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1
00:00:02,448 --> 00:00:04,468
They say an army
marches on its stomach,
2
00:00:04,518 --> 00:00:07,278
and with the whole Moone and Dolan
clan back under one roof,
3
00:00:07,438 --> 00:00:09,798
it was left to Liam and Debra
to fill the bellies
4
00:00:09,958 --> 00:00:13,278
of their brimming battalion like a
jolly big bursting colostomy bag.
5
00:00:13,438 --> 00:00:16,478
This breakfast is in real danger
of turning into a brunch, Dad.
6
00:00:16,638 --> 00:00:18,518
You'd think
we had no better options.
7
00:00:18,678 --> 00:00:21,798
We should just invest in a trough
and be done with it.
8
00:00:21,958 --> 00:00:25,358
Or build a stable in the garden and
take turns throwing them pigs' guts.
9
00:00:25,518 --> 00:00:27,918
C'mon folks, less banter,
more bacon.
10
00:00:28,078 --> 00:00:31,278
Maybe we should put on
our dinner jackets.
11
00:00:33,478 --> 00:00:35,198
There's my no tip.
12
00:00:36,798 --> 00:00:39,318
Martin had the joy of rooming
with both Sinead and Trisha
13
00:00:39,438 --> 00:00:40,878
since the Dolans returned.
14
00:00:41,038 --> 00:00:43,358
Although the sisterly space
became a little tense
15
00:00:43,518 --> 00:00:45,678
when their special lady seasons
synced.
16
00:00:45,798 --> 00:00:48,078
What are you looking at?
17
00:00:48,198 --> 00:00:50,878
Nothing. You look... normal.
18
00:00:51,038 --> 00:00:54,518
You're putting too much on.
You look like a spotty ghost.
19
00:00:54,678 --> 00:00:57,198
How else am I supposed to
cover them up?
20
00:00:57,318 --> 00:00:58,998
Big paper bag over your head?
21
00:01:02,718 --> 00:01:04,798
Do you want to die, boy?
Well, get out, then.
22
00:01:06,238 --> 00:01:07,918
Aw, balls! Fourth in the queue.
23
00:01:08,038 --> 00:01:10,718
Lucky I just peed a bit in terror.
24
00:01:10,878 --> 00:01:13,958
I think queuing for the toilet makes
the house feel like a rock concert.
25
00:01:14,078 --> 00:01:15,998
Like we're at Glaston-Boyle!
26
00:01:16,158 --> 00:01:19,198
This is ridiculous. We were supposed
to be out of here months ago.
27
00:01:19,318 --> 00:01:20,678
I don't want to live in a house
28
00:01:20,838 --> 00:01:23,318
where you need a wrist-band
to use the toilet. I know.
29
00:01:23,478 --> 00:01:25,678
I just need my one million-dollar
idea to take off.
30
00:01:25,838 --> 00:01:28,758
Yeah, but while we're waiting for
Potato Patch Dolls to catch on...
31
00:01:28,918 --> 00:01:31,038
Any minute! ..can't you just get
some more shifts
32
00:01:31,158 --> 00:01:32,718
playing music at the hospital?
33
00:01:32,878 --> 00:01:35,558
I've asked, but of course
everyone started pointing fingers
34
00:01:35,718 --> 00:01:38,718
at muggins here when the
patient suicide rate went up.
35
00:01:38,878 --> 00:01:42,278
Look, don't worry, pet,
I'll think of something. I promise.
36
00:01:42,438 --> 00:01:44,438
Right after I have
a nice quick bath.
37
00:01:44,598 --> 00:01:46,878
Oh, for...!
38
00:01:48,718 --> 00:01:51,078
Lads, I'd leave it.
Couple of weeks at least.
39
00:01:52,398 --> 00:01:54,158
See how things look in the new year.
40
00:01:55,598 --> 00:01:58,438
That is classic Moone-Stock, baby!
41
00:02:00,018 --> 00:02:01,098
Oh!
42
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:21,243
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
43
00:02:25,983 --> 00:02:28,143
Dessie, did you have
two baths again?
44
00:02:28,217 --> 00:02:31,017
Restrain your bowels, my love -
I've got huge news!
