and nicked an artery.
69
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,476
-I never should've operated.
-Vernon, you need to go home.
70
00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:04,044
I can't go home.
71
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:07,214
The hospital cops
are staking it out, fo' sho!
72
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,049
Plus, Becca will murder me dead.
73
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:12,453
(yawning):
I got to rest my eyes.
74
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:14,254
Linds, by the way,
75
00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:17,458
your bazingers
are straight up b...
76
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:38,312
*
77
00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:52,960
I never asked you
how you got this car.
78
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,027
Didn't you?
79
00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:55,162
(chuckles):
I got it from...
80
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:58,699
No. I don't want to know now.
81
00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:01,369
Well, you didn't ask
because you didn't want to know?
82
00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:03,704
I had other things on my mind.
83
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,706
* So, tell me,
what should I be dreaming of? *
84
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:08,342
I liked telling you
everything, though.
85
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,312
Me, too.
86
00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:14,548
You ruined that.
87
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:22,322
* Who's gonna love you now? *
88
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,962
Look, a tunnel.
89
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,664
Ooh, let's hold our breath
and make a wish.
90
00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:32,032
No, thanks.
91
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:33,367
I know what I'm wishing for.
92
00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:35,636
(Gretchen inhales)
93
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,138
* Sayin' yeah *
94
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,040
* Can't you hear
the solar system *
95
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,175
-* Sayin' yeah *
-(brakes squeak)
96
00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:44,745
-* Can't you feel
the solar system... * -Ah.
97
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,748
Oh. Eh.
98
00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:50,183
(laughs)
99
00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:52,653
* Sayin' yeah *
100
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,054
* Can't you hear
the solar system *
101
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,823
* Sayin' yeah *
102
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:59,092
* Can't you feel
the solar system sayin' yeah. *
103
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,995
(exhales)
104
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,564
(laughs)
105
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,933
(phone chimes)
106
00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:10,337
LINDSAY (over phone): Vernon
showed up covered in blood.
107
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,939
I think he did
something really bad.
108
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,607
Vernon finally did it!
109
00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:15,275
(laughs) What?
110
00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:17,511
I had, like, March of next year.
111
00:06:17,545 --> 00:06:18,746
What did you have again?
112
00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:20,948
-October this year.
-Ah.
113
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:23,451
-Damn it. You won.
-(phone chimes)
114
00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:24,885
LINDSAY (over phone):
Becca won't pick up.
115
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:26,186
She's probably drunk
with Walter.
116
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,788
-Help.
-False alarm.
117
00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:29,089
Becca's alive.
118
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,559
(typing on phone)
119
00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:33,293
Take me to my car?
120
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:35,028
(sighs)
121
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,764
I'll drive you there.
122
00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:38,098
Sounds like the Barbara clan
123
00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:40,100
have finally
Chernobyl'd themselves.
124
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:42,570
I need to witness the fallout
in IMAX.
125
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:44,271
(over phone):
This is Becca.
126
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:46,306
Leave a message.
And if this is Liquor Barn,
127
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:48,742
I hereby authorize you to leave
the wine on the front porch.
128
00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:49,810
I am over 25...
129
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:52,245
-barely.
-(line beeps)
130
00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:54,214
Bec, it's me. Pick up.
131
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,884
Pick up. Pick up.
132
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,487
-Not how voice mail works.
-Pick up, pick up.
133
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:04,091
Why is Jimmy driving us?
134
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,793
He wanted to help.
135
00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:09,162
Why didn't you leave town?
136
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:11,098
May be a change of plans.
137
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:12,900
-Just shush.
-(phone chimes)
138
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:16,336
She just texted me a picture
of her titties from some bar.
139
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,606
-Want to see?
-Seen them. -Show me.
140
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:20,240
DUTCH (over phone): It's a
lovely day at D.B. Industries.
141
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,341
This is Dutch.
142
00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:22,743
Dutch, it's Edgar. Put Doug on.
143
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,512
Doug's out of town.
Where you at?
144
00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:26,179
I was on set all night.
145
00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:27,615
(Dutch laughs)
146
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:29,416
* I want to wrap myself up *
147
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,585
* In your loving *
148
00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,320
BT dubs,
149
00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:35,455
-you're welcome.
-For what?
150
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:37,491
You. Jimmy.
