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-[Garfield snoring]
-[alarm rings]
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[upbeat theme song playing]
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-[Garfield] Hee-hee!
-[remote clicks]
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[sighs] Welcome to those of you
in sorry need of education.
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Today, we will explore
the history, the legend
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of the most superior animal
on the entire planet.
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Ta-da!
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Not even close.
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Of the one million species
that inhabit this planet,
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none elicit or deserve more respect
and admiration than the cat.
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[Odie] Aww!
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Sore loser.
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Clearly the cat,
known scientifically as Felis catus,
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is the most regal animal on the Earth.
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We can trace the history
of the cat back to prehistoric times,
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a time when saber-toothed cats
roamed the land.
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The mighty saber-tooth
was master of the land,
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a great hunter, graced with keen senses
of sight, hearing, and smell.
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When he spotted
a delicious-looking prehistoric mouse,
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his feline instincts sprang into action.
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As his primitive cat cravings took over,
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he became a crazed beast
and nothing could stop him.
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[creature roaring]
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Sadly, the saber-tooth
was wiped out 13,000 years ago.
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[saber-tooth] Oww! Ohh!
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Here is our next lesson.
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In ancient Egypt, cats were worshipped
as gods and goddesses.
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As well they should be, then and now.
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[Egyptians] We worship you. We adore you.
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We love your hat. You rock.
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Thank you, thank you!
Really, you shouldn't.
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Oh, what am I saying?
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Yes, you should. And now we dance.
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[Egyptian dance music plays]
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Waaaah!
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[crowd cheering]
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[screech!]
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Those were the good old days.
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Back when they knew
how to treat a cat right.
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Hey, check this out.
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In the middle ages,
the King of Wales proclaimed
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that cats were not only cute and clever,
but also valuable.
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From this day forward,
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I decree that all cats
are to be honored and protected!
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They are cute, clever and, most important,
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they are excellent at catching mice!
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Boo! Hiss! Get him off!
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Notice how cats love to eat mice!
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[Squeak shrieks]
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Relax. I'm not gonna eat you.
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-Thou shalt not?
-No. Just playeth along.
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[Squeak] Is not good!
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[Squeak sobbing]
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-[man 1] I've got to get a cat.
-[man 2] He'll get rid of mice.
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So began the myth that cats eat mice.
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-They don't?
-[Garfield] Of course not.
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Use what little common sense
you have, pooch.
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-Hey!
-Here's a mouse, here's a pizza.
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Which one would you rather eat?
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It would be wrong to think the only value
of a cat is to rid the world of mice.
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In fact, cats have been behind,
if not directly responsible for,
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some of the greatest moments in history.
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For instance, back in the Arabian Desert
a long time ago...
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I have packed your food in these bagsmade from the lining of a sheep's stomach.
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-In here are some mice.-Oh, yummy. Mice for me to eat.
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And in this one is some goat's milk.
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That's a little better, but not much.
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Couldn't we stop off for Chinese food?
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The nearest placeis only 3,000 miles away.
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-[thud!]
-[camel groans]
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-Enough nomading for one day.
-[teeth chattering]
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We stop here.
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Boy, was it a hot one today!
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Since I'm not about to eat mice,I guess I'm stuck with goat's milk.
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Hey, something's wrong with this stuff.
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It's solidified into ripened curdsof soured milk.
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-Does anyone have a cracker?-Yes!
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Triple-yum!I believe I have just invented a new food.
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-[mice cheering]
-[mouse] Give me some of that!
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This is a great invention.I shall call it "cheese."
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Now he's giving cats credit
for inventing cheese!
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That's ridiculous!
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Everyone knows cheese
was invented by a mouse.
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But aside from inventing cheese,
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cats have made other great contributions
to the world.
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For instance, Florence, Italy, 1503.
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The guy at the easel is Leonardo da Vinci.
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Yes, yes!
I can see it coming together now.