45
00:02:31,177 --> 00:02:34,737
When I was in the tub there,
waiting for my second bath to fill,
46
00:02:34,857 --> 00:02:36,297
a vision came to me.
47
00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:38,657
And it's a vision
that's gonna make us rich!
48
00:02:38,777 --> 00:02:40,017
I'm listening.
49
00:02:40,177 --> 00:02:43,177
Everyone these days is talking
computers, computers, computers.
50
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:44,737
It's all I hear.
51
00:02:44,897 --> 00:02:47,777
I read an article in the Sacred
Heart about them putting the Bible
52
00:02:47,937 --> 00:02:51,137
on a computer and people reading it
wherever they were in the world.
53
00:02:51,297 --> 00:02:54,417
And it got me to thinking,
this little planet of ours
54
00:02:54,577 --> 00:02:58,457
is becoming social and I wanna get
in there before the bubble bursts.
55
00:02:58,577 --> 00:03:00,497
I want to be part of a network
56
00:03:00,657 --> 00:03:03,857
that weaves together great ideas
into a kind of...
57
00:03:05,097 --> 00:03:06,657
Boyle Wide Web!
58
00:03:08,017 --> 00:03:09,777
What are you talkin' about, Dessie?
59
00:03:09,937 --> 00:03:12,737
Isn't it obvious? I'm going to
open a Catholic bookshop!
60
00:03:12,897 --> 00:03:16,057
Oh, balls. That's even better
than what I was thinking.
61
00:03:16,177 --> 00:03:17,777
They're never going to move out.
62
00:03:17,937 --> 00:03:20,817
How quick do you think we could
build that stable in the garden?
63
00:03:20,977 --> 00:03:23,617
He's like JR Ewing, this fella.
Why are you even here?
64
00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:25,497
Liam makes a mighty brunch.
65
00:03:25,657 --> 00:03:28,057
By the way, I'm lovin'
the sexy ghost look.
66
00:03:28,177 --> 00:03:30,417
Ha! Ow!
67
00:03:30,537 --> 00:03:32,617
I think I'll go eat in the hall.
68
00:03:32,737 --> 00:03:34,297
Hello, is that the bank? 'Might be.'
69
00:03:34,457 --> 00:03:36,977
Do you have such a thing
as a manager? 'Might do.'
70
00:03:37,137 --> 00:03:40,297
This gig is getting all a bit
moshpit-y for my liking, buddy.
71
00:03:40,457 --> 00:03:44,537
We need to get our own space, away
from those menstruating maniacs.
72
00:03:44,697 --> 00:03:48,817
I'd love to, Sean, but
relocating is really stressful. Mmm.
73
00:03:51,177 --> 00:03:52,897
Arrghh! Me legs!
74
00:03:54,017 --> 00:03:55,497
Arrghh! Me head!
75
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:04,337
Arrghh! Me eyes!
76
00:04:06,817 --> 00:04:08,497
Hey! What about up there?
77
00:04:08,657 --> 00:04:11,137
That's a nice comfy-looking
ceiling, all right.
78
00:04:11,297 --> 00:04:14,217
If only we could defeat
our old nemesis, gravity.
79
00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:16,617
No, no, I meant the attic, Martin.
80
00:04:17,857 --> 00:04:19,257
Oh, right.
81
00:04:19,417 --> 00:04:22,137
On a mission for planning
permission, Liam went to do battle
82
00:04:22,297 --> 00:04:25,297
with Boyle's most stringent
building supervisor.
83
00:04:25,417 --> 00:04:27,177
Ah! It's yourself, Liam.
84
00:04:27,337 --> 00:04:30,737
Well, now. You look far too stressed
for one so handsome.
85
00:04:32,097 --> 00:04:35,097
How are ye, Gerry? Actually, I'm here
on a bit of a business matter.
86
00:04:35,257 --> 00:04:38,337
Oh, right. Let me retrieve
that embrace I forced upon you.
87
00:04:40,177 --> 00:04:43,257
Gone! I was looking for some
advice on planning permission, Gerry.
88
00:04:43,377 --> 00:04:44,857
Ask away.
89
00:04:45,017 --> 00:04:48,177
We're looking to build an outhouse
for some errant offspring.
