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1
00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:09,748
♪
2
00:00:09,835 --> 00:00:13,187
♪ I know a place we can go
once a year ♪
3
00:00:13,274 --> 00:00:15,450
♪
4
00:00:15,537 --> 00:00:19,758
♪ On the magical street
filled with holiday cheer ♪
5
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,283
Whoo-ooh!
6
00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:24,850
Look at that.
Sitting on Santa's lap.
7
00:00:24,937 --> 00:00:26,417
Yes.
8
00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:27,940
You're gonna be
the number one elf.
9
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,638
You're his number one elf.
10
00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:34,469
Whoo!
11
00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:36,253
Hey, Gloria,
why you dragging behind, man?
12
00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:38,212
Come on, let's go.
Show some hustle.
13
00:00:38,299 --> 00:00:40,301
God, we gonna miss
all the good deals.
14
00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:42,216
I swear to God,
every time I turn around,
15
00:00:42,303 --> 00:00:44,174
it's like you damn got lost
staring off into space.
16
00:00:44,261 --> 00:00:45,828
Fuckin' space cadet.
17
00:00:45,915 --> 00:00:47,525
All right, look here, Harmon.
18
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:48,744
Now, you gonna pick out
your own gift today.
19
00:00:48,831 --> 00:00:50,746
None of this guessing shit.
20
00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:52,443
I ain't gonna let Santa Claus
take all the credit neither.
21
00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:54,663
Now, the gift you get today--
look at me, son--
22
00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:56,404
is from your daddy.
23
00:00:56,491 --> 00:00:58,623
Now, we can go anywhere
in this entire mall.
24
00:00:58,710 --> 00:01:01,583
We can go to Chess King,
we can go to Sam Goody's,
25
00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:02,975
we can go to The Body Shop.
26
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,108
You name it.
27
00:01:11,027 --> 00:01:12,637
Well, we can get a pet
at the shelter for free
28
00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:14,074
instead of supporting
this puppy-mill shit.
29
00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:23,561
Are you a cat boy
or a dog boy, Harmon?
30
00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:24,954
Some people might think
they're both,
31
00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:26,782
but you got to be
one or the other.
32
00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:27,913
Now, that's just a fact.
33
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,437
Now, which one are you?
34
00:01:34,224 --> 00:01:37,140
Aw, he a cat boy.
35
00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:39,229
Gloria, go to the back
and get the manager.
36
00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:41,449
You gonna buy Harmon
a cat today.
37
00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:42,667
Trust me, he's gonna need it.
38
00:01:42,754 --> 00:01:44,321
Go.
39
00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:51,502
You like them kittens?
40
00:01:51,589 --> 00:01:53,287
Beep beep.
41
00:01:53,374 --> 00:01:56,116
Yeah, beep beep, buddy.
42
00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:00,685
Hey, Harmon, look here.
Look at me.
43
00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:02,470
Now, son,
44
00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:05,473
you're always gonna remember
this Christmas.
45
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:09,564
But no matter what,
I will always be your daddy.
46
00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:11,174
Always.
47
00:02:11,261 --> 00:02:15,352
Just like these
genuine pair of Oakleys,
48
00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:17,180
there is no substitute
for the original.
49
00:02:17,267 --> 00:02:18,616
You hear me?
50
00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:21,706
Come here.
51
00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:25,232
Oh, yeah.
52
00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:27,103
You got the goods, boy.
53
00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:30,411
I love you, son.
54
00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:38,810
♪
55
00:02:38,897 --> 00:02:39,985
You wait right here
for your mama.
56
00:02:40,072 --> 00:02:47,036
♪
57
00:03:03,095 --> 00:03:06,447
♪ Praise
58
00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:09,841
♪
59
00:03:09,928 --> 00:03:13,715
♪ Praise
60
00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:17,327
I'm already so anxious.
61
00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:20,330
Your family's so fucking
tedious to deal with, BJ.
62
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:22,202
What? Tedious?
63
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:24,116
They only visit, like,
once a year.
64
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,814
Still, it's too much.
65
00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:27,990
This is not
what I envisioned for myself.
66
00:03:28,077 --> 00:03:30,035
In-laws.
67
00:03:30,122 --> 00:03:31,994
I always thought I would marry
a orphan with a dead family
68
00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:33,691
so I didn't have to deal
with this shit.
69
00:03:33,778 --> 00:03:35,519
Being married
is learning to compromise.
70
00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:36,999
You know, I'm getting baptized
71
00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:38,696
even though
I'm not 100% solid on it
72
00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:39,958
because I know
how important it is
73
00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:41,351
to you and your family.
74
00:03:41,438 --> 00:03:43,614
You are killing me
right now.
75
00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,790
Not 100% solid?
76
00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:49,490
BJ, I organized
a massive celebration.
77
00:03:49,577 --> 00:03:51,056
I got a DJ
coming in from Vegas.
78
00:03:51,143 --> 00:03:53,668
My daddy's gonna
baptize you personally.
79
00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:55,017
What, now you're having doubts?
80
00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:56,671
Inviting weird people?
81
00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:59,064
"Weird people"?
You mean my family?
82
00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:01,153
Why are they even coming, BJ?
83
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,851
They're fucking
filthy atheists.
84
00:04:02,938 --> 00:04:04,156
They're intellectuals.
85
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,333
People of reason
and science.
86
00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:08,422
I mean, part of it, I'm sure,
is morbid curiosity,
87
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:10,772
but for the most part,
they support me.
88
00:04:10,859 --> 00:04:12,687
They're good folks, Jude.
89
00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:16,299
Well, it is not ideal
that your mom is a divorcée
90
00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:18,214
and that Ken is just a stepdad.
91
00:04:18,301 --> 00:04:20,085
My biological father
was abusive.
92
00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:21,826
We left in the middle
of the night in 1990.
93
00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:24,133
You know that.
- I know. I know.
94
00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:25,439
I'm just saying wishes.
95
00:04:25,526 --> 00:04:27,005
- Well--
- BJ!
96
00:04:27,092 --> 00:04:30,095
- KJ!
- Oh, my son, I've missed you.
97
00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:31,880
Hugs.
- Hey.
98
00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:34,274
Aww.
Hey, Ken, looking good.
99
00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:35,927
- BJ--
- Fucking kidding me.
100
00:04:36,014 --> 00:04:38,016
Looking better than good.
Oh, my God.
101
00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:40,323
Hey, Ken.
Sup, dog?
102
00:04:40,845 --> 00:04:43,239
These are
lovely accommodations.
103
00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:45,372
Well, we just wanted
you guys to be comfy.
104
00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:47,243
I mean, we probably
could have stayed
105
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:48,897
in a couple of the 14 bedrooms
at your mansion, but--
106
00:04:48,984 --> 00:04:50,377
Oh, actually, KJ,
you couldn't have,
107
00:04:50,464 --> 00:04:51,769
'cause we have guests
right now.
108
00:04:51,856 --> 00:04:53,293
My uncle and his wife.
109
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:54,555
Crazy to spend money
on lodging.
110
00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:56,296
I mean, just two people?
111
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:58,515
Well, it is
just two people, Ken,
112
00:04:58,602 --> 00:05:00,909
but my uncle's wife
is special needs.
113
00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:03,738
Yeah, she's basically
a feral person.
114
00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:05,957
And she's also pregnant.
115
00:05:06,044 --> 00:05:07,176
So y'all want to give them
their space.
116
00:05:07,263 --> 00:05:09,439
- Yeah.
- Pregnant, ooh.
117
00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:11,093
Maybe it'll rub off
and give you two
118
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,834
some baby fever.
119
00:05:12,921 --> 00:05:13,878
- Oh, Mom, stop.
- Oh, you can go fuck yourself.
120
00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:15,576
Baby fever isn't real.