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Not what you'd call a masterpiece.
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Stop, gatto! Stop, little topo.
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You will ruin the great painting
I am doing,
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which is destined to hang forever
in the galleries of the world.
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[cat] Whaaaaa!
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-My beautiful painting!
-Hey, calm down, Lennie.
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[sobbing]
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It's not-a that wonderful. I could paint
a better painting with my tail.
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Now, what shall I paint?
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I know. Your sister Shirley.
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Terrible.
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But the people
who buy art have so little taste.
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Good, gatto! Good!
What can I give you as a reward?
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Well, hundreds of years ago,
my ancestors invented cheese.
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I was wondering if you,
being Italian, of course,
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could combine it with tomato sauce
and layers of flat pasta noodles?
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And then bake for, say,
one hour in a 350-degree oven?
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Now a cat created lasagna!
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And painted the Mona Lisa!
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[Garfield] 1804.
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The study of the great composerLudwig van Beethoven.
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[Beethoven] No, no!
Nein, nein! It's all wrong!
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Hello, Amadeus.
Have you caught any mice today?
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[Amadeus snickers]
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[plays opening notes to 5th symphony]
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[purring]
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[Beethoven] Wait. Do that again.
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Hmm. ♪ Ba ba ba bumm ♪
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♪ Ba ba ba bumm ♪
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♪ Ba ba ba bumm... ♪
Brilliant!
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Thank you, Amadeus!
You deserve a tasty reward!
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[Beethoven chuckles]
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And that's the truth.
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A cat was responsible
for Beethoven's fifth symphony. Brilliant!
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[mouse] He's taking credit for everything!
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[Garfield] Hey! Stop! Get off me!
Come on, guys. Wait!
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What's all this talk about cats doing this
and cats doing that?
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You make it sound like cats
have done everything good!
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Hey, I can't rewrite history, can I?
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-That's all you've been doing here!
-Tell them the truth, Garfield.
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-Well, it mostly happened like--
-The truth.
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Or we'll let Jon know how many pizzas
you put on his credit card last month.
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Alright, alright!
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Ladies and gentlemen,
there were a few details
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I left out of the stories I just told you.
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Hey, something's wrong with this stuff.
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It's solidified into ripened curdsof soured milk.
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-This stuff is tasty.-I think I've died and gone to heaven.
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Tasty!
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I think we should callthis stuff "cheese."
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Cheese? Why?
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Because... it looks more like cheesethan anything else I can think of.
141
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Okay, everyone!Let's record this moment in history.
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Everyone look at me and say "Cheese!"
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[camera shutter snaps]
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And that story about Leonardo da Vinci...
Well, it was true what I said, sort of.
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She's ruined! [sobbing]
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Yeah, sure looks that way.
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00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:09,080
Maybe you should try painting clowns
or Elvis on black velvet.
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00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:12,360
Hey, I know how to fix-a that!
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00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:22,040
Actually, it's not bad. Not bad at all.
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00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:25,560
-[phone rings]
-Hello? Yeah, he's here.
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It's for you. The Louvre in Paris.
They heard about your new painting.
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News travels-a fast in the world of art.
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The Louvre? The Louvre?
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Why, that is the greatest art museum
in the world.
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Little topo, I wanna reward you!
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I wanna cook something wonderful for you!
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Well, I had this idea
for something called "lasagna."
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Lasagna?
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No! No one will ever want to eat
something called "lasagna"!
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Who knew?
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And then that story about Beethoven
and his fifth symphony?
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[Beethoven] Amadeus!
There is a mouse in here!
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Boy, for a guy who doesn't hear so good,
he's good at hearing mice.
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Hey, take it outside, fellow.
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[sighs] Now I have to chase him, I guess.
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[Beethoven] It's no use! I do not even
know how to start my fifth symphony!
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Maybe I should move on to my sixth!
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[mouse playing opening notes]
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Wait! That is it!