90
00:04:48,337 --> 00:04:50,857
Kind of a get-out-of-our-house
house.
91
00:04:51,017 --> 00:04:54,057
Well, what I wouldn't give for
an overloaded dwelling, Liam.
92
00:04:54,217 --> 00:04:56,857
It's an empty old home
with the wife away.
93
00:04:57,017 --> 00:04:59,897
Geraldine gone again, Ger?
Another business trip with her boss.
94
00:05:00,057 --> 00:05:03,177
That's nice. Where to this time?
Paris, I think she said.
95
00:05:03,297 --> 00:05:04,577
Paris?
96
00:05:04,697 --> 00:05:06,657
What does she do again?
97
00:05:06,817 --> 00:05:08,457
She's the secretary
down at the dump.
98
00:05:08,577 --> 00:05:09,697
Right.
99
00:05:10,897 --> 00:05:12,897
Just her and her boss, is it?
That's right.
100
00:05:13,057 --> 00:05:16,377
But it's hard, Liam. Sure, they only
got back from the Alps last Tuesday
101
00:05:16,537 --> 00:05:19,457
and they're off
to the Caribbean for Christmas.
102
00:05:19,617 --> 00:05:23,377
Work is work, but it puts
an awful strain on things.
103
00:05:23,537 --> 00:05:28,857
Y'know, all the travel affects
the old intimacy. Sex.
104
00:05:28,977 --> 00:05:30,497
Yes. Got that, Ger.
105
00:05:30,657 --> 00:05:33,097
She can barely look at me
when she gets home, Liam.
106
00:05:33,217 --> 00:05:34,897
The work has her so...
107
00:05:35,057 --> 00:05:37,217
Shagged out, probably.
Nail on the head.
108
00:05:37,377 --> 00:05:41,337
You know, it might be worth talkin'
to someone about that, Ger.
109
00:05:41,497 --> 00:05:43,777
And with Debra doing
the counselling thing...
110
00:05:43,937 --> 00:05:47,497
That's right. I thought I saw one
of her fliers in the phone box.
111
00:05:47,617 --> 00:05:49,697
Maybe you could talk to her?
112
00:05:51,097 --> 00:05:52,657
Hold on a second there now, Liam.
113
00:05:52,777 --> 00:05:54,697
Hold on a second there now, Liam.
114
00:05:55,977 --> 00:05:59,217
Are you trying to bribe me for
planning with your wife's services?
115
00:06:03,857 --> 00:06:05,617
That seems fair, actually.
116
00:06:05,737 --> 00:06:07,577
Cup of tea and a bun? Yep.
117
00:06:07,737 --> 00:06:10,057
Did I say bun?
I meant peach schnapps.
118
00:06:23,457 --> 00:06:26,897
Hey, Sean, are you sure no
non-living lodgers live up here?
119
00:06:27,057 --> 00:06:29,497
What, in the haunted attic?
Surely not.
120
00:06:42,977 --> 00:06:46,777
It's me! You're the one imagining
me, ya big eejit!
121
00:06:46,897 --> 00:06:48,537
Hey, beard-face!
122
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:51,617
Oh!
123
00:06:53,337 --> 00:06:54,977
You scared the logic right outta me!
124
00:06:56,777 --> 00:06:58,777
Hey, not too shabby.
125
00:06:58,937 --> 00:07:01,737
I think we've found our new home,
Sean Murphy.
126
00:07:01,857 --> 00:07:03,377
Yeah. Oh...
127
00:07:03,497 --> 00:07:05,697
And your old bed-wetting sheet.
128
00:07:08,697 --> 00:07:10,537
Pretty gross.
129
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,417
Well...
130
00:07:19,817 --> 00:07:21,897
I think it's a brilliant idea.
131
00:07:22,017 --> 00:07:23,577
Books are all the rage.
132
00:07:23,737 --> 00:07:26,857
It would actually be criminal of me
NOT to give you a loan.
133
00:07:27,017 --> 00:07:29,657
Well, that is music
to my musical ears.
134
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:32,257
You'll be the first man to get
a special deal on a new bible
135
00:07:32,377 --> 00:07:34,057
when we're up and running.