121
00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:17,099
Still would have been nice
to stay
122
00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:19,101
at the infamous
Gemstone compound.
123
00:05:19,188 --> 00:05:20,624
You're at a baptism.
124
00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:22,496
It's not a vacation,
125
00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:24,541
where, like, you stand around
and gawk at things.
126
00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:25,934
You wouldn't expect
to look at shit
127
00:05:26,021 --> 00:05:27,762
if this was a circumcision.
128
00:05:27,849 --> 00:05:29,329
If BJ was getting
his dick cut off,
129
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:30,939
you wouldn't be all, like,
130
00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:32,984
"Hey, we want
to stay in your house."
131
00:05:33,071 --> 00:05:34,203
You'd be like,
"This is important.
132
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:35,813
This is about God."
133
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:37,075
Same diff.
134
00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:41,776
Pretty great hotel, huh?
135
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:44,169
- Oh!
- Bam!
136
00:05:44,256 --> 00:05:45,606
Oh, my God!
137
00:05:45,693 --> 00:05:47,956
- Hit that sweet spot.
- Whoo!
138
00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:50,437
Boy, we have been having
some epic hangs, huh?
139
00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:52,090
Oh, we sure have.
140
00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:54,484
With each hang, stronger
and stronger bonds, huh?
141
00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:56,399
It's funny,
142
00:05:56,486 --> 00:05:58,575
'cause a business relationship
enhances a friendship,
143
00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:00,664
'cause then there's respect
and admiration.
144
00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:03,014
Yeah, I ain't proud of this,
but some of my regular friends,
145
00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:05,887
like the ones
we don't do deals with,
146
00:06:05,974 --> 00:06:07,236
I don't know,
I just feel myself thinking
147
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:08,803
they're dumb.
148
00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:11,153
Eh, not dumb.
That's not PC.
149
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,329
I just feel sorry for them.
- Mm-hmm.
150
00:06:13,416 --> 00:06:15,592
I don't think you need
to feel sorry for them.
151
00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:16,898
You know, maybe they're
just dealing with things
152
00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:18,116
outside of their control.
153
00:06:18,203 --> 00:06:19,857
You know, that's true.
154
00:06:19,944 --> 00:06:21,511
You never know
what somebody's going through.
155
00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:22,556
You know, whether it's
financial troubles
156
00:06:22,643 --> 00:06:24,253
or family cock blocks.
157
00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:25,515
- Right.
- Who wants to look
158
00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:27,387
at some pool shapes for Zion's?
159
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:29,737
I know I do. Bam!
160
00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:31,391
Infinity pool,
old-school kidney bean--
161
00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:34,263
Lyle--Lyle, uh, look.
162
00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,613
I'll admit, there is nothing
in this world
163
00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:39,311
I would rather do than discuss
pool shapes with you,
164
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:42,402
but, uh...
165
00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:44,316
I just feel like I gotta tell
y'all something first.
166
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,362
Hey, Jesse, are you crying?
167
00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:47,624
No.
168
00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:49,757
Well, concerning the money,
169
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:52,412
it looks like Amber and I
are falling a little short
170
00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:54,979
of what we need
for the Zion's investment.
171
00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:57,199
I don't think
we can pull it off.
172
00:06:57,286 --> 00:07:00,245
You don't have $10 million?
173
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:03,205
The Gemstones are worth,
like, 600 million.
174
00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:04,728
I looked it up on Bing.
175
00:07:04,815 --> 00:07:06,034
That's my daddy.
That's not us.
176
00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:07,992
I mean, one day it will be,
177
00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:10,125
but sadly, right now it is not.
178
00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:12,214
He's not helping?
179
00:07:12,301 --> 00:07:14,390
Did you ask him?
- Oh, yeah.
180
00:07:14,477 --> 00:07:15,957
He's trying
to teach me a lesson,
181
00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:17,524
telling me I gotta
figure it out on my own.
182
00:07:17,611 --> 00:07:20,091
Well, this genuinely sucks,
Jesse!
183
00:07:20,178 --> 00:07:22,354
You told us you were in.
You gave us your word.
184
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,965
You promised a commitment.
185
00:07:24,052 --> 00:07:25,619
Let me ask your dad
for the money.
186
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:27,359
- He'll say yes to Lyle.
- No, it won't work.
187
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,100
It's not gonna work.
- Well, you ask him again.
188
00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:30,798
Well, I already
asked him bunches.
189
00:07:30,885 --> 00:07:33,278
It's--
- Damn it, man!
190
00:07:33,365 --> 00:07:34,932
Joe Jonas and his wife
were just telling me
191
00:07:35,019 --> 00:07:36,151
how cool they thought you were.
192
00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:37,979
- What?
- Yeah.
193
00:07:38,066 --> 00:07:39,894
This is so disappointing, man.
194
00:07:39,981 --> 00:07:41,765
We got along so good
with y'all.
195
00:07:41,852 --> 00:07:43,506
Well, that doesn't need
to change, does it?
196
00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:45,290
I mean, we can still remain
on this pathway
197
00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:47,162
to becoming very close friends.
198
00:07:47,249 --> 00:07:49,425
We'll catch y'all
on the next investment dealio.
199
00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:51,035
We would love that.
200
00:07:51,122 --> 00:07:52,472
There isn't another one.
201
00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:54,996
This is the only one, Jesse.
202
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:57,041
See you in the car, baby.
203
00:07:57,128 --> 00:07:59,348
Do y'all think you can cover
two beers and some peanuts?
204
00:07:59,435 --> 00:08:00,654
I think peanuts are free.
205
00:08:01,872 --> 00:08:04,005
Who wants to go
on a mission?
206
00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:07,487
In 15 hours, we shall walk
the Judean Desert
207
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:11,142
just as our Messiah did
more than 2,000 years ago.
208
00:08:11,229 --> 00:08:14,755
Away from civilization,
away from betrayers
209
00:08:14,842 --> 00:08:16,452
who cheat on mamas.
210
00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:19,194
I'm talking 40 days
and 40 nights, y'all!
211
00:08:19,281 --> 00:08:21,326
Can I get a JC?
all: JC!
212
00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:23,938
Can I get a JC?
213
00:08:24,025 --> 00:08:25,461
all: JC!
214
00:08:27,376 --> 00:08:29,117
God Squad.
Let's move.
215
00:08:29,204 --> 00:08:35,689
♪ Time to move on
to a better place ♪
216
00:08:35,776 --> 00:08:38,126
♪ I'll soon find my home
217
00:08:38,213 --> 00:08:41,521
♪ No, you cannot stop me now
218
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:48,658
♪ I am on my way
219
00:08:48,745 --> 00:08:51,269
Martin.
What's the meaning of this?
220
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:53,141
Eli received your email,
221
00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:54,272
and he says
you are not permitted
222
00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:57,406
to take a jet to Israel.
223
00:08:57,493 --> 00:08:58,886
Shh. Martin.
224
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:03,760
Martin, what is the deal,
my dude?
225
00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:07,547
BJ's baptism is tomorrow,
and you are expected to attend.
226
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:09,374
Oh, shut up.
227
00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:11,942
Okay, that is asinine.
228
00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:14,031
This whole deal is just
Judy kissing Daddy's butt.
229
00:09:14,118 --> 00:09:16,904
You know this.
- Oh, I'm sorry, Kelvin.
230
00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:18,732
No, Martin, come on.
231
00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:21,299
Hey, I know
that I'm your favorite.
232
00:09:21,386 --> 00:09:23,954
You just missed us, right?
You just missed us.
233
00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:26,957
Let my people go...to Israel.
234
00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:29,351
No jets.
235
00:09:29,438 --> 00:09:31,222
Yeah, jets.
236
00:09:31,309 --> 00:09:34,312
- No, Kelvin, no.