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♪ Dah dah dah dahhh ♪
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Genius! Thank you, little mouse!
Thank you!
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So you see, though cats have made
their contribution to history,
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so have mice.
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-Garfield, that was terrific.
-We misjudged you.
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You're a pretty honest cat.
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Yeah! It takes a big cat
to do something like that. Thanks!
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-Bye!
-Bye-bye.
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-Thanks, Garfield!
-So long!
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[Odie yipping]
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No, of course we're not gonna put
that stuff about mice on the air.
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00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:16,440
We'll edit it out and just show the part
about how great cats are.
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00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:22,600
This DVD is the show we just did.
I'm supposed to send it to the network,
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00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:26,880
so they can broadcast it
to the whole country, but I won't.
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00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,920
That one goes in the trash.
185
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:33,640
Instead, I'm sending them this one,
in which I edited out all the mice stuff
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00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:37,080
and just left in the part
about how great cats are.
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[Odie] It's unfair.
188
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[Garfield] No, it's not unfair.
It's just sneaky.
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00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:46,640
Besides, name me one smart thing
mice have ever done.
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00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:55,880
Well, for one thing,
we're really good at switching videos.
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[mice laughing]
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[clang!]
193
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Yeah, I'm flying over Earth.
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00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:13,880
I decided to stock up
on my favorite Earth food.
195
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:18,400
They call them marshmallows.
I got a whole cargo hold full of them!
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00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,520
[alarm beeping]
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00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:25,400
[woman] Error. You openedthe storage hold.
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00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:28,240
There goes your supply of marshmallows.
199
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,520
[alien] Oh, no! I have to get them back!
200
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,600
[incoming whistle]
201
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,080
[thud!]
202
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:40,320
[Odie] Hmm.
203
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:44,880
[sniffs]
204
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:46,040
Huh? [gasps]
205
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,160
Hey, good to see you again, Odie.
206
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:51,160
You wouldn't have seen something
falling from the sky?
207
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:55,440
[barking]
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00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:56,400
[alien gasps]
209
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:02,040
Ooh! Thank you, Odie!
You deserve a reward!
210
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:06,520
This is a Forever Doggy Cookie.
It's yours.
211
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,800
Mmm! [crunching]
212
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:11,000
[gasps]
213
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:16,400
Interesting cookie, is it not?
It reconstructs itself after each bite.
214
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:18,360
Thus, you never run out of cookie.
215
00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:26,360
Alright. You might want to hide the cookie
in that hole there.
216
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:34,000
-Farewell.
-[Odie] Bye-bye!
217
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,640
[Odie yipping]
218
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:41,240
[chewing] Mmm.
219
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:43,960
Maybe I shouldn't have given him
that cookie.
220
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:47,720
Might it not have an unpredictable effect
on an Earth dog?
221
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:49,840
Nah.
222
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:54,960
[Garfield snoring]
223
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:03,800
Uhh! The most unpleasant invention
in the history of mankind.
224
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:07,720
The doggie-tongue alarm clock.
Go annoy Jon.
225
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:10,240
[Odie whimpers]
226
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:14,080
It says the longer you have pets,
the more you take after them.
227
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:17,520
That's a theory some doctors have.
It's not true.
228
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:23,120
Hi, Odie.
I'm happy to see you too, fellow.
229
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:26,680
I have literature in my car
about this idea of owners
230
00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:30,240
taking on characteristics of their pets;
I'll be right back with it.
231
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:34,200
Gee, if I start acting like my pets,
I hope I take after Odie
232
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:37,120
and not Garfield.
I don't think I could eat all that lasa...
233
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:38,840
Ruff! Arf!
234
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:39,880
[growls]
235
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,160
Ruff ruff ruff ruff!
236
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,000
[panting]
237
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:49,640
Odie! Get this through
that thick doggy skull of yours.
238
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,000
I told you to leave me alone.