136
00:07:34,177 --> 00:07:36,497
No, no, no, no, no. Sure, I'm Jewish.
137
00:07:38,297 --> 00:07:39,337
Oh.
138
00:07:40,697 --> 00:07:43,737
Oh, well, Jesus was Jewish.
We all make mistakes.
139
00:07:46,577 --> 00:07:47,977
You got that right.
140
00:07:48,137 --> 00:07:51,697
Now, loan-wise,
what are we talking here?
141
00:07:51,857 --> 00:07:55,137
Well, I've done some homework,
and taking rent, inventory
142
00:07:55,257 --> 00:07:56,977
and outventory into account...
143
00:07:57,097 --> 00:07:58,777
Don't drown me with detail.
144
00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:02,137
I thought this figure would see us
through our first three months.
145
00:08:04,697 --> 00:08:06,777
Oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy.
146
00:08:08,817 --> 00:08:11,137
This figure seems more realistic.
147
00:08:14,297 --> 00:08:16,897
That's twice the number
I was asking for.
148
00:08:17,057 --> 00:08:20,177
It's the '90s, Des. There's
plenty more where that came from.
149
00:08:20,297 --> 00:08:22,057
It's just... I don't know how
150
00:08:22,217 --> 00:08:24,617
I'll pay that amount back,
Mr Leech.
151
00:08:27,457 --> 00:08:29,337
# Double and deal
It's a steal
152
00:08:29,497 --> 00:08:31,977
# Double and deal
Keepin' it real
153
00:08:32,097 --> 00:08:33,937
# The interest rate is pretty high
154
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:36,577
# Double and deal
Double and deal
155
00:08:36,737 --> 00:08:38,897
# I'm worried 'bout
my coffers dry
156
00:08:39,057 --> 00:08:41,417
# But my empty palms
just make me cry
157
00:08:41,577 --> 00:08:43,617
# Double and deal
Double and deal
158
00:08:43,777 --> 00:08:46,817
♪ You have yourself a deal,
Mr Leech! ♪
159
00:08:46,977 --> 00:08:49,817
And that's how Ireland
did banking in the '90s.
160
00:08:54,977 --> 00:08:59,177
How are ye, lads? We're looking
for something nice and spacious,
161
00:08:59,337 --> 00:09:01,937
but we don't want to take up
too much of the garden.
162
00:09:02,097 --> 00:09:04,177
Yeah, and we'd like it to flow.
You know?
163
00:09:04,297 --> 00:09:07,057
A kinda modern... flow.
164
00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:10,697
Flow, right. Gotcha. OK.
165
00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:13,337
Here's what I'm thinking.
166
00:09:15,297 --> 00:09:17,937
Right, it's a south-facing aspect.
So...
167
00:09:25,537 --> 00:09:26,977
And then there's...
168
00:09:27,097 --> 00:09:28,417
Ah, right.
169
00:09:28,537 --> 00:09:30,137
That's good.
170
00:09:32,817 --> 00:09:35,137
Um... is that it?
171
00:09:35,257 --> 00:09:37,737
That's the overhead view. Ah, OK!
172
00:09:39,057 --> 00:09:41,337
So what's the side view like?
173
00:09:41,457 --> 00:09:44,257
Side view. Side view, side view.
174
00:09:44,377 --> 00:09:47,377
I just think the whole flow...
175
00:09:47,537 --> 00:09:51,257
This is the real one.
I see where you're going.
176
00:09:55,297 --> 00:09:58,137
Um... is there not going to be
a window?
177
00:09:58,297 --> 00:10:01,217
Oh, do you want a window?
Ooh-la-la!
178
00:10:01,377 --> 00:10:04,497
You do know we're not building
a prison cell here, lads, right?
179
00:10:04,657 --> 00:10:07,577
Ah, yeah. Sure, if it was a cell,
there'd be a little toilet here.
180
00:10:09,497 --> 00:10:12,257
Actually, that's good. Maybe we
should have a toilet there.
181
00:10:12,377 --> 00:10:13,817
Poo-la-la!
182
00:10:15,337 --> 00:10:18,257
This is amazing, buddy.
An actual place of our own.
183
00:10:18,377 --> 00:10:20,337
It's even got that new room smell.
