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1
00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:07,760
Look at me, right?
2
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:09,520
And look at the Queen.
3
00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:14,120
I was never a fan until it occurred to me
how much me and Ma'am have in common.
4
00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,680
Bringing up kiddies
you can't remember the names of.
5
00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:20,120
I know she's not a single parent,
but she might as well be.
6
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:24,560
Plus, the pair of us, we've stuck
to our guns, her literally sometimes,
7
00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:26,840
and flagshipped a dying breed.
8
00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:29,160
Admired and despised equally.
9
00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:34,600
Not for never lifting a finger, no,
for setting examples through extremity.
10
00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:37,400
And whether you're a bigwig on her
end or a bigwig on mine,
11
00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:39,480
you've still got all your dickheads
in the middle to deal with,
12
00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:41,400
snip, snip, snipping at your benefits.
13
00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:44,200
I mean, she can't not be looking
at me and thinking,
14
00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:46,000
"What's your secret, Frank?"
15
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:49,120
I got shot of my kids' yonks back,
16
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,440
whereas she's yet to see
the back of a single one.
17
00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:52,480
Fine!
18
00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:54,800
I've had to get out of bed on occasion
to make ends meet,
19
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:58,040
whereas she, she's done
the whole thing from a chair.
20
00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:01,560
Oh, and a drink for the lady.
21
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:02,960
Oh, sure, there's perks.
22
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:04,120
But, look at her lot.
23
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,600
Brian May prancing about on her roof.
24
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,080
Now, look at my lot,
25
00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:13,120
we know how to throw
a proper fucking pa-a-rty!
26
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,680
[people chattering]
27
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,520
[Billy] If you knew
what other people thought of you,
28
00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:26,840
would you behave the same?
29
00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:32,560
The way I see it,
there's two versions of yourself.
30
00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:35,240
There's that you
that everyone else sees...
31
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:37,640
you know, what they think of you.
32
00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:39,960
How they see you.
33
00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:41,920
-Wee-oh!
-[giggles]
34
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:48,000
Then there's that you that you see,
what you really think about yourself.
35
00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:51,360
It's all about the rights of people,
the rights of men, the rights of women,
36
00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,880
not just about tarts under horses
at the derby.
37
00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:59,400
And sometimes, those two versions,
they're really different.
38
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,960
-Twat!
-Dickhead!
39
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:07,040
But sometimes, they're the same.
40
00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:11,880
It's all right being exactly
what people think you are
41
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:15,760
if you're cool, like Rambo
or The Terminator,
42
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:17,520
but who'd want to be Billy Tutton?
43
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,320
No one, that's who.
44
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,720
"No experience required.
45
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:25,800
Make up to £1,000 per week.
46
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:27,360
And car included."
47
00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:29,640
-Do you really think I can do it?
-No.
48
00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:32,000
[Mimi] Fix it or I'll have your balls.
49
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,400
[Billy] Right. Go on, then.
Ask me one of them questions.
50
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:35,680
What's going on?
51
00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:37,240
[Aidan] William here's sick
of being bone idle.
52
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:39,520
-[whooshes]
-Since when?
53
00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,840
So, William, what are your strengths
and weaknesses?
54
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:48,600
I've been knocked unconscious
maybe seven or eight times,
55
00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:50,280
and I've got no permanent brain injury.
56
00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:53,720
My weaknesses? Er, OK.
57
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:55,680
[sighs]
58
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:59,880
I'm not a very quick learner,
but when I get it, I've got it.
59
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:02,360
And not even a crowbar to the skull
will make me forget it.
60
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,240
-[chuckles]
-What do you think?
61
00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,320
I wouldn't build your hopes up.
62
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:14,160
Besides which, you've already got
the most important job in the world,
63
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:17,520
bringing up little Miss Poo-poo Pants.
64
00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:19,160
Yay! Go to Daddy!
65
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,600
That's more your style, lad. Shit patrol.
66
00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:25,680
[door opens]
67
00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:28,280
[lips flapping]
68
00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,240
[imitates gunshot]
69
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:31,840
[groans]
70
00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:44,600
What happened?
71
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,440
I've got a strong personality.
72
00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:48,080
Kids struggle with that.
73
00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:49,160
Which kids?
74
00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,240
I can't help if you won't tell me.
75
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:53,800
You can't help anyway.
76
00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:57,200
[splash]
77
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,880
There's a case of lager
if you can clear that
78
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,240
before the council finds out
what we've been dumping.
79
00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:09,000
All right, two cases of lager.
80
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:11,320
[sighs]
81
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,880
So how would your colleagues describe you?
82
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,200
What?
83
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:18,000
Oh, oh, right, er, well,
84
00:04:18,079 --> 00:04:20,000
no one really pays much attention to me.
85
00:04:20,079 --> 00:04:21,519
But this sales job would change all that
86
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,440
'cause people respect you
if you're good at summat.
87
00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:26,000
What you doing?
88
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,200
That's hanging, bro.
89
00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:29,240
-Now smell it.
-No!
90
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:30,840
-Go on, give him a kiss!
-No, man!
91
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:36,440
Just imagine, people thinking I done
all right, my wife looking at me, proud.
92
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,320
Little bastards!