- Yes, yes.
237
00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:36,663
No...jets.
238
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:48,239
Hey. Hi, there.
239
00:09:54,245 --> 00:09:56,247
♪ Misbehavin'
240
00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:03,646
Aw, what the hell?
241
00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:06,257
Maniac Kid.
242
00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:09,826
Are you talking to me?
243
00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:12,612
I have a message
from my boss.
244
00:10:14,178 --> 00:10:15,310
That's the state fruit
of Tennessee
245
00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:16,877
right there, old timer.
246
00:10:16,964 --> 00:10:18,618
Oh, I know a tomater
when I see one.
247
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,881
Smooshed.
248
00:10:20,968 --> 00:10:22,491
You get the message?
249
00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:23,840
Well, the message
is a little vague,
250
00:10:23,927 --> 00:10:25,755
but I think I get
the general idea.
251
00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:28,279
Well, let me
spell it out for you then.
252
00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:30,325
You hurt my boss's feelings
real bad.
253
00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:31,761
And he's not the kind of guy
254
00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:33,589
that likes to have
hurt feelings.
255
00:10:33,676 --> 00:10:35,286
Oh, I don't know anybody
that likes hurt feelings.
256
00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:37,158
Do you?
257
00:10:41,423 --> 00:10:43,730
You ain't a bad heel, son.
258
00:10:43,817 --> 00:10:46,123
That growl needs work, though.
259
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:48,212
He wants an apology.
260
00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:50,824
You're gonna give him one.
261
00:10:50,911 --> 00:10:52,521
Okay.
262
00:10:52,608 --> 00:10:54,915
Tell Junior I am very sorry,
263
00:10:55,002 --> 00:10:57,657
but he can go fuck hisself.
264
00:10:57,744 --> 00:11:04,664
♪
265
00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:10,147
Now, listen up, everybody.
266
00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:11,845
I'm gonna tell y'all a story.
267
00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:15,936
♪ There is a fountain
filled with blood ♪
268
00:11:16,023 --> 00:11:20,331
♪ Drawn from Emmanuel's veins
269
00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:24,814
♪ And sinners plunged
beneath that flood ♪
270
00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:28,992
♪ Lose all their
guilty stains ♪
271
00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:33,475
♪ Lose all
their guilty stains ♪
272
00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:37,609
♪ Lose all their
guilty stains ♪
273
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,133
♪ And sinners plunged...
274
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:40,700
Hi, good to see you.
275
00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:42,223
Thank you.
276
00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:46,662
♪ Lose all their
guilty stains ♪
277
00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:53,321
♪ When this poor
lisping, stammering tongue ♪
278
00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:57,281
♪ Lies silent in the grave
279
00:11:57,368 --> 00:12:01,982
♪ Then in a nobler,
sweeter song ♪
280
00:12:02,069 --> 00:12:06,595
♪ I'll sing thy power to save
281
00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:09,119
Hi! Amen, amen.
282
00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:11,078
Thank you.
283
00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:14,429
That's off my brand-new
hit album, "Lightning Round."
284
00:12:14,516 --> 00:12:17,998
In stores everywhere.
Also available for download.
285
00:12:18,085 --> 00:12:19,739
Wow.
286
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:23,438
Today is the day that TJ
is gonna be born again.
287
00:12:23,525 --> 00:12:24,744
Can I get an amen?
288
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:26,963
all: Amen!
289
00:12:28,443 --> 00:12:30,750
Now, who's ready
to meet TJ 2.0?
290
00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:32,490
BJ.
291
00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:36,668
Whoo!
292
00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:39,759
I don't understand this.
293
00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:41,848
Okay? I cleared it all.
294
00:12:41,935 --> 00:12:45,112
Well, you're on here,
plus one.
295
00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:48,768
- Yeah?
- But these 17 boys aren't.
296
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,247
First the planes,
now this.
297
00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:51,335
What the fuck
are we even doing?
298
00:12:51,422 --> 00:12:53,685
Everyone is getting in.
299
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,776
Okay? Trust.
300
00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:01,868
Keefe.
You are my plus one.
301
00:13:01,955 --> 00:13:03,347
Enter.
302
00:13:03,434 --> 00:13:04,392
Gather little-to-no-carb
finger foods
303
00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:06,176
to nourish the men.
304
00:13:06,263 --> 00:13:07,961
Find a service entrance
to sneak them through.
305
00:13:08,048 --> 00:13:09,701
Await my word.
306
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,617
Today we join together
with the people we love
307
00:13:12,704 --> 00:13:15,011
to witness Benjamin Jason
308
00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:19,668
declare his commitment
to our Lord, Jesus Christ.
309
00:13:19,755 --> 00:13:21,148
BJ, come on down, son,
310
00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:23,237
and join the kingdom of God.
311
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:27,807
♪ Butterflies
312
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:33,421
♪ Butterflies, they start
as caterpills ♪
313
00:13:33,508 --> 00:13:38,556
♪ And the caterpills,
they change into butterflies ♪
314
00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:41,995
♪ That's why Jesus died
315
00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:45,476
♪ To take all
of our Earthly sins away ♪
316
00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:50,568
♪ When a man outgrows
317
00:13:50,655 --> 00:13:55,791
♪ The family of his origin
318
00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:58,620
♪ And they've no place
in his life ♪
319
00:13:58,707 --> 00:14:00,970
♪ 'Cause he's different now
320
00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:04,452
♪ He's got to show them how
321
00:14:04,539 --> 00:14:10,240
♪ They need to see
and just go away ♪
322
00:14:12,112 --> 00:14:14,505
Butterflies.
323
00:14:14,592 --> 00:14:16,290
Would you like
to say anything?
324
00:14:17,813 --> 00:14:20,424
Thank you all
for witnessing my journey.
325
00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:24,820
I was an afraid man,
but now I'm brave and strong.
326
00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:28,302
Do you accept Jesus Christ
into your heart,
327
00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:30,870
as your savior?
- Yes, I do.
328
00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:38,660
Okay.
329
00:14:38,747 --> 00:14:40,314
We got you.
330
00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:44,796
Introducing
BJ "The Christian" Barnes!
331
00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:49,671
♪ Eight
332
00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:51,586
♪ Seven
333
00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:53,501
♪ Six, five
334
00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:55,285
♪ Four, three, two, one
335
00:14:57,984 --> 00:15:02,858
♪
336
00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:06,557
♪ You set my lips on fire
337
00:15:06,644 --> 00:15:10,344
♪ You won the key
to my heart ♪
338
00:15:10,431 --> 00:15:13,173
♪ You've got a special way
to move me... ♪
339
00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:15,044
I'm so proud of you,
sugar baby.
340
00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:16,872
I'm on cloud nine.
341
00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:19,005
Thank you for the honor, Eli.
342
00:15:19,092 --> 00:15:22,486
I'm gonna go slip into
some special baptism duds.
343
00:15:22,573 --> 00:15:25,011
Hey, don't you dry
that hair, though.
344
00:15:25,098 --> 00:15:27,665
People want to see it.
That's proof.
345
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,019
Well, you're really
phoning it in today,
346
00:15:33,106 --> 00:15:34,150
aren't you?
- Excuse me?
347
00:15:34,237 --> 00:15:35,847
Come on, Daddy.
348
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,545
You're being all mopey
and weird out there.
349
00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:39,068
We're not even getting fun Eli.
350
00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:41,462
We're getting
emo, low-energy Eli.
351
00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:44,508
It must be so hard
to act like you're having fun.
352
00:15:44,595 --> 00:15:46,293
Guess you'd rather
be chasing skirts
353
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:47,903
than supporting your daughter
on her big day.
354
00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:49,774
Huh, here I was
355
00:15:49,861 --> 00:15:52,473
thinking it was your husband's
big day this whole time.
