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1
00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:05,000
Cheers is filmedbefore a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:07,100
No, I don't
remember her name.
3
00:00:07,100 --> 00:00:09,300
(wind whistling)
4
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:10,700
Sammy?
5
00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:12,000
Yeah. Yeah.
It's Mike Dukakis.
6
00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:13,900
SAM:
Yeah.
It's Michael Dukakis.
7
00:00:13,900 --> 00:00:15,500
Let's go say
hello to him.
We can't.
8
00:00:15,500 --> 00:00:17,500
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
What'll we call him?
9
00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:18,800
What'll we call him?
Uh, Governor.
10
00:00:18,900 --> 00:00:19,800
Ex. Ex-governor.
11
00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:21,300
Ooh, yeah. Your Honor.
There you go.
12
00:00:21,300 --> 00:00:23,000
You... Your
Ex Honor.
No, no, no, no, no.
13
00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:24,000
Yeah.
Mike.
14
00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:25,200
Michael.
Duke! Duke,
Duke, Duke!
15
00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:27,200
Duke! Duke! Duke!
16
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:28,600
Hi. How're you doing?
SAM:
Hi.
17
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:30,100
Hi.
18
00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:31,600
(both laughing)
19
00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:34,900
We said hello to
Michael Dukakis!
20
00:00:34,900 --> 00:00:36,300
No, no, we said hi to Mike!
21
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:37,400
Michael.
22
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:38,400
No, no.
Duke. Duke.
23
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,600
Duke. Duke. We said
hello to Duke.
24
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,500
(theme song begins)
25
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,000
� Making your way
in the world today �
26
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:51,200
� Takes everything you've got �
27
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,900
� Taking a break
from all your worries �
28
00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:57,300
� Sure would help a lot
29
00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:01,200
� Wouldn't you like
to get away? �
30
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,800
� Sometimes you want to go
31
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:09,200
� Where everybody
knows your name �
32
00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:15,200
� And they're always
glad you came �
33
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,400
� You wanna be
where you can see �
34
00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:20,000
� Our troubles
are all the same �
35
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:24,200
� You wanna be where
everybody knows your name �
36
00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:27,500
� You wanna go
where people know �
37
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:30,700
� People are all the same
38
00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:35,300
� You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. �
39
00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:53,900
Oh! Uh, uh.
Excuse me.
40
00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:55,100
Excuse me, Rebecca.
41
00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:56,500
Uh, 2:15.
42
00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:58,500
Hey, Sammy, here you go.
43
00:01:58,500 --> 00:01:59,800
Thanks, Carla.
44
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:01,100
Phew! That was close.
45
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,300
What the hell was that?
46
00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:03,500
Sammy's vitamin E.
47
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:04,900
It's Valentine's Day.
48
00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:06,500
Duh!
49
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:07,700
Oh, yeah.
50
00:02:07,700 --> 00:02:10,300
That's that stupid date
he goes on once a year
51
00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:12,100
with that-- what is that--
Lauren person.
52
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,500
NORM:
Stupid?
53
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:16,200
This is not some
stupid date, Rebecca.
54
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:17,500
For the last
20 years,
55
00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:19,100
Sammy and Lauren have met
56
00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:20,800
for one night each year.
57
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,200
It's kind of like Sammy's
version of commitment.
58
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:24,900
Actually,
59
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,400
it's a lot like
my version of commitment.
60
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,200
SAM:
Hey, Carla,
61
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,500
how long have you had this
bottle of vitamin E around, huh?
62
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,200
I don't know.
A while. Why?
63
00:02:36,300 --> 00:02:38,500
What is with this date
you go on every year?
64
00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:41,200
I mean, you know, to me,
it just... it just seems silly.
65
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:42,200
(men gasping)
Uh-oh!
66
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:43,400
Come on, guys.
67
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:44,900
Guys, she just
doesn't understand.
68
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,300
You see, sweetheart, first
time Lauren and I met,
69
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:50,100
we went up to
this cabin, and
we had a night
70
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,700
that was totally
romantic and erotic.