151
00:07:37,525 --> 00:07:39,760
Hanging out all nice.
152
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,495
So what?
153
00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:45,265
Sew buttons. I made this happen.
154
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,167
I "grouched" Boone.
155
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,469
You hid in a trash can?
156
00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:51,805
-What did you say to him?
-I just suggested
157
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:54,775
he pump the brakes
on your relaish.
158
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:58,512
-Ow. -This is the worst thing
you have ever done to me!
159
00:07:58,546 --> 00:07:59,713
I did it for Olivia.
160
00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:01,549
You have no idea what you did.
161
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:03,450
BECCA:
Where are we going?
162
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,153
We're taking you
to your husband.
163
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:09,657
-No! No. No, no, no.
-Whoa.
164
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:13,627
-No. No. No. No.
-Come on. -Okay. Okay.
165
00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:15,228
No.
166
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:17,464
-No, no, no. No. Mmm.
-Easy.
167
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,367
Hey. You okay, sis?
168
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,469
N-No.
169
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:23,871
Why not?
170
00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:27,174
(coughs) I'm just not okay.
171
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:28,976
You can tell me.
172
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,911
I help people now.
173
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:33,146
When's the last time
you were happy?
174
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,182
Never.
175
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:39,687
When I was pregnant.
176
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,922
Ugh.
177
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:43,256
I'm gonna get a Lyft
178
00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:45,659
to the Palisades.
I need answers.
179
00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:47,828
Well, I'll drive you there
after we drop Becca off.
180
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,362
What's one more stop?
181
00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:53,200
BECCA (slurring):
What's happening?
182
00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:55,268
Uh, where are you taking her?!
183
00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:58,438
We still have credits
on Golden Tee.
184
00:08:58,471 --> 00:08:59,506
Walter!
185
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,241
Wait for me.
186
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,777
I love you!
187
00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:07,547
Becca!
188
00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:17,190
-LINDSAY: Vernon, wake up.
-VERNON: Whoa.
189
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:19,226
Did we finally knock boots?
190
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,261
How many times did I gaz?
191
00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:25,565
Oh, man!
You narced me out!
192
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,601
You fell asleep during surg?
193
00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:30,971
I was tossing a new hip into
old Fay Yoder and passed out.
194
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,640
I'm so tired, boo.
195
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:35,042
-Is she dead?
-I don't know, dummy.
196
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:37,645
I ran out of the hospital,
smashed my phone on a rock,
197
00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:39,780
and taped the SIM card
to a stray dog.
198
00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:42,449
I got no insurance.
199
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:43,984
What?!
200
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,418
I let my insurance lapse.
201
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:47,554
(gasps)
I'm calling the hospital.
202
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,556
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no!
203
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,791
Gi... Give me my phone!
204
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,292
No!
205
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,629
Here you are.
206
00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:56,997
What do you want, Paul?
207
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,666
I need a letter
of recommendation.
208
00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:00,768
The adoption agency
says I'll have a better chance
209
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,435
with a character witness.
210
00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:04,504
You're getting a baby?
211
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:05,939
I'm trying.
212
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:08,475
I was rejected from most
reputable agencies
213
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,277
because of my recent foray
214
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:12,680
into incendiary
political movements.
215
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:15,082
I didn't know
what they stood for.
216
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,284
I-I just thought they were
a bunch of guys who dressed well
217
00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:18,986
and felt picked on, too.
218
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,421
(sighs)
219
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:24,624
I just want someone to love
and take care of.
220
00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:26,026
But who am I kidding?
221
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,696
They'll never pick me.
222
00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:30,430
What are these texts to Walter?!
223
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,599
Why'd you write you want to
"suck the gay out of him
224
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,434
through his dick hole"?
225
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,103
Because I'm not happy!
226
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,005
VERNON:
You're not happy?
227
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:40,007
I'm not happy!
No one's happy!
228
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,441
-I'm not happy.
-Paul's not happy.
229
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,043
BECCA:
I don't care if Paul's happy.
230
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,277
(echoing): I'm talking about
whether I'm happy.
231
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:45,612
PAUL:
Yeah, but I'm not happy.
232
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,214
VERNON:
Who cares if you're happy?
233
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:49,049
-PAUL: I'm not happy.