356
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,257
Did BJ even want
to get baptized?
357
00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:55,432
Yes.
358
00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:58,305
I told him to, so yes.
359
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:05,790
♪ I hear your name
whispered on the wind ♪
360
00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:11,100
♪ It's a sound
that makes me cry ♪
361
00:16:11,187 --> 00:16:14,016
♪ I hear a song
blow again and again ♪
362
00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:19,369
♪ Through my mind
and I don't know why ♪
363
00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:22,982
♪ I wish I didn't feel
so strong about you ♪
364
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:26,942
♪ Like happiness and love
revolve around you ♪
365
00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:30,380
♪ Trying to catch your heart
366
00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:35,559
♪ Is like trying
to catch a star ♪
367
00:16:35,646 --> 00:16:39,781
♪ So many people
love you, baby ♪
368
00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:41,043
♪ That must be what you are
369
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:44,133
Eli. Eli, here I am.
370
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:46,353
Eli Gemstone.
Hey, hey, hey.
371
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,312
♪ There's a fountain
filled with blood ♪
372
00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:53,403
That was a great song,
wasn't it?
373
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:54,839
Brought the house down.
- Yes, sir, it was.
374
00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:55,536
- You loved it, didn't you?
- I did.
375
00:16:55,623 --> 00:16:57,277
Yes.
376
00:16:57,364 --> 00:16:58,626
You know, I'm on
the Christian pop charts now.
377
00:16:58,713 --> 00:16:59,888
I know,
you keep reminding me.
378
00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:01,759
How are you feeling, darlin'?
379
00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:04,371
- Great. I'm due any day now.
- You sure are.
380
00:17:04,458 --> 00:17:06,242
That's why I'm surprised
you traveled.
381
00:17:06,329 --> 00:17:07,983
Well, there'd be
a lot of upset folks
382
00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:09,637
if old Baby Billy
didn't make it.
383
00:17:09,724 --> 00:17:11,856
'Sides, this
is a family baptism.
384
00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:14,337
I couldn't miss that.
Now, that's way too important.
385
00:17:14,424 --> 00:17:16,818
It's a goddamn joke
is what it is.
386
00:17:18,472 --> 00:17:19,647
Hey, Tiff, you know what?
387
00:17:19,734 --> 00:17:21,257
Give me and Eli a minute.
388
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:22,693
We got some men's business
to discuss.
389
00:17:22,780 --> 00:17:23,912
Why don't you go
back over there
390
00:17:23,999 --> 00:17:25,305
and take some more pictures?
391
00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:27,046
Here, take these wings,
will you?
392
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,830
And don't fly off, now.
393
00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:30,440
Go over there
and look cute, now.
394
00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:32,355
Get that baby in focus.
395
00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:35,967
All right.
What's going on, old boy?
396
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,839
I just got a lot
on my mind.
397
00:17:37,926 --> 00:17:39,580
Well, fair enough.
398
00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:41,060
That's the funny thing
about life, you know?
399
00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:43,105
Its ups and downs.
400
00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:44,889
I mean, look at me.
401
00:17:44,976 --> 00:17:48,154
I mean, I'm on the way up,
and you on the way down.
402
00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:49,633
I'm not on my way down.
403
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:51,113
Oh, you are,
a little bit, Eli.
404
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,854
You know, but it don't matter.
405
00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:54,508
Here we are, just kind of
meeting in the middle.
406
00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:56,249
Just two chiefs sitting
inside of a tepee,
407
00:17:56,336 --> 00:17:58,207
just equals talking.
408
00:17:58,294 --> 00:17:59,904
I'm glad you're doing well.
409
00:17:59,991 --> 00:18:01,210
That's a real blessing,
410
00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:02,907
with the new baby coming
and all.
411
00:18:02,994 --> 00:18:05,823
You got a chance
to do it right this time.
412
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:07,347
Don't do him
like you did Harmon.
413
00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:09,044
Don't go mentioning
that name.
414
00:18:10,959 --> 00:18:14,310
I never told Tiff
that I had another son.
415
00:18:14,397 --> 00:18:15,964
And now's not the time
to bring it up
416
00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:18,271
since I got
a brand-new son on the way.
417
00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:19,837
Very thoughtful of you.
418
00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:21,665
I was not
the best daddy to Harmon,
419
00:18:21,752 --> 00:18:23,319
but we live, and we learn.
420
00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:24,799
I mean, things
are going good for me now.
421
00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:26,801
I got a brand-new son
on the way.
422
00:18:26,888 --> 00:18:29,760
And I don't need my old son
fucking it up.
423
00:18:29,847 --> 00:18:32,154
You know, if this--
if this new one's born
424
00:18:32,241 --> 00:18:33,938
while we're here on this visit,
425
00:18:34,025 --> 00:18:36,202
you on the hook
for financial support, right?
426
00:18:36,289 --> 00:18:38,073
- That's not how it works.
- Oh, yes.
427
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,944
It's just like them migrants do
with them anchor babies.
428
00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:42,469
Just take care
of your own responsibility.
429
00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:43,905
You are one temperamental
son of a gun.
430
00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:46,081
You know that?
431
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:49,128
It was a joke, Eli.
Chill out, man.
432
00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:55,917
Everything goes
over his fucking head.
433
00:18:56,874 --> 00:18:57,962
What a dick.
434
00:18:59,529 --> 00:19:02,837
Dr. Gemstone?
This is just beautiful.
435
00:19:02,924 --> 00:19:04,621
The pageantry of it all.
436
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:06,319
It's all Judy's doing.
437
00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:08,234
I'm just happy we were invited.
438
00:19:08,321 --> 00:19:09,974
Unlike the wedding.
439
00:19:10,061 --> 00:19:11,628
Isn't that the truth?
440
00:19:11,715 --> 00:19:13,195
I would have loved
to go to Disney World.
441
00:19:13,282 --> 00:19:14,414
But this is great.
442
00:19:14,501 --> 00:19:15,806
I mean, not just the party,
443
00:19:15,893 --> 00:19:18,113
but what a fascinating ceremony.
444
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,115
I have never been
to anything like that.
445
00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:22,378
Well, the water's
still warm.
446
00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:24,163
You're welcome
to be baptized next.
447
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:25,251
No, no, no, no.
448
00:19:25,338 --> 00:19:26,600
No way.
449
00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:28,515
We're secular people.
450
00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:31,126
- Agnostic.
- Left of center progressive.
451
00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:32,301
They're from Asheville, Daddy.
452
00:19:32,388 --> 00:19:33,955
They hate God.
453
00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:36,218
Well, God loves them, Judy.
454
00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:37,872
Uh, well, maybe someday.
455
00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:39,613
Not very likely.
456
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:47,186
♪ So catch me,
I'm falling, baby ♪
457
00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:51,320
♪ Hold onto my love
458
00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:53,279
♪ Catch me, I'm falling
459
00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:55,977
♪
460
00:19:56,064 --> 00:19:58,980
What kind of baptism
is this?
461
00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:00,721
I mean, she's acting
like it's a wedding.
462
00:20:00,808 --> 00:20:02,592
Yeah, of course she is.
463
00:20:02,679 --> 00:20:03,593
She thinks this is gonna
make up for not inviting Daddy
464
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,116
to her real wedding.
465
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,597
Eli's gonna waste
his money on this
466
00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:10,209
and not invest in a timeshare
with the Lissons?
467
00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:11,775
Look at him over there,
468
00:20:11,862 --> 00:20:13,473
thinking he's
some kind of sex man,
469
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,344
doing whatever the hell
he wants.
470
00:20:15,431 --> 00:20:18,217
Making us lose our goddamn
best friend couple.
471
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:19,696
Fuck him.