93
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,000
I want to be more than balls-deep in shit.
94
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:02,040
You peddling hummus?
95
00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:03,840
-[school bell rings]
-[sighs]
96
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,440
It's a private matter, Mimi, so.
97
00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:07,760
When you gonna spit it out
98
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:11,160
or do I have to go and listen to me
wire in Vernon's office?
99
00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,280
Thalia's having problems with other kids.
100
00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:17,720
Well, tell her to punch them.
101
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:19,720
We're not fighting pitbulls!
102
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,320
This is delicate, Mimi,
103
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:24,160
and delicacy, no offence,
isn't really your thing, is it?
104
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,960
[smirks]
105
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,960
She was happy till we moved her here.
106
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:30,200
I failed her!
107
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:32,320
My son's been stoned for a year.
108
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:33,600
I know failure.
109
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,400
There's no reason to pick on her.
110
00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:39,480
She's only been here a few months
and it's not like she's fat or ugly.
111
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:43,560
We take bullying very seriously,
extremely seriously.
112
00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:48,120
It's just, we can't do very much
about it, so...
113
00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:51,680
I want something done,
and if I have to go to the papers,
114
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:52,720
to the Education Department--
115
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:56,000
No! No, no, no, no, no! You misunderstand.
116
00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,080
Of course, we'll do everything we can.
117
00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:02,120
There's Government grants
for all this anti-bullying caper.
118
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:04,360
-Mimi Tatton--
-Mimi Tutton.
119
00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:06,560
Bullying's right up her alley.
120
00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:18,040
-What do you know about sales?
-I've sold things before.
121
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:21,280
Drugs, Billy, not security systems.
122
00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:22,760
Drugs, house alarms.
123
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,840
Once you get to know your product,
you know how to sell it.
124
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:27,880
I've got transferable skills.
125
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,640
It's not like we need the money.
126
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:30,680
It's not about the money.
127
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,440
I'm supporting us both fine, aren't I?
128
00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:34,880
-Yeah, but--
-You don't want for nothing.
129
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,080
[door closes heavily]
130
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:57,600
[clock ticking]
131
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:01,960
There you go.
132
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,280
You all right, love?
133
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,200
I've got a job interview at ten next door.
134
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:11,600
Today's your day!
135
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:13,120
Everyone expects me to fuck up.
136
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,680
Try that thing where you imagine
the interviewer sitting on the toilet
137
00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:20,160
with their pants down,
like everybody else.
138
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:27,320
[sighs]
139
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:31,720
Wait!
140
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:34,040
What if it's a woman and I get a stiffy?
141
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,880
You're here
'cause you're all little shits.
142
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,840
You target the weak, the pitiful
143
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,920
and that little bald weirdo
with the alopecia.
144
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,720
Let me be clear.
145
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,680
I don't give two figs.
146
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:53,440
But you gave Thalia Blanco
a proper shiner,
147
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:57,080
and her mam's got
a gob the size of Africa.
148
00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:58,720
So, who was it?
149
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,320
[sighs]
150
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,480
Who was it?
151
00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,040
Thalia made fun of Jones.
152
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,880
That kid with the bowel disorder?
153
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,880
And he spazzed out and punched her!
154
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,960
Let me get this straight,
155
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:30,000
Thalia Blanco bullied a vulnerable child?
156
00:08:32,039 --> 00:08:33,159
[chuckles]
157
00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:35,679
Aargh!
158
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:40,480
Fuck!
159
00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:46,200
Get out and don't come back,
you smack addict!
160
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,360
Methadone, my balls!
161
00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:51,960
You all right, love?
162
00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:53,560
Interview not go well, then?
163
00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:56,000
Not your day either, is it?
164
00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:57,080
[sighs]
165
00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:03,040
[door creaks open]
166
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:04,160
[door closes]
167
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,640
We need to remember
bullying hurts everyone,
168
00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,040
not just the target,
but the bully as well.
169
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:28,560
Schools have a duty of care
to protect kids,
170
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,440
and maybe that should
mean excluding bullies.
171
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:32,920
Yeah, believe me, if it was that easy
to get rid of them.
172
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,320
-This is serious.
-Yes, of course it is.
173
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:39,840
If Thalia engaged in bullying,
you'd support excluding her?
174
00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:41,040
One hundred percent.
175
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:42,680
-Are you sure?
-Yes!
176
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:43,760
Thalia's a bully.
177
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:46,040
What?
178
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,720
The kids don't like her
179
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:53,880
because she repeatedly engages
in planned and orchestrated attempts
180
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,600
at character assassination.
181
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,560
Oh, dear.
182
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:02,040
No, no. There must be a mistake.
183
00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:04,720
-She wouldn't, she couldn't--
-She did.
184
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:07,440
But--
185
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:10,680
Esther, there's no need
for denial anymore.
186
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,480
We're not here to judge.
187
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:25,080
[Lucia] Three full English,
table two, please!
188
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:26,360
[bell rings]
189
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:27,480
Hey, Billy?
190
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:29,480
Yeah?
191
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:31,400
You're doing fucking marvellous!
192
00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,400
[kids chattering]
193
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:47,920
[Billy cheering]
194
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,520
I'm employed!
195
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:50,880
-Serious?
-Serious!
