All language subtitles for Youre the Worst S04E05 Fog of War Bro 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DD+5 1 H 264-CasStudio_track3_[eng]

You jerk.
It's not funny.

Yes, it is.
Stop it!

(running footsteps)
(door slams)

ANNOUNCER: Better Things.
All new Thursdays at 10:00
on FX.

FXX presents You're the Worst.

Jimmy, brah,

you will not believe the illness
I got into last night.

Where the hell have you been?!

People magazine is coming
to interview me.

And thus, as per
our munificent

landlord-transient
squatter agreement,

you need to make me some
toast soldiers for sustenance.

Then, when they arrive,

tell them how I
selflessly saved you

from a life living
in a trash can

like the green fellow
in that puppet slum.

Come on, now.
Oh, and as you cook,

do that thing
where you babble incessantly,

and my mind goes blank
like I'm in a hot air balloon,

floating, floating.

It so calms my nerves.

Cool. So, there I was at Boudoir
Bar for New School Rap Night.

My Tinder date: a strawberry
blonde with respectable Cs.

Oh, side note: I've developed
this dating technique.

It's like negging,
but wicked sensitive.

Ah, yes, that's it.
(toilet flushes)

So what happened?
She eat your dick or what?

Uh...

mo-mostly hand stuff.

Nice!

Gettin' some knuckle
on the first date.

(mouthing)

(whispering):
I don't know.

No. Just go...

So, Jimmy, uh, te-tell me more
about this interview.

Uh, well, my
publisher arranged it.

Um, I'm going to suggest
we do it at Soho House.

Soho House?
Last time I was there,

I puked
in Kristen Stewart's bowler hat.

Shit, I'm still fungry!

(gasps)
Yo!

We got hella new snackies!

Cheesy crackers?
"F" to the yeah.

Edgar, you're a goddamn genius.

Okay.

(sighs)

I'm heading to my room.

But first,

I got to hork down all these
cheesy bitches right quick.

(coughing)

* I'm gonna leave you anyway

* I'm gonna leave you
anyway *

* Gonna leave you anyway.

What's she doing here?
I don't know.

Well, are you guys
back together?
I don't know!

Oh, man, this sort of
situational murkiness

with no road map for
success makes me anxious.

It's the fog of war, bro.

It reminds me of this one time
in the Al Anbar province.

There was this little
boy who was wearing...
(knocking)

They're here.

Okay, um...
I'll invite them in.

"Hello, hello.
Jimmy's a saint."

Then you disappear,

and we'll head down Sunset

and straight into the pages
of America's favorite purveyor

of soft journalism.

(sighs)

James, so lovely
to see you again.
I... (mutters)

Oh. Oh.
Oh. Oh. Yup.

Oh. Three.
(both chuckle)

This is Genevieve
from People.
Okay.

Um, why is there a camera crew?

It's an on-camera
interview?

For People's
streaming series,

Where the Magic Happens.

They come and interview
artists in their homes.

It was in the e-mail I sent you.

Okay, quick note:
I never read past the subject

unless the e-mail's subject is,
"Read Past Subject!"

Or "Big Fan!"
GENEVIEVE:
Let's set up

by the windows.
That way, we can frame him

with the sun setting
over the reservoir.
Mm.

Well, that's east,
and it's morning.
We'll fix it in post.

(quietly):
Can I, uh...?
Oh.

So, um, Gretchen is here.

You two aren't back
together, are you?

No.

Um, I mean, we haven't really
discussed our status.

Because that would
really interfere

with the marketing
of the book.

We're selling you
as a bachelor Brit

with eyes of frosted steel.

Steel is a bit cold.

I mean, maybe cornflower?

I worked my ass off
getting you this interview.

Usually, People magazine will
not touch an unknown author

unless they just escaped from
a kidnapper's sex dungeon.

So you need to make sure
she doesn't come upstairs.

If you tell Gretchen there's a
place she can't go, she's going.

Whether it's a bar,
a McDonald's PlayPlace,

a public pool
during kids' swim.

Deal with it... now.

Um...

Jimmy saved my life.

Oh.

We can CGI him into
a floor lamp, right?

Yeah, totally.

(man and woman moaning
on computer screen)

Konnichiwa.

(moaning continues on computer)

So, apparently, this interview
is happening upstairs.

And so, it's vital that
you stay down here.

(moaning continues)

That doesn't mean
you can't go upstairs.

Gretchen can go anywhere.

I can go anywhere!
Yeah. I would just

personally really, really
appreciate it if you laid low.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. Oh.

(moaning continues)

Hmm.
(hammering)

I can probably make that work.

I have to finish

this pint of Bubble Cream.