472
00:20:21,002 --> 00:20:22,482
I'm gonna say something.
473
00:20:23,961 --> 00:20:25,572
♪ Catch me now,
I'm falling ♪
474
00:20:25,659 --> 00:20:27,487
♪ Falling in love
475
00:20:27,574 --> 00:20:29,837
Hey! So where's your girls?
476
00:20:31,404 --> 00:20:33,188
What's that supposed to mean?
477
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:34,929
It means you're too busy
shaving pubes
478
00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:36,496
and dating cheap ladies
479
00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:38,149
to see the destruction
you've wrought.
480
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,543
We told the Lissons no
like you insisted.
481
00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:42,458
It broke their fucking hearts.
482
00:20:42,545 --> 00:20:43,938
So thank you for that.
483
00:20:44,025 --> 00:20:45,896
Jesse...
484
00:20:45,983 --> 00:20:47,507
I don't give a shit.
485
00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:50,074
♪
486
00:20:53,382 --> 00:20:54,731
Oh, my God.
487
00:20:56,516 --> 00:20:58,996
Look at you, BJ.
488
00:20:59,083 --> 00:21:01,651
All brand-new!
489
00:21:01,738 --> 00:21:03,262
Oh.
490
00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:05,133
A real Christian.
491
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:07,353
A man worthy of respect.
492
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,094
I'm so proud of you.
493
00:21:10,181 --> 00:21:11,966
All the obstacles
you've overcome.
494
00:21:12,053 --> 00:21:13,707
All the shit-talkers.
495
00:21:13,794 --> 00:21:15,535
It's true.
496
00:21:15,622 --> 00:21:17,406
Your family has been
pretty terrible towards me.
497
00:21:17,493 --> 00:21:19,539
I'm talking
about your family.
498
00:21:19,626 --> 00:21:21,149
My family hasn't been
shit-talkers.
499
00:21:21,236 --> 00:21:23,151
They've been very supportive.
500
00:21:23,238 --> 00:21:26,285
Your mom won't stop
going off about babies.
501
00:21:26,372 --> 00:21:27,938
Ken backs her up.
502
00:21:28,025 --> 00:21:30,550
KJ's been
condescending as fuck,
503
00:21:30,637 --> 00:21:31,899
constantly talking
about how many rooms
504
00:21:31,986 --> 00:21:33,422
are in my house.
505
00:21:33,509 --> 00:21:36,643
BJ, she made a mockery of us.
506
00:21:36,730 --> 00:21:38,079
And by all rights,
you should have owned her
507
00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:39,907
in that moment.
508
00:21:39,994 --> 00:21:41,691
We really don't have
that kind of relationship.
509
00:21:41,778 --> 00:21:43,345
We just like
to laugh and stuff.
510
00:21:43,432 --> 00:21:44,955
Whatever.
Whatever.
511
00:21:45,042 --> 00:21:46,566
Look, I'm just trying
to help you
512
00:21:46,653 --> 00:21:48,611
to not be caught off-guard
513
00:21:48,698 --> 00:21:50,265
when someone is trying
to fuck you up
514
00:21:50,352 --> 00:21:52,528
and control you
and talk shit on you.
515
00:21:52,615 --> 00:21:54,225
Oh, okay.
516
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:56,227
Want to know what she did?
517
00:21:56,315 --> 00:22:00,057
She tried to throw
your family's secular humanism
518
00:22:00,144 --> 00:22:01,929
into my daddy's face.
519
00:22:02,016 --> 00:22:04,192
Hold on. She did what?
520
00:22:04,279 --> 00:22:08,239
I wanted to kill her.
521
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,024
Okay, you know what?
522
00:22:10,111 --> 00:22:14,245
It doesn't matter,
because you are a saved man.
523
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:15,899
And because of that,
524
00:22:15,986 --> 00:22:19,120
nothing can stop our rise.
525
00:22:19,207 --> 00:22:22,079
And I just have to say,
I'm so happy
526
00:22:22,166 --> 00:22:24,212
that you're not gonna
burn in hell now.
527
00:22:24,299 --> 00:22:26,475
Whoa, you thought
I was gonna burn in hell
528
00:22:26,562 --> 00:22:28,042
all this time, Judy?
529
00:22:28,129 --> 00:22:29,826
That's really disturbing.
530
00:22:29,913 --> 00:22:32,220
BJ, I'm saying
something nice right now.
531
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:35,092
You're right.
I'm sorry.
532
00:22:36,833 --> 00:22:38,269
This is an exciting day.
533
00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:40,141
- Mm-hmm.
- Let's not ruin it.
534
00:22:40,228 --> 00:22:41,577
The only ones
who could ruin it
535
00:22:41,664 --> 00:22:43,405
are the ones who try
to hold us back.
536
00:22:43,492 --> 00:22:45,102
Like your family.
537
00:22:45,189 --> 00:22:47,540
Nobody can hold us back.
538
00:22:47,627 --> 00:22:49,106
Not when I'm wearing this.
539
00:22:50,281 --> 00:22:52,153
Yeah, boy.
540
00:22:53,589 --> 00:22:55,635
Yeah, shake that cake.
541
00:22:57,288 --> 00:22:58,725
I'm thinking about doing
542
00:22:58,812 --> 00:23:00,204
one of them
natural water births.
543
00:23:00,291 --> 00:23:01,554
Oh, a very good option
for some people.
544
00:23:01,641 --> 00:23:03,512
Uh-uh, no, no, no.
545
00:23:03,599 --> 00:23:04,905
None of that
hippie primitive stuff for me.
546
00:23:04,992 --> 00:23:06,820
I'm a wealthy man now.
547
00:23:06,907 --> 00:23:08,387
My child's gonna be born
548
00:23:08,474 --> 00:23:10,127
with the benefits
of modern technology.
549
00:23:10,214 --> 00:23:11,259
Well, my mama didn't have
none of that stuff
550
00:23:11,346 --> 00:23:12,782
when I was born.
551
00:23:12,869 --> 00:23:14,349
Yeah, but you
was a toilet baby.
552
00:23:14,436 --> 00:23:16,220
- Oh, yeah.
- A who, what?
553
00:23:16,307 --> 00:23:18,309
A toilet baby.
554
00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:22,052
See, Tiffany's mom was obese.
555
00:23:22,139 --> 00:23:23,967
Went through
her entire pregnancy
556
00:23:24,054 --> 00:23:26,013
without even knowing
she was pregnant.
557
00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:28,189
Ended up pushing this one out
558
00:23:28,276 --> 00:23:29,582
when she sat down
to do her bathroom business.
559
00:23:29,669 --> 00:23:32,846
Just, like...
560
00:23:32,933 --> 00:23:34,804
Tiff just plopped down
like a little old turd.
561
00:23:34,891 --> 00:23:35,936
Just--
562
00:23:36,023 --> 00:23:37,154
Right down in the bowl.
563
00:23:37,241 --> 00:23:39,156
Big eyes, like this...
564
00:23:39,243 --> 00:23:40,549
But it wasn't a turd.
It was me.
565
00:23:40,636 --> 00:23:42,377
That was you.
566
00:23:44,335 --> 00:23:46,381
Would you look at that.
567
00:23:46,468 --> 00:23:48,557
♪ Take your baby
by the hand ♪
568
00:23:48,644 --> 00:23:50,864
♪
569
00:23:50,951 --> 00:23:53,344
♪ And make her do
a high handstand ♪
570
00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:55,651
♪
571
00:23:55,738 --> 00:23:57,784
♪ And take your baby
by the heel ♪
572
00:23:57,871 --> 00:24:00,134
♪
573
00:24:00,221 --> 00:24:02,528
♪ And do the next thing
that you feel ♪
574
00:24:02,615 --> 00:24:04,443
♪
575
00:24:04,530 --> 00:24:08,708
♪ We were so in phase
576
00:24:08,795 --> 00:24:13,843
♪ In our dance hall days
577
00:24:13,930 --> 00:24:16,977
♪ We were cool on craze
578
00:24:19,066 --> 00:24:21,155
Oh, my God.