196
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,840
-I'm a cook in the cafe next door.
-You're a cook?
197
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,040
-Yeah, I make 150 squid a week.
-[chuckles]
198
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:57,680
-In cash.
-That's it?
199
00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:59,040
And you have to go every day?
200
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,040
Yeah, but--
201
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,440
You're earning peanuts
for shovelling grease!
202
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:03,880
Mimi will proper respect you now.
203
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:13,960
Oi, you!
204
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,040
-I look like a salesman, don't I?
-So?
205
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:17,240
So who's to know any different?
206
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:19,920
If I tell her I'm a salesman,
I'm a salesman, aren't I?
207
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,360
Ha-ha.
208
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:22,520
Boosh!
209
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,120
Ha-ha!
210
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:30,840
[indistinct speech on TV]
211
00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,880
Mr. Hard Lock Security at your service!
212
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,200
You're joking.
They hired you in a recession?
213
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:45,720
With no skills, no experience,
no training, you got a job?
214
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,000
I blew the fucking roof off, babe!
215
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:51,200
-Boosh! Phoo.
-[laughter]
216
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:10,440
[door closes]
217
00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:11,920
[engine revs]
218
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,360
[dramatic music plays]
219
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:27,080
[Superman music plays]
220
00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:44,960
I'm Billy Tutton.
221
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:47,680
And I'm a cook.
222
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,880
What are you doing out here
on your own, love?
223
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,800
Frank nicked me keys.
224
00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:13,960
What's that?
225
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:18,400
Oh, it's broken.
It's stuck on this channel.
226
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:19,840
It's foreign.
227
00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:21,640
Aerobics channel.
228
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:28,880
You haven't been impersonating
some poor girl
229
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,000
as the Minger from Notre Dame?
230
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:34,680
But she is a minger.
Wait, I've got a picture.
231
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,720
OK, she's not very pretty,
but that's not the point!
232
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,360
Thalia, you shouldn't make fun of people.
233
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:42,560
-You do.
-I do not.
234
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:43,880
Yes, you do!
235
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:47,080
[mimics Mimi]
"Come anywhere near me with that knob
236
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,680
and I'll rag it off you
and I'll ram it up your arse!"
237
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:52,600
[laughs]
238
00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:56,320
[mimics Frank] "Oh, Derilee,
Sherilee, Sherilee--"
239
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:57,440
[laughs]
240
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:02,000
[Lillian] Anybody seen me bloody glasses?
241
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:05,120
Ah, well, yes but...
242
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:06,600
it was wrong.
243
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:09,600
If someone's ugly, don't point it out.
244
00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:12,240
Just say how nice her dress is instead.
245
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:13,800
What if her dress is minging, too?
246
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,640
Just say it's pretty anyway!
247
00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:20,440
-It's the teeniest lie.
-The truth's the truth, isn't it?
248
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,240
There you go.
249
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:29,840
What, really? I can have 'em?
250
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:32,880
Three days after the sell-by date,
but if you cook 'em well.
251
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:39,440
You all right, love?
252
00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:41,040
It's nothing, just...
253
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:44,760
thanks.
254
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:51,600
Six across.
255
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:56,680
The Egyptian President, died 1970?
256
00:14:57,960 --> 00:14:58,960
Sheik Kebab.
257
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,440
How do you spell it?
258
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:04,680
Anyway you want, love.
259
00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:06,520
Nobody can know everything.
260
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:07,560
Aargh!
261
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,880
Nits, Lillian! Bloody nits!
262
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,360
See, what you've got
to make clear to the client
263
00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:17,160
is you're not selling security.
264
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,480
You're selling peace of mind.
And can you put a price on that?
265
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,440
But you're not selling security.
266
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,160
You're flipping eggs.
267
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:25,880
This job has changed my life.
268
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,800
Maybe I should buy cufflinks.
269
00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:30,120
Do you have a shirt that needs cufflinks?
270
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,800
No, but just the thought of buying 'em
makes me feel proud,
271
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:36,200
like I'm a man who needs cufflinks.
272
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:37,640
But you don't need 'em!
273
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,240
You don't have a shirt
'cause you don't have the job!
274
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:40,760
Yeah, but nobody knows that, do they?
275
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:44,200
I made it, all right?
276
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,800
Billy Tutton has finally become a man.
277
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:50,280
[clicking lighter]
278
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:55,160
[clicks]
279
00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,280
So talk me through how you do it.
280
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,360
Sell me security.
281
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,040
Once you've got 'em sold on cameras,
282
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:09,160
you can flog 'em dead bolts,
window guards.
283
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,560
Give the windows a shake and look grave.
284
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:13,800
[laughs]
285
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,680
Shitting themselves
is exactly where you want 'em.
286
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:18,480
I get 'em shitting their pants,
287
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:21,560
I shake the windows and then look grave.
288
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:27,880
You look fitter than James Bond
in that suit.
289
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,480
Lucky me, eh?
290
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:33,320
I've got me very own Hard Cock consultant.
291
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,360
[Mimi chuckles]
292
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:36,880
[zipper opens]
293
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:44,800
I had started believing, you know...
294
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:48,080
that I might actually be nothing.
295
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:49,160
A nobody.
296
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:53,080
Having a job doesn't make you somebody.