-VERNON: I'm happy.
234
00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:50,884
-I'd like to be happy, too.
-BECCA: I was born special,
235
00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:53,053
and I was born deserving
happiness, and now look at me,
236
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:54,855
I'm miserable,
I'm married to you.
237
00:11:00,828 --> 00:11:02,629
I need to talk to Doug.
238
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,065
Sorry, man. He's meeting
with Raúl Castro and Al Franken
239
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:07,034
at the Ministerio del Interior.
240
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:09,402
Shit, I didn't tell you that.
241
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:11,138
I need someone to tell me
242
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,741
-what's going on.
-MAX: I can explain.
243
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,142
I'll leave you two alone.
244
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,178
I'll be in the float tank.
245
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:21,214
First we get split up,
then I get exiled to set,
246
00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:23,884
and now you're ducking my calls?
What did I do?
247
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:26,553
I-I mean, I don't, I don't mean
to be overdramatic and assume
248
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:28,889
-it's me or anything, but...
-No, it's you.
249
00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:31,524
I told Doug I don't
want to work with you anymore.
250
00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:32,926
You triggered me.
251
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,395
Telling me about
sad things and poor people--
252
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:36,930
why would you put that on me?
253
00:11:36,964 --> 00:11:38,598
I'm having trouble sleeping.
254
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:40,700
I have PTSD
from your war stories.
255
00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:44,704
I have PTSD from war.
256
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:46,439
You know, Max,
257
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,208
I'm starting to think
you're just some rich kid
258
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:50,944
-who's never had any adversity.
-It's totally true.
259
00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:52,679
The worst day of my life
was in eighth grade
260
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,581
when my dog Clarice
got hip dysplasia.
261
00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:55,949
Oh, no. Did she die?
262
00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:57,851
No, she's fine.
We got her a drone.
263
00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,853
Come on, girl.
264
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:02,722
(drone blades whirring)
265
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:07,060
-(whimpers)
-She's 20.
266
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:08,896
She can't see or hear you.
267
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,202
I thought I was ready
to get in the muck with you,
268
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:18,071
but it turns out I just want
to chill out with simple people
269
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:20,540
who don't make me sad,
like Dutch and Seth MacFarlane.
270
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,910
-(scoffs) -But you don't
deserve to be on set.
271
00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:25,412
Paul F. Tompkins
is a bad, bad man.
272
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:26,814
We were at a party once
in Venice,
273
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:28,681
and he stuffed a crow
into a dishwasher.
274
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:31,084
I'll get Doug to fix it.
275
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:33,753
Thanks.
276
00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:35,055
(sighs)
277
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,090
Okay, bye-bye.
278
00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:45,498
That looked bad.
279
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,467
Oh, no. I mean...
(chuckles)
280
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,903
Max can't be my friend
anymore, but...
281
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,471
he's a good guy.
282
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:53,773
Uh, no, he's not.
He's repulsive.
283
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:56,776
And not because he has
a 13-year-old's mustache
284
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:59,479
and calls Manhattans "hatties,"
285
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:02,515
but because he puts conditions
on your friendship.
286
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:06,753
I mean, I guess
it wouldn't be the worst thing
287
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,756
for my personal growth were I
to try to be more available
288
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,758
for your stories and whatnot.
289
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:15,462
Uh, at this point,
I think that might be too weird.
290
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:17,530
Okay. Phew.
291
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:19,466
You know...
292
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:22,302
maybe it's time
I be my own main dude.
293
00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:26,773
I'm gonna walk for a bit.
294
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,842
Good luck.
295
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,779
So, should I...
296
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,114
Should I take you back?
297
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,149
Not yet.
298
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,991
(seagulls squawking,
waves splashing)
299
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:54,968
It's cold A.F. out here.
300
00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:57,070
Oh, I have my flannel
in the car.
301
00:13:57,104 --> 00:13:59,206
-I'll get it for you.
-No!
302
00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:00,573
This time, I'll get it.
303
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:01,875
Oh...
304
00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:03,510
(chuckles): Yeah.
305
00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:08,949
*
306
00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:20,760
*
307
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,716
Hey.
308
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:56,129
I'm moving in with Boone.
309
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:06,406
(sighs)
Well...
310
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:08,608
that's good news, isn't it?