579
00:24:21,242 --> 00:24:24,245
What?
Not sure why you're laughing.
580
00:24:24,332 --> 00:24:26,943
Wait, this is not a joke?
581
00:24:27,030 --> 00:24:29,511
You're serious?
- It's a onesie.
582
00:24:29,598 --> 00:24:31,165
Oh, it's darling.
583
00:24:31,252 --> 00:24:32,558
He had one of those
when he was a baby.
584
00:24:32,645 --> 00:24:34,081
Mom, it's not a onesie.
585
00:24:34,168 --> 00:24:35,604
It's a romper
with a cummerbund.
586
00:24:35,691 --> 00:24:39,086
Okay, a romper.
587
00:24:39,173 --> 00:24:42,089
Ga-ga-goo-goo, little fellow.
588
00:24:42,176 --> 00:24:44,657
- No, don't make him giggle.
- Stop. Just stop.
589
00:24:46,093 --> 00:24:47,747
Get her, BJ.
Burn her to the ground.
590
00:24:49,444 --> 00:24:50,967
That attitude is part
591
00:24:51,054 --> 00:24:53,317
of what's held men back
fashion-wise.
592
00:24:53,404 --> 00:24:56,059
Okay? There's a whole world
out there to explore.
593
00:24:56,146 --> 00:24:59,628
It isn't just about separates.
594
00:25:02,413 --> 00:25:04,024
You are something else.
595
00:25:04,111 --> 00:25:06,505
He was very excited
about his clothing.
596
00:25:13,947 --> 00:25:16,863
♪ So can I fool
I'm a baby, baby boy ♪
597
00:25:16,950 --> 00:25:21,041
♪ Take me home,
I'm a baby, baby boy ♪
598
00:25:21,128 --> 00:25:24,653
♪ Tuck me in,
I'm a baby, baby, baby boy ♪
599
00:25:25,785 --> 00:25:27,090
Fuck you!
600
00:25:28,788 --> 00:25:32,008
♪ Wahh, wahh, wahh
wahh, wahh, wahh ♪
601
00:25:33,836 --> 00:25:35,490
Oh, he pisses me off
so much.
602
00:25:35,577 --> 00:25:37,057
I think I hate him.
603
00:25:37,144 --> 00:25:38,754
Oh, I think I might
hate his ass too.
604
00:25:38,841 --> 00:25:41,191
Daddy is such an a-hole.
605
00:25:41,278 --> 00:25:42,758
- Dude is the worst.
- Mm-hmm.
606
00:25:42,845 --> 00:25:44,934
I mean, he literally
ruins everything.
607
00:25:45,021 --> 00:25:47,241
Damn dope timeshare investments,
608
00:25:47,328 --> 00:25:48,895
budding friendships
with pop stars,
609
00:25:48,982 --> 00:25:50,331
my fucking potential.
610
00:25:50,418 --> 00:25:51,854
I wish I could fight
that man.
611
00:25:51,941 --> 00:25:54,074
Just destroy Daddy.
I know I could.
612
00:25:54,161 --> 00:25:55,902
I could.
I'd make him look like a fool.
613
00:25:55,989 --> 00:25:58,165
All old, stupid, and weak.
614
00:25:58,252 --> 00:26:00,515
You should.
Somebody needs to.
615
00:26:00,602 --> 00:26:04,388
I have wanted to do that
so many times.
616
00:26:04,475 --> 00:26:06,739
Pop him right
in the fucking face.
617
00:26:08,871 --> 00:26:10,656
See, your daddy...
618
00:26:10,743 --> 00:26:12,527
now, he does not believe
619
00:26:12,614 --> 00:26:14,877
that a man can change.
620
00:26:14,964 --> 00:26:16,139
But I know better,
621
00:26:16,226 --> 00:26:19,490
because I myself have changed.
622
00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:21,623
I mean, look at me now.
623
00:26:21,710 --> 00:26:24,800
Highly successful after years
of financial hardship.
624
00:26:24,887 --> 00:26:27,673
People can change.
625
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,458
And your daddy,
he don't realize that.
626
00:26:30,545 --> 00:26:32,242
Maybe you haven't heard
that he's been out and about
627
00:26:32,329 --> 00:26:34,244
having little sex encounters.
628
00:26:34,331 --> 00:26:35,681
What?
629
00:26:35,768 --> 00:26:37,073
Eli trying to fuck somebody?
630
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:38,945
Multiple somebodies, probably.
631
00:26:39,032 --> 00:26:41,469
Dude fancies himself
a damn cocksmith these days.
632
00:26:41,556 --> 00:26:43,950
Trying to make himself into
a big character for the ladies.
633
00:26:44,037 --> 00:26:46,648
Wow.
Eli Gemstone?
634
00:26:46,735 --> 00:26:48,258
Is it time to go?
635
00:26:49,477 --> 00:26:50,434
Can't you see
I'm sitting here
636
00:26:50,521 --> 00:26:51,958
talking to my nephews?
637
00:26:52,045 --> 00:26:53,437
Well, he wants Funyuns.
638
00:26:53,524 --> 00:26:55,396
Will you get 'em for me,
Baby Billy?
639
00:26:56,832 --> 00:26:58,312
I ain't even got
my walking shoes on.
640
00:26:58,399 --> 00:27:00,706
But it's my cravings.
641
00:27:00,793 --> 00:27:02,838
All right, sweet angel.
642
00:27:04,231 --> 00:27:05,580
Well, can I at least
finish my mojito?
643
00:27:05,667 --> 00:27:08,278
Nephews.
644
00:27:10,019 --> 00:27:12,152
Goddamn, y'all up here
serving prime steak,
645
00:27:12,239 --> 00:27:14,415
all she wants
is some fuckin' Funyuns.
646
00:27:35,218 --> 00:27:36,567
Okay.
647
00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:37,873
Hi, Judy.
648
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,397
Mm-mm.
Don't "Hi, Judy" me.
649
00:27:40,484 --> 00:27:42,443
'Cause I see you, KJ.
650
00:27:42,530 --> 00:27:44,619
I know you're trying
to plant shit in BJ's head
651
00:27:44,706 --> 00:27:47,578
when you're all, "Oh, we could
have stayed at the mansion.
652
00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:50,277
There's so many rooms
at the mansion."
653
00:27:50,364 --> 00:27:53,106
You're being serious right now?
654
00:27:53,193 --> 00:27:55,151
I just wanted
to see your house.
655
00:27:55,238 --> 00:27:56,892
I'm not trying
to make fights.
656
00:27:56,979 --> 00:27:58,677
That's not
what I'm trying to do.
657
00:27:58,764 --> 00:28:01,114
I just want to tell you
that I know the score.
658
00:28:01,201 --> 00:28:04,813
Siblings have to hate
siblings' spouses.
659
00:28:04,900 --> 00:28:07,033
My brothers hate BJ too.
660
00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:08,556
Why do your brothers hate BJ?
661
00:28:10,819 --> 00:28:14,257
Duh, 'cause he took my ass
off the market, bitch.
662
00:28:14,344 --> 00:28:16,477
Jesse and Kelvin
might be my brothers,
663
00:28:16,564 --> 00:28:17,783
but that don't mean they're not
664
00:28:17,870 --> 00:28:19,698
sitting up in their rooms
at night
665
00:28:19,785 --> 00:28:21,569
thinking someday they might
get to hook up with me.
666
00:28:22,657 --> 00:28:24,877
Ew, Judy, that's disgusting.