184
00:10:22,937 --> 00:10:24,737
Oh, God!
185
00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:26,417
Yeah, I'm hoping that'll go away.
186
00:10:26,577 --> 00:10:28,417
Shame we couldn't get
the old bed up here,
187
00:10:28,577 --> 00:10:30,417
but this asbestos stuff
is working nicely.
188
00:10:30,537 --> 00:10:32,737
Oh, yeah - asbestos is the bestos.
189
00:10:33,937 --> 00:10:36,297
I feel cosy all the way
into my little lungs.
190
00:10:39,737 --> 00:10:41,217
Oh, balls.
191
00:10:41,377 --> 00:10:44,897
Morning, downstairs people. How's
life in the servants' quarters?
192
00:10:45,057 --> 00:10:48,217
This is still a bungalow, Martin -
even if you've moved into the roof.
193
00:10:48,377 --> 00:10:51,337
I believe everyone's calling it
Martin's Penthouse.
194
00:10:51,497 --> 00:10:53,977
Trisha, this says
your mock leaving cert exams
195
00:10:54,137 --> 00:10:56,377
start in three weeks.
Are you all set for them?
196
00:10:56,537 --> 00:11:00,257
Er... yeah, all set. I mean,
it's all about timing.
197
00:11:00,417 --> 00:11:03,697
At this stage, I don't want to be
over-prepared, you know.
198
00:11:03,817 --> 00:11:05,217
Well, it's been a hectic year.
199
00:11:05,337 --> 00:11:07,137
With the bloody baby and everything.
200
00:11:07,297 --> 00:11:10,177
Worse case scenario, I suppose
you could just repeat your exams
201
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,417
and go to college
the following year.
202
00:11:13,537 --> 00:11:14,857
So she WON'T be moving out?!
203
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,737
Does it happen to say on there
what my subjects are?
204
00:11:18,897 --> 00:11:20,977
Well, I'm heading back
to Martin's Penthouse.
205
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:22,337
I'm gonna spruce it up a bit.
206
00:11:22,497 --> 00:11:24,657
Could incorporate the en-suite
a little better.
207
00:11:24,777 --> 00:11:26,417
What do you mean "en-suite"?
208
00:11:26,537 --> 00:11:28,097
Well... the water tank.
209
00:11:29,777 --> 00:11:32,657
Does this tea taste
a little wee-y to you?
210
00:11:32,777 --> 00:11:34,817
No. But it smells like sh...
211
00:11:43,351 --> 00:11:45,471
So this is our site?
That's right, my love.
212
00:11:45,631 --> 00:11:48,311
This is where we're finally gonna
put Catholicism on the map.
213
00:11:49,949 --> 00:11:51,989
Wonder what went wrong
for the last guys?
214
00:11:52,069 --> 00:11:54,989
Who knows? A Valentine's Day
themed shop.
215
00:11:55,109 --> 00:11:56,589
Wish I'd thought of that.
216
00:11:56,709 --> 00:11:57,749
Dessie?
217
00:11:57,909 --> 00:12:01,909
Ah, here's our new landlords now.
Folks, this is my wife, Fidelma.
218
00:12:02,029 --> 00:12:04,709
Namaste. I'm Chandrashekhar.
219
00:12:04,869 --> 00:12:07,629
Oh, that's a lovely name.
Does it mean something?
220
00:12:07,789 --> 00:12:10,669
It means, "He who like Lord Shiva
holds the moon in his hair."
221
00:12:12,109 --> 00:12:13,909
Everyone just calls him Shandy.
222
00:12:14,069 --> 00:12:16,709
Ah, we're all partial
to a few of those.
223
00:12:16,869 --> 00:12:19,069
Actually we've been meaning
to talk to you
224
00:12:19,189 --> 00:12:20,629
about the nature of your shop.
225
00:12:20,789 --> 00:12:23,709
Would it be possible to display
a few Hindu statues on the premises?
226
00:12:23,869 --> 00:12:26,429
It will bring good luck
to the building.
227
00:12:26,589 --> 00:12:29,709
Oh. Er... The previous tenants
were happy to do it.
228
00:12:29,869 --> 00:12:33,709
Right. Didn't seem to bring
them much luck, though.