311
00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:10,910
Yeah, it is good.
312
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:14,481
We're down a road.
313
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:17,017
He has a kid.
She's cute.
314
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:20,954
Why?
315
00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:22,122
He asked.
316
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,792
He put himself out there.
317
00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:29,529
He said he wanted me,
and that means something.
318
00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:33,300
But you're leaving town, right?
319
00:15:34,801 --> 00:15:36,936
The bags in your trunk.
320
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,240
Yeah. Yeah.
321
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,475
Yeah, I'm moving to Cape Coral.
322
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,946
I heard you can swim
in Hemingway's pool.
323
00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:53,186
I just thought
I should say good-bye.
324
00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:58,525
I'm glad you did.
325
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,996
If it's possible,
326
00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:04,931
one day...
327
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,967
I'd still like
to know you, Gretchen.
328
00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:13,673
You know that's
never gonna happen.
329
00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:22,949
I know what needs to happen.
330
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,385
Paul, you are going to pay Becca
331
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,520
to surrogate your baby.
332
00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:30,323
(all laughing)
333
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:31,958
No.
334
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,793
-Lindsay, that's truly insane.
-He isn't.
335
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,529
Paul, you deserve
to have a family,
336
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:39,332
even if you have lesbian hair
and hate Thelma & Louise.
337
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:42,669
When two women take the law
into their own hands,
338
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,204
they're considered heroes.
339
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:46,239
But when Sheriff David Clarke...
340
00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:47,874
No! No.
341
00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:51,211
Becca, you guys
are going to need money
342
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:53,480
to cover the inevitable lawsuit.
343
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:57,217
Besides, you were
the happiest you've ever been
344
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,818
when you were pregnant.
345
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:02,355
Everyone gave me presents
and wanted to touch me.
346
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:03,990
Where am I going to get an ovum?
347
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,758
Just use mine, already.
348
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:09,729
Of course, that will
heavily increase my fee.
349
00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:11,231
Paul's got so much love in him.
350
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:13,700
He's not going away.
351
00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:15,768
Maybe now the Cottumaccio
family cycle
352
00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:17,770
will finally get broken.
353
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:20,273
Um, Tallulah is a great baby.
354
00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:21,841
-(clicks tongue) Mm...
-Eh...
355
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:22,875
I mean, is she?
356
00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:24,711
And Vernon?
357
00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:26,546
In. I'm in.
358
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:29,349
(Paul chuckles)
359
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,119
I guess I'll have my lawyers
draw up a contract. (laughs)
360
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:33,520
Just as long as I get to watch.
361
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,688
Ew! They do it in a lab.
362
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,023
To be discussed.
363
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,458
(phone chimes)
364
00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:51,371
I'm a helper.
365
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:54,507
Like that glove
that makes hamburgers.
366
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,082
(brakes squeaking)
367
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,090
I'm sorry I burned your car.
368
00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:20,933
(sniffles)
369
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:26,105
*
370
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:54,934
This guy hadn't even seen
a computer
371
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,503
till I introduced it to him.
372
00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:58,638
I think I should get
at least a million for that.
373
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:00,607
-(Whitney and Neil chuckle)
-BOONE: Babe!
374
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:01,874
We just cracked this Malbec.
You remember Whitney.
375
00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:04,777
-Oh... Hi!
-Hi! Whitney!
376
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,780
-Gretchen? How are you?
-So nice to see you, yet again,
377
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,882
-here, now.
-Yeah, of course.
378
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:14,654
Gretchen, will you help me with
my poster for science class?
379
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,656
Sure, kiddo.
Go get your crayons.
380
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:19,459
No flesh color, 'cause racism.
381
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:23,162
Neil was just telling us about
growing up with Mark Zuckerberg.
382
00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:24,697
NEIL: We invented this game
using bottle caps.
383
00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:26,199
And the next thing I know,
384
00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:28,067
he's published it
in the school paper,
385
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,503
with his name
as the only author.
386
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:32,138
I couldn't believe it.
387
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,674
To this day,
I have not joined Facebook.
388
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:36,476
-(grunts)
-(screams)
389
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,010
-Oh, shit!
-(Neil groans)
390
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:39,979
I'm sorry, Boone.
I had to do it.
391
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:43,483
That's not Boone!
That's Whitney's husband! Mm...