71
00:02:52,700 --> 00:02:55,300
I guess you'd
call that silly.
72
00:02:56,700 --> 00:02:57,900
If you liked her so much,
73
00:02:57,900 --> 00:02:59,400
how come you only
see her once a year?
74
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,200
I don't know. I don't
know. It was her idea.
75
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:02,500
You know, she
never told me why.
76
00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:04,500
I keep meaning to ask
her, but then I forget.
77
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:05,500
This year's going
to be different, though.
78
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,100
I'm gonna pin her down.
79
00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:08,500
No, I better not do that.
80
00:03:08,500 --> 00:03:11,100
Actually, I'll forget again,
won't I?
81
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:13,200
Well, I still say
it's a stupid way
82
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:14,900
to spend
Valentine's Day.
Yeah, but
83
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:16,200
that's 'cause
you don't have a date.
84
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,100
Oh, yeah? I happen
to have a date
85
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,200
with two very sweet gentlemen--
86
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,200
Ben and Jerry.
87
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:24,900
Hey, you know,
88
00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:26,700
it's just a made-up
holiday anyway.
89
00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:28,800
You know, some big fat
greeting card tycoon
90
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,200
trying to get rich
91
00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:32,300
off of dopey cards
and candy hearts.
92
00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:33,900
Don't be depressed
about that.
93
00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:35,500
Yeah, maybe
you're right.
94
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:37,100
If you're gonna be depressed
about anything,
95
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,300
it should be the fact
96
00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,300
that you're only making
seven bucks an hour,
97
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:43,800
your skin is starting
to flake at the hairline,
98
00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:46,400
and you're a year closer
to death.
99
00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:49,300
Thank you, Carla.
100
00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:51,700
But, hey,
if it makes you feel any better,
101
00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:53,000
Happy Valentine's Day!
102
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,800
Woody, a couple
of pitchers, please.
103
00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:58,900
Sure, Dr. Crane.
104
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,100
Uh, if you're
buying beer
105
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:01,600
for your friends
back there, Fras,
106
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,300
you know, I'm,
uh... I'm available.
107
00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:04,500
(laughs)
Well...
108
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:05,800
Actually,
they're not friends.
109
00:04:05,900 --> 00:04:07,400
It's a therapy group I have
110
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:09,500
for men who have trouble
relating to women.
111
00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:11,500
(laughing):
Well, set
'em up, Wood.
112
00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:15,700
Ah, Frasier.
113
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:16,600
Here you are.
114
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:20,000
And where are the
dysfunctional men?
115
00:04:23,700 --> 00:04:26,000
Throw a rock.
116
00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,500
They're in the pool room.
117
00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:33,300
Come along, ladies.
118
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,800
Why don't you go on ahead
into the poolroom and...
119
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:39,600
make yourselves as comfortable
as five women totally hostile
120
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:40,800
to their own bodies can be.
121
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:41,800
After you.
122
00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:46,400
So, uh,
what's going on back there?
123
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:49,400
Well, Frasier and I are both
treating same-sex groups
124
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,400
with relationship disorders.
125
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:54,000
And recent studies suggest
that there are benefits
126
00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:56,400
to be gained by bringing
these two groups together
127
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:57,600
for interrelations
128
00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,100
under controlled
social circumstance.
129
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,600
Say what?
130
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,300
Well, come on.
131
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,200
Surely you've all seen,
uh, Love Connection.
132
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:05,400
Oh!
133
00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:09,600
G... Guys! Guys!
134
00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:10,700
What are you doing out here?
135
00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:11,700
Dr. Crane, there's...
there's...
136
00:05:11,700 --> 00:05:12,800
Yes, I know.
137
00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:14,600
There's girls in there.
138
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:16,900
But you see,
you're missing the point.
139
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,000
This is exactly the type
of situation
140
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,500
we've been training for.
141
00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:21,700
This time it's the real thing,
not just me in a wig.
142
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,100
Whoa!
Man, those stairs are slippery.
143
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:37,100
Woody, I think we could use
a little salt out there.