667
00:28:24,964 --> 00:28:27,749
I didn't say I was gonna do it.
668
00:28:27,836 --> 00:28:29,751
Okay? I don't know
how a man's mind works.
669
00:28:29,838 --> 00:28:31,753
I would never want
to hook up with BJ.
670
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:32,972
You're telling me
you would not want
671
00:28:33,059 --> 00:28:35,409
to fuck your fine-ass brother?
672
00:28:35,496 --> 00:28:38,151
No. I really wouldn't.
673
00:28:38,238 --> 00:28:39,587
Okay.
674
00:28:39,674 --> 00:28:41,720
What if I got a big old gun
675
00:28:41,807 --> 00:28:43,809
and I put it right
to your head and I said,
676
00:28:43,896 --> 00:28:46,986
"Ooh, KJ, I'm gonna kill you
unless you get nude
677
00:28:47,073 --> 00:28:48,509
"right now in this living room
678
00:28:48,596 --> 00:28:50,380
and fuck your brother
in front of me"?
679
00:28:50,467 --> 00:28:52,861
Then would you fuck him?
680
00:28:52,948 --> 00:28:54,558
I mean,
if you were gonna kill me.
681
00:28:54,645 --> 00:28:56,996
See? I knew it.
682
00:28:57,083 --> 00:28:58,562
I knew it.
683
00:28:58,649 --> 00:29:00,564
Don't be jealous, KJ.
684
00:29:00,651 --> 00:29:02,566
Your brother is mine.
685
00:29:02,653 --> 00:29:04,743
Stop fighting me for him.
686
00:29:08,311 --> 00:29:12,054
♪ Do you believe
in heaven above ♪
687
00:29:12,141 --> 00:29:15,971
♪ Do you believe in love?
688
00:29:16,058 --> 00:29:19,192
♪ Don't tell a lie,
don't be false or untrue ♪
689
00:29:19,279 --> 00:29:22,369
♪ It all comes back to you
690
00:29:24,284 --> 00:29:27,113
Everyone gets one protein
691
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:28,767
and one cheat dessert square.
692
00:29:33,423 --> 00:29:36,775
♪ Every day we've all been
led astray ♪
693
00:29:36,862 --> 00:29:39,603
♪ It's hard to be
lucky in love ♪
694
00:29:40,561 --> 00:29:42,911
♪ It gets in your eyes,
it's making you cry... ♪
695
00:29:42,998 --> 00:29:46,567
So you're the man
that raised BJ, huh?
696
00:29:46,654 --> 00:29:48,569
Oh, I can't
take credit for that.
697
00:29:48,656 --> 00:29:50,963
Yeah, I don't blame you.
698
00:29:51,050 --> 00:29:52,878
Man, fuck you, Jesse.
699
00:29:52,965 --> 00:29:54,749
Trying to own BJ's stepdad.
700
00:29:54,836 --> 00:29:57,186
You're so jelly.
- Oh, jelly? Of what?
701
00:29:57,273 --> 00:29:59,449
There's a new queen bee
in town.
702
00:29:59,536 --> 00:30:01,016
Oh, you have got
to be kidding me.
703
00:30:02,409 --> 00:30:04,498
I just spit facts, honey.
704
00:30:04,585 --> 00:30:06,326
You see that woman over there
with Daddy?
705
00:30:06,413 --> 00:30:08,241
That's a U.S. senator.
706
00:30:08,328 --> 00:30:10,591
This is mine and BJ's debut.
707
00:30:10,678 --> 00:30:12,201
We're making the scene, son,
708
00:30:12,288 --> 00:30:14,029
and you can expect
more to come.
709
00:30:14,116 --> 00:30:16,989
Look, I'll admit
your powers are growing, Judy.
710
00:30:17,076 --> 00:30:18,251
But everybody
in the church knows
711
00:30:18,338 --> 00:30:20,035
that your husband is a joke.
712
00:30:20,122 --> 00:30:21,950
No offense, y'all.
713
00:30:22,037 --> 00:30:24,039
But I know that this little boy
is only getting baptized
714
00:30:24,126 --> 00:30:26,476
'cause he thinks
it's gonna make him fit in.
715
00:30:26,563 --> 00:30:27,956
And why would
anyone want to fit in
716
00:30:28,043 --> 00:30:29,828
to this train-wreck
of a family?
717
00:30:29,915 --> 00:30:32,265
Oh, KJ,
that's not very polite.
718
00:30:32,352 --> 00:30:34,267
No, Mom, I have to say
719
00:30:34,354 --> 00:30:36,095
this is pretty much everything
I thought it was gonna be.
720
00:30:36,182 --> 00:30:37,618
BJ's making a huge mistake.
721
00:30:37,705 --> 00:30:39,750
These people are trash.
722
00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:41,491
- Trash?
- What did you say, bitch?
723
00:30:41,578 --> 00:30:43,624
Let me handle this, lollipop.
724
00:30:43,711 --> 00:30:45,669
You owe my family
an apology, KJ.
725
00:30:45,756 --> 00:30:48,368
They aren't you family.
We are.
726
00:30:48,455 --> 00:30:49,760
Look at what they did to you.
727
00:30:49,848 --> 00:30:52,198
This religion?
These clothes?
728
00:30:52,285 --> 00:30:55,070
It's not you, BJ.
You're not a Gemstone.
729
00:30:57,681 --> 00:30:59,858
I am a Gemstone!
730
00:30:59,945 --> 00:31:02,077
♪
731
00:31:02,164 --> 00:31:04,166
♪ Send me an angel
732
00:31:05,907 --> 00:31:09,955
♪ Send me an angel
right now ♪
733
00:31:13,088 --> 00:31:15,221
You!
734
00:31:15,308 --> 00:31:16,787
What the fuck was that?
735
00:31:16,875 --> 00:31:22,358
♪
736
00:31:22,445 --> 00:31:23,577
Are you okay, Daddy?
737
00:31:23,664 --> 00:31:26,101
I'm damn far from okay.
738
00:31:26,188 --> 00:31:28,451
You kids are an embarrassment.
739
00:31:28,538 --> 00:31:30,105
All of you!
740
00:31:30,192 --> 00:31:32,368
All of us?
I didn't even do anything.
741
00:31:32,455 --> 00:31:37,243
♪
742
00:31:41,508 --> 00:31:44,076
Yo!
We need to talk.
743
00:31:44,163 --> 00:31:46,426
I'm supposed to be
on my way to the Judean desert.
744
00:31:46,513 --> 00:31:48,384
You made me look like a fool
in front of my men.
745
00:31:48,471 --> 00:31:50,256
You make yourself
look like a fool.
746
00:31:50,343 --> 00:31:51,779
We found an entrance,
747
00:31:51,866 --> 00:31:52,823
but maybe now's
not the best time?
748
00:31:52,911 --> 00:31:54,608
- Mm-mm.
- Beat it.
749
00:31:54,695 --> 00:31:56,088
All of you, go!
750
00:31:56,175 --> 00:31:57,698
Don't you tell him
what to do.
751
00:31:57,785 --> 00:32:00,179
I'm his leader, not you.
752
00:32:00,266 --> 00:32:02,094
I'm all these guys's leader.
753
00:32:02,181 --> 00:32:06,141
Kelvin, I can no longer
support this ridiculous idea.
754
00:32:06,228 --> 00:32:08,752
It's not ridiculous.
You're ridiculous.
755
00:32:08,839 --> 00:32:10,276
A sinful old man,
756
00:32:10,363 --> 00:32:13,105
tomcatting around
with women of the night.
757
00:32:13,192 --> 00:32:14,845
You're a false prophet.
758
00:32:14,933 --> 00:32:16,630
What did you call me,
Kelvin Gemstone?
759
00:32:18,762 --> 00:32:20,851
You heard me, wrinkles.