Plus, I really need to find out
where this bang bus is headed.

They said they're going
to San Diego, but they just keep

driving around the same
neighborhood in the Valley.

Something is up.

Mmm. Gum?

MAN:
Oh, yeah, baby, oh, yeah.

(moaning continues on computer)

(chuckles, sighs)

Psst, psst, psst,
psst, psst. Come on.

Right, she's acting
really weird.

Like David Bowie
in Labyrint weird,

or like Kevin in We Need
to Talk about Kevin weird?

She's watching pornography
fully clothed.
Kevin weird.

All right, that's it. I need
to get her out of the house.

Well, I could try to talk
to her, but Gretchen...
Oh, thank you, Edgar.

I'll get you something nice
in return,

like an Olive
Garden gift card

from that rack for poors
at Rite Aid.

(sighs heavily)

(knocking)

Hey, Gretchen.

Hey yourself,
you big stud!

Uh, I was just thinking.

It is such a beautiful day
outside.

You know, just in case you...

wanted to

get out of the house for...

Um...

I-I-I found a, um...

a discount ticket Web site
that's full

of amazing cultural events.

There's Uterus the Musical
at Glendale Community College.

Huh? The El Capitan Theatre
is showing

Pixar's Birds with a live show.

Gary Sinise and the
Lieutenant Dan Band are playing

the San Pedro Lobster Chomp!

I'm not
leaving, Edgar.

(in guttural voice):
I'm staying here.

Forever.

For...

eh...

ver...

(guttural utterance)

Shit!

(panting)

(whimpering)

(panting)

She's crazy, Jimmy.

How about I get my go bag
and we both just move

to the Safari Inn in Burbank?

We can't do that.
I've done it before.

One time we found a nest
of camel spiders on base,

so we packed up, hit the
entrance with a truck-bomb,

and pretended
the Taliban did it.

What were they gonna say?

CANDACE:
We're almost ready
for you, Jimmy!

I cannot believe she'd threaten
my job like this.

Why isn't she at her job?

She's told her clients
she's in Europe.

Jimmy. That's
compromising material.

Blackmail her.

(glass shattering)
I'm out.

Save yourself.

(thud, groans)

What?

(glass shattering)

(whistling)

(clattering nearby)

Where's the box spring?

Down there.

Oh. Why the
sad face, Puppy?

You still worried I'm coming
upstairs to nuke your interview?

No, because I have my own nuke.

It's a text to Slim,

Shit-Show, and Honey Cake,

revealing that you
are not in Europe.

(camera shutter clicks)

Complete with a
time-stamped photo.

Leave now or I will expose you

as the fraud you are.

Boom.

New rule:

no matter what happens,

we don't ruin profesh shit
for each other.

Truce?

Truce.

So, are we all good?

Oh, hold on.

(clattering and thud)

Yeah, we're good.

Your lemon tree,
on the other hand...

What?

(whining):
Oh, Juicy.

Uh, she's not leaving,

but it's fine,
this is fine.

You trust that she's
gonna stay down there?

I don't trust her to
drive a bumper car.

Don't screw me here.
I cannot jeopardize

my longstanding
relationship with People,

which dates back to when
they asked me for a quote

that Ben Affleck did deserve
to be 2002's Sexiest Man Alive,

even though, let's be honest,
it's like somebody put

Tom Brady's chin
on Rachel Maddow.

Well, let's just say

that she and I have
reached a dГ©tente.

Good boy.

Okay, we ready?

So, Genevieve, as you know,

the book release is next week,

and we're making
a big push at the Romance

and Erotica Book Expo.

So this will time
to drop with that.
Yes, thanks.

So, Jimmy, what
inspired your book?

The Width of a Peach was borne

of the sensual stories
I wrote as a boy.

See, Manchester was a harsh
place for a sensitive child

who managed to escape
rat attack,

cholera, laudanum overdose,

and coming across an unexploded
German ordinance.

But armed with a notebook

and a piece of lead, I would
hide under the covers,

using language to express
my forbidden desires.

(knocking on door)
What? Why am I awake?

Why were you asleep?

It's like 2:00 in the afternoon.

I was at my job
till 6:00 a.m.

I did night work so long,
it turned into day.

(groans)

What happened to you?

I fell down the hill behind
Jimmy's-- long story.

Basically, (sighs)

there's a real fubar situation
over there.

Did that round tweenager
show up begging again?

Just throw lemons at his belly

till he runs back
to his side of the block.

Gretchen's there.
What?!

And she's acting
like a Japanese ghost.

It is so spooky.

God, I've been so distracted
at my job.

I thought Gretchen was in
Eagle Rock boning that hunk.

What hunk?

Some married guy.
They hump in cars.