144
00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:39,200
These pretzels could
use a little salt, too.
145
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,500
My blood pressure's
actually dipping.
146
00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:47,600
Boy, those patients of mine
are really hopeless.
147
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:49,100
Well, heck,
148
00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:50,000
bring them
out here.
149
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,900
This is the
hopeless room.
150
00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:56,200
Yeah, I don't know, Dr. Crane.
Haven't you ever thought
151
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:59,000
that it's kind of tough on them,
doing all that counseling stuff?
152
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:02,200
I mean, I was raised to believe
that if you have a problem,
153
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:04,000
you lock it away
in a secret place.
154
00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:06,100
You keep it bottled up
good and tight.
155
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,000
And if it gets full in there,
156
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,800
you just keep forcing
the pain down
157
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,400
and clamping it in.
158
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:13,700
Good advice, Woody.
159
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,600
Tick, tick, tick.
160
00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:25,300
Well, guys, I'm all packed
and ready to go.
161
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:26,700
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
162
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,500
You sure you got
everything, Sam?
163
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,800
Yup.
164
00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:34,200
And then some.
165
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,100
Oh! Oh,
you dog!
166
00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:37,100
Hey!
You dog!
167
00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:38,300
Well, hey,
I'm out of here.
168
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:39,700
No, no, no.
169
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:40,900
No, you don't,
Sam Malone!
170
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:41,900
SAM:
What?
171
00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:43,100
You don't just
leave here
172
00:06:43,100 --> 00:06:46,100
on your 20th-anniversary date
with Lauren just like that.
173
00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:48,600
We got something special
cooked up for you. Carla,
174
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:49,600
hit it.
175
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,600
(fanfare plays)
176
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,900
Ah, look at him go.
177
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,600
So proud,
178
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:11,800
so majestic,
179
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,200
so regal.
180
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,000
(thudding, Sam grunting)
181
00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:22,100
CARLA:
Woody,
182
00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:24,500
you never salted
those steps, did you?
183
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,400
Hey, I'll get to it.
184
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,200
Let me see.
185
00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:39,500
I don't believe
there's a fracture,
186
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,500
just a serious sprain
right around lumbar three.
187
00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:43,300
Does it hurt
when I do this?
188
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,400
(groaning)
189
00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:45,700
That's good.
That's good.
190
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:48,200
Ooh. Why? Does that mean
I'm gonna get better?
191
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:49,900
No. Because it means I know
what I'm talking about.
192
00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:52,400
You see, Lilith, I could
so have been a real doctor.
193
00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:56,900
Hey, give me a hand here,
will you, Woody?
194
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,000
Oh, geez.
195
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,000
Time's a-wastin',
my friend.
196
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,700
Oh, Sam, you're not
seriously thinking
197
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,200
of still going on
this date, are you?
198
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,400
You bet I am.
NORM:
All right!
199
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:05,500
(men cheering)
200
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,200
Sam, I seriously
urge you
201
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,900
to stay off your feet
and in bed.
202
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,300
Well, that's part of
the plan, there, Fras.
203
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,900
Hey, Woody, can you do me
one tiny little favor?
204
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,300
Sure, Sam.
What is it?
205
00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:18,700
Can you get me up to my car,
then drive me to Vermont,
206
00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:20,300
then get me
into the cabin?
207
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,500
What's in
it for me?
208
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:25,200
Well, you could use
that new gas card of yours
209
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:26,800
to fill the tank.
210
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,900
All right!
I'll feel so grown up!
211
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:35,800
All right, Sam.
212
00:08:35,900 --> 00:08:37,700
I'm gonna drive
you up there,
213
00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:40,300
and I don't want you
to worry about a thing.
214
00:08:40,300 --> 00:08:41,600
I'm a very
good driver.
215
00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:42,900
Great. Great.
216
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,900
Just go, please.
217
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,900
� Ding, ding, ding.
218
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,600
What are you doing?
219
00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:53,600
"The captain is requesting
220
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,300
that all passengers please
fasten their safety belts."
221
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,800
Oh.