239
00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:58,480
[Jon whimpering]
240
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:02,920
No, Jon, I will not throw the stick
so you can fetch it.
241
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,800
[whimpering]
242
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,040
Huh?
243
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:15,760
I found the article, Jon.
244
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:19,000
It says pet owners rarely act
like their animals.
245
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:19,960
[Jon panting]
246
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:21,840
Ruff ruff!
247
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:23,520
Ruff! [panting]
248
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:24,840
Jon?
249
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,280
Ohhh! Ewww!
250
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,080
I think he wants you to rub his belly.
251
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:35,080
Jon, this isn't funny. This is... Ruff!
252
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:38,600
Rrrr ruff ruff ruff!
253
00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:41,240
-Ahem.
-[doorbell rings]
254
00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:45,160
Why do I have the feeling that whoever
this is is gonna make things worse?
255
00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:51,840
I have a registered letter for Mr. Ar--
Aaaah!
256
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,560
Stop it, Odie! You shouldn't... Ruff!
257
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,120
Ruff!
258
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:02,880
For some reason, the mailman
has gone out to bite mailmen.
259
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:08,080
Odie! Somehow, I have the idea
you're responsible for this.
260
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:09,520
[Odie gasps, yips]
261
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,920
I have to figure out what's happening.
262
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:19,920
I'd better go to the place where you can
find out anything about anything:
263
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,240
the Internet!
264
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:29,600
I'll do a search for "silly cartoonist
acting like sillier dog."
265
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:32,760
[both barking and panting]
266
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:37,880
Huh?
267
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:42,280
I found a chat room
with people who watch this cartoon.
268
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:47,600
"Garfield doesn't know that Odie
slurps transmit alien dog disease. LOL."
269
00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:49,280
So that's it!
270
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:53,120
"Garfield reading our online chat
to figure out what's going on."
271
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,960
"Away from keyboard!" [laughs]
272
00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:00,760
By the way, Odiefan99,
you misspelled my name!
273
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,160
I before E!
274
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:06,440
If their slurps pass on
this dog thing to others,
275
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,760
I'd better keep them all in the house.
276
00:17:08,839 --> 00:17:12,240
Wonder where I can get a flea collar
that fits Jon.
277
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,280
-[gasps]
-[door creaking]
278
00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:20,760
They got away! [shrieks]
279
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,079
[clang!]
280
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,120
I have to stop them before it's too late.
281
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:34,560
It's too late.
282
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:36,240
[man snarling]
283
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:40,320
Down, boy! You're not a dog.
You're Jon's insurance man.
284
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:43,000
-[growling]
-[Garfield screams]
285
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:48,120
He was like this
the time Jon filed a claim, too.
286
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:53,320
[man snarling]
287
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:03,240
There, there.
Good insurance man. Good boy.
288
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:05,120
But I'm really too late.
289
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,680
[barking]
290
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:12,040
-[barking]
-Whoa!
291
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:13,520
[cat shrieking]
292
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:19,160
Looks like an emergency.
Maybe the governor can do something.
293
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:22,640
But if I'm re-elected,
I will rid this city
294
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:26,320
of all the stray animals
that are roaming our streets!
295
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:29,480
[slurping]
296
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:33,600
Why, you see how much
the government employees love me.
297
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,720
They even lick my face...
298
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,040
[growling]
299
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:39,040
[panting, barking]
300
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:41,280
-[yipping]
-[officer] Whoa!
301
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:43,400
[barking]
302
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:47,840
You know, that's the most intelligent
speech he's given in eight years.
303
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:54,000
Look, I know you don't
do this very often, but think.
304
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:56,120
Did anything unusual happen to you lately?
305
00:18:57,240 --> 00:19:00,480
[yipping]
306
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:04,000
Our friend from outer space came by
and gave you a weird cookie?
307
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:05,720
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
308
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,160
Earth is doomed.
309
00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:10,160
Nimbus is probably
a bajillion miles from here now.