See, this is why we need
to start a group text.

I keep starting a chain
but no one responds.

You guys probably aren't getting
them because my phone's so old.

Yes. That's why
no one's responding.
Anyway,

I can't go back
into that crazy house.

It's triggering me.

It's like when Dad moved out

and no one told me,
and then, one day,

there was a new guy living
in Mom's master suite.

You got to call Gretchen
and get her to leave Jimmy's,

but don't tell her
I told you she's there.

Obviously.

(grunts)
(phone ringing)

Hey, girl.

LINDSAY (singsongy):
Hey. What you up to?

I just woke up
and you weren't here,

so I thought, "Hey, where's
Gretchen?" And then I thought,

"Probably with that married
guy," and then I thought,

"Good one, Linds.
You're not as stupid

as your swimming teacher
keeps saying you are."

Want to hang out?

Hang out where?

It depends where you are.

Like, you're not at Jimmy's
or anything?

Too much.

Shit.

I'm at home.

Where home?
Here home.

Where are you exactly?
Linds...

I live with Jimmy, just like
I have for a long time.

But...

I thought you lived here?
What?

When did I live at your house?

You've been here
for a few months.

Oh, Puppy,
if I live at your house,

then where's all my stuff?

I don't know.

I thought...

You farted on my couch, right?

You're very tired.

I did night work for so long.

I know.

Get some sleep, sweetie.

Okay. Bye, Gretchen.

EDGAR:
So... what did you learn?

I don't know what's real.

JIMMY:
I write

till 4:00 or 5:00 a.m.

At dawn, I make my way down
to the reservoir,

where the street vendors hawk
mangos y papayas.

From them, I draw
both sustenance

and cultural inspiration.

Where's bitch?!

She's not here.

You texted us
that she was here.

Now-now either you're lying

or MetroPCS is lying,

and I know MetroPCS
ain't got no angle here.

What? No.
Uh, I was going to,

but I hit the blue
send-to-trash button.

And, clearly, I haven't used
my phone in a few months.

Listen, fellas,
you have to vacate.

(whispering):
People magazine's
interviewing me.

No shit?

Yo.
Crossing.

The cover story you did

on the Hannah Montana reunion
made me cry.

Billy Ray is so proud
of Miley.

Thanks.

Who are you guys?

We really need
a better publicist.

Speak of the bitch.

Crossing.

All right, see you
in a bit, fellas.

* Her glance hits me
like lightning *

* I heard that girl
is fast and frightening *

No! No, no, no, no, no, no.

You lied to us!

You have not
been in Europe.

(whining):
I was.

I just got back.

Honestly,

Europe was a dream.

So many bicycles and castles.

One afternoon,
in South Berlin,

I watched an old woman
play harmonium

while a stray dog ate a
cheese sandwich out of my hand.

SAM: There are no
stray dogs in Berlin.

The animal welfare system
is tight.

It was the old lady's dog.

What kind of cheese
was on that sandwich?

Resspelutchenbidenzer.

Bitch, we know you've
been here this whole time!

SHITSTAIN:
Yeah, Jimmy texted us

and he ratted you out
pretty hard.

Damn it, Jimmy!

You said you befriended
Fatboy Slim on our behalf.

Okay, guys, but think about
that-- what does that even mean?

You are the worst--

and I mean worst--
publicist I have ever met!

And my dad is friends
with Paul Manafort!

We needed you.

Do you even know what's
going on right now?

No.

You want to tell her?

You tell her.

Tell me what?

Turns out Zachary is

45 years old!

(laughs):
Honey Nutz is 45?

We can't have a 45-year-old in
the group! This is a crisis!

The other day he
was freestyling

about how
the Challeng explosion

really messed him up,
and the truth came out.

We needed you,

and you were nowhere
to be found!

You better have some
mind-blowing explanation

for lying to us, or we are
firing your ass for reals!

Hey. You guys don't even know

what happened with Jimmy,
do you?

Uh-uh. No more
lies, bitch.

God's truth,
stick a needle in my eye.

(patting mattress)

Okay.

Three months ago
Jimmy took me to this spot

above the Hollywood Bowl,

pretending we were looking
for murder clues.

GENEVIEVE:
Who are your favorite

erotica authors?
Uh...

see, there's a fine line
between erotica

Mm.
and litera...
(stammering)

Um...

It's, uh...

Hmm.

(sighs)

*

SHITSTAIN:
You're a bad person,

Jimmy Shive-Overly.

(Sam chuckles)

You dead, dude.

Okay. Ha-ha!

(door closes)
Yeah, bye, fellas!

Okay. Uh, where were we?
Where were... um...