760
00:32:20,939 --> 00:32:23,680
I am in no mood
for your theatrics, son.
761
00:32:23,767 --> 00:32:26,031
Now, it's time
you packed up those yurts
762
00:32:26,118 --> 00:32:27,293
or whatever the hell
you call them
763
00:32:27,380 --> 00:32:28,772
and move them off the compound.
764
00:32:28,859 --> 00:32:30,644
Don't you say that.
765
00:32:30,731 --> 00:32:32,472
You're mad 'cause I won't
let you go to Israel?
766
00:32:32,559 --> 00:32:34,822
I'm not spending one cent
for you and your muscle boys
767
00:32:34,909 --> 00:32:36,389
to frolic in the desert.
768
00:32:36,476 --> 00:32:37,433
So we're not going
to the desert?
769
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:39,348
Yes, we are!
770
00:32:39,435 --> 00:32:41,524
Not on my dime, Jack.
771
00:32:46,181 --> 00:32:49,184
Oh.
772
00:32:53,710 --> 00:33:00,674
♪
773
00:33:06,593 --> 00:33:08,682
How does it feel to be
on the receiving end, huh?
774
00:33:08,769 --> 00:33:10,205
About time somebody--ah!
775
00:33:12,468 --> 00:33:14,949
Ahh!
776
00:33:15,819 --> 00:33:17,256
Ow.
777
00:33:23,523 --> 00:33:25,568
♪
778
00:33:25,655 --> 00:33:28,745
Your mother's portrait. Ruined.
779
00:33:30,617 --> 00:33:34,360
That could have killed me.
- I wish it would have.
780
00:33:34,447 --> 00:33:35,535
Ahh!
781
00:33:39,843 --> 00:33:41,193
Ahh!
- You say you're sorry.
782
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:42,803
- No!
- Apologize now.
783
00:33:42,890 --> 00:33:44,022
- Never!
- Say you're sorry
784
00:33:44,109 --> 00:33:45,936
by the time I count to three.
785
00:33:46,024 --> 00:33:47,329
One...
- I'm not gonna say it.
786
00:33:47,416 --> 00:33:48,635
I'm not sorry.
787
00:33:48,722 --> 00:33:51,072
- Two...
- Sorry, not sorry.
788
00:33:51,159 --> 00:33:53,205
Three!
789
00:33:55,250 --> 00:33:58,732
I knew you weren't gonna do it.
790
00:33:58,819 --> 00:34:00,995
He ain't got the balls.
791
00:34:01,561 --> 00:34:04,216
No!
792
00:34:07,306 --> 00:34:14,226
♪
793
00:34:58,052 --> 00:35:00,446
Niece, I need to go home.
My feet are swollen.
794
00:35:00,533 --> 00:35:02,752
Well, then go home, dummy.
795
00:35:02,839 --> 00:35:05,015
Baby Billy ain't come back
with my Funyuns.
796
00:35:06,756 --> 00:35:08,497
Where the hell is he?
797
00:35:11,631 --> 00:35:18,551
♪
798
00:35:21,989 --> 00:35:24,687
What a complete shit show.
799
00:35:24,774 --> 00:35:27,342
It was such a piece of shit.
800
00:35:27,429 --> 00:35:30,171
Yo, amigo,
where's our ride?
801
00:35:30,258 --> 00:35:33,479
The host only made
arrangements for Dr. Gemstone.
802
00:35:33,566 --> 00:35:35,437
What? How the fuck
are we supposed to get home?
803
00:35:35,524 --> 00:35:37,439
Uber?
804
00:35:37,526 --> 00:35:39,049
Nah.
805
00:35:39,137 --> 00:35:40,790
We're taking this one.
- Yeah.
806
00:35:43,837 --> 00:35:50,800
♪
807
00:35:53,890 --> 00:35:55,892
♪ Whoo, yeah
808
00:35:57,546 --> 00:35:59,722
- The hell was that?
- I don't know.
809
00:35:59,809 --> 00:36:00,941
I'm gonna have to pull over
and check under the hood.
810
00:36:04,814 --> 00:36:07,730
Coolant's drained.
I'll have to grab some more.
811
00:36:07,817 --> 00:36:10,472
The hell you telling me for?
Just go fucking do it.
812
00:36:13,258 --> 00:36:15,085
Oh, she tried
to come for us.
813
00:36:15,173 --> 00:36:16,739
And look how that turned out.
814
00:36:16,826 --> 00:36:18,001
That was a disaster.
815
00:36:18,088 --> 00:36:19,873
Once again,
816
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:21,222
you and I are the only ones
with our shit together.
817
00:36:21,309 --> 00:36:22,789
Trying to expand the business
818
00:36:22,876 --> 00:36:23,833
while everybody else
is in-fighting,
819
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:25,008
looking like fools.
820
00:36:25,095 --> 00:36:26,749
Stupid.
821
00:36:26,836 --> 00:36:29,752
I had no idea Eli had
so much brutality in him.
822
00:36:29,839 --> 00:36:31,406
Oh, you didn't know
he was like that?
823
00:36:31,493 --> 00:36:33,321
No, Daddy can be
a straight-up monster.
824
00:36:33,408 --> 00:36:35,367
Trust me, you do not want
to get that dude in a corner.
825
00:36:35,454 --> 00:36:37,586
Kelvin fucked around
and found out.
826
00:36:40,067 --> 00:36:41,373
♪ You
827
00:36:41,460 --> 00:36:44,724
♪
828
00:36:44,811 --> 00:36:46,334
♪ You and me, baby
829
00:36:46,421 --> 00:36:49,903
♪
830
00:36:49,990 --> 00:36:51,383
♪ We belong together
831
00:36:51,470 --> 00:36:52,993
♪
832
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:54,603
♪ We were made
for each other ♪
833
00:36:54,690 --> 00:36:58,259
Brap-brap. Wassup?
834
00:37:07,399 --> 00:37:09,531
Ahh! Shit!
835
00:37:19,846 --> 00:37:22,501
♪ People stop to ask me
836
00:37:22,588 --> 00:37:25,199
♪ How do you please your man
837
00:37:25,286 --> 00:37:27,680
♪ Take it
from the black sheep, baby ♪
838
00:37:27,767 --> 00:37:30,422
♪ Every way I can
839
00:37:30,509 --> 00:37:32,902
♪ Sometimes it's with fire
840
00:37:32,989 --> 00:37:35,818
♪ And sometimes with ice
841
00:37:35,905 --> 00:37:38,168
♪ Just don't get it twisted
842
00:37:38,256 --> 00:37:40,083
♪ His body's gonna
pay the price ♪
843
00:37:40,170 --> 00:37:45,524
♪ Gonna rock my boy's body
844
00:37:45,611 --> 00:37:51,269
♪ Gonna rock
my boy's body ♪
845
00:37:51,356 --> 00:37:53,271
♪ Tonight
846
00:37:53,358 --> 00:38:00,278
♪
847
00:38:13,116 --> 00:38:15,728
♪ Rock it till it's sore
848
00:38:15,815 --> 00:38:18,470
♪ Treat it like a whore
849
00:38:18,557 --> 00:38:23,388
♪ Drugs, yeah,
give me some tonight ♪
850
00:38:23,475 --> 00:38:26,391
♪ I'm a lion in the bed
851
00:38:26,478 --> 00:38:29,045
♪ A tiger in the head
852
00:38:29,132 --> 00:38:31,700
♪ Hungry like a monkey
853
00:38:31,787 --> 00:38:33,398
♪ Pussy gonna take a bite
854
00:38:33,485 --> 00:38:38,968
♪ Gonna rock my boy's body
855
00:38:39,055 --> 00:38:45,018
♪ Gonna rock
my boy's body tonight ♪
60491
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