297
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:55,160
You do that.
298
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,600
Well, how am I somebody?
299
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:06,480
Well, you've got a heart
the size of a horse, you pillock.
300
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:13,440
You mean it wouldn't matter
if I didn't have the job, the suit...
301
00:17:14,599 --> 00:17:16,280
just me would be enough?
302
00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:18,880
I loved you penniless
in trainers, didn't I?
303
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:24,680
[siren wailing in distance]
304
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,560
Nice having the new car, though, eh?
305
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,320
Oh, yeah. Yeah, the car.
306
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,480
-[engine revs]
-[tyres screeching]
307
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:40,480
["Boom" plays]
308
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:50,800
[car lock chirps]
309
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:53,400
You all right?
310
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,760
Yeah, buddy.
311
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,080
You all right?
312
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:05,640
Yeah. I got you.
313
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,080
[laughs]
314
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,720
Yeah.
315
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:13,840
Gimme that.
316
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:18,280
Boosh!
317
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:24,600
-What you playing at?
-A car?
318
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:26,880
Well, how am I supposed
to make my sales without wheels?
319
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,600
Billy, you're not a fucking salesman!
320
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:29,840
That's why I'm only renting it.
321
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:33,000
It's just a mid-range hatchback,
nothing flash.
322
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:34,880
-How much?
-Two hundred quid a week.
323
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,160
You only make 150!
324
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,680
What's the point in being a hotshot
salesman if I'm not flush with cash?
325
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,080
But you're not flush with cash!
326
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,680
I know that, Einstein.
327
00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:43,920
I've got to project
an image of success, hasn't I?
328
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:48,600
[door opens]
329
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:49,800
Can I come in?
330
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,480
Oh, sorry, pet,
but kids are full of filth.
331
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,400
And I can't have that in my brothel.
332
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:56,760
Tch, sorry.
333
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,600
Your best champagne.
334
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:03,840
Not got any.
335
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:04,880
Lager then.
336
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,720
He's got a car now.
337
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,080
I'm wet with excitement.
338
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,760
I'll have a lager
and a double vodka chaser on Billy,
339
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:12,240
seeing as you're flush with cash.
340
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:13,520
Drinks on Billy!
341
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,360
[cheering]
342
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,280
Nice to see a Chatsworth lad
making something of himself,
343
00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:21,880
not like the rest
of you inbred, lazy fucks.
344
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,600
-What you doing?
-For the drinks.
345
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:29,840
You're fucked now, Billyboy.
346
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,640
You're gonna have to rob
a bank to keep this up.
347
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:33,560
[thinking]
348
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,240
Have to rob a bank to keep this up.
Have to rob a bank to keep this up.
349
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:44,360
Really, though?
350
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:45,840
Well, where else
are you going to get it from?
351
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:49,480
[keys rattling]
352
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,000
You don't use your keys, you dick.
353
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:52,800
Well, how else are we going to get in?
354
00:19:57,920 --> 00:19:59,280
[thud]
355
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:00,520
Like that.
356
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,440
Stop messing about!
Start acting like a burglar!
357
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:14,160
-[glass shatters]
-What you doing?
358
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:15,840
Burglars don't respect property, do they?
359
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,960
My aunt Harriet gave us
that for our wedding.
360
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:19,920
Well, seeing as the burglar
don't know your Aunt Harriet,
361
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,160
he wouldn't give a fuck, would he?
362
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:23,120
Me keeping it real's well going
to save our arse!
363
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,200
Right, right, right!
364
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:26,960
Make it look real,
just hurry the fuck up about it!
365
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,000
Maybe I should just shit on the bed?
366
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:30,760
No! Well, piss in the sink?
367
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:31,800
[sighs]
368
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:35,440
Making it real means cash, jewellery,
things people would steal.
369
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,480
What you doing? I said no pissing!
370
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:50,720
You said not in the sink.
371
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:51,920
This is just the hallway.
372
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:56,960
[door closes]
373
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:02,960
"Lie," she says!
374
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,480
-What happened?
-I did just as you said.
375
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,600
I said be nice to people.
How were you nice?
376
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:11,000
I told Stuart that Bec probably liked him
'cause he likes her.
377
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,400
He were well happy.
378
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:13,640
What's wrong with that?
379
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,720
Bec kicked him in the balls
when he tried to kiss her.
380
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,080
So she doesn't like him?
381
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:19,920
Course not! He's a skidmark.
382
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,960
But how do you think Stuart now feels?
383
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,840
This is how he feels!
384
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:26,520
You are a terrible mother.
385
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:38,680
Almost two grand. I'm laughing.
386
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:43,240
Right, what we're going to do is keep
the gear here till it's safe to move and--
387
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,040
You'll have to find somewhere else
to put all this shit.
388
00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:47,240
You'd have to be a fucking idiot
to want any of it.
389
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:52,080
[energetic music playing]
390
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:55,120
Can you not go any faster?
391
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:56,560
My legs are shorter than yours.
392
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:58,960
-Just make yours go quicker!
-Fuck off!
393
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:20,960
-You all right?
-[both] You all right?
394
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:22,040
You all right?