Oh, God, Lindsay.
Does this mean we're in charge?

I can't be in charge
of anything.

I was in charge once in Iraq,
and it did not go well.

In fact, that was the last time
we did Secret Santa.

Maybe we could
get them back together

while they're
under the same roof!

LINDSAY:
I wish I'd thought of that

when Mom was breaking up
with Uncle.

I could have Parent-Trapped them
that weekend in Solvang.

This is scary. Hold me.

I'm getting
all cranked up.
Me, too, bud.

Now, make my body
feel good.

Mmm.

What's more important,
characters or plot?

I think characters

are obviously...

(footfalls approaching)
the essential...

Why don't we finish this
at a coffee shop?

Hi, sweetie.

Oh! Oh, don't mind me.

I am not here.

Hi. I'm Gretchen Cutler,
Jimmy's fiancГ©e,

The future Mrs....

Is it Shive-Overly?
(chuckles)

Maybe we'll do one
of those hybrid names

the kids are
getting into.

Cutler-y.

Shitler.

(laughing)

GENEVIEVE:
What's going on?

I just interviewed
him for an hour

about his single life.

Single?

Why are they saying
you're single, Jimmy?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Okay. You're right.

I have been acting crazy.
Mm.

But what is it that
happened to us, exactly?

One,

you asked me to marry you.

Two, I said yes.

Three, you left.

And then four,
you came back,

apologized,
and I said it was fine.

Isn't that what happened?

Ye-Yes. Technically.

GRETCHEN:
Which means we
never stopped

being engaged.

We're still engaged,
Jimmy, right?

Jimmy?

Uh, c... can you just
give us a second?

So, wait...

you haven't been punishing me

by taking over
the bedroom

and refusing to leave?

I just wanted you
to squirm a little.

But now I find out

you're supposed to be single
for the book?

Maybe I should
move back out?

Oh, don't. N...
Well, how are we

gonna make this all work, then?

What if I wasn't single?

Jimmy...
What about

a writer who isn't single

and maybe makes mistakes?

Human ones. But at
the end of the day,

his heart's in
the right place.

Is... is there something
you could do with that?

I-It could be
aspirational.

Everyone deserves love.

That sounds very People.
Yeah.

We could adjust
our strategy.

It'll work.

I'm a publicist.
You ever hear

of the one that goes,
"Courtney Love is smart now"?

That was you?
JIMMY: See, the
honest truth is,

this book...

this is our love story.

And our story is chaotic,

but love is chaos.

And it's the only game
in town worth playing.

What do you think?

She can stay.

Can we get
Gretchen miked?

(sighs heavily)

Hi.

Hi.

(knocking)

Oh, 'scuse me

(door opens)

Hi, Booner!
Gretch, what's wrong?

You said you had
an emergency?
Yup.

Uh, it's downstairs.

In the bedroom.

I'll show you.

Hello.

(both chuckle)

Shouldn't have texted the boys.

Mushroom cloud, bitch!

(imitates explosion)

*

(video game weapons firing)

(door opens)

Jimmy...

we have to talk.

We know you and Gretch
are going through a thing,

but it's messing
with our brains.
Yeah,

so there's something very
important we need you to hear.

BOTH:
And-a one and-a two

and-a one, two, three and...

* There's one and one

* And that makes two

* But the two of you
are making us blue *

* So let's end the fighting,
let's have fun *

* And make two hearts
back into one... *

(harmonizing):
* Back into one.

(holding last notes)

That was really beautiful.

Why don't you go
downstairs

and sing it to Gretchen.

She's in the bedroom.

(video game weapons firing)

LINDSAY (whispers):
And-a one, and-a two,

and-a one, two, three.

* There's one and one...
(moaning,
gasping)

(grunting)

* I am alone

* In this cold

* After all

We get two
Christmases now.

* So hard

* To hold back these tears

* I'm caving in

* Call me back one more *

* Time *
* I

* Live with a troubled mind

* Call me back *

* One more time *

* You won't call me

* One more time

* Call me back *

* One more time *

* But I'm much too proud

* To question why.

(dog barks)

Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH

I don't know.
The timing just felt right.

I was like,
"Is this really happening?"

I looked her in the eyes
and just knew.

It's a moment
I'll never forget.

-(sighs)
-(sighs)

I would dump her again
in a heartbeat.

I hope he's morbidly
disfigured in a horrific
Jet Skiing accident.

ANNOUNCER:
American Horror Story: Cult.

All new,
Tuesdays at 10:00 on FX.

I have to eat
this onion?

-Honey, trust me.
-(sighs)

Your mom knows.
It's time for you
to learn these secrets.

-How does this help?
-It doesn't. Ha!

Oh, my God.