392
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,718
Uh... what is your name again?
393
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:47,354
-Neil!
-Neil, right.
394
00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:50,390
Wait, so is this the single mum
that you finger-bombed?
395
00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:52,725
What?! No!
396
00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:56,729
Is there anyone in this house
who hasn't fingered my wife?!
397
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:57,830
Olivia can hear you.
398
00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:00,166
I don't care! Olivia hates me!
399
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:03,270
I overheard her the other day
calling me Fatty McFartface.
400
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:06,038
Well, she is the fartface!
401
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:08,241
-Don't call my kid a fartface.
-(groans)
402
00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:11,043
You do not touch me ever again!
403
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:13,346
-Boone, I'm sorry...
-(grunting)
404
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:14,781
-(shouting)
-Oh, God.
405
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:17,584
-Get, get...
-Let go, Boone!
406
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:20,186
-Get off him! Now!
-(groans)
407
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,855
We're leaving! Screw all of you!
408
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,056
(whimpers)
409
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:28,127
(panting)
410
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:31,464
Gretchen, I know this man
represents acceptance
411
00:20:31,498 --> 00:20:35,702
and security and nights
binging prestige dramas,
412
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:38,104
but I couldn't live one more day
if I didn't at least fight
413
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:40,273
-for another chance...
-Hey! No.
414
00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:41,708
-Hmm?
-You're done, Jimmy.
415
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,876
No, no! Lay off!
The three months I spent away
416
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:48,214
from you made me realize exactly
what a terrible mistake I made!
417
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,717
You don't know how sorry I am!
I'm so sorry.
418
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,885
-(Boone grunts)
-No!
419
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:56,389
You don't get to apologize!
420
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:59,726
I didn't leave Lindsay's
shithole apartment for that
421
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:00,993
entire three months!
422
00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:03,796
I bought in,
423
00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:08,568
finally, after a lifetime
of being too goddamned scared,
424
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,503
and you punished me for it!
425
00:21:10,537 --> 00:21:13,239
Hey, hey, it's okay.
Stop. Just...
426
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,908
(panting) It just confirmed
what I have always known.
427
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:18,978
At the end of the day,
I'm unlovable.
428
00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:20,913
Fundamentally. Always have been.
429
00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:23,950
And you fell for me?
Joke is on you!
430
00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:25,952
Gretchen, no.
(stammers)
431
00:21:25,985 --> 00:21:29,956
My leaving had literally nothing
to do with you!
432
00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:32,859
I am tremendously messed up.
433
00:21:32,892 --> 00:21:35,795
(panting)
No, you left because I suck.
434
00:21:35,828 --> 00:21:38,498
I left because I suck.
435
00:21:38,531 --> 00:21:39,932
Do you really think
you're unlovable?
436
00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:41,834
JIMMY:
You are very lovable!
437
00:21:41,868 --> 00:21:43,836
Shut up. You are very lovable.
438
00:21:43,870 --> 00:21:47,507
Look, yes, I got scared.
But I have changed.
439
00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:50,510
I saw your bags packed
in your car.
440
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:53,145
Why would I be with someone
441
00:21:53,179 --> 00:21:56,182
who is always ready to bounce
when things get rough?
442
00:21:56,215 --> 00:21:59,452
See? Gretchen is happy here.
443
00:21:59,486 --> 00:22:03,656
I am a nice, successful,
stable person,
444
00:22:03,690 --> 00:22:06,626
and you're a bad guy
who left a girl on a hill.
445
00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:10,296
And you only asked me to move in
because Lindsay told you not to.
446
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:12,999
-No, I was going to anyway.
-Gretchen, please.
447
00:22:13,032 --> 00:22:15,034
-It's just, maybe not at
that time. -Every single day,
448
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:16,669
-I have met these people...
-But I was going to...
449
00:22:16,703 --> 00:22:18,705
Stop!
450
00:22:18,738 --> 00:22:20,707
Oh, my God.
451
00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:22,809
You guys are right.
452
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:25,978
My stupid parents made me feel
like I wasn't enough, so I
453
00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:28,681
wait around for someone
to tell me I'm worthy?
454
00:22:28,715 --> 00:22:31,250
That's insane.
455
00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:34,754
I don't want to do that anymore.