395
00:22:22,120 --> 00:22:23,440
[dog barking in distance]
396
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:34,880
[knocks on door]
397
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,040
[bangs on door]
398
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:44,120
-I heard you need a new TV.
-No.
399
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,680
[Stella] 'Cause yours is stuck
on foreign aerobics?
400
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,160
Just take it! Early Christmas.
401
00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:03,000
Since I got you a new TV,
maybe we could be friends?
402
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:35,880
[clatters]
403
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:41,000
Come on. It's OK.
404
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:42,960
No, Billy, it's not OK!
405
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:47,480
I had no idea
that locket meant so much to you.
406
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,160
It's the only thing me mam
ever gave to me,
407
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,200
the only good memory of her that I've got.
408
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,320
-When I find the fucker who did this--
-It's in the past now, babe.
409
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:58,880
Just forget it.
410
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:00,880
I'll never forget this, Billy.
411
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:03,440
Someone has taken
a massive dump on our lives.
412
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:05,920
It was just a little piss.
I got the Febreze straight on it.
413
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:11,560
When I find the fucker
who's done this, I'll rip him apart,
414
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,400
limb from fucking limb!
415
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,440
-How did they know where the money was?
-[soothing music plays]
416
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,680
Tonight's about emptying
your mind of worries.
417
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,400
Oh, turn this shite off.
418
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:35,840
It's more irritating
than a bloody yeast infection.
419
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:38,800
[clicks, music stops]
420
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:48,360
It's someone who knows us.
421
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:52,160
Who knows we wouldn't be home,
knows we've got cash.
422
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,240
I bet it's one of them bastards
from the Jockey.
423
00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:58,960
Can't we just pretend like
none of this happened?
424
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:01,800
Probably bought the fucker a drink.
425
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:05,280
[sighs]
426
00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:07,720
Well, drink up, sunshine.
427
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,720
Because you'll be lucky to shit
through a straw
428
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:12,640
when my boys are finished with ya.
429
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:16,040
Just forget it now.
You'll never find them.
430
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:18,040
We'll find them.
431
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:22,880
If we have to rough up every scroat
from here to China, we'll find them.
432
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:25,800
[chimes]
433
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:01,840
[door opens, closes]
434
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:04,320
They know!
435
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:05,600
Who knows?
436
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:06,960
-Jamie and Shane.
-We're fucked!
437
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,400
Well, if they knew, Mimi'd know,
and we'd already be dead.
438
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:10,880
If I could just give her back the locket.
439
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:12,480
Oh, yeah, sign your own death warrant?
440
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:13,760
Say I found it in the house somewhere.
441
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:15,760
The burglars dropped it on their way out.
442
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:19,400
Well, so now we're not just burglars,
we're shit burglars?
443
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:20,520
Sound.
444
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,920
-Where is it?
-Maybe you did drop it, you useless dick.
445
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,840
Don't call me useless!
Anyway, you call this secure?
446
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:29,720
I'm not the cunt
who works in security, am I?
447
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:32,840
Just dump the lot somewhere
no one will ever find it.
448
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:34,000
Dump it?
449
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:35,360
So I take all the risk
hiding all the stuff,
450
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:36,600
and now I'm supposed
to walk away with nothing?
451
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:38,400
What do you want?
452
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:39,760
-A grand.
-Fuck off!
453
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,720
-That's my wife's money!
-Which we stole, 50/50.
454
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:50,480
-That's not even a 100 quid!
-Aargh!
455
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:52,840
Please, just get rid of it or we're dead.
456
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:58,280
But it has to be someone from round here
or how'd they know to target our house?
457
00:26:58,360 --> 00:27:00,480
We've tried all the usual suspects.
Nothing.
458
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:03,440
Salmonella Sam's screwing some bird
that's not his wife,
459
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:06,560
but he definitely didn't rob ya,
and he doesn't know who did.
460
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:08,360
Steal the biscuits as well, did they?
461
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:09,760
It's probably just kids.
462
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:10,800
How do you reckon that?
463
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:13,320
It's hardly some mastermind criminal,
is it?
464
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:15,680
What sort of fucking idiot
steals a toaster?
465
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:17,120
It's the placemats that get me!
466
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,840
Might have been a fucking idiot,
but looks like he's got away with it,
467
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:22,440
and right under your noses.
468
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:25,800
What? I'm just saying.
469
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,440
I've tried every pawn shop in Manchester.
470
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:30,040
No one's tried to shift the gear.
471
00:27:30,120 --> 00:27:33,720
No one's used the money to pay off
any debts or buy anything flash.
472
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,000
Maybe we should just move on now,
eh, babe?
473
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:37,000
Put it behind us.
474
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,640
Not till I feel safe again in me own home.
475
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,840
Get Hard Lock round, I want the works.
476
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:43,920
Hard Lock?
477
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:47,280
Security so tight even a fart
can't slip out.
478
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,520
You've done your best
but my social alienation
479
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:54,000
is bigger than both of us.
480
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:55,960
We need to talk solutions.
481
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:00,400
-Home school.
-No, Thalia.
482
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:04,000
Just until I'm 18 and then I'll move
to Israel, where I'll be safe.
483
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:06,600
Home school kids are friendless freaks.
484
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:08,520
I am a friendless freak!