229
00:12:34,909 --> 00:12:36,229
Well, it's your choice.
230
00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:39,349
We can always discuss it again in
two months, when the lease is up.
231
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:41,869
No, no. That sounds like
a brilliant idea!
232
00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:44,389
We could do with all the luck
we can get. Right, Dessie?
233
00:12:45,629 --> 00:12:47,189
Sure, why not? Done.
234
00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:49,829
Buddha bing, Buddha boom!
As you'd say.
235
00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:52,749
If you were Buddhist.
236
00:12:53,829 --> 00:12:55,109
And Italian.
237
00:12:56,469 --> 00:12:59,749
Now, I'm no expert, lads,
but it seems fairly shallow
238
00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:01,389
for a foundation, is all.
239
00:13:01,549 --> 00:13:04,149
Sure, it's just four wee walls,
Liam.
240
00:13:04,309 --> 00:13:06,349
There's very little weight
to support.
241
00:13:06,469 --> 00:13:08,229
I suppose. And the roof, of course.
242
00:13:09,709 --> 00:13:12,149
So... you want a roof, do you?
243
00:13:12,269 --> 00:13:14,029
Ooh-la-la!
244
00:13:16,869 --> 00:13:19,189
Yeah, let's throw a roof on her -
for the craic.
245
00:13:19,309 --> 00:13:20,749
Thanks, lads.
246
00:13:22,109 --> 00:13:24,389
What's the point of drawing
up detailed plans
247
00:13:24,509 --> 00:13:26,029
if we don't stick to them?
248
00:13:26,189 --> 00:13:28,549
It's turning into
Buckingham feckin' Palace!
249
00:13:31,589 --> 00:13:35,909
I'm sure she would have come, Debra,
but she has a business lunch.
250
00:13:36,069 --> 00:13:39,029
She's probably halfway through
a magnum of champagne by now.
251
00:13:41,149 --> 00:13:43,869
Yeah. So... you brought
your boys instead?
252
00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:46,549
I did, yeah. For moral support.
253
00:13:46,669 --> 00:13:49,669
They're my rocks. Aren't you, lads?
254
00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:57,589
OK, well, I've never really done
a single-spouse session before.
255
00:13:57,749 --> 00:14:00,029
This is usually the bit
where I ask the wife
256
00:14:00,149 --> 00:14:02,029
what she thinks is wrong.
257
00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:05,229
Right. Well, I can probably answer
that one for you, Deb.
258
00:14:05,389 --> 00:14:08,989
She's just not attracted to me
any more. Physically.
259
00:14:10,229 --> 00:14:11,909
Probably because I'm going bald.
260
00:14:12,069 --> 00:14:15,349
But you're not going bald, Gerry.
Oh, indeed I am, Debra.
261
00:14:15,509 --> 00:14:18,269
Sure, look at me - I'm practically
a feckin' cue ball.
262
00:14:19,669 --> 00:14:21,429
I really don't think you are.
263
00:14:21,549 --> 00:14:23,309
He's a big fat baldy baby.
264
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:25,029
That's Geraldine's pet name for me.
265
00:14:26,509 --> 00:14:28,989
Can I ask you, Gerry,
have you ever thought of
266
00:14:29,149 --> 00:14:32,269
leading your marriage
in another direction?
267
00:14:32,429 --> 00:14:35,909
I have, Debra, I have,
but being a Catholic, sure,
268
00:14:36,069 --> 00:14:38,389
I can't go near
the old D-I-V-O-R-C-E.
269
00:14:39,709 --> 00:14:42,989
They're 13, Gerry.
I'm sure they can spell that word.
270
00:14:44,949 --> 00:14:46,669
No. No.
271
00:14:46,829 --> 00:14:50,629
I think they use their stupidity
as a coping mechanism.
272
00:14:50,749 --> 00:14:52,389
Well, they're not alone there.
273
00:14:54,549 --> 00:14:56,189
They're not even switched on.
274
00:14:56,349 --> 00:14:58,389
Meanwhile,
Martin was immersing himself
275
00:14:58,509 --> 00:15:00,549
in the world of home improvement,
276
00:15:00,709 --> 00:15:03,269
learning from the very best
in the Wild West.