222
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,000
(groans)
223
00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:02,400
C-Can you get that
for me, please?
224
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,500
Sure, Sam.
225
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,600
Where is that
seat belt?
(grunts)
226
00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:08,700
Here it is.
227
00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:09,900
Ow!
228
00:09:09,900 --> 00:09:11,400
That hurt!
229
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:13,600
I'm sorry.
230
00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:14,800
(clicking seat belt)
231
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:16,900
Nice and snug.
232
00:09:19,900 --> 00:09:21,100
Here we go.
233
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:22,400
(car engine starts)
234
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,500
Ignition, lights,
235
00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:26,500
parking brake,
236
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:29,400
mirror, signal.
237
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:30,600
(turn signal clicking)
238
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:32,800
Blind spot.
239
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,700
Vermont,
240
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,200
here we come.
241
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:39,800
(brakes squeal)
Lord have mercy!
242
00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:41,500
What? What happened? Aah!
243
00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:42,800
Well, I didn't think
244
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:44,900
that pigeon was gonna
fly away in time.
245
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,300
Why do they always wait
till the last minute?
246
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,600
What, do they think
that's funny or something?
247
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:51,600
Aw, I don't know, Woody...
248
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:53,500
All right. All
right, Sam, hang on.
249
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:54,800
We're gonna pull out again.
250
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:58,200
Mirror, signal, blind spot.
251
00:09:58,300 --> 00:09:59,700
(turn signal clicking)
252
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:00,900
There.
253
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,300
"Exit 19.
254
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,700
Concord Street."
255
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:11,700
"Exit 20."
256
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,100
"Route 125."
257
00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:16,800
Woody...
258
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:18,100
Hang on, Sam.
259
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,400
"93 North."
260
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:22,400
Oh, no, please,
don't read all the road signs.
261
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,700
Oh, fine, Sam.
262
00:10:24,700 --> 00:10:26,900
Would you like me
to ignore the speed limit, too?
263
00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:29,100
I wouldn't mind
if you approached it.
264
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,700
Meow, Sam.
265
00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:34,300
(rattling)
266
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:35,600
Sam, I hear some rattling.
267
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,000
Is your door
closed all the way?
268
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,200
No, it's not.
269
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:39,300
Here, I'll get it.
270
00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:40,800
No, no, hang on.
I-I'm gonna
271
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,600
pull over as soon as
I make this turn.
272
00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:45,400
(sighs)
No, don't undo
your seat belt!
273
00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:46,800
Give me a break.
274
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,100
Will you lighten up?
275
00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:49,100
Whoa!
(thudding)
276
00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:50,200
Now would that have happened
277
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,400
if you'd been wearing
your safety belt?
278
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,500
Now boys,
girls,
279
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:02,700
I have an orange
under my chin.
280
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:05,600
I am going to attempt to
pass it to this lovely woman,
281
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:07,800
whom I do not fear.
282
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:16,100
Now you see,
isn't that fun?
283
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,200
Whoa!
284
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,800
Now, why don't you
have a crack at it?
285
00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:22,100
Edward, how about you?
286
00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:23,600
Come on.
287
00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:25,200
Here we are.
That's lovely.
288
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,800
Okay. Ready?
289
00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:29,000
Yes. Good, good,
good, yes.
290
00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:34,100
I don't think I want
to do this, Dr. Crane.
291
00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:36,000
Oh, all right!
292
00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:37,600
And what would you
suggest that we do?
293
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:38,800
Stare at one another?
294
00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:41,400
Lord knows you've all had
enough practice at that!
295
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,900
You're pressuring
them, Doctor.
296
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,700
Oh, you're right, darling. Uh...
297
00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:46,300
You know, perhaps
we should try
298
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:47,700
a different approach.
299
00:11:47,700 --> 00:11:49,500
You know, there is
300
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,400
a technique pioneered
in the early 60's,
301
00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:53,800
which is thought
to be without peer
302
00:11:53,900 --> 00:11:56,500
in producing the social
effect that we seek.