485
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:13,720
Why do you think they call me
"Saddo Saddo No Friends Blanco?"
486
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:14,960
Aargh.
487
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:20,200
You are a great kid
and you will make friends, I promise.
488
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,720
Even the bald kid has more status.
489
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:26,360
You do impressions of people
and make friends,
490
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:27,840
but when I do it, they hate me.
491
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:30,880
But I don't do it to their faces.
492
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:32,560
So I don't hurt their feelings.
493
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:33,840
So that makes it all right?
494
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:35,800
No! That's not what I meant.
495
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,120
I'm honest and upfront
496
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:41,040
and you sneak around being cruel
to people behind their backs.
497
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:48,240
You know what? You're right.
498
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,800
Maybe we both need to say sorry.
499
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:55,320
What can I get you?
500
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:56,600
I'm here to say I'm sorry.
501
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:57,720
What for?
502
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:04,040
I do this impression of you
behind your back.
503
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:06,600
I'm not proud of myself
and I want to apologise.
504
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:08,120
Impression?
505
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:11,360
The point is, I'm sorry
and it won't happen again.
506
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:13,320
Wait a minute.
507
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,840
-What?
-Well, show me.
508
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:17,880
Show you?
509
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,680
No, I'm not doing that.
510
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:21,840
Come on. I can take a joke, can't I?
511
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:25,240
[mimics] "What can I get you?
512
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:27,280
Fuck's sake, Karen,
I can take a joke, can't I?"
513
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,200
And then you do your nostril thing.
514
00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:34,960
See, you're doing it right now!
[chuckles]
515
00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:39,640
Yeah. Good one.
516
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:43,520
People want to forgive, Thalia.
517
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:45,360
They just need to know you're sorry.
518
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:49,800
I started in the biz doing impressions.
519
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:51,960
Go on, then, let's see what you can do.
520
00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:59,440
[mimics] "Voice of an angel, me.
521
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:01,360
Beyoncé can rim me!"
522
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,960
As I said, I'm very sorry.
523
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:10,400
[mimics] "They can't refuse a mosque
524
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:13,320
'cause little fat skinheads march
from one dole office to another,
525
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:14,760
the bald little twats."
526
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:17,280
[groans]
527
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:23,920
That went well.
528
00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:34,520
-Can I come in?
-No, pet.
529
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,840
Oh, you shouldn't have, sweetheart.
530
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:41,840
Thank you.
531
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:43,960
Now can we be friends?
532
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:47,600
You need friends your age
or you'll end up a weirdo.
533
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,520
And believe me, I know...
534
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:50,800
Thank you.
535
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:57,760
Are you sure you know what you're doing?
536
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:02,880
[screams]
537
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:04,200
Fuck!
538
00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:08,520
So how much did all this cost?
539
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:10,000
[sighs]
540
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:16,640
Two cameras, hard locks for the front
and back doors, and this.
541
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:17,720
-[turns on]
-[dogs barking]
542
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:19,360
[turns off]
543
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:22,440
Er, about 800 quid.
544
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:26,200
-Isn't that your car?
-What?
545
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:31,000
Fuck!
546
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:32,760
[door rattles]
547
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:34,480
Fuck! Billy.
548
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:35,840
[keys rattle]
549
00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:45,280
-[engine revs]
-Where you going, bro?
550
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:48,040
-You should've kept up the payments.
-[tyres squealing]
551
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,120
That's my car, you dick! Aargh!
552
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:54,120
That your car?
553
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:55,880
Yeah, it's just going in for a checkup.
554
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,360
-Oh. Surprise!
-[keys rattle]
555
00:31:58,440 --> 00:31:59,760
Welcome to your newly-secured home.
556
00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:01,880
Got the Hard Lock crew in today.
557
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:03,040
[sighs]
558
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:15,920
If it weren't for Billy,
I'd have gone mad.
559
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,480
Nah, I haven't done much really.
560
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:22,800
You've been a bloody rock, staying calm,
fixing up the house safe.
561
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:27,400
I'd have pummelled the first scally
I thought looked at me funny.
562
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:28,960
Could be somebody we know.
563
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:30,360
Maybe even someone here.
564
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:39,040
What can I get you, darlin'?
565
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:40,480
Vodka and coke, please.
566
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:45,680
-Where d'you get that?
-What?
567
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:47,560
-That's me ma's locket!
-What?
568
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:49,040
What you on about?
569
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:51,960
-Get off me!
-Where d'you get it?
570
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:55,360
No lies or I'll have your twat
on a barbeque!
571
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:56,600
Where d'you get it?
572
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:03,480
[indistinct conversations]
573
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:18,400
[knocks on door]
574
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,080
[indistinct conversations]
575
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:34,680
[Mimi] What d'you know about this?
576
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:36,000
-My locket?
-[Mimi] No!
577
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:37,320
My locket!
578
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:40,840
Is she giving 'em to everyone?
I thought I was special.
579
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:42,520
[Mimi] That's my TV!
580
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:43,720
Who gave it to you?
581
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:46,080
[Lillian] You can't be angry with her.
She didn't mean--
582
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:47,320
Who?
583
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:49,160
Stella.
584
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:52,400
[Mimi] A six-year-old didn't smash
my front door open.
585
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:53,800
[Jamie] Or carry that.