310
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:13,280
I'll never find him
and get him to undo this.
311
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,520
Greetings, Garfield.
312
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:17,120
[Odie] Huh?
313
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:18,360
Nimbus?
314
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:22,120
I was worried about what effect
that doggie treat would have on Odie,
315
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:26,840
so I came to check on him,
but I see he's fine, so I'll be on my way.
316
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,280
[buzzer sounds]
317
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,600
No, wait! No, don't go!
318
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,120
Whoaaaa!
319
00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:39,680
Let me in! Let me in!
320
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:45,240
Don't you know what's going on
all over our city? Look!
321
00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:49,600
What do you make of these reports
that a strange epidemic
322
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:53,480
is turning every human being
on this planet into a dog?
323
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,840
[barking]
324
00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:02,080
In other news, city firemen reportlong lines at most hydrants.
325
00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:05,760
It all started with Odie
and that cookie you gave him.
326
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:10,120
I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do.
There is no antidote.
327
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:20,120
Every person and animal on Earth will soon
be a dog once someone licks them.
328
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:21,200
Even you.
329
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,120
But this is terrible.
330
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:28,560
Wait, I've been licked today by Odie.
Many times. And I'm still me.
331
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:32,160
You haven't been infected?
That might mean cats are immune.
332
00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:33,880
Quick! Stick out your tongue.
333
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:37,480
I need a sample of your saliva
to create an antidote!
334
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:39,640
I've sampled your cat spit
335
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:42,720
and synthesized a breakdown
of its molecular structure.
336
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,960
You folks in the chat rooms
probably understand this.
337
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:50,960
[console clattering]
338
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,200
[woman] Antidote successfully created.
339
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:59,320
Great! Now, we have to spray this
all over everyone who's been licked!
340
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,960
[woman] Begin spraying antidote.
341
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,480
[men barking]
342
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:11,360
[spaceship whooshing past]
343
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,400
I don't know what happened, I just...
344
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,760
[pedestrians barking]
345
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,560
[man] ...then I got an extra can of milk.
346
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:24,240
[pedestrians barking]
347
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:27,640
-...anything like that before, did you?
-I don't know, it was terrible.
348
00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:29,680
[Garfield] Waaaah!
349
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:30,960
Hah!
350
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:33,480
[yipping]
351
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:39,160
-[Jon] ...so the other three is wonderful.
-[Liz] Huh?
352
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,080
[mailman barking]
353
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:42,680
[spaceship zooming over]
354
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:48,080
Wait a minute...
What? That was absolutely...
355
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:52,760
Antidote successful.All humans have been decontaminated.
356
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,240
One more thing I must take care of.
357
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:57,120
[whoosh!]
358
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:04,760
Sorry, Odie, but you can't keep
the Forever Doggy Cookie.
359
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:06,320
It would create another contagion.
360
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,240
Hmm? Ohh!
361
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:10,840
But you can have these instead.
362
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:12,840
[yip]
363
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:20,280
-How does a Forever Doggy Cookie work?
-Oh, like this. You take a bite.
364
00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:21,400
[crunch]
365
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:25,240
And the cookie restores itself.
Then you take another bite.
366
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:28,360
-[crunch]
-And the cookie restores itself.
367
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:33,000
-They wouldn't happen to make...?
-No, there is no Forever Kitty Lasagna.
368
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:36,400
-Rats.
-Farewell again, my friends!
369
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,440
Come on, Odie. Let's go eat.
370
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:46,960
-Whoa!
-[Odie] Huh?
371
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,760
Mmm, mmm!
372
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:54,880
I know it's weird, guys, but I have
this craving for Odie's dog food.
373
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:56,080
[panting]
374
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:59,760
Nimbus said it might take a while
to wear off with some people.
375
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:02,280
[Odie muttering]
376
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:08,240
Well, until it does, I guess you
have to walk him for a change.
377
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:09,720
[Odie] Huh?
27915
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