303
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:58,100
I'm referring,
of course, to...
304
00:11:58,100 --> 00:12:01,100
Twister!
305
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:03,000
LILITH:
Left foot blue.
306
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:09,900
(door opens)
307
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,100
Oh, yeah.
308
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,100
Ah, this place is going to see
some action tonight.
309
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,100
Oh, Sam, you've still
got a little gravel
310
00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:28,300
stuck to the back
of your neck.
311
00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:31,200
Yeah? Well, I like
it like that.
312
00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:32,500
Just get me
on the bed there.
313
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:35,000
You can take off and come
pick me up in the morning.
314
00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:36,300
(car approaching)
315
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,300
Oh, hey, that's
Lauren's car there.
316
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:40,100
Oh, great! I'm really looking
forward to meeting her.
317
00:12:40,100 --> 00:12:42,200
No, no, man. You g...
you got to get out of here.
318
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,000
If she sees you, she's gonna
think something's wrong.
319
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,800
It'll ruin the mood.
Just quick-- get out the window.
320
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,700
Go on!
Oh, sure.
321
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,700
"Quick, out the window."
322
00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:52,000
Not exactly the undying
thanks and gratitude
323
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:55,400
I might expect after driving
200 miles through the snow.
324
00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:57,100
Would you just shut up
and move your butt?
325
00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:58,200
Oh, that's much better, Sam.
326
00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,800
That'll keep me warm
on the drive home.
327
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:09,700
Sam, there's a door here.
328
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:11,700
Why'd I go
out the window?
329
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,200
Would you get out of here?!
330
00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:15,200
Go on!
331
00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:28,200
Happy Valentine's Day, Sam.
332
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,300
Happy Valentine's Day, Lauren.
333
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,400
Aww... wait.
334
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,100
Why? Wh-what are you doing?
335
00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:35,300
I want to get a running start.
No-no!
336
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:36,600
No! No! Lauren!
337
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,400
Nooooo!
338
00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:47,000
Now you have to play
by the rules.
339
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,700
The bottle is clearly
pointing at Jill.
340
00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:52,900
Now, Jules, you
have to kiss her.
341
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,300
I pass.
342
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,500
For the hundredth time,
you cannot pass!
343
00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:57,700
Okay, I quit.
344
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:04,900
Perhaps it's time
we admit our failure.
345
00:14:04,900 --> 00:14:07,000
It was a well-intentioned
experiment,
346
00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:08,800
but we realize now
that you're not ready
347
00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:10,700
for this type of
social interaction.
348
00:14:10,700 --> 00:14:13,500
I guess we can only
conclude by saying,
349
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,400
"Oh, well."
350
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:17,600
FRASIER:
No!
351
00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:19,100
I'm not giving up!
352
00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:21,000
How difficult can it
be to kiss a woman?
353
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,600
Be a little assertive
for once in your life!
354
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,800
Now you see how
easy that was? Again.
355
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:27,900
Again!
356
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:39,900
Class dismissed.
Let's go, hon.
357
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,000
(Lauren moans)
358
00:14:56,100 --> 00:14:57,700
Sam, is something wrong?
359
00:14:57,700 --> 00:14:59,100
Mm-mm, why?
360
00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:00,900
You're biting your lip.
Mm.
361
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,600
Usually, you bite my lip.
(chuckles)
362
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,400
I'm sorry.
363
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,000
I have an idea.
Ow!
364
00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:12,800
(sultry music plays)
365
00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:15,400
Let's dance the way
we used to, Sam.
366
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,200
(chuckles)
367
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,600
You know something,
we always dance.
368
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:24,200
W-Why don't we just, uh...
369
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:27,700
why don't we just sit
very still, huh?
370
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:32,200
Yeah, i-it could become
a new tradition for us.
371
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,900
Come on, Sam,
let's slow dance.
372
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,700
(grunts):
No!
373
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,900
You like that, huh?
374
00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:40,600
Hey, I've got a great idea here.
375
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,600
Let's, uh, tell you what.
376
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:46,000
You want to learn that new dance
that's sweeping Boston?