586
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:57,080
-Where do you think you're going?
-I didn't do anything!
587
00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:58,120
Ey?
588
00:33:58,200 --> 00:33:59,760
Then why the fuck
are you scarpering then, eh?
589
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:03,440
You stole from me? From your friend?
590
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:04,440
Billy?
591
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:08,360
[Mimi] That's the lowest,
most despicable... Break his arm.
592
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,360
[groans] Billy made me!
593
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:14,520
Why would me own husband steal from me?
594
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:15,840
Tell him, Billy.
595
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:19,520
He's insulted you, he's insulted me.
Tell him.
596
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,400
[dramatic music playing]
597
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,639
You wouldn't, I know you wouldn't.
598
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:40,880
[door opens]
599
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:42,480
[door closes]
600
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:45,719
Babe! Babe!
601
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:47,199
Just stop!
602
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:48,560
[screams]
603
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:01,440
Why?
604
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:06,080
'Cause like, when you think
of the great men in history,
605
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:10,840
like Martin Luther King,
Winston Churchill, Roy Keane.
606
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:12,600
What the fuck you on about?
607
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:16,080
They stood for something! They did things.
608
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:17,840
That's why I became a salesman.
609
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:19,800
Well, a cook.
610
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:22,720
Is anything you've told me true?
611
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:24,520
I love you.
612
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,560
I believed in you, Billy,
you fucking idiot!
613
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:30,040
I know, babe, I'm sorry.
614
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:33,960
Even though I knew I shouldn't.
You, a salesman? You?
615
00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:35,640
I just wanted to show you,
616
00:35:35,720 --> 00:35:38,600
the way you looked at me when you thought,
617
00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:42,360
it felt good, like, I might be a man.
618
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:48,120
Anytime you wanna be a man, Billy,
you know what you have to do?
619
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,000
Don't play at it, just be one.
620
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:06,560
[birds chirping]
621
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:11,200
If it isn't the littlest Supreme,
622
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:13,960
this an encore performance?
623
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:16,360
What do you know
about living with bipolar?
624
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:21,680
And then I guess, Dad went inside,
she just lost the plot, you know?
625
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:27,720
And then that's when she went off her meds
and the drinking really started.
626
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:32,720
I think when she started sleeping
with Frank for comfort.
627
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:34,240
Oh.
628
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:35,920
Allah be merciful.
629
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:38,280
Yeah.
630
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:39,520
Rock bottom.
631
00:36:41,240 --> 00:36:42,960
But she'd never ever have done it
632
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:45,160
if she hadn't been completely
off her tree,
633
00:36:45,240 --> 00:36:47,120
so can you forgive her?
634
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:12,320
So you got my things back?
635
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,400
Most of 'em.
636
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:17,000
Can't even fucking do that right.
637
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,880
Didn't have to bother with the juicer,
it never worked.
638
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:23,160
It does now. I fixed it.
639
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:29,880
I'm going to pay the rest back
in instalments.
640
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:33,320
I think we should live apart for a while.
641
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:36,760
I need space.
642
00:37:48,240 --> 00:37:49,640
[door closes]
643
00:37:49,720 --> 00:37:51,840
This is the life, innit?
644
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:53,600
[gunfire on TV]
645
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:57,640
A night in with the lads,
a few beers, a few laughs.
646
00:37:57,720 --> 00:37:59,520
-[farts]
-[sighs]
647
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:03,920
I bet she expects me
to come crawling back.
648
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:07,520
You know, slither in on my belly,
beg her for forgiveness.
649
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:10,400
Never apologise, never explain.
Words to live by.
650
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:13,400
Well, I tried to explain,
but she wouldn't listen.
651
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:16,160
So try again, women love persistence.
652
00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:19,080
Calling your right hand Sue
doesn't make you an expert
653
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:20,800
on feminine nature.
654
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:24,400
I'm a master of my own destiny at last,
answering to no one.
655
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:25,680
This is my opportunity to grow.
656
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:27,640
-[knocks on door]
-Wonderful!
657
00:38:27,720 --> 00:38:30,160
Now fuck off and grow somewhere quietly,
I've got company.
658
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:34,680
Ah!
659
00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:36,960
We meet again, my Pussy Galores.
660
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:39,400
Ready to shake and stir your cocktini.
661
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,960
It's none of my business, but are you OK?
662
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:58,520
It's none of your business.
663
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:01,240
[laughter in distance]
664
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:06,360
You don't ever hear a woman say that,
do you?
665
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:11,120
"I fucked up but it's all your fault
'cause I didn't feel woman enough."
666
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:13,680
-Bollocks!
-What use is "sorry" anyway?
667
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:15,040
Nothing ever gets wiped clean.
668
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,320
Then, they disappear
before you can leave 'em first.
669
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:20,400
Am I meant to apologise
for being a strong woman?
670
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:24,520
Well, he can shove his sorrys up
his good-for-nothing arse.
671
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:26,880
Fuck him!
672
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:27,960
[both] Fuck him.
673
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:34,040
[loud laughter]
674
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:02,720
[people laughing]
675
00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:18,120
On the house.
676
00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:24,480
Mental illness is nothing
to be ashamed of.
677
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:25,960
It's not?