(panting)
456
00:22:34,787 --> 00:22:36,155
Guys, I'm sorry.
457
00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:39,726
I choose...
458
00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:43,730
(panting)
I choose...
459
00:22:43,763 --> 00:22:45,965
myself.
460
00:22:52,038 --> 00:22:54,441
*
461
00:22:57,444 --> 00:22:59,178
(door opens)
462
00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:00,780
(door closes)
463
00:23:03,082 --> 00:23:05,418
(sniffles)
464
00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:13,726
(engine starts)
465
00:23:19,432 --> 00:23:20,800
Jimmy! Jimmy!
466
00:23:20,833 --> 00:23:22,769
(brakes squeak)
467
00:23:31,611 --> 00:23:33,813
(exhales)
468
00:23:33,846 --> 00:23:35,748
Why?
469
00:23:35,782 --> 00:23:39,151
You fought for me.
470
00:23:39,185 --> 00:23:41,888
(sniffles) And, besides,
you looked so sad
471
00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:44,724
when I left, I realize I now
have the power to destroy you.
472
00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:46,659
And why would I give that up?
473
00:23:49,128 --> 00:23:51,097
(door opens)
474
00:23:51,130 --> 00:23:53,332
Shit. Drive.
475
00:23:53,365 --> 00:23:54,701
(tires screech)
476
00:23:59,171 --> 00:24:01,641
Farts.
477
00:24:04,644 --> 00:24:06,813
(sighs)
478
00:24:11,117 --> 00:24:13,520
(brakes squeaking)
479
00:24:15,888 --> 00:24:18,491
Oh, by the way...
480
00:24:21,528 --> 00:24:23,129
Yeah.
481
00:24:23,162 --> 00:24:25,164
Okay.
482
00:24:27,466 --> 00:24:29,869
*
483
00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:36,976
(sighs)
484
00:24:44,551 --> 00:24:48,555
So, what are we thinking,
October?
485
00:24:55,161 --> 00:24:57,296
October could work.
486
00:24:57,329 --> 00:24:59,799
-(chuckles)
-(horn honks)
487
00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:02,334
-What the hell is wrong with
you?! -Who honks like that?!
488
00:25:02,368 --> 00:25:03,636
-What are you, an ambulance?
-How dare you! My fiancée
489
00:25:03,670 --> 00:25:05,137
-and I are talking!
-Didn't think so!
490
00:25:05,171 --> 00:25:06,505
-You should just wait!
-You stupid cow!
491
00:25:06,539 --> 00:25:09,208
-Jesus, some people.
-Really.
492
00:25:09,241 --> 00:25:11,377
* Has got a violent streak *
493
00:25:11,410 --> 00:25:15,147
* I think my face
looks like glass *
494
00:25:15,181 --> 00:25:18,818
* But my body feels plastic *
495
00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:22,822
* Melt me into a bottle *
496
00:25:22,855 --> 00:25:25,157
* I wish that I was a baby *
497
00:25:25,191 --> 00:25:26,893
* Sucking on myself *
498
00:25:26,926 --> 00:25:30,663
* Boogie down to the water *
499
00:25:30,697 --> 00:25:34,233
* I thought that maybe *
500
00:25:34,266 --> 00:25:38,170
* I could be
the lake's daughter *
501
00:25:38,204 --> 00:25:42,341
* Because I float like an infant
inside of it *
502
00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:45,912
* Wait, it's too late *
503
00:25:45,945 --> 00:25:46,946
* It's got... *
504
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:49,949
(dogs barks)
505
00:25:52,484 --> 00:25:54,721
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
506
00:25:57,556 --> 00:25:59,892
(waves crashing)
507
00:26:01,994 --> 00:26:05,464
(seagulls squawking)
508
00:26:09,468 --> 00:26:11,437
(wind blowing)
509
00:26:18,077 --> 00:26:21,147
Here's your dumb
monocycle.
510
00:26:22,749 --> 00:26:25,584
(sighs) Plus I rubbed
my feet on everything
that you own,
511
00:26:25,618 --> 00:26:27,720
so everything that you own
smells like feet.
512
00:26:27,754 --> 00:26:29,155
ANNOUNCER: Baskets.
513
00:26:29,188 --> 00:26:32,825
Premieres Tuesday, January 23
on FX.
35277
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