277
00:15:05,869 --> 00:15:07,629
Where'd you get the sand, Frank?
278
00:15:13,909 --> 00:15:17,189
For the first time ever, even
Dessie was getting his hands dirty.
279
00:15:28,869 --> 00:15:31,709
And fearing another year at home,
Trisha was hard at work too,
280
00:15:31,869 --> 00:15:34,829
but was finding living on a building
site to be a little distracting.
281
00:15:35,949 --> 00:15:38,749
I have a book at home. Ooh-la-la!
282
00:16:18,429 --> 00:16:20,109
It's Trisha.
283
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:22,869
Your granddaughter.
284
00:16:31,029 --> 00:16:32,349
Who's he?
285
00:16:38,149 --> 00:16:41,069
Uptown, Dessie got acquainted with
the new owner of Boyle Bank.
286
00:16:41,189 --> 00:16:42,909
Peace be upon you, Des.
287
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:44,989
A pleasure to meet
a local entrepreneur. Oh.
288
00:16:45,109 --> 00:16:46,669
Go raibh maith agat, Gundeep.
289
00:16:46,829 --> 00:16:48,829
I must say, I'm so excited
by your new shop.
290
00:16:48,989 --> 00:16:51,229
Finally, there'll be some decent
Sikh literature
291
00:16:51,349 --> 00:16:52,909
available in the west of Ireland.
292
00:16:53,029 --> 00:16:54,269
Yeah.
293
00:16:55,509 --> 00:16:58,429
What? Have you thought about
opening a clothes section?
294
00:16:58,589 --> 00:17:01,829
I'm so sick of buying my turbans
in Dunnes Stores.
295
00:17:05,869 --> 00:17:07,389
One, two, three...
296
00:17:20,389 --> 00:17:21,669
Oh.
297
00:17:21,789 --> 00:17:23,149
And so, like Archimedes,
298
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:27,029
Dessie Dolan here had his
eureka moment in the bath.
299
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:32,389
Except his vision wasn't something
useless about sums. Oh, no.
300
00:17:32,549 --> 00:17:35,349
He saw a bold, dynamic
new enterprise -
301
00:17:35,469 --> 00:17:37,829
Boyle's first religious bookshop!
302
00:17:41,109 --> 00:17:45,629
And so it gives me great joy to now
joyfully open... Joys R Us!
303
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:58,989
Wow. It's a lot less Catholic
than I thought it'd be.
304
00:17:59,149 --> 00:18:01,469
It's less Catholic
than Trisha's room.
305
00:18:01,629 --> 00:18:04,469
Did you see ouiji boards anywhere?
Mine's broken.
306
00:18:04,589 --> 00:18:06,389
..which was nice,
307
00:18:06,549 --> 00:18:09,069
but then the Jews had to flee
from there as well.
308
00:18:10,429 --> 00:18:13,429
God, you've a lot of get-up-and-go,
haven't you? Fair play to you.
309
00:18:13,589 --> 00:18:17,149
Tell me this much -
where do the Jews stand
310
00:18:17,269 --> 00:18:19,829
on the whole D-I-V-O-R-C-E?
311
00:18:19,989 --> 00:18:23,509
Well, for a start, I think most of
us would say it as a single word.
312
00:18:23,669 --> 00:18:27,069
Right. Well, that puts you one
step ahead of Catholicism anyway.
313
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:28,749
Keep talkin'.
314
00:18:31,389 --> 00:18:34,749
Ah, there you are, Father.
So what do you think of the place?
315
00:18:34,869 --> 00:18:37,229
It's... lovely, Dessie. Yes.
316
00:18:37,389 --> 00:18:42,589
Although I suppose I was expecting
something a bit more...
317
00:18:42,749 --> 00:18:45,909
Catholic. Don't worry, Father.
Follow me.
318
00:18:52,269 --> 00:18:57,829
Wow! Spaceships, lizards... This
is nearly as mad as Catholicism.
319
00:18:57,949 --> 00:18:59,349
Yeah, nearly.
320
00:18:59,469 --> 00:19:01,749
I keep the good stuff in here..
321
00:19:04,709 --> 00:19:06,829
I call it the Papal pantry.