377
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,100
I'm game.
What do we do?
378
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:51,100
The guy kind of stands
like this, very still.
379
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:52,400
And sometimes
380
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:54,600
he leans up against something.
381
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:57,500
And pretty soon his legs
start to tremble.
382
00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,100
Sort of the way
yours are now.
383
00:15:59,100 --> 00:16:00,300
Yeah, yeah.
384
00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:01,800
There, you like it?
(snapping fingers)
385
00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:06,200
Well, what does
the girl do?
386
00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:08,400
Usually she runs for some ice.
387
00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:12,300
You don't want to dance,
do you, Sam?
388
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:14,600
No, you know, the truth is,
I really don't.
389
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:15,900
Sam, what's going on?
390
00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:17,700
What do you mean?
391
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:18,600
Never mind.
392
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:19,700
I think I know.
393
00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:20,700
(music stops)
394
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:22,600
I mean, it's obvious.
395
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,000
I'm not exactly as young
as I used to be and, um...
396
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:26,200
Oh, sweetheart, wait a minute.
397
00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:27,800
Wait, is that what you think?
398
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:29,300
Well, it's okay.
You can level with me.
399
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:30,600
I've gotten too old for you.
400
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:33,800
Oh, no. Listen, age has nothing
to do with it.
401
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:37,000
You-- you are still
as young and sexy
402
00:16:37,100 --> 00:16:39,200
as that first day
403
00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:42,000
and night and next morning
that we met.
404
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,300
Really, Sam?
405
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,200
Then why are you acting
so standoffish?
406
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:49,200
Yeah... oh, honey, I've got
to level with you here.
407
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:50,700
Sweetie, I fell down
the steps today.
408
00:16:50,700 --> 00:16:52,500
I threw my back out.
I can barely move.
409
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:53,900
Oh...
410
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,500
Well, I'm not surprised,
a man your age.
411
00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:09,300
Hey, look!
412
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:13,200
That cute guy,
with the hairy knuckles,
413
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:16,600
he just left me a five buck tip
inside this Valentine.
414
00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:17,700
How 'bout that?
415
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:25,900
So what?
416
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,200
I thought that we...
417
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,500
didn't care...
418
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:31,500
about that...
419
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:33,400
stupid made-up...
420
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,200
Valentine corporate garbage.
421
00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:44,600
That's just
what losers say
422
00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:45,800
when they don't get any.
423
00:17:45,900 --> 00:17:49,100
But I got one,
and at 11:40.
424
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:50,600
Right under the wire.
425
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,800
Whoa, I almost pulled
a Rebecca that time.
426
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,500
That's not very nice, Carla.
427
00:17:58,900 --> 00:18:00,100
You're right.
428
00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:01,500
I'm sorry.
429
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:03,700
I almost forgot.
430
00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:06,000
Guess who called you
to wish you a Happy
431
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:06,900
Valentine's Day?
Who?
432
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,900
Nobody!
433
00:18:13,700 --> 00:18:16,900
Well, don't you
worry there, Rebecca.
434
00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:18,500
Nobody's a loser
on this day.
435
00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:19,700
I'm not going to, uh,
436
00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:22,200
let you leave the bar
empty-handed.
437
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:23,700
What's this?
438
00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:26,300
It's a Valentine's
card I got for Ma,
439
00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:29,700
but I, I think it
suits you better.
440
00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:31,400
Gee, Cliff, thanks.
441
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:33,800
Hey! Carla!
442
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,900
I did get one!
443
00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:37,300
So, uh...
444
00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:38,700
what am I gonna get for it?
445
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:42,800
What do you mean?
446
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:46,200
Eh, come on, baby,
swing a little.
447
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,500
What?
448
00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:54,700
Well, according to Fras, uh,
449
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:57,100
babes like guys
who are assertive.
450
00:18:57,100 --> 00:18:58,800
Aw, come on,
451
00:18:58,900 --> 00:18:59,900
Robin's not here,
452
00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:02,200
Sam's out of the picture.