678
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:28,280
Thalia, don't be angry with her.
679
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:30,360
The way she's holding up,
she's a little trouper.
680
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:33,160
She's told us what you've been through.
681
00:40:33,240 --> 00:40:35,680
We are all 100% behind you.
682
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:43,320
I'll get a drink.
683
00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:52,360
If you've got a psychiatric disorder,
684
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:56,040
people are falling over themselves
being understanding!
685
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:57,960
But did you have to say I was bipolar?
686
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:01,520
You can't always lie
your way out of trouble, you know.
687
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:04,320
I know, but they felt so sorry for you.
688
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:08,720
And you should have seen their faces
when I said you were shagging Frank.
689
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:10,080
What?
690
00:41:12,760 --> 00:41:13,920
Billy said I should return...
691
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:17,160
Actually, it was more my idea but...
692
00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:33,240
Celery and kiwi.
693
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:35,000
I've got into juicing.
694
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:40,160
I'm sorry about, you know,
695
00:41:40,240 --> 00:41:42,760
I mean, the piss in the hallway
was only meant for it to be realistic.
696
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:44,960
There was no bad feelings behind it.
697
00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:48,280
Look, I'm completely on your side,
698
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:50,040
you're better off without that dumb prick.
699
00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:53,320
I told Billy from the beginning, "Mimi's
not going to be impressed by sales."
700
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:58,760
So the only reason he went for that job
was to try and impress me?
701
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:01,560
And then the thick twat got himself
in deeper by renting a car.
702
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:03,480
Of course, he couldn't afford it
on his cook's salary.
703
00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:06,680
He really is a cook?
704
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:10,600
So the only solution
he's got is to rob from his own house.
705
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:13,880
[both chuckle]
706
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:21,640
Table number six says compliments
to the chef.
707
00:42:21,720 --> 00:42:22,760
It was only beans on toast.
708
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:24,960
Well, how did you do the beans?
709
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:26,080
In the microwave.
710
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:28,960
Must've been the way you spooned 'em.
711
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:31,840
Yes, darling?
712
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:32,920
Coffee?
713
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:49,560
You look cute as a chef.
714
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:51,120
I like it better than the suit.
715
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:56,040
If you'll let me explain, I know
I'm just a cook, but I'm good at it.
716
00:42:57,480 --> 00:43:00,880
It means a lot to me, to be good
at something, and if you just listened--
717
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:02,440
Billy, shut up.
718
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:06,520
Do you know why I need you?
719
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:11,440
Because you're the only thing in my life
that makes me feel like a woman.
720
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:16,640
Not a mum or an old carcass
to be tossed on the scrap heap.
721
00:43:18,240 --> 00:43:20,160
You make me feel beautiful.
722
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:25,680
You don't ever have to lie to me,
723
00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:27,800
'cause when I look at you,
I don't see nothing.
724
00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:31,440
I see the person who saved me
and keeps saving me.
725
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:36,040
That doesn't mean
that what you did wasn't stupid...
726
00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:40,160
but you don't see many men
putting in that kind of effort
727
00:43:40,240 --> 00:43:42,160
to impress their woman, do you?
728
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:53,160
You know what this is?
729
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:57,280
What?
730
00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:59,240
This is what it feels
like when you've made it.
731
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:02,880
[sighs]
732
00:44:06,720 --> 00:44:08,800
[door rattles]
733
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:10,520
Lucia, this is my wife.
734
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:13,040
-Hey!
-Hiya.
735
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:14,240
-Nice to meet ya.
-Nice to meet you.
736
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:15,520
I've heard a lot about you.
737
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:17,360
The guys, Jeff, Tom.
738
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:18,960
-Nice to meet you.
-[Billy] Growing up?
739
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:21,360
I guess it's about making your own way.
740
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:23,560
Knowing what you've got
and what you need.
741
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:26,880
Ahem!
742
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:30,160
Saying you're wrong
when you'd rather say nothing at all.
743
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:33,880
Or maybe the secret to growing up
744
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:36,520
is knowing when it's OK
to let someone else look after you.
745
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:39,440
Those two versions of yourself:
746
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:41,560
who you are and who you'd like to be.
747
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:45,080
I guess you're a success
when they come a little closer together.
748
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:52,760
When you can look at yourself and say,
"I know who I am and it's OK."
749
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:56,360
I'm OK.
750
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:03,280
It's your big chance, kid.
751
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:05,040
Her days of karaoke might be over.
752
00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:07,080
-[Patreesha] Louis!
-[Avril] Pat!
753
00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:10,280
-[Chesney] So you stole the money?
-Yeah, I stole it.
754
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:11,360
[Mimi] Fuck are you playing at?
755
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:12,680
-You're barred.
-What?
756
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:13,760
[sniffs]
757
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:15,040
[Avril] I want you to kidnap my daughter.
758
00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:17,000
We should never have taken that money.
759
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:19,080
[Patreesha] This is all
you fucking care about!
760
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:21,960
Don't! Oh!
761
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:25,880
Also a funny story.
762
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:27,560
[Mimi] Fucking pervert!
763
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:11,920
Billy's really matured now, you know.
764
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:13,440
["Moi Je Joue" playing]
765
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:15,840
[laughter]
55609
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