322
00:19:06,989 --> 00:19:10,109
Who knew there were so many
mad religions in Boyle?
323
00:19:10,269 --> 00:19:11,869
Certainly not me.
324
00:19:11,989 --> 00:19:13,709
But in the words of big J -
325
00:19:13,869 --> 00:19:17,429
"Forbid him not - for he that
is not against us is for us."
326
00:19:17,589 --> 00:19:20,149
By which I think he meant,
there's loads of religions,
327
00:19:20,309 --> 00:19:21,829
but Catholicism is number one.
328
00:19:23,589 --> 00:19:26,669
So your shop is going to remain
multi-faith?
329
00:19:26,789 --> 00:19:28,549
A cacophony of catechisms, Father.
330
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:31,469
So there will also be
materials available for...
331
00:19:31,589 --> 00:19:33,509
Protestants? God, no!
332
00:19:33,629 --> 00:19:35,189
Of course not.
333
00:19:35,349 --> 00:19:37,869
Oh, thank the Lord!
Good man, Dessie.
334
00:19:41,629 --> 00:19:44,149
Well, Dessie, fair play to you.
You pulled it off.
335
00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:47,269
Who'd have thought that my space
would connect with so many people?
336
00:19:47,389 --> 00:19:49,429
So proud of my hot male. Yahoo!
337
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:53,589
Ooh, looks like there's
another ribbon to cut outside.
338
00:19:53,749 --> 00:19:56,629
Unless that's some sort of
support structure.
339
00:20:02,029 --> 00:20:03,709
Um, well...
340
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:06,509
Let's try not to judge it
till we've done the full tour.
341
00:20:06,629 --> 00:20:08,869
Absolutely. Good idea.
342
00:20:15,549 --> 00:20:18,749
Ooh, what have we here?
It's not as bad as it looks.
343
00:20:18,909 --> 00:20:21,269
All it really needs
is a lick of paint.
344
00:20:24,269 --> 00:20:27,309
There's no toilet!
There's no toilet in the toilet!
345
00:20:27,469 --> 00:20:30,469
They told me they'd put in a toilet.
We definitely had a toilet!
346
00:20:31,789 --> 00:20:33,189
Martin!
347
00:20:33,309 --> 00:20:35,069
Well, the ventilation is good.
348
00:20:38,069 --> 00:20:39,469
Look at this place!
349
00:20:40,669 --> 00:20:42,429
Ooh-la-la! Parisian.
350
00:20:43,549 --> 00:20:45,189
This has a lovely flow.
351
00:20:48,069 --> 00:20:50,229
Oh! Hi, folks.
Welcome to the penthouse.
352
00:20:50,429 --> 00:20:52,989
Would you mind taking off
your shoes? Oh, I just presumed...
353
00:20:53,109 --> 00:20:55,029
It's a little cramped, but it's...
354
00:20:57,029 --> 00:20:58,549
It's perfect.
355
00:20:59,869 --> 00:21:01,549
Wait, what's happening?
356
00:21:02,749 --> 00:21:04,789
Welcome to Microloft.
357
00:21:04,949 --> 00:21:07,189
Really stretching the metaphor
there, lads.
358
00:21:10,509 --> 00:21:12,069
Never even finished the mezzanine.
359
00:21:12,189 --> 00:21:13,829
Cheer up, buddy.
360
00:21:13,989 --> 00:21:17,269
We may have lost a bachelor pad,
but at least we gained a donkey den.
361
00:21:23,749 --> 00:21:27,269
Lookin' good, Gerry! That new
religion has taken years off you!
362
00:21:27,429 --> 00:21:30,389
Thanks, Breda. Mind yourself now,
or I'll be taking years off you!
363
00:21:30,549 --> 00:21:34,029
What does that mean?
Just general flirting, Breda.
364
00:21:36,109 --> 00:21:38,669
You're not lookin' too shabby
yourself there, Tony!
365
00:21:38,789 --> 00:21:40,589
No more flaky scalp for me, Gerry!
366
00:21:40,709 --> 00:21:43,029
Oh, sorry! Sorry. Sinead?
367
00:21:43,149 --> 00:21:45,189
Allahu Akbar!
368
00:21:49,412 --> 00:22:21,083
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