453
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,700
You've had the rest,
now try the best.
454
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:18,600
Happy Valentine's Day, Cliff.
455
00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:26,400
Thank you.
456
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,700
Cliffie, uh, where--
where is ev...
457
00:19:37,700 --> 00:19:39,900
Cliffie?
458
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,700
(snaps fingers)
459
00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:43,700
Cliffie!
460
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,100
Thank you.
461
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,100
I've had 20-20 vision
all my life.
462
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:07,600
Now when I go
to a restaurant,
463
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,100
I have to have someone
at the next table
464
00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:10,500
hold the menu so
I can read it.
465
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,000
(both chuckle)
466
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,200
No, you know what the worst
thing about old age is?
467
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:17,100
It's when you get so old that
the skin under your arms
468
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:21,500
starts getting loose
and hanging like turkey wattle.
469
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,500
I thought that
only happened to women.
470
00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:25,600
Yeah, that's what I meant.
471
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:30,600
I just, you know, I hate
to see it, that's all.
472
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,400
Has your doctor put
you on a bran diet?
473
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,400
Oh, yeah, God...
474
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:38,500
Oh, I tell you--
oh, thank you. Oh!
475
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,700
Last year was the worst.
476
00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:42,600
You know, I went in for this
stomach problem.
477
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:45,200
Turned out I had a stone
the size of a golf ball.
478
00:20:45,300 --> 00:20:46,800
Took me a month to pass it.
479
00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:49,100
Sam, has your hair
started turning gray?
480
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:50,600
Hey, hey. You're getting
a little personal there.
481
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,600
Aren't you?
482
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:54,400
Sam, look, it's
getting light out.
483
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:56,200
We've been
talking all night.
484
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,600
Oh, hey, how about that?
485
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:01,400
Wow! You know, that's...
that's a first.
486
00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:02,800
Kind of nice to know
that we have
487
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:04,800
something in common
besides our bodies.
488
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:06,800
Oh, yeah, we have
the deterioration
489
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:08,000
of our bodies.
Yeah.
490
00:21:09,300 --> 00:21:10,900
Well, I've got
a long drive ahead.
491
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,200
I better get started.
492
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:13,500
Oh, no. Wait, wait.
493
00:21:13,500 --> 00:21:14,900
Wait a second here, listen.
494
00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:17,100
Honey, y-you can't go now.
495
00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:19,000
I mean, we barely spent
the night together.
496
00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:20,500
W-Why can't you stay?
497
00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:22,900
Oh, Sam, I would love to,
but you know how this works.
498
00:21:22,900 --> 00:21:24,300
Just one night a year.
499
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,900
Yeah, but that's
a stupid rule, you know that?
500
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,200
I never have understood that.
501
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:29,500
W-Why can't you stay?
502
00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:31,900
I have to get to Portland
by Presidents' Day.
503
00:21:31,900 --> 00:21:34,400
There's a linebacker
I always meet there.
504
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,100
You, you do this
with other guys?
505
00:21:39,100 --> 00:21:40,600
Well, you have other
women, don't you?
506
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,700
Well, yeah, but not once a year.
507
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,900
I mean, I thought I was
special to you.
508
00:21:46,900 --> 00:21:48,300
Oh, Sam, you are.
509
00:21:48,300 --> 00:21:50,400
You'll always be
my Valentine.
510
00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:56,600
Next year.
511
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,400
Yeah, all right.
512
00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,800
Bye-bye.
513
00:22:01,300 --> 00:22:04,800
Listen, I could start seeing you
on Arbor Day, too.
514
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:05,700
Really?
Mm-hmm.
515
00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,000
Oh, great!
516
00:22:07,100 --> 00:22:09,400
Don't you see another guy
on Arbor Day, though?
517
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:10,500
I did, but he died.
518
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:13,400
How?
519
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:14,700
Happy.
520
00:22:14,900 --> 00:22:17,200
Okay, okay.
521
00:22:17,300 --> 00:22:19,900
Yeah, yeah.
We'll do it next time.
522
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:38,300
Thank you...
35656
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